1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,990
Previously on "californication"...

2
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,590
- father?
- Daughter

3
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,890
why is there a naked
lady in your bedroom?

4
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:05,590
Revenge?

5
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,590
What are you talking about, revenge?

6
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:10,990
Do make it like it wasn't the least bit
satisfying to fuck the wife of the man

7
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,390
who turned your precious, little
book into a big, shitty movie.

8
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,590
Sick of you talking shit
about me in the press.

9
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,590
I thought you might have
come by because you found out

10
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,090
I fucked your wife in almost
every room of your house.

11
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,690
Asshole.

12
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:24,990
Charlie runkel's office.

13
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,690
Your assistant makes me want
to touch myself in a bad place.

14
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:32,590
But from now on, if I make a
mistake or I screw something up,

15
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:37,190
you should feel free to discipline
me in whatever way you see fit.

16
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:39,790
Hi.Remember me?

17
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,790
How could I forget?Best blind
date of my life, asshole.

18
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:47,390
Well, let me make it up to
you.Can I take you out sometime?

19
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,990
The guy you saw me with last night.

20
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,090
He's married.

21
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Fucking a married a guy for five years?

22
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,290
Call him whatever you want.

23
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:56,290
And, bill, don't
worry.He can stay with me.

24
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,890
Once upon a time, I used to love you.

25
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:02,490
And no matter what, you will
always be a part of my life.

26
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:05,290
But I'm not in love with you anymore.

27
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,690
Yusef, what's a five-letter
word for "excitable boy"?

28
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,990
Zevon.Booyah.

29
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,390
That's a smart dog.

30
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,090
Thank you.

31
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,490
So...last night.

32
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:29,990
What about it?

33
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,890
I don't want to be
hyperbolic or anything,

34
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:35,090
but I think we took things
to a whole other level.

35
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,490
And why do you feel the need
to relive it the next morning?

36
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:41,390
That's half the fun.You
know, it's like...

37
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,590
it's like getting to
do it all over again.

38
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:51,690
Except without the after-sex
sadness that comes down upon one.

39
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:58,490
Hank, I think we need to talk.

40
00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,890
Talk, really?

41
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:04,090
Has anything good ever
come of such a thing ever?

42
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,190
I just feel like we've been spending
a lot of time in the bedroom,

43
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,290
which is nice, very nice.

44
00:02:10,700 --> 00:02:13,590
But I'm also just coming out of this
horribly dysfunctional relationship

45
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,390
that only existed
in the bedroom --

46
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,090
oh, okay, you want me
to do you in the shower.

47
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:19,790
You know, I get it.

48
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,190
You want to go out on the town
with some hank on your arm.

49
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,590
You want to stroll
around with some of this.

50
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,490
That's totally understandable.We
can do it.We can go out.

51
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,990
Anything.Anything you
want to do.We'll do it.

52
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,090
Just name it.Let's go.Right now.

53
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,290
Okay, there's this fund-raiser.

54
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:39,890
No, can't do that.That
sounds excruciating.

55
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:40,690
I won't do that.

56
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,590
It's at your agency.I'm
sure you got an invite.

57
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,190
And I'm sure it went
right in the circular file.

58
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,290
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

59
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,090
It's for a good cause.

60
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:53,290
Well, I'm not much one for
causes, good or otherwise.

61
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,790
I'm not a joiner.

62
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,290
Apathy kills, hank.

63
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I don't care.

64
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Does that feel like apathy to you?

65
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-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents

66
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sync:YTET-addychristen


67
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:52,090
Californication
Season 1 Episode 04

68
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,590
Hey.

69
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:15,090
Um, you look...you
look -- you look

70
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:17,990
half-- you know
-- halfway decent.

71
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,990
Gee, thanks.

72
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,390
How's becca?

73
00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:25,590
Well, she's a little bummed.

74
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,790
Well, that's understandable,
but this thing came up.

75
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,190
I know, I know, but she's just...

76
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,890
dad.

77
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Beautiful daughter.

78
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Gee, I just -- I -- I
don't know where that...

79
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:41,390
a bribe?

80
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:45,690
No, I like to think of it more as
a token of my paternal affection.

81
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,590
Are you serious?!

82
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,490
This is awesome!

