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Runkle!
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Previously
on Californication...
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Hey, is this Runkle's house?
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Who the fuck are you?
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Stu Beggs.
You're the wife?
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Soon to be ex.
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Want to know how many women
I've slept with?
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Mm-mmm.
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I gotta get it up to 100.
10
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Triple digits.
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- I met the wife.
- Soon to be ex.
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So you wouldn't mind
if I took a crack at her?
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Say what?
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And you are?
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- I'm Ben.
- Karen.
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Nice to meet you.
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Nice to meet you too.
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How's Lenny Kravitz?
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Excuse me?
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You've been hanging
around with.
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Um, none of your business.
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Abby here is the best there is
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at defending
the unjustly accused.
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You really love this shit, huh?
25
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Sometimes it's
even better than sex.
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You must not like sex
very much.
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Hey!
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Am I really
that scary the morning after?
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Hardly. You're
just really penetrating me
30
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with those pretty blue eyes.
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They're hazel.
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Are they?
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It's early and you got
a bunch of cruddies in there.
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Thank you.
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Yes, no. Oh, that's right,
hazel they are.
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Still pretty, though.
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Well, I suppose
one good penetration
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does deserve another.
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Ooh, I like where
you're going with this.
40
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I love me some morning sex.
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Daylight, smelly pits,
bad breath.
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Bring it.
Let's do this.
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I need to recuse myself.
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Recuse me?
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I'm being serious.
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Well, the bathroom is
that-a-way.
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We had sex, Hank.
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Don't do that.
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Don't... don't reduce it.
50
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That was not sex.
51
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- That was naked poetry.
- Oh, okay.
52
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I haven't been fucked like
that since I was an altar boy.
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- Really? Are you finished?
- No, I'm not finished.
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I'm just getting started,
counselor.
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- You're not listening.
- No, I'm not,
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because I'm too busy
reading your braille.
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Ahem.
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I'm a lip-reader,
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and I can also read
upside down,
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and you know what it says?
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"Shut up and fuck me."
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We had sex.
You made me come.
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Don't sell yourself short.
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I invited you to come.
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You did all the rest.
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And now we have
a serious conflict.
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I'm not the greatest
of legal minds,
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but, last night, when we made
the beast with two backs,
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I don't believe that you
were technically my attorney.
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Yeah, yes, and that logic
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was perfectly,
perfectly sound last night.
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This morning, not so much.
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Last night, this morning,
what's the diff, really?
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What's it all about anyway?
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It's your choice, Hank.
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What do you want me to do?
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Fuck you or defend you?
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Oh, shit.
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There's a really good lawyer
joke in there somewhere,
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but there's not enough blood
in my brain
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to figure it our right now.
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Okay, I'm introducing you
to a new attorney.
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No, I like my old one.
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And she likes you too.
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A little too much maybe.
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How much are we talking?
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Read my braille.
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Wow.
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That speaks volumes.
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So...What's it gonna be?
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Oh, you're recused.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Hello?
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Hello!
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Good morning.
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Good morning.
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- Oh!
- What are you doing?
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Well, your door was ajar.
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I just wanted to make sure you
hadn't been violated.
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Oh. So what are you,
Robin Hood of rapists now?
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Oh, good one.
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And I just wanted to say hello.
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Hello and good-bye!
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I have some time to kill.
I have an appointment.
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I brought you some coffee.
106
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How do you take it now?
Black?
107
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- Thanks, brother.
- Oh, fuck.
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Cheers.
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So, what, you guys
are doing it now?
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Shut up.
It's none of your business.
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It is my business.
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That was my vagina
for a very, very long time.
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I have squatter's rights
on that.
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Ben brought me a painting,
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and he was hanging it up for me
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in the bedroom, okay?
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Oh, that is smooth, Ben.
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Real smooth.
What was the occasion?
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Doing it?
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Ben is an artist, Hank.
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Oh, fuck, aren't we all?
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Actually, I am an artist
by profession.
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It says so on my tax return.
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Well, sometimes
in the bathroom,
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I will draw on the wall
with my own poo.
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Doesn't make me
a fucking artist, does it?
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- No.
- Poo-casso.
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It makes you a grown man
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who likes to play
with his excrement.
130
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Exactly, Karen.
Exactly.
131
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I design album covers.
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Wow, that is
buttfucking awesome, Ben.
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You are very hard to hate.
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Hey, guess what.
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I did it last night too...
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With a woman.
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A woman?
A grown woman?
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An extremely hot,
totally sexy woman.
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- Class up the wazoo, right?
- Good for you.
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A real fucking dame, that one.
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Good for you, Hank.
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No, good for us, Karen.
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'Cause we're moving on.
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We're sharing our genitals
with other people.
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It's so fucking mature, I want
to punch myself in the dick.
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Do it!
147
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Listen, not that
I'm not enjoying this,
148
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whatever this is,
149
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but I just feel like maybe I
should try and put a stop to it.
150
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Yes, that would be a good idea,
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and good luck, 'cause...
152
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Yeah,
that would be a good idea,
153
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- and good luck, 'cause...
- I'm gonna stab you.
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Fuck you.
155
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Did you tell him
about the girls?
156
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No, she didn't tell me
about the fucking girls.
