1
00:00:00,132 --> 00:00:01,654
Okay, guys.

2
00:00:01,703 --> 00:00:03,311
Last week we talked about

3
00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:05,483
clearing out our emotional closets.

4
00:00:05,516 --> 00:00:07,236
There's a lot of old stuff

5
00:00:07,261 --> 00:00:09,763
that you're hanging on to and today...

6
00:00:09,830 --> 00:00:11,398
well, today we're just gonna burn it.

7
00:00:11,465 --> 00:00:14,267
- Ed.
- Well, I brought this.

8
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:22,309
Junk mail, food wrappers, paper plates?

9
00:00:22,376 --> 00:00:24,144
How does that represent your anger, Ed?

10
00:00:24,211 --> 00:00:27,581
I was angry because I forgot to
clean out the backseat of my car.

11
00:00:29,517 --> 00:00:33,019
Well, at least you put no
effort into this whatsoever.

12
00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:34,354
Which is the best way to<i> not</i> get better

13
00:00:34,422 --> 00:00:36,056
as soon as possible.

14
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,925
<i>De nada.</i>

15
00:00:38,993 --> 00:00:42,128
Patrick, what have you held on
to you'd like to get rid of?

16
00:00:42,196 --> 00:00:45,398
It's in this envelope
and I need to get rid of it

17
00:00:45,466 --> 00:00:48,268
because every time I look
at it, I get furious.

18
00:00:48,336 --> 00:00:50,136
Well, good for you, Patrick. What is it?

19
00:00:50,204 --> 00:00:52,806
It's your last bill.

20
00:00:52,873 --> 00:00:56,476
I was 10 minutes late to group
and you didn't prorate it.

21
00:00:56,544 --> 00:00:58,945
I keep telling you, you don't pay less

22
00:00:59,013 --> 00:01:01,681
when<i> you're</i> late,
you pay less when<i> I'm</i> late.

23
00:01:01,749 --> 00:01:04,584
Or if you can prove that I'm
sleeping behind my sunglasses.

24
00:01:04,652 --> 00:01:06,453
I'm putting it in anyway.

25
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:07,887
Lacey?

26
00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:09,889
Oh, I brought a bunch of CDs.

27
00:01:14,695 --> 00:01:17,831
Okay, clearly everyone has confused

28
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:21,134
this assignment about throwing
away emotional garbage with...

29
00:01:21,202 --> 00:01:23,036
garbage garbage.

30
00:01:23,104 --> 00:01:26,206
Not emotional? I kept
those in my nightstand.

31
00:01:26,273 --> 00:01:27,874
Seeing Lil Wayne's face every time

32
00:01:27,942 --> 00:01:31,177
I reached for a condom
was very traumatic.

33
00:01:31,245 --> 00:01:34,147
You have a mix CD from Sean?

34
00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:36,416
"Sean Healey's music to bang by.

35
00:01:36,484 --> 00:01:38,852
Volume three. Ethnic chicks."

36
00:01:40,554 --> 00:01:42,756
Okay, that one's very emotional.

37
00:01:42,823 --> 00:01:44,658
I hate your stupid neighbor Sean,

38
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but it was pretty fun to bang by.

39
00:01:47,161 --> 00:01:49,241
You know what, Lacey?
Sean is my good friend

40
00:01:49,263 --> 00:01:51,263
and I don't think he'd like
that I know about this.

41
00:01:51,265 --> 00:01:54,000
So I'm just gonna hold on to it.

42
00:01:54,068 --> 00:01:56,736
Embarrass the hell outta him later.
( Clears throat )

43
00:01:56,804 --> 00:02:01,444
Nolan, I don't see
anything in your hand.

44
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,280
To pass a urine test
for a new job I'm up for.

45
00:02:04,348 --> 00:02:07,750
So I brought in this.

46
00:02:07,818 --> 00:02:10,486
Oh, good for you, Nolan. I'm
glad you've made this decision.

47
00:02:10,554 --> 00:02:12,789
Yeah, I figured I'd get rid
of half of this now

48
00:02:12,856 --> 00:02:14,791
and burn the rest at home.

49
00:02:14,858 --> 00:02:17,493
One joint at a time.

50
00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:19,762
Nolan, if you smoke any
weed in the next two days,

51
00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:21,230
you'll never pass that drug test.

52
00:02:21,298 --> 00:02:23,099
Yeah, Nolan, just throw it in the can

53
00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:25,735
and let's smoke this place up.

