1 00:00:03,230 --> 00:00:06,070 We are engaged. 2 00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:06,600 [laughs] 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,000 Celery [bleep] savoy 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,700 Is the president of the clam bake club. 5 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:12,170 - Please. - Frederick, don't do this-- 6 00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:13,170 You're acting like a baby. 7 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,240 I can stay a baby forever. 8 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,540 I'm the great marquis de sainsbury, 9 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,380 The arbiter of who's who in newport society. 10 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:21,780 Oh, whoops. I know I'm not supposed to feed the animals. 11 00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,280 So, that's your scheme, huh? 12 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,350 Feeding your fish to the commodore? 13 00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:28,320 I'm gonna blackmail the shit out of her. 14 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,690 You are hereby stripped of all duties 15 00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:31,660 Befitting an under-butler. 16 00:00:31,660 --> 00:00:35,030 Please vacate the premises immediately. 17 00:00:35,630 --> 00:00:38,770 [upbeat music] 18 00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:40,170 ♪ ♪ 19 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,140 Brava. Brava. 20 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:43,470 Now, are we playing captain moreton eglington 21 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:45,710 Castle rules or do we just want to be wild women 22 00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,510 And play a little french pall mall? 23 00:00:47,510 --> 00:00:51,280 It's just a game, what does it matter, lillian? 24 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,510 Oh, fun fact: 25 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,180 Did you know that the pollacks 26 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,450 Actually desire to be enslaved? 27 00:00:56,450 --> 00:00:59,550 It's in their very blood. Isn't that a hoot? 28 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,490 Do you not know that I am direct descendant 29 00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:05,260 To the throne of poland? 30 00:01:05,260 --> 00:01:07,800 Oh, he's just kidding, lil. 31 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,730 [laughter] 32 00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:14,100 (celery) oh, I love to joke around. 33 00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,540 Remember when we were children? 34 00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:17,300 I made that joke where I told everyone 35 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,440 You threw a party on reject's beach? 36 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,670 You know, the beach where the poor 37 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,280 Go to clean their undergarments? 38 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,440 Scotch frog hats, 39 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,310 I would rather swim in a septic tank! 40 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,220 Well, I'm sure lillian doesn't remember. 41 00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,750 It was so very long ago. 42 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,850 Don't remember at all. 43 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,660 [screams] 44 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:37,620 Footman down! 45 00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:40,590 [music] 46 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:49,100 ♪ ♪ 47 00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,720 What the hell is that? 48 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:07,650 The--what? No, nothing. 49 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,620 It's nothing. I'm nothing. 50 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,260 You need to work on your self-esteem, you idiot. 51 00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:13,790 It looks like a letter to me. 52 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,900 I got a letter once. 53 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,260 From an old lover telling me 54 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,200 She contracted the sailor's virus. 55 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,270 - I hate letters. - Oh, please tell us. 56 00:02:21,270 --> 00:02:23,770 It's a letter from the triangle shirtwaist factory. 57 00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:26,310 They offered me a job interview for tomorrow. 58 00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,880 It's always been my dream to work in a factory. 59 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,480 To feel the steam on my face 60 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,310 And the hot crush of machinery against my finger pads. 61 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,280 [laughs] 62 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,620 Factory life! No, thanks. 63 00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:38,890 Well, I hope everyone's 64 00:02:38,890 --> 00:02:43,590 Happily lazing about savoring the delights of all meal. 65 00:02:43,590 --> 00:02:46,290 Thanks to your indolence, the urine buckets under the sink 66 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,900 Have become filled to the point of over slosh. 67 00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,360 Why hasn't this been taken care of? 68 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,600 I believe that was garfield's job, sir. 69 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,200 And you sacked him for stealing a towel, sir. 70 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,340 So, it wasn't indolence, sir. It was a staffing issue, sir. 71 00:02:58,340 --> 00:02:59,740 Call me sir one more time, 72 00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:01,240 I shall dock your gruel for a week. 73 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,880 What would you like me to call you? 74 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,780 Sir will do. Just pace it out. 75 00:03:05,780 --> 00:03:07,450 Hamish, you will empty the urine. 76 00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,350 Sorry, peeps, according to my contract, 77 00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:12,220 I don't touch piss, mops, or gypsies. 78 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:15,720 Oh, very well. I shall empty it myself. 79 00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:17,960 I'm so excited for you! 80 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,260 Factory life! 81 00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:20,560 [both laugh] 82 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:25,330 [laughs] 83 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,970 [rap music] 84 00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:33,610 (garfield) since I'm no longer welcome inside bellacourt manor, 85 00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:36,380 I've made my home outside. 