1
00:00:00,264 --> 00:00:03,070
- Here you go, Ed.
- What's this all about, Charlie?
2
00:00:03,126 --> 00:00:04,648
Eh, it's a little award
3
00:00:04,703 --> 00:00:06,569
for everybody opening up
in therapy this week.
4
00:00:06,633 --> 00:00:07,700
Great job, everyone.
5
00:00:07,768 --> 00:00:10,536
Thank you, Charlie.
6
00:00:10,604 --> 00:00:14,140
Oh. What a lovely bottle of table wine.
7
00:00:14,208 --> 00:00:17,076
2014. Good year...
8
00:00:17,144 --> 00:00:18,378
so far.
9
00:00:19,847 --> 00:00:22,181
Jesus on the road
to Pittsburgh, Charlie.
10
00:00:22,249 --> 00:00:25,818
This is a primo bottle
of 160 proof bourbon.
11
00:00:25,886 --> 00:00:27,653
This could kill me.
12
00:00:28,789 --> 00:00:30,690
That's a $200 bottle.
13
00:00:31,859 --> 00:00:34,160
Huh.
14
00:00:34,228 --> 00:00:35,561
Oh, my God.
15
00:00:35,629 --> 00:00:37,509
Dom Perignon? Thank you, Charlie.
16
00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:41,034
Look at that.
17
00:00:41,101 --> 00:00:45,071
Wow. Some kind of French wine from 1981.
18
00:00:45,139 --> 00:00:47,607
Is this gonna go well
with grilled cheese?
19
00:00:47,674 --> 00:00:51,044
No, you boob! That is a Chateau Margaux.
20
00:00:51,111 --> 00:00:53,546
It goes well with filet mignon
or a delicate foie gras.
21
00:00:53,614 --> 00:00:58,217
How about a gently toasted Pop-Tart?
22
00:00:58,285 --> 00:01:00,186
Okay, I know what you're
trying to do here, Charlie.
23
00:01:00,254 --> 00:01:02,622
You're trying to get me
so angry that I explode
24
00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:06,059
and sound petty complaining
about some idiot from my school
25
00:01:06,126 --> 00:01:08,094
who's gonna be famous just
because he sent an audition tape
26
00:01:08,162 --> 00:01:10,763
into "America's Top Designer"
and got on,
27
00:01:10,831 --> 00:01:13,966
even though his signature style
element is fun buttons.
28
00:01:15,803 --> 00:01:19,472
So, how's my plan going so far?
29
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:22,708
Pretty good. Who's got a corkscrew?
30
00:01:22,776 --> 00:01:25,211
Well, what do they think of
your audition tape, Patrick?
31
00:01:25,279 --> 00:01:26,712
I didn't send one.
32
00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:28,548
Patrick, you're not angry
at this other guy.
33
00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:29,949
You're angry at yourself.
34
00:01:30,017 --> 00:01:31,751
Get off your ass and make
your own audition tape.
35
00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:35,288
I would, but this season they're
focusing on men's clothing
36
00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:37,323
and the submission has to be in tomorrow
37
00:01:37,391 --> 00:01:40,059
and I'm never gonna
find a model in time.
38
00:01:40,127 --> 00:01:43,062
That's just an excuse.
39
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:47,500
If you can handle a real man, I
might make myself available.
40
00:01:47,568 --> 00:01:49,335
Aw, Ed. That's so sweet.
41
00:01:49,403 --> 00:01:52,238
Except I designed all the
clothes to fit my ex-boyfriend,
42
00:01:52,306 --> 00:01:56,943
who's a human being, not a
life-sized Yosemite Sam.
43
00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:58,711
Sean: I'll do it!
44
00:01:58,779 --> 00:02:00,880
Sean, what did I tell you about
eavesdropping on the group?
45
00:02:00,948 --> 00:02:03,049
That it's not worth it
46
00:02:03,117 --> 00:02:05,418
because nobody ever says
anything interesting.
47
00:02:05,486 --> 00:02:07,553
Which you were...
48
00:02:08,922 --> 00:02:10,723
wrong about.
49
00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:18,683
Please stop doing what you're doing.
50
00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:21,953
You really wanna be Patrick's model?
51
00:02:22,002 --> 00:02:24,637
I do. The other day,
I was getting out of the shower
52
00:02:24,705 --> 00:02:27,907
and I caught a glimpse
of all this in the mirror,
53
00:02:27,975 --> 00:02:31,944
and I thought, "I could
make a living being this."
54
00:02:36,953 --> 00:02:39,194
What do you think, Patrick?
Does Sean work for you?
