1
00:00:07,803 --> 00:00:09,981
Previously on Californication.

2
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:12,794
- My name's Hank.
- I know.

3
00:00:13,852 --> 00:00:16,385
This is Mia, Bill's daughter.
And this is Hank.

4
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,808
- She's 16.
- 16.

5
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:21,261
- Need to tell you something.
- Ok.

6
00:00:21,514 --> 00:00:22,966
it's not a memoir.

7
00:00:22,988 --> 00:00:25,451
It's a written account of my sexual
relationship with you.

8
00:00:25,472 --> 00:00:27,472
Written by me, as a fucking novel.

9
00:00:27,478 --> 00:00:31,090
The publishing world knows you as
this brilliant trainwreck.

10
00:00:31,111 --> 00:00:33,111
Let everyone else see.

11
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:36,273
Abby here is the best there is at defending
the unjustly accused.

12
00:00:36,279 --> 00:00:38,141
- Hank Moody?
- Fuck. What now?

13
00:00:38,147 --> 00:00:40,147
You've been charged with statutory rape.

14
00:00:40,601 --> 00:00:42,259
I'm not going to sleep with you.

15
00:00:42,373 --> 00:00:43,919
- Hank.
- Mia.

16
00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:46,959
- Ok.
- Sasha Bingham is America's sweetheart.

17
00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:49,275
How about you rewrite the script
that I loathe?

18
00:00:50,254 --> 00:00:51,282
Let me handle this.

19
00:00:51,288 --> 00:00:53,350
You convince your client
to take this job,

20
00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:54,969
and you can have your old job back.

21
00:00:54,987 --> 00:00:58,461
When you had some notes...
you really had some fucking notes.

22
00:00:59,229 --> 00:01:01,329
How was it like? The punch.

23
00:01:01,430 --> 00:01:04,353
There's only one way to find out.
You wanna give it a shot?

24
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,659
I couldn't sleep last night.
My mind was racing and that couch

25
00:02:08,675 --> 00:02:12,316
of yours is no fucking help, whatsoever.
it's like a medieval fucking torture device.

26
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:15,592
- I was touching your penis, Hank.
- I know, Marce.

27
00:02:15,608 --> 00:02:17,671
Felt good too,
you give a nice tugjob.

28
00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:21,237
She does, doesn't she?
When she's motivated.

29
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:23,225
It's a lost art really.

30
00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:26,708
Oh shit, I think I'm gonna puke!
Did you guys fuck?

31
00:02:26,740 --> 00:02:28,087
- Gross!
- Gross!

32
00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:30,749
Hey! What do you mean gross?

33
00:02:30,763 --> 00:02:34,116
Fuck you you fucking pedophile,
whats so gross about fucking me?

34
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:37,489
Nothing, Marce. You know I'd throw
a shot into you. Anytime.

35
00:02:37,686 --> 00:02:40,217
- Oh Christ, make it stop.
- That's it!

36
00:02:40,302 --> 00:02:42,662
All you do is mope around the house
all day in your underwear.

37
00:02:42,678 --> 00:02:45,420
You're on notice. Consider you
ass kicked to the curb.

38
00:02:45,447 --> 00:02:48,891
Marce, I got no place to go.
Karen won't have me, Becca won't have me,

39
00:02:48,906 --> 00:02:51,089
The world thinks I am this degenerate
scumbag.

40
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:53,387
I am out on bail second time
this week.

41
00:02:53,562 --> 00:02:56,717
You are my two and only friends left
in the world.

42
00:02:57,555 --> 00:02:58,673
C'mon.

43
00:02:59,173 --> 00:03:00,320
Love me.

44
00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:04,233
- Hank needs some sugar.
- God...

45
00:03:19,335 --> 00:03:21,109
I'm game if you guys are.

46
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,797
Fucking animals!

47
00:03:23,008 --> 00:03:26,646
Damn, would it kill you
to put some goddamn clothes on!

48
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:30,664
So I like to sleep in the raw now big whoop,
what do you care?

49
00:03:31,821 --> 00:03:33,921
Get a load of Florence Olivier.

50
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:38,832
- I don't look that bad, do I?
- No way, Charlie, no. You look good.

51
00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:42,058
Like a baby.
Like a big sexy baby.

52
00:03:42,059 --> 00:03:43,258
Thank you.

53
00:04:32,202 --> 00:04:34,202
- Good luck today, buddy.
- Thank you.

54
00:04:35,101 --> 00:04:38,341
- Who knows maybe get some writing done.
- Fuck you.

55
00:04:40,579 --> 00:04:42,579
Love you too.

