1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:02,716
How's everybody doin' today?
2
00:00:03,346 --> 00:00:04,799
Any anger problems?
3
00:00:04,824 --> 00:00:07,848
Actually, I screamed at
a *** this morning.
4
00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:08,957
How bad was the ticket?
5
00:00:08,974 --> 00:00:10,216
Oh, I didn't get a ticket, but...
6
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I've just gotten so many in the past.
7
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I felt she had it coming.
8
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See? See? Right there.
9
00:00:15,839 --> 00:00:18,557
That is exactly one of the
problems I think you all face.
10
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Getting angry when you assume something bad
11
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is going to happen before it ever does.
12
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So I have come up with a little game
13
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to help you deal with this issue head-on.
14
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Oh, getting drunk.
15
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I've been playing this
game since I was seven.
16
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No, no, no, no. We're not getting drunk.
17
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It's kind of like Russian
roulette with beer cans.
18
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Or what I like to call "The Beer Hunter."
19
00:00:46,202 --> 00:00:49,755
Whether we drink it or not,
did you have to go domestic?
20
00:00:51,207 --> 00:00:53,759
Now, I just shook up one of these beers,
21
00:00:53,843 --> 00:00:55,844
but I don't know which one.
22
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So you're all going to hold the
beer up to your chin and open it.
23
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So somebody's gonna get soaked.
24
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I don't know. There's six
beers and I only shook up one.
25
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Maybe nobody will get soaked.
26
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Let's start with you, Nolan.
27
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You weren't nervous at all.
28
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I've seen enough movies.
It's never the first one.
29
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All right, Lacey, you're next.
30
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I'm so pissed right now.
31
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I just got my hair done.
If this gets all over me...
32
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It'll be just another one
of your Saturday nights.
33
00:01:24,074 --> 00:01:26,542
You see, Lacey? You're getting
angry and nothing's happened yet.
34
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And odds are, nothing will.
35
00:01:28,244 --> 00:01:29,912
But we know it's not Nolan
36
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and there's only four
of us and six beers cans.
37
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That means there's a 50% chance it's me.
38
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And there's a 100% chance I'll
never ask you to do my taxes.
39
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Hmm. Thank you for the lesson, Charlie,
40
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but you all missed out because
I look amazing when I'm wet.
41
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Patrick, give her your beer.
42
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No, no, no. No, no. Ed's next.
43
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Mine's fine.
44
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Oh, my God, then it's me.
45
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Damn it. Give me another one.
46
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No, no. Sorry. Game's over.
47
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(Chuckles) I know what you did.
48
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You didn't shake any of them up.
49
00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:16,925
No, actually, I shook
up, like, four of them.
50
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I don't know what the hell happened.
51
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All right, if we're all done
and Lacey's not gonna get wet,
52
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I have some surprising news.
53
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You remember that job I got
last week driving the limo?
54
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I still have it.
55
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- That's great, Nolan.
- Yeah.
56
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I'm inviting everybody
out for a free limo ride.
57
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So we can sit across
from each other and talk.
58
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How exciting.
59
00:02:39,566 --> 00:02:42,818
Actually, I have an awesome
client who gives me $100 tips,
60
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so I'm taking you all
out to lunch in Malibu.
61
00:02:46,039 --> 00:02:48,741
That sounds like a great
team-building exercise.
62
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And I hear the new Malibu
Taco Bell/Dairy Queen
63
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is right on the water.
64
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Thanks for giving it away.
65
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I'm in. I never turn down a free lunch.
66
00:03:00,553 --> 00:03:04,173
Or one of those bags of top soil in
front of a home improvement center.
67
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Ed, those bags are not free.
68
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Anything out front is fair game.
69
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This country owes me.
70
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Whoops. Sorry to interrupt.
71
00:03:15,402 --> 00:03:18,604
- No problem.
- Mm. Very nice.
72
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Oh, you know the garden hose that
I leave out in front of my house?
73
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- It's missing.
- Maybe you shouldn't leave it out front.
74
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Okay.
75
00:03:30,366 --> 00:03:32,117
Okay, everybody, cross your fingers.
76
00:03:32,202 --> 00:03:33,869
- Why?
- Just do it.
77
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(Beer can opens, fizzes)
78
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Sean: Son of a bitch!
79
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Thank God one of them worked.
80
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I thought today was gonna suck.
