1
00:00:01,429 --> 00:00:03,253
Okay, guys, about 45 more seconds.
2
00:00:03,419 --> 00:00:06,595
What the hell's this
supposed to prove?
3
00:00:06,663 --> 00:00:08,797
I told you, it's an anger exercise.
4
00:00:08,865 --> 00:00:11,303
If you get angry, you lose focus,
the table will become unbalanced,
5
00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:14,014
and somebody takes
a bowling ball in the face.
6
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,106
Well, in that case,
I am going to stay focused...
7
00:00:17,173 --> 00:00:20,437
on aiming the ball
right at Ed's head.
8
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,898
What's going to make us angry anyway?
9
00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,480
I'm going to start insulting you.
10
00:00:24,547 --> 00:00:27,527
Nothing personal.
Just completely random insults.
11
00:00:27,693 --> 00:00:28,779
So when does that start?
12
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,285
You'll see,
13
00:00:30,353 --> 00:00:32,616
you unmotivated,
pot-smoking man-child.
14
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,827
Okay, I'll wait.
15
00:00:35,993 --> 00:00:39,081
That was an insult,
you brainless moron.
16
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,996
Hey, hey, hey.
Let's keep it positive,
17
00:00:41,064 --> 00:00:42,876
you ancient, redneck hillbilly.
18
00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:45,100
( laughs )
You think that's going to-- oh, damn!
19
00:00:45,168 --> 00:00:46,546
It's headed right for my head.
20
00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:48,507
Patrick, stop it!
21
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:51,176
How much longer, Charlie?
My arm's hurting.
22
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,075
Just 10 more seconds,
you self-centered,
23
00:00:53,143 --> 00:00:54,429
unemployed gold-digger.
24
00:00:54,595 --> 00:00:56,181
- ( Nolan screams )
- ( bowling ball thuds )
25
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,145
How come she got mad
and I got hit by a ball?
26
00:01:02,311 --> 00:01:05,774
Because this is
a very faulty exercise.
27
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,123
That was a cheap shot, Charlie.
28
00:01:08,191 --> 00:01:10,654
You know, I don't even have a job.
I can't pay my rent.
29
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:14,032
The other day,
I had to borrow money from my maid.
30
00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:17,995
Did you consider not having a maid?
31
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,902
You don't understand.
32
00:01:19,969 --> 00:01:22,304
She's not just my maid.
She's also my psychic.
33
00:01:22,372 --> 00:01:24,506
And she said that
I'm going to have my maid
34
00:01:24,574 --> 00:01:26,775
for a very long time.
35
00:01:28,225 --> 00:01:31,717
Oops. I didn't realize
group was still going on.
36
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,749
You left your laptop at the office.
37
00:01:33,817 --> 00:01:35,584
Oh, thanks.
I'll need this.
38
00:01:35,652 --> 00:01:38,687
I'm going to write an article
for "Psychology Today" called
39
00:01:38,755 --> 00:01:41,557
"Therapy Games That Help No One."
40
00:01:41,624 --> 00:01:43,228
All right, all,
I'll see you all next week.
41
00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:45,794
Hey, Lacey, Jordan,
42
00:01:45,862 --> 00:01:47,396
would you mind sticking
around for a second?
43
00:01:47,463 --> 00:01:49,798
Sure, what's going on?
44
00:01:49,866 --> 00:01:52,601
Well, Jordan,
45
00:01:52,669 --> 00:01:56,283
I was thinking that maybe you
could help Lacey get a job.
46
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,307
( gasps )
Oh, Charlie.
47
00:01:58,374 --> 00:02:00,943
I'm flattered,
but I don't want to do what she does.
48
00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:02,414
It makes you dress boring.
49
00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:05,709
No offense.
Today you look really good.
50
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,714
Well, Jordan, what do you think?
51
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,289
Well, despite what Lacey just
said and the face she just made,
52
00:02:14,357 --> 00:02:16,358
I'd love to help her with her résumé.
53
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,477
So do you have your résumé with you?
54
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,468
I don't really have one.
I've only had two real jobs.