55
00:02:39,219 --> 00:02:41,053
Sure, as long as he doesn't do
56
00:02:41,121 --> 00:02:43,389
that "point in the distance" thing.
57
00:02:43,457 --> 00:02:46,578
Oh, I can't really promise that. I
kinda go where the mood takes me.
58
00:02:46,784 --> 00:02:49,505
Well, I'm trying to finish
group, so I'm hoping
59
00:02:49,530 --> 00:02:51,564
that the mood takes you...
60
00:02:51,632 --> 00:02:54,333
out the door.
61
00:03:02,176 --> 00:03:03,643
Thanks for helping Patrick.
62
00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:05,678
He just needed a little push.
63
00:03:05,746 --> 00:03:08,987
Of course. It's a blessing to give
without expecting anything in return.
64
00:03:09,049 --> 00:03:11,417
So, where the hell is my birthday gift?
65
00:03:11,485 --> 00:03:14,253
Oh, wow. It's still on layaway at the
66
00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:17,161
"things dudes shouldn't expect
from other dudes" store.
67
00:03:18,825 --> 00:03:21,494
Well, that's a shame
'cause I got you a present.
68
00:03:21,562 --> 00:03:23,496
I have a party bus full of
booze and strippers.
69
00:03:23,564 --> 00:03:24,797
It'll be here any minute.
70
00:03:24,865 --> 00:03:26,799
Even the driver is a stripper.
71
00:03:26,867 --> 00:03:30,536
I bet when she gets down to her chauffeur's
cap and little lumbar cushion,
72
00:03:30,604 --> 00:03:33,105
she's a sight to see, huh?
73
00:03:33,173 --> 00:03:34,941
Let's do this. C'mon,
let's get some singles.
74
00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:37,176
Sean, I can't. I just started
this counseling clinic
75
00:03:37,244 --> 00:03:39,145
with Jordan at the prison.
76
00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:42,093
If it's successful, it'll be
huge for me professionally.
77
00:03:42,115 --> 00:03:45,218
Oh, that's right. You have
a future and a career.
78
00:03:45,285 --> 00:03:47,853
I'm just a lonely guy on his birthday
79
00:03:47,921 --> 00:03:49,222
who thought he had a friend,
80
00:03:49,289 --> 00:03:51,190
but I guess I don't.
81
00:03:51,258 --> 00:03:52,778
All right, screw it. I'll go.
82
00:03:52,826 --> 00:03:54,066
Yes!
83
00:03:54,127 --> 00:03:56,462
Dude, we're gonna have so much fun.
84
00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:59,131
Hey, Charlie. Ready to go?
85
00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:01,100
Oh, hello, Sean.
86
00:04:01,168 --> 00:04:02,835
( Sighs )
'Sup, J?
87
00:04:02,903 --> 00:04:04,470
Lookin' good.
88
00:04:04,538 --> 00:04:05,805
You know, today's my birthday,
89
00:04:05,872 --> 00:04:07,006
so if you wanna get me a gift...
90
00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,641
Amazon gift card.
91
00:04:08,709 --> 00:04:10,543
Visa gift card.
92
00:04:10,611 --> 00:04:12,478
Casual sex...
93
00:04:12,546 --> 00:04:14,880
gift card.
94
00:04:14,948 --> 00:04:17,817
- Ahem...
- Charlie, we should go.
95
00:04:17,884 --> 00:04:19,585
We have someone coming in early.
96
00:04:19,653 --> 00:04:20,853
Jordan, I've been thinking about it and...
97
00:04:20,921 --> 00:04:22,555
and I'm not coming in today.
98
00:04:22,623 --> 00:04:24,190
Why not?
99
00:04:25,392 --> 00:04:27,293
I have been grooming you for a while now
100
00:04:27,361 --> 00:04:29,762
to work with patients
on your own, and...
101
00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:31,931
today is the day that
you're ready to start.
102
00:04:31,999 --> 00:04:33,499
What?
103
00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,635
Charlie, no. I just got
my counseling license.
104
00:04:35,702 --> 00:04:37,303
No way. I'm not ready yet.
105
00:04:37,371 --> 00:04:40,573
Nobody feels ready the first
time they do something.
106
00:04:40,641 --> 00:04:42,942
You think a stripper driving a party bus
107
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:46,145
for the first time feels ready? No.
108
00:04:46,213 --> 00:04:48,848
What are you talking about?
109
00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:50,016
C'mon. It's just Tim. We've
been seeing Tim for weeks.
110
00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:51,450
You have a great rapport with Tim.
111
00:04:51,518 --> 00:04:52,585
You'll be fine with Tim.