81
00:03:45,131 --> 00:03:47,850
Hi, everyone. I'd like to
introduce a new member of our group.
82
00:03:47,884 --> 00:03:51,970
- Randy Warren.
- Uh, Dr. Randy Warren.
83
00:03:52,055 --> 00:03:54,773
Actually, the APA revoked that title
84
00:03:54,858 --> 00:03:56,275
because you were a fraud.
85
00:03:56,359 --> 00:03:58,527
Well, the jokes on you
because I had my name
86
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legally changed to Dr. Randy Warren.
87
00:04:02,565 --> 00:04:04,366
Ooh, my mama gonna be so proud
88
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,452
when I tell her I'm marrying a doctor.
89
00:04:07,821 --> 00:04:10,372
Oh, it's just a matter of time, sugar.
90
00:04:10,406 --> 00:04:13,075
Look, you should know
your beloved therapist
91
00:04:13,159 --> 00:04:15,661
turned me in and got me sent to prison.
92
00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:19,248
I got your license revoked because
you claimed to have psychic powers.
93
00:04:19,332 --> 00:04:21,834
And you're the one who
kidnapped an APA board member.
94
00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:24,753
And drove to Mexico with 100 tabs of LSD
95
00:04:24,804 --> 00:04:27,139
in a stolen police car.
96
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,925
But you knocked over the first domino.
97
00:04:31,261 --> 00:04:33,595
Charlie, you're wrong about Dr. Randy.
98
00:04:33,646 --> 00:04:35,147
He has magical powers.
99
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,598
Before we ever talked,
100
00:04:36,683 --> 00:04:38,600
he knew the name of the gang I was in.
101
00:04:38,685 --> 00:04:40,819
It's written on your neck.
102
00:04:40,904 --> 00:04:43,188
Yeah, but he read it upside down
103
00:04:43,273 --> 00:04:44,773
while I was holding him over the railing.
104
00:04:46,743 --> 00:04:49,278
- Charlie, can I talk to you?
- I'm in the middle of group.
105
00:04:49,329 --> 00:04:52,281
It's about the group. The
warden is shutting it down.
106
00:04:52,332 --> 00:04:54,116
- Ooh!
- What?
107
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,669
If you want to change your name to
"Unemployed Therapist Charlie Goodson,"
108
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I have some extra forms.
109
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I'm good.
110
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You know, it's a shame we
never got a chance to talk about
111
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,627
why you hate black people
and Mexicans so much.
112
00:05:07,764 --> 00:05:08,630
(Mouths)
113
00:05:10,383 --> 00:05:11,967
(Theme music playing)
114
00:05:12,002 --> 00:05:17,002
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
115
00:05:19,003 --> 00:05:21,288
I've put in four hard
years with that group.
116
00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:23,039
And those men are doing great.
117
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,958
Why would the warden be
against anger therapy?
118
00:05:25,042 --> 00:05:27,627
I don't know. The email just
says they're shutting it down.
119
00:05:27,712 --> 00:05:30,297
Oh, and your metal fork experiment is over.
120
00:05:30,381 --> 00:05:33,767
Even one fork-related
stabbing is too many.
121
00:05:33,851 --> 00:05:36,219
You know, they can have the
metal forks, but screw him.
122
00:05:36,304 --> 00:05:39,139
- I'm not letting him take away my group.
- Charlie, wait.
123
00:05:39,223 --> 00:05:42,025
If you piss off the warden,
we could lose the clinic, too.
124
00:05:42,059 --> 00:05:43,894
Let's use some anger management techniques.
125
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Take a few deep breaths.
126
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,481
(Breathes deeply)
127
00:05:50,401 --> 00:05:51,568
Better?
128
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,737
No. Now I'm furious and lightheaded.
129
00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:55,872
Okay. Okay.
130
00:05:55,907 --> 00:05:57,958
Let's try something silly
131
00:05:58,042 --> 00:06:00,961
to break the escalating
pattern of angry thoughts.
132
00:06:01,045 --> 00:06:03,663
- Like what?
- I... I don't know.
133
00:06:03,748 --> 00:06:06,132
- Got your nose.
- That's not funny. Give it back.
134
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Give it back!
135
00:06:08,886 --> 00:06:10,387
Okay.
136
00:06:12,256 --> 00:06:13,974
I'm sorry.