83
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:56,390
Just when I thought we'd agreed
not to get her a cellphone.

84
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,090
I thought we decided that, too,

85
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:02,590
but then I realized that she can call me
whenever she's pissed at you and lurch, so...

86
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,790
changed my mind.

87
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,290
Do you have a date?

88
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,390
I do.

89
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,890
Do you like her?

90
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,990
She is pretty cool.

91
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,690
As cool as mom?

92
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:17,690
Sadly, I have come to find
that that is not possible.

93
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:23,090
Well, if it's a date and not just
a random hookup, I guess I approve.

94
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,790
Yes!

95
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,390
But I want to hear
all about her tomorrow.

96
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,790
Absolutely.Absolutely.

97
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,090
Call me.

98
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:37,190
I can't believe you.So...

99
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,890
stop it.The date.

100
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:40,890
Are you in love?

101
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:41,690
Oh, shut up.

102
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:44,390
Where are you taking
her?Red lobster?Denny's?

103
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:49,690
I wish.I got this fucking fund-raiser
at the agency I got roped into going to.

104
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,090
Fascist architecture.

105
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,290
Hey, can I ask you a question?

106
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:01,490
Go for it.

107
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:02,990
What are we doing here?

108
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,090
Mixing and mingling.

109
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,390
oh, that's what I thought.

110
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,190
That explains why my sphincter
tightened up a couple notches.

111
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,490
Relax.

112
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:14,890
There's your agent.

113
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:28,290
Hey, hey!What's the problem?

114
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,090
You know how much I
hate that motherfucker.

115
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:34,390
Yes, I know how much you hate that
a-list, in-demand motherfucker.

116
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,090
And you know how much I've been
trying to sign him for years.

117
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,490
Don't make me fire
your ass all over again.

118
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,490
Hank, if I depended on you and
you alone for my commissions,

119
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:45,990
marcy and I would be sharing a tv
dinner under a bare light bulb right now.

120
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,490
I get that, but don't do it front of me.

121
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:50,690
It's like watching you
cheat on me with another man.

122
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,490
You give much better
head.Always have, always will.

123
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,690
I am impressed.

124
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:59,690
I can't believe you managed to drag this nonpartisan
asshole out of the house for this shindig.

125
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:01,990
I had to use all of my feminine wiles.

126
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,790
And a butt plug.

127
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,190
Speaking of which...where's marcy?

128
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,390
Emergency waxing session.

129
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:13,690
As we speak, she's likely staring into
the business end of angelina's vagina.

130
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,290
Let's take a time-out while I
meditate on that for a few moments.

131
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:22,790
You do that.I see a
friend.You come find me.

132
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,690
I'm sorry.Did you say something?

133
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,990
I told you, man.You just
needed to meet a nice girl.

134
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,690
She's not so nice.

135
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:33,490
Naughty?

136
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:36,390
Hey, do I ask you about
marcy's sexual proclivities?

137
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,490
Yes, all the time.It's odd, actually.

138
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:43,890
So, what are we talking about here?A
little "s" and "m"?A little light "b" & "d"?

139
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,590
Slow down, tiger.

140
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,290
- Mr.Moody.
- Morticia.

141
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,990
Call me hank, please.

142
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,790
So, do you still need me?

143
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,590
Did you finish reading that manuscript?

144
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,390
Yes.

145
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,890
Did you write your coverage on it yet?

146
00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:59,390
No, not yet.

147
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,990
Then, I think you just
answered your own question.

148
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,890
- Back to work.
- Yes, sir.

149
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:12,390
Anything you want to tell
me about there, captain?

150
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,890
Please.I'm a married man.

151
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,890
Anything you want to tell
me about there, captain?

152
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,690
Oh, carr.

153
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:30,990
Can we agree not to throw down
while we have our cocks out?

154
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,090
Really?Yours is out?

155
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,290
Fag.

156
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,890
I'm done fighting you, moody.

157
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:41,790
This from a man who had cksix-pa of
whoop-ass opened up on him last week.

158
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,590
I couldn't hurt you if I wanted to.

159
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,890
You're your own worst enemy.

160
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,990
That is a very astute observation
coming from a dumb guy.

161
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,890
Did me a big favor, actually.

162
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:54,190
Got me out of a horrible
fucking marriage.

