﻿1
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sync and corrections by <font color="#FF0000">dreaMaker7</font>
www.addic7ed.com

2
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So how are we feeling today?

3
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( mutters )

4
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Yeah, you look trashed,

5
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like you were out all night

6
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guzzling alcohol and killing
all your brain cells.

7
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I'm so jealous.

8
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Where were you, a rave, a club?

9
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The Fryman Bar Mitzvah.

10
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You got wasted at a Bar Mitzvah?

11
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Yeah. They shut down

12
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the hotel rooftop lounge that I was at,

13
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so I went to the party downstairs

14
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and drank the "Bar" out of Bar Mitzvah.

15
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So, who wants to start?

16
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Oh, I got some good news.

17
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When I was eight, I started sponsoring

18
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a poor African kid for $11 a month,

19
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and now, after all these years,

20
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he's coming to visit me.

21
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God, I wonder what America looks like

22
00:00:51,686 --> 00:00:53,186
to someone who grew up

23
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completely out of touch
with the modern world.

24
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Oh, I don't know.

25
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Tell us, Ed.

26
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I know what the modern world looks like,

27
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and I bet you that kid's scamming you

28
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like that Nigerian Prince on the Internet

29
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or that Kenyan in the White House.

30
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Well, I think it's great.

31
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I once sponsored a girl from Amsterdam,

32
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but that was more of a webcam thing.

33
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I'm serious, Charlie.

34
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Everybody's busy scamming everybody else.

35
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My wife and I just got ripped off

36
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by a therapist who said
he could fix our marriage

37
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in one weekend for 500 bucks.

38
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That's insane.

39
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You can't fix a marriage in a weekend.

40
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You can destroy a marriage in a weekend.

41
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Pfft. I've done that.

42
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Does this guy even have a license?

43
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Oh, Dr. Randy's got a license,

44
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but as soon as he gets you up there,

45
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he starts charging you more
and more for psychic readings.

46
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What the hell? That's totally

47
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against the A.P.A. ethics code.

48
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By the time I was finished,

49
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I was out $3,000,

50
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and I still don't have my wife back.

51
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There's nothing lower than a therapist

52
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who takes advantage of people

53
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in vulnerable situations.

54
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I do this for a living.

55
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I take it very seriously.

56
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This from the man who made us

57
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turn off all the lights and fight
each other with lightsabers.

58
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Well, that was about 
controlled confrontation

59
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and fighting fair

60
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and a little about who
would rule the universe.

61
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Wow, that was amazing.

62
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I've never had sex on
a coffee table before.

63
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Yeah, well, I've never had sex

64
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on a pile of "O" magazines
before, so we're even.

65
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Hey, tomorrow, you want to see

66
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if you can get off work
so we can have a nooner

67
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that lasts till, like,
I don't know, like, 6:30?

68
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There's a game on that I want to see.

69
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Oh, well, I would love to,

70
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but I have a ton of work to do,

71
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and there's no way Charlie
will pick up the slack.

72
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Unless he thought the slack
would have sex with him.

73
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<i>( knock on door )</i>

74
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- Who is it?
- <i> It's Charlie.</i>

75
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One second. It's Charlie. Go hide.

76
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Oh, screw that. Why don't we 
just tell him what we're doing?

77
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He teases me enough for being a prude.

78
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I can't imagine what he'll say

79
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if he finds out I'm hooking up with you.

80
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I don't want him to think
I'm some dirty little tramp.

81
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But you are.

82
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I know. Shh. That's our secret.

83
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Hey. Sorry. You weren't
answering your phone.

84
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Well, look at you all dressed to the ones.

85
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I'm getting ready to go to bed, Charlie.

86
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Look, Ed got ripped off

87
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by some cheese-ball psychic therapist,

88
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so my plan is to go to his retreat,

89
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get a bunch of evidence on the guy,

90
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and then get his license revoked.

91
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Yeah, yeah, the world is full of crooks.

92
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Life's unfair. Thanks for stopping by.

93
00:03:37,786 --> 00:03:40,153
Yeah, but... but I need your help.

