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Previously on
Californication...
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We could actually
use a lead guitarist.
3
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- What do you call yourselves?
- Queens of Dogtown.
4
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Shit. Fuck.
The rabbit done died.
5
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- So whose is it?
- I don't know!
6
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- Charlie's?
- Fuck, no!
7
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That kid's
all snipped to shreds.
8
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I've had
a couple of vasectomies.
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What exactly are you
saying here, doc?
10
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There still could be swimmers
in his junk?
11
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How 'bout you rewrite
the script that I loathe?
12
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With Sasha's interest,
13
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we could be at Sundance
this time next year.
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I'm trying
to make the character
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a little more likeable,
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'cause on the page,
he's an asshole.
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You understand that you are
kind of talking about me.
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Wanna know how many
women I've slept with?
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Mm-mm. No.
No, no, no.
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I gotta get it up to 100.
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I'm makin' my move.
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I'm dropping out.
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Okay, so...No movie.
24
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- What's the good news?
- The good news
25
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is that I still wanna
have sex with you.
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At least once more.
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You know,
that is pretty good news.
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Ai-yow!
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Waah! Ha ha ha!
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Zah!
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All right.
You gotta stop that.
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I'm serious, I feel
a hate crime coming on.
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No, no, no.
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Don't be hatin'
on the good news dance.
35
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Does this mean
what I think it means?
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They finally came out
with spanx for men?
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No, silly.
That was months ago.
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I'm wearing one right now,
as a matter of fact.
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Yeah, yeah, firms my chest.
Flattens my tummy.
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Here, here, feel.
You can do it, come on.
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Ooh. Rock hard.
42
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I know, right?
43
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I'm talking about myself.
I'm rock hard right now.
44
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So am I!
Get a load of this.
45
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Sasha is back on board.
46
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Sha-fa-tha!
Why? What?
47
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Why?
48
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Eddie Nero's on board.
49
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Oh. Well, that makes sense.
50
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In a crass, sleazy,
opportunistic kind of a way.
51
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Sure.
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Sasha Bingham is also starring
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in Slowly We Rot, Deux.
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Yeah. That means
nothing to me.
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It's a zombie-cop-action-thriller.
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First one did 274 domestic.
57
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Right on.
Sounds like a shit sandwich,
58
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but, hey, the girl's
gotta eat, right?
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Good for her.
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No, no, good for you!
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Because Sasha Bingham
wants her one Hank Moody
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on set to polish her dialogue.
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What makes you think
that one Hank Moody
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has any interest
in doing such a thing?
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They got 100 grand to spend
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for one week's work.
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A hundy large?
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That is a most excellent
number of quatloos!
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Sold!
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Good! 'Cause I already
said you'd do it!
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Ha ha ha!
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- Turn that over.
- Oh, yeah.
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Gimme that.
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See, it's the good news dance.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Let me guess.
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She's asking for you.
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Tell her to fuck off.
I'm smoking.
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You want me to tell her that?
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I'm comin'.
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The things we do
for quatloos, huh?
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You don't...
you don't get paid.
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First team is ready.
84
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Action!
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Die!
Die, motherfucker, die!
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And cut.
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All right, let's go again
right away.
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Reset.
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Really?
Don't you have it already?
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If I had it already,
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you'd be second-guessing me
from down here
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instead of up there, okay?
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Hank, can you pitch me
a bunch of alts for this scene?
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I don't think my character
would say this shit.
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Uh, first of all, who says
it's your fucking character?
96
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And secondly,
I don't give a fuck.
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Say the line.
Don't say the line.
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I'm going
Alan Smithee on this bitch.
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I can't work like this.
Get me down.
100
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Let's go again, okay?
Right away, right?
101
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And...Everybody.
And action!
102
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Suck my dick, asshole.
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Cut.
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Get her down.
105
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Got 15 minutes, okay?
106
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I don't want 15 minutes.
I wanna go home.
107
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You're telling me.
Fuckin' sequels.
108
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Quick.
We have 15 minutes.
109
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Well, not too quick.
110
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I thought you wanted
to work on the scene.
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Please. There is no fixing
that thing.
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I just wanted to play...
With you.
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Again?
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I'm ill a little sore
from this morning's playdate.
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Pussy.