112
00:04:52,653 --> 00:04:55,554
I guess.
113
00:04:55,622 --> 00:04:57,089
So, you're not coming in at all?
114
00:04:57,157 --> 00:04:59,659
I would love to, but...
115
00:04:59,726 --> 00:05:02,595
I got a ton of paperwork I'm just gonna
get caught up with here at home.
116
00:05:02,663 --> 00:05:04,743
( Dance music playing,
car horn beeping )
117
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:08,868
So... ahem...
118
00:05:08,935 --> 00:05:10,403
good luck.
119
00:05:10,617 --> 00:05:15,617
Anger Management 2x57
- Charlie Catches Jordan in the Act -
Original air date April 17, 2014
120
00:05:15,642 --> 00:05:19,078
So, Tim. Charlie won't
be joining us today, but
121
00:05:19,146 --> 00:05:22,181
you should have full confidence
that I can counsel you
122
00:05:22,249 --> 00:05:24,950
on your re-entry to society on my own.
123
00:05:31,258 --> 00:05:33,659
Whoo...! Found your file.
124
00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:36,896
So...
125
00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:41,334
why don't we...
126
00:05:41,401 --> 00:05:43,269
pick up where we left off last week?
127
00:05:43,337 --> 00:05:45,171
Absolutely, Dr. Denby.
128
00:05:45,238 --> 00:05:48,074
I keep telling you, call me Jordan.
129
00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:51,177
Jordan. That's a real pretty
name for a real pretty woman.
130
00:05:51,244 --> 00:05:54,947
Oh, thank you.
131
00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:57,183
You're not so bad yourself.
132
00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:00,419
Despite the fact that you
nearly beat three men to death
133
00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:03,589
with your bare hands. Wow.
134
00:06:03,657 --> 00:06:05,791
What happened there?
135
00:06:05,859 --> 00:06:09,228
I was just workin' at the marina.
I restore boats as a hobby.
136
00:06:09,296 --> 00:06:11,864
Working with your hands
and... faded jeans.
137
00:06:11,932 --> 00:06:13,999
Go on.
138
00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:17,703
Well, I'm too much of a gentleman to tell
you what those thugs did to my girl, but...
139
00:06:17,771 --> 00:06:19,505
after I was done with them I...
140
00:06:19,573 --> 00:06:23,409
ripped my shirt off and used it
as a pillow under my lady's head.
141
00:06:23,477 --> 00:06:26,145
Stroked her hand until
the ambulance arrived.
142
00:06:26,213 --> 00:06:29,048
Oh, my...
143
00:06:30,384 --> 00:06:32,151
( Exhales )
144
00:06:32,219 --> 00:06:33,586
( Chuckles )
145
00:06:33,653 --> 00:06:35,020
Look, Tim.
146
00:06:35,088 --> 00:06:36,555
What you did
147
00:06:36,623 --> 00:06:38,724
may have been justified.
148
00:06:38,792 --> 00:06:40,493
But there are going to be times
149
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,762
where you're gonna be
in situations where
150
00:06:42,829 --> 00:06:44,897
a physical response is not appropriate.
151
00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:50,936
Well, is there ever a time where a
physical response isn't appropriate?
152
00:06:51,004 --> 00:06:53,205
( Laughing )
I don't know. Shut up, Tim.
153
00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:57,031
Anyway...
154
00:06:57,097 --> 00:06:58,965
there are... Ahem...
155
00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:02,969
techniques that you can use...
156
00:07:03,037 --> 00:07:06,105
to prevent this. For instance,
157
00:07:06,173 --> 00:07:09,075
if someone were to get too close
158
00:07:09,143 --> 00:07:12,011
and invade your personal space,
159
00:07:12,079 --> 00:07:15,081
it might trigger certain feelings...
160
00:07:21,538 --> 00:07:22,698
No! This is wrong!
161
00:07:22,723 --> 00:07:25,992
Ugh.
162
00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:30,597
Maybe we should do a mock job interview.
163
00:07:30,664 --> 00:07:32,899
- What are you good at?
- Kissing.
164
00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:34,300
You're hired.
165
00:07:42,991 --> 00:07:45,800
Charlie, I have to talk to you.
166
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:48,335
Jordan. What are you doing out at night?
167
00:07:48,403 --> 00:07:50,171
Shouldn't you be at home
petting your cats
168
00:07:50,238 --> 00:07:52,807
with a bucket of ice cream
strapped to your head?
169
00:07:52,874 --> 00:07:56,944
- I did something bad.