54
00:02:25,803 --> 00:02:27,637
I just don't think I can quit

55
00:02:27,705 --> 00:02:29,739
and I only got two days until the test.

56
00:02:29,807 --> 00:02:31,341
Well, of course you can. You know why?

57
00:02:31,408 --> 00:02:33,009
Because all these people
are gonna help you.

58
00:02:33,077 --> 00:02:34,877
Smoke the weed? Damn straight!

59
00:02:34,945 --> 00:02:38,581
Throw the bag in the fire and
let's smoke this place up.

60
00:02:38,649 --> 00:02:41,551
I was talking about emotional support.

61
00:02:41,618 --> 00:02:45,488
And since our earlier
experiment was a total fail,

62
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I want each of you to give up something

63
00:02:47,057 --> 00:02:49,492
for the next two days to help Nolan.

64
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,480
Lacey, you're gonna give up shopping.

65
00:02:52,587 --> 00:02:54,907
Are you sure? Because
the place where I shop,

66
00:02:54,932 --> 00:02:56,532
for every piece of clothing you buy,

67
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,535
they give a penny to a kid in Thailand.

68
00:02:59,603 --> 00:03:01,164
That's not charity, that's what the kid

69
00:03:01,205 --> 00:03:03,106
gets paid to make the clothes.

70
00:03:03,173 --> 00:03:06,242
And you're gonna
take that away from them?

71
00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:08,044
Yes.

72
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,514
No shopping.

73
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,683
And, Ed, you're gonna give up beer.

74
00:03:13,751 --> 00:03:17,954
Damn it! Can I just
give up shopping, too?

75
00:03:18,022 --> 00:03:19,789
Wouldn't that be impossible for you?

76
00:03:19,857 --> 00:03:22,325
I mean, look at you,
a new outfit every decade?

77
00:03:22,393 --> 00:03:25,528
You're a fashionista.

78
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,330
And, Patrick,

79
00:03:27,398 --> 00:03:29,732
you are gonna give up sarcasm.

80
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,567
( Scoffs )
Okay.

81
00:03:31,635 --> 00:03:35,605
Like I can't go through
a day without sarcasm.

82
00:03:35,672 --> 00:03:38,341
Wait a minute. Maybe I can't.

83
00:03:38,409 --> 00:03:40,176
I have a suggestion.

84
00:03:40,244 --> 00:03:42,445
You're allowed to say anything except

85
00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:44,273
"Let's smoke this place up."

86
00:03:46,283 --> 00:03:48,451
Yeah. That's what I thought.

87
00:03:51,388 --> 00:03:54,657
So, Paul, six months from now,
you're gonna be out of prison

88
00:03:54,725 --> 00:03:57,765
and dealing with everyday stuff
that can cause a lot of anger.

89
00:03:57,828 --> 00:04:00,663
So why don't we try some role-playing?

90
00:04:00,731 --> 00:04:03,666
Let's say I just served you some soup.

91
00:04:03,734 --> 00:04:05,501
Here you go.

92
00:04:05,569 --> 00:04:08,738
Thank you. This looks great.

93
00:04:08,806 --> 00:04:11,541
- How is it?
- It's the worst bowl of soup

94
00:04:11,608 --> 00:04:13,128
you've ever had in your life.

95
00:04:13,143 --> 00:04:14,877
You think she spit in it.

96
00:04:14,945 --> 00:04:16,979
( Spits )
If you think you can bring me a bowl

97
00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:18,481
of this crap,
you're out of your damn mind.

98
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,949
Now take your ass back in that kitchen

99
00:04:20,017 --> 00:04:21,384
and bring me something
I ain't gonna choke on.

100
00:04:21,452 --> 00:04:23,786
Or else you ain't getting
none of my money, bitch.

101
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:28,024
Uh, sorry,

102
00:04:28,092 --> 00:04:30,059
we should have mentioned
this isn't a restaurant.

103
00:04:30,127 --> 00:04:31,594
You're talking to your girlfriend.

104
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:34,263
Yeah, I know.

105
00:04:35,499 --> 00:04:37,100
Oh. Charlie?

106
00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:40,736
We've got some work to do.

107
00:04:42,229 --> 00:04:44,950
By the way, it's my
girlfriend's birthday today

108
00:04:44,975 --> 00:04:46,509
and I made her a present.

109
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:48,211
I love her so much.

110
00:04:48,278 --> 00:04:50,279
Sounds like it.

111
00:04:50,347 --> 00:04:52,849
Wow.

112
00:04:52,916 --> 00:04:55,118
Where did you find pearls in prison?