163
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,990
Oh, you and sandy splitting
the sheets?Do tell.

164
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,390
That bitch is crazy.

165
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,090
Last time I ever marry
a fucking white woman.

166
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:02,490
Oh, I'm with you there.

167
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,890
Well, how'd she take it?

168
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,090
Haven't told her.

169
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,690
Thinking about doing it tonight.

170
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:07,890
Here?She's here?

171
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:12,290
- That's right.
- No, no, no.No, no.Hey, hey, hey.

172
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,590
There she is.The former mrs.Moody.

173
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,590
I was never officially a moody.

174
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,290
You were moody.You just weren't a moody.

175
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:36,290
Well, you could've made me less
moody if you'd made me into a moody.

176
00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:37,890
- I'll make you a moody right now.
- It's too late.

177
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:40,590
- It's four hours to vegas.
- No, it's too late.

178
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:45,690
We'll stop in barstow, in-n-out burgers,
shakes, fries, celebratory coupling,

179
00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:48,690
which I believe is part of
our sordid sexual history.

180
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:54,190
You know, it's very tempting, but I'm
gonna have to say no.But thank you.

181
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,390
Could you be on your
best behavior tonight?

182
00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,490
- Please, please.
- Like a child you talk to me.

183
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,690
- What do you think I'm gonna do?
- You are a child.

184
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,490
Stir the punch bowl with my dong?

185
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,590
Quite possibly, yes.

186
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,790
That's the thing with you, hank.

187
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:12,290
One never knows what to
expect from you or your dong.

188
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,990
And how is this not a virtue?

189
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,690
You know, honey, you do
look beautiful tonight.

190
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,390
Well, that's
-- thank you.

191
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,490
Thank you.

192
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,290
***

193
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,190
Stop it.

194
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,390
No, no, no, no.You just said you were
gonna behave.Bill is around the corner.

195
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,090
Okay, come on.We can be adults.

196
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,390
It just gets so lonely sometimes.

197
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,490
I need a hug in a moment, the moment
passes, and I'm good.Smell you later.

198
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:44,790
You finished yet?

199
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,990
Putting it together right now.

200
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,590
Bring it to me in my office.

201
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,290
U.T.K.-- Charlie
runkel's office.

202
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,990
It's your wife.

203
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,790
Hey, baby.

204
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,990
Yeah, it's going well.

205
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,690
How about you?How is angelina's cookie?

206
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,190
Really?

207
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:14,690
Well, that's one of the
benefits of adoption.

208
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:22,790
Yeah, um, you know what?You're
-- you're -- you're breaking up.

209
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,990
yeah, you're -- you're
-- I'm losing you, babe.

210
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,890
Okay, um, got to go.

211
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,690
Tell me what to do.

212
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:45,490
What if you don't want to
do what I tell you to do?

213
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,390
I think you're missing the point.

214
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,990
Thank you.

215
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,290
There you are.

216
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:11,590
Hank moody, please say hello to my colleague
jonathan mandel and his lovely wife, nikki.

217
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,390
Hank moody?The writer?

218
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,590
I used to be.Now I'm
hank moody the blogger.

219
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,190
Soon to be hank moody the bartender.

220
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,290
Meredith turned me on to your blog.

221
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,090
Highly entertaining, hank.

222
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:25,190
Well, that's what I do.I entertain.

223
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,790
I'd be interested to see what you
write about this little shindig.

224
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,990
Well, just off the top of my head...

225
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,590
I find it interesting that
all these people are ranting

226
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,090
and raving about saving the environment,

227
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,490
when they'll probably blow
like 10,000 pounds of fuel

228
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,690
on their private jet planes
getting down to cabo this weekend.

229
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,890
- That's right
- That's right, babs.You heard me.

230
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:46,990
Tell oprah I said so.

231
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,390
Put that in your pipe
and smoke it, ladies.

232
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,690
Meredith, can I get you another drink?

233
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,290
Will you excuse us?

234
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:58,990
Your writing is so good.

235
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,690
Oh, well, thank you.

236
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:04,690
I'm a bit of a scribbler
myself, you know?

237
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,690
Nikki man-- oh,
that nikki mandel.

238
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:10,490
You write all that hollywood,
trophy, clit-lit stank, don't you?

239
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:11,690
That's me.