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She doesn't tell me
anything anymore.
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They're doing
an unplugged gig tonight.
159
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You should come.
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Well, that's interesting.
161
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Maybe I will.
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Maybe I won't.
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Guess you'll just to have wait
and see, you two, won't you?
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I'm excited.
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We have a proposition
for you, Runkle.
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Okay, let me
just throw it out there.
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This is not a threesome
I am interested in at all.
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We, neither,
you fucking jackass.
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Well, I'm open...
Sexually.
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I mean,
I just want you to know that.
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Stu, shut the fuck up.
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Okay. So here's the deal.
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We have a pitch meeting
today at Showtime,
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at FX, and HBO tomorrow.
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But I think showtime is
the right place for this.
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Nurse Jackie, I like that shit.
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Edie Falco. Respect.
178
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What's the pitch?
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Well...
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You were married to her.
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I don't get it.
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See?
He's not a visionary, Stu.
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I told you.
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It's a down and dirty
half-hour
185
00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:51,036
about a foul-mouthed celebrity
waxologist.
186
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Punani-tender to the stars,
if you will,
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00:06:54,207 --> 00:06:56,341
based on hers truly.
188
00:06:56,376 --> 00:06:58,944
You know what?
189
00:06:58,978 --> 00:07:01,113
That's not a bad idea.
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00:07:01,147 --> 00:07:02,414
- Thank you.
- Really?
191
00:07:02,449 --> 00:07:04,817
Well, how come you never thought
of it, brain trust?
192
00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:07,019
Obviously,
I was too close to it.
193
00:07:07,053 --> 00:07:10,189
I was too busy
being emasculated by it.
194
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Don't blame me because you
were born with a clit for a cock
195
00:07:12,392 --> 00:07:15,994
and a tiny little beanbag
to house what passes for balls.
196
00:07:16,029 --> 00:07:17,996
See? Magic.
197
00:07:21,534 --> 00:07:23,368
Don't you worry, Hank.
Abby's the best.
198
00:07:23,403 --> 00:07:25,671
But even the best need
a little help sometimes.
199
00:07:25,705 --> 00:07:26,772
Isn't that right, Abby?
200
00:07:26,806 --> 00:07:28,841
Absolutely, Lloyd.
You are the man.
201
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:32,044
I'll take care of you.
202
00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:33,445
Thank you,
Lloyd Alan Phillips, Jr.
203
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,147
I feel safe with you.
204
00:07:35,181 --> 00:07:36,748
What are you reading right now?
205
00:07:36,783 --> 00:07:38,517
What am I reading?
206
00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:40,052
What's on your nightstand
right now?
207
00:07:40,086 --> 00:07:42,287
That's an interesting question.
208
00:07:42,322 --> 00:07:45,057
Um, bottle of Heineken,
209
00:07:45,091 --> 00:07:46,125
pack of smokes,
210
00:07:46,159 --> 00:07:48,260
the accommodator.
Oh.
211
00:07:48,294 --> 00:07:49,294
Oh, the accommodator?
212
00:07:49,329 --> 00:07:50,762
Is that like a novel?
213
00:07:50,797 --> 00:07:52,397
No, no, no.
It's more like a sex toy.
214
00:07:52,432 --> 00:07:53,599
A dildo, essentially,
215
00:07:53,633 --> 00:07:55,100
only you strap it to your head
216
00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:57,436
so that the dong part
juts out from your chin.
217
00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:59,571
It enables you
to "accommodate" your lady
218
00:07:59,606 --> 00:08:02,141
by performing oral and
penetrato at the same time.
219
00:08:02,175 --> 00:08:04,443
You know, like...
220
00:08:04,477 --> 00:08:05,611
Something like this.
221
00:08:05,645 --> 00:08:06,912
Like Chinocchio?
222
00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:08,380
- Chinocchio.
- Interesting.
223
00:08:08,414 --> 00:08:10,048
I think it's very interesting.
I can hook you up.
224
00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:11,216
You too, Abby.
225
00:08:11,251 --> 00:08:12,951
Thank you, Hank.
That's generous of you.
226
00:08:12,986 --> 00:08:14,286
You seem to be
in pretty good shape.
227
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,888
Where do you work out?
You do the steps?
228
00:08:15,922 --> 00:08:17,523
The steps?
229
00:08:17,557 --> 00:08:19,958
- In Santa Monica.
- Oh.
230
00:08:19,993 --> 00:08:21,727
It's quite a scene.
Lots of lovely ladies.
231
00:08:21,761 --> 00:08:23,262
You can really make
a day of it.
232
00:08:23,296 --> 00:08:26,465
Yeah. Yeah.
233
00:08:26,499 --> 00:08:28,667
What's up?
You need something?
234
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:30,068
I was just thinking...
235
00:08:30,103 --> 00:08:32,804
If I wanted to hang myself,
236
00:08:32,839 --> 00:08:34,072
do you think
this chandelier here
237
00:08:34,107 --> 00:08:36,275
would support my weight there?
238
00:08:36,309 --> 00:08:37,609
Uh...
239
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:40,245
About 175, 180?
240
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,447
You have an interesting
sense of humor, Hank.
241
00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,550
That's what they tell me,
Lloyd Alan Phillips, Jr.
