1
00:00:01,587 --> 00:00:03,255
- i am right in the middle of
a nasty divorce.
2
00:00:03,289 --> 00:00:05,757
- oh, you can play hard to get
all you like, runkle.
3
00:00:05,791 --> 00:00:08,960
But sue collini
always gets the weenie.
4
00:00:08,978 --> 00:00:10,128
- how's it going,
professor?
5
00:00:10,146 --> 00:00:11,730
- in a word?
awesome.
6
00:00:11,764 --> 00:00:13,982
- look, hank,
i know you're not exactly
7
00:00:14,016 --> 00:00:17,102
What anyone would call
an education professional.
8
00:00:17,136 --> 00:00:18,970
But my wife went out
on a limb for you.
9
00:00:18,988 --> 00:00:20,972
- [imitates popeye]
10
00:00:20,990 --> 00:00:22,140
What do you think of jackie?
11
00:00:22,241 --> 00:00:23,808
- you're old enough
to be her father.
12
00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:25,327
- you find me irresistible?
13
00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:27,612
- has a woman ever punched you
in the face?
14
00:00:27,646 --> 00:00:28,697
- you know what?
you should use me.
15
00:00:28,748 --> 00:00:30,615
- really?
- mm-hmm.
16
00:00:30,649 --> 00:00:32,501
This is where you work?
- you wanna come inside?
17
00:00:32,535 --> 00:00:33,702
- would that involve
seeing you naked?
18
00:00:33,753 --> 00:00:36,171
- oh, most definitely.
- i think not.
19
00:00:36,205 --> 00:00:37,923
In the interest
of student-teacher relations.
20
00:00:37,957 --> 00:00:40,625
- we're being all normal
and responsible, and--
21
00:00:40,659 --> 00:00:41,793
- what if in the process,
22
00:00:41,827 --> 00:00:43,094
We just kind of get over
each other?
23
00:00:43,129 --> 00:00:47,465
- what if you tell me
about our daughter?
24
00:00:47,499 --> 00:00:49,551
- who are you texting?
- chelsea.
25
00:00:49,602 --> 00:00:52,387
Tell her you're being
a total dick right now.
26
00:00:54,774 --> 00:00:56,507
I fucking hate you!
27
00:00:56,526 --> 00:00:59,561
- and i fucking hate you too,
you little shit!
28
00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:08,620
[queens of the stone age's you
got a killer scene there, man]
29
00:01:08,654 --> 00:01:14,576
? ?
30
00:01:14,627 --> 00:01:16,962
- ? don't wanna
love you no more ?
31
00:01:16,996 --> 00:01:20,165
? don't wanna love you less ?
32
00:01:20,199 --> 00:01:24,469
? i wanna be crushed
by your sweet caress ?
33
00:01:24,503 --> 00:01:26,588
? what's the fuckin'
difference ?
34
00:01:26,639 --> 00:01:29,374
? we all gonna die ?
35
00:01:29,392 --> 00:01:31,643
- no, no, no, no.
you don't have to do that.
36
00:01:31,677 --> 00:01:34,679
Not on my account.
37
00:01:34,713 --> 00:01:36,848
Oh, well you see
that is a prime example
38
00:01:36,882 --> 00:01:38,900
Of what's wrong with
the younger generation today.
39
00:01:38,935 --> 00:01:40,936
You leave nothing
to the imagination.
40
00:01:40,987 --> 00:01:43,104
So you've got yourself
some boobs.
41
00:01:43,155 --> 00:01:45,607
? ?
42
00:01:45,658 --> 00:01:48,109
Some nice, big,
round boobs.
43
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,661
? ?
44
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,580
Everybody's got 'em.
45
00:01:51,614 --> 00:01:53,615
You know,
nothing to get excited about.
46
00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:56,368
? ?
47
00:01:56,402 --> 00:01:58,169
You know, just...
48
00:01:58,204 --> 00:02:06,177
? ?
49
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,749
- hank?
50
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:13,635
Hank.
51
00:02:13,853 --> 00:02:16,271
Hank.
52
00:02:16,305 --> 00:02:19,024
Hank moody.
- yes, fraulein.
53
00:02:19,058 --> 00:02:21,192
- do you have anything
you'd care to add?
54
00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:22,611
- on the subject of?
55
00:02:22,645 --> 00:02:25,196
- on the subject of the subject
we were just discussing.
56
00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:27,432
- oh, that subject.
57
00:02:27,617 --> 00:02:30,935
Um, let me think.
58
00:02:30,953 --> 00:02:32,203
Not a thing. nope.
59
00:02:32,238 --> 00:02:33,989
Wait, no, there is something
i would like to say.
60
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,790
- excellent.
we're all ears.
61
00:02:35,825 --> 00:02:37,158
- do you think the ladies
have gone too far
62
00:02:37,209 --> 00:02:38,994
With the sex-positive
feminism?
63
00:02:39,045 --> 00:02:40,778
I mean, i know they all say
they're down
64
00:02:40,796 --> 00:02:44,332
With the pornography and
the shaved pudenda and whatnot,
65
00:02:44,383 --> 00:02:46,885
But do we really think that
this is the path to liberation?
66
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,054
Ezra pound.
what do you think?
67
00:02:49,088 --> 00:02:51,640
- i'm not sure this is
the proper forum
68
00:02:51,674 --> 00:02:53,008
For such a discussion, hank.
69
00:02:53,059 --> 00:02:54,893
- well, you asked me.
i'm just thinking out loud.
70
00:02:54,927 --> 00:02:56,794
Spitball.
- okay, everyone.
71
00:02:56,812 --> 00:02:58,396
That'll do it for today.
- already?
72
00:02:58,431 --> 00:02:59,564
- thanks for coming.
- geez. my lord.
73
00:02:59,598 --> 00:03:00,798
- yeah, see you all tonight.
74
00:03:00,816 --> 00:03:02,600
You too, hank.
correct?
75
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:04,769
- i'm sorry?
- tonight. my house.
76
00:03:04,854 --> 00:03:07,689
English department fall mixer.
ring any bells?
77
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:08,973
- not a one.
78
00:03:08,991 --> 00:03:10,575
- oh, it's just a little
get together we have
79
00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:12,661
At the start
of every school year.
80
00:03:12,695 --> 00:03:16,164
Faculty, grad students,
some wine, some cheese.
81
00:03:16,198 --> 00:03:18,950
- well, that sounds awesome
and i'm stoked,
82
00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:21,536
But alas, i've got plans
with the soul-sucking vampire
83
00:03:21,587 --> 00:03:23,705
I call my daughter tonight,
so i gotta take a rain check--
84
00:03:23,756 --> 00:03:25,340
- well no, chelsea's
already asked
85
00:03:25,374 --> 00:03:27,125
If becca can spend the night.
86
00:03:27,159 --> 00:03:28,659
- yes, but i think
she'll change her plans
87
00:03:28,678 --> 00:03:30,929
When she hears what
her old man's got on tap.