240
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:15,590
Masturbation material for
the north of montana hausfrau.

241
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,890
Wow, you had me at masturbation.

242
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:18,890
I was hoping so.

243
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:19,790
You got me all wet.

244
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,690
The trick is coming up
with good story ideas.

245
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:23,790
I would imagine.

246
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,790
I'm always on the lookout
for new material...

247
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,790
if you know what I mean.

248
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,690
Yeah, it's hard not
to know what you mean,

249
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,590
especially when you're
being so subtle about it.

250
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,890
Doesn't pay to be a wallflower.

251
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:37,090
You and your husband seem
fine to me.What's the deal?

252
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:39,390
Looks can be deceiving.

253
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,890
Those two have been playing
grab-ass for years now.

254
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,890
"I see," said the blind man.

255
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:51,590
Excuse me a moment.

256
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,990
Can I talk to you for a second?

257
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,190
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?

258
00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,490
No, what are you doing?That's
married guy.Come on.

259
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,390
I didn't know he was gonna be here.

260
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,590
Come on.

261
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,590
Okay, I knew.

262
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:07,690
I'm sorry.

263
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,190
I don't care.It's still a lie.

264
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,890
Look, you want to create
a fuss with me?That's fine.

265
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,890
I'm listening.I'm kid chaos.

266
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:16,790
I'll create some chaos for you.

267
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,590
- How?
- How?

268
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,990
I want to be a
40-year-old virgin.

269
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,290
Why?

270
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:42,290
Because it seems like, once you get
laid, your life basically turns to shit.

271
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,590
It's not so bad.

272
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,390
You've had the sex?

273
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,190
Sure.

274
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:54,490
What's it like?

275
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,590
good.

276
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:03,390
Bad.

277
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,390
weird.

278
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,390
Powerful.

279
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,490
I don't know.Listen, you don't
have to worry about this stuff.

280
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,590
You got plenty of time.

281
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,990
- Watch the hair.
- Sorry.

282
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,190
You miss your dad, don't you?

283
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,990
Yeah.

284
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,490
I miss my mom.

285
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:32,390
For what it's worth, I know
my mom really likes you.

286
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,290
I like her, too.

287
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:40,390
It's just, uh, not the same, you know?

288
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,290
Do you like bill?

289
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:50,490
- Sure.He's nice.
- Yeah.

290
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,090
But he's not like hank.

291
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,690
Seriously, you're really lucky.

292
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:11,990
Nice.

293
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,990
- Hey, watch it!
- ***

294
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,490
Great!

295
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,090
You could look where you're going.

296
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,690
And you could be a
little bit less of a cunt.

297
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:24,590
What did you say?

298
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,390
What did I say?

299
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,890
I cunt hear you.

300
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:29,590
Whoa, back it up, lady.

301
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,590
What the hell happened here?

302
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,190
The guy spills his drink on me, and
then he has the balls to call me a cunt.

303
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,790
I didn't say a word!I
bumped into her.My bad.

304
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,090
You liar!Yes, you did!

305
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,590
She just freaked out on me.

306
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,290
Why didn't you get me?I
would've taken care of this.

307
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,990
I can take care of myself.

308
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:43,990
Clearly.

309
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,090
Sweetie, this is hardly the
time or the place for a scene.

310
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,990
- no***
- Can't we all just get along?

311
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,790
- I'm not looking to press charges.
- you***

312
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,790
Hey, hey!

313
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,990
Honey, get off of me.

314
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,590
- He's trying to be decent.
- No, he's not.He's trying to be a dick.

315
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,890
You want me to have him
thrown out?Just say the word.

316
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,990
I don'T.I just want to go.

317
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:06,690
Okay, okay.Now, look, there's
a couple I want you to meet.

318
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,590
Turns out they bought
that house you re-did.

319
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,490
There we go.

320
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,690
Come on, lean forward.

321
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,490
Just like that.

322
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,990
Oh, look at you, you
dirty, little animal.

323
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:22,790
Like this?

324
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,990
Oh, yes.

325
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:26,490
Yeah.

326
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:29,690
Oh, yeah.Oh, I missed.

327
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,690
Oh, yes.Look at that.

328
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:34,790
- Holy fucknuts!
- Oh, shit!

329
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:36,890
What, don't you fuckin' knock?

