1
00:00:01,624 --> 00:00:04,140
Thanks for inviting me to your
Super Bowl party, Charlie.
2
00:00:04,164 --> 00:00:06,732
I haven't been to one of these since...
3
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,801
last year around this time.
4
00:00:10,381 --> 00:00:12,781
I remember having this
conversation about a year ago.
5
00:00:12,806 --> 00:00:15,541
And I'm thinking we're
gonna have it again in...
6
00:00:15,609 --> 00:00:16,976
about a year.
7
00:00:17,044 --> 00:00:19,779
I hope so.
8
00:00:19,847 --> 00:00:21,848
Come on, 35!
9
00:00:21,915 --> 00:00:23,816
- No!
- Go! Go! Go!
10
00:00:23,884 --> 00:00:25,184
- No! No! No!
- Come on! Come on!
11
00:00:25,252 --> 00:00:29,021
- No!
- All right! Yeah!
12
00:00:29,089 --> 00:00:31,691
See, I told you the new Camry
got over 35 miles a gallon.
13
00:00:31,758 --> 00:00:34,093
Pay up, Lacey.
14
00:00:34,161 --> 00:00:37,463
Charlie, do we really have to pay
up on bets about commercials?
15
00:00:37,531 --> 00:00:40,433
Yes. This is a great time to learn
how to lose without getting angry.
16
00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:43,369
- Ugh. - So don't get angry,
but give me my 20 bucks.
17
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,341
Hey, everybody.
18
00:00:48,408 --> 00:00:51,477
This is my friend Molly from Iowa.
19
00:00:51,545 --> 00:00:54,480
Molly, this is my anger
management group.
20
00:00:54,548 --> 00:00:57,083
- Hi.
- Yes, I win!
21
00:00:58,485 --> 00:01:00,253
What? What'd you bet?
22
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,156
I don't know. I lost track.
23
00:01:04,224 --> 00:01:06,905
- I'm gonna go get us something to drink.
- Okay.
24
00:01:08,273 --> 00:01:11,073
- Hi, Molly. I'm Charlie.
- Hi, Charlie.
25
00:01:11,098 --> 00:01:13,733
Hi. There's pizza and beer
and don't be surprised
26
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,802
if you say something and
everyone exchanges money.
27
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,471
Oh, is that an LA thing?
28
00:01:18,539 --> 00:01:20,579
No, it's a crazy person thing.
29
00:01:21,375 --> 00:01:23,209
Are you being nice, Charlie?
30
00:01:23,277 --> 00:01:25,144
It's Molly's first time in LA.
31
00:01:25,212 --> 00:01:26,345
Yeah, and it's really cool.
32
00:01:26,413 --> 00:01:27,914
There are famous people everywhere.
33
00:01:27,981 --> 00:01:30,262
We saw Jay-Z waiting at baggage claim.
34
00:01:32,953 --> 00:01:35,433
Oh, and we saw Chris Kattan
working at a Radio Shack.
35
00:01:39,192 --> 00:01:41,794
Hey, Charlie. You got any beer?
36
00:01:41,862 --> 00:01:44,302
Ed, there's a bucket full
right in front of you.
37
00:01:44,331 --> 00:01:47,567
That's all Mexican beer. You know
what their water is like down there.
38
00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:50,069
I'd rather drink beer
39
00:01:50,137 --> 00:01:53,906
made from the Shamu tank at Sea World.
40
00:01:53,974 --> 00:01:56,735
Shamu beer coming right up. Excuse me.
41
00:01:59,079 --> 00:02:00,846
Hi, I'm Sean.
42
00:02:00,914 --> 00:02:04,317
I'm not from here, either.
43
00:02:04,384 --> 00:02:05,785
I'm from next door.
44
00:02:05,852 --> 00:02:08,354
Hello, Sean from next door.
45
00:02:08,422 --> 00:02:10,156
Just so you know,
46
00:02:10,223 --> 00:02:12,892
I am crazy mysterious.
47
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,161
Well, what makes you mysterious?
48
00:02:22,336 --> 00:02:25,304
Dude, Molly, pfft. Wow.
49
00:02:25,372 --> 00:02:27,139
I know. I know. She's got that whole
50
00:02:27,207 --> 00:02:29,909
farm-fresh Iowa thing going on.