88
00:03:30,963 --> 00:03:32,514
Besides,
wine gives me a headache
89
00:03:32,548 --> 00:03:33,882
And cheese makes me fart,
a lot.
90
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:35,684
You don't want me
stinking up the place.
91
00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,435
- now what if i said
92
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:40,555
Your job depends on it,
hank?
93
00:03:43,559 --> 00:03:45,393
- are you sexually harassing me
right now?
94
00:03:45,444 --> 00:03:46,644
Because if you are,
95
00:03:46,678 --> 00:03:49,397
I think i'm gonna have
to report you.
96
00:03:49,448 --> 00:03:52,683
For giving me
a serious boner.
97
00:03:52,702 --> 00:03:55,286
- good to know.
see you at 7:00.
98
00:03:59,875 --> 00:04:01,793
- no means no, you know.
99
00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:04,796
[upbeat music]
100
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:12,837
? ?
101
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:47,738
- this man is ruining my life.
102
00:04:47,757 --> 00:04:50,258
- by making it
unbearably awesome.
103
00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:52,410
- sweetie, i'm not really sure
i understand
104
00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:53,628
What the problem is.
105
00:04:53,679 --> 00:04:55,130
- he's delusional.
106
00:04:55,181 --> 00:04:57,265
He thinks we're going to
hang out and bond or something.
107
00:04:57,299 --> 00:05:01,886
- okay, hand it over.
thank you.
108
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,438
You don't understand, woman.
i have a plan.
109
00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,056
- you do?
110
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:06,558
- yes, if we never leave
the house,
111
00:05:06,592 --> 00:05:08,426
Nothing bad can ever happen.
112
00:05:08,444 --> 00:05:10,695
- right, 'cause, like,
your parents never fuck you up.
113
00:05:10,729 --> 00:05:11,980
- no, you see,
you were supposed to find
114
00:05:12,031 --> 00:05:13,031
That last remark charming.
115
00:05:13,065 --> 00:05:15,200
[phone chimes]
- hold--
116
00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:18,286
- hello? this thing on?
117
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,071
- yeah, yeah, yeah,
hey, uh,
118
00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:23,408
I'm here, i just, um, my boss
is trying to get through.
119
00:05:23,442 --> 00:05:26,327
I'm--i'm late for a dinner
with him and some clients, so.
120
00:05:26,378 --> 00:05:27,745
- well, don't go.
just blow it off.
121
00:05:27,779 --> 00:05:30,165
- please, will you take care
of the becca thing, please?
122
00:05:30,216 --> 00:05:32,750
- yes. i will take care of it.
123
00:05:32,784 --> 00:05:34,135
- bye. bye.
124
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,421
- becca!
- yes, father?
125
00:05:36,505 --> 00:05:38,139
- don your best frock.
126
00:05:38,174 --> 00:05:40,842
The wine and cheese awaits.
127
00:05:43,462 --> 00:05:46,481
- you see that bathroom
over yonder?
128
00:05:46,515 --> 00:05:49,300
- once,
i took every crooked inch
129
00:05:49,318 --> 00:05:52,070
Jackie gleason
had to offer in that stall.
130
00:05:52,104 --> 00:05:55,156
Signed kristofferson
right here in this booth.
131
00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:59,410
Yeah, time there was
when i would get wet
132
00:05:59,445 --> 00:06:00,578
Off a great sign.
133
00:06:00,779 --> 00:06:02,313
Oh, that's right.
134
00:06:02,331 --> 00:06:06,034
I'm talking dripping,
fucking ganges wet.
135
00:06:06,085 --> 00:06:07,202
- [clears throat]
136
00:06:07,253 --> 00:06:08,369
Speaking of
the good old days--
137
00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:09,671
- hey, yeah.
sue collini?
138
00:06:09,705 --> 00:06:10,988
- over there, sir.
139
00:06:11,006 --> 00:06:13,708
- hey, springfield.
get your toned tush over here.
140
00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:16,344
- sorry i'm late.
141
00:06:16,378 --> 00:06:18,546
Some tarzana housewife paid a
grand to spend the day with me.
142
00:06:18,597 --> 00:06:20,098
She wanted to make out,
so i did her a solid
143
00:06:20,132 --> 00:06:22,934
And i ate that butterscotch
for, like, 45 minutes straight.
144
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:24,769
Mm-hmm.
- right, rick.
145
00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:28,139
This is my subordinate
and prospective boytoy,
146
00:06:28,173 --> 00:06:29,607
Charles w. runkle.
- pleasure.
147
00:06:29,642 --> 00:06:30,942
Sue and i used to
see each other, you know.
148
00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:32,227
Early '80s.
149
00:06:32,278 --> 00:06:35,730
- rick, in what universe
is fucking like chinchillas
150
00:06:35,781 --> 00:06:37,699
And blowing coke up
each other's asses
151
00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:39,734
"seeing each other"?
152
00:06:39,735 --> 00:06:41,286
- i'm a big fan
of your oeuvre, rick.
153
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,071
All of it.
154
00:06:43,122 --> 00:06:44,289
The music, the acting--
155
00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:45,874
- hey, i'm flattered.
156
00:06:45,908 --> 00:06:47,075
You know,
like i said on the phone,
157
00:06:47,126 --> 00:06:48,743
I mean, i'm not looking
for representation.
158
00:06:48,794 --> 00:06:50,995
- oh, bullshit.
159
00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:52,747
Housewives in tarzana?
160
00:06:52,798 --> 00:06:55,133
Rick, don't tell me
that you don't wanna
161
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:57,001
Rawdog the top shelf
like you used to
162
00:06:57,035 --> 00:06:58,836
In your prime, huh?
163
00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:01,172
- all due respect, sue,
life just isn't about the pussy.
164
00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:04,058
It's about finding your passion
and never letting go,
165
00:07:04,092 --> 00:07:06,144
And this man has done
just that.
166
00:07:06,178 --> 00:07:07,595
- quit licking his shaft.
167
00:07:07,646 --> 00:07:10,598
He's always been a prime cut
of usda beefcake,
168
00:07:10,649 --> 00:07:11,933
And he knows it.
169
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:14,152
- sure, the ladies love him.
170
00:07:14,186 --> 00:07:15,687
September 7, 2002,
171
00:07:15,721 --> 00:07:18,439
The best sex i ever had
with my wife.
172
00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:20,358
Rick springfield
at the universal amphitheater,
173
00:07:20,392 --> 00:07:23,561
Was like three solid hours
of foreplay, dude.
174
00:07:23,579 --> 00:07:26,564
Everything she wanted
to do with him in 1982
175
00:07:26,582 --> 00:07:28,950
But didn't know how,
she did with me repeatedly
176
00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:30,118
And i thank you, sir.
177
00:07:30,169 --> 00:07:31,569
- fat lot of good
that does me.
178
00:07:31,587 --> 00:07:33,371
- okay, runkle,
get to the point.