330
00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:38,690
Don't you lock?

331
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:43,690
Hey, why don't you go grab
him some water or something?

332
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,890
Hey, take it easy there, diane arbus.

333
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,690
Don't have a coronary, 'cause I wouldn't
know how to explain that to your wife.

334
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,990
It's all right.

335
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,090
Maybe it's time to punch
out there, bettie page.

336
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,590
Okay?All right.

337
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,390
Here.

338
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,490
First things
first --

339
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,990
you're not gonna stroke
out on me, are ya?

340
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,990
Good.You just relax.

341
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,190
You're good, you're
good.It's all good.It was me.

342
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,290
You're lucky it was me
coming in that door, huh?

343
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:33,190
Look at me.Look at
me.Let me see those eyes.

344
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,690
Yeah, oh, you're good, you're good.

345
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:37,890
- What the fuck?
- "What the fuck"?

346
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:40,890
What the fuck were you thinking,
fucking around with your secretary?

347
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,090
"How much of a big, fat clich?can I be"?

348
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,990
She started it, man.

349
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,090
Come on.

350
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,990
I guess I got a little carried away.

351
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,490
You think?

352
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:55,890
I don't even know what happened, man.

353
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,990
One minute, I am sailing along,

354
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:02,390
I'm being the guy who would
never, ever cheat on his wife.

355
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:07,790
The next second, I'm spanking the
bare, naked ass of a 22-year-old girl.

356
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:11,990
I'm not gonna be judgmental, because
"a" -- who the fuck am I to talk?

357
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,990
And "b" -- what you just
described sounds incredibly hot.

358
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,790
But you got to get your shit together.

359
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:18,890
All right?

360
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,990
- You owe it to marcy.
- I know.I know.

361
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,690
I'm such a fucking asshole, man.

362
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:26,590
If anybody deserves to
be disciplined, it's me.

363
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,990
It's not an invitation.

364
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,590
You know, if you're having
problems in the boudoir,

365
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,490
it's worth a conversation
with the old lady.

366
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,790
I'm afraid that ship
sailed some time ago.

367
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:49,590
I don't know, you know, marcy, to me,
is nothing if not a dirty, little girl.

368
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:54,390
I think, with all due
respect, if you talk to her,

369
00:19:54,400 --> 00:20:00,590
I think she'd be into
some seriously freaky shit.

370
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,390
Big boy.

371
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,790
You're not crying, are you?

372
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,290
- A little bit.
- Jesus christ.

373
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,790
May I have another glass of wine?

374
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,290
Hey, time to hang up
your drinking shoes, lady.

375
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,190
You love me, don't you, hank?

376
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,690
I've certainly grown very fond
of you.But I think that's --

377
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:32,390
let me guess.

378
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:36,190
It's a little early for
this particular discussion.

379
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,390
Something like that, yeah.

380
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:42,890
We'll probably never make it
to this particular discussion.

381
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:45,290
Why do you say that?

382
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:49,590
Well, when you've spent the
last five years loving a man

383
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,490
and wondering why he
doesn't love you back...

384
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,490
you tend to get a wee
bit cynical about things.

385
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,390
You stay right here...

386
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,190
and you hydrate.

387
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,290
I'll be right back.

388
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:27,390
What'd you say?

389
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,690
You need a double dose
of viagra to get wood,

390
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:32,490
and you wear a fanny
pack on the weekends.

391
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,090
Think you're pretty
clever, don't you, hank?

392
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,690
You want to fuck around, that's fine.

393
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,390
Fuck around all you
want, I'm no judge judy.

394
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,690
Just don't string a woman along for a
major chunk of her childbearing years.

395
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,290
That's just not cool.

396
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,990
Who are you
-- don quixote?

397
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,290
No, I'm not even don fuckin' knotts.

398
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,490
I'm just a big fan of
the lady in question.

399
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:54,190
That's incredibly noble, considering
how the lady in question talks about you.

400
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,990
I was curious, because despite
what you say, I do care about her.

401
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,790
So, I asked, "who is he?Is this
someone I need to worry about?

402
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,390
" You know what she said?"Him?

403
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,990
He's nobody, a loser,

404
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,590
someone to pass the time with
when I'm not in bed with you.

405
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,690
" So, maybe you're the one
who needs to be cut loose, pal.