94
00:03:40,155 --> 00:03:42,422
This guy's retreat only works with couples.

95
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You can even bring your blankie.

96
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Are you crazy?

97
00:03:46,695 --> 00:03:49,462
I am not going to pretend
to be a couple with you.

98
00:03:49,464 --> 00:03:51,497
Oh, come on.
We'll be helping a lot of people.

99
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,900
We'll be like the Bonnie
and Clyde of psychology.

100
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Bonnie and Clyde didn't help people.

101
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They robbed banks and were killed

102
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in a hail of bullets.

103
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They were good-looking people.

104
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They got their own movie. End of story.

105
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Come on, just do this with me.

106
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Fine, but if I agree to do this,

107
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you have to be okay with me taking

108
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a couple of afternoons off next week,

109
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say from noon to 6:30.

110
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Fine, whatever you want.

111
00:04:16,825 --> 00:04:19,525
And just to be clear,
I'm not gonna hug you, hold your hand,

112
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or otherwise show you
any signs of affection.

113
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Great. Add not talking to
me on the car ride up there,

114
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and you got yourself a deal.

115
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<i>( men whistling )</i>

116
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Couples yoga is upstairs.

117
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Dr. Randy does his therapy
sessions on the first floor,

118
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and this is your room.

119
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Okay.

120
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Um...

121
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where's the other bed?

122
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Dr. Randy believes that no matter

123
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how difficult things may be,

124
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you should share the same bed.

125
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I don't think you understand.

126
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We don't even share the
bed when we're happy.

127
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I suffer from night terrors,

128
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mostly about being in bed with her.

129
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Dr. Randy will work on that tomorrow.

130
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Stay open to love.

131
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I will if you will.

132
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You're flirting with another woman

133
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when you're married to me?

134
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I'm sorry.

135
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You're a frigid shrew,

136
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and I'm a man with needs.

137
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Okay, so we're stuck with one bed.

138
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We're adults. We can get through this.

139
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Exactly.

140
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I'll take the bed,

141
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and you can sleep in my car.

142
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Look, we're going to share the bed.

143
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As long as you wear pajamas.

144
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Fine. Do you have pajamas?

145
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Of course I do.

146
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Well, it looks like I'm wearing yours.

147
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Okay, here's the plan.

148
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We make it very clear that nothing
will solve our marital issues,

149
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short of his psychic crapola.

150
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- Got it.
- Just stick to the story.

151
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We've been married for 10 years,

152
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and after we had a kid,
we stopped doing it.

153
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Yeah, you know, I been thinking about that,

154
00:05:54,663 --> 00:05:57,097
and I don't think it's right

155
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to blame Finn for our sexual problems.

156
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Finn?

157
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Our son's name is Jack.

158
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I like Finn.

159
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Finn sounds like a guy who brings

160
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an acoustic guitar to parties.

161
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Exactly.

162
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I like those guys.

163
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Fine. You can have Finn,

164
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just like you had all the
covers last night.

165
00:06:16,451 --> 00:06:19,519
You had the air turned down to 50 degrees.

166
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I was trying to cryogenically
freeze your body

167
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so you'd stop thrashing.

168
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Mr. and Mrs. Barrow.

169
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I am Dr. Randy.

170
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Please, sit down. Sit down.

171
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Everything my spirit is, was,

172
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or ever will be welcomes you.

173
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Thank you, Doctor. I'm Charlie.

174
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This is my wife Jordan, who is, was,

175
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and ever will be a pain in my ass.

176
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He tried to freeze me to death last night,

177
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and he wears women's pajamas,

178
00:06:52,087 --> 00:06:55,021
sometimes in front of Finn.

179
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,690
Who's... who's Finn?

180
00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:59,426
Finn is our son, who wants to play baseball,

181
00:06:59,428 --> 00:07:00,960
but she keeps making him take

182
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acoustic guitar lessons.

183
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Because he is a terrible baseball player,

184
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just like his father.

185
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Oh, yeah? Well, Finn isn't even
our son's real name.