179
00:07:33,405 --> 00:07:35,072
- first,
we get you some indie cred.
180
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:39,010
let's find you your
wrestler, like mickey rourke.
181
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:41,796
Let's see you blow people away
with your serious side, huh?
182
00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:44,582
Get an oscar nom
for playing an addict,
183
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,050
A cripple, a retard,
whatever.
184
00:07:46,084 --> 00:07:48,419
Then you go into
every office in town
185
00:07:48,437 --> 00:07:49,754
And you hit 'em with
your passion project.
186
00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:51,639
That's how you get it done.
187
00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:53,474
And harry greenberg agency
actually has the mojo
188
00:07:53,525 --> 00:07:54,809
To make something
like that happen?
189
00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:57,729
- fuck no.
you supply the mojo.
190
00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,264
We take care
of everything else.
191
00:08:00,282 --> 00:08:03,434
- i like the sound of that.
192
00:08:03,452 --> 00:08:07,938
Church.
193
00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:09,574
- you're scaring me, sue.
194
00:08:09,608 --> 00:08:11,993
Does that mean you like that?
195
00:08:12,044 --> 00:08:14,212
Oh...
196
00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:16,414
[growls]
197
00:08:19,785 --> 00:08:21,586
Ahh.
198
00:08:30,262 --> 00:08:33,631
- finally.
god, what took you so long?
199
00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:34,799
What up, hank?
200
00:08:34,817 --> 00:08:36,100
- becca, this is
your last chance
201
00:08:36,134 --> 00:08:37,268
To change your mind,
come on.
202
00:08:37,302 --> 00:08:38,803
- just do me one favor.
203
00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:40,355
- anything, my churlish love.
204
00:08:40,406 --> 00:08:42,523
- try not to get
too hammered.
205
00:08:42,574 --> 00:08:45,309
Don't put daddy in a corner.
206
00:08:45,327 --> 00:08:47,111
- oh, hank.
you don't wanna park there.
207
00:08:47,145 --> 00:08:49,280
Dean hates it when
you block the entrance.
208
00:08:49,314 --> 00:08:51,199
- hmm, big date tonight?
209
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:53,117
- is it that obvious?
210
00:08:53,151 --> 00:08:55,453
- that dress could cure
cancer!
211
00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:56,871
- [laughs]
212
00:08:56,872 --> 00:08:59,007
- i think you should
fuck him.
213
00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:00,258
You know, if he agreed
to meet you
214
00:09:00,292 --> 00:09:02,326
At this sad assembly
of two-bit intellectuals,
215
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:03,711
He clearly digs the shit
out of you.
216
00:09:03,762 --> 00:09:07,215
- wow, you have the ability
to make a simple cocktail party
217
00:09:07,266 --> 00:09:09,550
Into the worst thing
that's ever happened to you.
218
00:09:09,601 --> 00:09:11,436
- it's a gift, really.
- there you are.
219
00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:12,937
Did you two come together?
220
00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:14,722
- no.
we just came in together.
221
00:09:14,773 --> 00:09:16,107
- oh, i see.
222
00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:17,975
- and i actually get
more bars outside, excuse me.
223
00:09:19,511 --> 00:09:21,178
- did you happen to see where
becca and chelsea got off to?
224
00:09:21,196 --> 00:09:23,347
- they're fine. they went
straight to chelsea's room.
225
00:09:23,365 --> 00:09:24,515
- oh.
- come in, come in.
226
00:09:24,533 --> 00:09:26,517
I have so many people
i want you to meet.
227
00:09:26,535 --> 00:09:28,286
- oh?
228
00:09:31,623 --> 00:09:34,242
- come on, baby.
celebrate with me.
229
00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:36,577
- don't baby me, jackass.
no.
230
00:09:36,628 --> 00:09:38,329
Fuck no.
i got a date.
231
00:09:38,363 --> 00:09:40,698
- well, drop the zero
and get with the hero.
232
00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:41,833
I signed a big fish today.
233
00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:43,718
- oh, well good for you.
234
00:09:43,752 --> 00:09:45,369
Maybe you can move
the fuck out now.
235
00:09:45,387 --> 00:09:48,639
- right. well.
force of habit, i guess.
236
00:09:48,674 --> 00:09:50,425
Every time i sign a client,
237
00:09:50,476 --> 00:09:52,042
I just can't help
but picture the two of us
238
00:09:52,061 --> 00:09:53,711
With a bottle of bubbly.
239
00:09:53,729 --> 00:09:55,379
- well, that was then,
charlie.
240
00:09:55,397 --> 00:09:58,983
- and this is now.
got it.
241
00:09:59,017 --> 00:10:02,019
Okay, well...
242
00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:03,271
Have a nice date.
243
00:10:03,405 --> 00:10:05,723
- yeah, thanks.
244
00:10:10,913 --> 00:10:13,230
[distant car alarm blaring]
245
00:10:13,248 --> 00:10:14,615
- runkle,
you were on fire today.
246
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:18,703
I mean, that was serious
swifty lazar shit.
247
00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:22,457
I've never been so proud
and so wet...
248
00:10:22,541 --> 00:10:24,909
At the same time.
249
00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:28,012
Come on.
250
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:36,471
- thank you.
251
00:10:36,522 --> 00:10:38,473
- how many jobs do you have,
lady?
252
00:10:38,524 --> 00:10:40,808
You got a paper route too?
253
00:10:40,859 --> 00:10:43,227
Fill this thing up.
scotch preferably.
254
00:10:43,261 --> 00:10:44,562
I'm coming off
of a lengthy conversation
255
00:10:44,596 --> 00:10:45,947
With a man
in a sweater vest.
256
00:10:45,981 --> 00:10:48,282
- dean koons keeps the good
stuff locked in his office.
257
00:10:48,317 --> 00:10:49,934
- which would be where,
exactly?
258
00:10:49,952 --> 00:10:51,235
- i can't tell you that.
259
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:53,771
People like you mess
with the master's shit.
260
00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:55,540
People like me
get blamed for it.
261
00:10:55,574 --> 00:10:57,208
- class warrior, are we?
262
00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:59,577
- just a girl saving for
a rainy day.
263
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:02,413
You know, the truth is
i'm a pretty shitty bartender.
264
00:11:02,447 --> 00:11:05,383
But i am
a kick ass stripper.
265
00:11:05,417 --> 00:11:07,635
This bod is the true gift
that god gave me.
266
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:09,337
- i agree, but i think you're
selling yourself short still.
267
00:11:09,388 --> 00:11:12,056
- what, i'm too smart
to be a stripper?
268
00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:13,424
- smart has nothing
to do with it.
269
00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:14,842
I'm just thinking
in practical terms.
270
00:11:14,893 --> 00:11:16,427
Down the road,
job opportunities
271
00:11:16,461 --> 00:11:18,763
Tend to dwindle for those
in the more naked professions,
272
00:11:18,797 --> 00:11:19,931
If you understand what
i'm saying.