56
00:04:45,301 --> 00:04:48,822
Hello, old friend.
You're looking quite well.

57
00:04:56,512 --> 00:04:57,762
Much better.

58
00:05:06,485 --> 00:05:08,036
C'mon.

59
00:05:11,986 --> 00:05:13,682
Yeah, I'm on my way.. Uh-huh.

60
00:05:18,126 --> 00:05:21,248
Just picking up old
blackey here. Yeah.

61
00:05:21,679 --> 00:05:24,004
- Me? Oh I'm..I'm OK.
- Ok.

62
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,831
As good as can be expected under
the circumstances, and you?

63
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,788
- I was gonna check out the...
- Excellent! How about Becca?

64
00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:32,658
Cool! Glad to hear that.
Give her a kiss from me.

65
00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:35,166
Hey, you wouldn't happen to have any
jumper cables, would ya?

66
00:05:35,288 --> 00:05:38,432
No, I get it. Just keep on walking.
I know, I ruined your life and all

67
00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:40,330
and I couldn't be more sorry
about it, but...

68
00:05:40,366 --> 00:05:42,696
I gotta get across town
to my attorney's office

69
00:05:42,732 --> 00:05:45,146
where lateness is frowned upon.

70
00:05:53,301 --> 00:05:54,923
I caught that?

71
00:05:54,993 --> 00:05:58,043
You wouldn't have looked if you didn't care.
You should care, you know.

72
00:05:58,563 --> 00:06:01,669
Bleeding here
feeling a little faint.

73
00:06:02,336 --> 00:06:06,040
Look, I don't hope to get back
into your good graces anytime soon.

74
00:06:06,787 --> 00:06:08,154
Ok, ever.

75
00:06:09,255 --> 00:06:12,201
I just hope that maybe one day I can sit down
across from you look you in the eye

76
00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:14,162
and talk to you and explain
to you what happened.

77
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:17,560
Until then, I'll settle for seeing
our daughter who I miss dearly.

78
00:06:18,568 --> 00:06:21,816
She still has a father, you know?
Even if her mother hates his guts.

79
00:06:22,055 --> 00:06:26,119
Yeah. Well, what happens if she
hates your guts too?

80
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:49,960
Hey you, lady lawyer.

81
00:06:50,726 --> 00:06:52,554
- Where you going?
- I have a meeting.

82
00:06:52,773 --> 00:06:54,685
- I thought we had a meeting.
- We did.

83
00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:57,903
But you're 45 minutes late.
So I'm moving on to my next meeting.

84
00:06:58,066 --> 00:06:59,649
- Fuck fuck..Alright.
- So much late. And rude.

85
00:06:59,674 --> 00:07:01,068
- Ok.
- And inconsiderate of other peoples' time.

86
00:07:01,076 --> 00:07:02,663
- I'm sorry.
- No, don't be. It's your life.

87
00:07:02,665 --> 00:07:03,958
I was just..
I had this thing with my family.

88
00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:05,107
Three years, Hank.

89
00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:07,087
What? What.. Three years what?

90
00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:09,807
That's the maximum sentence
for unlawful sexual intercourse.

91
00:07:09,808 --> 00:07:12,148
Three years... state prison.

92
00:07:12,149 --> 00:07:16,017
Yes, but I thought we were all going ho
about making sure it dint go down that way.

93
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,543
Well that's really my plan,

94
00:07:17,544 --> 00:07:21,240
because I am a cocky fucking attorney
and this is a great case for me.

95
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,393
But if you insist upon dicking around
and wasting my time,

96
00:07:23,394 --> 00:07:26,122
I'll be happy to see you rot in jail.
What the fuck do I care?

97
00:07:26,123 --> 00:07:29,011
Here's another entitled smartass who thinks
it's OK to fuck a teenager.

98
00:07:29,012 --> 00:07:31,926
Ok. No no, I don't think it's OK.
I think it's wrong.

99
00:07:31,927 --> 00:07:33,033
Sick and wrong.

100
00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:34,951
And yet you fucked a teenager.

101
00:07:34,952 --> 00:07:36,498
C'mon, I thought we covered this.

102
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:38,044
I didn't know how old she was,
She set me up.

103
00:07:38,045 --> 00:07:41,664
Ok. It doesn't matter. The DA is looking
to make an example of you.

104
00:07:41,665 --> 00:07:44,566
Statutory rape is a big fucking deal here,
in the golden state.

105
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:45,601
Who knew?

106
00:07:45,602 --> 00:07:46,700
Maybe no one was hurt
in your case.