51
00:02:29,977 --> 00:02:32,712
Not that we're betting
on it or anything,
52
00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:34,080
but would you guys let us know
53
00:02:34,147 --> 00:02:36,415
which one of you sleeps
with that girl first?
54
00:02:36,483 --> 00:02:38,651
That's not gonna happen.
55
00:02:38,719 --> 00:02:40,252
Come on, she's Patrick's friend.
56
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,721
Yeah, but could you let us know?
57
00:02:41,788 --> 00:02:44,323
We got 20 bucks on it.
58
00:02:44,391 --> 00:02:47,627
That's appalling and degrading
to everyone involved.
59
00:02:47,694 --> 00:02:50,129
And obviously it would be me.
60
00:02:51,298 --> 00:02:53,032
Listen, little man,
61
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,067
when I turn on the charm,
62
00:02:55,135 --> 00:02:57,169
this contest is over
in, like, two seconds.
63
00:02:57,237 --> 00:03:00,039
First, "little man," that's not cool.
64
00:03:01,642 --> 00:03:05,444
And second, Molly was
giving me the vibe.
65
00:03:05,512 --> 00:03:09,649
I think you're confusing
the vibe with the pity.
66
00:03:09,716 --> 00:03:13,619
Well, I have a 50-year-old bottle
of single malt that says otherwise.
67
00:03:13,687 --> 00:03:15,821
You're on.
68
00:03:15,889 --> 00:03:17,690
I think Charlie's got this.
69
00:03:17,758 --> 00:03:20,826
I don't know. Little man's got spunk.
70
00:03:22,763 --> 00:03:25,083
I can hear you. I'm right here.
71
00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:29,776
Anger Management 2x50
- Charlie and Sean Fight Over a Girl -
Original air date February 27, 2014
72
00:03:29,936 --> 00:03:31,671
All right, the bet is
73
00:03:31,738 --> 00:03:35,474
can Patrick make Ed cry in 20 seconds?
74
00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:38,244
On your marks, get set, go!
75
00:03:38,311 --> 00:03:41,180
♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪
76
00:03:41,248 --> 00:03:46,052
♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling ♪
77
00:03:46,119 --> 00:03:49,221
♪ From glen to glen ♪
78
00:03:49,289 --> 00:03:55,661
♪ And down the mountainside ♪
79
00:03:55,729 --> 00:03:58,230
♪ The summer's gone ♪
80
00:03:58,298 --> 00:04:03,035
♪ And all the roses falling ♪
81
00:04:03,103 --> 00:04:07,273
♪ 'Tis you, 'tis you ♪
82
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:10,910
♪ Must go and I must bide. ♪
83
00:04:12,345 --> 00:04:14,580
By 2043,
84
00:04:14,648 --> 00:04:17,483
whites will be the minority.
85
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,388
Damn you.
86
00:04:22,456 --> 00:04:24,924
That gets me every time.
87
00:04:29,629 --> 00:04:32,631
Patrick, you have a beautiful voice.
88
00:04:32,699 --> 00:04:34,867
I know. Can you believe it?
89
00:04:36,036 --> 00:04:37,336
Were you trained?
90
00:04:37,404 --> 00:04:40,206
No, my mother just withheld
food and affection
91
00:04:40,273 --> 00:04:42,341
till I hit all the right notes.
92
00:04:42,409 --> 00:04:45,177
Well, I agreed to participate
93
00:04:45,245 --> 00:04:47,125
in the Alcoholics Anonymous talent show.
94
00:04:47,147 --> 00:04:49,267
And you want me to come.
Is there a two-drink minimum?
95
00:04:49,282 --> 00:04:52,318
I kid, of course.
96
00:04:52,385 --> 00:04:54,587
I want you to sing with me.
97
00:04:54,654 --> 00:04:56,155
You don't have to do much,
just back me up.
98
00:04:56,223 --> 00:04:58,290
I don't know.
99
00:04:58,358 --> 00:05:00,926
Please, Patrick. I don't
want to be up there alone.
100
00:05:00,994 --> 00:05:03,996
This will be my first
sober performance in...
101
00:05:04,064 --> 00:05:08,200
well, I've been performing
drunk since I was 12.
102
00:05:08,268 --> 00:05:10,348
I appreciate you asking me,
103
00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:12,938
but I don't know about performing.
