1
00:00:00,234 --> 00:00:02,945
I expect Charlie to be late
because of his nervous breakdown
2
00:00:03,013 --> 00:00:04,797
that we're all pretending is a phase.
3
00:00:04,882 --> 00:00:07,467
But where's Patrick?
4
00:00:07,551 --> 00:00:09,752
I'm watering his plants for him.
5
00:00:09,803 --> 00:00:12,438
He said he was going to
San Francisco for the weekend.
6
00:00:12,523 --> 00:00:14,257
Sacramento, not San Francisco.
7
00:00:14,308 --> 00:00:17,560
Oh, he'll get there eventually.
They always do.
8
00:00:23,951 --> 00:00:27,103
Buenos días, mis amigos.
9
00:00:28,605 --> 00:00:30,773
I am back from Baja.
10
00:00:30,824 --> 00:00:32,275
My sidekick.
11
00:00:32,326 --> 00:00:34,110
His name is Also Charlie.
12
00:00:35,579 --> 00:00:37,413
We have had many adventures.
13
00:00:37,464 --> 00:00:39,582
He is muy cansado.
14
00:00:39,633 --> 00:00:42,635
And now he must go to sleep.
15
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,555
Bedroom's upstairs.
16
00:00:45,622 --> 00:00:48,641
Buenas noches, Also Charlie.
17
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,515
All right, Angry Birds.
Let's get this thing going.
18
00:00:55,599 --> 00:00:57,517
Here's your mail.
19
00:00:57,601 --> 00:01:00,153
It's been stacking up
since you've been away.
20
00:01:00,237 --> 00:01:01,854
I was only gone a day.
21
00:01:01,939 --> 00:01:05,141
I mean, mentally went away.
22
00:01:05,192 --> 00:01:07,243
Oh, yeah. It has been a while.
23
00:01:10,664 --> 00:01:11,981
Oh, hey, look at this.
24
00:01:12,032 --> 00:01:14,951
The court is assigning
a new patient to our group.
25
00:01:15,002 --> 00:01:17,670
What? I don't like change.
26
00:01:17,755 --> 00:01:19,655
I need time to mentally prepare myself.
27
00:01:19,707 --> 00:01:22,508
Don't worry. It says here
he's not coming till next week.
28
00:01:24,678 --> 00:01:26,495
Oh, crap. It is next week.
29
00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:31,768
I'll tell you what, I'll walk slowly
to the door so you can prepare.
30
00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:34,170
Thanks, man.
31
00:01:37,341 --> 00:01:40,109
I had to park my damn
Escalade in the sun.
32
00:01:40,177 --> 00:01:41,510
Plant a tree, bitch.
33
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,017
I prefer Charlie.
34
00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:49,535
But you're new, so you didn't know.
35
00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:52,488
Everybody, this is Ray James II.
36
00:01:52,539 --> 00:01:55,375
Don't you mean Ray James, Jr.?
37
00:01:55,459 --> 00:01:58,494
People only say "the second"
if they're royalty.
38
00:01:58,545 --> 00:02:00,546
And I think the only king
39
00:02:00,631 --> 00:02:04,917
this guy's been close to
is the burger variety.
40
00:02:05,002 --> 00:02:07,003
No, you ignorant hillbilly.
41
00:02:07,054 --> 00:02:08,704
It is Ray James II.
42
00:02:08,756 --> 00:02:10,873
Junior is the name
of some dumb-ass redneck
43
00:02:10,924 --> 00:02:12,892
who's going to be poor his whole life.
44
00:02:12,977 --> 00:02:16,429
So move your feet, Junior,
because I am a king
45
00:02:16,513 --> 00:02:18,931
and I'm about to hold court
on your backwoods ass.
46
00:02:25,072 --> 00:02:26,823
Excellent.
47
00:02:30,394 --> 00:02:33,196
So, Ray, it says here that you
48
00:02:33,247 --> 00:02:35,748
own the Prestige Escort Service.
49
00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:38,201
"We're so classy, it's stupid."
50
00:02:39,536 --> 00:02:41,737
Oh, my God. He's a pimp.
51
00:02:41,789 --> 00:02:45,008
Ooh. And what kind of curry-flavored
delight do we have here?
52
00:02:46,627 --> 00:02:48,544
You are spectacular.
53
00:02:48,595 --> 00:02:51,047
Hi. I'm Lacey.
