1
00:00:01,272 --> 00:00:02,272
_

2
00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:03,790
Oh,
I hate reading the newspaper.

3
00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:05,458
They cover all the important
society women.

4
00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:06,876
Why not me? Look at this one.

5
00:00:06,878 --> 00:00:08,928
"Esmerelda Franco, age 52.

6
00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:10,346
Left behind 2 children

7
00:00:10,348 --> 00:00:12,265
- and 77 grandchildren."
- That's an obituary.

8
00:00:12,267 --> 00:00:13,600
Well, I agree with Lillian.

9
00:00:13,602 --> 00:00:19,522
Look! Why is there
this stupid Str-- St--

10
00:00:19,524 --> 00:00:21,441
Ugh, that damn
Stringburger baby!

11
00:00:21,443 --> 00:00:23,142
- Yes!
- She gets all the attention

12
00:00:23,144 --> 00:00:24,227
now-- she got lucky.

13
00:00:24,229 --> 00:00:25,528
She's in the paper every day.

14
00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:27,030
Have a little perspective.

15
00:00:27,032 --> 00:00:28,698
- That girl was abducted.
- She's not a girl.

16
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:30,984
She's a baby,
and she's not even pretty.

17
00:00:30,986 --> 00:00:33,236
I don't understand why some
stupid kidnapped baby

18
00:00:33,238 --> 00:00:34,954
is getting all this attention.

19
00:00:34,956 --> 00:00:36,656
I have eight babies of my own,
and I can't give them away.

20
00:00:36,658 --> 00:00:38,825
An innocent girl was kidnapped!

21
00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:42,328
I'd say that deserves
a little attention.

22
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:43,579
Damn it, you're right.

23
00:00:43,581 --> 00:00:46,049
If a stupid baby
who can't read, write,

24
00:00:46,051 --> 00:00:47,834
or make
love is making headlines,

25
00:00:47,836 --> 00:00:51,337
imagine the hubbub if America's
sweetheart went missing.

26
00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:52,672
- Helen Keller?
- Santa Claus?

27
00:00:52,674 --> 00:00:54,223
- Susan B Anthony?
- Frederick?

28
00:00:54,225 --> 00:00:57,977
- Harry Houdini.
- I'm talking about me!

29
00:00:58,897 --> 00:01:00,730
I'm talking about me.

30
00:01:12,095 --> 00:01:15,032
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

31
00:01:17,749 --> 00:01:22,201
Hey! Psst.

32
00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:24,287
I hear you're the type of guy
who's not afraid to get

33
00:01:24,289 --> 00:01:27,040
- his hands dirty.
- What?

34
00:01:27,042 --> 00:01:28,841
I hear you are
a deranged criminal.

35
00:01:28,843 --> 00:01:30,293
Oh, that.

36
00:01:30,295 --> 00:01:33,796
Well, one man's Jew tracker
is another man's Jew--

37
00:01:33,798 --> 00:01:36,466
I didn't come here
for anecdotes from a dogman.

38
00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:38,184
Well, why did you come here,
princess?

39
00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:39,469
I want you to kidnap me.

40
00:01:39,471 --> 00:01:41,354
I want to ride that wave
of abduction fame

41
00:01:41,356 --> 00:01:42,772
that's all the rage right now.

42
00:01:42,774 --> 00:01:48,478
Well, that depends
what you're offering.

43
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,396
What do I think
kidnapping's going to be like?

44
00:01:50,398 --> 00:01:52,949
Hmm. Maybe a little R&R.

45
00:01:52,951 --> 00:01:55,234
Perhaps a maritime
retreat to Nova Scotia

46
00:01:55,236 --> 00:01:57,987
for a gravlox tasting!

47
00:01:57,989 --> 00:02:01,074
Come later today, after
my hot-air-balloon lesson.

48
00:02:01,076 --> 00:02:02,158
Oh, and do me a favor.

49
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,743
Make sure to bathe.

50
00:02:03,745 --> 00:02:08,047
Can't have my shoulder
smelling like a beef roast.

51
00:02:08,049 --> 00:02:09,749
Oh, I'm sorry.

52
00:02:09,751 --> 00:02:13,970
Like shit.