113
00:04:55,185 --> 00:04:57,265
Well, actually, those are
rat teeth that I filed down

114
00:04:57,287 --> 00:04:59,047
into perfect little circles.

115
00:05:00,224 --> 00:05:03,893
Oh. Well, this is the most elegant

116
00:05:03,961 --> 00:05:07,530
rodent-based jewelry I've ever seen.

117
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,165
Don't you think, Jordan?

118
00:05:09,233 --> 00:05:11,200
I don't know, I stopped looking.

119
00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:15,505
Charlie, you think
you can give 'em to her?

120
00:05:15,572 --> 00:05:16,939
You're the only guy I trust.

121
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:20,676
Sure, Paul. You got it.

122
00:05:20,744 --> 00:05:23,104
Oh, and when you get out of here
there's a little taco place

123
00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:25,615
on the corner that has
enough potential jewelry

124
00:05:25,682 --> 00:05:27,243
to keep you in business for years.

125
00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:32,121
( Knock on door )

126
00:05:37,794 --> 00:05:39,962
- Can I help you?
- Maureen?

127
00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:41,731
- Yes.
- Yeah, hi.

128
00:05:41,798 --> 00:05:44,200
I'm Charlie Goodson.

129
00:05:44,268 --> 00:05:47,389
I'm Paul's therapist at the
prison prerelease clinic.

130
00:05:47,437 --> 00:05:49,939
He asked me to drop off
this birthday gift for you.

131
00:05:50,007 --> 00:05:53,176
Hmm. Is it another pair of
earrings made out of rat teeth?

132
00:05:54,811 --> 00:05:58,012
No, but that should go
beautifully with those.

133
00:05:59,283 --> 00:06:01,117
Come on in.

134
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:05,888
So you're his therapist, right?

135
00:06:07,291 --> 00:06:09,225
Can I tell you something in confidence?

136
00:06:09,293 --> 00:06:11,160
Of course.

137
00:06:11,228 --> 00:06:13,996
Well, I want to break up with Paul.

138
00:06:14,064 --> 00:06:17,066
Oh. Well, when you do,

139
00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:19,468
I wouldn't be serving him soup.

140
00:06:19,536 --> 00:06:23,339
Maybe you could help me.
Like prepare him a little.

141
00:06:23,407 --> 00:06:25,641
I mean, he's gonna go
ballistic once he finds out.

142
00:06:25,709 --> 00:06:29,412
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
I really can't do that.

143
00:06:29,479 --> 00:06:31,881
I'm just his therapist. I don't get
involved in his personal matters.

144
00:06:31,949 --> 00:06:35,918
You just hand-delivered a birthday
present to his girlfriend.

145
00:06:35,986 --> 00:06:39,021
I do one vermin-toothed delivery a year.

146
00:06:40,457 --> 00:06:41,818
Look, I'd really appreciate it.

147
00:06:41,858 --> 00:06:43,259
I told him I wasn't
gonna make a decision

148
00:06:43,327 --> 00:06:45,027
about our relationship until he got out,

149
00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:46,462
but I've already made up my mind.

150
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,231
I'm sorry you feel that way.

151
00:06:48,298 --> 00:06:50,533
I mean, Paul seems
like a pretty decent guy

152
00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:53,236
other than the armed
robberies and stuff.

153
00:06:53,303 --> 00:06:55,705
He's awful

154
00:06:55,772 --> 00:06:57,773
and he was lousy in the sack.

155
00:06:57,841 --> 00:07:01,611
I haven't even had
bad sex in three years.

156
00:07:01,678 --> 00:07:03,846
- You want a drink?
- I'd love to,

157
00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:06,914
but I should... I should really get going.

158
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:09,418
Yeah. You probably don't wanna be here.

159
00:07:09,486 --> 00:07:11,988
It's my birthday, I'm super horny,

160
00:07:12,055 --> 00:07:14,090
and I'm about to start drinking.

161
00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:19,128
Maybe just a little one.

162
00:07:21,565 --> 00:07:23,925
Oh, look, I got some
music we can listen to.

163
00:07:25,168 --> 00:07:30,168
Anger Management 2x59
Charlie Screws a Prisoners Girlfriend

164
00:07:30,423 --> 00:07:32,757
The world is so ugly
when you're not high.

165
00:07:32,825 --> 00:07:37,162
This afternoon I watched a plastic
bag dancing in the wind for an hour.

166
00:07:37,229 --> 00:07:39,097
Nothing.