54
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,252
So yet another rule I didn't think
I'd ever have to put on the books.
55
00:02:56,303 --> 00:02:58,021
No turning out hoes in group.
56
00:02:59,690 --> 00:03:01,891
She's not a hooker, she gives it away.
57
00:03:03,277 --> 00:03:06,479
Thank you, Ed... wait.
58
00:03:06,563 --> 00:03:09,598
So, Ray, it says here you had some
difficulties with your financial advisor.
59
00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:13,453
Right. Which I resolved
with a sternly written letter.
60
00:03:13,537 --> 00:03:15,455
I don't see what's wrong with that.
61
00:03:15,539 --> 00:03:18,825
Yeah, probably the part where you
made him eat it while you, quote,
62
00:03:18,909 --> 00:03:21,794
"beat him silly with the flagpole
from an elementary school."
63
00:03:23,247 --> 00:03:25,465
Yow.
64
00:03:25,549 --> 00:03:28,167
I do not feel good about that.
65
00:03:28,252 --> 00:03:30,586
I should never have
disrespected the flag.
66
00:03:32,673 --> 00:03:34,674
I remember elementary school.
67
00:03:36,677 --> 00:03:38,177
That's it.
68
00:03:38,262 --> 00:03:40,263
I'm just happy
when I remember some stuff.
69
00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,767
Well, the bitch-ass had it coming.
70
00:03:44,818 --> 00:03:46,152
He cooked the books like Betty Crocker
71
00:03:46,236 --> 00:03:48,071
and took every penny.
72
00:03:48,138 --> 00:03:50,690
But don't worry about your
bill, I will make it right.
73
00:03:52,993 --> 00:03:54,410
Excuse me.
74
00:03:54,478 --> 00:03:56,312
I've got to take this.
75
00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:01,117
Fine, I'll leave.
76
00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:05,621
Good afternoon. You've got Prestige.
77
00:04:05,672 --> 00:04:07,623
We're so classy, it's stupid.
78
00:04:09,009 --> 00:04:11,844
I don't like that guy.
79
00:04:11,929 --> 00:04:13,996
Who wants to vote him out?
80
00:04:14,047 --> 00:04:15,631
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
81
00:04:15,682 --> 00:04:17,517
We do not judge people.
82
00:04:17,601 --> 00:04:19,886
Everybody who comes here
for help is welcome.
83
00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:21,304
Here's another reason
why we don't vote...
84
00:04:21,355 --> 00:04:23,055
who wants Ed out?
85
00:04:24,942 --> 00:04:27,860
Does that mean I get to go get a beer?
86
00:04:27,945 --> 00:04:30,679
No... but if you're going
to the kitchen, I'll take one.
87
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:35,022
Anger Management 2x39
- Charlie and the Hooker -
Original air date October 24, 2013
88
00:04:35,047 --> 00:04:36,953
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
89
00:04:36,954 --> 00:04:39,739
Dude, I don't know what's
going on with me and women,
90
00:04:39,823 --> 00:04:41,657
but I wish I could bottle it
91
00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:43,709
'cause I swear, I just can't miss.
92
00:04:43,794 --> 00:04:47,330
And yet here you stand... alone.
93
00:04:48,882 --> 00:04:51,300
That's because I haven't tried yet.
94
00:04:51,368 --> 00:04:52,868
Watch. Watch this.
95
00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:57,706
You see that? You see what I'm doing?
96
00:04:57,758 --> 00:05:00,393
No, I don't.
97
00:05:00,477 --> 00:05:03,429
I got a whole new smolder.
98
00:05:03,514 --> 00:05:06,182
Yeah, I don't see anything different.
99
00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:07,650
That's 'cause you're a dude.
100
00:05:12,072 --> 00:05:13,940
That girl saw it. Ahem.
101
00:05:16,226 --> 00:05:17,944
Just going to reel this one in.
102
00:05:19,863 --> 00:05:22,365
- Hey.
- What's up?
103
00:05:22,416 --> 00:05:25,251
This is going to sound weird,
but are you Charlie Goodson?
104
00:05:25,335 --> 00:05:26,919
The baseball player?
105
00:05:27,004 --> 00:05:30,239
I used to be a baseball player,
but now I'm a therapist.
106
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,375
You want to get out of here?
107
00:05:32,426 --> 00:05:35,428
Sure. We should really
work on your shyness.
108
00:05:36,713 --> 00:05:38,130
I'm sorry...