107
00:07:46,701 --> 00:07:48,602
I was hurt.
She punched me.

108
00:07:48,603 --> 00:07:50,543
Maybe it was all just good dirty fun.

109
00:07:50,544 --> 00:07:52,557
But there is probably some
creep out there...

110
00:07:52,558 --> 00:07:55,262
who's gonna think twice before banging the
babysitter because he just read

111
00:07:55,263 --> 00:07:56,355
about the Hollywood asshole

112
00:07:56,356 --> 00:08:00,292
who's doing serious time for sticking
his dick in some underage pussy.

113
00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:02,337
Hey. Can you say it louder?

114
00:08:02,338 --> 00:08:04,359
- Because I don't think they heard you.
- Yeah... yeah I think you need to hear me.

115
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,137
I get it.

116
00:08:05,138 --> 00:08:07,555
Ok, from now on till the
preliminary hearing,

117
00:08:07,556 --> 00:08:08,912
just.. behave yourself.

118
00:08:08,913 --> 00:08:10,464
- Stay out of trouble.
- Yes. Yes, ma'am.

119
00:08:10,465 --> 00:08:11,286
Ok?

120
00:08:11,287 --> 00:08:15,359
With any luck, I'll convince the judge there's
not enough of a case to take it to trial.

121
00:08:15,903 --> 00:08:17,422
And if you can't?

122
00:08:17,815 --> 00:08:20,753
Then it's time we make a deal.
Do some horse trading.

123
00:08:20,754 --> 00:08:22,205
That can be fun too.

124
00:08:22,206 --> 00:08:24,158
You really love this shit, huh?

125
00:08:24,159 --> 00:08:26,665
Don't tell anyone I told you, but...

126
00:08:26,666 --> 00:08:28,490
Sometimes even better than sex.

127
00:08:28,491 --> 00:08:30,066
- Wow.
- Safer too.

128
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:32,486
You must not like sex very much.

129
00:08:32,487 --> 00:08:35,580
No, see that's where you are wrong.
I love sex.

130
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,451
You trying to turn me on,
lady lawyer?

131
00:08:39,505 --> 00:08:40,847
Oh please...

132
00:08:40,848 --> 00:08:42,656
I am obviously far too old for you.

133
00:08:42,657 --> 00:08:45,624
No, see, that's where you're wrong.
I like me and mature women.

134
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:49,254
Gross feet, stretch marks, nipple hair.
I dig that, I dig it all.

135
00:08:49,255 --> 00:08:52,904
Love that shit. Not that you
have any of that shit...stuff...

136
00:08:52,905 --> 00:08:54,410
- I'm gonna go now.
- Yeah.

137
00:08:54,411 --> 00:08:55,859
Thank you.

138
00:09:03,691 --> 00:09:05,966
- It's coming.
- What?

139
00:09:07,057 --> 00:09:09,087
My fucking period.

140
00:09:09,522 --> 00:09:11,112
I'll alert the media.

141
00:09:11,113 --> 00:09:14,782
My tits are so sore, I'm crampy as hell.

142
00:09:14,783 --> 00:09:17,182
And I'm throwing up in my mouth
all day long.

143
00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:18,262
Nice.

144
00:09:18,477 --> 00:09:21,055
You're probably preggers. I mean,

145
00:09:21,056 --> 00:09:22,438
you are quite a slut.

146
00:09:22,439 --> 00:09:24,190
Fuck you.

147
00:09:24,374 --> 00:09:28,104
I'm too old to sustain life,
and too bitter too.

148
00:09:28,105 --> 00:09:30,711
If sperm would enter my pretty
little vajuju,

149
00:09:30,712 --> 00:09:35,093
and my cold black heart would kill
that shit dead son.

150
00:09:36,817 --> 00:09:38,722
<i>Go away.</i>

151
00:09:39,476 --> 00:09:41,929
Can you please do something
about that fucking Hank?

152
00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:44,002
What? You want me to put out a hit
on him or...

153
00:09:44,003 --> 00:09:45,140
Yes.

154
00:09:45,141 --> 00:09:46,749
- Seriously.
- Marcy, he's not my problem.

155
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,446
- The guy is fucking miserable.
- Yeah.

156
00:09:48,447 --> 00:09:51,143
- He's making my life miserable, all right?
- I know.

157
00:09:51,144 --> 00:09:52,214
Isn't it bad enough that I have that

158
00:09:52,215 --> 00:09:56,216
pasty little man-child ex-husband of mine
under foot all the time?

159
00:09:56,217 --> 00:09:57,744
C'mon!

160
00:09:57,745 --> 00:09:59,909
You gotta let him see Becca.

