1
00:00:00,984 --> 00:00:03,503
All right, guys, let's get to it.
2
00:00:03,587 --> 00:00:04,821
What's that button?
3
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:07,590
It's something designed
to help you get healthy.
4
00:00:07,658 --> 00:00:09,676
Just ignore it.
5
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,962
So, Patrick, did you take the high road
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,465
and congratulate Wendy on that promotion
that you were supposed to get?
7
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,634
Yes, I did. I even bought her flowers.
8
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,886
Liar!
9
00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:21,438
What really happened?
10
00:00:21,505 --> 00:00:24,557
I saw her in the break room
and I gave her a thumbs up.
11
00:00:24,642 --> 00:00:26,025
Liar!
12
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,027
I flipped her off, that's all.
13
00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,178
Liar!
14
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,980
Okay, I started a whisper campaign
15
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,111
behind her back that she has
irritable bowel syndrome
16
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:36,986
and that she is the one responsible for
the "mystery smell" in the elevator.
17
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,622
There you go. Was that so hard?
18
00:00:39,690 --> 00:00:42,292
Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt.
19
00:00:42,359 --> 00:00:45,128
I couldn't find
any orange juice in there.
20
00:00:45,195 --> 00:00:46,796
I feel like I'm coming
down with something.
21
00:00:46,864 --> 00:00:49,582
Dude, you're sick.
You're wearing a parka.
22
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,251
It's like 95 degrees outside.
23
00:00:51,335 --> 00:00:54,254
It's way colder with the wind chill.
24
00:00:54,338 --> 00:00:57,056
I'm out of OJ. You'll have
to go to the grocery store.
25
00:00:57,141 --> 00:01:00,059
That is if you can make it there with
all this weather we've been having.
26
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,095
Are you making fun of me?
27
00:01:02,179 --> 00:01:04,147
Are you kidding? I would never do that.
28
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:05,548
Liar!
29
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,386
All right, Lacey. You're up.
30
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What's going on with you?
31
00:01:11,555 --> 00:01:13,556
Not too much.
32
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,558
I got my car repainted.
33
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,577
My ex boyfriend who I shot in the balls
34
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,863
is getting married to the woman
he cheated on me with tonight.
35
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:22,999
Oh, and I found some old muscle
relaxers under a couch cushion,
36
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:26,452
so that should be fun.
37
00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:29,122
I'm a little concerned about this.
38
00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:31,326
Oh, don't worry. They may
have lost a little strength,
39
00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:34,410
but you can always
recharge them with vodka.
40
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:37,246
Lacey, you shot this guy.
41
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,098
You must still have
some anger towards him.
42
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,544
He's the whole reason you're here.
43
00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:42,802
I know I'm angry at him
that you're here.
44
00:01:44,722 --> 00:01:48,474
Notice Charlie didn't hit
the button on that.
45
00:01:48,559 --> 00:01:52,145
It's no big deal. I never even
think about Julio anymore
46
00:01:52,229 --> 00:01:55,398
or the way his head
would look on a stick.
47
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,233
Really?
48
00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,319
And how would his head
look on that stick?
49
00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:02,655
Great, because he would be surprised.
50
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:06,242
He'd be like, "How did you find me
here at Tarzana Methodist Church?"
51
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,044
Damn, you look good.
52
00:02:08,111 --> 00:02:11,331
"Ow, you shot me again."
53
00:02:11,415 --> 00:02:12,832
I don't want to get ahead of ourselves,
54
00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:14,116
but I think we're on
to something important here.
55
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,585
Really? What's that?
56
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,971
"Smellavator"!
57
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,339
What?
58
00:02:19,423 --> 00:02:21,758
That's what Patrick
should call the elevator
59
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,393
that the lady smells up.
60
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:26,846
Somebody should put
your head on a stick.
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00:02:26,931 --> 00:02:30,850
Except it'd be a waste of a good stick.
62
00:02:30,935 --> 00:02:34,303
Lacey, it's clear that you're
still really angry at this guy.
63
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,406
And if you go to that wedding,
nothing good will come from it.