53
00:02:17,258 --> 00:02:19,092
You rang, Madam?

54
00:02:19,094 --> 00:02:21,260
Yes.
I need something from you.

55
00:02:21,262 --> 00:02:23,012
You've already
had enough morphine

56
00:02:23,014 --> 00:02:24,897
to kill a ragtime singer.

57
00:02:24,899 --> 00:02:27,266
No. I've been invited

58
00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:29,402
to a "Meeting of The Minds"
luncheon

59
00:02:29,404 --> 00:02:31,738
at Mark Twain's home
in Providence.

60
00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:35,608
I simply must go,
but cannot be unattended.

61
00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:38,444
I need you to put
on one of my husband's suits

62
00:02:38,446 --> 00:02:40,496
and accompany me
to the luncheon,

63
00:02:40,498 --> 00:02:44,367
never betraying to anyone
that you are not he.

64
00:02:44,369 --> 00:02:46,452
They'll discover the charade
immediately.

65
00:02:46,454 --> 00:02:49,172
I-- I carry myself
like a servant.

66
00:02:49,174 --> 00:02:51,624
Look. Do you see?

67
00:02:51,626 --> 00:02:54,460
The unsightly gait
of a common flea!

68
00:02:54,462 --> 00:02:56,129
I'm little better than a Gypsy.

69
00:02:56,131 --> 00:02:58,965
Half a step
removed from Mongoloid.

70
00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,633
No, Madam, I-- I beg you.

71
00:03:00,635 --> 00:03:04,971
It will never work.
It's simply unthinkable.

72
00:03:04,973 --> 00:03:08,975
It is an order.

73
00:03:08,977 --> 00:03:10,810
As you wish, Madam.

74
00:03:19,871 --> 00:03:22,822
No, Blanche,
I said I wanted this dress.

75
00:03:22,824 --> 00:03:25,992
Oh, but Miss Beatrice,
this is the exact same dress.

76
00:03:25,994 --> 00:03:27,293
Blanche, I'm not an idiot.

77
00:03:27,295 --> 00:03:28,494
This one is small.

78
00:03:28,496 --> 00:03:30,163
That one is big.

79
00:03:30,165 --> 00:03:33,499
Aah!
I hate you!

80
00:03:33,501 --> 00:03:34,834
Where did you get this dress?

81
00:03:34,836 --> 00:03:36,219
In town?

82
00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:37,303
Burn it!

83
00:03:37,305 --> 00:03:39,172
I look ugly all the time!

84
00:03:39,174 --> 00:03:40,673
You hate me, Blanche!

85
00:03:40,675 --> 00:03:44,677
You hate me! That's
why you make me dress like this!

86
00:03:44,679 --> 00:03:46,062
I'm sorry, Miss Beatrice.

87
00:03:46,064 --> 00:03:47,680
I--

88
00:03:47,682 --> 00:03:49,182
Emotions aren't something
I understand,

89
00:03:49,184 --> 00:03:51,350
but I just keep screaming
until I get my way,

90
00:03:51,352 --> 00:03:53,603
vomit, or get my way.

91
00:03:53,605 --> 00:03:56,272
Clean up the mess
you made, Blanche!

92
00:04:00,028 --> 00:04:02,195
"Sincerely,

93
00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:06,165
The Kidnapper."

94
00:04:13,341 --> 00:04:15,424
Oh, farmers.

95
00:04:15,426 --> 00:04:17,877
Oh, farmers.

96
00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:19,212
Farmers.

97
00:04:52,797 --> 00:04:54,714
What is all that howling
and crashing?

98
00:04:54,716 --> 00:04:57,049
It's just
Beatrice's Wednesday tantrum.

99
00:04:57,051 --> 00:04:59,719
She'll vomit,
and then men-stru-ate,

100
00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:01,470
and then all will be well.

101
00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:06,592
One more,
below the 86th parallel.

102
00:05:06,594 --> 00:05:09,478
- Garfield.
- Mm-hmm.

103
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:10,846
I've never been more afraid.

104
00:05:10,848 --> 00:05:12,815
Don't worry.
You'll do great!