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You know, I'm a writer, Sasha,
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not a fuck toy.
118
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Don't look now,
119
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but your manpon string
is hanging out.
120
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Ah! You see that?
You're funny.
121
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You can write your own stuff.
122
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Of course I can.
123
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But it's so lonely.
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No. No.
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You're not answering that.
Don't do it.
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You're answering it!
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I'm hating you right now.
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You know, I don't like you
when you're working.
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Just sayin'.
Hello?
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What?
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Fuck me.
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Okay. Just cut her off,
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and I'll be there
as soon as I can.
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Fuck.
135
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Where are you going?
You can't leave.
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My kid.
She's up to no good again.
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- I gotta go deal with her.
- No, no, no, no.
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You have to take care
of this kid.
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You're bought
and paid for, Moody.
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Now, there's that writer's
mind at work.
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Now we're talkin'.
142
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Mmm. Get your freak on,
officer.
143
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No. Where the fuck
are you going?
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This isn't funny, asshole.
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Fuck.
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♪ Well, I don't know why
I came here tonight ♪
147
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♪ I got the feelin'
that something ain't right ♪
148
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♪ I'm so scared
in case I fall off my chair ♪
149
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You know, Bex, you're really
making me regret
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00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:42,167
ever signing you up
for guitar lessons.
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I only ever did it
because you wanted me to.
152
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Really? It seemed to me
you were pretty into it.
153
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Yeah. I'm just trying
to make you feel bad.
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Well played, young lady.
Well played.
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You're really partying
like a rock star these days,
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- aren't ya?
- Oh, yeah.
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I'm a fuckin' rock star,
all right.
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Can't even convince a boy
to let me give him a blow job.
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Becca...
160
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What?
161
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I'm not allowed to be honest?
162
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Isn't that the Moody
family thing?
163
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Our most prized virtue?
164
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The honesty.
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Go ahead, be honest.
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Give your father
a massive coronary event.
167
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I'm not a happy camper, dad.
168
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Really?
I hadn't noticed.
169
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,947
I don't like how
things are changing.
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You're never around.
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But I'm not sure
I even miss you.
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I'll always be your father.
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No duh, dad.
174
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:43,162
But what the fuck
does that mean?
175
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,998
And you know
what really scares me?
176
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,700
What?
177
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,402
I like being fucked up.
178
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,404
Now more than ever.
179
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Is that a kid thing?
180
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,609
Or a genetic thing?
181
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,879
'Cause I'm starting
to get it now.
182
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,283
Things are way funnier
when I'm high.
183
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:08,887
And the sad stuff is just...
Way less sad.
184
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,223
It's almost...
185
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:13,292
Romantic.
186
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:17,563
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine!
187
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,032
What is the big fucking deal?
188
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:21,934
I mean, it's not like
I haven't done this before,
189
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twi... once.
190
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,637
In college.
191
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Right.
192
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,508
So let's talk about
something else,
193
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:32,177
something pleasant,
something with, uh...
194
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:35,481
Rainbows and...unicorns.
195
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,649
Stu asked me
to move in with him.
196
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,851
He did?
197
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,619
Well, I mean, that's exciting.
198
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,821
- Have you met Stu?
- No.
199
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,456
Because you won't let me.
200
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,091
Yeah, because you'll judge me.
201
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,226
That's ridiculous.
202
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,294
I've been judging you
for years.
203
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,466
Jesus!
204
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,168
That's what you call
a late-term abortion.
205
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,836
Is that shit even legal?
206
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,105
Marcy,
I don't think everyone is here
207
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,673
to have an abortion.
208
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,176
You never know, Karen.
209
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,944
Just because
we have a black president
210
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,213
doesn't mean
we talk about that shit.
211
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,450
- She looks so happy.
- Yeah, she does.
212
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,119
I have never been that happy.
213
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:17,156
Oh. Just because she doesn't
know what's ahead of her.
214
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,657
Well...
215
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,492
What if this is it?
216
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,996
What if this is my last chance
at being truly happy
217
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,765
and I'm just snuffing it out
because it's inconvenient?
218
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,268
Marce, you know what?
219
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,970
You've changed this appointment
a bunch of times.