55
00:02:26,536 --> 00:02:30,205
I was a sales girl at Sephora
and a pharmaceutical rep.
56
00:02:30,273 --> 00:02:32,007
I wouldn't list the last one, though,
57
00:02:32,075 --> 00:02:35,322
because I got fired
for assaulting my boss.
58
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,312
We can say,
59
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:40,035
"Isn't afraid to
challenge management."
60
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,829
I hit him in the head with a brick.
61
00:02:43,874 --> 00:02:45,916
"Aims high."
62
00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:47,789
This is hopeless.
63
00:02:47,857 --> 00:02:49,925
I'm just going
to do something like...
64
00:02:49,993 --> 00:02:52,728
- I don't know, sell my eggs.
- What?
65
00:02:52,795 --> 00:02:55,259
That's a huge moral
and ethical decision to make.
66
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,843
You can't just sell your eggs.
67
00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:59,368
Fine, but will you still send me
68
00:02:59,435 --> 00:03:01,848
a copy of your résumé so
I can use it as an example?
69
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,505
Absolutely.
70
00:03:03,573 --> 00:03:06,375
But don't be intimidated
by my accomplishments.
71
00:03:06,442 --> 00:03:08,610
Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.
72
00:03:08,678 --> 00:03:10,078
Even though Caesar
said it was on his résumé.
73
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,609
( both laugh )
74
00:03:15,852 --> 00:03:17,920
Well, Sasha, I must say that
75
00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:21,410
your chicken cordon bleu
was a big success.
76
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,292
It was my aunt's recipe.
77
00:03:23,359 --> 00:03:25,914
My uncle never missed
a meal in 45 years.
78
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,460
Can I ask you a favor?
79
00:03:31,201 --> 00:03:34,403
I have a friend from Chicago
who needs a place to stay for a while
80
00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:35,871
while she looks for a job in LA.
81
00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:37,306
We used to be escorts together,
82
00:03:37,373 --> 00:03:38,969
but she just graduated
from culinary school.
83
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,635
Culinary school?
84
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,349
I don't think she's going to like
the way we treat the food around here.
85
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:47,849
Come on.
It'll only be for a couple of days.
86
00:03:47,917 --> 00:03:50,147
You'll really like her.
She has a great sense of humor.
87
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,321
All right.
It's fine, really.
88
00:03:52,388 --> 00:03:53,989
Just tell her to come on over.
89
00:03:54,057 --> 00:03:56,194
( doorbell rings )
90
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,072
I might have already
done that this morning?
91
00:03:59,329 --> 00:04:01,330
I wonder if she had dinner.
92
00:04:01,397 --> 00:04:03,285
I guess I could throw some
more chicken on the floor.
93
00:04:06,078 --> 00:04:07,101
Her name's Jenna.
94
00:04:07,226 --> 00:04:10,172
She's really fun
and she's great in the sack.
95
00:04:10,239 --> 00:04:12,002
- Wait a second. Pardon me?
- Oh, yeah.
96
00:04:12,275 --> 00:04:13,809
Guys used to hire the two of us,
97
00:04:13,876 --> 00:04:15,631
so I know her really well.
98
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:18,675
Oh. Well, at least while she's living
here, I won't be thinking about that.
99
00:04:22,552 --> 00:04:24,119
- Jenna.
- Sasha.
100
00:04:25,842 --> 00:04:27,559
- And this is Charlie.
- Hello.
101
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:28,987
Hi.
102
00:04:29,112 --> 00:04:31,299
He is so much cuter
than you said he was.
103
00:04:31,424 --> 00:04:32,105
Right.
104
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:35,734
Yup, I'm thinking about things.
105
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:40,572
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
106
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:43,505
So how long is this
other girl staying?
107
00:04:43,573 --> 00:04:45,908
Just a few more days.
She's looking for a job in LA.
108
00:04:45,975 --> 00:04:47,412
That's awesome.
109
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:50,746
- So how's the three-way?
- What?
110
00:04:50,814 --> 00:04:52,915
Are you kidding me?
Come on, I saw her.
111
00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:55,170
She is smoking hot
and she used to be an escort.