137
00:06:14,058 --> 00:06:16,259
I had a drunk uncle who took my nose
138
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:19,563
when I was five at a family picnic.
139
00:06:19,597 --> 00:06:21,264
He had a heart attack playing softball
140
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:22,899
and never gave it back.
141
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,822
I stole this one off Timmy
Wilson in second grade,
142
00:06:28,906 --> 00:06:30,607
so it's a bit of a sore spot.
143
00:06:36,781 --> 00:06:40,534
Nolan, can you tell Ed to please sit down?
144
00:06:40,618 --> 00:06:44,120
Hey, I'm just giving
the neighborhood ladies
145
00:06:44,205 --> 00:06:45,622
a little something to enjoy.
146
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,707
Oh, they're enjoying it.
147
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:50,627
Carol, look. That must be a special walrus.
148
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:52,629
They're driving him to
the zoo in a limousine.
149
00:06:54,465 --> 00:06:56,633
(Cell phone rings)
150
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:59,769
You're rolling with Nolan.
151
00:06:59,804 --> 00:07:02,272
Oh, hey, Mr. Williams.
152
00:07:02,306 --> 00:07:04,391
Sure, I can. I'm in the
neighborhood right now.
153
00:07:04,475 --> 00:07:05,942
I'll be over in a sec.
154
00:07:05,977 --> 00:07:08,028
Sorry, guys.
155
00:07:08,112 --> 00:07:10,113
You're all gonna have to get
out so I can pick up a client.
156
00:07:10,147 --> 00:07:12,399
Get out? We're in the middle of nowhere.
157
00:07:12,483 --> 00:07:14,484
We're in Beverly Hills. You grew up here.
158
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:17,153
I know, but I can't be
seen with these guys.
159
00:07:17,238 --> 00:07:20,373
I mean, the only reason I'm here
is because the windows are tinted.
160
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:22,626
I'm sorry, but my customer
161
00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:24,911
expects the car to
himself and he tips me big.
162
00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:26,713
Lighten up, Nolan.
163
00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:29,549
Just tell him that we're the
LA Limo Inspection Committee.
164
00:07:29,634 --> 00:07:32,002
And we're just here to sit in for the day
165
00:07:32,086 --> 00:07:34,087
- and make sure you're doing a good job.
- How am I doing?
166
00:07:34,171 --> 00:07:36,339
We're not at liberty to disclose
167
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,642
what is in our report at this time.
168
00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:40,844
All right, fine.
169
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,679
I'll be right back. Be cool.
170
00:07:46,017 --> 00:07:49,853
He left the keys in the
ignition. Let's go to Vegas.
171
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,072
Ah, hell. Vegas is a cesspool.
172
00:07:52,156 --> 00:07:54,157
Let's go to Lubbock.
173
00:07:54,191 --> 00:07:56,860
Wait. That guy's really cute.
174
00:08:01,866 --> 00:08:04,417
Uh, excuse me, Nolan. Is
there some sort of mix up here?
175
00:08:04,502 --> 00:08:06,703
Oh, I probably should
have told you, but today,
176
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:10,040
I'm being observed by the Los
Angeles Limo Inspection Committee.
177
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:11,374
Hope that's okay.
178
00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:15,178
We've inspected the limo
and the ride is smooth.
179
00:08:15,212 --> 00:08:17,881
Like just-got-waxed
smooth.
180
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,382
(Door slams)
181
00:08:21,636 --> 00:08:22,886
I'm Quinn.
182
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:26,189
I'm flexible like a gymnast.
183
00:08:26,223 --> 00:08:28,058
Nice mansion.
184
00:08:28,109 --> 00:08:30,310
It's okay... for the West Coast.
185
00:08:30,394 --> 00:08:32,612
My house on Martha's
Vineyard is much nicer.
186
00:08:32,697 --> 00:08:35,899
So I'm just gonna ask you outright,
187
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,902
is there any chance that you're gay?
188
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,121
No. Not at all.
189
00:08:41,205 --> 00:08:43,990
I heard a little hesitation.
190
00:08:47,244 --> 00:08:50,747
So what are you doing
around 8:00 tomorrow night?
191
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,083
Probably soaking in a bubble bath
192
00:08:53,134 --> 00:08:55,001
after naked yoga
193
00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:58,171
wishing someone was there
to massage my aching muscles.