64
00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:38,491
Don't worry, I'm not going.
65
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,193
Just because Julio cheated on me
66
00:02:40,277 --> 00:02:42,028
and completely screwed up my life
67
00:02:42,112 --> 00:02:45,415
doesn't mean he doesn't
deserve to be happy.
68
00:02:45,482 --> 00:02:47,283
Oh, and that bitch he's marrying,
69
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,168
I hope she's happy, too.
70
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:51,838
Liar
71
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,790
Hey, you're not a doctor.
72
00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:02,131
Hey, Sean. Where's Charlie?
73
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,499
I've got the clinic budget
for him to look at.
74
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,268
He's in with the group.
75
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:07,804
Oh, okay. Will you let
him know I stopped by?
76
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,889
Okay.
77
00:03:09,974 --> 00:03:13,026
Not that I care,
78
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,477
but are you okay?
79
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,512
I'm so hot
80
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,515
and this tile floor is so cool.
81
00:03:24,154 --> 00:03:27,240
Oh, my God. You're burning up.
82
00:03:27,324 --> 00:03:29,542
Oh, if you think my head is hot,
83
00:03:29,627 --> 00:03:32,412
you should touch my nipples.
84
00:03:32,496 --> 00:03:34,247
Do it soft at first,
85
00:03:34,331 --> 00:03:37,383
but then just kind of
slowly lean into it.
86
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:40,036
Listen, there's a really
bad flu going around.
87
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,671
You need to go see a doctor.
88
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,974
Will you take me? Please?
89
00:03:45,042 --> 00:03:47,877
No.
90
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,680
Come on, I know you like
taking care of things.
91
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:53,650
Charlie told me about the bird that
you found with the broken wing.
92
00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:55,852
I didn't find it.
93
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:59,022
It flew into the house when I was
trying to shoo it out the window.
94
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,740
I broke its wing.
95
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,743
That's okay. You let it
live with you, right?
96
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,662
Well...
97
00:04:05,729 --> 00:04:08,865
it couldn't fly away
and I didn't want to touch it,
98
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,084
so I just threw worms
at it until it died.
99
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,571
Please, come on,
just take me to the doctor.
100
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:19,709
Or you can throw worms
at me until I die.
101
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,962
All right, fine.
102
00:04:23,047 --> 00:04:25,348
- Come on.
- Oh.
103
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:32,188
- Who is it?
- It's Charlie.
104
00:04:32,255 --> 00:04:33,940
Look, I know tonight's Julio's wedding.
105
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,442
I just want to make sure you're
not planning anything crazy.
106
00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:37,927
I'm not going to the wedding.
107
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,645
I'm going to my niece's birthday party
108
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:42,231
at Chuck E. Cheese, so please leave.
109
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,266
I'm not leaving till you open this door.
110
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,618
Fine.
111
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:52,041
Chuck E. Cheese, huh?
112
00:04:52,109 --> 00:04:54,276
Yeah, it's a new one
with bottle service.
113
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,962
They're trying something.
114
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,214
We're gonna talk.
115
00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:02,284
I don't know what there is
to talk about, Charlie.
116
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,970
You're going to that wedding.
117
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,973
Somebody's probably gonna get
hurt and you'll go to jail.
118
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:10,292
But maybe if you showed the
judge a picture of this place,
119
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,813
you could get off pleading insanity.
120
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,631
You're being ridiculous.
121
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,183
I'm going to Chuck E. Cheese.
122
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:23,990
So the gun's in case you want
to jump the line at Skee-Ball?
123
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,775
Charlie, I can explain.
124
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,693
I'm listening.
125
00:05:27,778 --> 00:05:30,947
The gun is in case I want to jump
the line at Dance Dance Revolution,
126
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,166
which is my jam.
127
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,034
You're not going to that wedding.
128
00:05:35,119 --> 00:05:36,318
Yes, I am.
129
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,487
Julio doesn't deserve to get married
130
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,990
and be happy while I sit
around in this shoebox
131
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:44,160
with a stoner watching me take a
shower through a hole in the wall.
132
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,461
Nolan does that?