- Oh, no. You were petting your ice cream
170
00:07:57,012 --> 00:07:59,079
with a cat strapped to your head?
171
00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:01,882
I was really, really
nervous at the prison,
172
00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:04,118
so I had a couple drinks and...
173
00:08:04,186 --> 00:08:06,086
I made out with Tim!
174
00:08:06,154 --> 00:08:08,689
Okay, hold on, hold on.
175
00:08:08,757 --> 00:08:11,725
Not Tim the prisoner,
176
00:08:11,793 --> 00:08:13,761
you mean Tim the janitor.
177
00:08:13,829 --> 00:08:15,896
There is no Tim the janitor.
178
00:08:15,964 --> 00:08:18,165
Well, then you better go find
one and start kissing him.
179
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:21,446
'Cause if it's Tim the prisoner,
they're gonna shut us down.
180
00:08:21,469 --> 00:08:23,537
I tried to stop myself.
181
00:08:23,605 --> 00:08:26,974
- Then why didn't you?
- Because he works with his hands,
182
00:08:27,042 --> 00:08:29,310
and has a beard and is hot,
and I like him!
183
00:08:30,645 --> 00:08:32,947
Jordan, Jordan.
184
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,648
We just had a sexual harassment seminar.
185
00:08:34,716 --> 00:08:35,850
Didn't you learn anything?
186
00:08:35,917 --> 00:08:37,418
They never said anything
187
00:08:37,485 --> 00:08:39,553
about a hot prisoner with a beard
188
00:08:39,621 --> 00:08:42,423
who works with his hands and I like him.
189
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,359
This was gonna be the biggest
thing in our careers
190
00:08:45,427 --> 00:08:48,863
and you threw it all away
for a cheap sexual thrill.
191
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:50,497
Charlie.
192
00:08:50,565 --> 00:08:52,433
What's taking so long with the tequila?
193
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:55,135
Oh, Sean finally got the
blacklight working on the bus
194
00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:58,005
and Tammy's already rolling
around in glow-in-the-dark paint.
195
00:08:58,073 --> 00:08:59,840
I'll be right there, sweetie.
196
00:08:59,908 --> 00:09:01,942
Girl: Okay.
197
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:05,646
How could you be so
selfish and irresponsible?
198
00:09:05,714 --> 00:09:08,315
You sent me out to handle a patient
199
00:09:08,383 --> 00:09:10,351
before I was ready so that
you could spend the day
200
00:09:10,418 --> 00:09:11,785
with a bunch of stupid strippers?
201
00:09:11,853 --> 00:09:14,355
Hey, they are not all stupid.
202
00:09:14,422 --> 00:09:15,856
In fact, one of them happens to be
203
00:09:15,924 --> 00:09:17,804
a licensed bus driver.
204
00:09:19,828 --> 00:09:21,395
Okay, action!
205
00:09:22,564 --> 00:09:25,199
Oh. Hey, everybody.
206
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,301
I'm Patrick,
207
00:09:27,369 --> 00:09:28,930
and I'm gonna tell you why I want to be
208
00:09:28,970 --> 00:09:31,238
the next "America's Top Designer."
209
00:09:31,306 --> 00:09:33,374
Revenge.
210
00:09:33,441 --> 00:09:35,509
( Laughing )
Just kidding.
211
00:09:35,577 --> 00:09:37,411
It's because I'm the best that there is.
212
00:09:37,479 --> 00:09:40,547
And I'm not kidding.
213
00:09:40,615 --> 00:09:43,450
Come take a look at some of my work.
214
00:09:43,518 --> 00:09:45,819
Feast your eyes on a little
something I like to call
215
00:09:45,887 --> 00:09:48,722
"the Perfection Collection"
because, well...
216
00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:50,658
I'll just let the clothes
speak for themselves.
217
00:09:50,725 --> 00:09:52,493
( Snaps fingers )
218
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,596
This is my take on club formal.
219
00:09:55,664 --> 00:09:59,133
Hi, I'm Sean Healey and you
can view more photographs...
220
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,601
Hey, what the hell are you doing?
221
00:10:00,669 --> 00:10:02,336
You're not supposed to talk.
222
00:10:02,404 --> 00:10:04,905
Well, I'm confused. How am I
supposed to promote myself?
223
00:10:04,973 --> 00:10:06,774
This isn't about you. It is about me
224
00:10:06,841 --> 00:10:08,442
and how my clothes
elevate the human spirit
225
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:10,177
and make people feel
better about themselves.
226
00:10:10,245 --> 00:10:11,812
You are just a hanger.