194
00:08:58,255 --> 00:09:00,256
Why?
195
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,009
Nolan, you can drive us on a
date tomorrow night, can't you?
196
00:09:03,094 --> 00:09:05,595
Yeah, sure. That's fine.
197
00:09:07,064 --> 00:09:08,314
Can you excuse me for a minute?
198
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,604
(Cell phone chiming)
199
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,158
Hello. Yes, Nolan.
200
00:09:19,493 --> 00:09:21,611
Yes, I really do want to go out with him.
201
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,163
(Door opens)
202
00:09:25,249 --> 00:09:27,617
Just checking the tire pressure.
203
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,285
We're good to go.
204
00:09:34,759 --> 00:09:36,676
I need to see Warden Maclasky.
205
00:09:36,761 --> 00:09:38,461
I'm sorry, the warden's no longer here.
206
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,180
At a quarter to 4:00?
207
00:09:40,264 --> 00:09:42,465
Well, I certainly applaud
his commitment to his work.
208
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,267
Is he coming back?
209
00:09:44,301 --> 00:09:48,138
No, he quit on Tuesday after
being stabbed with a metal fork.
210
00:09:48,189 --> 00:09:50,774
Oh.
211
00:09:50,808 --> 00:09:52,525
Is there something I can help you with?
212
00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:54,477
Yeah, I guess I need to see the new warden.
213
00:09:54,562 --> 00:09:57,280
- And who shall I say is here?
- Charlie Goodson.
214
00:09:57,314 --> 00:09:58,782
And tell him he better
be prepared to explain
215
00:09:58,816 --> 00:10:00,116
why he's shutting down my prison group.
216
00:10:01,819 --> 00:10:04,788
Warden Hartley, Charlie
Goodson is here to see you.
217
00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:07,624
Just so you know, I am
about to use some language,
218
00:10:07,658 --> 00:10:09,826
which, even though you work
in a maximum security prison,
219
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,327
you may not have heard before.
220
00:10:14,215 --> 00:10:17,167
- I'm Warden Hartley.
- Hey. How are you? Charlie Goodson.
221
00:10:17,251 --> 00:10:20,470
It's a pleasure to meet you.
222
00:10:20,504 --> 00:10:22,756
Sorry you had to hear that.
223
00:10:32,648 --> 00:10:34,682
Well, I'm off.
224
00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:36,317
Have a great weekend.
225
00:10:36,351 --> 00:10:37,935
Yup. Wait.
226
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,937
Uh, what happened with Warden Maclasky?
227
00:10:40,022 --> 00:10:41,572
Did he reinstate the prison group?
228
00:10:41,657 --> 00:10:43,524
Oh, yeah. Warden Maclasky is gone,
229
00:10:43,575 --> 00:10:45,359
but I did speak to Warden Hartley.
230
00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:47,528
And Warden Hartley is
willing to think about it.
231
00:10:47,612 --> 00:10:49,914
In fact, I'm taking
Warden Hartley to dinner
232
00:10:49,998 --> 00:10:52,033
to discuss the group in greater detail.
233
00:10:52,117 --> 00:10:54,835
- See you Monday.
- Why are you talking like that?
234
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:56,587
This is my voice, Jordan.
235
00:10:56,672 --> 00:10:59,590
Why do you talk like a cartoon chipmunk?
236
00:10:59,675 --> 00:11:02,293
No, no. You're not using any pronouns.
237
00:11:02,377 --> 00:11:04,095
You keep saying, "Warden Hartley."
238
00:11:04,179 --> 00:11:06,263
I call Warden Hartley "Warden Hartley"
239
00:11:06,348 --> 00:11:07,848
because that's Warden Hartley's title.
240
00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:10,685
Like Senator Smith or Officer Jones
241
00:11:10,719 --> 00:11:13,187
or Doctor Cartoon Chipmunk.
242
00:11:13,221 --> 00:11:16,357
- Good-bye.
- Oh, my God.
243
00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:18,642
Warden Hartley is a woman.
244
00:11:18,727 --> 00:11:21,779
Yes, Warden Hartley
may happen to be female.
245
00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:25,032
But as a feminist, I don't notice gender.
246
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:27,535
The reason you didn't mention
247
00:11:27,569 --> 00:11:29,737
that she was a woman is because
you want to sleep with her.