133
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,964
And the guy on the other side, too.
134
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,099
Lacey, you already shot Julio once
135
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:51,968
and it didn't give you
any satisfaction then.
136
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,470
- Yes, it did.
- Well, not a lot.
137
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,389
- Yes, it did.
- Don't argue with me.
138
00:05:56,473 --> 00:05:59,525
I'm your therapist and I'm telling
you you're not satisfied.
139
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:02,779
Exactly, which is why I want
to shoot his other ball off.
140
00:06:02,846 --> 00:06:05,615
This bastard is about
to have everything.
141
00:06:05,682 --> 00:06:08,017
He is the lowest scum on earth
142
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,619
and someone loves him.
143
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:11,687
Nobody loves me.
144
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,739
What does that make me?
145
00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:16,192
Lacey, lots of people love you.
146
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,194
But nobody is in love with me.
147
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,745
Now, I'm going to that wedding
148
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:21,414
and nothing you can say will stop me.
149
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,500
I'm in love with you.
150
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,720
What?
151
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,672
It's true.
152
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,557
It's been building up for so long,
153
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:34,002
I didn't know how to tell you
or if you didn't believe me...
154
00:06:36,847 --> 00:06:38,764
I guess you believe me.
155
00:06:38,849 --> 00:06:42,318
My therapist loves me,
just like in all the songs.
156
00:06:44,086 --> 00:06:49,086
Anger Management 2x58
- Charlie Spends the Night with Lacey -
Original air date April 24, 2014
157
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:53,142
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com
158
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,172
Can I... can I have this?
159
00:06:58,494 --> 00:07:00,328
Call me old-fashioned,
160
00:07:00,413 --> 00:07:03,365
but I'm just not as turned on
by gunplay as I used to be.
161
00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:05,650
You know, deep down,
162
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:07,652
I knew you always loved me.
163
00:07:07,703 --> 00:07:09,955
All those times I was hitting on you
164
00:07:10,006 --> 00:07:12,290
and you had to pretend
like you weren't into it
165
00:07:12,341 --> 00:07:15,127
and you were all like,
"I'm your therapist."
166
00:07:15,178 --> 00:07:17,596
"I'll lose my license."
167
00:07:17,663 --> 00:07:20,765
Right, my license.
168
00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:22,968
I have a confession to make.
169
00:07:23,019 --> 00:07:26,555
Sometimes in therapy,
I'm not even listening.
170
00:07:28,024 --> 00:07:30,225
I'm shocked.
171
00:07:30,309 --> 00:07:33,979
I'm just fantasizing about us.
172
00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:37,782
I hope that's not what Ed's
doing when he's not listening.
173
00:07:41,037 --> 00:07:43,538
Look at us, just laughing together
174
00:07:43,623 --> 00:07:46,908
at the other people in the group.
175
00:07:46,993 --> 00:07:48,877
We're so above them now.
176
00:07:52,748 --> 00:07:55,333
- Who is it?
- It's me, Nolan.
177
00:07:55,384 --> 00:07:58,220
From next door and your therapy group.
178
00:07:58,304 --> 00:08:01,423
And from knocking on the door right now.
179
00:08:01,507 --> 00:08:03,141
- Should we tell him?
- No, no.
180
00:08:03,209 --> 00:08:04,609
It'll really hurt him.
181
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,381
Hey, Nolan. What's going on?
182
00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:13,885
I heard everything through one
of the holes I made in the wall.
183
00:08:13,936 --> 00:08:15,887
Can we tell him now?
184
00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:18,607
I don't think we have to.
185
00:08:18,691 --> 00:08:20,942
Forget it, Charlie.
I'm not gonna stay here
186
00:08:21,027 --> 00:08:23,228
and let you use your therapy
mind control to make me believe
187
00:08:23,279 --> 00:08:26,248
this is something it's not
because I'll fall for it.
188
00:08:26,332 --> 00:08:28,750
I'm leaving!
189
00:08:28,834 --> 00:08:30,702
I'll go talk to him.
190
00:08:30,753 --> 00:08:33,755
No, don't. This is our night.