186
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:14,674
It's Jack. Finn is her cousin

187
00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:16,710
she lost her virginity to
when she was a teenager.

188
00:07:16,712 --> 00:07:19,412
- I-I can't believe...
- Now, ah-ah-ah-ah.

189
00:07:19,414 --> 00:07:21,781
Sounds like you two have
some serious problems.

190
00:07:21,783 --> 00:07:24,217
Which is why we need everything you've got.

191
00:07:24,219 --> 00:07:27,087
We heard that you can fix us
in a weekend. Is that true?

192
00:07:27,089 --> 00:07:28,588
Absolutely.

193
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Well, great. That's great.

194
00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:31,591
And we are open

195
00:07:31,593 --> 00:07:34,294
to any weird thing that you want.

196
00:07:34,296 --> 00:07:36,696
What did you have in mind?

197
00:07:36,698 --> 00:07:39,699
Anything. Anything weird, crazy,

198
00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:41,801
weird.

199
00:07:41,803 --> 00:07:44,804
Okay, but what I'd like to do right now

200
00:07:44,806 --> 00:07:47,807
is have you two fill
out these questionnaires

201
00:07:47,809 --> 00:07:51,411
to test your sexual compatibility.

202
00:07:51,413 --> 00:07:54,314
He'll finish before me. He always does.

203
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:58,752
That's because I just want to go watch TV.

204
00:07:58,754 --> 00:08:01,154
At least the pictures on
that thing move a little.

205
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,824
<i>( knock on door )</i>

206
00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:10,163
Oh. Thanks.

207
00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:11,831
What do you need the water for?

208
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:13,333
They shut my water off,

209
00:08:13,335 --> 00:08:14,968
and I want to make Kwame some lemonade.

210
00:08:14,970 --> 00:08:16,336
He's from Africa.

211
00:08:16,338 --> 00:08:18,071
They probably don't have that over there.

212
00:08:18,073 --> 00:08:20,140
All they have over there is ostrich milk.

213
00:08:20,142 --> 00:08:23,143
You got to be pretty fast
to get that in a glass.

214
00:08:23,145 --> 00:08:25,845
When someone comes to America,

215
00:08:25,847 --> 00:08:27,814
you don't give them fruit water.

216
00:08:27,816 --> 00:08:30,250
You take them somewhere
to show off our culture,

217
00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:34,154
like a giant shopping mall or a Sephora.

218
00:08:34,156 --> 00:08:35,255
<i>( knock on door )</i>

219
00:08:35,257 --> 00:08:36,489
That's him.

220
00:08:36,491 --> 00:08:40,293
FYI, he thinks my name is Bruce Wayne.

221
00:08:40,295 --> 00:08:42,595
Isn't Bruce Wayne Batman?

222
00:08:42,597 --> 00:08:44,631
Don't ask.
It's something I started when I was eight,

223
00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:46,273
and I can't get out of it.

224
00:08:50,437 --> 00:08:52,138
- Kwame!
- Bruce Wayne!

225
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,940
That's me!

226
00:08:53,942 --> 00:08:55,742
Ah.

227
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,910
Wow.

228
00:08:58,112 --> 00:09:00,313
You look so different.

229
00:09:00,315 --> 00:09:02,715
Bruce, introduce me to your friend

230
00:09:02,717 --> 00:09:05,418
who's wearing a watch
that's worth more than you.

231
00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:08,621
Kwame, this is my friend Lacey.

232
00:09:08,623 --> 00:09:10,123
She lives next door,

233
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,724
and she's about to leave.

234
00:09:11,726 --> 00:09:14,494
Nice to meet you.

235
00:09:14,496 --> 00:09:17,197
And you have great style.

236
00:09:17,199 --> 00:09:20,200
I wouldn't mind spending
a couple hours with you

237
00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:22,569
at the Motel Rwanda.

238
00:09:23,671 --> 00:09:25,538
Call me. ( giggles )

239
00:09:28,709 --> 00:09:30,810
So you want something to eat?