227
00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:18,452
Uh, no, I'm not. I am a model,
228
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:22,957
and models have perfectly
proportioned feelings,
229
00:10:25,226 --> 00:10:26,894
and you just hurt mine.
230
00:10:26,962 --> 00:10:29,697
Patrick, why don't you tell
everybody why you design clothes?
231
00:10:29,764 --> 00:10:33,467
Asking why I design clothes
232
00:10:33,535 --> 00:10:38,472
is like... is like asking
an eagle why he flies.
233
00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:42,109
Or a duck why he swims...
234
00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:45,479
and occasionally flies.
235
00:10:45,547 --> 00:10:47,247
We don't have a choice.
236
00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:49,984
Now, take a look at the lines
on the back of this jacket.
237
00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:53,454
You can turn around now.
238
00:10:55,123 --> 00:10:58,926
Oh, wow. Look at the
ass on that suit, huh?
239
00:10:58,994 --> 00:11:02,096
Keep shakin' that thing
and let me zoom in.
240
00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:04,765
No! You shut up, and you...
241
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:07,801
stop doing that or I swear
to God I will end you.
242
00:11:09,037 --> 00:11:10,771
You'll end me?
243
00:11:10,839 --> 00:11:13,407
Sometimes I say things without thinking.
244
00:11:15,143 --> 00:11:16,810
I'm out.
245
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:25,352
Ugly attitude, terrific clothes.
246
00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:31,925
Thanks for coming in, Tim.
I know you're busy.
247
00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:34,094
Yeah, it's okay. I was just sittin'
in my cell starin' at the wall,
248
00:11:34,162 --> 00:11:36,930
but I can move that to this afternoon.
249
00:11:36,998 --> 00:11:39,433
That's funny. I like you.
250
00:11:39,501 --> 00:11:42,002
You're a good person.
251
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:45,439
Listen, uh, I know what happened
between you and Jordan,
252
00:11:45,507 --> 00:11:47,608
and I wouldn't tell
anybody else about it
253
00:11:47,675 --> 00:11:50,544
because she happens to be married...
254
00:11:50,612 --> 00:11:52,112
to the warden.
255
00:11:53,314 --> 00:11:54,915
The warden's a woman.
256
00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:57,751
Exactly.
257
00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:01,522
But she's a lesbian woman
258
00:12:01,589 --> 00:12:03,957
who's very attached to our Jordan,
259
00:12:04,025 --> 00:12:08,195
who is her lesbian wife.
260
00:12:08,263 --> 00:12:10,764
- Warden's not a lesbian.
- How do you know?
261
00:12:10,832 --> 00:12:13,901
- Well, I slept with her.
- You slept with the warden?
262
00:12:13,968 --> 00:12:16,670
What the hell you still doing in here?
263
00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:18,705
What's this all about, Charlie?
264
00:12:18,773 --> 00:12:20,941
All right, look.
( Exhales )
265
00:12:21,009 --> 00:12:23,177
I'm gonna level with you.
Jordan's pretty screwed up,
266
00:12:23,244 --> 00:12:26,413
and she was way outta line and
lost control. but I mean,
267
00:12:26,481 --> 00:12:28,782
who could blame her? Look at that beard.
268
00:12:30,743 --> 00:12:33,663
Tim, this would really damage our program.
If it gets out
269
00:12:33,688 --> 00:12:35,656
so do me a favor.
Just keep it under your hat
270
00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:38,192
and when you get out,
I'll buy you a beer.
271
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:40,360
A beer sounds good.
272
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:43,063
But I'm also gonna need
$20,000 to keep my mouth shut.
273
00:12:43,131 --> 00:12:46,500
$20,000 or I lose my clinic?
274
00:12:46,568 --> 00:12:48,769
That's criminal!
275
00:12:48,837 --> 00:12:50,837
Why am I saying that like I'm surprised?
276
00:12:53,342 --> 00:12:56,262
All right, guys. Before we
wrap this up, I just wanna say
277
00:12:56,287 --> 00:12:58,488
that running my new clinic
is very expensive.
278
00:12:58,556 --> 00:13:02,559
Every little bit helps, so I'd appreciate
anything you could scrounge up.
279
00:13:02,626 --> 00:13:05,595
Nickels, dimes...
280
00:13:05,663 --> 00:13:08,097
$20,000.
281
00:13:08,165 --> 00:13:10,300
I got four cigarettes and a tattoo gun
282
00:13:10,367 --> 00:13:13,469
made out of a BIC pen and dental floss.
283
00:13:13,537 --> 00:13:18,274
Well, I would contribute, but I gave
all my money to Wayne's campaign.