105
00:05:12,817 --> 00:05:16,352
I'm not talking about myself,
you syphilitic chimney sweep!

106
00:05:16,354 --> 00:05:18,938
I'm talking about you
running things in my absence.

107
00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,823
If so much
as a single cob of corn

108
00:05:20,825 --> 00:05:23,659
is out of place when I return,
I'll shove it into your rectum

109
00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:27,163
along with your termination
notice. One more.

110
00:05:27,165 --> 00:05:29,165
You must clean this up,
Blanche.

111
00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:31,450
Don't be an idiot.

112
00:05:31,452 --> 00:05:34,453
Don't be--

113
00:05:34,455 --> 00:05:36,372
Don't be an idiot.

114
00:05:47,302 --> 00:05:50,853
I do spend a lot of time
in Paris.

115
00:05:57,979 --> 00:06:01,314
Why, Peepers,
you look almost human.

116
00:06:01,316 --> 00:06:03,282
Madam, I assure you I am not.

117
00:06:03,284 --> 00:06:06,986
Shall I lash myself to the roof,
or stuff myself in the trunk?

118
00:06:06,988 --> 00:06:09,989
Oh, no, no.
You'll ride in back with me.

119
00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:11,157
Oh, no, Madam.

120
00:06:11,159 --> 00:06:13,542
My bottom was not meant
for comfortable things,

121
00:06:13,544 --> 00:06:15,494
and it would not be proper.

122
00:06:15,496 --> 00:06:18,164
It is an order.

123
00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:19,915
As you wish, Madam.

124
00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:27,089
Really?

125
00:06:27,925 --> 00:06:30,559
Oh.

126
00:06:30,561 --> 00:06:32,094
Hello.

127
00:06:32,096 --> 00:06:34,847
Are you lost? Did you wander
into the wrong manor?

128
00:06:34,849 --> 00:06:37,183
Where are your lady's maids?
Do you want to be best friends?

129
00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:38,734
- I don't understand. What--
- Come on.

130
00:06:38,736 --> 00:06:40,152
What--
I don't.

131
00:06:40,154 --> 00:06:42,938
I don't think
Beatrice knows it's me!

132
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:45,524
Then again, I once saw her get
into an argument with an egg,

133
00:06:45,526 --> 00:06:47,743
and she lost, so.

134
00:06:59,874 --> 00:07:02,208
How dare you treat
me so roughly?

135
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:04,126
- What the hell was that?
- An abduction.

136
00:07:04,128 --> 00:07:06,212
What do you think
a kidnapping is, huh?

137
00:07:06,214 --> 00:07:09,131
A short sabbatical followed
by international acclaim.

138
00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:11,467
I'm the former Under-Duchess
to former Lower Bavaria!

139
00:07:11,469 --> 00:07:16,555
Well, you're the current
duchess of my dirt floor.

140
00:07:16,557 --> 00:07:20,059
Now, would you care
for some tea, Madam?

141
00:07:20,061 --> 00:07:22,778
Finally, a little service
around here.

142
00:07:28,036 --> 00:07:29,485
Oops.

143
00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:30,736
I spilled.

144
00:07:30,738 --> 00:07:32,405
Clean it up, piggy.

145
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:35,991
And while you're at it...

146
00:07:38,212 --> 00:07:39,662
clean that up too.

147
00:07:39,664 --> 00:07:41,714
If you think I'm going anywhere

148
00:07:41,716 --> 00:07:43,249
near that festering mass

149
00:07:43,251 --> 00:07:46,252
of boils you call your penis,
you're wrong.

150
00:07:46,254 --> 00:07:47,503
How do you know
that they're festering?

151
00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:49,138
You been thinking about them?

152
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:51,340
Oh, you just you wait until
my family finds my ransom note!

153
00:07:51,342 --> 00:07:53,059
You'll be sorry!
Ah!

154
00:07:53,061 --> 00:07:55,094
I'll slit your throat, princess.

155
00:08:00,735 --> 00:08:02,985
Maybe I was being
a little rough on her,

156
00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:06,906
but, hey, she said
she wanted it to seem real.