86 00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:37,580 [sighs] 87 00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,580 Breaks my heart. 88 00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:42,450 [classical music] 89 00:03:42,450 --> 00:03:43,680 You know, at first this baby bea stuff 90 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:46,690 Was kind of funny, but now it's just weird. 91 00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:49,720 It's time to change tactics. 92 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,560 I need your help. 93 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,760 I'm not quite certain you know how blackmail works. 94 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,300 You pay me, I own you. 95 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,700 Yes, yes. Extremely frightening. 96 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,900 Where...Is my... 97 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,410 50 cents? 98 00:04:05,410 --> 00:04:07,940 How about $500? 99 00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:08,780 [scoffs] 100 00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,440 The hell are you talking about? 101 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,410 I know this guy in town. 102 00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:14,580 He used to buy the girls from the brothels. 103 00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,420 He always looks for a very 104 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:19,490 Vulnerable kind of girl. 105 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:21,890 Oh. I get it. 106 00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:24,960 You have turned into a complete psychopath. 107 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,590 What's the guy's address? I'll take her there. 108 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,830 - [gasps] - garfield! 109 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,630 What in the h.M.S. Pinafore are you doing here? 110 00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:34,470 Mr. Peepers, I-I had nowhere else to go. 111 00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:36,900 T-the orphanage said no 30-year-olds. 112 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:37,800 Well, I can't have you 113 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,340 Vagabonding about bellacourt manor. 114 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,440 Now, get out before I have you skinned 115 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,480 And turned into work gloves. 116 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,040 Oh, well I heard beatrice and hamish. 117 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,550 They're going to one main street. 118 00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:49,650 - Out! Out! - Oh, that's bellacourt urine! 119 00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:55,060 [knocks on door] 120 00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:56,920 (hamish) celine sent us. 121 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,760 You order a white heiress, right? 122 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,700 Hello, little girl. 123 00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:04,000 I'm mr. Thomas edison. 124 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,900 Are you going to do everything I ask you to do? 125 00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:08,940 Probably. 126 00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:13,470 She's perfect for my forbidden experiment. 127 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:13,940 Mmm. 128 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:17,980 Uh, I don't mean to interrupt whatever dastardly power game 129 00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:22,480 You have going on right now, but I have a 5:00 shabbat, so... 130 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,950 Ah. 131 00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,090 Thank you. 132 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:26,850 Shalom aleikhem. 133 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,620 Aleikhem shalom. 134 00:05:30,020 --> 00:05:33,390 So, convicted for treason by the knight's court 135 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,590 In the french town of larroquette, 136 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,460 I watched as my mentor, the marquis post's head 137 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,870 Rolled from the guillotine to my very feet, 138 00:05:38,870 --> 00:05:41,800 Thinking, "this has ruined a perfectly good opera." 139 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,940 Lillian, this afternoon was so pleasant. 140 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:47,910 We'd love to induct you as a fully vetted member 141 00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:50,510 Of newport's very own clam bake club. 142 00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:52,610 Are you familiar with our organization? 143 00:05:52,610 --> 00:05:55,580 Am I familiar with your organization? 144 00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:59,390 It's only the most prestigious mollusk-based social group 145 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:00,350 In all of north america. 146 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,690 We put those insufferable dunderpates 147 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,720 In the portsmouth scallop society to shame. 148 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:06,660 I would love to finger clams with you two. 149 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:10,600 Well, then, looking forward to it. 150 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,730 Doors. 151 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,940 [vocalizing] 152 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:19,470 [upbeat music] 153 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,380 ♪ I knew it all along ♪ 154 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,880 ♪ this is my destiny ♪ 155 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,580 ♪ I finally have it all ♪ 156 00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:30,080 ♪ and no one deserves it more than me ♪ 157 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,550 ♪ the bottom 1% of the top 1% ♪ 158 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:32,890 ♪ is the loneliest place for a girl ♪ 159 00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:35,690 ♪ but I'm the piece of sand who's gonna irritate the clam ♪ 160 00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:37,460 ♪ until I turn into a pearl ♪ 161 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,090 ♪ I was on the outside, now I'm not ♪ 162 00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:40,960 ♪ it's time to show newport what I've got ♪ 163 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,000 ♪ see this face? You're gonna see it a lot ♪ 164 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,170 ♪ it's exactly where I was meant to be ♪ 165 00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:48,800 ♪ I can finally say ♪ 166 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,140 ♪ "hi, society" ♪ 167 00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:54,610 ♪ the bottom 1% of the bottom 1% 168 00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:55,610 ♪ is just fine with me ♪ 169 00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:57,710 ♪ because I got a letter and my life will get much better ♪ 170 00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:59,680 - ♪ when I work at a factory ♪ - hey! 171 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,550 ♪ I thought it was hopeless I was wrong ♪ 172 00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:04,990 Get out of the way, blanche! This is my song! 173 00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:10,090 [vocalizing] 174 00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:14,900 Well, now I forgot what I was even singing about. 