191
00:08:33,839 --> 00:08:35,740
He's gonna be fine.
192
00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:38,176
In a couple minutes he'll be
high and playing video games
193
00:08:38,244 --> 00:08:41,963
and his friends Mario and Luigi
will get him through this.
194
00:08:42,048 --> 00:08:45,517
But I need to tell him
how beautiful our love is
195
00:08:45,584 --> 00:08:47,185
and how much it means to me.
196
00:08:47,253 --> 00:08:48,637
It'll take, like, 30 seconds.
197
00:08:48,721 --> 00:08:50,605
Sure, go over there
198
00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:53,942
because everyone's emotional distress
is more important than mine.
199
00:08:55,594 --> 00:08:58,763
Okay, fine, I'll stay. I'll stay.
200
00:08:58,814 --> 00:09:01,533
Hey, our first fight.
201
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,652
You know what this means?
202
00:09:03,736 --> 00:09:05,904
Makeup sex.
203
00:09:11,994 --> 00:09:14,913
As your mental health professional,
204
00:09:14,964 --> 00:09:16,948
I'm happy to say that
205
00:09:16,999 --> 00:09:19,834
you are in peak physical condition.
206
00:09:23,222 --> 00:09:24,923
Jordan!
207
00:09:24,974 --> 00:09:27,309
What is it now?
208
00:09:28,477 --> 00:09:29,928
I'm out of apple juice.
209
00:09:29,979 --> 00:09:31,980
Did you finish your chicken noodle soup?
210
00:09:32,064 --> 00:09:33,732
I don't like chicken and noodles.
211
00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:36,851
I like chicken and stars.
212
00:09:36,936 --> 00:09:40,272
The stars and the noodles
are made from the same thing.
213
00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:43,491
But why do the stars
taste so much better?
214
00:09:43,576 --> 00:09:46,361
I can't believe I have
to have you at my house.
215
00:09:46,445 --> 00:09:48,697
I didn't ask to come over here, okay?
216
00:09:48,781 --> 00:09:51,333
The doctor said someone
needed to take care of me.
217
00:09:53,502 --> 00:09:56,087
I really appreciate
that you're doing this.
218
00:09:56,155 --> 00:09:58,757
I know I can be a pain in the ass.
219
00:09:58,824 --> 00:10:01,042
You're not a pain in the ass.
220
00:10:02,878 --> 00:10:05,513
In fact, you're a lot less
disgusting when you're sick.
221
00:10:05,598 --> 00:10:07,716
That's what my mom always said.
222
00:10:09,852 --> 00:10:11,853
Can I get another blanket?
223
00:10:19,862 --> 00:10:22,314
Oh, look, it's got horsies.
224
00:10:23,482 --> 00:10:25,984
Now, get some sleep
225
00:10:26,035 --> 00:10:28,119
while I try to find a very tiny knife
226
00:10:28,187 --> 00:10:29,537
and cut your noodles into stars.
227
00:10:31,023 --> 00:10:32,624
Thank you.
228
00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:35,827
You know, you're like
a little Florence Henderson.
229
00:10:35,878 --> 00:10:37,579
Nightingale?
230
00:10:37,663 --> 00:10:40,382
Henderson. The mom from
"The Brady Bunch."
231
00:10:40,466 --> 00:10:42,217
She took care of all those kids.
232
00:10:42,301 --> 00:10:43,918
Half of them weren't even hers.
233
00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:46,371
You know, I think she was
banging one of them
234
00:10:46,422 --> 00:10:48,340
when the cameras were off.
235
00:10:49,842 --> 00:10:51,726
Good night.
236
00:10:53,712 --> 00:10:56,264
Bless you.
237
00:10:56,349 --> 00:10:58,883
Ugh, you're getting it
all over the room.
238
00:11:03,356 --> 00:11:05,323
Oh, crap.
239
00:11:05,391 --> 00:11:07,692
You know, I'm still
waiting on those stars.
240
00:11:10,062 --> 00:11:13,748
I don't understand. Why do you
want to wait before we have sex?
241
00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:16,067
- You said you loved me.
- I do.