167
00:07:39,165 --> 00:07:41,966
You can do it, Nolan. It's
just another 24 hours.

168
00:07:42,034 --> 00:07:44,154
What's the matter with you?
I've gone 24 hours

169
00:07:44,203 --> 00:07:46,137
without a beer, I'm doing fine.

170
00:07:46,205 --> 00:07:50,008
Give me another one of
these nonalcoholic beers.

171
00:07:50,076 --> 00:07:53,278
You want it with a whiskey chaser again?

172
00:07:53,346 --> 00:07:55,507
I don't know what you're talking about.

173
00:07:58,384 --> 00:08:00,585
Right. Anything for you two?

174
00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,754
I'll have five orders of buffalo wings.

175
00:08:02,822 --> 00:08:05,357
Oh, wait. I'm not high.

176
00:08:05,424 --> 00:08:07,325
I'm good.

177
00:08:07,393 --> 00:08:10,228
- Another gin and tonic for you?
- Yes, please.

178
00:08:10,296 --> 00:08:12,764
Nolan said you'd given
up being sarcastic.

179
00:08:12,832 --> 00:08:16,101
- How's that going?
- Oh, it's just the most fantastic...

180
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:18,703
it's hard. It's really hard.

181
00:08:18,771 --> 00:08:21,740
Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

182
00:08:21,807 --> 00:08:24,542
There was a lot of traffic
coming back from Beverly Hills.

183
00:08:24,610 --> 00:08:26,111
Is that a new purse?

184
00:08:26,178 --> 00:08:28,747
Yeah, I just picked it up
from Neiman Marcus.

185
00:08:28,814 --> 00:08:31,583
You're supposed to be
supporting me by not shopping.

186
00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:34,219
I am. Shopping involves
going to the register

187
00:08:34,286 --> 00:08:37,188
and paying and I skipped that part.

188
00:08:37,256 --> 00:08:39,424
Oh, shoplifting, what a wonderful...

189
00:08:39,492 --> 00:08:42,927
damn it. Stealing is wrong.

190
00:08:42,995 --> 00:08:45,029
This is just so stupid.

191
00:08:45,097 --> 00:08:47,065
I'm miserable, Patrick's miserable,

192
00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:48,694
and you two are just finding loopholes.

193
00:08:48,701 --> 00:08:50,402
Well...

194
00:08:50,469 --> 00:08:52,337
I got my own loophole.

195
00:08:52,405 --> 00:08:55,340
Don't smoke that, Nolan.
You'll fail the drug test.

196
00:08:55,408 --> 00:08:57,041
I'm not gonna smoke it.

197
00:09:03,682 --> 00:09:05,550
Yes, I am.

198
00:09:09,355 --> 00:09:11,656
- Hey.
- Hey.

199
00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:13,725
How'd it go with Paul's girlfriend?

200
00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:15,873
Did you give her the birthday gift?

201
00:09:15,928 --> 00:09:17,695
Yeah, I gave her the gift.

202
00:09:17,763 --> 00:09:19,197
Did she like it?

203
00:09:19,265 --> 00:09:23,168
She said it was exactly what she needed.

204
00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:27,772
How could any woman like
something so disgusting?

205
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,608
I mean, just the idea of having
something like that on my body...

206
00:09:30,676 --> 00:09:33,511
Hey, she liked it, okay?

207
00:09:33,579 --> 00:09:35,747
The rat tooth necklace.

208
00:09:37,783 --> 00:09:39,584
Hey, Paul.

209
00:09:39,652 --> 00:09:42,020
I hear Maureen liked the present.

210
00:09:42,087 --> 00:09:43,888
Well, she must not have
liked it too much.

211
00:09:43,956 --> 00:09:47,316
She sent me an email saying she
had sex with some guy that night.

212
00:09:48,327 --> 00:09:50,595
Wow. That's... that's rough.

213
00:09:52,398 --> 00:09:54,999
Did she say who?

214
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:57,635
Wait a minute.
You were there last night.

215
00:09:59,138 --> 00:10:01,072
Yeah.

216
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:02,574
Did you see anybody?

217
00:10:05,077 --> 00:10:07,011
Yes, yes.

218
00:10:07,079 --> 00:10:10,615
I saw a super tall Asian
guy runnin' out the back.

219
00:10:10,683 --> 00:10:13,284
Damn it! That's her brother-in-law.

220
00:10:13,352 --> 00:10:15,232
I knew I couldn't trust that dude.