175 00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:18,670 [groans] you're all fired! 176 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,910 [rap music] 177 00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:30,280 Oh, I tell you, I feel like ten bucks. 178 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,350 It's as though getting off the morphine 179 00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:35,350 Has actually improved my health. 180 00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:36,980 Oh, mother, how long are you going to bring up 181 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:40,720 Your miraculous liberation from drug addiction? 182 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:41,890 Oh, darling. 183 00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:43,060 Champagne, really? 184 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:46,960 Are you sure you want to poison yourself so soon 185 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:47,990 Before the big clam bake? 186 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,300 (lillian) champagne is like mother's milk to me. 187 00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,130 If I had a mother who'd given me milk. 188 00:07:52,130 --> 00:07:54,130 Oh, darling, you wouldn't have wanted that. 189 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:59,010 My teats were full of opiate poison. 190 00:07:59,010 --> 00:07:59,840 I want to get out. 191 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,680 If I have wrinkly fingers at the clam bake, 192 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,910 People will think I have a wrinkly labia. 193 00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:05,410 That you have wrinkly labia. 194 00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:07,280 Plural. You have four. 195 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,920 Ugh. Don't remind me. 196 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,850 Frederick, today is the last day 197 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:15,320 Before you depart into the horrors of marriage. 198 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,990 Dodo has ordered me to throw frederick a bachelor party, 199 00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:20,830 And I do not consider him a friend, 200 00:08:20,830 --> 00:08:25,070 But legally he is family, so I must oblige. 201 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,830 And she pays my allowance. 202 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,000 - So, this is a bachelor party? - Yes, it is. 203 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,810 And this is a vagina. 204 00:08:32,810 --> 00:08:33,470 But in hat form. 205 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:37,210 I had a local taxidermist fashion it for me. 206 00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:39,450 Why would we wear genitalia as hats? 207 00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:40,680 - It feels warm. - Mm-hmm. 208 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:45,020 And every good bachelor party starts off with shots. 209 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:48,260 - Dr. Goldberg! - Both: Shots! Shots! Shots! 210 00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:50,920 Shots! Shots! Shots! 211 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,460 Shots! Shots! Shots! 212 00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:55,060 Who would like a syringe full first? 213 00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:56,800 The bachelor boy, of course. 214 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,200 Fellows, I don't know about this. 215 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,870 I've never taken a drug before. 216 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:02,770 (goldberg) this is not a drug. It's a poem in your mind. 217 00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:05,410 And then, if things turn bad, a poem in your sphincter. 218 00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:07,470 But I'm afraid of needles. 219 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,910 That's okay. 220 00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:10,440 [imitates airplane engine] 221 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,710 It's the wright brothers experimental 222 00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:14,920 Lighter-than-air flying machine! 223 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,150 Ahh! 224 00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:18,850 [airplane noises] 225 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:22,960 [both scream] 226 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:28,130 [both laugh] 227 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,260 Oh, thank you. 228 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,100 Yes, I know, I-- 229 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,370 I do consider myself assembly line material. 230 00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:39,040 Oh, gosh, well, I would say that my greatest strength 231 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,510 Is that I have an ability to pull an apple cart 232 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:43,780 All by myself. 233 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:46,350 And my greatest weakness-- 234 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,050 Well, if I had to think of a greatest weakness, 235 00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:51,820 It would be... 236 00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:54,820 That I have to go to the bathroom every 14 hours. 237 00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:58,090 And other than that, nothing. 238 00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:00,960 Nothing. 239 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,460 Ooh, do a little turn. 240 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,170 Do a little turn. That's right. 