157
00:08:06,908 --> 00:08:08,607
And also, in retrospect,

158
00:08:08,609 --> 00:08:12,695
I probably shouldn't have poured
boiling water on my genitals.

159
00:08:17,432 --> 00:08:19,465
Mr. Mark Twain.

160
00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:23,018
Dodo! What a pleasure
to see you again.

161
00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:25,688
Last I saw you,
I had the sour-mash shits

162
00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:28,224
at your daughter's husband's
fake funeral.

163
00:08:28,226 --> 00:08:30,726
Nasty affair
that turned out to be.

164
00:08:30,728 --> 00:08:34,780
The funeral or the shits?

165
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:38,901
This is my husband,
The Commodore.

166
00:08:38,903 --> 00:08:41,070
Oh, Blanche,

167
00:08:41,072 --> 00:08:42,905
I think you might be
the best friend I've ever had.

168
00:08:42,907 --> 00:08:44,874
Except for my bed, David,
but he's more like family.

169
00:08:44,876 --> 00:08:48,711
Well, the last 30 minutes have
been really amazing for me too.

170
00:08:48,713 --> 00:08:50,329
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Yes.

171
00:08:50,331 --> 00:08:52,214
We had this servant.
Her name was Anna.

172
00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:55,134
That's my sister--'s name.

173
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:56,252
Oh! Funny.

174
00:08:56,254 --> 00:08:57,753
Well, Anna ran away.

175
00:08:57,755 --> 00:08:58,921
Only she didn't run away.

176
00:08:58,923 --> 00:09:00,756
She's in a box, under my bed.

177
00:09:00,758 --> 00:09:01,891
At least, I think she is.

178
00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:03,309
I haven't checked in a while.

179
00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:04,760
Oh! Uh--

180
00:09:04,762 --> 00:09:06,262
everyone needs hobbies.

181
00:09:06,264 --> 00:09:09,899
Garfield, have Blanche
fetch my friend a sandwich.

182
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:13,402
Oh, but Lady Beatrice,
this is Blanche.

183
00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:14,687
I just said Blanche.

184
00:09:14,689 --> 00:09:16,605
You're so stupid!

185
00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:17,990
See, sometimes you
have to be mean to them.

186
00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,192
They respond better that way.
Ooh, try it!

187
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,877
Well, I'm not sure
that I can do that.

188
00:09:21,879 --> 00:09:24,280
You can do it.

189
00:09:24,282 --> 00:09:25,448
Garfield.

190
00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:26,832
Mm-hmm?

191
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,452
You look like you have rickets.

192
00:09:29,454 --> 00:09:30,786
Oh. How did you know?

193
00:09:30,788 --> 00:09:32,788
Not like that! Garfield.

194
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:33,789
Yes, ma'am?

195
00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:36,208
You're fired.

196
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:37,259
I'm a what?

197
00:09:37,261 --> 00:09:39,762
- You're fired.
- I'm fired?

198
00:09:39,764 --> 00:09:42,631
I-- This is the worst day
of my life!

199
00:09:42,633 --> 00:09:44,800
Oh, God!

200
00:09:44,802 --> 00:09:46,969
I can't be fired!

201
00:09:46,971 --> 00:09:48,804
I'm just kidding.
You're not fired.

202
00:09:48,806 --> 00:09:50,306
Oh, very good.

203
00:09:50,308 --> 00:09:51,974
I love to watch the light
go out in their eyes.

204
00:09:51,976 --> 00:09:53,859
Oh, you got me good--

205
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:54,860
But get her that sandwich.

206
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,813
Yes, right away.

207
00:09:57,815 --> 00:10:00,449
I'll have to show you Anna
later.

208
00:10:00,451 --> 00:10:02,651
Yes, please.

209
00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:06,622
Yes.

210
00:10:06,624 --> 00:10:08,491
That's a good little piggy.

211
00:10:08,493 --> 00:10:09,708
Clean it up.

212
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,828
You know what?

213
00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:13,829
Cook me dinner.

214
00:10:13,831 --> 00:10:14,830
What's that?

215
00:10:14,832 --> 00:10:16,048
It's a potato.

216
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,166
Where's the silver tray?

217
00:10:17,168 --> 00:10:18,551
Where's the beurre blanc?