248
00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:32,990
As a feminist, I am appalled.
249
00:11:33,075 --> 00:11:35,459
Charlie, you can't sleep with her.
250
00:11:36,912 --> 00:11:38,496
Eventually, something is gonna go wrong,
251
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:39,914
you guys are gonna start fighting,
252
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:42,466
and she will make our lives a living hell.
253
00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:44,585
Relax. I'm just going to
take her out to dinner,
254
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,971
charm her pants off so
she'll give me back my group.
255
00:11:47,055 --> 00:11:49,256
See, you're going to take her pants off.
256
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,225
I said "charm her pants off."
257
00:11:51,259 --> 00:11:53,761
Either way her pants are coming off.
258
00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:57,982
This woman is the warden
259
00:11:58,066 --> 00:12:00,935
at the prison where we work.
260
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:04,105
And I'm not gonna sleep with
her. I'm smarter than that.
261
00:12:04,189 --> 00:12:06,440
Yes, you are smarter than that.
262
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:08,943
Your penis, however,
makes all the decisions
263
00:12:09,027 --> 00:12:11,495
and that thing never made
it past the fifth grade.
264
00:12:13,415 --> 00:12:16,283
Look, I know I have a reputation.
265
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:17,668
And I worked really hard for it.
266
00:12:19,621 --> 00:12:21,756
But I can control myself.
267
00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:25,760
Well, maybe.
268
00:12:25,794 --> 00:12:28,212
You have been able to
control yourself around me.
269
00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:31,098
Yeah, that's been a herculean effort.
270
00:12:34,469 --> 00:12:36,220
So looking forward to this date, Nolan.
271
00:12:36,304 --> 00:12:39,140
Thanks for introducing me
to Lacey. She's smoking hot.
272
00:12:39,224 --> 00:12:41,559
Glad I get to watch the
two of you go out together.
273
00:12:41,643 --> 00:12:44,028
And the fact that I have to
be sober because I'm working
274
00:12:44,112 --> 00:12:46,647
makes it even better.
275
00:12:46,731 --> 00:12:48,866
So you're friends with her, right?
276
00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:50,451
What's her favorite club?
277
00:12:50,485 --> 00:12:53,320
Uh, well, it's not technically a club,
278
00:12:53,371 --> 00:12:54,955
but she loves the free clinic.
279
00:12:54,990 --> 00:12:57,124
Driven her there a lot.
280
00:12:57,159 --> 00:12:59,293
So whatever she's got,
it's pretty stubborn.
281
00:13:02,464 --> 00:13:05,082
Hi, Nolan. Hey, Quinn.
282
00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:07,251
You look amazing.
283
00:13:07,335 --> 00:13:09,970
Oh, my God. We agree on everything.
284
00:13:11,389 --> 00:13:13,057
I got you something.
285
00:13:14,676 --> 00:13:17,061
(Gasps) Diamond earrings!
286
00:13:17,145 --> 00:13:19,680
Yay! You're as rich as I thought!
287
00:13:19,731 --> 00:13:21,565
I mean, thank you.
288
00:13:25,103 --> 00:13:27,521
(Tires screech)
289
00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:30,491
- Nolan!
- Sorry, squirrel.
290
00:13:33,912 --> 00:13:35,830
(Tires screech)
291
00:13:35,864 --> 00:13:37,865
Sorry, another squirrel.
292
00:13:40,535 --> 00:13:41,869
- (Tires screech)
- Lacey: Ah!
293
00:13:43,371 --> 00:13:45,623
Nolan, what the hell is wrong with you?
294
00:13:45,707 --> 00:13:48,209
Another squirrel. It might be a stampede.
295
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:51,712
Probably have a better chance
of surviving if we all separate.
296
00:13:51,796 --> 00:13:53,881
Quinn, get out here.
297
00:13:57,018 --> 00:13:59,019
Here you go. You guys on a date?
298
00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:01,522
No, no, no. This is
just a business meeting.
299
00:14:01,556 --> 00:14:03,107
She runs the prison where I work.
300
00:14:03,191 --> 00:14:05,309
Well, that's good 'cause
I slept with my boss once
301
00:14:05,393 --> 00:14:07,478
and it got complicated.
302
00:14:07,562 --> 00:14:11,031
It was a small family business
and my boss was my brother-in-law.
303
00:14:11,066 --> 00:14:13,234
Which is probably why it got complicated.