112
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,381
You can't waste this.
113
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,425
There are people starving
in China for three-ways.
114
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,391
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
115
00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:04,159
China is now a economic powerhouse
116
00:05:04,227 --> 00:05:06,495
which means everyone
can afford a three-way.
117
00:05:08,431 --> 00:05:10,432
Listen, you got to make this happen,
all right?
118
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,814
You have two smoking hot,
down-for-anything chicks.
119
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:19,400
I'm sorry. Two smoking hot,
down-for-anything ladies.
120
00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:21,402
People forget you're a woman
when you're a bartender
121
00:05:21,469 --> 00:05:24,574
and over 40 and always on top.
122
00:05:28,176 --> 00:05:30,789
Do you think Sasha would be into it?
123
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,313
Well, I'm sure
they both would if I asked,
124
00:05:33,381 --> 00:05:35,482
but I don't want to take
that chance with Sasha.
125
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:37,317
I don't want to blow what we have.
126
00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:38,986
Three-ways don't blow anything.
127
00:05:39,054 --> 00:05:41,188
They're the most
efficient form of sex.
128
00:05:41,256 --> 00:05:45,178
You're making more people
happy in less time.
129
00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:48,429
No, no, no.
Somebody's feelings always get hurt
130
00:05:48,496 --> 00:05:50,264
or somebody doesn't
get enough attention
131
00:05:50,331 --> 00:05:52,666
or somebody yells out, "Amber"
132
00:05:52,734 --> 00:05:54,334
and there's nobody
in the bed named Amber.
133
00:05:56,771 --> 00:05:59,406
Sasha?
134
00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:01,153
Oh. Hi.
135
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,697
- Hey.
- Good. We are going to bed early.
136
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,380
Yeah.
We all are.
137
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,215
We all?
138
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,884
Yeah, we all.
139
00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:16,710
Are you okay with this?
140
00:06:18,039 --> 00:06:21,965
There are a whole bunch of
reasons not to do this...
141
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,800
but I can't remember one of
them right now. Let's go.
142
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:24,932
( both giggle )
143
00:06:29,762 --> 00:06:32,643
Oh, Ms. Jordan, is Charlie around?
144
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,536
He's taking the morning off, Cleo.
145
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,146
Can I help you with something?
146
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,607
Oh, well, I was going to talk to
him about what I think about you.
147
00:06:39,675 --> 00:06:42,277
So this is going to be awkward.
148
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:45,989
Why don't you talk to me
about what you think of me?
149
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,348
Oh, no.
150
00:06:47,416 --> 00:06:49,993
You would not understand.
151
00:06:50,219 --> 00:06:53,922
Is it possible that you're just
trying to kill time outside your cell
152
00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,958
by telling the guard you
need to see the psychologist?
153
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,458
Oh, no.
I would never do that.
154
00:06:57,526 --> 00:06:58,993
That is crazy.
You crazy.
155
00:06:59,061 --> 00:07:00,629
That's crazy.
156
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,924
Shh.
He gonna hear you.
157
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,900
- ( cell phone chimes )
- One second.
158
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,902
Hello?
159
00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,574
You're confirming
my appointment for what?
160
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,176
I'm not selling my eggs.
How did you get this number?
161
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,513
It was on my résumé?
162
00:07:19,949 --> 00:07:21,649
Lacey.
163
00:07:21,717 --> 00:07:23,418
What time?
164
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:24,778
Damn right I'll be there.
165
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,955
Oh, Ms. Jordan,
166
00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:28,890
would you like me
just to stay around here
167
00:07:28,958 --> 00:07:30,450
and man the phones while you're gone?
168
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,286
No, that's against the rules.
169
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,330
What is it with this place
and all these rules?
170
00:07:35,397 --> 00:07:36,865
Rules, rules, rules.
171
00:07:36,932 --> 00:07:38,867
I said it before
and this time I mean it--
172
00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:40,535
I would like to go home.
173
00:08:21,641 --> 00:08:24,046
Hey, want to hit the batting cages?
174
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:27,113
I really shouldn't.
I've had a lot to drink.
