1 00:00:01,583 --> 00:00:03,422 You're turning 43. 2 00:00:05,117 --> 00:00:08,370 If you don't mind, I'm trying to appear vulnerable 3 00:00:08,370 --> 00:00:12,784 to facilitate my snorkeling up your thigh bone later. 4 00:00:12,784 --> 00:00:15,677 Alan, you boyfriend, 5 00:00:15,677 --> 00:00:17,290 me girlfriend. 6 00:00:17,290 --> 00:00:18,904 You have a season's pass. 7 00:00:18,904 --> 00:00:21,152 You're ruining the conquest part, 8 00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:23,707 which is all it's really about for me. 9 00:00:23,707 --> 00:00:25,283 Really? 10 00:00:25,678 --> 00:00:27,711 Well, how about a little play acting, then? 11 00:00:27,711 --> 00:00:31,290 Only if this time, I get to be the sheep. 12 00:00:32,392 --> 00:00:33,822 I'm gonna sit over there 13 00:00:33,822 --> 00:00:35,430 and pretend to be alone. 14 00:00:35,671 --> 00:00:37,689 And you're gonna approach me, being the stranger that you are, 15 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:38,996 and conquest me. 16 00:00:38,996 --> 00:00:39,936 Don't be silly. 17 00:00:39,936 --> 00:00:44,142 No, I'd like to see how you operate, Mr. Shore. 18 00:01:02,144 --> 00:01:03,400 How are you doing? 19 00:01:03,884 --> 00:01:05,241 Fine, thank you. 20 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,310 I'm Joe. 21 00:01:07,655 --> 00:01:09,112 I'm with somebody. 22 00:01:09,953 --> 00:01:11,042 Who? 23 00:01:11,042 --> 00:01:13,348 Hello, I'm a complete stranger. 24 00:01:13,348 --> 00:01:15,324 And I'm here to pick you up. 25 00:01:17,562 --> 00:01:20,010 Oh, I see. There's two of us. 26 00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:21,792 I'll be evens, you be odds. 27 00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:23,302 You got a problem? 28 00:01:23,845 --> 00:01:25,054 No, actually. 29 00:01:25,054 --> 00:01:28,874 I just saw this fair maiden here talking to a tree trunk, 30 00:01:28,874 --> 00:01:32,417 and since I'm an arborist, I thought I could help translate. 31 00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:34,219 Here's a health tip. 32 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,695 - Walk away. - Why would I do that? 33 00:01:36,695 --> 00:01:37,890 All right, guys. 34 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:41,105 Don't be deceived by my cushy appearance. 35 00:01:41,105 --> 00:01:42,436 Excuse me. 36 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,567 - I actually am with him. - I don't care. 37 00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:47,309 Walk away, or I lay you out. 38 00:01:47,309 --> 00:01:51,692 I don't mean to be a stickler, but isn't the object to lay her out? 39 00:01:51,692 --> 00:01:52,553 Hey! 40 00:01:52,553 --> 00:01:56,497 Oh, gee, I'm sorry, I was reaching for my wallet. 41 00:01:57,096 --> 00:01:58,504 I see. 42 00:01:58,504 --> 00:02:00,942 Allow me to reach for mine. 43 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,197 Are you all right? 44 00:02:05,197 --> 00:02:06,267 Fine. 45 00:02:06,678 --> 00:02:08,325 Hello, big people. 46 00:02:08,325 --> 00:02:11,730 Sorry to intrude, but you seem rather strapping. 47 00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:12,941 Here's $300. 48 00:02:12,941 --> 00:02:16,739 Would you be so kind as to go hit that man down there? 49 00:02:18,702 --> 00:02:20,283 Really? / Alan. 50 00:02:20,283 --> 00:02:23,169 There's an extra $100 if he goes down. 51 00:02:24,506 --> 00:02:25,750 You're on. 52 00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:28,894 - Make it a good one. - Oh, for god's sakes. 53 00:02:41,925 --> 00:02:44,488 Here's $100, go help your friend. 54 00:02:50,787 --> 00:02:52,554 Gee, it seems Joe has buddies. 55 00:02:52,554 --> 00:02:53,407 One for you, 56 00:02:53,689 --> 00:02:55,367 one for you, 57 00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,932 I got plenty of them. 58 00:02:58,551 --> 00:02:59,760 Hit them hard now. 59 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,646 For you and for you. 60 00:03:17,721 --> 00:03:20,878 Boston Legal 1x14. Till We Meet Again 61 00:03:45,089 --> 00:03:46,627 ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON ABC: 2005/02/13 62 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:50,347 You don't think the evening was slightly symptomatic of something? 63 00:03:50,347 --> 00:03:53,151 You take me to a college frat bar, and you start a fight. 64 00:03:53,151 --> 00:03:54,073 I did not start it. 65 00:03:54,073 --> 00:03:57,075 - You certainly did start it. - Alan, wonderful news. 66 00:03:57,075 --> 00:03:59,026 The Kerwin deposition has been cancelled. 67 00:03:59,026 --> 00:04:00,095 You don't have to go. 68 00:04:00,095 --> 00:04:01,458 Your morning is now free, 69 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,177 which works out because it seems these 70 00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,723 two police officers are here to arrest you. 71 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,287 Are you Alan Shore? 72 00:04:07,566 --> 00:04:09,670 My, aren't you clever? 73 00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:12,250 I bet you make detective one day. 74 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:15,107 Was my calling him Alan a clue? 75 00:04:15,485 --> 00:04:17,815 Please place your hands behind your back. 76 00:04:17,815 --> 00:04:18,676 Why? 77 00:04:18,676 --> 00:04:20,487 Sir, please. You're under arrest 78 00:04:20,487 --> 00:04:22,853 for conspiracy to commit assault and battery. 79 00:04:22,853 --> 00:04:24,224 You have the right to remain silent. 80 00:04:24,224 --> 00:04:25,828 You have it all memorized. 81 00:04:25,828 --> 00:04:28,450 Aren't you, the spiffy jiffy? 82 00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:30,496 And a sharp dresser. 83 00:04:31,368 --> 00:04:32,787 You have the right to an attorney. 84 00:04:32,787 --> 00:04:34,716 If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you... 85 00:04:34,716 --> 00:04:35,843 Not to worry, dear. 86 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,136 I'll cancel the rest of your day. 87 00:04:44,142 --> 00:04:46,477 And in an unprecedented, if not bizarre move, 88 00:04:46,477 --> 00:04:50,052 the selectmen of Summersport, Massachusetts, a small south shore town, 89 00:04:50,052 --> 00:04:55,356 population 18,000, voted six to two yesterday to ban red meat. 90 00:04:55,356 --> 00:05:00,690 As of midnight, it is now illegal to serve or sell beef within the township. 91 00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:04,846 Mayor George Bostwick calling the law a health and safety regulation. 92 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,905 God, health and safety. 93 00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:09,399 Did they not call a town meeting to discuss this? 94 00:05:09,399 --> 00:05:12,226 Well, they did. And nobody really took it that seriously. 