220
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,739
I think you need
to face the fact
221
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:36,975
that there's a part of you
that wants to have a baby.
222
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,411
But that's the thing...
I don't.
223
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:42,247
I hate kids.
They're annoying little shits.
224
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,183
- Shh.
- It's a terrible burden.
225
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,351
Runkle?
226
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:47,920
Marcy Runkle?
227
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:50,589
What do you want to do, baby?
228
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:53,125
Marcy Runkle?
229
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,209
Wow. Look at you.
230
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,211
What are you...
You're such a regular,
231
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,379
you just walk on in,
they slide you your drink,
232
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,081
no questions asked?
233
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,516
Membership has its privileges,
lady.
234
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,817
Oh.
235
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,620
And I have no shame.
I need this drink.
236
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,423
And I will need another
shortly thereafter.
237
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,158
Bad day?
238
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,260
Medium shitty, yeah.
239
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,995
I hear that.
240
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,531
No stranger to misery, are ya?
241
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,801
I like that in a woman
sitting alone at a bar.
242
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,269
Tell me all your troubles.
243
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,804
Tell me what ails you.
244
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:41,173
No. It's just a bunch
of boring kid stuff.
245
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,642
I got some of that shit too.
246
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:44,877
- That's not a line?
- No, no, no.
247
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,879
I got plenty of boring,
angsty kid shit
248
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,680
that keeps me awake at night.
249
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,115
At least until I pass out.
250
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,950
Hmm.
251
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,785
Boy? Girl?
252
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,021
Girl makes it sound
so pleasant.
253
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,856
I have one big
pain-in-the-ass
254
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,224
teenage daughter.
255
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,827
Oh, my God.
That's the worst.
256
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,229
- Word.
- Hmm.
257
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,565
Well, here's to, uh...
258
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,367
Difficult daughters.
259
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,369
Cheers.
260
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,204
And, uh...
261
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,473
Here's to mothers
who drink with strangers.
262
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,675
Ah, cheers, cheers.
263
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,442
Good evening.
264
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,277
I'm sorry.
The gate was open.
265
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,413
No, I'm sorry.
About everything.
266
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,348
I'm Peggy,
your real estate agent.
267
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,749
Right, right.
268
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,418
Marcy says nice things
about you.
269
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:02,387
Well...I'm not sure
she will anymore.
270
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:05,457
Why's that?
271
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,259
Well, don't kill
the messenger, but...
272
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,094
The house has fallen
out of escrow.
273
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,129
Of course it has!
274
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,431
The buyers couldn't get a loan.
275
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,433
Of course they couldn't.
276
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,369
It looks like it's time
to put it back up on the market.
277
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,838
Okay. Um...Well, uh...
278
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,773
I-I'll talk to Marcy,
279
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,710
and we'll get back to you.
280
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,778
Okay.
281
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,718
What adult film
were you watching?
282
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,586
Excuse me?
283
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,655
You were watching
pornography, weren't you?
284
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,824
I was. Yes.
285
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:40,592
What kind?
286
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,929
Oh, you must think
I'm such a slut.
287
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,230
No, no, no, not at all.
288
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,299
You must.
Call me one... I insist.
289
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,734
- Oh, you like that.
- Uh-huh.
290
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,569
Okay. Oh, you're such
a fucking slut.
291
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,570
Oh!
292
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:52,904
Ow! What the fuck?
293
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,506
You can choke me
if you want to.
294
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,208
No, no, I'm really
not into that.
295
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,977
I had a bad experience with
autoerotic asphyxia recently.
296
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,479
Really?
Tell me all about it.
297
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:04,049
- Some other time, okay?
- I just wanna feel something!
298
00:13:04,083 --> 00:13:05,884
Oh!
Ohh!
299
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,220
Pretend my father
could walk in at any second.
300
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,522
- This is my house.
- Just pretend!
301
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,224
Okay, okay, okay.
302
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,359
I think I hear your father
in the hallway.
303
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,328
Oh, no, I wanna stop,
but I can't!
304
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,631
Your big black cock
feels so good!
305
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,967
Yeah? That's him.
There he is.
306
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:23,835
I see him coming in the room.
307
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,638
Daddy, no!
I'm a big girl now.
308
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,174
- Is he still here?
- No, he went to get his gun.