304
00:14:15,704 --> 00:14:18,072
Wow. She slept with
her brother-in-law?
305
00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:21,208
Yeah, I guess maybe she ran out of cousins.
306
00:14:21,243 --> 00:14:23,744
Look, Charlie, I'm going to level with you.
307
00:14:23,795 --> 00:14:26,330
I'm cutting your therapy group
because a lot of people think
308
00:14:26,414 --> 00:14:28,332
that convicted criminals
should be punished,
309
00:14:28,416 --> 00:14:30,634
not sitting around in a little pink room
310
00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:32,336
talking about their feelings.
311
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,255
So we'll paint the room a different color.
312
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:36,173
Problem solved. You want dessert?
313
00:14:36,258 --> 00:14:39,927
Charlie, this warden
thing is short term for me.
314
00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:42,897
In a couple of months, I'm going to
be running for state attorney general
315
00:14:42,931 --> 00:14:46,317
and a lot of the people I'm
talking about are campaign donors.
316
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:48,319
But if you end the group now,
317
00:14:48,403 --> 00:14:50,104
all my hard work flies out the window
318
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,072
and you're left with a
bunch of angry prisoners.
319
00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:55,409
You know what else flies out
the window? Other prisoners.
320
00:14:55,443 --> 00:14:57,995
I'm sorry, Charlie. It'll look bad for me.
321
00:14:58,079 --> 00:15:00,114
You know what's really
gonna look bad for you?
322
00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,167
When your angry prisoners
stage a massive riot
323
00:15:03,251 --> 00:15:04,752
and shoot down a police helicopter
324
00:15:04,786 --> 00:15:07,421
and everybody's asking
you why you let it happen.
325
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:09,623
And how exactly
326
00:15:09,674 --> 00:15:11,458
did the prisoners shoot down a helicopter?
327
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,961
These guys can make
weapons out of anything.
328
00:15:14,045 --> 00:15:16,714
I've seen an underwear slingshot
kill a mouse at 50 paces.
329
00:15:18,683 --> 00:15:20,601
So I don't think your little
helicopter is gonna be a problem.
330
00:15:23,104 --> 00:15:25,639
I'm really impressed by
your passion, Charlie.
331
00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:28,976
And based on that, I
promise I'll reconsider.
332
00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:31,028
Well, thank you.
333
00:15:31,112 --> 00:15:33,480
You know what's funny? My
partner was actually worried
334
00:15:33,531 --> 00:15:36,483
- that this meeting might not go well.
- Why?
335
00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:40,404
I guess she figured 'cause you're a
woman and I couldn't control myself.
336
00:15:40,488 --> 00:15:42,823
I'd hit on you and we'd
end up sleeping together.
337
00:15:42,907 --> 00:15:45,826
Wow. Um, that's kind of insulting to me.
338
00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:47,544
As if I wouldn't have
any say in the matter.
339
00:15:47,629 --> 00:15:50,831
I know, right? I mean, even though
I find you incredibly attractive,
340
00:15:50,915 --> 00:15:54,218
it's not like I'm some animal
that just has to have you.
341
00:15:54,302 --> 00:15:56,420
I mean, just because we feel that way,
342
00:15:56,504 --> 00:15:58,339
doesn't mean we have to act on it.
343
00:15:58,423 --> 00:16:00,174
I am really offended.
344
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,809
So am I.
345
00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:06,180
The nerve of her.
346
00:16:06,264 --> 00:16:09,516
I'm telling Jordan tomorrow
to mind her own business.
347
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:11,352
Why would she talk about me?
348
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:12,987
She doesn't even know me.
349
00:16:13,021 --> 00:16:15,406
I think she owes us both an
apology, I'll tell you that.
350
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:17,274
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
351
00:16:17,359 --> 00:16:18,859
(Both exhale)
352
00:16:18,943 --> 00:16:21,528
- You're a good spanker.
- Thanks.
353
00:16:28,643 --> 00:16:31,144
This is the best day of shopping ever.
354
00:16:31,212 --> 00:16:33,447
It's so cool when everything's free.
355
00:16:33,481 --> 00:16:36,900
Well, it wasn't free, Lacey. I paid for it.
356
00:16:36,985 --> 00:16:40,821
Oh, I know, but it was free for me.