273
00:11:19,965 --> 00:11:21,766
- mm.
274
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,967
- two empty glasses, jackie,
thank you.
275
00:11:22,985 --> 00:11:24,318
- mm-hmm.
- i'm going to offer our, uh,
276
00:11:24,353 --> 00:11:27,471
Visiting scholar from amherst
some of my '82 la tour.
277
00:11:27,489 --> 00:11:28,489
- ooh.
- hey.
278
00:11:28,524 --> 00:11:29,607
That's not cool,
dean koons.
279
00:11:29,641 --> 00:11:31,809
Segregating your guests
into two classes,
280
00:11:31,827 --> 00:11:33,861
Offering your good stuff
only to a select few.
281
00:11:33,912 --> 00:11:35,913
- well, when you get
your guggenheim,
282
00:11:35,948 --> 00:11:37,415
We can talk about that.
- oh.
283
00:11:37,449 --> 00:11:39,000
- in the meantime,
you enjoy that glass
284
00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:41,002
Of very middling cab.
285
00:11:41,036 --> 00:11:43,421
- asshole.
286
00:11:43,455 --> 00:11:46,707
[growling]
287
00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:48,209
[making explosion sounds]
288
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,994
- there you are.
- oh.
289
00:11:50,012 --> 00:11:52,346
- i see you found the toys
in the attic.
290
00:11:52,381 --> 00:11:54,832
- ah. what, are you running
a museum here on the side
291
00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:56,050
Or something?
292
00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,334
- oh, it's just
his little hobby.
293
00:11:57,352 --> 00:11:58,936
Bores the shit out of me,
actually.
294
00:11:58,971 --> 00:12:01,105
I'm quite relieved
to catch you here alone.
295
00:12:01,139 --> 00:12:03,140
- you don't care about
the snooping?
296
00:12:03,174 --> 00:12:04,976
- snoop all you want.
297
00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:07,445
My life's an open book.
sadly.
298
00:12:07,479 --> 00:12:10,281
Besides, becca must have
told you all about us by now.
299
00:12:10,315 --> 00:12:12,200
- no, she's not much one
for chatting.
300
00:12:12,234 --> 00:12:13,534
Texting, yes.
301
00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:15,236
Twittering, tweetering,
twatting,
302
00:12:15,287 --> 00:12:17,205
Staring solemnly
at the old man.
303
00:12:17,239 --> 00:12:18,539
- oh, please.
304
00:12:18,574 --> 00:12:20,374
You fathers have it easy.
305
00:12:20,409 --> 00:12:22,877
Most days, i can barely get
a civil word out of chelsea.
306
00:12:22,911 --> 00:12:24,879
At least becca still
talks about you
307
00:12:24,913 --> 00:12:26,797
With some sort of
twisted affection.
308
00:12:26,832 --> 00:12:29,867
- re-becca? my becca?
that doesn't sound like her.
309
00:12:29,885 --> 00:12:31,219
- no, it's true.
310
00:12:31,253 --> 00:12:32,536
We had an interesting discussion
the other day
311
00:12:32,554 --> 00:12:34,972
About the more scatological
elements in your work.
312
00:12:35,007 --> 00:12:36,307
And she knows quite a lot
about rabelais.
313
00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:37,892
- yes, that's me.
i taught her that shit.
314
00:12:37,926 --> 00:12:39,376
- yeah, i figured,
315
00:12:39,394 --> 00:12:40,678
When she told me
all about
316
00:12:40,712 --> 00:12:41,979
How you got your start
in new york
317
00:12:42,014 --> 00:12:43,931
And how you met her mother.
- no shit.
318
00:12:43,982 --> 00:12:45,900
- yeah, i mean, she seems
a little confused
319
00:12:46,101 --> 00:12:47,384
About the issue of whether
320
00:12:47,402 --> 00:12:49,320
You two are still together
or not.
321
00:12:49,354 --> 00:12:51,155
- [exhales]
aren't we all.
322
00:12:51,189 --> 00:12:54,075
- oh, well,
that's a shame.
323
00:12:54,109 --> 00:12:55,576
Gosh, i'd love
to fix you up sometime.
324
00:12:55,611 --> 00:12:58,579
- uh, i appreciate that,
but that's a fool's errand.
325
00:12:58,614 --> 00:13:00,414
- oh, really?
why is that?
326
00:13:00,449 --> 00:13:02,232
- well, it's my purgatory,
really.
327
00:13:02,251 --> 00:13:04,252
Dinner, drinks, whatever.
328
00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:05,703
Never really
all that interested,
329
00:13:05,737 --> 00:13:08,205
But i find myself telling her
how beautiful she is anyway.
330
00:13:08,239 --> 00:13:10,007
'cause it's true.
331
00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:11,709
All women are,
in one way or another.
332
00:13:11,743 --> 00:13:13,761
You know, there's always
something about
333
00:13:13,795 --> 00:13:15,429
Every damn one of you.
334
00:13:15,464 --> 00:13:18,683
There's a smile,
a curve, a secret.
335
00:13:18,717 --> 00:13:21,185
You ladies really are
the most amazing creatures.
336
00:13:21,219 --> 00:13:24,021
My life's work.
337
00:13:24,056 --> 00:13:25,773
But then there's
the morning after.
338
00:13:25,807 --> 00:13:27,141
The hangover,
339
00:13:27,192 --> 00:13:29,026
And the realization that
i'm not quite as available
340
00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:30,394
As i thought i was
the night before.
341
00:13:30,428 --> 00:13:33,197
And then she's gone.
342
00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:35,399
And i'm haunted by
yet another road not taken.
343
00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:38,786
- wow.
344
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:40,121
I'm impressed.
345
00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:42,239
You actually dropped the act
for a moment
346
00:13:42,273 --> 00:13:43,491
And said something real.
347
00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:44,775
- yes, i do that sometimes.
348
00:13:44,793 --> 00:13:45,793
But you never know
when it's coming.
349
00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:47,277
You gotta stay on your toes.
350
00:13:47,296 --> 00:13:49,446
I'm like a boxer that bobs
and waves like mohammed ali
351
00:13:49,414 --> 00:13:50,781
Or joe frazier
or sugar ray leonard.
352
00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:54,118
Basically, i'm just listing
boxers you might have--
353
00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:59,123
- oops.
354
00:13:59,141 --> 00:14:01,625
I'm sorry.
355
00:14:01,643 --> 00:14:04,812
- the party's downstairs,
isn't it?
356
00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:09,466
- wow.
- wow.
357
00:14:09,484 --> 00:14:12,069
- i think you might be
selling yourself a little short.
358
00:14:12,104 --> 00:14:15,022
With just the tiniest bit
of effort,
359
00:14:15,073 --> 00:14:18,308
You could've had someone
much younger
360
00:14:18,327 --> 00:14:20,310
And much hotter.
361
00:14:20,329 --> 00:14:23,781
But better luck next time,
teach.