242
00:08:44,584 --> 00:08:47,152
Well, I like to take care
of myself these days.
243
00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:48,554
Had a bit of a scare last year.
244
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:49,788
Did you?
245
00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:51,256
Yeah, nothing...
nothing serious.
246
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:52,791
Just an anal fissure.
247
00:08:52,825 --> 00:08:53,959
You know what that is, Hank?
248
00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:57,296
It's like
a small rip or tear...
249
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:58,797
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know, I know.
250
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,566
In the skin of the anal canal.
251
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,402
Well, hurt
like a son of a bitch.
252
00:09:03,436 --> 00:09:04,536
Only thing that got me through
253
00:09:04,571 --> 00:09:06,138
was the thought
of getting back to the game.
254
00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:07,406
You play, Hank?
255
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,342
No! I'm more
of a miniature golfer myself.
256
00:09:10,376 --> 00:09:12,277
We should play,
the three of us.
257
00:09:12,312 --> 00:09:14,613
Today. You guys
can get me up to speed.
258
00:09:14,647 --> 00:09:16,248
I'll go and check with Lindsay,
259
00:09:16,282 --> 00:09:17,549
see if she
can clear my schedule.
260
00:09:17,584 --> 00:09:20,352
- Great.
- Oh, this is not good.
261
00:09:22,288 --> 00:09:23,755
You made your bed,
262
00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:25,490
and then you fucked me in it.
263
00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,392
Mm-hmm-hmm. I think I
need to recuse myself.
264
00:09:27,427 --> 00:09:29,595
It's impossible.
He's my boss.
265
00:09:29,629 --> 00:09:31,196
I mean, I can't
just go to him and say,
266
00:09:31,231 --> 00:09:32,431
"Uh, hey, Lloyd, sorry.
267
00:09:32,465 --> 00:09:33,665
Hank thinks
you're a big bore."
268
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,067
But he is a big fucking bore.
269
00:09:35,101 --> 00:09:36,535
But maybe that's a good thing.
270
00:09:36,569 --> 00:09:38,370
Maybe that will prevent you
from sticking your dick in him.
271
00:09:38,404 --> 00:09:39,871
I would never stick
my dick in him.
272
00:09:39,906 --> 00:09:42,074
It would fall off
from complete and utter boredom.
273
00:09:42,108 --> 00:09:43,976
Get dir... get directions
from Patti.
274
00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:47,579
I'll see you out on the links.
275
00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:53,051
Ooh!
276
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:58,724
Did he tell you
about his anal fissure?
277
00:09:58,758 --> 00:09:59,791
Yes. Yes, he did.
278
00:09:59,826 --> 00:10:01,226
He's the fissure king.
279
00:10:01,261 --> 00:10:03,528
I'm sorry.
He's the worst.
280
00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:05,831
I don't know
how you stand it here, Patti.
281
00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:07,366
Me, neither. All the guys
around here are like that.
282
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,369
Sometimes I think
I'm never gonna find a man.
283
00:10:10,403 --> 00:10:12,871
What kind of fella
you looking for?
284
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,741
Honestly?
I just need to get laid.
285
00:10:15,775 --> 00:10:17,776
I hear that.
286
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:19,278
You know what?
I think can help out.
287
00:10:19,312 --> 00:10:21,146
I got a guy for you.
He's a sure thing.
288
00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:23,415
Total chrome dome,
but he fucks like a champ.
289
00:10:23,449 --> 00:10:25,150
Loves to eat the pussy too.
290
00:10:27,387 --> 00:10:28,787
I'm listening.
291
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:35,127
Hoo.
292
00:10:37,330 --> 00:10:39,798
You a little nervous
there, huh?
293
00:10:39,832 --> 00:10:42,134
You never have been
one for sales, have you?
294
00:10:42,168 --> 00:10:43,368
No.
295
00:10:43,403 --> 00:10:45,470
Fuck you.
Stop trying to psych me out.
296
00:10:45,505 --> 00:10:46,638
You know what?
I'm the nervous one.
297
00:10:46,673 --> 00:10:48,507
I got the fucking runs.
298
00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:50,909
I think I have a little IBS.
299
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:52,511
A little TMI.
300
00:10:52,545 --> 00:10:53,545
I'm sorry, my dear.
301
00:10:53,579 --> 00:10:54,846
Not to worry.
302
00:10:54,881 --> 00:10:56,315
It always happens
before a pitch.
303
00:10:56,349 --> 00:10:58,550
It's a ritual cleansing.
304
00:11:06,059 --> 00:11:07,159
So...
305
00:11:07,193 --> 00:11:08,226
Be quiet.
306
00:11:08,261 --> 00:11:09,561
What? What? No.
307
00:11:09,595 --> 00:11:12,230
I was just... I was going to
ask about you and Stu.
308
00:11:12,265 --> 00:11:14,266
Stu and you.
309
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,901
Mar-Stu, ha!
310
00:11:15,935 --> 00:11:17,202
That's what the rags
would be calling it.
311
00:11:17,236 --> 00:11:19,037
Mar-Stu.
312
00:11:19,072 --> 00:11:21,707
So, how's it going?
313
00:11:21,741 --> 00:11:23,008
Whatever.