357
00:16:40,905 --> 00:16:43,156
God, you're wonderful.
358
00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:44,825
Why don't you come over
359
00:16:44,909 --> 00:16:47,411
and I'll tear that new lingerie off of you?
360
00:16:47,495 --> 00:16:50,747
Nolan, take us back to my place.
361
00:16:50,832 --> 00:16:53,500
No. I won't do it.
362
00:16:53,584 --> 00:16:55,168
What?
363
00:16:55,219 --> 00:16:57,554
Mr. Williams, you think
you can come in here
364
00:16:57,638 --> 00:16:59,306
and buy Lacey all this fancy stuff
365
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,174
and make her happier
than I've ever seen her?
366
00:17:01,225 --> 00:17:02,809
Not on my watch.
367
00:17:04,262 --> 00:17:05,846
Get another driver.
368
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:07,731
Look, Nolan, I get it.
369
00:17:07,815 --> 00:17:10,734
You're upset because you like
Lacey and how could you not?
370
00:17:10,818 --> 00:17:13,236
I know, right? I mean, look at me.
371
00:17:13,321 --> 00:17:15,989
But there is no way you're
ever going to get her.
372
00:17:16,024 --> 00:17:19,076
She doesn't want some poor slob who
can't afford to buy her expensive things.
373
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,994
She's way out of your league.
374
00:17:21,029 --> 00:17:24,698
Girls like this are for guys like me.
375
00:17:27,952 --> 00:17:29,836
God, you are a dick.
376
00:17:29,871 --> 00:17:31,338
Get out.
377
00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:35,675
No, not you, Nolan.
378
00:17:40,048 --> 00:17:42,215
You can't talk to my friend that way.
379
00:17:42,266 --> 00:17:43,967
I never want to see you again. Good-bye.
380
00:17:44,052 --> 00:17:46,853
- But this is my limo.
- I said good-bye!
381
00:17:49,107 --> 00:17:52,025
And take your... you know what? Just go.
382
00:17:56,948 --> 00:17:58,398
Wow.
383
00:17:58,449 --> 00:18:00,784
I can't believe you did that.
384
00:18:00,868 --> 00:18:02,786
So I do have a chance with you?
385
00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:05,205
Oh, no. Not at all.
386
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,876
He was absolutely right. I'm
totally out of your league,
387
00:18:09,911 --> 00:18:12,412
but you can't say stuff like that out loud.
388
00:18:12,497 --> 00:18:15,549
It makes poor people sad.
389
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:18,385
Well, you better watch out,
'cause now I've got a job.
390
00:18:18,419 --> 00:18:21,004
And once you get a job, you get money.
391
00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:23,256
And once you get the money...
392
00:18:23,307 --> 00:18:24,975
I'll just take you home.
393
00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:30,597
Hi. You had a number on
the back of your truck
394
00:18:30,681 --> 00:18:33,233
that said I should call if I had a comment.
395
00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:35,402
Your driving was excellent.
396
00:18:38,189 --> 00:18:39,606
You're very welcome.
397
00:18:41,776 --> 00:18:43,944
Are you serious?
398
00:18:43,995 --> 00:18:47,581
It's called positive
reinforcement, jackass.
399
00:18:47,615 --> 00:18:49,449
Let me try it.
400
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:53,120
As a time-wasting
Pollyanna, you're the best.
401
00:18:53,204 --> 00:18:55,288
Thank you.
402
00:18:55,373 --> 00:18:57,374
So how'd it go with the new warden?
403
00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,960
My group lives on. I
was incredibly persuasive
404
00:19:00,011 --> 00:19:02,095
and I didn't even have to sleep
with her to get what I wanted.
405
00:19:02,130 --> 00:19:04,464
Sorry. I underestimated you.
406
00:19:04,515 --> 00:19:05,966
Yes, you did.
407
00:19:06,017 --> 00:19:07,634
I slept with her after I got what I wanted.
408
00:19:09,804 --> 00:19:12,806
Charlie, you know what's
going to happen now, don't you?
409
00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:14,774
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're
going to say the same thing
410
00:19:14,809 --> 00:19:16,309
in different ways all afternoon.
411
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,311
And tonight, I'm gonna
to sleep with her again.
412
00:19:20,648 --> 00:19:23,366
- Hello, Mr. Goodson.
- Good afternoon, Warden Hartley.