175
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:29,482
What's happening here?
176
00:08:29,549 --> 00:08:31,717
A little breakfast in bed?
177
00:08:31,785 --> 00:08:33,319
Three of everything.
178
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,521
I know what's going on.
179
00:08:35,589 --> 00:08:37,056
You're binge eating again,
aren't you, Charlie?
180
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,726
Stop eating your emotions.
181
00:08:40,794 --> 00:08:42,695
- Let me.
- No, don't, don't, don't.
182
00:08:42,763 --> 00:08:44,358
That's for Sasha and Jenna.
183
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,568
You did it, didn't you?
184
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,701
Yes, I did.
185
00:08:48,769 --> 00:08:51,670
And I did. And they did.
And then I did.
186
00:08:51,738 --> 00:08:53,406
There's a bunch more dids in there.
187
00:08:53,473 --> 00:08:54,952
It got a little confusing
towards the end.
188
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,913
So how was it?
Did anything go wrong?
189
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,916
No, no, no.
Everything was cool.
190
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:04,086
I mean, there was one weird moment.
191
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,629
Somebody started crying, right?
192
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,089
Somebody always starts crying.
193
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,175
You didn't start crying, did you?
194
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,191
Nobody cried.
195
00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:14,493
But every time I looked at Jenna,
she was staring at me
196
00:09:14,561 --> 00:09:16,228
with this super intense look.
197
00:09:16,296 --> 00:09:18,230
Like she really
wanted me or something.
198
00:09:18,298 --> 00:09:20,099
Yeah, of course she did.
199
00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:21,895
I mean, she was having sex with you.
200
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,302
No, I think she's really into me.
201
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:25,037
Like she wants to connect.
202
00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:28,026
I think she wants something
more than just a threesome.
203
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,696
- You mean like a foursome?
- No, a twosome.
204
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,179
But how's a twosome
more than a threesome?
205
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,741
Emotionally more.
206
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,535
Just show me the look.
207
00:09:36,783 --> 00:09:38,537
- I'm not going to show you the look.
- Show me the look.
208
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,985
All right, fine.
209
00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:48,594
Yeah, she's in love with you.
210
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,760
I think I am, too.
What are you going to do?
211
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,168
I'm going to take her
out to lunch and talk to her.
212
00:09:56,236 --> 00:09:57,973
I don't want this thing
to be awkward.
213
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,892
Boy, big problem for you.
214
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,675
Good luck with it all.
215
00:10:02,742 --> 00:10:05,105
I'm going to grab some
cereal and get out of here.
216
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,513
No, no, don't. There's just
enough for me and the girls.
217
00:10:09,249 --> 00:10:10,749
You got to lose this chick.
She's ruining everything.
218
00:10:16,823 --> 00:10:19,024
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
219
00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:20,659
Sorry I'm late.
220
00:10:20,727 --> 00:10:22,331
I just came from
an interview at a restaurant.
221
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,207
That's great.
And?
222
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:26,966
Well, it was a seafood place
223
00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,968
with one of those tanks
filled with live crabs.
224
00:10:29,035 --> 00:10:31,103
Turned out it was imitation crabmeat
225
00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:33,038
formed into the shape of crabs.
226
00:10:33,106 --> 00:10:35,677
The bubbling ornaments
kept them moving.
227
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,877
Wow, that is so not
a good restaurant.
228
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,893
I hate when they make
the food pretend it's alive.
229
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,479
So what's up?
230
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,453
Look, maybe it was
just my imagination,
231
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:49,722
but the other night
when we were all together,
232
00:10:49,789 --> 00:10:52,277
I caught you staring at me.
233
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,094
Yeah, that wasn't your imagination.
234
00:10:55,162 --> 00:10:57,363
( chuckles )
I understand.
235
00:10:57,430 --> 00:10:59,265
There's something about me
that attracts women.
236
00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:00,566
I don't know what it is--
237
00:11:00,634 --> 00:11:02,579
charisma, good looks, intelligence.
238
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,304
- ( laughs )
- You know, I was prom king
239
00:11:05,372 --> 00:11:08,710
three years in a row at a high
school I didn't even go to.