221
00:10:16,121 --> 00:10:19,257
No, no, no, no. This guy had a mohawk.

222
00:10:19,325 --> 00:10:22,026
An Asian with a mohawk?

223
00:10:22,094 --> 00:10:23,854
Yeah, that's Phil, all right.

224
00:10:25,931 --> 00:10:27,165
I'm gonna kill him.

225
00:10:27,192 --> 00:10:28,513
Look, we can't assume it was him.

226
00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:29,934
There's a lot of...

227
00:10:30,002 --> 00:10:32,937
tall Asian guys
with mohawks walking around.

228
00:10:33,005 --> 00:10:35,540
Besides, this guy was wearing

229
00:10:35,608 --> 00:10:38,076
wooden clogs and a kilt.

230
00:10:39,211 --> 00:10:40,845
Yeah, that's not Phil.

231
00:10:42,515 --> 00:10:44,249
Oh, thank God.

232
00:10:45,751 --> 00:10:48,520
Listen, you don't want
to wind up back here

233
00:10:48,587 --> 00:10:51,155
because you got mad
and then beat some guy up

234
00:10:51,223 --> 00:10:53,691
who just had a momentary
lapse of judgment.

235
00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:55,727
Or knew exactly what he was doing

236
00:10:55,794 --> 00:10:57,495
and chose to do it anyway.

237
00:10:57,563 --> 00:11:00,265
Why are you making stuff up?

238
00:11:00,332 --> 00:11:02,934
Well, listen, I got to
get back to kitchen duty.

239
00:11:03,002 --> 00:11:04,603
Did you get that message from my lawyer?

240
00:11:04,637 --> 00:11:06,371
Yeah, why does the prison board
want to meet with us tomorrow?

241
00:11:06,438 --> 00:11:08,573
I don't know. I've been a model prisoner

242
00:11:08,641 --> 00:11:10,742
with a record of good
behavior and no violence.

243
00:11:10,809 --> 00:11:13,745
I deserve to get out. So I can
bust that dude's head in.

244
00:11:14,947 --> 00:11:16,915
( Sighs )
Okay, I hear you.

245
00:11:16,982 --> 00:11:19,684
Luckily, we've got six months
to work on your anger.

246
00:11:19,752 --> 00:11:24,389
We were gonna do a role-play tomorrow
about bad spaghetti dinners,

247
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:26,617
but I think we can go straight
to cheating girlfriends.

248
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,260
Think that'll help?

249
00:11:29,328 --> 00:11:31,663
I hope so.

250
00:11:31,730 --> 00:11:34,065
Believe me, it's as important
to me as it is to you.

251
00:11:37,208 --> 00:11:41,211
So, Paul, we know you're set
for a six-month release date.

252
00:11:41,278 --> 00:11:43,913
But we've been reviewing your behavior.

253
00:11:43,981 --> 00:11:46,316
I'm sorry, Mr. Adams.
Before you continue,

254
00:11:46,383 --> 00:11:48,384
I'd just like to say that...

255
00:11:48,452 --> 00:11:51,921
during Paul's time here,
he's learned forgiveness,

256
00:11:51,989 --> 00:11:55,024
compassion, and most importantly

257
00:11:55,092 --> 00:11:57,994
to put bros before hos.

258
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:04,634
Well, thank you for that
confusing interruption.

259
00:12:04,702 --> 00:12:07,137
But I was going to congratulate Paul

260
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:09,205
because he's going to be
released this afternoon.

261
00:12:09,273 --> 00:12:10,940
What?

262
00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,709
That's awesome, isn't it, Charlie?

263
00:12:12,776 --> 00:12:15,044
Well, yeah. That's great.

264
00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:17,714
This is a big moment for us.

265
00:12:17,781 --> 00:12:18,815
Can I have a second
alone with my patient?

266
00:12:18,883 --> 00:12:20,416
Oh, sure. Go ahead.

267
00:12:23,354 --> 00:12:27,393
Thanks, Charlie. This is
the answer to my prayers.

268
00:12:27,461 --> 00:12:29,262
It's a trap. Tell 'em no.

269
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:31,097
What?

270
00:12:31,165 --> 00:12:34,200
They want to kick you out before you're
ready so you wind up back in here.

271
00:12:34,268 --> 00:12:36,069
That's how they make their money.

272
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:38,938
It's like a pyramid scheme, but they
use prisoners instead of some...

273
00:12:39,006 --> 00:12:41,875
immune-boosting cactus juice.

274
00:12:41,942 --> 00:12:44,511
- You're being used.
- I don't know what you're saying, Charlie.