104
00:05:13,006 --> 00:05:15,407
I have a very fragile ego and... okay.
105
00:05:16,755 --> 00:05:20,155
So, Molly. How long you in town for?
106
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,214
Yeah, how long?
107
00:05:22,282 --> 00:05:25,484
Through Tuesday. Through Tuesday.
108
00:05:25,552 --> 00:05:27,419
Patrick's letting me stay at his place,
109
00:05:27,487 --> 00:05:29,522
but I promised I wouldn't drag him
around to all the touristy things.
110
00:05:29,589 --> 00:05:31,891
Hey, you can drag me around.
111
00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:34,293
Charlie, I just got
a text from the neighbors.
112
00:05:34,361 --> 00:05:35,928
Your dad just passed out
on the front lawn.
113
00:05:35,996 --> 00:05:37,876
- Oh, my God.
- I'm sure they're mistaken.
114
00:05:37,931 --> 00:05:39,632
It happens all the time.
115
00:05:39,699 --> 00:05:42,468
There are parts of my lawn that
look just like an old man.
116
00:05:42,536 --> 00:05:44,503
Wow.
117
00:05:44,571 --> 00:05:46,572
Can you believe he's not gonna check
and make sure his dad's okay?
118
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,307
What does that say about this guy?
119
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,176
Damn you.
120
00:05:51,778 --> 00:05:53,913
So what are you doing tomorrow?
121
00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:56,248
Actually, I was lucky
enough to score two tickets
122
00:05:56,316 --> 00:05:58,017
to the Taste of the Congo
at Griffith Park.
123
00:05:58,084 --> 00:06:00,085
I've been dying to go to that.
124
00:06:00,153 --> 00:06:02,755
I love the Congo.
125
00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:03,956
Do you want to go with me?
126
00:06:04,024 --> 00:06:07,059
Yes, I'd love to.
127
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:08,994
False alarm. Not my dad.
128
00:06:09,062 --> 00:06:11,263
Just a pile of leaves. Told you.
129
00:06:11,331 --> 00:06:13,465
Guess what Molly
and I are doing tomorrow.
130
00:06:13,533 --> 00:06:16,068
Going to Taste of the Congo.
131
00:06:16,136 --> 00:06:18,337
Mm-hmm. He loves the Congo.
132
00:06:18,405 --> 00:06:19,738
Oh, I know. I know.
133
00:06:19,806 --> 00:06:21,807
Sean, tell me something about the Congo.
134
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:23,776
Anything.
135
00:06:23,844 --> 00:06:26,779
I can sum it up in one word... delicious.
136
00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:29,615
We are gonna have so much fun tomorrow.
137
00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:32,123
- Aren't we, Molly?
- Yeah, I wish you could go, too, Charlie.
138
00:06:32,185 --> 00:06:33,552
But I only have two tickets.
139
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,888
We're really gonna miss you.
140
00:06:41,094 --> 00:06:43,395
Looks like this bet's over
before it even started.
141
00:06:43,463 --> 00:06:46,165
Oh, it is far from over.
142
00:06:46,233 --> 00:06:49,633
Now, if you'll excuse me, my dad really
is passed out on the front lawn.
143
00:06:52,626 --> 00:06:55,762
How lucky are we that you were
driving by Taste of the Congo
144
00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:57,530
right when we realized
we had a flat tire?
145
00:06:58,966 --> 00:07:00,867
I know. What a coincidence.
146
00:07:00,935 --> 00:07:03,269
I was in the neighborhood visiting a
buddy who has a gambling problem.
147
00:07:03,337 --> 00:07:06,606
He makes bets he has
no chance of winning.
148
00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:09,142
Boy, how about that tire, huh?
What are the chances
149
00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:12,445
that I'd run over four nails
all at the same time?
150
00:07:12,513 --> 00:07:16,049
It's almost as if
someone hammered them in.
151
00:07:16,117 --> 00:07:18,418
Maybe you should pay closer
attention to the road.
152
00:07:18,486 --> 00:07:20,987
You know, you don't have to text
prostitutes back right away.
153
00:07:21,055 --> 00:07:23,857
They'll wait.
154
00:07:23,924 --> 00:07:25,358
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
155
00:07:25,426 --> 00:07:27,627
He can't afford prostitutes.