109
00:05:38,215 --> 00:05:40,749
What... what just happened here?
110
00:05:40,801 --> 00:05:42,635
Wait, if you and I leave,
111
00:05:42,719 --> 00:05:44,470
then this guy has no way to get home.
112
00:05:46,223 --> 00:05:48,691
So... let's go.
113
00:05:52,646 --> 00:05:56,282
Okay, that is the first time
anybody's ever done that.
114
00:05:56,366 --> 00:05:59,619
At least in that sequence.
115
00:05:59,703 --> 00:06:02,738
Oh, yeah. We totally discovered that.
116
00:06:02,789 --> 00:06:06,292
We're like the Lewis and Clark of sex.
117
00:06:06,376 --> 00:06:09,996
We're like Admiral Byrd.
118
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,748
Yeah, except with a much
more fun race to the pole.
119
00:06:12,799 --> 00:06:15,251
Exactly.
120
00:06:15,302 --> 00:06:18,454
I like how I say things and you say things back.
When can I see you again?
121
00:06:18,505 --> 00:06:21,474
Yeah, about that.
122
00:06:21,558 --> 00:06:23,278
There's something
you need to know about me.
123
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:25,127
You're married?
124
00:06:25,178 --> 00:06:26,979
'Cause I got to be honest with you.
125
00:06:27,064 --> 00:06:29,432
At this point in my life,
I don't see wedding rings,
126
00:06:29,483 --> 00:06:31,234
I just see people.
127
00:06:31,301 --> 00:06:32,768
Not even close.
128
00:06:32,819 --> 00:06:34,237
You know Ray James?
129
00:06:34,304 --> 00:06:36,639
The first or the second?
130
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:38,741
I work for him.
131
00:06:38,808 --> 00:06:40,142
Please tell me it's the first.
132
00:06:40,193 --> 00:06:42,278
I'm pretty sure his dad was a plumber.
133
00:06:42,329 --> 00:06:44,113
He had a session with you,
134
00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:45,781
so in exchange,
135
00:06:45,832 --> 00:06:48,251
you got a session with me.
136
00:06:48,318 --> 00:06:49,869
You're an escort.
137
00:06:49,953 --> 00:06:51,871
So you didn't really
recognize me from baseball.
138
00:06:51,955 --> 00:06:55,124
I did recognize you from a
sports blooper on YouTube.
139
00:06:57,044 --> 00:06:59,762
Look, I was just supposed to
hit on you and close the deal.
140
00:06:59,829 --> 00:07:00,989
Ray didn't want you to say no.
141
00:07:00,997 --> 00:07:02,131
Are you upset?
142
00:07:02,182 --> 00:07:03,683
You know what?
143
00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:05,217
At this point in my life,
144
00:07:05,302 --> 00:07:08,304
I don't see escorts, I just see people.
145
00:07:08,355 --> 00:07:10,273
Great 'cause I'd like to see you again.
146
00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:12,058
All you got to do is call me.
147
00:07:14,311 --> 00:07:16,062
I mean... call my pimp.
148
00:07:22,153 --> 00:07:24,832
So what do you say we head over
to the Merry Peasant tonight?
149
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,414
I make a great wingman.
150
00:07:26,498 --> 00:07:28,883
I don't really need a wingman.
151
00:07:28,968 --> 00:07:31,419
I know, but I do.
152
00:07:33,205 --> 00:07:34,973
My solo game looks more like
153
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,759
lurking and loitering.
154
00:07:37,843 --> 00:07:40,428
One girl said I look menacing.
155
00:07:40,512 --> 00:07:43,381
What do you do? You just stand
in the shadows staring at them?
156
00:07:43,432 --> 00:07:44,882
Kind of.
157
00:07:46,819 --> 00:07:49,904
I thought it made me look
like a mysterious loner.
158
00:07:49,989 --> 00:07:53,358
Have you ever... in your entire life...
159
00:07:53,409 --> 00:07:55,777
ever heard the phrase "mysterious loner"
160
00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:58,413
used to describe someone that
161
00:07:58,497 --> 00:08:01,366
wasn't a serial killer or an assassin?
162
00:08:03,836 --> 00:08:05,620
What are you guys doing here?
163
00:08:05,704 --> 00:08:08,590
Neither one of us has a hoop at
our house, so we're using yours.
164
00:08:08,674 --> 00:08:11,009
So why are you eating my cereal?