218
00:10:18,553 --> 00:10:20,970
Just cook it.

219
00:10:20,972 --> 00:10:23,506
Not with your hands.

220
00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,841
Teeth.

221
00:10:35,403 --> 00:10:38,153
Now, let us begin
with an absinthe toast!

222
00:10:38,155 --> 00:10:40,239
Raise your glasses.

223
00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:41,774
Mmm.

224
00:10:41,776 --> 00:10:43,953
Drink up, Commodore!

225
00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:50,416
Allow me to introduce
today's guests.

226
00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:56,088
The wild-haired superstar of
Russian Marxism, Leon Trotsky!

227
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:59,842
I am just here to further
the cause of the working class.

228
00:10:59,844 --> 00:11:01,377
Our next guest is a lawyer

229
00:11:01,379 --> 00:11:04,680
who's gotten me
out of many a fraud charge.

230
00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:07,550
Mohandas Gandhi, everyone!

231
00:11:07,552 --> 00:11:10,219
I'm just here
for the white women.

232
00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:13,556
You wicked Oriental elf.

233
00:11:13,558 --> 00:11:14,940
What are you doing, man?

234
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,525
Are you attempting
to serve a warm bisque

235
00:11:16,527 --> 00:11:18,227
with a gazpacho spoon?

236
00:11:18,229 --> 00:11:20,446
What is this, the beer hall?

237
00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:25,067
The Commodore is a--
a stickler for silverware.

238
00:11:25,069 --> 00:11:26,735
I am a stickler
for the barest standards

239
00:11:26,737 --> 00:11:29,204
of propriety from a butler!

240
00:11:29,206 --> 00:11:32,241
Why is Blanche acting
like she isn't one of us?

241
00:11:32,243 --> 00:11:34,043
I mean,
it must be switcheroo day.

242
00:11:34,045 --> 00:11:35,911
There is no switcheroo day.

243
00:11:35,913 --> 00:11:39,298
Beatrice is such an idiot, she
can't tell Blanche is a servant,

244
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,000
because she's
wearing her dress.

245
00:11:41,002 --> 00:11:43,085
But Beatrice can't be an idiot.

246
00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:44,553
She lives upstairs!

247
00:11:44,555 --> 00:11:48,591
Sounds like you need
to switcheroo your attitude,

248
00:11:48,593 --> 00:11:50,059
Chair.

249
00:11:50,061 --> 00:11:51,927
Ready to clean, Eileen?

250
00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:54,263
"Yes, Garfield!"

251
00:11:54,265 --> 00:11:56,932
Don't get jealous, Towel.

252
00:11:56,934 --> 00:11:58,567
I always say,

253
00:11:58,569 --> 00:12:01,937
"Have enough servants
to satisfy your every whim,

254
00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:04,239
but not enough
to murder your family."

255
00:12:04,241 --> 00:12:05,491
Excellent point, Madam--

256
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:07,026
wife-- madam wife.

257
00:12:07,028 --> 00:12:09,361
Families should only be
murdered during revolution.

258
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:11,780
- Gandhi, boy? A rebuttal?
- Well, no offense,

259
00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:13,949
but you sound like you
belong to the bitch caste.

260
00:12:13,951 --> 00:12:17,286
I was raped in a gulag
by Cossacks.

261
00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:19,872
Do you think your insults
mean anything to me?

262
00:12:19,874 --> 00:12:21,206
I don't know what a gulag is,

263
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,459
but I will send
you right back there!

264
00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:24,927
- Come here!
- Mr. Ghandi!

265
00:12:24,929 --> 00:12:26,962
Mr. Ghandi, Mr. Trotsky, please!

266
00:12:26,964 --> 00:12:28,764
Spirited debate is one thing.

267
00:12:28,766 --> 00:12:31,050
Violence is quite another.

268
00:12:31,052 --> 00:12:32,801
Non-violence.

269
00:12:32,803 --> 00:12:35,220
I had never thought of that.

270
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,690
Because I'm not a little bitch!

271
00:12:37,692 --> 00:12:39,141
Ah!

272
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,977
Dear God, please free me.