156
00:07:29,196 --> 00:07:31,798
So, how was the food?
157
00:07:31,866 --> 00:07:33,800
Oh, I'm a vegetarian.
158
00:07:33,868 --> 00:07:35,768
But this guy went a little crazy.
159
00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:37,997
Can't believe how much
gazelle stew he put away.
160
00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:41,584
Seriously, you're driving
like my grandmother.
161
00:07:41,609 --> 00:07:42,976
Could you hurry up a little bit?
162
00:07:43,043 --> 00:07:46,513
You're sweating back there.
What's the matter?
163
00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:49,249
Someone taste a little
too much of the Congo?
164
00:07:50,484 --> 00:07:52,852
Cast-iron stomach,
165
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,155
Charlie, okay?
166
00:07:55,222 --> 00:07:57,290
Seriously, though,
could you turn on the AC
167
00:07:57,358 --> 00:07:59,626
or crack a window or something?
168
00:07:59,693 --> 00:08:02,028
I heard gazelle moves
through you as fast as,
169
00:08:02,096 --> 00:08:04,898
well, you know, a gazelle.
170
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:08,277
Look, could you pull over
if you see a restroom?
171
00:08:08,302 --> 00:08:10,603
Why?
172
00:08:10,671 --> 00:08:12,939
I'd like to wash my hands, okay?
173
00:08:13,007 --> 00:08:15,208
Oh, yeah, they must be covered in grease
174
00:08:15,276 --> 00:08:17,277
from the dung beetle poppers.
175
00:08:17,344 --> 00:08:19,179
That's it.
176
00:08:19,246 --> 00:08:22,048
That was a gas station.
That was a gas station.
177
00:08:22,116 --> 00:08:23,783
Oh, oh, oh.
178
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:26,419
I'd pull over, but I saw it too late.
179
00:08:26,487 --> 00:08:29,222
And I'd turn around,
but I'm going that way.
180
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:31,257
Pull over.
181
00:08:31,325 --> 00:08:33,893
- Pull over.
- What?
182
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:36,202
- Could you pull over, please?
- Fine.
183
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,402
Oh, I feel really bad for him.
184
00:08:42,469 --> 00:08:45,038
I think he ate some of that
exotic stuff just to show off.
185
00:08:45,105 --> 00:08:48,741
Well, he's very insecure
and somewhat sickly.
186
00:08:48,809 --> 00:08:50,743
It's kind of sad.
187
00:08:50,811 --> 00:08:52,912
But enough about him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
188
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:55,081
Um, what do you have in mind?
189
00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:56,716
There's a cool little spot
I'd like to take you to.
190
00:08:56,784 --> 00:08:59,686
It's where all the movie stars
had their great love affairs.
191
00:08:59,753 --> 00:09:01,454
Oh, my God. That sounds amazing.
192
00:09:01,522 --> 00:09:04,157
Well, great. Great. But don't tell Sean.
193
00:09:04,225 --> 00:09:06,059
He'll be sick for a few days
194
00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:08,428
and he'll have a tantrum if he
feels like he's missing something.
195
00:09:08,495 --> 00:09:11,598
You do not want to see
this guy pull his wig off.
196
00:09:11,665 --> 00:09:15,068
That's so nice of you.
You're such a good friend.
197
00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:17,570
Well, thanks.
198
00:09:17,638 --> 00:09:20,173
Ooh, okay.
199
00:09:20,241 --> 00:09:24,177
Sorry. I am ready to go.
200
00:09:24,245 --> 00:09:26,079
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
201
00:09:28,015 --> 00:09:30,683
I'm thinking we could
do a duet from "Wicked."
202
00:09:30,751 --> 00:09:33,032
Or maybe Gershwin. Do you like Gershwin?
203
00:09:33,087 --> 00:09:37,223
I was thinking we could
do an original Denby.
204
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,692
Oh, you wrote a song.
205
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,027
Straight from the heart.
206
00:09:41,095 --> 00:09:43,175
Those are always the best ones.
207
00:09:44,832 --> 00:09:48,501
Oh, and now you're putting on a guitar.
208
00:09:48,569 --> 00:09:50,403
So I guess I'm gonna hear it.
209
00:09:50,471 --> 00:09:53,973
It's called "Jose Mi Amor."
210
00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:56,809
Oh, so it's sort of a Spanish...