165
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:13,911
Neither one of us had any cereal at
our house, so we're using yours.
166
00:08:16,131 --> 00:08:17,465
I got to go.
167
00:08:20,386 --> 00:08:24,022
- Hi, guys. - You know,
neither of us have girls at our house...
168
00:08:24,089 --> 00:08:25,273
No.
169
00:08:26,925 --> 00:08:28,610
Oh, I'm sorry.
170
00:08:28,694 --> 00:08:30,975
This is Sean from the bar last
night and my friend Michael.
171
00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:33,931
- I was actually there last night, too.
- You were?
172
00:08:33,983 --> 00:08:37,785
Yeah, I was sort of
lurking in the shadows.
173
00:08:37,870 --> 00:08:40,405
Yeah? You should stop that.
174
00:08:41,657 --> 00:08:44,075
Okay, so tomorrow night?
Basketball game?
175
00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:45,910
Is that a euphemism?
176
00:08:45,961 --> 00:08:47,712
No.
177
00:08:47,779 --> 00:08:50,381
Hockey game. That's a euphemism.
178
00:08:50,449 --> 00:08:52,550
I say we go to the hockey game first.
179
00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:56,721
Bye, sweetie. Give Ray a call, set it up.
180
00:08:56,788 --> 00:08:58,339
You got it.
181
00:09:02,478 --> 00:09:03,678
Who's Ray?
182
00:09:03,762 --> 00:09:06,397
Her pimp. Is there any cereal left?
183
00:09:06,465 --> 00:09:09,517
- You're sleeping with a hooker?
- Yeah, but I'm not paying.
184
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:14,022
Her pimp is in my group and he's paying
for my services with her services.
185
00:09:14,106 --> 00:09:15,639
Cool. Well, most of this is gone,
186
00:09:15,691 --> 00:09:17,942
but there's some granola
over there in the pantry.
187
00:09:17,993 --> 00:09:21,145
And I knew there was a reason
why she chose you over me.
188
00:09:21,196 --> 00:09:25,166
Wait a minute. Aren't we focused
on the wrong thing here?
189
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:27,201
You're sleeping with a hooker?!
190
00:09:27,286 --> 00:09:30,654
Okay, okay. First of all, she's not
a hooker. She's an escort.
191
00:09:30,706 --> 00:09:32,990
And second of all,
she's a really nice girl.
192
00:09:33,042 --> 00:09:35,203
It doesn't matter how nice she is.
She's still a hooker.
193
00:09:35,210 --> 00:09:37,762
Hey, hey. Just 'cause she
works in the sex industry
194
00:09:37,829 --> 00:09:40,348
doesn't mean that she wouldn't
be a good girlfriend.
195
00:09:40,432 --> 00:09:41,933
Would you date a hooker?
196
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,184
I was a hooker.
197
00:09:43,268 --> 00:09:45,669
And I was damn good at it,
198
00:09:45,721 --> 00:09:48,389
but I still deserve to be loved.
199
00:09:48,474 --> 00:09:50,108
You were a hooker?
200
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:53,394
Damn it! Why is everyone
so much cooler than me?
201
00:09:53,479 --> 00:09:54,696
Listen, pal.
202
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,364
How often do you run across a girl
203
00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:58,289
that you actually
want to hang out with, right?
204
00:09:58,317 --> 00:10:02,320
Now if she's one of them,
I say you go for it.
205
00:10:02,371 --> 00:10:05,873
You're right. I do want to
date her, so what the hell?
206
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:07,909
But I'm not paying every time I see her.
207
00:10:07,993 --> 00:10:11,079
The only way to keep dating her
is if her pimp stays in my group.
208
00:10:11,163 --> 00:10:12,580
So what's the problem with that?
209
00:10:12,664 --> 00:10:15,500
Well, it turns out
Lacey the testicle sniper,
210
00:10:15,551 --> 00:10:18,219
Ed the racist,
and Nolan the pothead stalker
211
00:10:18,303 --> 00:10:21,005
aren't comfortable with
having Ray the pimp around.
212
00:10:25,844 --> 00:10:28,563
Hey, guys. Thanks for coming in early.
213
00:10:28,647 --> 00:10:32,100
Now look, I know you'd like me
214
00:10:32,184 --> 00:10:34,218
to kick Ray out of the group,
215
00:10:34,269 --> 00:10:36,487
but I'd like you
to give him another chance.