273
00:12:41,979 --> 00:12:44,146
And if you have time,
make me really famous.

274
00:12:44,148 --> 00:12:45,814
And while you're at it,
God, would you mind

275
00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:47,616
killing all my enemies
in a fire?

276
00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:49,985
Ooh, but hopefully after they
bathe, so their hair's still wet

277
00:12:49,987 --> 00:12:51,904
and the fire
takes longer to cook them.

278
00:12:51,906 --> 00:12:53,572
Ah!

279
00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:55,824
Praying to God, huh?

280
00:12:55,826 --> 00:12:57,493
You silly little piggy.

281
00:12:57,495 --> 00:12:59,628
What's the latest gossip
in town about my kidnapping?

282
00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:01,497
Has a search party
been sent out?

283
00:13:01,499 --> 00:13:03,165
Are the banks closed?

284
00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:04,667
Well, actually, there's
a real pleasantness in the air.

285
00:13:04,669 --> 00:13:08,554
Like some horrible lingering
fart just left the room.

286
00:13:08,556 --> 00:13:10,756
You know, at first
I was able to accept your abuse

287
00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:13,926
as a realistic detail in
a curated kidnapping experience,

288
00:13:13,928 --> 00:13:15,594
but-- you're just rude,

289
00:13:15,596 --> 00:13:17,896
and I've taken enough abuse
from you, and I want to go home!

290
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,015
Fine! You can go.

291
00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:21,850
I won't stop you.

292
00:13:21,852 --> 00:13:25,070
But I imagine the newspapers
will be very interested to know

293
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,690
that you hired me to kidnap you.

294
00:13:27,692 --> 00:13:29,441
Ugh, you're a monster!

295
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,498
Penis-size-wise,
you're correct.

296
00:13:37,835 --> 00:13:40,786
Your breath smells like broth.

297
00:13:40,788 --> 00:13:42,337
So you'll stay?

298
00:13:42,339 --> 00:13:45,708
I don't suppose I have
any other choice, do I?

299
00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:49,094
No. No choice.

300
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,679
No choice at all.

301
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,937
Life is not possible
without the working man.

302
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,222
Point for the Jew!

303
00:14:00,224 --> 00:14:01,774
Without the rich,

304
00:14:01,776 --> 00:14:04,143
the serving class would have
nothing to do but gamble,

305
00:14:04,145 --> 00:14:06,061
eat taffy, and drink gasoline!

306
00:14:06,063 --> 00:14:07,646
But the serving class suffers!

307
00:14:07,648 --> 00:14:09,865
As we should!

308
00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:10,899
Uhh-- they should!

309
00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:12,367
As they should!

310
00:14:12,369 --> 00:14:14,486
Just imag-- a thought.
A thought, everybody.

311
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:19,324
What would happen
if everybody had enough food?

312
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,577
Uh, we would all have
something to eat.

313
00:14:21,579 --> 00:14:23,996
No! Well, yes, probably.

314
00:14:23,998 --> 00:14:25,080
But then what?

315
00:14:25,082 --> 00:14:26,548
Laziness.

316
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:27,382
Sloth.

317
00:14:27,384 --> 00:14:29,384
Soon, nobody would do anything.

318
00:14:29,386 --> 00:14:31,920
There are always people
who have to do the jobs

319
00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:33,088
that nobody else wants to do.

320
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,757
If the Chinamen
had enough to eat,

321
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:36,759
he wouldn't want to string
the telegraph wires, would he?

322
00:14:36,761 --> 00:14:39,728
Look, I don't like Chinamen
either, but it's still not fair.

323
00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:42,314
We have such a thing
in this world as order.

324
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,399
The strong rule the weak.

325
00:14:44,401 --> 00:14:47,436
If there were only strong,
overpopulation ensues!

326
00:14:47,438 --> 00:14:49,571
Soon there will be one billion
people on this planet.

327
00:14:49,573 --> 00:14:52,241
Do you think our planet
can afford one billion people?

328
00:14:52,243 --> 00:14:53,692
Of course not! The planet

329
00:14:53,694 --> 00:14:56,328
itself will sink down into space
and explode.

330
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,746
I'm having a great time.