362
00:14:26,084 --> 00:14:29,036
[piano quartet plays]
363
00:14:29,087 --> 00:14:33,040
? ?
364
00:14:33,091 --> 00:14:35,676
- what's the matter with you?
you look flushed.
365
00:14:35,711 --> 00:14:37,044
- well, my virtue
was just assailed.
366
00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:40,264
In a not entirely
unpleasant manner, but still.
367
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:42,166
Leaving so soon?
368
00:14:42,184 --> 00:14:43,500
- yeah.
369
00:14:43,518 --> 00:14:45,803
Girl can only take so much
humiliation in one night.
370
00:14:45,837 --> 00:14:48,022
- oh, the gentleman caller
never called, huh?
371
00:14:48,056 --> 00:14:50,507
- no, he never called.
and he never texted.
372
00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:52,393
And he made an actual plan
to meet me here.
373
00:14:52,444 --> 00:14:54,111
And, you know,
he seemed really into it
374
00:14:54,146 --> 00:14:55,396
On the first two dates.
375
00:14:55,447 --> 00:14:57,231
And then,
he just never showed.
376
00:14:57,282 --> 00:14:59,650
What--go ahead and explain that
to me, would you?
377
00:14:59,684 --> 00:15:01,202
Take a shot,
you said you would explain it
378
00:15:01,236 --> 00:15:03,287
And, and why?
379
00:15:03,321 --> 00:15:04,822
It's, like, so hard to make
a phone call?
380
00:15:04,856 --> 00:15:05,990
- you seem to forget that
381
00:15:06,024 --> 00:15:09,526
I'm not the man
who stood you up.
382
00:15:09,544 --> 00:15:12,747
Ah, here's where he keeps
the good stuff.
383
00:15:12,798 --> 00:15:14,031
- me!
384
00:15:14,049 --> 00:15:15,966
We were talking about me here.
385
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,134
- okay.
386
00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:19,387
I'm gonna say this once
and one time only,
387
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:21,639
So listen closely, okay?
388
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:23,924
Fuck the fireman.
389
00:15:23,975 --> 00:15:25,593
- if i recall,
that was the same advice
390
00:15:25,644 --> 00:15:26,761
You gave me earlier
in the evening.
391
00:15:26,812 --> 00:15:28,212
- totally different context.
392
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:30,881
- so that's it.
just fuck him.
393
00:15:30,899 --> 00:15:32,066
That's all you got.
394
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,018
I--i gotta be totally
laid back about this.
395
00:15:34,052 --> 00:15:35,385
I'm not even allowed
to be pissed off.
396
00:15:35,404 --> 00:15:36,737
- no, you get to be,
you get to be pissed off.
397
00:15:36,772 --> 00:15:38,773
But, uh, you know,
398
00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:41,108
Maybe if you just relaxed
for--whoa--
399
00:15:41,159 --> 00:15:43,611
Half a second,
and stopped looking so hard
400
00:15:43,662 --> 00:15:44,779
For the appropriate life mate,
401
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:47,531
Then you might wake up
one morning next to one.
402
00:15:47,565 --> 00:15:50,234
- right.
'cause it's just that easy.
403
00:15:50,252 --> 00:15:51,535
- i didn't say it was easy,
404
00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:52,903
But you've got a serious gam
up in the matter.
405
00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:56,406
- oh, yeah.
how, how so?
406
00:15:56,425 --> 00:15:59,210
- 'cause you're scary smart
and you're crazy beautiful.
407
00:15:59,244 --> 00:16:01,512
You're also incredibly sexual.
408
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:04,098
So there.
409
00:16:04,132 --> 00:16:05,966
- what the fuck
are you talking about?
410
00:16:06,017 --> 00:16:07,268
I'm a total nerd.
411
00:16:07,302 --> 00:16:08,886
- true that,
but you're a sexy nerd.
412
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,754
You know, some women,
they just shut off
413
00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:12,807
That part of themselves
and they expect prince charming
414
00:16:12,858 --> 00:16:15,059
To come along and pry open
their dusty old beavers
415
00:16:15,093 --> 00:16:16,861
With the jaws of life,
or some shit like that.
416
00:16:16,895 --> 00:16:18,529
Not you.
you're a good timer.
417
00:16:18,563 --> 00:16:19,947
- [laughs]
- yep.
418
00:16:19,981 --> 00:16:21,065
- mm-hmm.
419
00:16:21,099 --> 00:16:24,785
And you're just
saying this, right?
420
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:27,988
- which--
what, what do you mean?
421
00:16:28,039 --> 00:16:30,074
- well, you're saying
all this incredibly weird
422
00:16:30,108 --> 00:16:32,710
But incredibly sweet stuff
about me and--
423
00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:33,944
- ah.
424
00:16:33,962 --> 00:16:35,162
- but that's what you do,
right?
425
00:16:35,213 --> 00:16:36,413
That's what you do
in the situation when
426
00:16:36,447 --> 00:16:37,832
You're trying to make me
feel better.
427
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:41,135
- mm. yeah.
which is bad, why?
428
00:16:41,169 --> 00:16:42,753
- it's not necessarily
a bad thing.
429
00:16:42,787 --> 00:16:44,955
I just wonder
if you mean anything
430
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:46,456
That's coming out
of your mouth.
431
00:16:46,475 --> 00:16:47,624
- i don't just say shit.
432
00:16:47,642 --> 00:16:49,393
I mean,
i do talk a lot of shit,
433
00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:53,681
But i generally mean what i say
and i say what i mean.
434
00:16:53,732 --> 00:16:55,432
- mm-hmm.
435
00:16:55,466 --> 00:16:59,270
So you see me
as a viable candidate?
436
00:16:59,304 --> 00:17:00,804
- depends on what
you're running for.
437
00:17:00,822 --> 00:17:04,241
- dick, you know what i mean.
438
00:17:04,276 --> 00:17:06,694
- look, if--if my love life
weren't as complicated
439
00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:09,413
As something that is...
440
00:17:09,447 --> 00:17:11,315
Really complicated
that i can't think of right now,
441
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,534
I would totally check your teeth
and take you out for a ride.
442
00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:16,370
- god, i hate you!
443
00:17:16,421 --> 00:17:19,874
- what, you're a strange bird.
why are you hating on me?
444
00:17:19,925 --> 00:17:22,042
- 'cause i really thought you
were gonna kiss me just then.
445
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:25,662
Oh. that is weird.
that is very weird.
446
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,881
- why?
447
00:17:26,932 --> 00:17:28,883
- 'cause i was thinking
the exact same thing.
448
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:30,801
- really?
- well, not exactly.
449
00:17:30,835 --> 00:17:31,886
I was thinking about
what it might be like
450
00:17:31,937 --> 00:17:33,804
To go down on you
for the first time.
451
00:17:33,838 --> 00:17:34,972
It's kind of the same thing,
isn't it?