216
00:10:36,555 --> 00:10:39,240
He makes me extremely uncomfortable.
217
00:10:39,324 --> 00:10:41,993
And usually I'm only very uncomfortable.
218
00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:45,196
Well, sure, but don't
think of him as a pimp.
219
00:10:45,247 --> 00:10:47,915
Think of him as a guy
220
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,451
who looks like a young Captain Crunch...
221
00:10:52,371 --> 00:10:54,455
with a ship full of prostitutes.
222
00:10:55,707 --> 00:10:57,425
But he's a jackass.
223
00:10:57,509 --> 00:10:59,377
I don't care if he's a pimp.
224
00:10:59,428 --> 00:11:00,911
Hell, my granddad was a pimp.
225
00:11:00,963 --> 00:11:03,631
He ran the Hump and Pump
outside of Baton Rouge.
226
00:11:05,768 --> 00:11:07,969
Is that a gas station with prostitutes?
227
00:11:08,053 --> 00:11:10,254
Yes, ma'am.
228
00:11:10,305 --> 00:11:14,058
Look, just because he's new
and looks a little different
229
00:11:14,109 --> 00:11:16,811
and threatened to bitch-slap
Nolan for making eye contact,
230
00:11:16,895 --> 00:11:19,597
you guys want to throw him out?
231
00:11:19,648 --> 00:11:22,066
- I'm very disappointed.
- God, why do you care so much?
232
00:11:22,117 --> 00:11:23,451
That guy is such a jerk.
233
00:11:23,535 --> 00:11:24,986
He's not even paying you.
234
00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:26,788
He is paying me.
235
00:11:26,872 --> 00:11:29,490
With...
236
00:11:29,575 --> 00:11:32,543
what is that feeling you get
when you help someone?
237
00:11:45,090 --> 00:11:47,458
I think... I think it begins with a S.
238
00:11:49,761 --> 00:11:52,230
Shame?
239
00:11:52,297 --> 00:11:54,065
Is it shame?
240
00:11:55,984 --> 00:11:59,103
No, but whatever it is, that's
what I'm getting out of this.
241
00:12:01,023 --> 00:12:04,141
Look, I know he made
a bad first impression,
242
00:12:04,193 --> 00:12:06,661
but I'm sure this time,
he'll be on his best behavior.
243
00:12:13,168 --> 00:12:15,169
These two Nazi dogs
will make sure of it.
244
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:22,340
Sorry, I brought the dogs.
They ate something bad.
245
00:12:22,379 --> 00:12:25,681
I didn't want them
to go dookie in my house.
246
00:12:25,748 --> 00:12:27,716
That's very considerate of you.
247
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:30,185
It's not a problem.
Now about the animals...
248
00:12:30,253 --> 00:12:32,304
do not look directly at the dogs,
249
00:12:32,389 --> 00:12:34,556
don't make any sudden movements near me
250
00:12:34,607 --> 00:12:36,892
or around me which may startle the dogs.
251
00:12:36,943 --> 00:12:40,729
Other than that,
let's have a great session.
252
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:43,365
Any reason we can't
just tie them up outside?
253
00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:45,451
Joggers.
254
00:12:45,535 --> 00:12:48,287
All right, well, then let's get started.
255
00:12:48,371 --> 00:12:49,621
Oh, I just remembered.
256
00:12:49,706 --> 00:12:51,373
These dogs are trained to kill.
257
00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:54,326
There is a trigger word
which you may never use.
258
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,718
Are you going to tell us what it is?
259
00:13:02,785 --> 00:13:05,754
I forgot.
260
00:13:05,805 --> 00:13:09,007
However, I do remember
it's got two syllables.
261
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:12,344
So we safe
262
00:13:12,429 --> 00:13:15,013
if just use
263
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:18,150
short words?
264
00:13:18,234 --> 00:13:20,069
Sure.
265
00:13:20,136 --> 00:13:23,655
I no like make waves...
266
00:13:25,608 --> 00:13:28,977
but bad man wreck thing.
267
00:13:31,498 --> 00:13:34,083
Hey, Chuck, we had 'nough.
268
00:13:34,150 --> 00:13:36,418
We be here first.
269
00:13:36,486 --> 00:13:37,652
He go.
270
00:13:39,005 --> 00:13:41,590
You know you can say goes.
271
00:13:41,657 --> 00:13:43,492
This suck.