242
00:11:16,118 --> 00:11:18,670
But I also like romance.
243
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:21,706
You know, holding hands,
long walks on the beach.
244
00:11:21,757 --> 00:11:25,243
You know, stuff on the beach with hands.
245
00:11:26,879 --> 00:11:29,047
We should do all that
246
00:11:29,098 --> 00:11:32,050
right after we screw
each other's brains out.
247
00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:33,885
Sorry.
248
00:11:33,936 --> 00:11:37,806
I mean make love
each other's brains out.
249
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:39,891
I know you like romance.
250
00:11:39,942 --> 00:11:42,811
Okay. Okay, look.
251
00:11:42,895 --> 00:11:46,147
I do like romance, but I
want to do this right.
252
00:11:46,232 --> 00:11:48,533
Like, do you have any massage oils?
253
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,784
Oh, yeah.
254
00:11:49,869 --> 00:11:51,769
Not the regular ones.
The ones that heat up.
255
00:11:51,821 --> 00:11:54,706
- 'Cause I got to have that.
- Oh, yup. Got it.
256
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:57,125
Okay, good, good. Good, good, good.
257
00:11:57,209 --> 00:12:00,044
What about condoms? I forgot condoms.
258
00:12:00,112 --> 00:12:01,546
Don't worry, I've got some.
259
00:12:01,613 --> 00:12:04,499
- Ribbed for your pleasure?
- Yes.
260
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:07,502
- Ribbed on the inside for mine?
- Yes.
261
00:12:07,586 --> 00:12:09,254
They have those?
262
00:12:09,305 --> 00:12:10,805
I just turn them inside out.
263
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:13,291
Smart.
264
00:12:13,342 --> 00:12:15,226
Ah, flavored.
265
00:12:15,294 --> 00:12:16,811
I insist on being considerate.
266
00:12:16,896 --> 00:12:18,229
I got it.
267
00:12:18,297 --> 00:12:20,231
- Cherry?
- Yes.
268
00:12:20,299 --> 00:12:21,266
- Chocolate?
- Yes.
269
00:12:21,317 --> 00:12:23,601
Mocha Frappuccino?
270
00:12:23,652 --> 00:12:25,270
No.
271
00:12:25,321 --> 00:12:27,482
Well, then how in the hell
are we supposed to have sex?
272
00:12:27,523 --> 00:12:29,190
Let us in.
273
00:12:29,275 --> 00:12:30,658
It's Patrick, Nolan, and Ed.
274
00:12:30,743 --> 00:12:33,328
- Go away.
- No, it's fine. I got this.
275
00:12:33,412 --> 00:12:35,580
It's the perfect time to explain that
this is not going to affect the group.
276
00:12:35,647 --> 00:12:38,700
Good luck. They're not gonna like it
now that I'm the queen of therapy
277
00:12:38,784 --> 00:12:41,202
and can tell them
to shut up whenever I want.
278
00:12:41,287 --> 00:12:44,255
Yeah, I'll deal with that
and you go get dressed.
279
00:12:44,323 --> 00:12:46,458
Okay. Shut up, everybody!
280
00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:53,998
Well, well, well.
281
00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:56,801
Looks like somebody's been
dipping his company pen
282
00:12:56,852 --> 00:12:58,520
in the India ink.
283
00:12:59,939 --> 00:13:01,306
I told you.
284
00:13:01,357 --> 00:13:02,840
Is she gonna get to be
queen of the group now
285
00:13:02,892 --> 00:13:04,342
and tell us all to shut up?
286
00:13:04,393 --> 00:13:08,229
Because if she is... I don't even know.
287
00:13:08,314 --> 00:13:10,848
No, she's not the queen.
288
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:13,201
We're not in love.
289
00:13:13,285 --> 00:13:15,570
I'm just pretending to keep
her away from that wedding.
290
00:13:15,654 --> 00:13:17,872
Just one more hour. Play along, guys.
291
00:13:17,957 --> 00:13:20,241
Explain again.
292
00:13:20,326 --> 00:13:22,627
Not clear.
293
00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:25,163
Still confused.