161
00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:01,517
He needs a fix.

162
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,560
It'll do them both some good.

163
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,652
I don't know, you know, I don't know.
I'll think about it.

164
00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:19,972
What page you on?

165
00:10:19,973 --> 00:10:22,904
Don't add up to the nearest ten.
I know your tricks.

166
00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:25,128
Been kind of busy, assholio.

167
00:10:25,129 --> 00:10:28,520
Of course, of course, but you started
right? I mean...

168
00:10:28,521 --> 00:10:30,126
You typed "fade in"?

169
00:10:30,127 --> 00:10:33,589
Charlie, I haven't even had time to read
the draft they don't like.

170
00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:34,604
Hank.

171
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:36,570
You're deal is closed.

172
00:10:36,571 --> 00:10:38,488
it's OK to start writing.

173
00:10:38,489 --> 00:10:40,205
You said you wanted to do this.

174
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,263
Yes, that was before I became
Hank Moody statutory rapist.

175
00:10:43,264 --> 00:10:44,744
Doesn't exactly inspire one

176
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,225
to sit in front of the typers.

177
00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:49,626
Hey, hey. This kind of ballyhoo
dint stop Polanski, did it? No.

178
00:10:49,627 --> 00:10:53,153
The man banged out script after script.
Movie after movie.

179
00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:55,578
He won himself nice little academy
award too, didn't he?

180
00:10:55,579 --> 00:10:58,734
Comparing me to the worlds most infamous
fan of underage girls

181
00:10:58,735 --> 00:11:00,957
is not the way to start a
pep talk, Charlie.

182
00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:02,680
Are you forgetting about R. Kelly?

183
00:11:02,681 --> 00:11:05,757
Jerry Lee Lewis! There's another one.
Shit he married one.

184
00:11:05,758 --> 00:11:07,537
I think she was his cousin too.

185
00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:09,702
That's kind of hot.

186
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:10,939
If you say so.

187
00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:13,810
Work with me here, Hank.

188
00:11:37,981 --> 00:11:39,173
Hi.

189
00:11:40,203 --> 00:11:41,625
Hi!

190
00:11:42,725 --> 00:11:43,728
Hi.

191
00:11:43,729 --> 00:11:45,104
Hug?

192
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,352
Too soon.

193
00:11:46,353 --> 00:11:47,418
Fair enough.

194
00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:53,075
So you... you wanna go for a walk
or something?

195
00:11:53,076 --> 00:11:57,221
You hungry? You wanna go down to strand,
you want to get ice cream or something?

196
00:11:57,222 --> 00:11:58,911
Not really.

197
00:11:59,203 --> 00:12:05,169
Is there anything you wanna do?
Particularly? Anything you need?

198
00:12:06,723 --> 00:12:09,753
C'mon Becca, I'm dying here.

199
00:12:11,329 --> 00:12:12,949
I need guitar strings.

200
00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:13,977
Ok.

201
00:12:13,978 --> 00:12:16,208
I can help with that. Definitely.

202
00:12:16,209 --> 00:12:19,955
We, we... can get on it... let's do this.
C'mon.

203
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,266
Is that OK, Karen?

204
00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:23,601
As long as you come straight back.

205
00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:26,472
it's not like I'm gonna run for the border.

206
00:12:26,473 --> 00:12:30,111
I don't know what you're capable of
nowadays.

207
00:12:30,112 --> 00:12:32,423
I'll be in the car.

208
00:12:40,732 --> 00:12:43,032
Thank you, Karen. I know...

209
00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:45,351
how hard this must be for you.

210
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:48,754
Do you?

211
00:13:08,969 --> 00:13:11,372
That sounds good, Jeff Becca.

212
00:13:12,337 --> 00:13:14,274
It sounds pretty good.

213
00:13:14,381 --> 00:13:15,352
What?

214
00:13:15,353 --> 00:13:16,673
You've been practicing.

215
00:13:16,674 --> 00:13:20,264
Yeah. Well, it's something to do.

216
00:13:22,322 --> 00:13:24,839
It doesn't have to be this hard, Becca.

217
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,854
Shouldn't it be hard?

218
00:13:26,855 --> 00:13:30,686
I mean, isn't that what pretty much happens
after the final straw?

219
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:34,491
It's impossible to make things
go back to the way they were?

220
00:13:38,027 --> 00:13:39,605
You like that guitar?

221
00:13:39,606 --> 00:13:42,165
What's not to like.
It's a classic.

222
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:44,257
Well, let's get it then.

223
00:13:44,468 --> 00:13:46,297
No way, it's too expensive.