314
00:11:23,042 --> 00:11:24,209
He's nice.
315
00:11:24,243 --> 00:11:26,278
Nice.
316
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:27,612
Do you like him?
317
00:11:27,647 --> 00:11:29,948
Yes, I like him, Charlie, okay?
318
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:32,451
It's nice to be with
a fucking grown-up for once.
319
00:11:32,485 --> 00:11:34,586
I used to be a grown-up...
320
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,121
Once.
321
00:11:36,155 --> 00:11:37,756
I just...
322
00:11:37,790 --> 00:11:39,024
Regressed a little.
323
00:11:39,058 --> 00:11:40,459
A little?
324
00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:43,095
You're like a bald Benjamin
Button, aging in reverse.
325
00:11:43,129 --> 00:11:45,330
You're going to die a big,
pink, quivering jell-o baby.
326
00:11:45,365 --> 00:11:46,565
Come on.
327
00:11:46,599 --> 00:11:49,501
Whatever's going on
between the two of you,
328
00:11:49,535 --> 00:11:53,338
I hope you find
all the happiness you deserve.
329
00:11:53,373 --> 00:11:54,740
I mean that.
330
00:11:56,676 --> 00:11:58,543
Thanks, Charlie.
331
00:12:02,281 --> 00:12:04,449
And you're gonna
do great in there.
332
00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:10,055
Okay. That is better.
333
00:12:10,089 --> 00:12:12,791
Got all the poison out.
334
00:12:12,825 --> 00:12:13,992
So, we ready to do this?
335
00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:16,595
- Mm.
- Okay, let's huddle up.
336
00:12:16,629 --> 00:12:17,963
Come on.
337
00:12:17,997 --> 00:12:19,598
- Yes.
- There we go, there we go.
338
00:12:48,027 --> 00:12:49,294
Okay.
339
00:12:52,799 --> 00:12:54,666
Motherfucker.
340
00:12:57,370 --> 00:12:59,404
I'm sorry, sir.
Collared shirts only.
341
00:12:59,439 --> 00:13:01,306
And no denim.
342
00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:02,441
What are you,
some kind of fascist?
343
00:13:02,475 --> 00:13:03,608
What have you
got against denim?
344
00:13:03,643 --> 00:13:04,976
It's the people's fabric.
345
00:13:05,011 --> 00:13:07,546
I can show you to
the pro shop if you'd like, sir.
346
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:09,681
Run. Save yourself.
347
00:13:15,521 --> 00:13:16,855
Oh, my God.
348
00:13:16,889 --> 00:13:19,024
This is just too delicious.
349
00:13:19,058 --> 00:13:20,659
I hate myself,
and I want to die.
350
00:13:20,693 --> 00:13:22,627
We are going to
have much fun out there.
351
00:13:22,662 --> 00:13:24,129
- That's impossible.
- Think about it.
352
00:13:24,163 --> 00:13:25,730
We can have
guilt-free sex now.
353
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,766
- I wasn't guilty.
- Well, I was.
354
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,669
Well, sometimes guilt can
make the sex better, you know?
355
00:13:30,703 --> 00:13:32,304
Sometimes it can.
356
00:13:32,338 --> 00:13:33,839
Oh!
357
00:13:33,873 --> 00:13:35,440
Dressing room quickie?
358
00:13:35,475 --> 00:13:37,042
I'll let you play
with my putter. Come on.
359
00:13:37,076 --> 00:13:39,845
- Ahem.
- Looking good, Hank.
360
00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:41,947
You guys ready to go to church?
361
00:13:41,981 --> 00:13:43,615
Hmm.
362
00:13:43,649 --> 00:13:46,218
Roberta, would you believe me
363
00:13:46,252 --> 00:13:49,588
if I told you
we have your next Weeds?
364
00:13:49,622 --> 00:13:51,056
Great.
365
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,691
Tell us.
366
00:13:52,725 --> 00:13:55,460
The name of the show is
Hot Lips.
367
00:13:55,495 --> 00:13:57,395
Yeah.
368
00:13:57,430 --> 00:13:59,297
It's centers
around the sexploits
369
00:13:59,332 --> 00:14:01,800
of an esthetician of the stars.
370
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:04,469
What is it like to stare
into the business end
371
00:14:04,504 --> 00:14:06,938
of Sandy Bullock's vagina?
372
00:14:06,973 --> 00:14:09,641
This woman knows.
373
00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:12,077
What's it like
to take off the hair
374
00:14:12,111 --> 00:14:14,946
from Robin Williams'
mammoth ballsack?
375
00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:18,049
This woman is familiar
with every vein.
376
00:14:18,084 --> 00:14:19,718
I don't...
377
00:14:19,752 --> 00:14:23,255
I don't do balls, so...
378
00:14:25,458 --> 00:14:27,259
Well, that's good news.
379
00:14:27,293 --> 00:14:30,729
But anyway, uh...
380
00:14:32,598 --> 00:14:33,899
But...Unh!
381
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:36,601
Oh! Ahem.