95 00:05:12,226 --> 00:05:14,314 But the mayor controls the selectmen, 96 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,713 and this is exactly the publicity he's hoping to buy. 97 00:05:17,935 --> 00:05:20,249 In the meantime, my steak house is out of business. 98 00:05:20,249 --> 00:05:22,123 How can you ban red meat? 99 00:05:22,123 --> 00:05:24,136 Well, they got a whole campaign they're gonna go with it. 100 00:05:24,136 --> 00:05:27,264 They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world. 101 00:05:27,264 --> 00:05:29,076 We're carnivores. 102 00:05:29,076 --> 00:05:30,273 When the pilgrims landed, 103 00:05:30,273 --> 00:05:32,965 the first thing they did was eat a few indians. 104 00:05:34,191 --> 00:05:35,307 Is there anything we can do? 105 00:05:35,307 --> 00:05:36,653 We'll get an immediate T.R.O. 106 00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:39,018 I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. 107 00:05:39,018 --> 00:05:42,480 That cannot pass constitutional mustard. 108 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,271 The word is muster, Denny, but you're right. 109 00:05:45,271 --> 00:05:46,933 The law lacks condiments. 110 00:05:46,933 --> 00:05:49,822 Let's mark up a motion and get going, and let's do it in Suffolk. 111 00:05:49,822 --> 00:05:52,397 We should contact the owners of the other affected restaurants, 112 00:05:52,397 --> 00:05:53,849 and have them join us. 113 00:05:56,492 --> 00:06:00,553 32744, commonwealth vs. Alan Shore, 114 00:06:00,553 --> 00:06:02,800 conspiracy to commit battery. 115 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,296 Tara Wilson for the defendant, your honor. 116 00:06:04,296 --> 00:06:06,812 We'll waive reading. I shouldn't think there'll be any question of bail. 117 00:06:06,812 --> 00:06:07,920 What have we got here? 118 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,337 He paid some guys in a bar to assault another guy. 119 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,252 Judge, the guy insulted my honor. 120 00:06:12,252 --> 00:06:15,258 I was required by the canons of bar room conduct to respond. 121 00:06:15,258 --> 00:06:18,006 This being America, I simply enlisted unsuspecting warriors 122 00:06:18,006 --> 00:06:20,413 who had no idea what I was getting them into. 123 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:21,861 Was anybody hurt? 124 00:06:21,861 --> 00:06:24,181 Cuts and bruises. There was some damage to the bar. 125 00:06:24,181 --> 00:06:26,286 My suggestion is we admit to sufficient facts 126 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,083 so you'll continue it without a finding. 127 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,409 My client makes full restitution to the bar. 128 00:06:30,409 --> 00:06:31,681 That's not gonna fly. 129 00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:34,042 It was self-defense. Mr. Shore was hit. 130 00:06:34,042 --> 00:06:36,796 The fact that he hired others to do the hitting back doesn't preclude... 131 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:40,001 You want a not guilty, counsel, you need a trial. 132 00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:41,765 We could do it today. 133 00:06:41,999 --> 00:06:43,847 You're ready to proceed now? 134 00:06:43,847 --> 00:06:45,786 I'll stipulate to all the facts in the police report, 135 00:06:45,786 --> 00:06:48,718 though I must take issue with some of the spelling. 136 00:06:50,128 --> 00:06:52,591 If he stips to the facts, I could be ready tomorrow. 137 00:06:52,591 --> 00:06:56,549 Jury trial, of course. I can provide the court with a list of my closest peers. 138 00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,417 I leave for Aspen on Wednesday. 139 00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:02,478 So we will complete this in one day. 10:00 tomorrow. 140 00:07:02,478 --> 00:07:05,519 The defendant is released on personal recognizance. 141 00:07:05,519 --> 00:07:07,376 Mr. Shore... 142 00:07:08,458 --> 00:07:13,537 it would be a big mistake to come in here thinking this is funny. 143 00:07:17,015 --> 00:07:18,804 You mean it's not funny? 144 00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:26,134 You cannot just ban red meat. 145 00:07:26,134 --> 00:07:28,727 Any municipality can pass reasonable health regulations. 146 00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:30,878 Ah, yes, let's just pause on that word "reasonable." 147 00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:32,948 Many towns are dry, forbidding the sale of alcohol. 148 00:07:32,948 --> 00:07:35,134 There is an enormous difference between the sale... 149 00:07:35,134 --> 00:07:37,417 Hold on one second, Ms. Schmidt. 150 00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:39,875 In my courtroom, we allow counsel to finish their thoughts. 151 00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:42,168 - We do not... - if I could interrupt. 152 00:07:42,168 --> 00:07:45,152 The author of this particular and preposterous legislation 153 00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:48,388 happens to be both politically ambitious and a glutton for publicity, 154 00:07:48,388 --> 00:07:51,558 which this new law, funny thing, happens to be generating. 155 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,974 Red meat poses legitimate health concerns. 156 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,810 So do overzealous elected officials. We don't just ban them. 157 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,779 - If only we could. - Now, I shall do the interrupting. 158 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:02,951 If nothing else, I pride myself on being a conscientious fact finder. 159 00:08:02,951 --> 00:08:04,931 Oh, brother. 160 00:08:05,829 --> 00:08:07,806 Mr. Crane, did you say something? 161 00:08:07,806 --> 00:08:11,469 It's a stupid law. Overturn it. Be a man. 162 00:08:13,488 --> 00:08:17,263 Mr. Crane was trying to be helpful. Apparently, he did not succeed. 163 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,661 What is the reason, specifically, 164 00:08:18,661 --> 00:08:20,791 for your client banning the sale of red meat? 165 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:24,639 Bovine spongiform encephalopathy. 166 00:08:26,858 --> 00:08:28,138 Mad cow disease. 167 00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:30,369 - We're fearful of an outbreak. - In Summersport? 168 00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:32,496 - Everywhere. - That's ridiculous. 169 00:08:32,496 --> 00:08:34,785 Very well, we shall hold an evidentiary hearing. 170 00:08:34,785 --> 00:08:36,746 First person I shall hear from is the mayor. 