241 00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:08,130 Show daddy how pretty your dress is. 242 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:11,270 [1920s music] 243 00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:16,980 ♪ ♪ 244 00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:19,950 [music] 245 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:28,250 ♪ ♪ 246 00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,570 [rap music] 247 00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:39,330 ♪ ♪ 248 00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:42,070 Not only do I get invited to the clam bake club, 249 00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:45,440 But I get to ride in celery savoy's bathing machine. 250 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,210 Just when I thought I couldn't have another greatest day 251 00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,310 Of my life, here I am. 252 00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:51,380 Celery, is there anything I need to know 253 00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:52,450 For the initiation ceremony? 254 00:10:52,450 --> 00:10:54,550 No, you do a bathing rite in the ocean 255 00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:56,550 And then we all stuff ourselves with clams. 256 00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:59,390 Yum, and then we sing the legend of the clam, 257 00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:02,060 Which is our society's official theme song. 258 00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:03,020 Oh, I know it already. 259 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,260 ♪ from the depths of the sand ♪ 260 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,590 ♪ to the silt of the sea ♪ 261 00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:06,960 ♪ high tide, low tide ♪ 262 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:07,960 ♪ barnacles and cla-- ♪ 263 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,860 Save your voice, lillian. We all sing it together. 264 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,230 Also, it's in c-sharp minor. 265 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,370 [gasps] we're here. 266 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,570 Lillian, why don't you go first? 267 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,180 [screams] 268 00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:26,010 Oh, my dear. 269 00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:28,050 I'm afraid all the spaces on this side of 270 00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:29,420 The beach have been taken. 271 00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:31,250 This beach is for members only. 272 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,350 - Go that way. - That's right. 273 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,260 You're on rejects beach, lillian. 274 00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:38,990 Where you belong. 275 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,530 [distorted] poor people! 276 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:44,900 [distorted] hot dog? 277 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:48,170 Hot dog! 278 00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:51,270 [rock music] 279 00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:55,910 ♪ ♪ 280 00:11:55,910 --> 00:12:00,310 [distorted laughter] 281 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,990 [crying] 282 00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:14,190 (woman) ♪ alone ♪ 283 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:14,930 No! 284 00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:19,900 (woman) ♪ I'm all alone ♪ 285 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:22,240 ♪ alone ♪ 286 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,110 ♪ all by myself ♪ 287 00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:28,610 ♪ I'm alone ♪ 288 00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:32,080 I can't believe it's finally happening. 289 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,350 I can't wait to lay my head on a pillow 290 00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:36,350 Stuffed with damp hay. 291 00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:38,220 You deserve it, blanche. 292 00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:41,690 I'll never forget how you treated me here. 293 00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:44,190 I misjudged you, chair. 294 00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:46,290 I feel terrible about the way I treated you 295 00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,930 The other day with beatrice. 296 00:12:47,930 --> 00:12:49,260 What do you mean? 297 00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,530 I barked orders at you, 298 00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:53,070 I treated you as if you were an underling 299 00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:56,070 Instead of a friend. 300 00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:59,270 And also I dropped prime rib on your head. 301 00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:00,470 Oh, that. It's all right. 302 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,610 What's a little beef-related assault between coworkers? 303 00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:07,680 Oop, friends. 304 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:08,580 [sighs] 305 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,520 Oh, would you do one thing 306 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:11,990 Before you leave? 307 00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:12,620 Anything. 308 00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:16,390 Would you fetch the rendered beef fat from the meat locker? 309 00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:17,260 Hortense wants a snack 310 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:18,360 And my hands get so cold in there. 311 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:20,460 You must toughen up those mitts. 312 00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:22,660 What are you going to do without me when I'm gone? 313 00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:25,470 You'll never get through the winter grave shoveling. 314 00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:26,270 I would be happy to. 315 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:30,200 It will be my last chore here at bellacourt. 316 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,410 Oh. 317 00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:39,580 Oh, my. It's locked. 318 00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:41,410 Could you open the door? 319 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,980 Chair! Please! 320 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,690 I have my job interview! 321 00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:48,720 - Tell it to the beef. - No! 322 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,160 Did you hear that? I said, "tell it to the beef." 323 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:56,100 No. No. No! No! Please! 324 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:59,430 Let me out! 325 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,210 [dramatic music] 326 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:14,510 ♪ ♪ 327 00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:21,490 [groans] 328 00:14:21,490 --> 00:14:24,160 Garfield! What are you doing kissing me? 329 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,960 [coughs] you're fired. 