275
00:12:44,578 --> 00:12:46,379
But I'm ready to get outta here.

276
00:12:46,447 --> 00:12:49,482
Are you? You don't know what
it's like on the outside.

277
00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:51,484
- You've been in prison for how long?
- Three years.

278
00:12:51,552 --> 00:12:55,288
Three years. Well, the
whole world has changed.

279
00:12:55,356 --> 00:12:57,657
How?

280
00:12:57,725 --> 00:12:59,025
How?

281
00:13:00,728 --> 00:13:02,128
Stamps are more expensive.

282
00:13:04,188 --> 00:13:06,308
I see right through what
you're trying to do, Charlie.

283
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:08,968
- You do?
- Yeah.

284
00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:11,838
You care about me.

285
00:13:13,607 --> 00:13:15,842
And I appreciate it.

286
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:18,177
You might be the best friend I ever had.

287
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:20,813
Please remember that.

288
00:13:24,852 --> 00:13:26,352
Mr. Miller.

289
00:13:29,107 --> 00:13:32,268
Patrick. What are you doing here?

290
00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:34,227
I came to support
you for your drug test.

291
00:13:34,295 --> 00:13:37,030
- Why?
- 'Cause there's nothing in the world

292
00:13:37,097 --> 00:13:39,399
I would rather be doing.

293
00:13:39,466 --> 00:13:41,801
God, I missed sarcasm so much.

294
00:13:41,869 --> 00:13:44,504
I don't think I'm gonna
pass the test, Patrick.

295
00:13:44,572 --> 00:13:45,872
I took a couple hits last night,

296
00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:47,707
but I'm hoping it won't show up.

297
00:13:47,775 --> 00:13:51,144
That's why I'm doing you a solid

298
00:13:51,211 --> 00:13:53,613
by giving you a liquid.

299
00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:58,351
Oh, great. Something to
drink to make me pee.

300
00:13:58,419 --> 00:14:01,087
No! No, no! That's my pee.

301
00:14:01,155 --> 00:14:02,956
It's drug-free pee.

302
00:14:03,023 --> 00:14:06,726
Oh! That's really nice.

303
00:14:06,794 --> 00:14:09,729
Thanks, Patrick. I'll give
you back what I don't use.

304
00:14:13,677 --> 00:14:15,878
Ed. What are you doing here?

305
00:14:15,903 --> 00:14:18,972
Here. I came by to help you.

306
00:14:19,039 --> 00:14:21,680
I put that little present
together at 3:00 this morning,

307
00:14:21,742 --> 00:14:23,742
5:00 this morning,
and 7:00 this morning.

308
00:14:25,245 --> 00:14:27,413
Oh, so you decided to pee in a jar

309
00:14:27,481 --> 00:14:30,281
and not all over the toilet
seat at Charlie's house.

310
00:14:30,754 --> 00:14:32,394
For the record, that wasn't sarcasm.

311
00:14:32,419 --> 00:14:34,988
That was a desperate
plea for a man to aim!

312
00:14:37,524 --> 00:14:39,685
Well, thanks, Ed. It means a lot.

313
00:14:45,633 --> 00:14:47,367
Here, Nolan.

314
00:14:47,434 --> 00:14:49,135
Lacey, you came here, too?

315
00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:51,170
This is like "It's a Wonderful Life,"

316
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,740
but with pee.

317
00:14:53,807 --> 00:14:56,876
That's a very expensive perfume bottle.

318
00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:58,864
I just stole it from Barney's.
You can keep it.

319
00:15:02,816 --> 00:15:05,752
Mr. Johnson.

320
00:15:05,819 --> 00:15:08,554
- It's your turn.
- Okay.

321
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:12,725
Hey, uh... after, maybe we can,

322
00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:16,562
I don't know,
go shopping or grab a beer?

323
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:18,431
Oh, absolutely. We'd love to.

324
00:15:20,884 --> 00:15:23,045
You think he realizes
you were being sarcastic?

325
00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:24,404
He has no idea.

326
00:15:27,174 --> 00:15:30,677
Hi, Maureen. This is Paul's
therapist, Charlie Goodson,

327
00:15:30,744 --> 00:15:35,114
leaving another message
to remind you again

328
00:15:35,182 --> 00:15:38,885
that all I did was stop by,
and drop off the necklace.

329
00:15:38,952 --> 00:15:41,654
Thanks. Return a call, woman!

330
00:15:42,923 --> 00:15:46,592
Charlie, I am in big trouble.