413
00:19:23,451 --> 00:19:25,402
Have you two met?
414
00:19:25,486 --> 00:19:28,321
Warden, this is Jordan. Jordan, Warden.
415
00:19:28,372 --> 00:19:30,373
Warden, Jordan.
416
00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:32,492
Nice to meet you. We
should get coffee sometime
417
00:19:32,577 --> 00:19:34,544
and talk about how even though
Charlie and I are partners,
418
00:19:34,629 --> 00:19:36,496
I can easily run the clinic without him.
419
00:19:38,332 --> 00:19:41,168
You'll have to excuse Jordan.
She's mad at the world.
420
00:19:41,219 --> 00:19:43,003
They cancelled her favorite
show on Animal Planet
421
00:19:43,087 --> 00:19:46,256
and that chat room was
90% of her social life.
422
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:48,842
Hey, since you took me out last time,
423
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:52,312
I just came by to see if you wanted
me to make you dinner tonight.
424
00:19:52,346 --> 00:19:54,731
That's great. Can I bring anything?
425
00:19:54,815 --> 00:19:56,266
Dessert?
426
00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:58,018
Or just the thunder again?
427
00:19:58,102 --> 00:19:59,686
Bring both.
428
00:19:59,737 --> 00:20:01,154
Okay.
429
00:20:01,189 --> 00:20:03,356
I'll bring the thunder.
430
00:20:03,441 --> 00:20:04,941
And a chocolate cream pie.
431
00:20:07,078 --> 00:20:10,030
I mean, it's the least I can do
after you spared my prison group.
432
00:20:10,081 --> 00:20:13,083
We should talk about that.
433
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:17,087
Look, Charlie, I'm sorry, but
I have to cancel the group.
434
00:20:17,171 --> 00:20:19,339
- What?!
- I talked to my advisors
435
00:20:19,373 --> 00:20:21,291
and they just felt from a PR standpoint,
436
00:20:21,375 --> 00:20:22,592
that it wouldn't be good for me.
437
00:20:22,677 --> 00:20:24,211
But what about last night?
438
00:20:24,295 --> 00:20:26,012
After everything we said.
439
00:20:26,047 --> 00:20:27,547
And screamed.
440
00:20:27,632 --> 00:20:30,850
So wait, you think that sleeping with me
441
00:20:30,885 --> 00:20:33,019
guarantees that I'll do whatever you want?
442
00:20:33,054 --> 00:20:34,304
I didn't think it would guarantee it,
443
00:20:34,388 --> 00:20:35,772
but I certainly thought it would help.
444
00:20:35,856 --> 00:20:39,392
The fact that you think I owe you
something really pisses me off.
445
00:20:39,477 --> 00:20:41,895
Well, if you're feeling angry,
you should stop by my group.
446
00:20:41,946 --> 00:20:44,447
Oh, that's right. You cancelled my group.
447
00:20:44,532 --> 00:20:46,566
You know what? I don't have time for this.
448
00:20:46,617 --> 00:20:48,118
Really? 'Cause I've got
an extra hour every day
449
00:20:48,202 --> 00:20:50,287
because you cancelled my group.
450
00:20:53,741 --> 00:20:56,076
What did you do?
451
00:20:56,127 --> 00:20:58,378
She shut down my prison group.
452
00:20:58,412 --> 00:21:01,081
I knew if you slept with her that
there would be tension and weirdness.
453
00:21:01,165 --> 00:21:03,383
The fact that I slept with
her has nothing to do with it.
454
00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:05,752
There's tension and
weirdness wherever I go.
455
00:21:05,836 --> 00:21:08,138
Now they're going to
shut down the clinic, too.
456
00:21:08,222 --> 00:21:10,590
Will you calm down? I'll figure this out.
457
00:21:10,641 --> 00:21:12,809
You got involved with her
and then you got into a fight
458
00:21:12,893 --> 00:21:16,429
and now it's just a matter of time before
everything... completely in the crapper.
459
00:21:16,514 --> 00:21:19,432
- I was right. I knew I was right.
- Well, congratulations.
460
00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:21,401
I wish there was a number
on your ass that I could call
461
00:21:21,435 --> 00:21:22,819
and tell everyone what
a great job you're doing.
462
00:21:23,414 --> 00:21:24,970
_
463
00:21:25,005 --> 00:21:30,005
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com