406
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:21,390
You're very lucky, my friend.

407
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,890
And why is that?

408
00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:25,990
'Cause I promised someone
I'd be on my best behavior.

409
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,390
Fucking fucker!

410
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:29,990
Oh, my god!

411
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,290
What are you doing?

412
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:33,090
I'm glad we came.

413
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,390
That was fun.

414
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,590
You're funny.

415
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,490
There you go.

416
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,190
You're good, you're good.

417
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,690
Proud of me?

418
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,190
Almost never, but, yeah, I approve.

419
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,790
Oh, no, no, no, no.My
behavior -- me and my dong.

420
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,190
Oh, right.Um...

421
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,690
- ***
- good.

422
00:22:58,700 --> 00:23:01,090
- Did nothing.
- Congratulations.

423
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:02,490
You are proud of me.

424
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,490
Did you have a good night?

425
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:06,090
Yeah, I did.

426
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,990
For a radical environmentalist
such as yourself,

427
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,990
this whole evening must
have given you a clit-boner.

428
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,290
You're disgusting.

429
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:14,490
Hey!

430
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,990
See you next tuesday!

431
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,790
Fuck you.

432
00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:21,290
What is that?What are you doing?

433
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:25,490
Oh, he's just a classy
guy.He called me a cunt.

434
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,590
- This guy called you a cunt?
- ***

435
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,490
- I dealt with it.I dealt with it.
- It's okay, I just want to...

436
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:33,190
hey, excuse me.

437
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,990
- Good night.
- Okay.

438
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,990
Good night.

439
00:23:58,300 --> 00:23:59,990
Hey.

440
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,890
- mom
- I'm sorry.Go back to sleep.

441
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,190
- Mom...
- yeah?

442
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,090
Can I ask youmesothing?

443
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:11,390
Anything, my love.

444
00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:14,290
Do you love bill?

445
00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:18,190
yeah.

446
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,190
Yeah, I do.

447
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,190
Do you love dad?

448
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,990
Yes...

449
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,390
because we have you in common.

450
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,690
I mean...

451
00:24:29,700 --> 00:24:35,390
I don't love him in that
butterflies-in-the-tummy way anymore.I mean...

452
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,890
not in the way that we love
johnny depp, definitely not.

453
00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:41,290
Right.

454
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,490
Is dad a bad person?

455
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,590
No, not at all.

456
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,190
I mean, he does have a
habit of getting himself

457
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:53,290
and everyone else around him
into trouble sometimes, but...

458
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,090
bill is a good person, sweetie.

459
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:07,190
You know, he's kind, he's
smart, and he really...

460
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:10,290
thinks things through.

461
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,990
I love you.

462
00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,690
- Good night.
- Good night.

463
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,590
it's been a long time since someone
held my hair back as I puked.

464
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,990
It's been an honor and a privilege.

465
00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:45,690
Care to join me?

466
00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:49,390
Whew, still kind of
barfy.Get some sleep.

467
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,590
Hey...

468
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,690
thank you.

469
00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:56,090
It's what I do.

470
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,190
"B" to the "e" to the
"c" to the "c" to the "A.

471
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,290
" Hi, dad.

472
00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:16,790
What up, g?

473
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,490
I called because I had a
feeling you couldn't sleep.

474
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,290
Right as usual, my beautiful,
precocious daughter.

475
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:28,490
Remember what you used to do
for me when i couldn't sleep?

476
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,790
Dose you with opiates?

477
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,290
No.

478
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:35,390
You'd look at the ocean
and count the mermaids.

479
00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:38,390
I did do that.

480
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,190
I'm a better father than I thought.

481
00:26:42,700 --> 00:26:46,090
Maybe you should try
that, and it will help.

482
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,290
Yeah.

483
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,090
1...

484
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,590
2...

485
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,190
3...no, that's a sea lion.

486
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,890
4...

487
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,990
5...

488
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,390
6...no, that's a bum.

489
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,490
7...

490
00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:17,990
8...

491
00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:21,990
9...no, that's daryl hannah.

492
00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:25,390
10...

493
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:30,690
11...

494
00:27:33,100 --> 00:27:34,990
sync:YTET-addychristen
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-

495
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:40,890
http://subsbusters.blogspot.com