331
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:49,060
You're in big trouble? You should
hear what I'm going through.

332
00:15:49,063 --> 00:15:52,031
Some guy named Paul Wesley
who just got out of prison

333
00:15:52,099 --> 00:15:54,367
left me a voice-mail saying that
I hooked up with his girlfriend

334
00:15:54,435 --> 00:15:56,335
and he's gonna kill me.

335
00:15:56,403 --> 00:15:59,772
Suddenly what I'm going
through doesn't seem so bad.

336
00:16:02,076 --> 00:16:04,310
- How did that happen?
- I don't know!

337
00:16:04,378 --> 00:16:06,646
Apparently I hooked up
with some chick named Maureen

338
00:16:06,714 --> 00:16:09,816
who I don't even remember
and he found out.

339
00:16:09,883 --> 00:16:12,251
- How?
- I'm such an idiot!

340
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:15,888
I'm so stupid, I left one of my
"to bang by" CDs at her place.

341
00:16:18,659 --> 00:16:20,093
Well, that's a bummer.

342
00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:25,307
How did I let my life get
so outta control like this?

343
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,066
I don't know,

344
00:16:27,134 --> 00:16:29,936
but admitting you have
a problem is the first step.

345
00:16:31,305 --> 00:16:33,172
Look, maybe I can help you.

346
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,041
How?

347
00:16:35,109 --> 00:16:37,710
Well, if this Paul Wesley guy

348
00:16:37,778 --> 00:16:39,545
went through the prison system,
I'm sure I can find him

349
00:16:39,613 --> 00:16:42,048
and maybe I can get him
to go easy on you.

350
00:16:42,116 --> 00:16:44,016
And you think that would work?

351
00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:45,818
It might.
( Exhales )

352
00:16:45,886 --> 00:16:48,888
I mean, to him, you're
just a faceless stranger.

353
00:16:48,956 --> 00:16:52,592
It's not like you're some guy who
he trusted and betrayed him.

354
00:16:52,659 --> 00:16:55,300
- Right. - <i>That's</i>
the kind of guy he'd really wanna kill.

355
00:16:56,399 --> 00:16:58,640
Dude, thank you so much for doing this.
I don't...

356
00:16:58,665 --> 00:17:01,400
I can't... I can't believe that I am
in this much trouble.

357
00:17:01,468 --> 00:17:04,468
I wish I could at least remember
having sex with this woman.

358
00:17:05,472 --> 00:17:07,673
Stop trying. You're never going to.

359
00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:13,117
( Knock on door )

360
00:17:17,389 --> 00:17:20,090
Thanks for coming over, guys.

361
00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:21,625
I got some great news.

362
00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:23,827
- So, did you get the job?
- No.

363
00:17:23,895 --> 00:17:25,963
How could you fail?

364
00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:27,598
We all brought you clean urine.

365
00:17:27,666 --> 00:17:29,066
Unless...

366
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:30,434
oh, no.

367
00:17:30,502 --> 00:17:33,003
There was an IQ test.

368
00:17:33,071 --> 00:17:35,506
Nope. It was just a drug test.

369
00:17:35,573 --> 00:17:37,441
The guy ended up hiring his nephew.

370
00:17:37,509 --> 00:17:39,777
- I'm sorry, Nolan.
- That's all right.

371
00:17:39,844 --> 00:17:41,412
But I just smoked a big fatty

372
00:17:41,479 --> 00:17:43,180
and the Cartoon Network's entire lineup

373
00:17:43,248 --> 00:17:45,282
makes sense to me again.

374
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:46,990
( Knocking on door )
Coming.

375
00:17:49,788 --> 00:17:51,989
Hey, Paul. How's it going?

376
00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:55,125
Like crap. Freedom sucks.

377
00:17:55,193 --> 00:17:57,713
First my girlfriend screws some
dude and breaks up with me.

378
00:17:57,762 --> 00:18:00,664
Then she takes our only car and splits.

379
00:18:00,732 --> 00:18:02,199
Then how did you get here?

380
00:18:02,267 --> 00:18:04,702
The bus and it's horrible.

381
00:18:04,769 --> 00:18:07,689
At least on the prison bus, the
crazy people are handcuffed.

382
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,918
Look, I asked you over here
so I could calm you down.

383
00:18:11,943 --> 00:18:14,745
If you have another violent incident,
you're going back to prison.

384
00:18:14,813 --> 00:18:16,981
All I know is I gotta find this dude.