382
00:14:36,636 --> 00:14:39,771
Marcy has stories and stories
and stories
383
00:14:39,805 --> 00:14:41,072
that go for days
and days and days,
384
00:14:41,107 --> 00:14:44,009
so I'm gonna hand it off to her,
385
00:14:44,043 --> 00:14:46,978
and if you will
kindly excuse me,
386
00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:48,947
I'm having
a little tummy trouble.
387
00:14:55,888 --> 00:14:57,656
Um, yeah.
388
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,324
I, uh...
389
00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:01,493
I got some stories, kids.
390
00:15:01,527 --> 00:15:03,762
I've, uh, seen some shit.
391
00:15:03,796 --> 00:15:05,797
I've seen...
392
00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:12,437
I've got stories...
Damn.
393
00:15:12,471 --> 00:15:15,240
I got stories that'll
straighten your pubes.
394
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:21,079
Maybe you could tell us one.
395
00:15:21,113 --> 00:15:24,616
Yeah, of course.
I, um...
396
00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:29,020
Shit, uh, let me think.
397
00:15:29,055 --> 00:15:30,722
Uh, uh,
398
00:15:30,756 --> 00:15:34,492
'cause I'm totally fucking
drawing a blank here.
399
00:15:34,527 --> 00:15:36,127
Um...
400
00:15:36,162 --> 00:15:37,462
So...
401
00:15:37,496 --> 00:15:41,132
Marcy gets a call
from a very famous actress.
402
00:15:41,167 --> 00:15:43,101
I'm not gonna name
any names here.
403
00:15:43,135 --> 00:15:44,669
Nicole.
404
00:15:44,704 --> 00:15:46,171
It's an emergency.
405
00:15:46,205 --> 00:15:47,839
She's shooting at Universal.
406
00:15:47,873 --> 00:15:51,142
Her leading man has been
flirting with her all day long.
407
00:15:51,177 --> 00:15:52,444
Sean.
408
00:15:52,478 --> 00:15:54,179
He wants to see her
in his trailer
409
00:15:54,213 --> 00:15:57,115
to talk about the script,
Haiti, whatever.
410
00:15:57,149 --> 00:15:59,484
Clearly it is on.
411
00:15:59,518 --> 00:16:01,920
But Nicole is sporting
412
00:16:01,954 --> 00:16:04,356
kind of a winter bush
situation down south,
413
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:05,991
if you know what I mean.
414
00:16:06,025 --> 00:16:09,461
What is a hairy-scary
"A"-lister to do?
415
00:16:09,495 --> 00:16:11,563
She calls the Marster
over here.
416
00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:13,865
And what does Marcy do?
417
00:16:13,899 --> 00:16:16,968
She accidentally tears off
a piece of Nicole's labia.
418
00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:20,138
Majora, not minora.
But there's blood everywhere.
419
00:16:20,172 --> 00:16:22,307
The movie shuts down.
420
00:16:22,341 --> 00:16:23,975
Yeah, funny...
421
00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:25,710
Funny scene,
but what's the show?
422
00:16:25,745 --> 00:16:27,846
That is
a very good question, Roberta.
423
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,983
To me, it's about the crazy shit
that women do to themselves
424
00:16:32,018 --> 00:16:33,485
in the name of men.
425
00:16:33,519 --> 00:16:37,922
It's about a smart,
successful, modern woman,
426
00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:39,858
looking for love in a city
427
00:16:39,892 --> 00:16:42,093
that does not place
a whole lot of value on it.
428
00:16:42,128 --> 00:16:44,195
And it's about pussy.
429
00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,031
It's about getting some,
430
00:16:46,065 --> 00:16:48,667
giving it away,
and keeping it clean.
431
00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:55,774
You know anything about
the history of the game, Hank?
432
00:16:55,808 --> 00:16:57,409
Precious little, Lloyd.
433
00:16:57,443 --> 00:16:59,010
Well,
it's not altogether clear,
434
00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:00,311
it's up for debate,
435
00:17:00,346 --> 00:17:03,181
but some historians claim
it dates back
436
00:17:03,215 --> 00:17:05,417
to the Roman game of Paganica,
437
00:17:05,451 --> 00:17:07,485
where, uh, participants
used a bent stick
438
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:08,853
to hit a stuffed leather ball.
439
00:17:08,888 --> 00:17:11,289
Is that right?
That is fascinating.
440
00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:12,724
How do you work
for this fucking drone?
441
00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:14,693
He's my boss.
442
00:17:14,727 --> 00:17:16,895
Have you loved
every boss you've ever had?
443
00:17:16,929 --> 00:17:18,229
I don't know.
I never really had a boss.
444
00:17:18,264 --> 00:17:19,698
What are you talking about?
445
00:17:19,732 --> 00:17:21,132
To have a boss,
you kind of need to have a job,
446
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,534
and I've never had one...
a job.
447
00:17:22,568 --> 00:17:24,369
I'm actually having sex
448
00:17:24,403 --> 00:17:26,271
with someone who's never been
gainfully employed?
449
00:17:26,305 --> 00:17:27,739
I know.
It's weird, right?
450
00:17:27,773 --> 00:17:29,808
What?
451
00:17:31,811 --> 00:17:33,211
Who callin' my phone?
452
00:17:33,245 --> 00:17:34,312
Silence!
453
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:35,413
I'll call you back.