330 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,490 I've already been fired, madam. 331 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,300 Oh, what a nightmare. They all laughed at me. 332 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,530 They wanted me to eat a hot dog. 333 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,630 Oh, yuck. 334 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,470 Celery doesn't want to be my sister at all, does she? 335 00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:39,340 No, madam, 336 00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,470 But you already have a sister, 337 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,440 A great one. 338 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,480 And she's in trouble. 339 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,280 And I can take you to her. 340 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,050 Oh, no, thank you. 341 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:50,020 I'm still reeling from my beach humiliation. 342 00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:51,280 Oh, all right. 343 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,590 Well, just to clarify, 344 00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:55,090 Your sister's in quite a bit of trouble. 345 00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:58,120 Apparently beatrice has been sold into white slavery 346 00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:01,160 And what's worse, she's acting! 347 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,300 [upbeat music] 348 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,230 ♪ ♪ 349 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:11,070 Oh, no, no, no. 350 00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:16,340 Albert. Why won't you wake up? 351 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,410 ♪ ♪ 352 00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:20,010 Bea is my sister. 353 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:20,780 Bea is my sister. 354 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:24,420 - Bea is my sister. - Doctor goldberg. 355 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,620 ♪ ♪ 356 00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:30,620 Am I a demon? Am I a demon? 357 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,690 [screams] 358 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:39,130 ♪ ♪ 359 00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:43,040 I don't think I want to be married. 360 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:49,140 ♪ ♪ 361 00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:50,610 - Beatrice! - Get out! 362 00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:52,750 This is a closed set! 363 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:55,110 As soon as I saw that huge metal penis by my mouth, 364 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,180 All I could think about was my twin brother frederick 365 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,290 And I suddenly remembered who I was. 366 00:15:59,290 --> 00:16:00,720 Falling charlie, what are you doing here? 367 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,790 - Trying to break into film. - Silence, chaplin. 368 00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:05,530 Beatrice, let's go. We're here to rescue you. 369 00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:09,260 Baby bea, you're not going anywhere. 370 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,260 - I own you. - [growls] 371 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,700 Ow! 372 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,800 There's no place like my house! 373 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,070 Some of the things I did were pretty embarrassing, 374 00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,070 But luckily, nobody saw it except for me, 375 00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,410 The director, the cameraman, the two actors, 376 00:16:21,410 --> 00:16:23,710 And the noisy box with the glass eye. 377 00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:26,550 Kind of looks like that one. 378 00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:27,680 [blanche screaming] 379 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,280 She's been screaming like that for a while. 380 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,750 I'm really worried about her. 381 00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,120 She insists that she had a job interview 382 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:33,850 In the meat locker. 383 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:37,120 Spirit of vishnu save us. This house is crumbling. 384 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,660 Stand aside, chair. Blanche. 385 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:42,130 Blanche, I'm opening the door. 386 00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:43,460 Get out of there. 387 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,630 You'll freeze to death, you fool. 388 00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,870 - [screams] - oh, you poor thing. 389 00:16:46,870 --> 00:16:48,800 I think all that time in the meat locker's 390 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,270 Frozen her corneas. 391 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,800 She did it. 392 00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,110 She did this. 393 00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:55,340 Blanche, it's chair. 394 00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:57,240 Your friend. 395 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,750 I'll handle this, chair. 396 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:02,180 I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I have an I-I-I-I-interview. 397 00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:06,320 I was supposed to work in a f-f-f-f-f--a factory. 398 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,220 I have a letter. 399 00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:15,360 All right, all right. 400 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,300 I have a letter. 401 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,770 My god, this is serious. 402 00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:24,570 "peepers = farts." 403 00:17:24,570 --> 00:17:25,810 [whimpers] 404 00:17:25,810 --> 00:17:26,810 I'm not amused, blanche. 405 00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:31,340 No. I had a job interview today. 406 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:34,280 3:00 p.M. 419 maplewood drive. 407 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,420 - 419 maplewood drive?! - Yes. 408 00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,620 Well, then we must go. I can take you there. 409 00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,490 If we leave now, we still may make it. 410 00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:41,790 Hurry, blanche. Hurry. 