452
00:17:35,006 --> 00:17:37,308
- you're such an asshole.
453
00:17:37,342 --> 00:17:38,475
- ? boys are boys ?
454
00:17:38,509 --> 00:17:41,395
? and girls are joys ?
455
00:17:41,446 --> 00:17:45,449
? to you and me
they're more than toys ?
456
00:17:45,483 --> 00:17:47,651
? gonna find one,
she won't be lonely ?
457
00:17:47,685 --> 00:17:49,954
? she'll be mine,
mine and mine only ?
458
00:17:49,988 --> 00:17:53,741
? and when i do
it will be all right ?
459
00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:55,025
? wee-hoo ?
460
00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:58,746
- do you feel it yet?
461
00:17:58,797 --> 00:18:00,697
- nope.
462
00:18:00,715 --> 00:18:02,132
Is that normal?
463
00:18:02,167 --> 00:18:03,533
- totally.
464
00:18:03,552 --> 00:18:05,836
Mushrooms take a while
to hit.
465
00:18:08,206 --> 00:18:11,725
What's the craziest thing
you've ever done?
466
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,177
Sexually.
467
00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:16,397
- let's put it this way.
468
00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:17,982
My father would be thrilled
469
00:18:18,016 --> 00:18:22,186
By my lack of experience
in the area.
470
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:25,689
- what about blow jobs?
471
00:18:25,607 --> 00:18:27,741
- i touched one.
472
00:18:27,776 --> 00:18:29,326
Kind of freaked me out
how hard it got.
473
00:18:29,361 --> 00:18:30,727
- hmm.
474
00:18:30,745 --> 00:18:32,196
- you?
475
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:34,865
- a bunch of times.
it's fun.
476
00:18:34,899 --> 00:18:38,285
- weren't you scared?
477
00:18:38,336 --> 00:18:40,337
- sure. at first.
478
00:18:40,372 --> 00:18:42,172
But then you realize
how much power you have
479
00:18:42,207 --> 00:18:44,625
Over guys,
and it's kind of exciting.
480
00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:47,928
- i'm sure
i'd do something wrong.
481
00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:49,713
- it's not like
you're gonna break it.
482
00:18:49,747 --> 00:18:52,433
I mean, as long as
you're careful with your teeth
483
00:18:52,467 --> 00:18:54,935
And you remember
to incorporate the balls,
484
00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,086
You can't fuck it up
too bad.
485
00:18:56,104 --> 00:18:58,138
Ask any guy,
he'll tell you.
486
00:18:58,189 --> 00:19:00,691
- okay. good to know.
487
00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:03,760
- don't worry.
we'll get you laid this year.
488
00:19:03,778 --> 00:19:05,863
- no rush.
489
00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:07,264
Sometimes i think
i'd be happy
490
00:19:07,282 --> 00:19:10,117
To stay a virgin forever.
491
00:19:10,151 --> 00:19:11,869
Seems like
once you get laid--
492
00:19:11,903 --> 00:19:15,122
- your whole life
basically turns to shit.
493
00:19:15,156 --> 00:19:16,957
I've heard that one before.
494
00:19:16,992 --> 00:19:18,242
Come on, becky.
you're slipping.
495
00:19:18,276 --> 00:19:19,960
I've done a lot of work
to get you out of
496
00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:23,047
That gloomy fuckin' head
of yours.
497
00:19:23,081 --> 00:19:25,165
- think about it.
498
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:27,251
If my mother and father
hadn't been so quick
499
00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:30,838
To fuck each other,
i wouldn't be here right now.
500
00:19:30,889 --> 00:19:32,556
And if i wasn't here
right now,
501
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,091
I think they'd be
a lot happier.
502
00:19:34,125 --> 00:19:36,727
Especially my father.
503
00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:38,128
- that's really shitty
504
00:19:38,146 --> 00:19:40,931
That he makes you
feel that way, becca.
505
00:19:40,965 --> 00:19:45,853
- he doesn't.
it's me.
506
00:19:45,904 --> 00:19:47,905
[laughs]
507
00:19:47,939 --> 00:19:50,074
I just see things.
508
00:19:50,108 --> 00:19:52,743
[laughs hysterically]
509
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:54,495
Is this it?
510
00:19:54,529 --> 00:19:55,812
[laughter continues]
- yep.
511
00:19:55,830 --> 00:20:01,818
[both laughing]
512
00:20:01,836 --> 00:20:04,204
- oh, wow.
513
00:20:04,255 --> 00:20:05,822
- i know, right?
514
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,458
- no, not that.
- no?
515
00:20:07,492 --> 00:20:09,793
- no. i'm such a slut.
516
00:20:09,827 --> 00:20:12,212
- in the best way possible.
517
00:20:12,263 --> 00:20:14,715
- you're not, like, gonna lose
respect for me now, are you?
518
00:20:14,766 --> 00:20:17,801
- 8% at the most.
- [giggles]
519
00:20:17,835 --> 00:20:19,636
- hold on.
thought i heard somebody.
520
00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:21,138
- shit.
521
00:20:21,172 --> 00:20:23,023
No--ah!
- shit.
522
00:20:23,058 --> 00:20:25,809
Go, go.
523
00:20:25,843 --> 00:20:28,512
- ? won't you treat me nice ?
524
00:20:28,530 --> 00:20:33,150
? hey, my peach,
blow on my dice ?
525
00:20:33,184 --> 00:20:35,652
? gonna swing on my swing ?
526
00:20:35,686 --> 00:20:36,737
Ah.
527
00:20:36,788 --> 00:20:38,572
? don't you dare
treat me nice ?
528
00:20:38,623 --> 00:20:41,408
? 'cause i'm a child for you ?
529
00:20:41,459 --> 00:20:45,695
? baby, i'm wild for you ?
530
00:20:45,714 --> 00:20:46,747
? and-- ?
531
00:20:46,798 --> 00:20:49,750
[cell phone plays disco tune]
532
00:20:49,801 --> 00:20:54,138
? ?
533
00:20:54,172 --> 00:20:56,039
- okay, you caught me.
- oh, jesus!
534
00:20:56,057 --> 00:20:57,725
- watch that stuff. here,
let me take that off your hands.
535
00:20:57,759 --> 00:20:59,643
[talking at once]
536
00:20:59,677 --> 00:21:01,845
- moody, for christ's sake.
don't handle me.
537
00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:03,731
Please don't handle me.
538
00:21:03,765 --> 00:21:05,048
What are you doing
in my private office?
539
00:21:05,066 --> 00:21:06,150
- came in here
to make a phone call.
540
00:21:06,184 --> 00:21:08,185
- that was--
that was your cell phone?
541
00:21:08,219 --> 00:21:10,354
- yeah.
i like me a '70s groove.
542
00:21:10,388 --> 00:21:12,156
What about that ditty
you were singing
543
00:21:12,190 --> 00:21:13,323
When you came in here?
544
00:21:13,358 --> 00:21:15,943
May i inquire about that?