385
00:18:17,048 --> 00:18:19,883
Okay. I've done you one better.

386
00:18:19,951 --> 00:18:23,387
I found him for you
and he's in my kitchen.

387
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:25,756
You found him? Oh, thanks, Charlie.

388
00:18:25,824 --> 00:18:28,158
You're the best. You know, if you want,

389
00:18:28,226 --> 00:18:29,493
you can watch while I kill him.

390
00:18:29,561 --> 00:18:32,596
- It's gonna be fun.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

391
00:18:32,664 --> 00:18:34,465
Nobody's killing anybody here.

392
00:18:34,532 --> 00:18:42,070
This is my house. Not a bus.

393
00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:45,206
So, Paul, this is Sean.

394
00:18:45,274 --> 00:18:46,875
Oh, he's really big.

395
00:18:50,079 --> 00:18:53,148
I am so sorry. Obviously...

396
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,783
if I could go back in time,

397
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:57,886
I never would've done
what it is that I did.

398
00:18:57,954 --> 00:18:59,354
I mean, if I could go back in time,

399
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:02,724
I'd probably kill Tom Jones
and see Hitler in Vegas.

400
00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:05,860
That's not even ri... I'm so nervous.

401
00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:09,497
Don't worry, Sean.
He's not gonna hurt you.

402
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,233
You got one minute
before I snap his neck.

403
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:16,404
Well, then we got a lot
of work to do in one minute.

404
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,673
Look, we don't even know each other,

405
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,710
but I'm sure that he's
not the kind of guy

406
00:19:21,777 --> 00:19:24,479
that would sleep with a woman
knowing she's got a boyfriend.

407
00:19:24,547 --> 00:19:26,548
- Would you, Sean?
- Never! No! Of course not.

408
00:19:26,615 --> 00:19:28,817
I don't even... I don't
even remember this woman.

409
00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:31,753
You took advantage of my beautiful
angel and you don't even remember?

410
00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:33,655
Listen, she couldn't
have been that beautiful,

411
00:19:33,723 --> 00:19:35,623
otherwise I would have.

412
00:19:35,691 --> 00:19:38,360
I think you can do better, that's all.
I think you can do better.

413
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,962
- Son of a bitch!
- No! Wait, wait, wait.

414
00:19:41,030 --> 00:19:45,566
Maybe... maybe Sean is right.

415
00:19:45,633 --> 00:19:47,501
Stupid, backwards way.

416
00:19:47,569 --> 00:19:49,436
Thank you.

417
00:19:49,504 --> 00:19:52,873
Maureen is the problem.

418
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,775
You're angry with her,
not with this guy.

419
00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,363
You don't want to be with a
woman who sleeps around on you.

420
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,882
You know what? You're right.

421
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,785
- I'll never see her again.
- Good.

422
00:20:04,853 --> 00:20:07,688
Because I'll be back in
prison for killing this fool.

423
00:20:07,755 --> 00:20:09,723
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

424
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:12,159
- You can have my car.
- What?

425
00:20:13,728 --> 00:20:17,197
She took your car and if you promise

426
00:20:17,265 --> 00:20:20,434
to let him go, you can have mine.

427
00:20:20,502 --> 00:20:22,982
Why would you do this
for a total stranger?

428
00:20:23,037 --> 00:20:25,606
Why did Jesus

429
00:20:25,673 --> 00:20:27,741
help all the strangers

430
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,177
who banged his patients' girlfriends?

431
00:20:32,046 --> 00:20:34,381
You never heard that story?

432
00:20:34,449 --> 00:20:37,084
Just take the car.

433
00:20:37,151 --> 00:20:39,286
Thanks, Charlie.

434
00:20:43,925 --> 00:20:45,926
Well, that's taken care of.

435
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:48,295
You owe me, Sean. You owe me big-time.

436
00:20:48,363 --> 00:20:49,930
Yeah.

437
00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:54,134
So what was it like banging
that dude's girlfriend?

438
00:20:56,482 --> 00:20:59,082
- What?
- You never would've given him your car

439
00:20:59,107 --> 00:21:00,908
if it wasn't you who did it.

440
00:21:00,975 --> 00:21:02,643
Jesus.

441
00:21:04,812 --> 00:21:06,772
I don't know what you're talking about.

442
00:21:06,814 --> 00:21:08,382
And by the way,

443
00:21:08,449 --> 00:21:11,652
who puts "Kung Fu Fighting" on a bang CD?

444
00:21:11,708 --> 00:21:21,708
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