224
00:13:46,298 --> 00:13:49,205
You wanna take the instrument seriously
you need a serious instrument. C'mon.

225
00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:51,637
Whatever, I don't want it,
save your money.

226
00:13:51,638 --> 00:13:53,606
For a lawyer.

227
00:13:57,597 --> 00:13:59,409
We'll take this one.

228
00:14:02,197 --> 00:14:03,775
Thank you.

229
00:14:04,442 --> 00:14:07,983
That's one hell of a fiddle.
You're really a wild lucky girl.

230
00:14:07,984 --> 00:14:10,013
That's me, a lucky girl.

231
00:14:10,014 --> 00:14:11,931
You'll thank me one day.

232
00:14:13,717 --> 00:14:15,687
It came up declined, sir.

233
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,206
- Try it again? - Yeah. That's actually
been doing this all day.

234
00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:23,178
I'm sorry, man, it's declined.

235
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:29,864
Hey, you know, no worries, man.
I could set this thing aside for you.

236
00:14:30,097 --> 00:14:31,511
- No.
- Get your card sorted out.

237
00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:32,775
Won't be necessary.

238
00:14:35,281 --> 00:14:37,159
She's got talent, your kid, by the way.

239
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,037
Great talent, man.
Lot of soul.

240
00:14:39,138 --> 00:14:40,570
Yeah, she sure does.

241
00:15:00,955 --> 00:15:02,306
Hey, you forgot these.

242
00:15:07,264 --> 00:15:09,157
Honey, I love you.

243
00:15:36,883 --> 00:15:38,738
Right. Ok.

244
00:15:39,394 --> 00:15:40,881
Cool. We'll see you there.

245
00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:43,838
What? Are you kidding?
This is great news.

246
00:15:44,764 --> 00:15:46,715
Yeah. Ok. Good.

247
00:15:47,997 --> 00:15:49,009
No, no, no, no, no.

248
00:15:49,075 --> 00:15:51,169
Pants on, buddy boy.
We got ourselves a meeting.

249
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:53,537
Fuck that. I've had
a shit fucking day.

250
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:54,905
My pants are off.

251
00:15:56,099 --> 00:15:57,476
I'm just gonna sit here,

252
00:15:58,217 --> 00:15:59,969
make good in snooker and watch my stories.

253
00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:01,327
Can you make me some dinner?

254
00:16:02,615 --> 00:16:04,477
How about I buy you some dinner?

255
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:09,420
Oh... could we go to Long John Silver?
I used to love that place when I was a kid.

256
00:16:09,421 --> 00:16:13,513
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about
right now. But I have some very good news.

257
00:16:14,910 --> 00:16:17,028
Eddie Nero wants to sit down.

258
00:16:17,432 --> 00:16:19,193
- Why?
- Whyyyyy?

259
00:16:19,194 --> 00:16:21,433
Because he wants to play you dumbass
in the movie.

260
00:16:21,434 --> 00:16:24,397
No, I hate that fuck,
that self satisfied prick.

261
00:16:24,398 --> 00:16:27,806
I'm holding out for Keithel. When in
doubt, call in the bad lieutenant.

262
00:16:27,807 --> 00:16:31,214
Plus the guy loves to show his dong.
Gotta love that in a thespian.

263
00:16:31,215 --> 00:16:32,452
We'll put him on the list.

264
00:16:32,453 --> 00:16:35,277
C'mon, c'mon, you'll have a good time.
C'mon, here we go.

265
00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:39,626
- Will there be alcoholic beverages?
- Most def. Most def. As many as you like.

266
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:42,886
And.. I'm sure there will be
kind words and flattery.

267
00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:45,759
Can we stop at an in&out on the way?

268
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,956
- Yes. Hank. We can stop…
- Yayyyyy!

269
00:16:47,957 --> 00:16:50,410
Let's go. Let's go.
Pants up.

270
00:16:52,764 --> 00:16:54,289
Becca hates me, Charlie.

271
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,670
She'll get over it, buddy boy.

272
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,020
We all do.

273
00:17:18,159 --> 00:17:20,082
- So is there a script?
- Fuck, no.

274
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:21,661
- But he's getting close.
- Ish.

275
00:17:21,662 --> 00:17:24,508
Hopefully it'll give you a sizable
boner when I am done.

276
00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,021
Thank you.

277
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:31,238
- You know what I like about you, Moody?
- No, what's that?

278
00:17:35,037 --> 00:17:36,336
You're handsome.

279
00:17:38,732 --> 00:17:40,028
Well aren't you the charmer.