545
00:21:15,994 --> 00:21:17,227
- that was an obscure classic.
546
00:21:17,245 --> 00:21:18,862
- was it?
- yeah, yeah.
547
00:21:18,896 --> 00:21:21,698
- is it, uh, some ditty
of your own invention, perhaps?
548
00:21:21,732 --> 00:21:24,284
- no, it's right out
of the great american songbook,
549
00:21:24,335 --> 00:21:25,619
For your information.
550
00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:26,954
If you had a little more
culture, you'd understand that.
551
00:21:27,005 --> 00:21:28,738
- maybe something you
would have sung a capella
552
00:21:28,757 --> 00:21:30,457
With the whiff n' poofs?
553
00:21:30,508 --> 00:21:33,377
Gay man's health choir,
or something like that?
554
00:21:33,411 --> 00:21:35,379
- hey, you two.
party's in there.
555
00:21:35,463 --> 00:21:37,080
- ah. yeah.
556
00:21:37,098 --> 00:21:38,298
- you're not having
any of my lowland malt.
557
00:21:38,349 --> 00:21:39,633
- i wouldn't dream of it
558
00:21:39,684 --> 00:21:41,418
But i would like some privacy
to make a phone call.
559
00:21:41,436 --> 00:21:42,553
- no.
- no?
560
00:21:42,587 --> 00:21:44,588
- no.
- what do you mean, no?
561
00:21:44,606 --> 00:21:45,773
That's not very polite.
562
00:21:45,807 --> 00:21:48,776
- well, my house,
my rules.
563
00:21:52,397 --> 00:21:54,148
- what's gotten into him?
564
00:21:54,199 --> 00:21:55,449
- is there another way
in here?
565
00:21:55,483 --> 00:21:56,900
- why do you want
more privacy?
566
00:21:56,934 --> 00:21:58,786
- well, i just--
- listen, hank.
567
00:21:58,820 --> 00:22:01,738
About earlier, can we just
forget what happened?
568
00:22:01,772 --> 00:22:05,209
- oh, well, we needn't
ever speak of it again.
569
00:22:05,243 --> 00:22:07,244
But one does not very easily
forget the kiss
570
00:22:07,278 --> 00:22:08,996
Of a beautiful woman.
571
00:22:09,047 --> 00:22:11,215
That's right. i said it.
i meant it.
572
00:22:11,249 --> 00:22:13,283
I'm here to represent it.
573
00:22:13,301 --> 00:22:17,337
I gotta run 'cause that cheese
is working on me.
574
00:22:17,388 --> 00:22:21,141
[elevator dings]
575
00:22:23,294 --> 00:22:25,762
- ah.
576
00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:27,181
Mm.
577
00:22:27,232 --> 00:22:29,983
[chuckles]
- oh, hi.
578
00:22:30,018 --> 00:22:32,519
I was looking for charlie.
579
00:22:32,570 --> 00:22:33,570
- he's gone home for the day.
580
00:22:33,605 --> 00:22:36,240
- oh. you must be sue.
581
00:22:36,274 --> 00:22:38,642
- yes. sue collini.
582
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:40,694
- marcy, the ex.
583
00:22:40,745 --> 00:22:42,946
- ah.
- he's told me all about you.
584
00:22:43,031 --> 00:22:47,034
- oh.
585
00:22:46,918 --> 00:22:49,536
- okay, well,
if you just tell him
586
00:22:49,587 --> 00:22:50,704
That i was looking for him,
587
00:22:50,705 --> 00:22:52,422
I was gonna give him
this bottle of--
588
00:22:52,457 --> 00:22:53,590
- [coughs]
589
00:22:53,625 --> 00:22:56,844
- [coughs]
590
00:22:56,878 --> 00:22:59,713
Smoker's cough.
love those more menthols.
591
00:22:59,797 --> 00:23:03,684
- charlie.
592
00:23:03,718 --> 00:23:05,135
Charlie runkle.
593
00:23:05,169 --> 00:23:06,720
- yes.
594
00:23:06,771 --> 00:23:07,938
- are you inside that woman?
595
00:23:07,972 --> 00:23:09,273
- i can explain.
596
00:23:09,307 --> 00:23:11,558
- oh, jesus christ.
- marcy.
597
00:23:11,609 --> 00:23:13,360
- marcy, it--
598
00:23:13,394 --> 00:23:15,779
- it was nice to meet you,
sue.
599
00:23:15,647 --> 00:23:18,565
- marcy, marcy, don't go.
marcy.
600
00:23:18,616 --> 00:23:20,817
- oh, god, okay.
601
00:23:20,851 --> 00:23:24,488
Let's just keep my ass
closer to the ground, please.
602
00:23:24,522 --> 00:23:26,790
- there you go.
- okay.
603
00:23:26,824 --> 00:23:30,360
Remind me to never
take your advice again.
604
00:23:30,378 --> 00:23:32,212
- you're gonna thank me when
you're living in the suburbs
605
00:23:32,247 --> 00:23:33,580
With that house
606
00:23:33,631 --> 00:23:35,999
With the attached garage
of your dreams.
607
00:23:36,033 --> 00:23:37,968
- [chuckles]
608
00:23:38,002 --> 00:23:39,469
- would you like a smoke?
609
00:23:39,504 --> 00:23:41,471
- no, i've broken
quite enough rules
610
00:23:41,506 --> 00:23:43,557
For one night, thank you.
611
00:23:43,591 --> 00:23:45,008
- speaking of which, uh,
612
00:23:45,042 --> 00:23:48,545
Probably wasn't cool of me
to take advantage of you
613
00:23:48,563 --> 00:23:50,647
In your moment of weakness.
614
00:23:50,682 --> 00:23:51,732
- no, it wasn't.
615
00:23:51,766 --> 00:23:54,434
But in fairness, uh,
all of my moments
616
00:23:54,485 --> 00:23:56,069
Are moments of weakness now.
617
00:23:56,104 --> 00:23:57,404
- mm.
618
00:23:57,438 --> 00:24:02,025
- so what's the matter
with me anyway?
619
00:24:02,059 --> 00:24:04,244
- well, now that i've had
an up close and personal view,
620
00:24:04,279 --> 00:24:08,031
I would have
to say nothing.
621
00:24:08,065 --> 00:24:09,449
- oh, come on,
that old chestnut?
622
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:10,918
- mm?
623
00:24:10,952 --> 00:24:14,070
- it's not me, i just haven't
found the right guy?
624
00:24:14,088 --> 00:24:15,872
Oh, my god.
- what?
625
00:24:15,906 --> 00:24:17,791
- shit, he's here.
- him who?
626
00:24:17,842 --> 00:24:19,075
- the fire dude.
627
00:24:19,093 --> 00:24:21,345
- wow, the balls on that guy,
three hours late.
628
00:24:21,379 --> 00:24:23,347
Then again, you just had
another dude inside you
629
00:24:23,214 --> 00:24:24,548
Ten minutes ago.