211
00:09:56,877 --> 00:09:59,178
♪ I've had Jose in my bed ♪
212
00:10:01,215 --> 00:10:03,316
♪ I've had Jose in my car ♪
213
00:10:05,419 --> 00:10:08,821
♪ I've had Jose in the woods ♪
214
00:10:08,889 --> 00:10:14,427
♪ And underneath the stars ♪
215
00:10:14,495 --> 00:10:17,130
♪ I've had Jose in my mouth ♪
216
00:10:17,197 --> 00:10:19,966
♪ Jose on my face ♪
217
00:10:20,034 --> 00:10:21,901
♪ Woke up with Jose ♪
218
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:25,938
♪ All over the place ♪
219
00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:29,242
♪ Jose Cuervo... ♪
220
00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:30,977
Oh, thank God.
221
00:10:31,045 --> 00:10:35,281
♪ Jose Cuervo ♪
222
00:10:35,349 --> 00:10:39,085
♪ I drank too much ♪
223
00:10:39,153 --> 00:10:44,157
♪ Jose Cuervo. ♪
224
00:10:44,224 --> 00:10:45,692
So what do you think?
225
00:10:45,759 --> 00:10:48,628
What should we do?
226
00:10:48,696 --> 00:10:51,230
Look, Patrick, I know
that it's a little intense,
227
00:10:51,298 --> 00:10:53,099
but if you were an alcoholic,
you would understand.
228
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:54,400
Jordan, if I have to hear that again,
229
00:10:54,468 --> 00:10:57,170
I'm gonna become an alcoholic.
230
00:10:57,237 --> 00:10:59,277
I need you onstage.
Are you in or you out?
231
00:11:00,307 --> 00:11:02,542
- I'm in.
- Thanks.
232
00:11:02,609 --> 00:11:04,877
- Okay, let's give it a try.
- Great.
233
00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:08,281
Where are you going?
234
00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:10,850
I just want to hear
what it sounds like from...
235
00:11:14,521 --> 00:11:16,989
Oh, God, I love old Hollywood stories.
236
00:11:17,057 --> 00:11:19,125
Oh, yeah? Well, that table
237
00:11:19,193 --> 00:11:21,793
is where Richard Burton proposed
to Liz Taylor for the first time.
238
00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:24,597
And that table was the second time.
239
00:11:24,665 --> 00:11:26,833
This table was the third.
240
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:29,235
God, they had so much passion.
241
00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:31,343
Do you know once they stayed
here for an entire week
242
00:11:31,372 --> 00:11:32,973
in bungalow five
and never left the room?
243
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,241
I'd love to see the inside of that room.
244
00:11:35,309 --> 00:11:36,542
How funny.
245
00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:38,911
I happen to have the key right here.
246
00:11:38,979 --> 00:11:41,447
I thought we could go there
for some dessert and champagne
247
00:11:41,515 --> 00:11:42,849
and sit on the patio.
248
00:11:42,916 --> 00:11:44,751
- Sounds like fun.
- Excellent.
249
00:11:46,153 --> 00:11:49,655
Hey, guys.
250
00:11:49,723 --> 00:11:52,692
- Sean.
- What are you doing in this cheesy dump?
251
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,694
The only people who come here
252
00:11:54,762 --> 00:11:57,897
are old people that want a
Cobb salad before they die.
253
00:11:57,965 --> 00:12:00,533
Then what are you doing here?
254
00:12:00,601 --> 00:12:02,762
Picking up a Cobb salad
for my great-aunt Jane.
255
00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:04,804
She's on life support.
256
00:12:04,872 --> 00:12:07,073
Oh, text message.
257
00:12:07,141 --> 00:12:09,208
Uh-oh.
258
00:12:09,276 --> 00:12:11,477
Guess I'm free for the day.
259
00:12:11,545 --> 00:12:13,846
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
260
00:12:13,914 --> 00:12:15,982
Thank you.
261
00:12:16,049 --> 00:12:17,489
Why don't you spend the day with us?
262
00:12:17,518 --> 00:12:18,918
We can get out of here and see the city.
263
00:12:18,986 --> 00:12:20,486
It'll take your mind off your aunt.
264
00:12:20,554 --> 00:12:23,122
That would probably
be really good for me.
265
00:12:23,190 --> 00:12:24,857
I mean, I don't want to...