240
00:09:30,812 --> 00:09:32,612
You must be starving.

241
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,848
Hey, that's how we met.

242
00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:37,183
Actually, I'm quite full, Bruce.

243
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:39,752
I just had sashimi at Katsuya.

244
00:09:40,921 --> 00:09:42,689
Please talk slower.

245
00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:46,359
I don't understand your language.

246
00:09:46,361 --> 00:09:48,428
I'm speaking English.

247
00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:50,129
I got most of that.

248
00:09:51,699 --> 00:09:53,833
Look at you, Bruce.

249
00:09:53,835 --> 00:09:55,568
You look exactly the same as you did

250
00:09:55,570 --> 00:09:57,403
in that picture of you when you were eight.

251
00:09:57,405 --> 00:09:58,905
( claps ) You too,

252
00:09:58,907 --> 00:10:01,074
except now you're wearing a beautiful suit

253
00:10:01,076 --> 00:10:04,077
instead of sitting in a bucket.

254
00:10:04,079 --> 00:10:06,613
I have been quite fortunate.

255
00:10:06,615 --> 00:10:09,282
I moved to New York two years ago,

256
00:10:09,284 --> 00:10:11,684
drove a limousine until I
could afford to buy one.

257
00:10:11,686 --> 00:10:13,353
<i>Now I have a company</i>

258
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:15,755
with 140 cars in six states.

259
00:10:15,757 --> 00:10:17,824
Oh.

260
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:20,760
This is called a lemon.

261
00:10:21,929 --> 00:10:23,596
So...

262
00:10:25,165 --> 00:10:27,367
you live here?

263
00:10:27,369 --> 00:10:29,469
Yeah, not as much dirt on the floor

264
00:10:29,471 --> 00:10:31,371
as where you come from, huh?

265
00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:32,705
Mm, it's close.

266
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,742
And no TV.

267
00:10:35,744 --> 00:10:38,144
Even us Somali refugees had TV.

268
00:10:38,146 --> 00:10:41,047
I mean, it's not high-def,
but it's still a good picture.

269
00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:44,918
Bruce, you were so kind to me

270
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,419
when I had nothing.

271
00:10:46,421 --> 00:10:49,055
I will not rest until you
let me give you some money.

272
00:10:49,057 --> 00:10:50,823
No, I can't take your charity.

273
00:10:50,825 --> 00:10:53,026
I was always the one who helped you.

274
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,328
Here. Here's $20.

275
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,031
Can I get five back?

276
00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,513
I still have to go to the Y for a bath.

277
00:11:02,303 --> 00:11:06,172
Okay,
I have the results of your questionnaire.

278
00:11:06,174 --> 00:11:07,974
<i>And based on this,</i>

279
00:11:07,976 --> 00:11:10,476
I think we may have to
take another approach,

280
00:11:10,478 --> 00:11:14,213
because sex is not your problem.

281
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:18,217
You two have the highest
sexual compatibility score

282
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,786
I have ever seen.

283
00:11:19,788 --> 00:11:22,221
( laughing )

284
00:11:25,659 --> 00:11:27,093
Oh, you're serious.

285
00:11:28,462 --> 00:11:29,829
That is impossible.

286
00:11:29,831 --> 00:11:33,833
You are each other's exact types.

287
00:11:33,835 --> 00:11:36,769
You're a perfect storm of sexual desires.

288
00:11:36,771 --> 00:11:39,605
Maybe you should just
get out of your own way

289
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:42,008
and let your genitals do the talking.

290
00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:43,776
( scoffs ) My genitals

291
00:11:43,778 --> 00:11:45,311
have nothing to say to him.

292
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:48,982
Well, there's a way to
get to the bottom of this

293
00:11:48,984 --> 00:11:52,285
and get you the answers
you so desperately need.

294
00:11:52,287 --> 00:11:54,921
We can consult...

295
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,489
the spirits.

296
00:11:56,491 --> 00:11:57,957
That's fantastic.

297
00:11:57,959 --> 00:11:59,492
How much is that going to cost?