630
00:24:24,582 --> 00:24:26,416
- jill.
- hey, ross.
631
00:24:26,434 --> 00:24:28,936
- hey.
- you made it.
632
00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,687
- yeah, you must really
hate me right now.
633
00:24:30,722 --> 00:24:32,439
- she does.
634
00:24:32,473 --> 00:24:35,559
- um, yeah.
that's not a lie.
635
00:24:35,593 --> 00:24:37,144
I, um--
[clears throat]
636
00:24:37,195 --> 00:24:38,528
This is--
637
00:24:38,563 --> 00:24:41,531
- uh, this is dr. henry moody.
i'm her thesis advisor.
638
00:24:41,566 --> 00:24:42,899
It's nice to meet you.
639
00:24:42,933 --> 00:24:44,434
I was beginning to think
that jill made you up,
640
00:24:44,452 --> 00:24:46,486
That you were a figment
of her imagination.
641
00:24:46,537 --> 00:24:48,772
- well, i'm hoping
you'll give me a chance
642
00:24:48,790 --> 00:24:51,074
To explain, you know,
unless i'm too late.
643
00:24:51,108 --> 00:24:53,877
Maybe i've--
maybe i missed my chance.
644
00:24:53,911 --> 00:24:55,462
- well, normally
she's a real stickler
645
00:24:55,496 --> 00:24:56,946
For verities
and balderdash,
646
00:24:56,965 --> 00:24:58,665
But if you were out
saving lives,
647
00:24:58,716 --> 00:25:00,250
I think an exception
can be made
648
00:25:00,284 --> 00:25:03,053
For a real life fire dude.
don't you think?
649
00:25:03,087 --> 00:25:05,088
What were you just saying,
you want another fucking drink?
650
00:25:05,173 --> 00:25:07,057
- yes.
- just now. you were, right?
651
00:25:07,091 --> 00:25:09,959
- i was.
i--i need another fucking drink.
652
00:25:09,978 --> 00:25:12,145
- yeah.
and spring for the good stuff.
653
00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:14,464
Get the top shelf.
don't be cheap.
654
00:25:14,482 --> 00:25:15,965
- see you in class,
professor.
655
00:25:15,984 --> 00:25:18,735
- mm-hmm.
656
00:25:18,770 --> 00:25:20,136
- [giggling]
657
00:25:20,154 --> 00:25:21,304
There's my dad.
658
00:25:21,322 --> 00:25:23,807
- hey.
what have you two been up to?
659
00:25:23,825 --> 00:25:25,475
Late night swim,
midnight tennis match?
660
00:25:25,493 --> 00:25:29,112
- we, um, just walked down
to campus to get some pizza.
661
00:25:29,146 --> 00:25:31,248
- pizza?
662
00:25:31,282 --> 00:25:35,118
- yes, pizza.
- hmm.
663
00:25:35,152 --> 00:25:36,986
Come closer.
- why?
664
00:25:37,005 --> 00:25:39,989
- i want to smell you.
665
00:25:40,008 --> 00:25:45,512
[sniffing]
666
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:48,131
You smell like pizza.
667
00:25:48,165 --> 00:25:50,767
- be careful,
don't get too close.
668
00:25:50,802 --> 00:25:52,386
I feel a burp coming on.
669
00:25:52,437 --> 00:25:55,171
- you wouldn't.
- i would.
670
00:25:55,139 --> 00:25:58,358
And remember, sometimes burps
smell worse than farts.
671
00:25:58,393 --> 00:25:59,643
- is that a threat?
672
00:25:59,677 --> 00:26:01,344
- you guys are so gross.
673
00:26:01,362 --> 00:26:03,063
- what, there's no bodily
functions at the deanery?
674
00:26:03,114 --> 00:26:04,514
Just catered affairs?
675
00:26:04,532 --> 00:26:07,016
- [laughs]
676
00:26:07,035 --> 00:26:10,320
Hey, dad, don't pick me up
till noon tomorrow, okay?
677
00:26:10,354 --> 00:26:11,905
- okay, sweetie.
678
00:26:11,956 --> 00:26:16,743
- [laughs]
679
00:26:16,794 --> 00:26:20,247
- very cheerful.
very cheerful.
680
00:26:21,499 --> 00:26:22,749
- ? shadows are falling ?
681
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,970
- one night, felix.
that's it. all right?
682
00:26:27,004 --> 00:26:28,972
- understood.
683
00:26:29,006 --> 00:26:30,340
- i just,
i can't go back there tonight.
684
00:26:30,374 --> 00:26:33,226
I can't face her.
not after this humiliation.
685
00:26:33,261 --> 00:26:34,878
- remind me again
how this humiliation
686
00:26:34,896 --> 00:26:36,980
Is different
from all the others.
687
00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:39,649
I'm gonna need some eggs
benedict tomorrow, blue man.
688
00:26:39,684 --> 00:26:40,684
- that i can do.
689
00:26:40,718 --> 00:26:42,736
What i cannot do
is resist the allure
690
00:26:42,770 --> 00:26:44,721
Of a powerful woman.
691
00:26:44,739 --> 00:26:47,891
- so we're 100% sure
she's 100% woman, right?
692
00:26:47,909 --> 00:26:51,027
The balls of steel thing
is just metaphorical?
693
00:26:51,061 --> 00:26:54,564
- you know
what did the trick, hank?
694
00:26:54,582 --> 00:26:57,233
What set me over the edge
after weeks of resisting,
695
00:26:57,251 --> 00:26:59,619
One tiny little compliment
about my agenting.
696
00:26:59,670 --> 00:27:01,204
That's it.
697
00:27:01,238 --> 00:27:02,456
That's all it takes
to make a man come across.
698
00:27:02,507 --> 00:27:04,791
They are not
complicated creatures.
699
00:27:04,842 --> 00:27:06,543
- don't be so hard
on yourself.
700
00:27:06,577 --> 00:27:09,412
You were sexually
harassed tonight.
701
00:27:09,430 --> 00:27:11,348
As was i.
702
00:27:11,382 --> 00:27:14,101
No man can withstand
that kind of pressure.
703
00:27:14,135 --> 00:27:15,268
- yeah, but do you know
where i'd be
704
00:27:15,303 --> 00:27:16,553
If i'd been just
a tiny bit stronger?
705
00:27:16,587 --> 00:27:19,272
Back in the promised land.
706
00:27:19,307 --> 00:27:20,423
The whole package, man.
707
00:27:20,441 --> 00:27:22,309
My own house,
my own bed,
708
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,695
My own wife.
709
00:27:25,730 --> 00:27:28,615
- next year,
my hebrew friend.
710
00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:30,934
Next year in jerusalem.
711
00:27:30,952 --> 00:27:34,488
- ? it's not dark yet ?
712
00:27:34,539 --> 00:27:36,039
? but it's getting there ?
713
00:27:36,073 --> 00:27:39,139
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