331
00:14:57,748 --> 00:14:59,031
I am The Commodore.

332
00:14:59,033 --> 00:15:00,282
- Hear, hear.
- Hear, hear.

333
00:15:00,284 --> 00:15:01,617
Well played.

334
00:15:03,437 --> 00:15:04,603
- Ah!
- Ah! Take me!

335
00:15:04,605 --> 00:15:07,556
All right.

336
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,141
I'll take you, I guess--

337
00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:11,010
Ah, yeah. Ah! Yeah--

338
00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:12,811
Oh, sorry.

339
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:13,979
Sorry. Is your hair okay?

340
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,514
- Take me!
- Okay, yeah, sure.

341
00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:17,316
- I'll-- I'll-- I'll take you--
- Give it to me!

342
00:15:17,318 --> 00:15:20,602
I'll take you.
Yeah, no, just one second here,

343
00:15:20,604 --> 00:15:22,821
and we are off to the races--

344
00:15:22,823 --> 00:15:25,190
- Give me it!
- One second, and-- one second.

345
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,743
- Uh-huh. Yes.
- Just one sec-- okay.

346
00:15:27,745 --> 00:15:30,029
Oh, no-- oh, oh, oh, oh!
Here we go.

347
00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:32,865
- Yeah-- No. There. One second.
- Ow.

348
00:15:38,456 --> 00:15:39,538
Oops!

349
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,923
I dropped my fork.

350
00:15:40,925 --> 00:15:42,758
Oh, no, that's okay, Garfield.

351
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,293
I'd like Chair to do it.

352
00:15:51,686 --> 00:15:54,636
You're going to regret this.

353
00:15:54,638 --> 00:15:57,056
Oops! I dropped my fork, too.

354
00:15:57,058 --> 00:15:59,558
Chair, stop making
me drop things!

355
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,226
Oh, I would like
an oyster, please.

356
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,227
Hmm.

357
00:16:07,952 --> 00:16:09,401
Actually, I changed my mind.

358
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,652
I don't want an oyster.

359
00:16:10,654 --> 00:16:12,037
Oh, I do.

360
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,405
Of course,
now that I'm thinking about it,

361
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,824
I would like an oyster.

362
00:16:15,826 --> 00:16:20,329
I feel like I
should have one first.

363
00:16:20,331 --> 00:16:21,830
Thank you.

364
00:16:21,832 --> 00:16:23,605
Will you feed it to me?

365
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:30,055
Thank you, Chair.

366
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,173
Oops!

367
00:16:31,175 --> 00:16:33,092
I dropped my fork again.

368
00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:40,099
Oh. Oh, whoops.

369
00:16:40,101 --> 00:16:43,936
I know I'm not supposed
to feed the animals.

370
00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:48,323
Oops!

371
00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:51,744
Meat Face! Meat Face!
Meat Face!

372
00:16:51,746 --> 00:16:55,197
They chose the wrong
bitch to throw meat at.

373
00:16:55,199 --> 00:16:56,665
This doesn't usually
happen to me--

374
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,917
No, no, I know.

375
00:16:58,919 --> 00:17:02,171
- Was it because of me?
- It wasn't because of you.

376
00:17:02,173 --> 00:17:07,376
I guess it kind of ruined things
when you said you were into it.

377
00:17:07,378 --> 00:17:09,428
Not that I didn't want
you to be into it, but--

378
00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:11,964
I just didn't want you to tell
me that you were into it.

379
00:17:11,966 --> 00:17:14,967
It ruins it for me.

380
00:17:14,969 --> 00:17:17,136
Next time I'll be sure
to cry and vomit.

381
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:23,142
- I'm gonna go--
- I-- I think you should go.

382
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:30,199
You were marvelous
this evening.

383
00:17:30,201 --> 00:17:32,284
That's why they
call you the Commodore.

384
00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:34,953
- I'm your butler--
- I must repay you

385
00:17:34,955 --> 00:17:37,790
for your brilliant
performance this evening.

386
00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:39,825
I'm going to blow your bellows.

387
00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:42,744
Oh, no, no, no. No, no,
I cannot allow such a thing.