272
00:13:45,161 --> 00:13:46,628
Sucks.
273
00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:48,464
That's it.
274
00:13:48,515 --> 00:13:52,301
We leave, no come backs.
275
00:13:52,352 --> 00:13:54,937
Guys, this is ridiculous.
276
00:13:55,004 --> 00:13:59,525
- The dogs won't attack.
- Ah, that's the word. "Attack."
277
00:13:59,609 --> 00:14:01,527
That's the code word?
278
00:14:01,611 --> 00:14:03,979
I forgot we changed it.
It used to be cranberries,
279
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:05,948
but there was an incident
last Thanksgiving.
280
00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:13,822
Come on, you know the rules.
281
00:14:13,873 --> 00:14:15,791
Every time one of the
ballplayers adjust themselves,
282
00:14:15,858 --> 00:14:19,545
- we take a drink. - Charlie,
I've had three beers in 15 minutes.
283
00:14:19,629 --> 00:14:23,198
I have never seen guys
pull at their crotch so much.
284
00:14:23,249 --> 00:14:25,167
All right, I admit, I kind of cheated.
285
00:14:25,218 --> 00:14:28,387
I checked the weather in Cincinnati,
I knew it was going to be humid.
286
00:14:28,471 --> 00:14:32,174
Listen, I wanted to
talk to you about Ray.
287
00:14:32,225 --> 00:14:35,644
- What about him? - I'm going
to have to kick him out of my group.
288
00:14:35,711 --> 00:14:37,312
The problem is once he's out,
289
00:14:37,380 --> 00:14:39,314
you and I are going to have
to stop seeing each other.
290
00:14:39,382 --> 00:14:42,234
Damn, this sucks.
291
00:14:42,318 --> 00:14:44,186
I've been thinking a lot about your job,
292
00:14:44,237 --> 00:14:46,071
which is why I wanted you to meet Brett.
293
00:14:46,156 --> 00:14:47,823
- Brett, this is Sasha.
- Hey.
294
00:14:47,890 --> 00:14:49,358
You both worked in the same field.
295
00:14:49,409 --> 00:14:51,210
You're kidding.
You worked in a slaughterhouse
296
00:14:51,227 --> 00:14:53,162
killing cows with an electric bolt gun?
297
00:14:55,064 --> 00:14:56,398
No, no, no, no.
298
00:14:56,449 --> 00:14:59,201
She works in the private
entertainment industry.
299
00:14:59,252 --> 00:15:02,404
- Charlie!
- It's okay, hon. I used to be a madam.
300
00:15:02,455 --> 00:15:06,208
No offense, but how did you end up here?
301
00:15:06,259 --> 00:15:08,427
Well, I did pretty good
for a couple years,
302
00:15:08,511 --> 00:15:10,462
then I bought an ostrich farm.
303
00:15:10,547 --> 00:15:12,848
I thought it was going
to be the new steak.
304
00:15:12,915 --> 00:15:15,634
It's not.
305
00:15:15,718 --> 00:15:18,253
Tell her what you think
she should do with her pimp.
306
00:15:18,304 --> 00:15:20,922
Lose him. You're the one
doing all the work,
307
00:15:20,974 --> 00:15:23,642
he's making all the money until a
younger, prettier girl comes in
308
00:15:23,726 --> 00:15:25,394
and he kicks you out and there you are,
309
00:15:25,445 --> 00:15:26,761
walking the streets.
310
00:15:26,813 --> 00:15:28,814
Yeah, I know.
311
00:15:28,898 --> 00:15:30,866
I always think about that.
312
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:32,734
Well, then just do it. Lose the guy.
313
00:15:32,785 --> 00:15:35,237
Just like that?
314
00:15:35,288 --> 00:15:37,906
Yes. There's a million
other things you could do.
315
00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:39,658
Then you can date whoever you want.
316
00:15:39,742 --> 00:15:41,743
I mean, I might have to
start charging you,
317
00:15:41,794 --> 00:15:44,463
but we'll talk about that later.
318
00:15:44,547 --> 00:15:46,882
Okay.
319
00:15:46,949 --> 00:15:48,000
Okay, what?
320
00:15:48,084 --> 00:15:49,718
I'm going to do it.
321
00:15:49,785 --> 00:15:51,470
That's awesome.