266
00:12:24,925 --> 00:12:27,093
is that okay with you, Charlie?
I don't want to impose.
267
00:12:27,161 --> 00:12:29,462
Of course it's okay. Come here.
268
00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:32,231
- Give me a hug.
- Okay. All right.
269
00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:35,201
How did you find me?
270
00:12:35,269 --> 00:12:37,550
I left my iPhone in the back
seat of your truck last night
271
00:12:37,571 --> 00:12:39,705
and I tracked it with Find My iPhone.
272
00:12:39,773 --> 00:12:42,573
10 bucks, the valet let me in your car.
273
00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,311
- That's really smart.
- Thank you.
274
00:12:47,347 --> 00:12:50,483
You guys are very close, aren't you?
275
00:12:50,551 --> 00:12:53,653
We are. I mean, I don't know what
I would do without this guy.
276
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,817
I know what I would have done.
277
00:12:58,296 --> 00:13:00,319
I'm so nervous. And it doesn't help
278
00:13:00,387 --> 00:13:02,668
that Walter Lordsly
is right in the front row.
279
00:13:02,689 --> 00:13:04,189
Walter Lordsly?
280
00:13:04,257 --> 00:13:07,092
The most important producer
on Broadway is here?
281
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,961
- Yeah, he's an alcoholic.
- What?
282
00:13:09,029 --> 00:13:12,064
The guy who produced "Leaving Las
Vegas the Musical" is an alc...
283
00:13:12,132 --> 00:13:15,067
of course he's an alcoholic.
284
00:13:15,135 --> 00:13:18,304
Coming up next, Jordan D.
will sing an original song.
285
00:13:18,371 --> 00:13:19,405
Jordan D., come on up.
286
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:29,949
I'm Jordan D. and I'm an alcoholic.
287
00:13:30,016 --> 00:13:33,185
Hi, Jordan.
288
00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:35,120
And this is my friend who will
be singing backup with me.
289
00:13:35,188 --> 00:13:36,989
Hi, I'm Patrick.
290
00:13:37,057 --> 00:13:40,459
And I am a chocoholic.
291
00:13:43,797 --> 00:13:45,698
Take it away, Jordan.
292
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,601
♪ I've had Jose in my bed ♪
293
00:13:49,669 --> 00:13:52,338
♪ Jose in my bed ♪
294
00:13:52,405 --> 00:13:55,140
♪ I've had Jose in the car ♪
295
00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,209
♪ Jose in my car ♪
296
00:13:57,277 --> 00:14:00,512
♪ Beep, beep, beep, beep, ooh ♪
297
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,588
♪ I've had Jose in the woods ♪
298
00:14:09,656 --> 00:14:13,325
- ♪ In the woods ♪
- ♪ And underneath ♪
299
00:14:13,393 --> 00:14:17,696
- ♪ The stars ♪
- ♪ Stars ♪
300
00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:36,215
♪ I've had Jose in my mouth ♪
301
00:14:36,282 --> 00:14:40,786
♪ I've had Jose in my mouth... ♪
302
00:14:42,322 --> 00:14:46,925
♪ Jose on my face... ♪
303
00:14:46,993 --> 00:14:51,897
♪ I've had Jose on my face... ♪
304
00:14:51,965 --> 00:14:53,806
♪ Dripping down my white skin ♪
305
00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:55,634
♪ Dripping off my chin ♪
306
00:14:59,873 --> 00:15:02,041
♪ I've had Jose ♪
307
00:15:02,108 --> 00:15:04,510
♪ Jose ♪
308
00:15:04,577 --> 00:15:06,145
♪ Jose ♪
309
00:15:06,212 --> 00:15:08,347
♪ Jose ♪
310
00:15:08,415 --> 00:15:11,984
♪ Oh... ♪
311
00:15:15,155 --> 00:15:16,722
Uh, thank you.
312
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,259
You can please visit Patricksings4U.com.
313
00:15:20,326 --> 00:15:22,661
It'll be up online tomorrow.
314
00:15:22,729 --> 00:15:25,297
Hey.
315
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,803
Oh, what an unbelievable day.
316
00:15:30,870 --> 00:15:33,005
Santa Monica Pier, the tar pits,
317
00:15:33,073 --> 00:15:34,373
the wax museum,
318
00:15:34,441 --> 00:15:36,542
then back to the tar pits
because I forgot my purse.