294
00:13:25,214 --> 00:13:28,199
I will explain it to her
in a little bit,
295
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:31,290
but for now, just pretend like you're
cool with everything and she'll buy it.
296
00:13:32,922 --> 00:13:34,973
Did you tell them about us, Charlie?
297
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,592
- Oh, yeah, congratulations.
- So happy for you.
298
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:40,378
Thank you. That means so much to me.
299
00:13:40,429 --> 00:13:42,564
Hey, she bought it!
300
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,900
Bought it?
301
00:13:48,737 --> 00:13:51,155
You lying bastard.
302
00:13:51,223 --> 00:13:53,558
Lacey, I never meant to hurt you.
303
00:13:53,609 --> 00:13:56,411
And clearly I forgot to factor in
304
00:13:56,495 --> 00:13:59,948
that Nolan is always high.
305
00:14:00,032 --> 00:14:02,400
What are you worried about?
She bought it.
306
00:14:08,909 --> 00:14:11,761
I got to be careful
with the cough syrup.
307
00:14:11,845 --> 00:14:14,597
I'm in recovery.
308
00:14:14,682 --> 00:14:17,217
You already drank half the bottle.
309
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:20,603
It was good.
310
00:14:20,688 --> 00:14:24,190
A delightful generic 2014
311
00:14:24,258 --> 00:14:27,610
from the rolling estates
of DrugCo Pharmaceuticals.
312
00:14:27,695 --> 00:14:29,612
Mmm.
313
00:14:29,697 --> 00:14:31,397
Well...
314
00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:35,535
can I interest you
315
00:14:35,602 --> 00:14:38,454
in an after-dinner expectorant, my dear?
316
00:14:45,212 --> 00:14:46,913
You know, Sean,
317
00:14:46,964 --> 00:14:49,782
this may be the drugs talking, but...
318
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:52,752
"Hello, I'm the drugs!"
319
00:14:57,341 --> 00:14:59,125
I think my fever broke.
320
00:14:59,176 --> 00:15:00,343
Why do you think that?
321
00:15:00,427 --> 00:15:02,428
Because I am covered in sweat.
322
00:15:02,479 --> 00:15:04,397
Maybe that's because
you're sitting next to me.
323
00:15:04,464 --> 00:15:06,399
Then why are you covered in sweat?
324
00:15:06,466 --> 00:15:09,152
Because I am in me.
325
00:15:09,236 --> 00:15:10,970
Shut up and feel my head.
326
00:15:12,806 --> 00:15:14,490
You know, I never noticed this before,
327
00:15:14,575 --> 00:15:17,860
but your skin is very clammy.
328
00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:21,314
And your eyes are so...
329
00:15:21,365 --> 00:15:23,750
red and watery.
330
00:15:29,823 --> 00:15:31,758
If I throw up on you,
don't take it personally.
331
00:15:31,825 --> 00:15:33,009
I never do.
332
00:15:35,262 --> 00:15:37,430
I can't believe you made me
think that you loved me.
333
00:15:37,497 --> 00:15:39,332
How could you do that to me?
334
00:15:39,383 --> 00:15:42,135
Lacey, I'm so sorry. I was desperate.
335
00:15:42,186 --> 00:15:43,603
I was trying to save you from yourself.
336
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:45,021
I didn't need to be saved.
337
00:15:45,105 --> 00:15:47,307
Even if I got caught,
I wasn't going to jail.
338
00:15:47,358 --> 00:15:50,693
Juries love me. You saw my boobs.
339
00:15:50,778 --> 00:15:52,695
I did.
340
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:54,564
They're very persuasive.
341
00:15:54,648 --> 00:15:58,401
But I think we've moved beyond
a boob-based justice system.
342
00:15:58,485 --> 00:16:02,322
Now it's more about money
and racial discrimination.
343
00:16:02,373 --> 00:16:05,691
Oh, my God. I feel like such a fool.
344
00:16:05,743 --> 00:16:07,627
I threw myself at you.
345
00:16:07,694 --> 00:16:09,295
You saw me naked.
346
00:16:09,363 --> 00:16:11,497
I had no idea that was gonna happen.