171 00:08:36,746 --> 00:08:38,845 Then, Ms. Schmidt, if you so desire, 172 00:08:38,845 --> 00:08:40,371 I shall listen to your client. 173 00:08:40,371 --> 00:08:42,122 Until then, we are adjourned. 174 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,912 Put on a dress. 175 00:08:45,045 --> 00:08:46,600 2:00. 176 00:08:51,133 --> 00:08:52,905 What are you doing? 177 00:08:52,905 --> 00:08:55,260 I know this judge. I know where his buttons are. 178 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:56,792 Research shows, Denny, 179 00:08:56,792 --> 00:09:00,366 it's not wise to antagonize the people whose favor you're trying to court. 180 00:09:00,366 --> 00:09:01,861 Oh, come on, Shirley. 181 00:09:01,861 --> 00:09:03,229 You still antagonize me, 182 00:09:03,229 --> 00:09:06,817 and we both know what's really going on, don't we? 183 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,595 You sweet man. 184 00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:15,860 It's been a long time since you hit my button. 185 00:09:16,594 --> 00:09:19,931 I doubt you'd even know where to find it. 186 00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:23,390 Just a matter of time, Shirley. 187 00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:25,526 Just a matter of time. 188 00:09:28,011 --> 00:09:30,852 This doesn't involve you, man, it's sexual. 189 00:09:31,253 --> 00:09:33,489 I thought you said the judge would strike the law down. 190 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,437 I just got a little tougher, Dominick. 191 00:09:35,437 --> 00:09:37,852 They played the mad cow card. 192 00:09:47,884 --> 00:09:51,320 Sometimes a mayor has to do what's right even if it isn't popular. 193 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,811 Red meat presents risks 194 00:09:52,811 --> 00:09:57,444 which I, as the guardian of my constituency, am unwilling to assume. 195 00:09:57,686 --> 00:09:59,777 Legislation is capricious on its face. 196 00:09:59,777 --> 00:10:01,826 That'll be our only comment at this time. 197 00:10:01,826 --> 00:10:03,422 Pop goes the weasel. 198 00:10:03,422 --> 00:10:04,790 All right, Denny Crane. 199 00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:07,001 Still cuckoo for cuckoo puffs. 200 00:10:07,213 --> 00:10:08,247 Who's your daddy? 201 00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:09,297 Denny Crane. 202 00:10:09,297 --> 00:10:11,009 Pop goes the weasel. 203 00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:15,776 Simply put, I don't think we can guarantee the safety of beef. 204 00:10:15,776 --> 00:10:16,722 Why not? 205 00:10:16,722 --> 00:10:19,246 For starters, we just lifted the ban on Canadian cattle, 206 00:10:19,246 --> 00:10:23,847 where mad cow disease was just found again. 207 00:10:24,071 --> 00:10:26,746 The percentage of mad cow in Canada is statistically... 208 00:10:26,746 --> 00:10:28,472 But why take chances? 209 00:10:28,472 --> 00:10:30,007 Consider this disease. 210 00:10:30,007 --> 00:10:32,280 it's incurable, it rots the brain, 211 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,372 it's invariably fatal, and it's a painful death. 212 00:10:35,372 --> 00:10:39,669 But our government has assured us there's absolutely no danger in this. 213 00:10:39,669 --> 00:10:42,111 Our government is pro-beef. Are you kidding? 214 00:10:42,111 --> 00:10:48,486 In the last five years, the agriculture business has donated $140 million 215 00:10:48,486 --> 00:10:51,256 to congressional and presidential candidates. 216 00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:54,390 Fast-food chains, the cattlemen's beef association, you name it, 217 00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:55,786 they've all given big bucks. 218 00:10:55,786 --> 00:10:57,947 But the department of agriculture says... 219 00:10:57,947 --> 00:11:01,025 Oh, please, the USDA's in the meat industry's back pocket. 220 00:11:01,025 --> 00:11:02,730 What evidence do you have of that? 221 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,862 You want evidence? 222 00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:06,227 How about the last secretary of agriculture 223 00:11:06,227 --> 00:11:10,645 appointed meat industry advocates to top jobs at the USDA? 224 00:11:10,645 --> 00:11:14,322 How about the secretary's former chief of staff used to be 225 00:11:14,322 --> 00:11:19,305 the chief lobbyist for the national cattlemen's beef association? 226 00:11:19,305 --> 00:11:21,066 The USDA has been bought. 227 00:11:21,066 --> 00:11:23,074 Pretty strong words, Mr. Bostwick. 228 00:11:23,074 --> 00:11:25,825 - Oprah got sued for saying less. - Well, what does that tell you? 229 00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:27,862 The meat industry gets to sue a talk show host 230 00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:29,136 for putting down a hamburger? 231 00:11:29,136 --> 00:11:31,308 Free speech doesn't apply when it comes to beef? 232 00:11:31,308 --> 00:11:35,004 Well, certainly, the USDA has an interest in making meat safe? 233 00:11:35,004 --> 00:11:36,907 But they have a double mandate, your honor. 234 00:11:36,907 --> 00:11:39,356 And while one may be to keep beef safe, 235 00:11:39,356 --> 00:11:40,928 the other, the bigger one... 236 00:11:40,928 --> 00:11:43,402 is to promote the sale of American meat. 237 00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:47,660 You think there's a real interest in this country in rooting out mad cow disease? 238 00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:48,753 It's "don't ask, don't tell." 239 00:11:48,753 --> 00:11:53,051 Objection! / This past April, a cow stumbled and fell in Texas. 240 00:11:53,051 --> 00:11:56,141 The vets suspected a central nervous system disorder. 241 00:11:56,141 --> 00:11:58,053 That animal should have been tested. 242 00:11:58,053 --> 00:12:00,760 It wasn't.It was quickly slaughtered and put into pig feed. 243 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:04,703 Why? Because god forbid we discover mad cow disease. 244 00:12:04,703 --> 00:12:07,268 It would cost billions and billions of dollars. 245 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,040 I'm not gonna wait. 246 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,652 If that gets me sued, so be it. 247 00:12:17,077 --> 00:12:19,048 How many people in this country have been afflicted 248 00:12:19,048 --> 00:12:21,419 with the human strain of mad cow disease? 249 00:12:21,419 --> 00:12:23,917 I don't plan to... / To wait, yes. How many? 250 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,576 - We don't know. - There have been no confirmed cases. 251 00:12:26,576 --> 00:12:27,732 According to some scientists, 252 00:12:27,732 --> 00:12:31,781 many people we think have Alzheimer's could, in fact, be sick from mad cow. 253 00:12:31,781 --> 00:12:33,691 Are you a scientist, sir? / No. 254 00:12:33,691 --> 00:12:36,242 Before you became mayor, what was your occupation? 