309
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,610
Aah!
310
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,814
He's gonna kill
both of us, Charlie.
311
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,650
Daddy doesn't like it
when I fuck the slaves.
312
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:46,925
Oh, God,
that was fucking intense.
313
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:50,028
I almost wanted
to fuck you to death.
314
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,130
But in a good way, you know?
315
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,336
Whoo!
316
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,504
Yes.
317
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,006
You know what I like about you?
318
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,675
Hmm?
319
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,444
I mean, aside from the fact
320
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,013
that you're like seven different
kinds of naked right now.
321
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,215
Oh, my God.
322
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:13,352
Do you have any idea
how nice that sounds?
323
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:16,388
You know how long it's been
since a guy has said that to me?
324
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,156
I'm sorry, go ahead.
What were you gonna say?
325
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,526
- What do you like about me?
- You're very age-appropriate.
326
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,398
Wow. You really know
how to piss all over
327
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,400
- a girl's happy buzz.
- No, no, that's a good thing.
328
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,769
I think it means maybe
I'm growin' the fuck up.
329
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,407
- That's very good for you.
- Yep.
330
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:43,014
But I am leaving for
New York in a couple days.
331
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,282
I didn't mean to suggest
332
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,817
that we had a future
or anything.
333
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,019
You really are quite
the romantic, aren't you?
334
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,088
Fuck. Everything's
coming out wrong this morning.
335
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,390
I know.
Next thing you know,
336
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,325
you're gonna say something
less than flattering
337
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:56,161
- about my ass.
- Nope. No way.
338
00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,063
That thing is bulletproof.
339
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,665
That is an ass
wrapped in kevlar.
340
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,234
If you said to me, "Hank...
341
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:03,902
All you can do right now
is eat that ass,"
342
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:06,972
I would put on a lobster bib
and eat that ass.
343
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:09,341
For hours.
With gusto.
344
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:12,544
Thank you.
My ass thanks you.
345
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,246
Your ass is welcome.
346
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,017
And don't worry.
I had a little bit of fun.
347
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,353
A little bit of fun it was.
348
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,622
And, uh, I think that
we should do it again.
349
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,590
'Cause you know...
350
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,559
I'm here a couple times a year,
351
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,960
checking up on my daughter.
352
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,562
Yeah?
353
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,063
What does she do?
354
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,377
Aah!
355
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:46,778
Not a good time.
356
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:47,913
Don't worry, girly man.
357
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,714
I'm all about
the work right now.
358
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:51,149
Yeah, well,
I've kinda got some...
359
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,952
- Company.
- Oh...I see.
360
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,922
It's cool.
I know we're not exclusive.
361
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,690
I see other people too,
you know?
362
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:01,259
Mm. Yeah, well,
I know that.
363
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,061
Course you do.
364
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:05,931
Yeah, but like...
How many?
365
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,599
I'm not some big
fucking slut, Hank.
366
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,234
Oh, no, no, no,
I'm not judging.
367
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,802
I'm just...
I'm just curious.
368
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,771
Well, I did sleep with
Eddie Nero.
369
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,440
Gross!
That is disgusting!
370
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,908
He poops on people.
371
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:20,245
And he took a man
in his mouth once.
372
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:23,915
Okay, come on.
373
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,383
I need to go over
today's pages.
374
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,853
I can't say this shit.
It's all exposition.
375
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,224
I'm gonna give you my notes,
376
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,259
and I have to go meet
my mother for breakfast.
377
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,694
Your mother?
378
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,128
Yeah, she's in town
from New York.
379
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,763
She comes in every once
in a while to check on me
380
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,432
and make sure I'm grounded.
381
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,300
Your mom.
382
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,902
Uh...
383
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,470
Are you having a stroke?
384
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,372
- Eh...
- You sound kind of retarded
385
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,875
- all of a sudden.
- Mama.
386
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,910
I saw we go once more,
'cause you know, I do not think
387
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,679
that I sucked enough of
your dick last night.
388
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,748
Sasha!
389
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,183
Mom?
390
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,018
- Mom?
- Uh...
391
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:02,354
You fucked my mom?
392
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:03,889
Oh!
393
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:06,591
Dude!
That was seriously uncool!
394
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:11,363
I think I... I gotta go
after her.