454
00:17:35,448 --> 00:17:37,215
Go ahead, Lloyd.
455
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,088
Beautiful, Lloyd.
456
00:17:43,122 --> 00:17:45,123
- You're up, Abby.
- Yes. Ahem.
457
00:17:48,627 --> 00:17:49,761
Ohh.
458
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:56,434
Hold on a second there, Abby.
459
00:17:56,469 --> 00:17:57,502
Let me show you something.
460
00:18:01,507 --> 00:18:04,776
- Just keep this arm straight.
- Mm-hmm.
461
00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:06,177
And use your hips.
462
00:18:06,212 --> 00:18:07,479
- Okay.
- Okay.
463
00:18:07,513 --> 00:18:08,947
Thank you, Lloyd.
464
00:18:09,982 --> 00:18:11,416
You dog, you.
465
00:18:12,785 --> 00:18:14,185
Good shot, Abby.
466
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:15,987
I'm up.
467
00:18:16,021 --> 00:18:17,288
Doot-doot.
468
00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:24,129
Whoa, oh.
469
00:18:24,163 --> 00:18:26,131
Sorry.
470
00:18:31,971 --> 00:18:33,104
Oh!
471
00:18:33,139 --> 00:18:35,306
Okay, I get a hoolihan
on that one, right?
472
00:18:35,341 --> 00:18:36,775
That's a mulligan.
473
00:18:36,809 --> 00:18:38,977
Right, whatever.
I got that.
474
00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:40,678
Hang on a second, Hank.
Let me show you something.
475
00:18:43,549 --> 00:18:45,116
Keep your left arm straight,
come on.
476
00:18:46,652 --> 00:18:48,987
You're gonna need a little
astroglide back there, Lloyd.
477
00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:51,289
- I'm not that easy.
- And use your hips now.
478
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,594
You're all over the place.
479
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:02,600
Oh! Fuck me.
480
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:06,337
Run, you cunt!
481
00:19:06,372 --> 00:19:08,306
No, no, no.
482
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:09,307
Get there, get there.
483
00:19:09,341 --> 00:19:10,675
Hank, that's not funny.
484
00:19:10,709 --> 00:19:12,243
A little respect
for the game, please.
485
00:19:12,278 --> 00:19:14,379
Now, we're not
going to go anywhere
486
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:16,481
until you drive that ball.
487
00:19:29,528 --> 00:19:30,528
Oh! Pulled it.
488
00:19:30,563 --> 00:19:32,163
Whee.
489
00:19:32,198 --> 00:19:33,398
Ahem.
490
00:19:38,938 --> 00:19:40,772
Great fucking meeting,
491
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:42,407
and they bought it in the room,
492
00:19:42,441 --> 00:19:44,709
just like I said they would.
493
00:19:44,743 --> 00:19:46,144
I am so excited, Marcy.
494
00:19:46,178 --> 00:19:48,546
I knew you had a project in you
495
00:19:48,581 --> 00:19:49,814
just waiting to get out.
496
00:19:49,849 --> 00:19:51,716
Runkle, how come
you never saw this?
497
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,318
I don't know, Stu.
498
00:19:53,352 --> 00:19:55,587
I guess I just missed it.
499
00:19:55,621 --> 00:19:58,089
Guess I missed a lot of things.
500
00:19:58,123 --> 00:20:00,024
Hey, you want come back
to my place,
501
00:20:00,059 --> 00:20:01,659
celebrate further?
502
00:20:01,694 --> 00:20:04,429
Sure.
Go get the car.
503
00:20:04,463 --> 00:20:06,431
Sorry I can't invite you,
Charlie,
504
00:20:06,465 --> 00:20:07,699
but that would be weird.
505
00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,601
I agree, Stu.
506
00:20:09,635 --> 00:20:11,836
Anyway, like I said,
I'm not interested
507
00:20:11,871 --> 00:20:13,571
in nuding up with you guys.
508
00:20:13,606 --> 00:20:16,207
Besides, Hank has fixed me up
on a blind date.
509
00:20:16,242 --> 00:20:18,076
She should be here any minute.
510
00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:21,512
Apparently, she's DTF.
511
00:20:21,547 --> 00:20:23,448
Love to hear that.
512
00:20:23,482 --> 00:20:25,383
Peace, bro.
513
00:20:29,655 --> 00:20:31,389
You really
saved my ass, Runkle.
514
00:20:31,423 --> 00:20:33,024
I did nothing of the sort.
515
00:20:33,058 --> 00:20:36,527
I just gave you
a little push, that's all.
516
00:20:36,562 --> 00:20:38,062
You did the rest.
517
00:20:40,165 --> 00:20:43,668
Okay.
518
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,838
Well, have a good night.
519
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:48,439
You too, Marce.
520
00:21:04,924 --> 00:21:07,091
Ah, you must be Charlie.
521
00:21:07,126 --> 00:21:09,761
And how would you know?
522
00:21:09,795 --> 00:21:11,963
Hank told me you were bald.
523
00:21:11,997 --> 00:21:14,232
Ha! Right.
524
00:21:14,266 --> 00:21:15,466
Of course, he did.
525
00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:18,937
He also said you fuck
like a champ.
526
00:21:18,971 --> 00:21:20,071
Nice to meet you.