255 00:12:36,242 --> 00:12:37,532 I owned auto dealerships. 256 00:12:37,532 --> 00:12:39,528 You were a car salesman. 257 00:12:39,528 --> 00:12:43,824 Given that three million people are killed or injured on our roads every year, 258 00:12:43,824 --> 00:12:45,857 do you also plan to ban automobiles? 259 00:12:45,857 --> 00:12:48,022 No. / What about salmonella? 260 00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:49,461 Any plans to criminalize chickens? 261 00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:52,995 - People don't die from chickens or... - What about mercury in fish? 262 00:12:52,995 --> 00:12:54,571 It's a concern. 263 00:12:54,571 --> 00:12:56,890 But, again, I made a judgment as mayor, 264 00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:59,660 and the selectmen concurred that the dangers of beef... 265 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:02,323 Have you any personal political ambitions 266 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,974 beyond that of being mayor of Summersport? 267 00:13:04,974 --> 00:13:07,028 I'm not trying to get headlines, if that's what you're saying. 268 00:13:07,028 --> 00:13:10,004 I didn't say that, but funny you did. 269 00:13:11,029 --> 00:13:12,810 Have you got anything? 270 00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:17,442 You would agree, Mr. Mayor, that by and large, 271 00:13:17,442 --> 00:13:19,382 vegetarians are communists. 272 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,749 I certainly would not. 273 00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:22,401 We're at war, Mr. Bostwick. 274 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,716 Think we can win that war if we suddenly say to our soldiers, 275 00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:25,792 "no more meat"? 276 00:13:25,792 --> 00:13:28,654 Think a nation of fish-eaters can protect the world, you wimp? 277 00:13:28,654 --> 00:13:32,098 - Objection. - Withdrawn. Nothing further. 278 00:13:32,098 --> 00:13:35,565 What the hell are you doing? 279 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,817 Don't bother with the merits, Shirley. 280 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,492 This case, it's all about the judge. 281 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,471 You asked to see us. 282 00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:16,533 Sit. 283 00:14:17,717 --> 00:14:19,306 Not to worry. This is standard. 284 00:14:19,306 --> 00:14:20,588 He purposely doesn't look up. 285 00:14:20,588 --> 00:14:25,044 It's a technique taught in the '40s for establishing dominion. 286 00:14:31,134 --> 00:14:35,441 You were involved in a bar altercation last night? 287 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,804 Altercation? I think not. 288 00:14:36,804 --> 00:14:38,432 It was a brawl. 289 00:14:38,432 --> 00:14:41,441 - And you were arrested? - I was. 290 00:14:41,441 --> 00:14:43,356 Trial starts tomorrow, actually. 291 00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:46,916 Can I count on you as a character witness? 292 00:14:46,916 --> 00:14:48,581 Who's defending you? 293 00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:53,684 I'm representing myself, with Tara's assistance. 294 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,973 There's no opportunity to plead this out? 295 00:14:55,973 --> 00:14:58,897 Only if I plead guilty, which is, of course, unacceptable. 296 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,961 I have to worry about a three strikes law, 297 00:15:00,961 --> 00:15:04,975 since I plan to commit future crimes. 298 00:15:06,003 --> 00:15:11,005 I don't know what kind of career death wish you have, Mr. Shore, 299 00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:13,565 but if you're convicted, if you get time, 300 00:15:13,565 --> 00:15:15,470 your employment will be terminated. 301 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:17,232 That may be of little consequence to you... 302 00:15:17,232 --> 00:15:20,190 If I had a nickel for every time you've threatened to fire me, Paul, 303 00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:22,488 I could simply retire. 304 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,738 Alan, cut it out. 305 00:15:25,544 --> 00:15:29,945 It is not my habit to lecture, 306 00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:34,090 but what you did last night was selfish. 307 00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:38,514 We have a reputation here at Crane, Poole & Schmidt. 308 00:15:38,514 --> 00:15:42,410 The attorneys here take great pride in that reputation. 309 00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:45,968 It undermines everyone at Crane, Poole & Schmidt 310 00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:49,568 when a lawyer here is criminally prosecuted. 311 00:15:49,568 --> 00:15:53,112 Your actions hurt people. 312 00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:57,785 All of us must now tender explanations 313 00:15:57,785 --> 00:16:00,816 to our friends, our colleagues, 314 00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:06,525 to safeguard and repair the reputation of Crane, Poole & Schmidt. 315 00:16:06,525 --> 00:16:07,888 Stop it! 316 00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:14,692 I've had it. 317 00:16:17,301 --> 00:16:18,476 Do you hear me? 318 00:16:18,476 --> 00:16:20,227 I have had it. 319 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,424 Get out, both of you. 320 00:16:51,864 --> 00:16:54,174 Personally, I would never eat meat. 321 00:16:54,174 --> 00:16:55,316 Why, doctor? 322 00:16:55,316 --> 00:16:58,582 We don't have the means to keep track of what cattle are being fed, 323 00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:00,808 nor are we adequately testing them, in my opinion. 324 00:17:00,808 --> 00:17:03,635 Your honor, I object to paranoia being offered as evidence. 325 00:17:03,635 --> 00:17:05,964 I'm sorry, but it's absolutely reckless 326 00:17:05,964 --> 00:17:08,412 for a government to be telling us we're safe 327 00:17:08,412 --> 00:17:11,852 when the scientific community can't necessarily detect all the ways 328 00:17:11,852 --> 00:17:14,555 this disease can be contracted or transmitted. 329 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,475 But let's look at statistics. 330 00:17:16,475 --> 00:17:20,302 Nobody in this country seems to be getting sick from mad cows. 331 00:17:20,302 --> 00:17:22,552 Judge, we just can't know that. 332 00:17:22,552 --> 00:17:26,099 The disease may have an incubation period of up to 40 years. 