298
00:11:59,494 --> 00:12:00,994
Oh, please, please.

299
00:12:00,996 --> 00:12:03,229
Let's not contaminate this moment

300
00:12:03,231 --> 00:12:04,797
with talk of money.

301
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:09,521
We have your credit card on file.

302
00:12:14,308 --> 00:12:15,608
Oh.

303
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,076
Yes, spirits.

304
00:12:18,145 --> 00:12:21,147
I'll tell them.

305
00:12:21,149 --> 00:12:23,109
They want to see you kiss.

306
00:12:24,385 --> 00:12:26,386
- Say what?
- I'm sorry. Excuse me?

307
00:12:26,388 --> 00:12:29,088
No, they want to see if 
there's still some spark

308
00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:33,026
from which you two might
rekindle your relationship.

309
00:12:34,528 --> 00:12:36,262
<i>( bell dings )</i>

310
00:12:38,065 --> 00:12:39,932
( deep clunk )

311
00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:44,082
The spirits are underwhelmed.

312
00:12:46,707 --> 00:12:50,710
They want to see a real kiss.

313
00:12:50,712 --> 00:12:54,147
It's critical to your healing.

314
00:13:14,268 --> 00:13:17,136
Spirits say the energy is good.

315
00:13:18,906 --> 00:13:22,809
You know, let's run that credit
card again just to be safe.

316
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:30,583
♪♪

317
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:32,336
Coming.

318
00:13:36,889 --> 00:13:38,456
Sorry I took so long.

319
00:13:38,458 --> 00:13:40,258
After I saw how well Kwame was doing,

320
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:43,795
I started working on a list
of ways to improve my life.

321
00:13:43,797 --> 00:13:46,798
Number one, stop giving Kwame money.

322
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,500
That guy's doing okay.

323
00:13:49,768 --> 00:13:51,870
Look, I realize your life is sad,

324
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,605
but it's your life,

325
00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:55,487
so really, it's only sad to you.

326
00:13:57,476 --> 00:13:59,611
Why'd you call me over?

327
00:13:59,613 --> 00:14:01,946
Okay, I accidentally went out with this guy

328
00:14:01,948 --> 00:14:03,982
who was a manager at a Best Buy.

329
00:14:03,984 --> 00:14:06,684
When I found out,
I told him as nicely as I could

330
00:14:06,686 --> 00:14:09,154
that instead of dating him, I'd rather die.

331
00:14:09,156 --> 00:14:13,158
But he keeps sending me all these TVs

332
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,859
and video games and stuff.

333
00:14:14,861 --> 00:14:17,395
So you want me to help you take it all back?

334
00:14:17,397 --> 00:14:19,430
No, I just want to store it at your place

335
00:14:19,432 --> 00:14:21,392
until I can finally move out of this dump.

336
00:14:22,768 --> 00:14:25,203
Oh, really?

337
00:14:25,205 --> 00:14:26,738
And you'd probably be okay with me

338
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,306
hooking it all up and using it.

339
00:14:28,308 --> 00:14:29,841
Whatever. I don't care.

340
00:14:29,843 --> 00:14:31,709
Are you sure it isn't Kwame

341
00:14:31,711 --> 00:14:33,945
who wants me to hook it all up and use it?

342
00:14:33,947 --> 00:14:35,847
( gasps ) I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.

343
00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:37,348
Did you just say that Kwame

344
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:39,450
wants to hook up with me and use me?

345
00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:40,818
I know what's going on.

346
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,086
I wouldn't take Kwame's money,

347
00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:44,122
and this is his way of trying to give me

348
00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:45,456
a bunch of cool stuff.

349
00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:46,791
Well, screw that.

350
00:14:46,793 --> 00:14:49,027
It's not like I'm a poor, malnourished child

351
00:14:49,029 --> 00:14:50,528
who needs his help.

352
00:14:50,530 --> 00:14:52,430
I am a poor, malnourished adult

353
00:14:52,432 --> 00:14:54,866
who can take care of himself!