322
00:15:51,554 --> 00:15:53,472
Let's get a table,
323
00:15:53,556 --> 00:15:55,757
order a couple of ostrich steaks,
324
00:15:55,808 --> 00:15:58,460
send them back because they suck,
and then go home and celebrate.
325
00:15:58,511 --> 00:16:00,145
I would love to, but I'm going to go.
326
00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:02,180
I got to do it now
before I lose my nerve.
327
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,149
I'll call you later? And not Ray, you.
328
00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:13,609
Hey, uh, you've got your affairs
in order, right, Charlie?
329
00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:17,279
Like, you know, funeral arrangements,
headstone, plot of land.
330
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:19,114
Why?
331
00:16:19,165 --> 00:16:22,701
'Cause this pimp's going to kill you.
332
00:16:22,785 --> 00:16:24,620
What are you talking about?
333
00:16:24,671 --> 00:16:26,288
It just occurred to me.
334
00:16:26,339 --> 00:16:28,156
Every time a girl would leave the life,
335
00:16:28,207 --> 00:16:31,326
it always had something to do
with the last guy she was with.
336
00:16:31,377 --> 00:16:33,345
Oh.
337
00:16:33,429 --> 00:16:35,869
Well, let's keep our fingers
crossed that the girl that I like
338
00:16:35,932 --> 00:16:37,797
had sex with somebody after me.
339
00:16:48,536 --> 00:16:51,404
Oh, crap.
340
00:16:51,455 --> 00:16:53,623
Hey, Ray, what's up?
341
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,458
Let me in. I got to talk to you.
342
00:16:55,543 --> 00:16:57,344
About what?
343
00:16:57,411 --> 00:17:00,881
Something I'm angry about.
344
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,799
Yeah, I don't really do that anymore.
345
00:17:02,884 --> 00:17:04,551
I just deal with phobias now.
346
00:17:04,602 --> 00:17:07,387
I'm afraid I'm going to kill someone.
347
00:17:07,438 --> 00:17:10,140
That's a phobia, right?
348
00:17:10,224 --> 00:17:12,642
Well, technically, no.
349
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,611
What's in the bag, Ray?
350
00:17:14,695 --> 00:17:16,947
All my guns.
351
00:17:17,031 --> 00:17:18,949
So a bag of guns, you say.
352
00:17:20,785 --> 00:17:22,435
All right, good to see you.
Thanks for stopping by.
353
00:17:22,486 --> 00:17:24,938
Come on, man!
354
00:17:24,989 --> 00:17:26,790
You're my therapist.
355
00:17:26,874 --> 00:17:29,159
You're the only guy I trust
to hold these for me.
356
00:17:40,338 --> 00:17:41,621
Give me the guns, Ray.
357
00:17:41,672 --> 00:17:44,057
She's gone, man.
358
00:17:44,124 --> 00:17:45,959
The bitch is gone.
359
00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:47,460
Sorry to hear that.
360
00:17:47,511 --> 00:17:49,012
Give me the guns, Ray.
361
00:17:49,096 --> 00:17:51,181
You don't even know
who I'm talking about.
362
00:17:51,265 --> 00:17:54,265
You're right, I don't, but as a therapist,
I know that when a bitch is gone,
363
00:17:54,301 --> 00:17:56,102
it's a good time to breathe
364
00:17:56,153 --> 00:17:58,021
and hand over your bag of guns.
365
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:00,941
It's Sasha, man.
366
00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:05,445
Did she say anything
to you about leaving?
367
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,532
Only after every time we had sex.
368
00:18:09,617 --> 00:18:11,017
She'd say, "Good-bye, I'm leaving."
369
00:18:11,085 --> 00:18:13,253
That's the only leaving
I ever heard about.
370
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,706
She quit, Charlie. My biggest earner.
371
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,709
It's going to cost me
tens of thousands of dollars.
372
00:18:19,794 --> 00:18:21,494
Okay, look, I know that's got to hurt,
373
00:18:21,545 --> 00:18:24,097
but maybe it was just time
for her to leave the life.
374
00:18:24,164 --> 00:18:26,499
"Leave the life"?
375
00:18:26,550 --> 00:18:29,052
She took three of my other girls and
moved across the country somewhere
376
00:18:29,136 --> 00:18:31,004
to start her own damn escort service.
377
00:18:31,055 --> 00:18:33,840
The bitch did what?!
378
00:18:33,891 --> 00:18:36,059
Yeah. Right?