319
00:15:38,545 --> 00:15:40,846
Putting our hands in every single
320
00:15:40,914 --> 00:15:43,382
celebrity handprint
at the Chinese Theatre.
321
00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,417
I should probably get going.
322
00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:47,252
You want to come back to
my place and have a drink?
323
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,621
Or you could have a drink here.
You're already here.
324
00:15:49,689 --> 00:15:51,790
Seems like it would be silly to leave.
325
00:15:51,858 --> 00:15:54,393
I think I'm feeling a little
bit tired from the day.
326
00:15:54,461 --> 00:15:57,463
But tomorrow we can walk down Rodeo
Drive and go window-shopping.
327
00:15:57,530 --> 00:15:58,964
Or would you hate that?
328
00:15:59,032 --> 00:16:01,233
Are you kidding? I love it.
329
00:16:01,301 --> 00:16:03,969
Oh, yeah, yeah. I do it all the time.
330
00:16:04,037 --> 00:16:06,238
You guys are the best.
331
00:16:06,306 --> 00:16:08,107
I'm gonna go use the restroom.
332
00:16:15,048 --> 00:16:17,416
This is torture.
333
00:16:17,484 --> 00:16:19,084
Okay, I'm a little ashamed to say this.
334
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:20,552
I'm starting to think
there are some things
335
00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:23,188
that I just will not do for sex.
336
00:16:23,256 --> 00:16:24,990
I wasted this much time and energy
337
00:16:25,058 --> 00:16:27,759
not getting laid since summer camp.
338
00:16:27,827 --> 00:16:30,562
What do you say?
We call this bet off, yeah?
339
00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:33,265
No, no, no. I've got my eye
on a little summer dress
340
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:35,601
at the American Girl store. Yes,
we should call off this bet!
341
00:16:35,668 --> 00:16:37,202
Deal.
342
00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:39,571
Deal.
343
00:16:39,639 --> 00:16:41,440
Hey.
344
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:44,042
Am I interrupting something?
345
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:46,345
- No, no, no. Everything's fine.
- All good.
346
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:49,781
Listen, I know I said I was tired,
347
00:16:49,849 --> 00:16:52,017
but I think I'm just
a little bit nervous
348
00:16:52,085 --> 00:16:54,326
because I have a feeling
I know what's going on here.
349
00:16:55,955 --> 00:16:57,915
I mean, you're both interested, right?
350
00:16:59,025 --> 00:17:02,427
I'm interested. So let's do this.
351
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:06,465
Do... what?
352
00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:10,211
I like you both and I feel
like I have to choose,
353
00:17:10,236 --> 00:17:12,104
but I really don't want to.
354
00:17:12,172 --> 00:17:15,207
So let's go have some fun,
the three of us.
355
00:17:26,286 --> 00:17:29,766
Did Miss Congeniality just invite
us upstairs to double-team her?
356
00:17:36,729 --> 00:17:38,864
I think so.
357
00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:44,836
I'll tell you what. Apparently,
Iowa's got a lot more going on
358
00:17:44,904 --> 00:17:46,905
than just corn.
359
00:17:50,179 --> 00:17:52,781
So are we going to...
360
00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:55,777
do this?
361
00:17:55,845 --> 00:17:58,146
You mean the London Bridge?
362
00:17:58,214 --> 00:17:59,848
The push me, pull you?
363
00:17:59,916 --> 00:18:01,350
The two hot dogs on a bun?
364
00:18:03,419 --> 00:18:06,154
That's not really making it any better.
365
00:18:06,222 --> 00:18:08,423
Well, of course
we're not going to do this.
366
00:18:08,491 --> 00:18:10,459
So I'm just gonna go up there
and tell her to go home.
367
00:18:10,526 --> 00:18:12,160
No, no, no. No, no, no.
368
00:18:12,228 --> 00:18:14,696
Listen, I'll do it, okay?
369
00:18:14,764 --> 00:18:16,865
No, no, no, no. This is my home.
370
00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:18,333
I should be the one
that goes and tells her.
371
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,202
Wait.
372
00:18:22,403 --> 00:18:25,883
We never shook hands when we
called off the bet, did we?
373
00:18:25,908 --> 00:18:27,976
- No.