333 00:17:26,099 --> 00:17:27,761 You may be infected right now. 334 00:17:27,761 --> 00:17:28,991 My point is, 335 00:17:28,991 --> 00:17:32,739 nobody now seems to be demonstrating symptoms. 336 00:17:32,739 --> 00:17:34,864 We don't know that for sure, either. 337 00:17:35,089 --> 00:17:37,392 The human strain of the mad cow disease 338 00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:39,498 is called Creutzfeldt-Jakob. 339 00:17:39,498 --> 00:17:40,824 We call it CJD. 340 00:17:40,824 --> 00:17:45,191 But you can also get CJD sporadically, with no link to infected meat. 341 00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:48,294 And some of the people we've diagnosed with Alzheimer's 342 00:17:48,294 --> 00:17:50,530 might, in fact, have CJD. 343 00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:54,111 We don't know how many cases there really are. 344 00:17:54,111 --> 00:17:57,248 You cannot tell me the government has all this figured out. 345 00:17:57,248 --> 00:17:59,220 And the government just covers this up? 346 00:17:59,220 --> 00:18:01,482 Well, it's probably not so much a cover-up. 347 00:18:01,482 --> 00:18:04,400 It's just we're not terribly motivated to discover the problem. 348 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,401 The economic consequences would be too severe. 349 00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:07,886 Economic consequences, 350 00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,913 the beef industry would risk an outbreak of mad cow disease. 351 00:18:10,913 --> 00:18:12,536 That wouldn't bankrupt them overnight? 352 00:18:12,536 --> 00:18:15,827 The beef industry can't always tell when a cow is sick, 353 00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:19,341 and they're desperate to believe that isolated cases are isolated cases. 354 00:18:19,341 --> 00:18:21,766 And the department of agriculture just plays along? 355 00:18:21,766 --> 00:18:25,295 The month after that sick cow was found in Washington state, 356 00:18:25,295 --> 00:18:29,160 mad cow testing dropped almost 50%. 357 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,121 - That's outrageous. - It eventually went up. 358 00:18:31,121 --> 00:18:34,955 Look, they tried to track the herd where that Washington cow came from... 359 00:18:34,955 --> 00:18:37,939 they couldn't find 53 of the 80 cows. 360 00:18:37,939 --> 00:18:41,243 They've since admitted their cattle trackback system isn't up and running, 361 00:18:41,243 --> 00:18:44,703 and it would have to be done on a voluntary basis. 362 00:18:44,703 --> 00:18:46,295 Voluntary... 363 00:18:46,295 --> 00:18:52,639 please, what meat-packing plant wants the distinction of having a mad cow? 364 00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:55,819 Which is why I order the fish. 365 00:18:59,687 --> 00:19:01,725 Denny. / Hmm. 366 00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,811 - I'm getting my ass kicked here. - I can see that. 367 00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:06,107 Any suggestions? 368 00:19:09,527 --> 00:19:11,396 - How old are you, sir? - 46. 369 00:19:11,396 --> 00:19:14,462 I'm 72, and I can mop the floor with you. You know why? 370 00:19:14,462 --> 00:19:16,463 I eat meat. 371 00:19:16,463 --> 00:19:18,471 Makes me strong, builds up my immune system, 372 00:19:18,471 --> 00:19:21,047 fights off a whole bunch of other diseases I might have had 373 00:19:21,047 --> 00:19:23,479 if I weren't so strong. 374 00:19:23,718 --> 00:19:26,427 Red meat saves lives, baby. 375 00:19:26,427 --> 00:19:28,158 - You ever think about that? - I'm sorry, 376 00:19:28,158 --> 00:19:31,297 but there's no real evidence to support that opinion. 377 00:19:31,802 --> 00:19:34,020 Oh, I'm sorry. 378 00:19:34,531 --> 00:19:37,424 Any hard evidence to support yours? 379 00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,929 Hard evidence, no. 380 00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:47,172 But I don't think we really want to wait for that evidence to come rushing in. 381 00:19:52,701 --> 00:19:54,503 I had him there, 382 00:19:54,768 --> 00:19:56,664 right till the end. 383 00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:02,164 He basically offered us $100 to fight. 384 00:20:02,164 --> 00:20:03,334 You took the money. 385 00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:05,045 Yes. / And you fought. 386 00:20:05,045 --> 00:20:06,366 Yes. 387 00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:08,063 Thank you, sir. 388 00:20:10,998 --> 00:20:12,909 Interesting. We agree to stipulate to the facts, 389 00:20:12,909 --> 00:20:15,310 and the prosecution sees fit to distort them just the same. 390 00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:16,938 - Objection. - Mr. Edwards, I didn't say, 391 00:20:16,938 --> 00:20:18,899 "here's $100, go fight," did I? 392 00:20:18,899 --> 00:20:21,281 Well... / Did I not first ask your friend Mike 393 00:20:21,281 --> 00:20:23,514 to avenge an assault committed against me? 394 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,618 Yes. / And then when Mike was attacked, 395 00:20:25,618 --> 00:20:28,753 I enlisted you and others to go to his aid, did I not? 396 00:20:28,753 --> 00:20:31,538 Yes. / And the man who first assaulted me 397 00:20:31,538 --> 00:20:34,040 had many colleagues who joined the fray, did he not? / Yes. 398 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:37,470 In fact, Joe's friends first turned it into a brawl, wouldn't you say? 399 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:41,509 Yes. / And as a friend of Mike's, is it your testimony 400 00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:45,143 you would not have gone to his aid had I not offered you money? 401 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:47,638 No, I would have probably jumped in anyway at that point. 402 00:20:47,638 --> 00:20:49,957 Well, given your honest and forthright testimony, 403 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,506 which has shed blinding light on what happened in the bar that night, 404 00:20:52,506 --> 00:20:54,073 would you now consider yourself 405 00:20:54,073 --> 00:20:57,951 a witness more for the prosecution or the defense? 406 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,938 Um, I guess defense. 407 00:21:01,938 --> 00:21:03,638 Thank you, Mr. Edwards. 408 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:06,222 You deserve another $100. 409 00:21:16,394 --> 00:21:17,547 We're going to lose? 410 00:21:17,547 --> 00:21:18,884 It hasn't gone well. 411 00:21:18,884 --> 00:21:19,991 Surely you've noticed. 412 00:21:19,991 --> 00:21:21,945 My grandfather started this steak house. 