527
00:21:20,105 --> 00:21:22,440
I'm number 21.
528
00:21:28,681 --> 00:21:30,248
Hey, you think I can
return these clubs
529
00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:34,185
to the pro shop
when I'm done today?
530
00:21:34,219 --> 00:21:36,721
Jesus, wow.
Mean face guy.
531
00:21:52,404 --> 00:21:54,172
Uh-oh.
532
00:21:54,206 --> 00:21:56,507
- Hey, come on.
- Come here!
533
00:21:56,542 --> 00:21:59,310
- Hank, Lloyd!
- I was raking!
534
00:21:59,345 --> 00:22:00,311
I was cleaning up.
535
00:22:00,346 --> 00:22:02,146
- Stop this!
- Come here!
536
00:22:02,181 --> 00:22:05,550
- You're acting like children.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
537
00:22:05,584 --> 00:22:07,518
- Come here!
- Ooh!
538
00:22:07,553 --> 00:22:09,587
Whoa!
539
00:22:09,621 --> 00:22:11,055
Oh, my God!
540
00:22:11,090 --> 00:22:13,358
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
541
00:22:13,392 --> 00:22:15,326
How dare your disrespect
the golf course!
542
00:22:15,361 --> 00:22:16,894
- Lloyd!
- Shut the fuck up!
543
00:22:16,929 --> 00:22:19,764
Lloyd Alan Phillips, Jr.!
544
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:23,301
- Hank, I'm sorry.
- Gentlemen, please.
545
00:22:23,335 --> 00:22:25,236
I don't know what
came over me. I'm sorry.
546
00:22:25,270 --> 00:22:27,271
I do that sometimes.
I make people angry.
547
00:22:27,306 --> 00:22:28,706
But you know
what you're gonna do now?
548
00:22:28,741 --> 00:22:30,274
What?
549
00:22:30,309 --> 00:22:32,377
You're gonna give me
back to Abby.
550
00:22:32,411 --> 00:22:35,646
Yeah, because this right here?
551
00:22:35,681 --> 00:22:37,315
This is not a love connection.
552
00:22:37,349 --> 00:22:39,117
Oh. Most certainly
is not.
553
00:22:39,151 --> 00:22:40,785
But that sexy
little legal beagle...
554
00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:42,887
That is just what
the doctor ordered for me.
555
00:22:42,921 --> 00:22:44,222
Yeah, but my word is my bond,
556
00:22:44,256 --> 00:22:46,257
and I told Abby that
I would take good care of you.
557
00:22:46,291 --> 00:22:48,526
Believe it or not, she was
taking great care of me.
558
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,961
In fact, I have never felt
559
00:22:49,995 --> 00:22:51,696
so well taken care of
by an attorney.
560
00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:53,765
- It was almost erotic.
- It's okay.
561
00:22:53,799 --> 00:22:57,101
I was feeling a little stressed,
a little overworked,
562
00:22:57,136 --> 00:22:59,003
but I learned from the best.
563
00:22:59,038 --> 00:23:00,705
Yeah, you
gotta be careful, Lloyd.
564
00:23:00,739 --> 00:23:02,507
You don't want to get another
one of those anal fissures.
565
00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:04,375
Oh, I most certainly do not.
566
00:23:04,410 --> 00:23:06,210
That was an awful time.
A terrible time.
567
00:23:06,245 --> 00:23:08,446
Like having two anuses.
568
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,048
Do you have a picture?
569
00:23:10,082 --> 00:23:12,216
- Well, I do.
- Really?
570
00:23:12,251 --> 00:23:13,718
The doctor said I was
so special,
571
00:23:13,752 --> 00:23:15,219
I'm in all the books.
572
00:23:15,254 --> 00:23:16,387
Right on.
573
00:23:19,224 --> 00:23:20,391
No, that's your kid.
574
00:23:20,426 --> 00:23:22,060
Oh, there it is.
Right the fuck on.
575
00:23:22,094 --> 00:23:23,394
Yeah.
576
00:23:23,429 --> 00:23:25,696
Looks like a map
of the Western United States.
577
00:23:31,136 --> 00:23:32,537
Ohh.
578
00:23:32,571 --> 00:23:34,439
Fine, I'll
be your attorney again.
579
00:23:34,473 --> 00:23:35,773
Really? You will?
580
00:23:35,808 --> 00:23:38,009
This is good news.
581
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:39,911
Yes. Unless I get you off,
582
00:23:39,945 --> 00:23:41,712
you'll be of no use to anyone,
583
00:23:41,747 --> 00:23:43,681
me, most importantly.
584
00:23:43,715 --> 00:23:46,951
Well, then I think you should
probably get me off then.
585
00:23:46,985 --> 00:23:48,119
Nope.
586
00:23:48,153 --> 00:23:49,720
- No more sex.
- What?
587
00:23:49,755 --> 00:23:51,823
No more sexytime?
588
00:23:51,857 --> 00:23:56,861
I mean, if I'm going to see
this through to the end,
589
00:23:56,895 --> 00:23:58,696
we can't have
a physical relationship.
590
00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:01,132
But we do have
a physical relationship.
591
00:24:01,166 --> 00:24:03,568
Not anymore, we don't.