379
00:18:36,143 --> 00:18:39,012
She just up and she left.
380
00:18:39,063 --> 00:18:41,948
- So... no good-bye?
- Nope.
381
00:18:42,016 --> 00:18:45,618
Not even a thanks for all the good
times, the best sex I ever had?
382
00:18:45,686 --> 00:18:47,487
Nope... what?
383
00:18:47,538 --> 00:18:49,355
Can I have that bag of guns now?
384
00:18:51,158 --> 00:18:53,576
You know, Charlie,
you're a good therapist.
385
00:18:53,661 --> 00:18:56,212
It's like you can feel
what I'm feeling right now.
386
00:18:56,297 --> 00:18:59,132
Oh, I can feel it.
387
00:18:59,199 --> 00:19:01,835
Would you be offended if I
wanted to sit on your couch
388
00:19:01,886 --> 00:19:04,054
for a couple of hours
and just get drunk?
389
00:19:04,138 --> 00:19:05,972
Would you be offended if I joined you?
390
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,807
Hell, no.
391
00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:10,593
Want to shoot some guns in the backyard?
392
00:19:10,678 --> 00:19:13,063
Sure, but only if we're drunk.
393
00:19:13,147 --> 00:19:14,514
And never in anger.
394
00:19:17,401 --> 00:19:19,936
I found some gay cookies,
some gay pretzels,
395
00:19:20,021 --> 00:19:21,438
some gay soda pop,
396
00:19:21,522 --> 00:19:24,891
and some Lorna Doones.
397
00:19:24,942 --> 00:19:26,559
The gay on that one's implied.
398
00:19:28,245 --> 00:19:29,946
Okay, since we're boycotting Charlie,
399
00:19:30,031 --> 00:19:31,781
I guess I'll just be the therapist.
400
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,733
Why do you always
get to be the therapist?
401
00:19:33,784 --> 00:19:36,086
Because I've made the most
progress with my anger!
402
00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:38,404
God, what a stupid question.
403
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,128
Ed, last week we were talking about
404
00:19:45,212 --> 00:19:46,930
how your dog died when you were a child.
405
00:19:47,014 --> 00:19:49,632
I would diagnose your anger problems
406
00:19:49,717 --> 00:19:52,752
as having to do with
all kinds of childhood things,
407
00:19:52,803 --> 00:19:55,438
and also feelings.
408
00:19:55,523 --> 00:19:57,974
Okay, now it's my turn
to be a therapist.
409
00:20:00,227 --> 00:20:03,563
Nolan, is there something you
want to share with the group?
410
00:20:03,614 --> 00:20:05,482
No, I don't think I can talk about that.
411
00:20:07,401 --> 00:20:10,620
It's okay. This is a safe place.
412
00:20:10,704 --> 00:20:12,238
All right, sometimes I talk to myself.
413
00:20:12,289 --> 00:20:14,991
Is that what you want me to say?
414
00:20:15,076 --> 00:20:17,210
No, that's what you needed to hear.
415
00:20:20,047 --> 00:20:22,949
Boy, you need an awful lot of help.
416
00:20:28,756 --> 00:20:30,507
I thought I might find you guys here.
417
00:20:32,593 --> 00:20:34,227
We don't need you.
418
00:20:34,294 --> 00:20:36,796
We're having our own session
with awesome food
419
00:20:36,847 --> 00:20:38,798
and heart-wrenching breakthroughs
420
00:20:38,849 --> 00:20:41,317
and nothing barking
and slobbering at us.
421
00:20:41,402 --> 00:20:42,769
If you don't count Ed.
422
00:20:45,106 --> 00:20:46,656
Well, don't worry. The
dogs won't be coming back.
423
00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:49,025
I found Ray a new therapist
424
00:20:49,110 --> 00:20:51,327
and I dropped the hooker.
425
00:20:51,412 --> 00:20:53,852
That's how important you guys are to me.
I dropped the hooker.
426
00:20:56,584 --> 00:20:58,668
The one I never told you about.
427
00:20:58,752 --> 00:21:00,003
So forget about that.
428
00:21:01,989 --> 00:21:03,456
We don't need you anymore, Charlie.
429
00:21:03,507 --> 00:21:05,708
We've found that we can help each other.
430
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:09,429
All right, everyone who
believes that, stay here.
431
00:21:09,496 --> 00:21:11,998
Everyone else,
follow me back to my place.
432
00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:24,272
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com