280
00:17:40,029 --> 00:17:41,914
Most writers aren't handsome.

281
00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:45,252
They're usually pale,
sun starved,

282
00:17:45,253 --> 00:17:48,154
man titted, little weaklings
like you friend here.

283
00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:50,080
Thank you. Thank you very much.

284
00:17:50,094 --> 00:17:55,241
Always whining about the words,
if it ain't on the page it ain't on the stage.

285
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,820
Fuck that!

286
00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:58,854
You know what I say?

287
00:17:58,855 --> 00:18:03,832
If it ain't on the stage, there ain't nobody showing
up at the goddamn motherfucking theater anyway.

288
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:08,065
Listen to classical music?
Listen to motherfucking jazz.

289
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:15,991
Got me?

290
00:18:16,026 --> 00:18:17,909
No. You represent everything I hate,

291
00:18:17,910 --> 00:18:20,993
But I do find you highly entertaining.
Continue, please.

292
00:18:21,514 --> 00:18:23,146
You're a fucking man.

293
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:26,325
- You understand the dark side.
- I do?

294
00:18:26,403 --> 00:18:28,480
You've seen some shit.

295
00:18:29,102 --> 00:18:32,157
The handsome man, comes with a prize.

296
00:18:33,304 --> 00:18:34,598
It's a burden.

297
00:18:35,410 --> 00:18:36,948
And you understand that.

298
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:41,995
And plus,
the motherfucking dark side,

299
00:18:43,596 --> 00:18:46,654
You know you wanna go! 
You know you do!

300
00:18:46,683 --> 00:18:49,535
Like a sex machine.

301
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,772
You hear this guy?

302
00:18:51,773 --> 00:18:54,573
Bible's the truth!

303
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,447
- Excuse me?
- What?

304
00:18:58,448 --> 00:19:02,359
I was agreeing with you, Eddie.
I'm a big fan, by the way.

305
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,947
- Big fan.
- Keep quiet, little boy.

306
00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:07,923
Just sit back and nod
and drink your fucking girly cocktail.

307
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,244
You know what I'd like to do to you?

308
00:19:12,522 --> 00:19:14,615
I'd like to shoot you in the dick
with a paintball gun.

309
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:18,293
And watch you scream like a 14
year old fat girl.

310
00:19:19,271 --> 00:19:21,196
No place for you in man's world.

311
00:19:22,193 --> 00:19:24,745
Fucking suit. Ruining everything.

312
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,011
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, what's with the
fucking mood swings?

313
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:28,568
Be nice to my
friend, the countryman.

314
00:19:28,569 --> 00:19:31,952
Have a fucking drink.
Psycho…

315
00:19:36,137 --> 00:19:37,666
To hard cocks!

316
00:19:38,768 --> 00:19:40,242
And handsome men.

317
00:19:42,435 --> 00:19:43,943
Alright. Cheers.

318
00:19:46,456 --> 00:19:47,856
C'mon, goldilocks.

319
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:56,830
Excuse me. I see a girl that I had
defecated on Palm Springs once.

320
00:20:01,338 --> 00:20:02,929
Hey, guys, I'm sorry I'm late.

321
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,015
Where's Eddie going?

322
00:20:04,016 --> 00:20:05,815
He saw somebody
he pooped on once.

323
00:20:06,295 --> 00:20:07,323
Sweet.

324
00:20:07,324 --> 00:20:08,941
So what do we think?

325
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,348
Do you think he'd be a good Hank?

326
00:20:10,651 --> 00:20:13,968
We think he's pretty much fucking insane
that's what we think.

327
00:20:13,999 --> 00:20:16,149
Speak for yourself. I thought he
was very compelling.

328
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:18,167
He's cupping your junk,
you find that compelling, did you?

329
00:20:18,268 --> 00:20:20,593
I did. It was very intense.

330
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,307
You can see why the man has an Oscar.

331
00:20:22,329 --> 00:20:24,770
Hey, you know I never did finish
giving you my notes.

332
00:20:24,771 --> 00:20:25,959
Oh, yeah, I think you did.

333
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,465
No, pretty sure I didn't.

334
00:20:27,505 --> 00:20:30,781
Well, guess what, I'm not taking
any more notes. I'm full. So there.

335
00:20:32,887 --> 00:20:33,834
Your client's being very naughty.

336
00:20:33,835 --> 00:20:37,234
I think you should send him to my
room without any supper.

337
00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:44,381
Charlie, this can't be worth
at all for a stupid fucking movie

338
00:20:44,396 --> 00:20:47,403
that'll probably turn out to be
worse than the last one.