411 00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:44,490 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 412 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,390 [whimpering] 413 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,660 Oh, no, please. 414 00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:51,160 Please, please, please. 415 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,730 No. 416 00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,780 [upbeat music] 417 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,820 Hurry, garfield. I don't want to miss the wedding. 418 00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,880 Well, I've been carrying you for miles. 419 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:14,190 It would be much faster if we all walked. 420 00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:17,090 Yes, and it would be even faster if we flew. 421 00:18:17,090 --> 00:18:20,990 Let's talk actual solutions. 422 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,730 What do we have here? It's a couple of whores. 423 00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:25,360 - [gasps] 424 00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:26,430 My eyes don't have a fraction 425 00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:28,030 Of the sadness required to be whore's eyes. 426 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,300 Aye, and look at this fella with the short shorts 427 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,240 And the towel hanging from his pocket. 428 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:32,910 [both laugh] 429 00:18:32,910 --> 00:18:34,140 Let's throw 'em in the big house. 430 00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:35,440 - All right. - Ooh, yes. The big house. 431 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,140 That's where we live. Please take us home. 432 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,740 - They mean jail. - [gasps] 433 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:41,710 I'm not going to jail. I'm rich. 434 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,820 Might be one way out of it. 435 00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:45,280 How skilled are ya at mouth jobs? 436 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,890 - [gasps] - I'll do it. 437 00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:50,120 - Beatrice, no! - I'm already down here. 438 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,060 - No. - Oh, another disappointment. 439 00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:55,960 Officer o'connolly, officer o'connor, 440 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,000 Cease harassing these prostitutes post haste. 441 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,330 What do you care about a few street whores? 442 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,200 We're not whores. We're bellacourts. 443 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,840 My god, it is you. Well, don't be ashamed. 444 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,840 The nags don't judge. 445 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,180 Regardless of race, size, or class, 446 00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:15,280 We love all women. 447 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,280 Every single woman, all the prostitute women, 448 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:20,850 All our mother women, all our aunts, 449 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,120 Our female cousins, the females with dogs 450 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,790 And the females with cats, too. 451 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:30,200 Hey! Those stupid bitches are stealing our rickshaw! 452 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,000 Bye. 453 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,170 - Please, help us. - [laughs] 454 00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,170 Oh, you barren, childless wretches. 455 00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:37,940 No, we police don't help people anymore. 456 00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:42,510 We just get mouth jobs and beat up the blacks. 457 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,950 Commodore, I'm so pleased you could make it 458 00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:47,810 In time for the wedding. 459 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:51,380 - Where are my daughters? - I'm right here, papa. 460 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:52,550 I'm also one of your daughters. 461 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:56,120 Oh, I don't think of you as one of my daughters, 462 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:59,090 I think of you as a son that can't earn money 463 00:19:59,090 --> 00:19:59,990 Or give me heirs. 464 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,200 Commie, I don't know how to tell you this, 465 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,500 But lillian and beatrice have gone missing. 466 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,300 They may not be at the wedding. 467 00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:09,370 This is truly great news. 468 00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:11,970 Without those two cocaine sponges here 469 00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:12,870 To bungle everything, 470 00:20:12,870 --> 00:20:15,580 This should go off like a well-oiled bear trap. 471 00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,010 Right, boy? 472 00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:17,880 Yes, papa. 473 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,350 [laughs] good lad. 474 00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:23,550 [dramatic music] 475 00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:26,090 Where did I put my-- 476 00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,450 So, you don't say hello anymore? 477 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,820 Christ, celine. How did you get in here? 478 00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:31,620 Did anyone see you? 479 00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:34,030 Is that how you talk to me now? 480 00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:35,260 I'm sorry. 481 00:20:35,260 --> 00:20:37,000 I don't know what I was thinking. 482 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:41,230 Punish me like the rabid cur I am--oh! 483 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,240 Shut up. 484 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,570 Again. 485 00:20:43,570 --> 00:20:46,240 Oh! Again. Again. 486 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,180 The next one you'll have to earn. 487 00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:50,610 What do you want? 488 00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:53,350 I want your balls in a bag that I wear around my hip. 489 00:20:53,350 --> 00:20:57,620 Barring that, I want the house. 490 00:21:06,060 --> 00:21:07,190 [speaking spanish] 491 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,060 [screams] 492 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,600 [all speaking spanish]