354
00:14:56,468 --> 00:14:58,536
Oh, my God!

355
00:14:58,538 --> 00:15:00,638
What did you just do?!

356
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,640
This is my stuff, not Kwame's!

357
00:15:02,642 --> 00:15:04,008
It is?

358
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:06,077
You're going to have to make this up to me.

359
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:08,246
All right. All right.

360
00:15:08,248 --> 00:15:10,982
I'll give you the only
thing I have to offer.

361
00:15:12,918 --> 00:15:14,852
Whoa. What are you doing?

362
00:15:14,854 --> 00:15:16,354
Giving you my belt.

363
00:15:16,356 --> 00:15:18,256
It's the most expensive thing I own.

364
00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:26,764
What a perv, making us kiss.

365
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:29,200
There was no reason for it.

366
00:15:29,202 --> 00:15:30,835
Yeah, I should have won an Academy Award

367
00:15:30,837 --> 00:15:32,337
for how good I made that look.

368
00:15:32,339 --> 00:15:33,838
Not just for best actor,

369
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,406
best cinematography, foreign film,

370
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:37,108
animated short, visual effects,

371
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,576
- editing...
- Hey!

372
00:15:38,578 --> 00:15:40,612
You think you deserve an award?

373
00:15:40,614 --> 00:15:42,614
For what I did, my tongue should be named

374
00:15:42,616 --> 00:15:44,582
"Time" Magazine's Man of the Year.

375
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,884
Well, at least he didn't suspect us.

376
00:15:46,886 --> 00:15:48,820
Great job lying on that test, by the way.

377
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,088
I didn't lie.

378
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:51,756
Well, of course you did, 'cause I didn't.

379
00:15:51,758 --> 00:15:53,057
There's no way in hell

380
00:15:53,059 --> 00:15:55,026
that we're the perfect
storm of sexual desires.

381
00:15:55,028 --> 00:15:57,362
As if I'd ever have sex with you, anyway.

382
00:15:57,364 --> 00:15:58,863
You're such a horndog.

383
00:15:58,865 --> 00:16:01,566
( sighs ) Just put it in quick.

384
00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:04,969
That's your answer for everything, isn't it?

385
00:16:04,971 --> 00:16:06,537
Give me that.

386
00:16:11,910 --> 00:16:13,411
Well, wasn't very romantic,

387
00:16:13,413 --> 00:16:14,879
but it got the job done,

388
00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:16,848
and you're going to want
to do it again tomorrow.

389
00:16:18,117 --> 00:16:19,617
For your information,

390
00:16:19,619 --> 00:16:21,119
I'm not a romance junkie.

391
00:16:21,121 --> 00:16:23,721
Oh, please. You got to have the candles

392
00:16:23,723 --> 00:16:25,790
and the soft music and...

393
00:16:25,792 --> 00:16:28,259
a trail of rose petals

394
00:16:28,261 --> 00:16:30,395
from the door to the bed.

395
00:16:30,397 --> 00:16:33,197
Be gentle with me.

396
00:16:33,199 --> 00:16:36,634
I had nothing to do with this.

397
00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:39,470
"Dr. Randy hopes you enjoy

398
00:16:39,472 --> 00:16:41,506
your sexual healing package.

399
00:16:41,508 --> 00:16:44,509
If you wish to forego this $1,200 package,

400
00:16:44,511 --> 00:16:47,245
do not open the gift box on the bed."

401
00:16:47,247 --> 00:16:50,481
Wow, look what's in this gift box.

402
00:16:50,483 --> 00:16:52,950
Caviar,

403
00:16:52,952 --> 00:16:54,852
chocolate strawberries,

404
00:16:54,854 --> 00:16:56,921
hand lotion...

405
00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:58,456
"For your genitals."

406
00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:01,693
Oh, this is lube.

407
00:17:03,228 --> 00:17:05,330
Ah, since we're already paying for it,

408
00:17:05,332 --> 00:17:07,465
might as well pop the champagne.

409
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:08,800
You know I don't drink.

410
00:17:08,802 --> 00:17:10,268
You know I didn't offer.