347
00:16:11,548 --> 00:16:14,334
And by the way, you get
naked way too quick,
348
00:16:14,385 --> 00:16:16,586
and that's coming from me.
349
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,537
You know what? Despite what you think,
350
00:16:18,589 --> 00:16:20,723
I do not get naked in front
of men that easy.
351
00:16:20,808 --> 00:16:23,176
Now I could never sit across
from you in therapy.
352
00:16:23,227 --> 00:16:25,378
Oh, Lacey, please don't quit.
353
00:16:25,429 --> 00:16:27,180
After all my help tonight,
354
00:16:27,231 --> 00:16:29,315
you're gonna need a lot of therapy.
355
00:16:29,383 --> 00:16:32,018
What can I do to make you
more comfortable in group?
356
00:16:32,069 --> 00:16:34,220
I can only think of one thing.
357
00:16:34,271 --> 00:16:36,439
Anything.
358
00:16:36,523 --> 00:16:39,108
Get naked in front of me.
359
00:16:39,193 --> 00:16:41,361
- Really?
- Yeah.
360
00:16:41,412 --> 00:16:44,030
Everything... pants to the ground.
361
00:16:44,081 --> 00:16:47,083
That's the only thing that'll
put us back on equal footing.
362
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:48,407
If that's what it's gonna take.
363
00:16:50,737 --> 00:16:53,072
This is worth it,
364
00:16:53,123 --> 00:16:54,924
'cause at least you
didn't go to that church
365
00:16:55,008 --> 00:16:56,742
and do something stupid.
366
00:16:56,794 --> 00:16:57,910
Like you just did?
367
00:17:02,099 --> 00:17:04,083
Pretty much.
368
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:08,952
- Ah.
- Oh, my God.
369
00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,704
What did we just do?
370
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:15,209
Didn't your parents
ever explain it to you?
371
00:17:15,293 --> 00:17:17,077
Because I can walk you through it again
372
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,963
very slowly with a pointer.
373
00:17:20,031 --> 00:17:23,050
This is terrible.
374
00:17:23,134 --> 00:17:25,836
Don't act like you
didn't have a good time.
375
00:17:25,887 --> 00:17:29,506
No, I loved it. That's
why it's so terrible.
376
00:17:29,557 --> 00:17:32,893
Baby, stop denying what you're feeling.
377
00:17:32,977 --> 00:17:34,561
You don't know what I'm feeling.
378
00:17:34,646 --> 00:17:36,647
You didn't sleep with you.
379
00:17:36,714 --> 00:17:38,515
The only reason this happened
380
00:17:38,566 --> 00:17:41,485
was because I was half crazy
off of cough medicine
381
00:17:41,552 --> 00:17:44,605
and delusional from having
an insanely high fever,
382
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:47,107
which right now is 102.
383
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,587
That's still three degrees
till I know what I'm doing.
384
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,229
Let's go.
385
00:17:54,749 --> 00:17:56,917
Lacey, stop.
386
00:17:57,001 --> 00:17:58,836
You don't want to go in there
and ruin that wedding.
387
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:02,172
Just because I'm gonna bash in
Julio's face with a tire iron
388
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,509
doesn't mean that people still can't
hang around and have a good time.
389
00:18:07,011 --> 00:18:09,513
I think it does.
390
00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:11,215
It puts a damper on the festivities.
391
00:18:11,266 --> 00:18:14,251
At the very least, it changes the vibe.
392
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,854
- You don't know what he did, Charlie.
- He cheated on you.
393
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:19,139
You shot his ball off.
Why ruin his wedding?
394
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,942
You're already sending him
off on a one-ball honeymoon.
395
00:18:22,026 --> 00:18:23,894
It was worse than that. Way worse, okay?
396
00:18:23,945 --> 00:18:25,195
You don't understand.
397
00:18:25,263 --> 00:18:27,564
Make me understand.
398
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:29,950
He hit me, okay?
399
00:18:30,034 --> 00:18:31,618
And no one should ever hit anybody.