395
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:12,597
Yeah, I think you better put on
396
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:13,999
some clothes first, though.
397
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,668
Oh! Good idea.
398
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,538
I...H-how
do you know my daughter?
399
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,072
I'm kinda writing
something for her.
400
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,841
- Poor baby.
- Yeah, it turns out
401
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,743
she's really quite
the fucking diva, huh?
402
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,044
No. Poor baby her.
403
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,579
It doesn't matter
how old you get,
404
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,414
it's always gonna be
really weird
405
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,850
to see your mother
in a sexual situation.
406
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,184
Yeah. Especially
when you've already
407
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,887
been with the awesome dude
your mom just boned.
408
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,223
- Right.
- Yeah.
409
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,227
- What?
- What?
410
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:44,195
I'm sorry, did you just say
what I think you said,
411
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,797
which is that you
slept with my daughter?
412
00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:46,965
No, no, no.
413
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,133
No, you're lying now,
because you did.
414
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,467
You misunderstood.
415
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:52,437
I was merely talking about
writers and actresses
416
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:54,105
and Marilyn Monroe
and Arthur Miller
417
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:57,075
and how that shit
never seems to work out.
418
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:58,443
She's a fucking kid!
419
00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:00,145
You fucked my fucking kid.
420
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:03,048
That's not very age-appropriate,
now is it, you asshole?
421
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,783
Touche.
422
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,790
Sasha, dear...Hello.
423
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,225
Can you come out and play?
424
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,928
It's quite warm out here.
Do you know why?
425
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:20,031
Because we're burning money.
It's a bonfire of cash.
426
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:24,436
I'm fucked.
My career is over.
427
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:27,439
Settle down, Alfred Bitchcock.
Let me try.
428
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:29,674
You didn't sleep with her,
did you?
429
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:33,178
No way. That's what
the extras are for.
430
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,679
Sasha.
431
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,981
It's Henry Moody.
432
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,983
The writer.
Remember me?
433
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:40,585
The polisher of your
crackling exposition.
434
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,455
I'd like a word
with you, please.
435
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,190
One word.
436
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:47,959
Ah.
437
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,430
If it's any consolation,
438
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,200
your mother smacked me
upside the head pretty good.
439
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:58,269
And my balls are killing me.
440
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,005
I'm just grossed out right now.
441
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,874
Well, that's...
that's pretty normal.
442
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,609
How would you know?
443
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,211
Well, believe it or not,
444
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:08,847
I once bumped uglies with my
daughter's boyfriend's mother.
445
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,116
That was a terrible time.
We got through it, though.
446
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,550
This too shall pass.
447
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,252
Do you know what
the worst part is?
448
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,554
No.
But tell me.
449
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:21,026
I was really starting
to like you.
450
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,961
Oh.
Well...
451
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,362
Despite the fact that I am
452
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,197
this swirling black hole
of chaos,
453
00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:28,199
I am pretty fucking awesome
sometimes.
454
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,972
- Best sex of my life.
- Really?
455
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,306
Better than Eddie Nero?
456
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,676
- Weirdest sex of my life.
- I don't wanna know.
457
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,544
- Do I?
- No. You don't.
458
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:42,781
- I'm still haunted by it.
- Hmm!
459
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:45,650
- The things he made me do.
- Jesus!
460
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,719
Hey, don't blame your mom...
461
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,921
Because she didn't know
anything,
462
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,990
and don't take it out
on these good people out there.
463
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,925
They work their fucking
asses off.
464
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,594
You should be happy
you're Sasha fucking Bingham,
465
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,663
America's sweetheart,
the girl next door,
466
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,131
the dirty girl next door.
467
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,967
That's the bestest kind.
468
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,803
Uh-oh.
469
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,972
Mmm...
470
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,508
- Weird?
- Oddly, no.
471
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,278
But I'm really good
at compartmentalizing shit.
472
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,420
You are one dirty cop.
473
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,090
Sometimes I hate
my conscience...
474
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,858
Whoa!
475
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,960
But right now it's telling me
476
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,962
that this may not be
the best idea.
477
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:32,797
Yeah?
Well, it's the only way
478
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,632
you're gonna get me
back out there.
479
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,868
Oh, well.
In that case...