240
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,921
You're a very attractive man.
241
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,090
Shh.
Don't make this harder.
242
00:11:14,638 --> 00:11:18,240
The point is, nothing can happen
between us
243
00:11:18,308 --> 00:11:21,682
because Sasha's the one
I really want to be with.
244
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,018
Yeah, me, too.
245
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,312
I'm sorry, what?
246
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,051
I've always liked Sasha.
247
00:11:29,119 --> 00:11:30,853
But after seeing her with you,
248
00:11:30,921 --> 00:11:33,193
I realized I want her all to myself.
249
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,737
So then, why were you staring at me?
250
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:38,527
I was hoping that if
I looked at you hard enough,
251
00:11:38,595 --> 00:11:40,429
your head would explode.
252
00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:45,539
I'm starting to get the feeling
that you're not in love with me.
253
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,804
Look, you're a super nice guy
254
00:11:48,872 --> 00:11:51,373
and I really appreciate you letting
me stay with you while I'm in town,
255
00:11:51,441 --> 00:11:53,409
but I'm sorry,
256
00:11:53,476 --> 00:11:55,674
I'm going to have to
destroy your relationship.
257
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,510
What are you going to do,
stare at it until it explodes?
258
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,115
Please.
259
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:02,251
Your stares are lame.
260
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,455
Stop that.
261
00:12:11,547 --> 00:12:13,400
- Sasha.
- Yeah.
262
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,687
I just had drinks with Jenna.
263
00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:16,987
I got to tell you this fast
before she gets here.
264
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,155
What is it?
265
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,555
She told me that she's
really in love with you
266
00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:22,075
and she's going to try
to break us up.
267
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,426
Come on.
She was just kidding.
268
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,761
I told you she has
a great sense of humor.
269
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,957
She wasn't kidding.
270
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,634
She came this close to
exploding my head with her eyes.
271
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,104
Charlie, we're friends.
272
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,842
It's just because I gave her
all those orgasms last night.
273
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:42,387
Hey, hey, hey. I like to think I was
the one that loosened the pickle jar.
274
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:45,682
- ( car door shuts )
- Oh, hey, guys.
275
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:46,975
How's it going?
276
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:49,061
Jenna, Charlie doesn't
get your sense of humor.
277
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,852
What do you mean?
278
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,954
He took you seriously when you
said that you were in love with me.
279
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,257
Oh, wow.
280
00:12:55,324 --> 00:12:58,111
I guess we're going to
talk about this.
281
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:01,263
Okay, I was serious.
282
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,033
You were?
283
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:06,701
I've never had the courage
to tell you before,
284
00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:09,070
but I love you.
285
00:13:09,138 --> 00:13:11,106
I've always loved you.
286
00:13:11,173 --> 00:13:13,627
- I want you to be mine.
- Oh.
287
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,420
Have my babies, bitch.
288
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,646
- ( scoffs ) You!
- ( laughing )
289
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,650
( chuckling )
290
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,346
I have no idea what
was funny about that.
291
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,955
She was just screwing with you.
292
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,990
See, this is what she does.
293
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,353
I told you she has
a great sense of humor.
294
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,195
And great is very subjective.
295
00:13:35,665 --> 00:13:37,132
Well, you know what?
I guess I believed you
296
00:13:37,199 --> 00:13:38,733
because Sasha's so wonderful
297
00:13:38,801 --> 00:13:41,269
and I figured that
anybody would want her.
298
00:13:41,337 --> 00:13:43,905
But that sociopath character
you created was a--
299
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:45,409
well, that was a riot.
300
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:50,289
You are so sweet.
301
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,415
Now I'm going to run out and get
some limes for those margaritas.
302
00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:55,050
( laughs )
303
00:13:57,286 --> 00:13:59,421
- I still want her.
- You don't say.
304
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,493
Excuse me.
Hi.
305
00:14:05,561 --> 00:14:08,056
Are you here to buy some eggs?
306
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,031
- Um, yes, we are.
- Oh, cool.