388
00:17:42,746 --> 00:17:44,129
No, no. No.

389
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:47,082
Madam, I cannot allow
such a proposition.

390
00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:48,133
Unbutton!

391
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:52,254
That is an order!

392
00:17:52,256 --> 00:17:54,256
As you wish, Madam.

393
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,846
Ohh!

394
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,649
Blanche.

395
00:18:03,651 --> 00:18:05,350
Almost happy to see you.

396
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,735
Now, I had the worst day.

397
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,103
Get me a poultice, a dildo,

398
00:18:08,105 --> 00:18:09,855
and a soft French cheese.

399
00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:11,523
- Yes, my lady.
- Where's Beatrice?

400
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,775
She has oyster diarrhea,
my lady.

401
00:18:13,777 --> 00:18:15,110
What are you doing

402
00:18:15,112 --> 00:18:17,529
in that dress?
Take that off immediately!

403
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:20,032
Yes, my lady.

404
00:18:24,288 --> 00:18:26,922
Now, I'll be in my room,
waiting on that dildo.

405
00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:29,208
- Yes, my lady.
- Heat it up in the bath first.

406
00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:31,260
Yes, my lady.

407
00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:38,383
Hello, Blanche, have you seen
my new friend Bla--

408
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,052
Wait a minute.

409
00:18:40,054 --> 00:18:41,186
You're not Blanche the person.

410
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,688
You're Blanche the servant!

411
00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:44,556
Get out of my room!
I never want to see you again,

412
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:45,941
unless you're bringing
me breakfast,

413
00:18:45,943 --> 00:18:47,359
so I'll see you in the morning!

414
00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:50,062
Yes. What would you like
for breakfast?

415
00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:52,064
- Eggs Beatrice!
- Yes, my lady.

416
00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:54,449
I'm sorry, my lady.

417
00:18:57,071 --> 00:19:00,289
Oh! I like this dress!
Mmm.

418
00:19:00,291 --> 00:19:02,824
Oh, I knew the whole time.
I was just having fun.

419
00:19:08,463 --> 00:19:10,547
Peepers, I don't mean
to be a Nosy Parker,

420
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:13,550
but I must tell you
something quite shocking.

421
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,101
What is it, Chair?

422
00:19:15,103 --> 00:19:17,887
Blanche spent all of yesterday
in one of Beatrice's dresses,

423
00:19:17,889 --> 00:19:21,307
impersonating
an upper-class woman.

424
00:19:21,309 --> 00:19:23,143
Hmm.

425
00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:27,647
Well, I think we can let
this little impropriety slide.

426
00:19:27,649 --> 00:19:32,485
We all deserve a switcheroo
every now and again, eh, Chair?

427
00:19:32,487 --> 00:19:34,654
- But, sir--
- Ooh, speaking of butts, Chair,

428
00:19:34,656 --> 00:19:37,323
there is an oyster situation
in Beatrice's water closet

429
00:19:37,325 --> 00:19:40,043
that I need you
to attend to post haste. Go.

430
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:42,996
Muddy, muddy, scrubby, scrubby.

431
00:19:50,138 --> 00:19:52,222
I'll need you to skin
those potatoes.

432
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,674
Ask the cook. Not my job!

433
00:19:54,676 --> 00:19:56,976
Turns out I'm your boss.

434
00:19:56,978 --> 00:20:01,431
So it's your job now, piggy.

435
00:20:11,026 --> 00:20:13,743
Great.
Now you get hard!

436
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:26,873
Oh! Oh, ho, Peepers!

437
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:30,293
Oh, what happened last night?

438
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:33,930
I don't remember anything
after the toast.

439
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:38,551
Oh-- no, nothing.

440
00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:41,938
I'm never drinking
absinthe again.

441
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,273
That reminds me,

442
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:46,860
I have a pair of soiled
bloomers from last night

443
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,194
that need laundering.

444
00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:50,864
So you-- take care of that,
will you?

445
00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:54,234
Muddy, muddy, scrubby, scrubby.

446
00:20:54,236 --> 00:20:55,735
As you wish, Madam.

447
00:20:57,094 --> 00:20:59,750
Sync and corrections by n17t01
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