339
00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:50,667
The odds are against us, my friend, always.

340
00:20:50,861 --> 00:20:53,290
What're you gonna do?
Get a real job?

341
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:17,498
Hello?

342
00:21:19,907 --> 00:21:21,307
Hello?

343
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:24,377
Sasha Bingham?

344
00:21:24,464 --> 00:21:27,953
- Hey, hello.
- Hello!

345
00:21:28,306 --> 00:21:31,939
You are... pretty naked
under that thing, aren't you?

346
00:21:32,342 --> 00:21:34,572
You're pretty good at stating the obvious.

347
00:21:34,573 --> 00:21:37,156
You know, I gotta be honest with you,

348
00:21:37,157 --> 00:21:41,468
I don't think that we can continue
to do... stuff,

349
00:21:41,904 --> 00:21:45,300
Stuff... stuff of physical nature.

350
00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:47,831
Oh, why is that, you don't enjoy yourself?

351
00:21:47,832 --> 00:21:49,147
No, no I'm sure, it was stars,

352
00:21:49,148 --> 00:21:51,440
Just that I don't remember much
after the K.O.

353
00:21:51,441 --> 00:21:53,169
You know, but the sex is always
pretty good.

354
00:21:53,170 --> 00:21:55,327
- Pretty good?
- Yeah, you know like pizza,

355
00:21:55,328 --> 00:21:59,500
or Mexican food or sushi even.
No, sushi is pretty high on mass.

356
00:21:59,501 --> 00:22:01,650
Is this like a technique of yours,

357
00:22:01,651 --> 00:22:04,258
you know where you insult the girl
so she'll want you even more?

358
00:22:04,259 --> 00:22:06,473
Because it's totally working.

359
00:22:06,474 --> 00:22:10,965
Yeah, it's just that I'm..I'm in a hell
of a lot of trouble these days.

360
00:22:10,966 --> 00:22:13,539
Yeah, this whole statutory rape thing
is pretty fucked up.

361
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:14,820
Totally.

362
00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:16,392
It is kind of hot though too...

363
00:22:16,393 --> 00:22:18,843
You know, knowing that I slept
with a criminal.

364
00:22:18,844 --> 00:22:21,231
- Alleged criminal! Thank you very much...
- Ah, yes.

365
00:22:21,232 --> 00:22:23,486
Speaking of that
bit of unpleasantness,

366
00:22:23,487 --> 00:22:25,111
the rape, not our physical union,

367
00:22:25,112 --> 00:22:28,582
it's probably not the best time to be
getting involved with the actress

368
00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:31,968
who's gonna play the girl
who I raped... allegedly.

369
00:22:31,969 --> 00:22:33,286
I get what you're saying,

370
00:22:33,287 --> 00:22:37,494
but that doesn't mean I don't want one or
more of your fingers in my vagina right now.

371
00:22:37,771 --> 00:22:40,346
- Why you have to talk to me like that?
- Talk like what?

372
00:22:40,347 --> 00:22:42,725
It just makes it...

373
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,027
kinda hard to...

374
00:22:44,328 --> 00:22:46,373
clink clearly.

375
00:22:48,488 --> 00:22:51,112
Yes, guess it does it make it kinda hard.

376
00:23:05,945 --> 00:23:07,642
- Shit!
- No, I can do better.

377
00:23:07,643 --> 00:23:09,677
No, no, no, the door.

378
00:23:13,884 --> 00:23:16,644
Shit, shit, shit, Eddie Niro.
Hold on, Eddie!

379
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,789
What does that douchebag want?

380
00:23:17,790 --> 00:23:20,154
He want us to talk about the project,
I told him he could stop by,

381
00:23:20,155 --> 00:23:22,048
but I did not think he would.

382
00:23:22,247 --> 00:23:24,640
- I'll go then, I'll just leave.
- You don't mind?

383
00:23:24,641 --> 00:23:26,593
No I don't mind, I mean,
maybe I should, but

384
00:23:26,594 --> 00:23:30,028
I think I'm just too tired to
figure that out, so, yeah I'm good.

385
00:23:30,029 --> 00:23:33,589
Hey, actually just uh.. just hide in
the bathroom, OK?

386
00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:35,075
Hide in the bathroom?
Why do I have to hide?

387
00:23:35,076 --> 00:23:37,157
Because I don't want him to
know you're here, duh?

388
00:23:37,158 --> 00:23:38,320
- Duh?
- Yeah.

389
00:23:38,321 --> 00:23:41,472
Look, the secret to being a
successful Hollywood actress,

390
00:23:41,473 --> 00:23:45,874
is projecting the vibe that everyone
you work with has a shot at fucking you.