284
00:13:18,342 --> 00:13:19,943
Now, he's too modest to tell you, but...
285
00:13:20,010 --> 00:13:23,580
he was just elected
president of our cell block!
286
00:13:23,647 --> 00:13:24,781
( Clapping )
287
00:13:24,848 --> 00:13:27,750
Our first white president.
288
00:13:27,818 --> 00:13:30,286
Lord, I never thought
I'd live to see the day.
289
00:13:32,122 --> 00:13:35,323
I ran on the "keep the TV
on Telemundo" platform.
290
00:13:36,138 --> 00:13:39,538
Makes the Mexicans happy 'cause, well...
it's Mexican,
291
00:13:39,563 --> 00:13:42,098
the blacks happy because
there's pretty dancing girls,
292
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:44,206
and the Aryans happy 'cause
they're not being killed
293
00:13:44,234 --> 00:13:47,003
by the blacks or Mexicans.
294
00:13:47,071 --> 00:13:50,640
Well, congratulations,
Wayne, and keep in mind
295
00:13:50,708 --> 00:13:55,812
that with a tiny bit of power comes
a tiny bit of responsibility.
296
00:13:55,879 --> 00:13:57,599
I'll see you all next week.
297
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,894
Wayne, can I talk to you for a second?
298
00:14:01,919 --> 00:14:04,287
When you're out on the campaign trail
299
00:14:04,355 --> 00:14:06,089
shaking hands, and kissing babies...
300
00:14:06,156 --> 00:14:09,292
Careful, Charlie. Those mean
different things in prison.
301
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,127
You don't want to kiss a prisoner's baby
302
00:14:11,195 --> 00:14:14,163
and you definitely do not
wanna shake his hand.
303
00:14:14,231 --> 00:14:16,199
Of course not. Especially after he's...
304
00:14:16,266 --> 00:14:18,501
kissed your baby.
305
00:14:18,569 --> 00:14:21,137
Do you happen to know
a guy named Tim Simon?
306
00:14:21,205 --> 00:14:23,406
Oh, yeah. Tim's a good friend of mine.
307
00:14:23,474 --> 00:14:25,875
Great beard.
308
00:14:25,943 --> 00:14:27,777
He's trying to shake me down for 20 grand
309
00:14:27,845 --> 00:14:28,745
for something that happened
with him and Jordan
310
00:14:28,812 --> 00:14:30,713
at the clinic.
311
00:14:30,781 --> 00:14:33,783
Doesn't surprise me.
Jordan's quite the temptress
312
00:14:33,851 --> 00:14:36,953
and women are defenseless
against Tim's charms.
313
00:14:37,021 --> 00:14:39,689
Much as they are against my
chloroform and duct tape.
314
00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:44,637
Would you mind talking to him for me?
315
00:14:44,662 --> 00:14:48,631
No problem. Don't worry, he's probably
just having a little bit of fun with ya.
316
00:14:48,699 --> 00:14:50,166
Well, thanks, man. I appreciate it.
317
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:52,101
So, what happened with those two?
318
00:14:52,169 --> 00:14:54,904
- She kiss his baby?
- No.
319
00:14:54,972 --> 00:14:58,374
Oh, no. She shook his hand?
320
00:14:58,442 --> 00:15:00,376
God, I hope not.
321
00:15:02,780 --> 00:15:04,380
( Knock at door )
322
00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:06,783
( Bell rings )
323
00:15:09,286 --> 00:15:11,154
Hey, Patrick.
324
00:15:11,221 --> 00:15:14,057
What's going on?
325
00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:17,360
Well, I was thinking. For the reshoot,
326
00:15:17,428 --> 00:15:19,295
I've decided to go without a model.
327
00:15:19,363 --> 00:15:21,397
I can just put the clothes
on a mannequin on the beach.
328
00:15:21,465 --> 00:15:23,499
That's great. I love the beach.
329
00:15:23,567 --> 00:15:26,002
And I get along
really well with mannequins.
330
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:28,237
But why would you wanna send two tapes?
331
00:15:28,305 --> 00:15:30,773
Wait... what do you mean, "two tapes"?
332
00:15:30,841 --> 00:15:33,209
Well, I already sent in the other one.
333
00:15:33,277 --> 00:15:35,378
What? You sent in the tape?
334
00:15:35,446 --> 00:15:37,313
I was screaming the whole time.
335
00:15:37,381 --> 00:15:39,015
It's supposed to showcase
my personality.
336
00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:40,583
( Screaming )
That is not my personality!
337
00:15:40,651 --> 00:15:43,920
Uh, yeah, it is.