- Are you kidding me?
374
00:18:35,985 --> 00:18:38,186
Hey, you.
375
00:18:38,254 --> 00:18:40,055
Why are you locking Sean out?
376
00:18:40,123 --> 00:18:43,025
Oh, it's just a little
role-playing game we like to play.
377
00:18:43,092 --> 00:18:44,860
Don't do it, Molly!
378
00:18:44,927 --> 00:18:47,562
I have sex with our partner
and then when I'm finished,
379
00:18:47,630 --> 00:18:49,064
he comes in as the angry husband
380
00:18:49,132 --> 00:18:50,812
and acts like he just lost a bet.
381
00:18:53,069 --> 00:18:54,636
Open the door!
382
00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:56,772
And that's our cue to start having sex.
383
00:18:58,941 --> 00:19:01,743
I hate you!
384
00:19:04,614 --> 00:19:06,081
See?
385
00:19:06,149 --> 00:19:07,949
Now he goes away all dejected.
386
00:19:08,017 --> 00:19:10,185
The man is a master at this.
387
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:15,323
So you've done this enough times
388
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:17,125
that you actually have a routine?
389
00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:19,027
Yes, we have.
390
00:19:19,095 --> 00:19:20,796
Mmm, Charlie, no, no.
391
00:19:20,863 --> 00:19:22,831
You don't have to kiss me.
392
00:19:22,899 --> 00:19:25,567
Wow, want to get right down to business.
You got it.
393
00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:28,870
No, no.
394
00:19:28,938 --> 00:19:32,607
I think the person
you really want to kiss
395
00:19:32,675 --> 00:19:35,177
is Sean.
396
00:19:37,847 --> 00:19:40,215
Sean.
397
00:19:40,283 --> 00:19:43,452
Oh, you're serious.
398
00:19:43,519 --> 00:19:46,388
I saw the way you hugged him when
you found out his aunt died.
399
00:19:46,456 --> 00:19:48,990
And I saw you guys almost holding
hands downstairs earlier.
400
00:19:49,058 --> 00:19:52,259
And I've never seen two guys more
excited about going window-shopping.
401
00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:55,063
I am not gay.
402
00:19:55,131 --> 00:19:58,300
And even if I was, Sean would
be way too old for me.
403
00:20:00,036 --> 00:20:02,170
It just seems to me
404
00:20:02,238 --> 00:20:04,873
that you would do anything
to be together.
405
00:20:04,941 --> 00:20:07,142
I'm telling you, this is
just your imagination.
406
00:20:10,213 --> 00:20:13,215
Molly, do not sleep with him.
407
00:20:13,282 --> 00:20:15,042
I get it, he's yours.
408
00:20:17,252 --> 00:20:20,732
All right, so does anyone have
anything else they'd like to discuss?
409
00:20:20,757 --> 00:20:23,391
That friend of yours go back to Iowa?
410
00:20:23,459 --> 00:20:25,427
I was wondering if she got sick
411
00:20:25,495 --> 00:20:28,663
like all those other people did
at the Taste of the Congo.
412
00:20:28,731 --> 00:20:30,899
Yeah, there was so much E. coli there,
413
00:20:30,967 --> 00:20:34,736
the E. coli people should
have had their own booth.
414
00:20:34,804 --> 00:20:37,773
No, Molly is fine.
She went back this morning.
415
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,280
She had a really nice time.
She met a couple guys she liked.
416
00:20:40,343 --> 00:20:42,978
Really? Did she mention if she
liked one more than the other?
417
00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:44,925
No, she didn't say. All I know is
418
00:20:44,981 --> 00:20:47,816
that both of them turned out to be gay.
419
00:20:47,884 --> 00:20:50,318
You know, she might be wrong.
420
00:20:50,386 --> 00:20:53,655
Sometimes a guy can be so
comfortable in his masculinity
421
00:20:53,723 --> 00:20:55,791
that he just appears to be gay.
422
00:20:55,858 --> 00:20:57,225
You might be right.
423
00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,661
Molly always thinks everyone's gay.
424
00:20:59,729 --> 00:21:01,963
I know, right? I mean, hmm, interesting.
425
00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:07,335
She has the worst
gaydar of anyone I know.
426
00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:12,374
So did you and Sean have sex?
427
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:23,063
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com