413 00:21:21,945 --> 00:21:23,242 How can... 414 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:25,868 - I just can't believe it. - Look, it isn't over yet. 415 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,305 We still have summations, but... 416 00:21:31,586 --> 00:21:33,467 Let me tell you this one more time. 417 00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:35,654 Play the judge. 418 00:21:35,654 --> 00:21:38,105 The man lives with his mother, and he wears lifts. 419 00:21:38,105 --> 00:21:40,512 The buzzword is nansy-pansy. 420 00:21:40,512 --> 00:21:43,651 - I beg your pardon. - Nansy-pansy. 421 00:21:43,651 --> 00:21:45,743 He doesn't want to fall on that side of the fence. 422 00:21:45,743 --> 00:21:48,493 It's even worse than namby-pamby. 423 00:21:48,493 --> 00:21:51,733 - What are you talking about? - Trust me, Shirley. 424 00:21:52,868 --> 00:21:55,373 For once, can you do that? 425 00:21:57,081 --> 00:22:00,345 Nansy-pansy. 426 00:22:09,106 --> 00:22:11,601 I was thinking perhaps I should close. 427 00:22:11,601 --> 00:22:13,059 Don't be ridiculous. 428 00:22:13,059 --> 00:22:14,805 - I'm sorry? - No offense, Tara, 429 00:22:14,805 --> 00:22:17,080 but since I handled the witness, the jury will be... 430 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,725 Did you see the faces on the jury? 431 00:22:19,975 --> 00:22:21,015 They weren't impressed. 432 00:22:21,015 --> 00:22:22,640 They found you smug. 433 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,532 You were, perhaps, too self-satisfied to notice. 434 00:22:26,687 --> 00:22:30,364 Are we at a certain point in our cycle, Tara? 435 00:22:34,388 --> 00:22:36,141 I apologize. 436 00:22:36,141 --> 00:22:37,592 Do you? 437 00:22:38,722 --> 00:22:40,505 That's a first. 438 00:22:43,884 --> 00:22:46,125 Say what you must. 439 00:22:46,863 --> 00:22:49,291 I was hugely embarrassed by what happened at the bar, 440 00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:51,000 not to mention terrified. 441 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,941 I could have been injured. Did that ever occur to you? 442 00:22:53,941 --> 00:22:54,972 I mean, it would have been one thing 443 00:22:54,972 --> 00:22:57,568 had you had a neanderthal reaction and swung back, 444 00:22:57,568 --> 00:22:59,846 but your response was considered. 445 00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:03,895 You reflectively, calmly orchestrated your violence. 446 00:23:03,895 --> 00:23:06,137 People could have been hurt. 447 00:23:06,137 --> 00:23:08,150 I could have been hurt, 448 00:23:08,150 --> 00:23:09,788 but you've not once considered that, 449 00:23:09,788 --> 00:23:12,942 because contrary to the rumor that you are the center of the universe, 450 00:23:12,942 --> 00:23:16,086 clearly you are the universe, 451 00:23:16,309 --> 00:23:19,904 and I, for one, am getting sick of it. 452 00:23:42,719 --> 00:23:44,579 Alan Shore's a good lawyer, Paul. 453 00:23:44,579 --> 00:23:47,210 If we fire him, it does leave a hole. 454 00:23:47,210 --> 00:23:48,737 I am certainly mindful of that, 455 00:23:48,737 --> 00:23:50,851 but how far do we let him push us? 456 00:23:50,851 --> 00:23:53,497 He has done this at every firm he has worked for. 457 00:23:53,497 --> 00:23:55,555 He defies them to the point... 458 00:23:55,555 --> 00:23:57,240 His last firm sued him. 459 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,379 Yes, and he went on. They didn't. 460 00:24:00,542 --> 00:24:02,341 Schmidt, you called? 461 00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:04,360 Cellina, I called you three hours ago. 462 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,506 Where have you been? 463 00:24:05,506 --> 00:24:06,674 Patriots parade. 464 00:24:06,674 --> 00:24:08,690 The patriots parade was last week. 465 00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:10,687 Three super bowls, four years. 466 00:24:10,687 --> 00:24:12,545 I'm still on parade. 467 00:24:13,558 --> 00:24:17,118 You worked on that Ianetti meat-packing case last year, didn't you? 468 00:24:17,118 --> 00:24:17,938 Yes. 469 00:24:17,938 --> 00:24:21,602 What do you know about that cow in Washington state? 470 00:24:22,616 --> 00:24:25,662 I'm about to suffer an embarrassing defeat in court. 471 00:24:25,662 --> 00:24:29,180 I need to show that what happened in Washington was an isolated, what? 472 00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:31,325 Don't go near the Washington case. 473 00:24:31,325 --> 00:24:34,033 It's possible it wasn't even a downer cow. 474 00:24:34,033 --> 00:24:35,979 What do you mean, downer cow? 475 00:24:35,979 --> 00:24:38,431 Basically, it means the cow fell down. 476 00:24:38,431 --> 00:24:40,852 We're told that the mad cows are easy to spot 477 00:24:40,852 --> 00:24:43,248 because they stumble and fall. 478 00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:45,348 We were told that this cow fell, 479 00:24:45,348 --> 00:24:47,124 but eyewitnesses in Washington 480 00:24:47,124 --> 00:24:51,312 say the cow was walking and was tested only as a fluke. 481 00:24:51,312 --> 00:24:52,307 Which means... 482 00:24:52,307 --> 00:24:57,821 while we're being told that the sick cows show easily detectable symptoms... 483 00:24:57,821 --> 00:25:02,013 they sometimes don't, and therefore go undetected. 484 00:25:02,013 --> 00:25:05,200 Stay away from the Washington case. 485 00:25:05,512 --> 00:25:07,111 Thank you, Cellina. 486 00:25:12,096 --> 00:25:14,416 Pardon the expression, but... 487 00:25:14,416 --> 00:25:15,814 I'm dead meat. 488 00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:17,791 You really think you're going to lose? 489 00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:21,394 I'm tempted to employ Denny's strategy. 490 00:25:21,394 --> 00:25:23,795 Which is... 491 00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:27,784 Nansy-pansy. 492 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,775 All I know is he instigated the brawl. 493 00:25:31,775 --> 00:25:34,720 The charge is conspiracy to commit aggravated assault. 494 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,842 Talking about me, Brad? 495 00:25:37,564 --> 00:25:41,011 Yeah, we're just trying to imagine you as an instigator. 496 00:25:41,011 --> 00:25:42,992 What's that supposed to mean? 497 00:25:45,582 --> 00:25:46,919 Sorry. 498 00:25:47,262 --> 00:25:49,142 - Forget it. - No, let's not forget it. 499 00:25:49,142 --> 00:25:50,749 How about you say what you have to say? 500 00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:53,826 Or is that too monumental an effort, completing whole sentences? 501 00:25:53,826 --> 00:25:55,671 - Come on, Alan. - You want to talk about me, Lori? 502 00:25:55,671 --> 00:25:57,861 Perhaps you should reposition yourself behind my back. 503 00:25:57,861 --> 00:25:59,095 Isn't that the rule of the game? 504 00:25:59,095 --> 00:26:01,050 I don't talk about you behind your back. 505 00:26:01,050 --> 00:26:02,969 You're not that interesting. 