338
00:15:43,987 --> 00:15:47,590
You idiot. What have you done?
You've ruined me.
339
00:15:47,658 --> 00:15:52,361
Really? Because this morning
the producers e-mailed me
340
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,497
and they wanna meet you.
341
00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:56,332
- What?
- Yeah, they said they love
342
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,368
your bigger-than-life personality and
the fact that you tell it like it is.
343
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:00,770
So, in other words,
344
00:16:00,838 --> 00:16:04,040
they think I'm a loudmouthed jerk
345
00:16:04,108 --> 00:16:05,908
who's gonna piss everybody
off and then not care
346
00:16:05,976 --> 00:16:07,944
about the emotional wreckage I create?
347
00:16:08,011 --> 00:16:11,547
This is great! I'm gonna
get so much camera time.
348
00:16:11,615 --> 00:16:13,249
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
349
00:16:13,317 --> 00:16:15,785
Now, get out of here.
350
00:16:15,853 --> 00:16:17,153
I'm gonna call all my
friends and let it slip that
351
00:16:17,221 --> 00:16:18,988
I'm on the show until they're so jealous
352
00:16:19,056 --> 00:16:20,957
they wanna take a lot of
pills, slip into a hot bath,
353
00:16:21,024 --> 00:16:22,592
then slit their wrists.
354
00:16:22,659 --> 00:16:25,061
How was that?
355
00:16:25,129 --> 00:16:26,863
- That's perfect.
- Thank you.
356
00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,898
But seriously, get out of here.
357
00:16:28,966 --> 00:16:31,100
I gotta call all my friends, let
it slip that I'm on the show
358
00:16:31,168 --> 00:16:32,802
until they're all so jealous
they wanna take a lot of pills,
359
00:16:32,870 --> 00:16:35,304
slide into a hot bath,
and then slit their wrists.
360
00:16:35,372 --> 00:16:37,252
You're gonna win this thing.
361
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,136
Charlie.
362
00:16:42,203 --> 00:16:44,838
- Have you read your e-mail?
- You mean the one Sean sent to me?
363
00:16:44,906 --> 00:16:48,342
With the video of that monkey smelling his
finger and then falling out of that tree?
364
00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:50,744
( Chuckles )
Epic.
365
00:16:50,812 --> 00:16:54,181
The one from the prison marked "Urgent."
366
00:16:54,249 --> 00:16:57,317
No. Bet it's not nearly as funny.
367
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:01,055
Holy crap. Tim's dead?
368
00:17:01,122 --> 00:17:04,425
He fell off of the roof of
the administration building.
369
00:17:04,492 --> 00:17:07,394
This is so weird and horrible.
370
00:17:07,462 --> 00:17:10,998
I... gotta be a coincidence.
371
00:17:11,066 --> 00:17:13,000
What's a coincidence?
372
00:17:13,068 --> 00:17:14,935
What did you do?
373
00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:18,038
Nothing. I just talked to Wayne and then,
374
00:17:18,106 --> 00:17:21,075
Wayne talked to him and then...
375
00:17:21,142 --> 00:17:24,422
Wayne may have thrown him off the roof.
376
00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:26,580
Wayne?!
377
00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:30,884
You had a serial killer
go talk to somebody?
378
00:17:30,952 --> 00:17:33,353
He said they were friends and...
379
00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:35,689
he doesn't kill his friends, he kills...
family members.
380
00:17:35,757 --> 00:17:37,725
He kills ex-wives. He'll
kill just about anybody,
381
00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:40,327
but he will not kill a friend.
382
00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:43,097
Or maybe he does! I don't know!
383
00:17:43,164 --> 00:17:45,699
( Ringtone chimes )
384
00:17:47,469 --> 00:17:48,769
Hello?
385
00:17:50,572 --> 00:17:52,139
Oh.
386
00:17:52,207 --> 00:17:55,342
Yes, of course we'll be there.
387
00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:57,845
Thank you.
388
00:17:57,912 --> 00:18:00,380
That was the guy from the prison board.
389
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:02,816
He said they want to talk to us.
390
00:18:02,884 --> 00:18:05,352
Maybe they just wanna tell
us how good we're doing.
391
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:07,554
- You think?
- Nah, we're screwed.
392
00:18:09,724 --> 00:18:12,525
Get ready to make out
with everybody in that room.
393
00:18:17,637 --> 00:18:21,206
- Did you find Wayne? - No, no. He's in
solitary and nobody will tell me why.
394
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,709
Well, I know why. Because
you told him to kill Tim.
395
00:18:23,777 --> 00:18:25,911
I told him to talk to Tim.