411
00:17:11,837 --> 00:17:13,037
<i>( knock on door )</i>

412
00:17:15,607 --> 00:17:17,875
Surprise.

413
00:17:17,877 --> 00:17:19,177
<i>Now lose them panties.</i>

414
00:17:19,179 --> 00:17:20,878
Daddy is ready for business.

415
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,781
Sean, what are you doing here?

416
00:17:23,783 --> 00:17:25,450
It's a hotel booty call.

417
00:17:25,452 --> 00:17:26,951
Oh, is Charlie next door?

418
00:17:26,953 --> 00:17:28,619
We should be quiet.

419
00:17:28,621 --> 00:17:30,521
No, he's right here.

420
00:17:30,523 --> 00:17:33,963
You're going to have to be really quiet.

421
00:17:38,096 --> 00:17:39,630
Hold on a sec.

422
00:17:39,632 --> 00:17:41,132
You two?

423
00:17:41,134 --> 00:17:42,975
What were you thinking?

424
00:17:43,602 --> 00:17:45,569
Who are you talking to?

425
00:17:45,571 --> 00:17:47,838
Either one.

426
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,340
How long has this been going on?

427
00:17:49,342 --> 00:17:50,874
About a month.

428
00:17:50,876 --> 00:17:53,143
Dude, you've sent me texts

429
00:17:53,145 --> 00:17:54,979
just to tell me that you banged a chick

430
00:17:54,981 --> 00:17:56,614
that went to high school with Katy Perry,

431
00:17:56,616 --> 00:17:58,649
but you don't tell me about you and her?

432
00:17:58,651 --> 00:18:00,884
No, I did. Remember the text I sent you

433
00:18:00,886 --> 00:18:02,720
about the annoying chick that
was into super-kinky stuff?

434
00:18:02,722 --> 00:18:05,522
That... that was her?

435
00:18:05,524 --> 00:18:06,957
Yeah, and remember the text I sent

436
00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:08,792
about the arrogant prick
I was having sex with?

437
00:18:08,794 --> 00:18:10,394
I never got a text like that.

438
00:18:10,396 --> 00:18:12,563
Don't worry. It's coming.

439
00:18:12,565 --> 00:18:14,999
You know what? I don't need this.

440
00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:18,002
I'm going to the spa to get a body scrub.

441
00:18:18,004 --> 00:18:20,771
Between sleeping with you
and sharing a bed with you,

442
00:18:20,773 --> 00:18:23,107
I hope they can scrub my memory.

443
00:18:27,178 --> 00:18:30,047
I cannot believe you're
hooking up with Jordan.

444
00:18:30,049 --> 00:18:31,582
I know. It's weird.

445
00:18:31,584 --> 00:18:34,285
Just kissing her is a huge turn-on.

446
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:37,254
I-I wouldn't know anything about that.

447
00:18:37,256 --> 00:18:38,622
You know what's scary?

448
00:18:38,624 --> 00:18:40,557
( clears throat )

449
00:18:40,559 --> 00:18:42,059
Think I really like her.

450
00:18:42,061 --> 00:18:44,061
All right. It's your funeral.

451
00:18:44,063 --> 00:18:45,596
Just don't be a dick.

452
00:18:45,598 --> 00:18:46,697
What does that mean?

453
00:18:46,699 --> 00:18:48,132
It means that you have a habit

454
00:18:48,134 --> 00:18:50,634
of sleeping with the women in my life,
then cheating on them.

455
00:18:50,636 --> 00:18:52,136
Oh, please. Name one.

456
00:18:52,138 --> 00:18:53,637
- Jen.
- Name two.

457
00:18:53,639 --> 00:18:55,973
- Lacey.
- This game sucks.

458
00:18:59,611 --> 00:19:01,111
Hello, Bruce.

459
00:19:01,113 --> 00:19:02,746
Ah. Thanks for coming, Kwame.

460
00:19:02,748 --> 00:19:04,915
I thought about your offer to help.