506 00:26:03,738 --> 00:26:05,909 I'm tired of this. Got that? 507 00:26:10,377 --> 00:26:12,162 I don't know what's going on with you, sport, 508 00:26:12,162 --> 00:26:14,552 but you're certainly smart enough to realize 509 00:26:14,552 --> 00:26:18,231 that I could probably dismember you in about the time... 510 00:26:18,729 --> 00:26:19,814 Then do it. / Cut it out. 511 00:26:19,814 --> 00:26:21,198 What the hell is going on? 512 00:26:21,198 --> 00:26:23,282 Careful, Tara. I wouldn't want you to get hurt. 513 00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:24,242 Listen to me. 514 00:26:24,242 --> 00:26:27,330 Talking to others as if I weren't the only one in the universe. 515 00:26:27,330 --> 00:26:28,804 When will I learn? 516 00:26:28,804 --> 00:26:30,805 No, when will we learn? 517 00:26:31,107 --> 00:26:34,174 That you are always right. 518 00:26:36,622 --> 00:26:39,088 That it makes sense to start a bar room brawl. 519 00:26:39,088 --> 00:26:43,814 That it's perfectly reasonable to get into a shoving match at the office. 520 00:26:44,045 --> 00:26:47,496 Nothing could be going on with you. 521 00:26:49,047 --> 00:26:52,099 When will we learn? 522 00:26:55,032 --> 00:26:56,942 Get help. 523 00:27:07,997 --> 00:27:12,036 We had an expression in this country years ago called "where's the beef?" 524 00:27:12,036 --> 00:27:15,414 Translation, where's the substance? 525 00:27:15,705 --> 00:27:17,832 Your honor, do you know anybody 526 00:27:17,832 --> 00:27:21,354 who's been victimized by mad cow disease? 527 00:27:21,354 --> 00:27:23,915 Know anybody who knows anybody? 528 00:27:24,379 --> 00:27:29,679 Know anybody who knows anybody who knows anybody? 529 00:27:30,087 --> 00:27:32,880 There's simply not a shred of evidence to 530 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,706 suggest that a single person in this country 531 00:27:35,706 --> 00:27:39,315 has ever become ill from a mad cow. 532 00:27:39,519 --> 00:27:41,921 But why wait? 533 00:27:41,921 --> 00:27:43,370 That's the mayor's jingle. 534 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,792 Why wait? 535 00:27:46,051 --> 00:27:48,500 Because this man and others like him 536 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:53,491 have sacrificed their lives and their livelihoods building their restaurants. 537 00:27:53,491 --> 00:27:55,484 Maybe as a courtesy, 538 00:27:55,484 --> 00:27:58,443 we could wait for a scintilla of evidence 539 00:27:58,443 --> 00:28:02,130 before arbitrarily destroying their businesses. 540 00:28:02,130 --> 00:28:03,451 The fact is, 541 00:28:03,451 --> 00:28:07,148 the USDA has done an exemplary job conducting tests, 542 00:28:07,148 --> 00:28:10,803 establishing safeguards to prevent the outbreak of mad cow disease, 543 00:28:10,803 --> 00:28:13,343 which is probably why it hasn't broken out. 544 00:28:13,343 --> 00:28:16,752 Well, we could give in to our fear and panic... 545 00:28:16,752 --> 00:28:18,779 baseless panic. 546 00:28:18,779 --> 00:28:21,430 but that would make us... 547 00:28:25,634 --> 00:28:29,136 a nation of nansy-pansies. 548 00:28:29,136 --> 00:28:31,187 I don't know about you, but... 549 00:28:31,187 --> 00:28:35,358 I don't want to be a nansy-pansy. 550 00:28:40,129 --> 00:28:42,178 Towns make rules all the time. 551 00:28:42,178 --> 00:28:45,875 Lots of them zoned fast-food restaurants out of business. 552 00:28:45,875 --> 00:28:47,442 Through permits, 553 00:28:47,656 --> 00:28:50,847 they can control how you build your house. 554 00:28:50,847 --> 00:28:54,298 Some towns ban alcohol, cigarettes. 555 00:28:54,298 --> 00:28:55,609 Others have curfews. 556 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:57,932 We do all kinds of things. 557 00:28:57,932 --> 00:29:02,198 The only legal requirement is that the laws are reasonable. 558 00:29:02,198 --> 00:29:07,972 It is not unreasonable to fear an outbreak of mad cow disease. 559 00:29:07,972 --> 00:29:09,817 We've had a case in Washington state, 560 00:29:09,817 --> 00:29:12,924 another last month in Canada. 561 00:29:12,924 --> 00:29:15,865 We just lifted the ban on Canadian beef. 562 00:29:15,865 --> 00:29:19,561 The incubation period for this disease could be decades. 563 00:29:19,561 --> 00:29:23,323 We have no guarantee that we're not already infected. 564 00:29:23,323 --> 00:29:25,489 It is simply reckless 565 00:29:25,489 --> 00:29:28,023 for the government to be injecting certainty 566 00:29:28,023 --> 00:29:30,372 when the scientific community cannot. 567 00:29:30,372 --> 00:29:31,705 And forget mad cow. 568 00:29:31,705 --> 00:29:36,430 We already know that eating beef can cause high cholesterol, heart disease. 569 00:29:36,430 --> 00:29:38,472 It increases the risk of colon cancer. 570 00:29:38,472 --> 00:29:43,142 There's listeria and E. coli, which has already killed people. 571 00:29:43,142 --> 00:29:44,524 Dioxin, 572 00:29:44,524 --> 00:29:47,484 the poison that almost killed the Ukrainian president, 573 00:29:47,484 --> 00:29:51,257 that stuff is on our grazing grass. 574 00:29:51,257 --> 00:29:53,469 Scientists say the average American has 575 00:29:53,469 --> 00:29:56,285 about 10 units of dioxin in their blood fat 576 00:29:56,285 --> 00:29:59,529 simply from eating animal fat. 577 00:30:00,126 --> 00:30:04,825 There are all kinds of reasonable justifications 578 00:30:04,825 --> 00:30:09,453 for a mayor to try to reduce red meat from the diet of his citizenry. 579 00:30:09,453 --> 00:30:11,449 And let me remind you. 580 00:30:11,669 --> 00:30:13,144 there is nothing... 581 00:30:13,769 --> 00:30:17,010 nothing in the constitution 582 00:30:17,010 --> 00:30:21,765 that guarantees anybody the right to sell a hamburger. 583 00:30:36,415 --> 00:30:38,202 This wasn't self-defense. 584 00:30:38,202 --> 00:30:40,532 Mr. Shore was not under any physical threat 585 00:30:40,532 --> 00:30:42,565 when he paid the first man to fight. 586 00:30:42,565 --> 00:30:45,636 This was vengeance for hire. 587 00:30:45,636 --> 00:30:49,323 And once that violence began, he started paying others to escalate it. 588 00:30:49,323 --> 00:30:51,618 These facts are not in dispute. 589 00:30:51,618 --> 00:30:54,873 The only real question for you here is, 590 00:30:54,873 --> 00:30:59,034 is Mr. Shoreabove the law or not? 591 00:31:12,249 --> 00:31:14,436 I've been accused of, 592 00:31:14,436 --> 00:31:18,623 reflectively, perhaps even glibly, 593 00:31:18,623 --> 00:31:22,642 orchestrating a little revenge. 594 00:31:22,642 --> 00:31:26,324 Well, I guess that's how I wanted it to look. 595 00:31:26,324 --> 00:31:29,307 A man punched me in the face 596 00:31:29,579 --> 00:31:32,113 in front of my girlfriend. 597 00:31:32,364 --> 00:31:36,648 And while my instinct was to hit him back, 598 00:31:36,648 --> 00:31:40,279 the truth is, I was afraid. 