396
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:28,547
"Talk" probably means
"kill" in prison, Charlie.
397
00:18:28,615 --> 00:18:30,649
I don't know if you know this,
but in here, "kissing a baby"
398
00:18:30,717 --> 00:18:33,552
does not mean "kissing a baby."
399
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,020
None of this would've happened
if you had an ounce of restraint
400
00:18:35,088 --> 00:18:36,922
instead of a fifth of bourbon.
401
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:42,598
Oh, please. Like you never got
drunk and made out with someone
402
00:18:44,131 --> 00:18:45,811
Okay, okay. This isn't helping.
403
00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:48,638
Let's just... be cool.
404
00:18:48,705 --> 00:18:51,265
- Pretend like we don't know why
this happened. - Fine.
405
00:18:53,443 --> 00:18:57,613
Good afternoon, Mr. Goodson, Dr. Denby.
406
00:18:57,681 --> 00:19:01,282
Do you know why we called you here?
407
00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:04,320
Yes, and before we start,
I would like you to know
408
00:19:04,388 --> 00:19:06,088
that...
409
00:19:06,156 --> 00:19:09,516
that she is the one
responsible for everything.
410
00:19:09,642 --> 00:19:11,203
( Mutters )
Dick.
411
00:19:11,228 --> 00:19:14,263
I'm sorry.
412
00:19:14,331 --> 00:19:16,766
But he is the one that made this happen.
413
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:20,403
You're both very generous, but
there's enough praise to go around.
414
00:19:20,470 --> 00:19:23,639
( Stammers )
I'm... I'm sorry. Praise?
415
00:19:23,707 --> 00:19:27,176
Yes, based on what we've seen,
we feel that your program
416
00:19:27,244 --> 00:19:31,247
will be very successful in helping
prisoners return to society.
417
00:19:31,315 --> 00:19:33,783
Both: Oh.
418
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:37,987
Well, in that case, Jordan's right.
It was all me.
419
00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:40,489
With your permission,
420
00:19:40,557 --> 00:19:43,517
we'd like to take the lead in
pushing your program statewide.
421
00:19:44,127 --> 00:19:45,394
( Both stammer )
422
00:19:45,462 --> 00:19:47,229
- Absolutely. I mean sure.
- Go for it. Yes.
423
00:19:47,297 --> 00:19:50,900
Uh, listen, there is something else.
424
00:19:50,967 --> 00:19:55,071
We want to talk to you about one
of your patients... Tim Simon.
425
00:19:56,115 --> 00:19:57,916
Yeah, yeah. We heard that
he fell off the roof
426
00:19:57,941 --> 00:20:00,176
of the administration building.
427
00:20:00,243 --> 00:20:03,212
Right. But there was more to it.
428
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,647
Really?
429
00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:08,827
Apparently he was up there
working on the flagpole,
430
00:20:08,852 --> 00:20:10,619
and...
431
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:14,167
was hit by lightning and it
blew him right off the roof.
432
00:20:15,592 --> 00:20:17,793
Oh. Thank God.
433
00:20:18,995 --> 00:20:22,765
I mean, oh, why God, why?
434
00:20:27,738 --> 00:20:29,538
That better not be a gin and tonic.
435
00:20:29,606 --> 00:20:32,675
It's not. It's a seltzer water and lime.
436
00:20:33,910 --> 00:20:35,711
- Let me try it.
- No.
437
00:20:35,779 --> 00:20:37,279
Let me try it.
438
00:20:40,283 --> 00:20:44,019
Yuck. Seltzer water and lime.
439
00:20:44,087 --> 00:20:48,891
How do you drink that? I need some
whiskey to get the taste outta my mouth.
440
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:50,292
Thanks for your support.
441
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,728
I do support you.
442
00:20:52,796 --> 00:20:55,531
Which is why I want you
to take a look at these.
443
00:20:55,599 --> 00:20:57,199
What are those?
444
00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:58,734
These are the mug shots
of all the prisoners
445
00:20:58,802 --> 00:21:01,404
comin' through our office
in the next six months.
446
00:21:01,471 --> 00:21:03,406
Oh, please. Am I supposed
to tell you which ones
447
00:21:03,473 --> 00:21:05,708
I'm not gonna be able
to control myself around?
448
00:21:05,776 --> 00:21:08,457
You are such a jerk. If you think
this is ever gonna happen again...
449
00:21:08,512 --> 00:21:10,913
oh, my God. His eyes...
450
00:21:13,316 --> 00:21:15,918
That's what I thought.
451
00:21:15,951 --> 00:21:25,951
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com