391
00:23:45,875 --> 00:23:47,025
That's the secret?

392
00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,824
You mean to tell me
you wouldn't fuck Eddie Niro?

393
00:23:49,825 --> 00:23:53,858
One of the greatest actors
in present generation... allegedly?

394
00:23:53,859 --> 00:23:56,703
No, I would, he's hot,
that's just not the point.

395
00:23:57,197 --> 00:24:00,256
- He poops on people.
- Just hide in the bathroom, OK?

396
00:24:00,257 --> 00:24:03,700
Yeah, I'm gonna go get rid of him,
go downstairs for a drink. How do I look?

397
00:24:03,701 --> 00:24:05,523
Good enough to shit on.

398
00:24:05,524 --> 00:24:07,199
Would it kill you to put on a bra?

399
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,037
Ooooohhh.... are you jealous?

400
00:24:09,038 --> 00:24:10,799
- No?
- No!

401
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,841
I don't know, it's just that...

402
00:24:12,842 --> 00:24:16,553
I just had one or more fingers inside you,
and I don't know where you come from

403
00:24:16,554 --> 00:24:20,360
but the way I was raised,
that's pretty intimate.

404
00:25:26,835 --> 00:25:28,846
<i>Thirteen!</i>

405
00:26:01,232 --> 00:26:03,192
<i>To my dear beautiful daughter.</i>

406
00:26:03,193 --> 00:26:07,421
<i>I'm writing you a letter, that's right,
a good old fashioned letter.</i>

407
00:26:07,471 --> 00:26:11,930
<i>It's a lost art really,
like handjobs... Shit.</i>

408
00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:15,346
<i>I have a confession to make:</i>

409
00:26:15,387 --> 00:26:17,869
<i>I didn't like you very much at first</i>

410
00:26:17,870 --> 00:26:20,564
<i>You were just this little annoying
little blob,</i>

411
00:26:20,565 --> 00:26:23,778
<i>You smelled nice,
most of the time.</i>

412
00:26:23,779 --> 00:26:26,403
<i>But you didn't seem to have much
interest in me.</i>

413
00:26:26,462 --> 00:26:29,504
<i>Which of course I found
vaguely insulting.</i>

414
00:26:29,628 --> 00:26:32,623
<i>It was just you and your mom
against the world,</i>

415
00:26:32,624 --> 00:26:35,277
<i>funny how somethings never change.</i>

416
00:26:35,713 --> 00:26:39,380
<i>So I cruised along, doing my thing,
acting the fool,</i>

417
00:26:39,483 --> 00:26:43,386
<i>not really understanding how being
a parent changes you.</i>

418
00:26:43,717 --> 00:26:47,081
<i>And I don't remember the exact moment
everything changed.</i>

419
00:26:47,251 --> 00:26:49,215
<i>I just know that it did.</i>

420
00:26:49,702 --> 00:26:53,432
<i>One minute I was impenetrable,
nothing could touch me,</i>

421
00:26:53,433 --> 00:26:57,580
<i>the next my heart was somehow
beating outside my chest,</i>

422
00:26:57,581 --> 00:27:00,062
exposed to the elements.

423
00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:06,099
<i>Loving you has been the most profound,
intense and painful experience of my life.</i>

424
00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:09,078
<i>In fact it's been almost too much to bear.</i>

425
00:27:09,234 --> 00:27:13,523
<i>As your father, I made a silent vow
to protect you from the world.</i>

426
00:27:13,524 --> 00:27:15,305
<i>Never realised I was the one</i>

427
00:27:15,306 --> 00:27:17,737
who would end up hurting you
the most.

428
00:27:18,088 --> 00:27:20,986
<i>When I flash forward my heart breaks.</i>

429
00:27:21,046 --> 00:27:25,382
<i>Mostly because I can't imagine you
speaking of me with any sort of pride.</i>

430
00:27:25,411 --> 00:27:27,050
<i>How could you?</i>

431
00:27:27,085 --> 00:27:29,827
<i>Your father is a child in a man's body,</i>

432
00:27:29,893 --> 00:27:33,259
<i>he cares for nothing and
everything at the same time.</i>

433
00:27:33,392 --> 00:27:36,223
<i>Noble in thought
weak in action.</i>

434
00:27:36,224 --> 00:27:40,073
Something has to change,
something has to give.

435
00:27:42,099 --> 00:27:45,738
<i>It's getting dark,
too dark to see.</i>

436
00:27:45,938 --> 00:27:56,138
Transcript by abhishek
Corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com