480
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:46,945
Hey!
481
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:50,749
Well...
482
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,288
This is a fine
how-do-you-do.
483
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,367
We need to talk business,
Marcy.
484
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:11,236
What?
485
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,972
Okay.
486
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,875
I mean, if you're
gonna do it, just do it.
487
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,511
I'm a man.
Sorta.
488
00:21:19,545 --> 00:21:22,514
I mean, I-I can take it.
I think.
489
00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:24,816
What the fuck are you
talking about, Stu?
490
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:27,819
It's just you're so quiet,
and that is weird.
491
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:31,322
I mean, usually
you're yakking up a storm and...
492
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:34,626
I've become quite fond of
that obscene verbal diarrhea.
493
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:36,394
That's lovely.
494
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:38,229
And disgusting, Stu.
Thanks.
495
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:39,697
In my experience,
496
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,733
when a woman has run out
of things to say to me,
497
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,101
done.
498
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,804
Time to throw another
ex-wife on the fire.
499
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:48,006
I wasn't planning on
breaking up with you, Stu.
500
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,975
Not anytime soon, anyway.
501
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:54,879
Well, I'm guessing
you're not moving in with me.
502
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:57,148
Look, man, we could talk about
503
00:21:57,183 --> 00:22:00,318
the shacking up shit later,
okay?
504
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:06,491
But I do...have to be honest with you.
505
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:08,660
It's my penis, isn't it?
506
00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:10,495
- What?
- The size.
507
00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:12,997
It hurts you, doesn't it?
God damn it!
508
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:15,400
No! Your penis
is fine, Stu.
509
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,001
Fine?
Fine?
510
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:20,071
Yes.
Fine. In a good way.
511
00:22:20,105 --> 00:22:21,706
In the best possible way.
512
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:24,175
I mean, and I've seen some
weird, fucked-up wangs
513
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:26,144
in my day, so good on you.
514
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,213
Okay.
515
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:30,748
Then honesty it is...
Okay?
516
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,584
Come on, baby.
Go for it.
517
00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:33,952
I'm all ears.
518
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,958
I'm pregnant.
519
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,343
Oh, God, Stu.
Please don't cry.
520
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,778
No. It's not what you think!
521
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:04,048
Not what I think?
It's not a fucking miracle?
522
00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:07,518
- Hardly.
- I'm gonna be a father!
523
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:08,820
No. Stu! Stuart!
524
00:23:08,854 --> 00:23:11,189
You are not letting me tell you
what's going on.
525
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,624
You mean you're not keeping it?
526
00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:14,726
- You're gonna get rid of it?
- No. I'm keeping it.
527
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,960
Oh, thank God, thank God.
528
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,428
I thought about doing the deed,
529
00:23:17,463 --> 00:23:19,097
but I couldn't
go through with it.
530
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:21,099
But there is this other thing.
531
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:22,133
Ow! What?
532
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,869
- Charlie.
- Runkle? Oh, God!
533
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,371
I didn't even think of that.
534
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,939
Oh, my God,
he must be so upset!
535
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:29,274
Poor bastard!
536
00:23:29,308 --> 00:23:31,643
Well...
537
00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:32,644
Ah!
538
00:23:32,678 --> 00:23:34,078
It's mother!
539
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,247
- Oh.
- What am I gonna tell her?
540
00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:38,716
I gotta tell her
the truth, obviously.
541
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:40,718
- Obviously.
- Hello, mother?
542
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,654
Guess what.
543
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,756
I'm gonna be a father.
544
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,257
Yeah!
545
00:23:46,292 --> 00:23:49,994
Talk about
the goddamn Christmas miracle!
546
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:54,565
♪
♪
547
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:05,176
Oh, boy.
548
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,715
Fucking kids.
549
00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:13,918
They're just
a terrible burden, aren't they?
550
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,553
Ever feel like
you're losing the war?
551
00:24:15,587 --> 00:24:18,589
Um, yeah. I think that
I'm in touch with that emotion.
552
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,925
What the fuck
are we supposed to do?
553
00:24:22,394 --> 00:24:23,728
Hope for the best.
554
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,797
Plan for the worst and...
555
00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:27,465
Set a good example.