400
00:18:31,703 --> 00:18:33,436
So if you mention this in group,
401
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:36,790
I swear to God, I will beat you
within an inch of your life.
402
00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,792
Why didn't you tell me
so I could help you with this?
403
00:18:38,877 --> 00:18:41,444
Because I didn't want to
create a lot of drama, okay?
404
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,498
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going into that wedding
405
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:47,334
to beat this man in front of
God and everyone he knows.
406
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,470
Give me the tire iron.
407
00:18:49,554 --> 00:18:51,138
Okay, good, you hit him with that.
I'll find something else.
408
00:18:51,222 --> 00:18:53,623
Lacey, wait.
409
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,726
I know you'd love to kick his ass,
410
00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:58,228
but what I think you need
to do is forgive him.
411
00:18:58,296 --> 00:19:00,597
Forgive him?
412
00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:03,183
- Give me back my tire iron.
- No.
413
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,486
This isn't for him. This is for you.
414
00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:07,637
Until you forgive him and let this go,
415
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,773
you're never gonna have
any peace of mind.
416
00:19:09,824 --> 00:19:12,359
- Then we might as well go home.
- No.
417
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,111
Don't you know the best
time to forgive somebody
418
00:19:14,162 --> 00:19:15,863
for a lot of horrible things?
419
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,034
Right in the middle of their wedding.
420
00:19:24,488 --> 00:19:27,424
Julio!
421
00:19:27,491 --> 00:19:29,927
Don't worry, I just came to forgive you.
422
00:19:32,347 --> 00:19:34,681
I forgive you for cheating
on me with that ho.
423
00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,602
I also forgive you for taking the money
424
00:19:38,669 --> 00:19:40,437
I gave you for your dog's surgery
425
00:19:40,504 --> 00:19:43,006
and using it to buy
breast implants for that ho.
426
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:47,361
No, not the bride ho.
427
00:19:47,445 --> 00:19:49,196
The maid of honor ho.
428
00:19:52,784 --> 00:19:54,818
I also forgive you for posting
429
00:19:54,869 --> 00:19:57,354
those horrible naked photos of me online
430
00:19:57,405 --> 00:20:00,657
when you knew there were a lot of
really good ones to choose from.
431
00:20:02,877 --> 00:20:04,494
I forgive you for listening to me
432
00:20:04,546 --> 00:20:06,663
when I told you to take ecstasy
433
00:20:06,714 --> 00:20:08,999
and make love to your friend Todd.
434
00:20:10,534 --> 00:20:12,702
It wasn't a turn-on for me after all.
435
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,054
Hey, Todd.
436
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,709
But mostly, I forgive you
437
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,395
for being a heartless bastard
438
00:20:21,479 --> 00:20:23,546
who wasted two years of my life.
439
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:27,217
And I wish nothing
but the best for your bride.
440
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,986
By the way, girlfriend,
441
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:31,104
watch out when he comes home drunk.
442
00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:32,739
He likes to lead with his left.
443
00:20:32,824 --> 00:20:35,075
Oh, yeah, he won't use his right hand.
444
00:20:35,159 --> 00:20:38,028
That's his porn hand.
445
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:39,913
He likes the granny stuff.
446
00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:46,753
Wow.
447
00:20:46,838 --> 00:20:48,255
So, do you feel better?
448
00:20:48,339 --> 00:20:49,906
Yeah.
449
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,842
Forgiveness is amazing.
450
00:20:51,909 --> 00:20:54,077
I should totally forgive my mother
451
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,430
for all the crap she did
to me when I was a child.
452
00:20:56,514 --> 00:20:59,549
Oh, she's being honored
at a charity luncheon tomorrow.
453
00:20:59,601 --> 00:21:02,085
- I'll do it there.
- You know what? You know what?
454
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:05,222
I think we've had enough
forgiveness for one week.
455
00:21:05,273 --> 00:21:08,275
Yeah, maybe you're right.
456
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,928
By any chance, is she having a
big birthday party anytime soon?
457
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,398
'Cause invite me.
I'd like to see that, too.
458
00:21:14,827 --> 00:21:22,827
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.addic7ed.com