592
00:24:03,602 --> 00:24:04,635
But...
593
00:24:04,670 --> 00:24:06,404
- But what?
- You got yours.
594
00:24:06,438 --> 00:24:07,972
I know.
595
00:24:08,006 --> 00:24:09,340
It was good too.
596
00:24:09,374 --> 00:24:11,709
I'm sorry, pal.
597
00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:13,377
Fine.
Be that way.
598
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:16,147
Oh! You can
give it up that easily?
599
00:24:16,181 --> 00:24:17,548
I'm actually insulted.
600
00:24:17,583 --> 00:24:19,350
No, no, it's not gonna
be easy, trust me.
601
00:24:19,384 --> 00:24:20,651
I got a whole movie
playing in my head,
602
00:24:20,686 --> 00:24:21,986
and it's
pretty fucking arousing.
603
00:24:22,020 --> 00:24:23,688
Mmm.
604
00:24:23,722 --> 00:24:24,722
I know that movie.
605
00:24:24,756 --> 00:24:25,823
Yeah?
606
00:24:25,858 --> 00:24:27,992
- I love that movie.
- Starring you.
607
00:24:28,026 --> 00:24:30,495
I guess it's just gonna have
to keep us going, huh?
608
00:24:30,529 --> 00:24:31,562
I guess so.
609
00:24:31,597 --> 00:24:32,630
It'll be interesting.
610
00:24:32,664 --> 00:24:34,765
What'll be interesting?
611
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,468
Well, there will come a day
612
00:24:37,503 --> 00:24:40,238
when all this horrid
legal strife is behind us.
613
00:24:40,272 --> 00:24:42,106
Oh, lord, I fucking hope so.
614
00:24:42,141 --> 00:24:46,410
And it'll be interesting
to, uh,
615
00:24:46,445 --> 00:24:49,580
see what you want then.
616
00:24:49,615 --> 00:24:51,149
You know what I mean?
617
00:24:51,183 --> 00:24:54,952
Yeah, I know what you mean.
618
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:36,127
Hey, Ben.
619
00:25:36,161 --> 00:25:38,162
How are you, Hank?
620
00:25:38,197 --> 00:25:40,131
How are you this evening?
621
00:25:42,034 --> 00:25:44,835
You know, we never really got
off on the right foot, did we?
622
00:25:44,870 --> 00:25:46,704
No, we didn't.
623
00:25:46,738 --> 00:25:48,372
That's probably my fault.
624
00:25:48,407 --> 00:25:50,208
It's definitely your fault.
625
00:25:50,242 --> 00:25:51,442
Mm.
626
00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:56,881
Your kid is talented.
627
00:25:56,915 --> 00:25:58,849
So's yours.
628
00:26:00,252 --> 00:26:02,720
Well, we got that
in common, right?
629
00:26:02,754 --> 00:26:04,021
Yeah.
630
00:26:04,056 --> 00:26:06,857
And we seem to have
the same taste in women.
631
00:26:06,892 --> 00:26:09,727
You know, Hank,
I gotta be honest with you.
632
00:26:09,761 --> 00:26:11,796
It's not what you think it is.
633
00:26:11,830 --> 00:26:15,266
Not that I don't want it
to be what you think it is,
634
00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:17,468
it's just she's not...
635
00:26:17,502 --> 00:26:19,070
She's just not there yet.
636
00:26:19,104 --> 00:26:22,673
Okay, that's good to know.
637
00:26:22,708 --> 00:26:24,909
That doesn't mean
I'm gonna stop trying.
638
00:26:24,943 --> 00:26:26,410
I wouldn't expect you to.
639
00:26:26,445 --> 00:26:28,579
If you did,
you wouldn't deserve her.
640
00:26:30,182 --> 00:26:32,483
She sure is
something special all right.
641
00:26:32,517 --> 00:26:34,652
Amen.
642
00:26:34,686 --> 00:26:40,958
♪
♪
643
00:26:40,993 --> 00:26:42,760
♪ Woke up to the sound ♪
644
00:26:42,794 --> 00:26:46,464
♪ of pouring rain ♪
645
00:26:46,498 --> 00:26:52,169
♪ The wind would whisper
and I'd think of you ♪
646
00:26:52,204 --> 00:26:54,672
♪ and all the tears
you've cried ♪
647
00:26:54,706 --> 00:26:58,609
♪ have called my name ♪
648
00:26:58,644 --> 00:27:00,878
♪ and when you needed me ♪
649
00:27:00,912 --> 00:27:04,482
♪ I came through ♪
650
00:27:04,516 --> 00:27:10,221
♪ paint a picture
of the days gone by ♪
651
00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:11,689
♪ with love I'm blind ♪
652
00:27:11,723 --> 00:27:15,860
♪ and you can make me see ♪
653
00:27:15,894 --> 00:27:22,266
♪ I'd stare a lifetime
into your eyes ♪
654
00:27:22,301 --> 00:27:28,005
♪ so that I knew that you
were there for me ♪
655
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:34,011
♪ time after time,
you were there for me ♪
656
00:27:34,046 --> 00:27:40,523
♪ Remember yesterday
walking hand in hand ♪
657
00:27:42,250 --> 00:27:52,427
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com