307
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,967
Because I'm selling my eggs
308
00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:13,861
and they're totally fresh
309
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:16,898
and they came from a teeny-tiny
little farm inside my body.
310
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,652
I'm just kidding.
I am very smart.
311
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:23,322
- Here's my résumé.
- We'll think about it.
312
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,615
- Okay.
- Okay.
313
00:14:28,884 --> 00:14:31,204
- There you are.
- Jordan, what are you doing here?
314
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,255
I was trying to help you get a job
and this is how you repay me?
315
00:14:34,323 --> 00:14:37,085
- By stealing my résumé? Give me those.
- No, they're mine.
316
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,761
- See, my name's on it.
- Yeah, but that's my phone number.
317
00:14:39,829 --> 00:14:41,798
If it's really your résumé,
then where did you go to high school?
318
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,999
- Don't look.
- I don't have to look.
319
00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:45,594
Where did you go to high school?
320
00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:47,971
I went to McKinley.
What does that have to do with anything?
321
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,556
Because I went to McKinley.
Look, it says it right here.
322
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,852
How can you live with yourself
doing something like this?
323
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,444
Because with my looks
and your brains,
324
00:14:56,512 --> 00:14:58,079
we can make a fortune.
325
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,483
We?
326
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:02,017
If you let me use your résumé,
327
00:15:02,084 --> 00:15:04,446
I'll split my egg money
with your 80/30.
328
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,789
That's not what a star
mathlete would say.
329
00:15:09,859 --> 00:15:11,787
- Lacey.
- We read your résumé.
330
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,762
We love it.
We want your eggs.
331
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,463
That's my résumé.
332
00:15:15,531 --> 00:15:18,366
All you'll get from her is
a baby that's devious and vain.
333
00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:20,468
I don't know what this
woman is talking about.
334
00:15:20,536 --> 00:15:23,465
And if babies didn't have veins,
they would die.
335
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,940
I know this because I'm a doctor.
336
00:15:28,811 --> 00:15:30,512
You know those crazy, desperate women
337
00:15:30,579 --> 00:15:32,474
who read about prisoners
in the newspaper
338
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,143
and start sending them
creepy love letters?
339
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,751
I finally got me one of them.
340
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,788
Well, congratulations, Wayne.
341
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:43,124
I couldn't be more weirded out
for the both of you.
342
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,826
Thank you.
343
00:15:44,894 --> 00:15:46,446
But lately,
we've been having some problems.
344
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,163
She wants a key to your cell
345
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,298
and you're just not ready
for that kind of commitment?
346
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,200
No, I missed her birthday
347
00:15:52,268 --> 00:15:54,369
and someone else sent her flowers.
348
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:57,035
I sent her three packs
of cigarettes a week later.
349
00:15:58,768 --> 00:16:00,836
Talk about too little, too late.
350
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,542
Guys, love triangles are tough
351
00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:05,544
whether you're in prison or not.
352
00:16:05,612 --> 00:16:07,546
For example, my girlfriend Sasha
353
00:16:07,614 --> 00:16:10,616
just invited another girl
to join us for a threesome.
354
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,932
( all booing, hissing )
355
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,289
Charlie, your problems
make me want to kill myself...
356
00:16:17,357 --> 00:16:19,354
before the state does.
357
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,426
Okay, okay.
358
00:16:21,494 --> 00:16:24,496
I know that my life sounds like
an endless parade of fun and women--
359
00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:27,799
which is kind of is--
360
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,781
but I found out that this other girl
361
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:33,577
is in love with Sasha
and is trying to drive me out.
362
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,073
I see.
363
00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:36,975
The French has a name
for this kind of problem.
364
00:16:37,043 --> 00:16:39,745
It's called "le problemo
de la bangarama."
365
00:16:42,048 --> 00:16:43,882
This Sasha chick sounds amazing.
366
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,151
If you don't want this
other girl to steal her away,
367
00:16:46,219 --> 00:16:48,842
you should lock Sasha down.
368
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,386
What do you mean, like marry her?
369
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:54,159
I was thinking lock her down
with a chain or something.
370
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,997
But if you want to marry her,
sure, that might work, too.