599 00:31:40,668 --> 00:31:47,534 I was fearful that if I retaliated, he would... 600 00:31:48,195 --> 00:31:50,186 beat me up. 601 00:31:50,186 --> 00:31:53,115 So I got somebody else to do my fighting. 602 00:31:53,115 --> 00:31:56,467 Then things got out of hand. 603 00:31:58,203 --> 00:32:00,966 And, well... 604 00:32:01,290 --> 00:32:04,959 I had to send more and more troops 605 00:32:04,959 --> 00:32:08,638 to a war that should've ended quickly. 606 00:32:08,638 --> 00:32:11,203 But make no mistake, 607 00:32:11,203 --> 00:32:20,919 my reaction that night was not so much reflective as it was... 608 00:32:21,804 --> 00:32:23,868 primal. 609 00:32:24,724 --> 00:32:27,212 A man hit me. 610 00:32:28,502 --> 00:32:37,237 And while we like to think of ourselves as being evolved... 611 00:32:40,031 --> 00:32:43,196 maybe I should've just hit him. 612 00:32:44,794 --> 00:32:49,715 There's a warrior that lies within the belly of every man. 613 00:32:49,715 --> 00:32:55,227 A warrior who, in my case, has always gone unsatisfied. 614 00:32:55,227 --> 00:33:00,020 I tried to satisfy him but without pain. 615 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:03,335 That's what the craven do, sometimes. 616 00:33:03,818 --> 00:33:06,303 They stand out of the fray, 617 00:33:06,303 --> 00:33:11,148 thump their egos along with their chests, 618 00:33:11,465 --> 00:33:14,482 and let others do the fighting. 619 00:33:46,669 --> 00:33:48,853 Well, thank you all for staying late. 620 00:33:52,395 --> 00:33:54,594 I did some research of my own. 621 00:33:54,594 --> 00:33:58,870 As you may know, I pride myself on being a conscientious fact finder. 622 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,387 Here we go. 623 00:34:03,578 --> 00:34:05,468 Mad cow disease is here. 624 00:34:05,468 --> 00:34:07,865 And for all the guarantees supplied by the government, 625 00:34:07,865 --> 00:34:10,332 the scientific community doesn't back them up. 626 00:34:10,332 --> 00:34:13,644 We all have a right to be concerned. 627 00:34:13,644 --> 00:34:16,158 The governmental agencies in place to protect us 628 00:34:16,158 --> 00:34:20,792 seem to be controlled by the industries we need protection from. 629 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:24,115 This mad cow disease started out in Europe and worked its way over here, 630 00:34:24,115 --> 00:34:28,601 and it is true the scientists are at odds with our government, 631 00:34:28,601 --> 00:34:30,546 but as a trier of fact, 632 00:34:30,546 --> 00:34:34,491 a judge must rely on facts. 633 00:34:34,491 --> 00:34:38,180 And there is no evidence of an epidemic. 634 00:34:38,180 --> 00:34:41,094 If a judge were to allow himself to be governed by fear alone, 635 00:34:41,094 --> 00:34:43,366 well, then it is true, and I agree. 636 00:34:43,366 --> 00:34:45,775 It would make him a... 637 00:34:46,723 --> 00:34:49,369 A nansy-pansy. 638 00:34:49,656 --> 00:34:52,270 This judge is anything but. 639 00:34:52,270 --> 00:34:54,608 I find the law banning the sale of red meat 640 00:34:54,608 --> 00:34:58,739 to be premature, if not capricious, and it is hereby overturned. 641 00:34:58,739 --> 00:35:00,570 Way to go, judge. 642 00:35:02,022 --> 00:35:03,874 Case adjourned. 643 00:35:06,275 --> 00:35:07,552 Anybody up for a burger? 644 00:35:07,552 --> 00:35:09,614 Thank you, thank you. 645 00:35:10,427 --> 00:35:12,029 Thank god. 646 00:35:15,679 --> 00:35:18,931 Well, Denny, I admit, I had my doubts. 647 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,295 But you won this case. Thank you. 648 00:35:22,295 --> 00:35:25,027 Does this mean we're having sex tonight? 649 00:35:26,205 --> 00:35:30,797 Allow me the dream a little longer. 650 00:35:31,346 --> 00:35:33,331 I won the day. 651 00:35:33,569 --> 00:35:36,393 I deserve to be rewarded. 652 00:35:36,393 --> 00:35:38,339 I'll give you this. 653 00:35:41,347 --> 00:35:44,570 Denny, Denny, 654 00:35:44,835 --> 00:35:48,492 Denny Crane. 655 00:36:06,382 --> 00:36:09,456 I must be acquitted. She's not smiling. 656 00:36:09,456 --> 00:36:12,875 Madam foreperson, you've reached a unanimous verdict? 657 00:36:12,875 --> 00:36:15,254 - We have, your honor. - What say you? 658 00:36:16,043 --> 00:36:18,054 Commonwealth vs. Alan Shore, 659 00:36:18,054 --> 00:36:21,319 on the count of conspiracy to commit aggravated assault, 660 00:36:21,319 --> 00:36:25,790 we find the defendant Alan Shore not guilty. 661 00:36:25,790 --> 00:36:27,743 We appeal, judge. 662 00:36:29,770 --> 00:36:33,434 Members of the jury, this completes your service. You can go. 663 00:36:33,434 --> 00:36:35,484 Mr. Shore. 664 00:36:36,340 --> 00:36:38,788 This probably doesn't have to be goodbye 665 00:36:38,788 --> 00:36:42,342 so much as until we meet again. 666 00:36:42,342 --> 00:36:44,146 Yes, your honor. 667 00:36:47,327 --> 00:36:49,661 She's attracted to me. 668 00:36:50,183 --> 00:36:51,499 No doubt. 669 00:36:52,012 --> 00:36:53,520 Tara... 670 00:36:54,304 --> 00:36:56,215 I am sorry. 671 00:36:56,559 --> 00:36:59,803 I never meant to put you in any danger. 672 00:36:59,803 --> 00:37:02,172 I know. 673 00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:06,158 When you... 674 00:37:09,089 --> 00:37:12,791 launched into that diatribe about me being the... 675 00:37:12,791 --> 00:37:14,657 The universe? 676 00:37:17,490 --> 00:37:20,463 You even said you were sick of it. 677 00:37:22,771 --> 00:37:25,419 Are you sick of me? 678 00:37:29,439 --> 00:37:32,813 Are you sick of me, Tara? 679 00:37:34,806 --> 00:37:36,565 No. 680 00:37:45,583 --> 00:37:48,080 As much as I... 681 00:37:49,524 --> 00:37:54,450 loathe sentiment together with its expression, 682 00:37:55,321 --> 00:37:57,853 I cherish you. 683 00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:02,360 You should just know... 684 00:38:07,260 --> 00:38:10,648 you really, really smell good. 685 00:38:12,901 --> 00:38:15,189 You smell good, too. 686 00:38:47,691 --> 00:38:49,486 How'd you do? 687 00:38:49,486 --> 00:38:52,777 The jury was out 15 minutes. Not guilty. 688 00:38:53,259 --> 00:38:55,398 They took pity on me. 689 00:38:55,736 --> 00:38:57,702 Congratulations. 690 00:39:00,476 --> 00:39:02,248 I heard you won. 691 00:39:04,992 --> 00:39:07,286 Everything okay? 692 00:39:09,248 --> 00:39:11,833 I don't have Alzheimer's. 693 00:39:12,703 --> 00:39:15,094 I have mad cow disease. 694 00:39:17,357 --> 00:39:20,223 Well, it's nice to finally know. 695 00:39:27,013 --> 00:39:31,181 Ever beat up anybody with your bare hands? 696 00:39:31,534 --> 00:39:33,551 Many times. 697 00:39:35,201 --> 00:39:36,916 Why? 698 00:39:37,570 --> 00:39:39,664 Just asking. 699 00:39:40,233 --> 00:39:41,851 Have you? 700 00:39:44,057 --> 00:39:45,449 No. 701 00:39:48,134 --> 00:39:49,729 Well... 702 00:39:50,731 --> 00:39:54,440 it makes you a better man than I, I guess. 703 00:39:57,032 --> 00:39:58,766 I guess so.