556
00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:28,733
I don't know...
just embrace the fact
557
00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:30,635
that we're all a bunch
of fucking hypocrites.
558
00:24:30,669 --> 00:24:31,769
True dat.
559
00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:34,005
Oh.
560
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:36,474
- I still hate you.
- I know, I know.
561
00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:39,911
But I need you right now,
because I'm in over my head
562
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:41,779
and I feel like
I'm losing my shit.
563
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:44,048
Honey...Come here.
It's okay.
564
00:24:44,083 --> 00:24:46,384
Listen.
565
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:49,320
What say you to a couple of
566
00:24:49,355 --> 00:24:50,722
room service burgers
567
00:24:50,756 --> 00:24:52,757
and an $18 hotel movie?
568
00:24:52,791 --> 00:24:54,625
That sounds
pretty fucking awesome.
569
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:55,994
Can I come?
570
00:24:56,028 --> 00:24:57,495
I'm not talking to you
right now.
571
00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:59,597
Sure.
I get it.
572
00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:00,865
But if I were,
573
00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:03,634
I'd probably apologize
for my behavior today.
574
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:07,505
Well, if you were actually
speaking to me
575
00:25:07,539 --> 00:25:09,474
and you actually
said something like that,
576
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:12,844
I might even respond
by saying that I deserved it.
577
00:25:12,878 --> 00:25:17,982
And maybe I'd even apologize
and say that I was sorry...
578
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:19,617
For everything.
579
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:22,553
- Maybe?
- Definitely.
580
00:25:24,590 --> 00:25:26,057
I'll see you upstairs.
581
00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:28,092
Yes. I'll be up
in a second.
582
00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:41,005
- You know, it's funny.
- Hmm?
583
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,307
It doesn't matter
how rich, how famous.
584
00:25:43,342 --> 00:25:45,009
They're all just little kids
585
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:47,111
who need their mommies
and their daddies.
586
00:25:47,146 --> 00:25:49,414
Here's hoping.
587
00:25:49,448 --> 00:25:52,283
And I know I don't
really know you that well,
588
00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:53,651
so...this might be
out of line,
589
00:25:53,685 --> 00:25:55,253
but I'm gonna say it anyway.
590
00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:56,454
- You don't have to.
- I'm gonna.
591
00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:57,688
All right.
592
00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:01,259
You...are coming
dangerously close
593
00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:03,528
to the point of no return.
594
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,630
What does that mean?
595
00:26:05,664 --> 00:26:07,732
This thing
that you got going...
596
00:26:07,766 --> 00:26:12,270
It's very romantic and charming
and certainly devil-may-care.
597
00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:13,704
But...
598
00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:16,808
It's last call, pal.
599
00:26:16,842 --> 00:26:20,645
You should get out
while the getting's good.
600
00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:23,147
What if it's already too late?
601
00:26:24,450 --> 00:26:25,950
Oh. Well...
602
00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:27,718
Could be.
I don't know.
603
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:29,720
Certainly doesn't mean
that you shouldn't try.
604
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,158
Meanwhile...
605
00:26:34,193 --> 00:26:36,160
Why don't you...
606
00:26:36,195 --> 00:26:38,496
Keep your grubby fucking
paws off my daughter, yeah?
607
00:26:38,530 --> 00:26:40,331
Yes, ma'am.
608
00:26:43,469 --> 00:26:46,270
♪ Take me to your heart ♪
609
00:26:46,305 --> 00:26:50,308
♪ feel me in your bones ♪
610
00:26:50,342 --> 00:26:52,376
♪ just one more night ♪
611
00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:55,146
♪ and I'm comin' off this ♪
612
00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:57,248
♪ long and windy road ♪
613
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,785
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
614
00:27:00,819 --> 00:27:04,789
♪ I'm on my way ♪
615
00:27:04,823 --> 00:27:07,792
♪ I'm on my way ♪
616
00:27:07,826 --> 00:27:11,095
♪ home sweet home ♪
617
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:12,897
♪
♪
618
00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:15,266
♪ tonight, tonight ♪
619
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:18,703
♪ I'm on my way ♪
620
00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:21,772
♪ I'm on my way ♪
621
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:25,042
♪ home sweet home ♪
622
00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:26,277
Whoo!
623
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:36,280
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com