371
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,943
Well, one of you has a doctorate,
and we want that egg.
372
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,111
We'll pay you $30,000.
373
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,027
- That's my doctorate.
- This is crazy!
374
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:11,896
It's my doctorate.
375
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:14,732
In addition to the doctorate,
I also have this hair.
376
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,402
And if breasts are important
to your toddler,
377
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,591
may I direct your gaze here?
378
00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:23,107
Okay, this has gone far enough.
379
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,809
- She's a fraud.
- She's an alcoholic.
380
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,310
She's got ADD.
381
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,298
She's an alcoholic.
Did I already say that?
382
00:17:29,454 --> 00:17:30,884
Now who do you believe?
383
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:35,889
Okay, this is obviously yours.
We'll take your eggs.
384
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,656
Thank you. In your face.
Let's do this.
385
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,272
What the hell am I doing?
I'm not selling my eggs.
386
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,399
Hey, mister, we both know
387
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,835
this is your last chance
to have a hot kid.
388
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,252
Well, there she is.
389
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,717
How was your interview,
390
00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:10,188
Chef Boy-are-you-a-bitch?
391
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,135
Where's Sasha?
392
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,059
I don't know.
393
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,229
I've been playing
"champong" with myself.
394
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,468
I'm kicking ass.
Check it out.
395
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:29,026
I am on fire.
396
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,236
Don't you have too many cups?
397
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,844
I've adjusted the rules
398
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,282
so I can't lose.
399
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,076
I've dealt with enough
disappointment today.
400
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,329
Oh, really?
What happened?
401
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,286
You'll enjoy this.
402
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,622
But if you want to know,
you have to play.
403
00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:48,392
Whatever.
404
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,966
Rejected.
405
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,936
Like me.
406
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,434
What are you talking about?
407
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,103
Sasha and I are over.
408
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,980
I proposed to her and she said no.
409
00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:12,250
So whatever you said
to her about me worked.
410
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:18,656
Oh, I forgot to throw a ball.
411
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,531
Wow.
412
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:28,432
That didn't take long.
413
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,255
I was prepared to talk
smack about you for months.
414
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,837
Months?
415
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,773
You prepared enough smack
about me for months?
416
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,477
I could see a couple of weeks of smack,
but months?
417
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,347
I downloaded an app
just to make notes.
418
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:44,882
I organized it and everything.
419
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:49,020
Oh, look, it's in alphabetical order.
420
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,255
A: arrogant.
421
00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:53,558
B: beyond arrogant.
422
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,445
C: completely arrogant.
423
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,155
Is this all you had?
424
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,729
Look at F.
425
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:03,000
Oh, no.
That's not nice.
426
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:07,958
By the way,
you're not gonna get her either.
427
00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,877
Really?
What makes you so sure?
428
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,922
Because that girl does not
want to commit to anybody.
429
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,247
You don't know her like I do.
She's in love with me, too.
430
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:17,926
She just hasn't realized it yet.
431
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:21,185
Hmm. Sasha.
432
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:22,486
Have you heard enough?
433
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,791
I can't believe I trusted you.
434
00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:29,760
I can't believe how
good I am at champong.
435
00:20:31,251 --> 00:20:33,942
By the way, that's real champagne.
436
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,694
I am completely hammered.
437
00:20:41,402 --> 00:20:44,119
That was really nice you
having sex with me just now.
438
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:47,478
Wow. Considering all the dirty
things you said in the last hour,
439
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:50,083
that was unexpectedly polite.
440
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,717
I'm just saying that because
in that little story you told,
441
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:55,380
when you asked me to marry you,
I turned you down.
442
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:58,648
Well, then maybe this
was revenge sex.
443
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:03,260
And I don't know why we brought
a third person into our bed.
444
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:05,265
It doesn't get any better than this.
445
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,932
Yeah.
Jenna was a mistake.
446
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,835
So you never want a threesome again?
447
00:21:10,902 --> 00:21:14,672
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I have a whole list of other people.
448
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,407
Really, it's just everybody but her.
449
00:21:19,082 --> 00:21:21,406
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com