461
00:19:04,917 --> 00:19:07,117
Say no more. How much do you need?

462
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,586
Well, I got to buy a flat-screen TV

463
00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:11,588
and some home theater speakers.

464
00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:13,424
It's not for me to say,

465
00:19:13,426 --> 00:19:15,693
but have you ever considered investing

466
00:19:15,695 --> 00:19:17,828
in running water and food?

467
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:20,431
I got to pay somebody back.

468
00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:22,393
You don't have to explain.

469
00:19:23,401 --> 00:19:24,935
Here's 2,000.

470
00:19:27,439 --> 00:19:29,239
I can't take this check.

471
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:30,407
Why not?

472
00:19:30,409 --> 00:19:31,909
First of all,

473
00:19:31,911 --> 00:19:34,211
my name's not Bruce Wayne.

474
00:19:34,213 --> 00:19:36,046
It's Nolan.

475
00:19:36,048 --> 00:19:38,415
I don't think charity's going to help.

476
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,884
What I need is a job.

477
00:19:40,886 --> 00:19:42,553
I just don't know where.

478
00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:46,390
I own a limo company.

479
00:19:46,392 --> 00:19:48,325
You could be a driver.

480
00:19:48,327 --> 00:19:49,360
I'll take it.

481
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:50,994
Although I will need a ride to work.

482
00:19:50,996 --> 00:19:52,763
Done.

483
00:19:56,301 --> 00:19:59,436
Here is my signed affidavit.

484
00:19:59,438 --> 00:20:01,038
This guy's going down.

485
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,373
Thank you.

486
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,508
"Thank you"? That's it?

487
00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:06,343
I know you're going to take shots at me,

488
00:20:06,345 --> 00:20:08,479
so go for it. Do your worst.

489
00:20:08,481 --> 00:20:10,013
What exactly was I going to say?

490
00:20:10,015 --> 00:20:13,450
That I "Gotta have it."

491
00:20:13,452 --> 00:20:16,620
That I wear Velcro clothes for easy access.

492
00:20:17,822 --> 00:20:19,690
That I like to get my ticket punched

493
00:20:19,692 --> 00:20:22,292
for the Bonetown Express. All aboard!

494
00:20:23,528 --> 00:20:26,463
I would never say any of that.

495
00:20:26,465 --> 00:20:28,532
Except maybe Bonetown Express.

496
00:20:28,534 --> 00:20:30,414
That was kind of clever.

497
00:20:31,269 --> 00:20:34,271
Although I don't know about, "All aboard."

498
00:20:34,273 --> 00:20:36,140
That seemed a little easy,

499
00:20:36,142 --> 00:20:37,574
like you.

500
00:20:40,478 --> 00:20:42,546
Okay.

501
00:20:42,548 --> 00:20:45,282
Now that we got that out of our systems,

502
00:20:45,284 --> 00:20:48,685
why were you so late leaving
the retreat last night?

503
00:20:48,687 --> 00:20:51,188
Well, while you were doing God knows what

504
00:20:51,190 --> 00:20:52,723
with God knows why,

505
00:20:52,725 --> 00:20:54,958
I stayed up all night

506
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,194
compiling additional 
evidence for the A.P.A.

507
00:20:57,196 --> 00:20:58,695
It took me hours.

508
00:20:58,697 --> 00:21:00,197
Hey, Charlie.

509
00:21:00,199 --> 00:21:01,465
Oh, hey, Jordan.

510
00:21:01,467 --> 00:21:03,308
I'm so happy you guys

511
00:21:03,334 --> 00:21:06,126
are getting Dr. Randy license pulled,

512
00:21:06,269 --> 00:21:09,214
I had no idea what he was doing.

513
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,217
I'll see you back upstairs.

514
00:21:14,092 --> 00:21:16,920
Oh and, I may have slept with Penny.

515
00:21:21,975 --> 00:21:24,045
Well, that was much better than that.

516
00:21:24,901 --> 00:21:29,463
sync and corrections by <font color="#FF0000">dreaMaker7</font>
www.addic7ed.com

