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Previously on Californication...
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It's yo agent, calling from the coast,
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with the prospect of
a significant payday.
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I'll take it.
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00:00:09,347 --> 00:00:10,981
Oh, shit.
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Man, what are the odds?
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I end up next to
the most beautiful woman
8
00:00:13,954 --> 00:00:16,592
in the Tri-state area, and I go
and spill a drink in her lap.
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00:00:18,364 --> 00:00:21,534
Guess we shouldn't ruin it by
keeping in touch or anything.
10
00:00:21,569 --> 00:00:24,071
Alas, this one's
not your lady anymore, Hank.
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00:00:24,106 --> 00:00:25,605
- He's like you...
- Bates.
12
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,974
But awesome.
13
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- How's Becca?
- Boyfriend.
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Now, I want to kill him, Hank.
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We're keeping it simple.
16
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I come in peace, okay?
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The kid's a loathsome fuckin' asshole.
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Great seeing you, dad.
Always a pleasure.
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- He wants Hank to come to him.
- Who the fuck is "he"?
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00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:43,960
Samurai Apocalypse.
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I need your words.
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What the fuck else you gonna do,
write another book?
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Fuck that, let's get paid,
motherfucker.
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Moody, this is Kali.
Remember this name, Kali, yo.
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Oh, my word.
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I don't think
this is such a good idea.
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Why?
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Was I doing something wrong?
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Oh, no, no, no.
That was world class.
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Some girls are timid
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and lack focus, but you,
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you should be in porn.
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Hmm?
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But only if you want to be.
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You are not taking this in the
spirit in which it was intended.
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Mm-mmm.
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Mmm.
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Allow me to explain.
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No, allow me, motherfucker!
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Die!
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Die, motherfucker!
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Yaaaah!
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Whoo!
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Charlie, thank God.
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00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:04,178
You weren't just blowin' me
right now, were you?
46
00:02:04,213 --> 00:02:06,915
No, sirree, I most certainly was not.
47
00:02:06,949 --> 00:02:09,652
- Not even a little bit?
- No. No.
48
00:02:09,687 --> 00:02:12,022
Your Magic Johnson was
nowhere near my oral cavity.
49
00:02:12,056 --> 00:02:14,124
I did just beat off
in the shower, though.
50
00:02:14,158 --> 00:02:17,228
Yeah. I even got a little cum
on my foot, right here.
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00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,399
Don't worry, washed right off.
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You are a fuckin' animal,
you know that?
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Goddamn L.A.
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I only have dreams like this
when I'm here.
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Hey, now.
You relax.
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Have yourself a cup of black gold.
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Hey, you know what we'll do?
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We will--we will
take a walk along the beach,
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00:02:40,721 --> 00:02:44,424
we'll gaze upon
some foxy Malibu hard bodies.
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Fuck that shit.
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Can you get me on a plane back
to New York tonight, please?
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What about Samurai Apocalypse?
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What about him?
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He wants you, and only you.
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He loves your black ass.
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Well, it's always nice
to have one's black ass wanted,
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00:02:59,674 --> 00:03:02,543
but I'm not sure if
the feelings are reciprocated.
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00:03:02,577 --> 00:03:05,546
Well, then you'll have to tell him.
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00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,916
That's your job, agent.
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00:03:07,950 --> 00:03:10,519
He is a very important client, Hank.
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- This needs to be finessed.
- And if it isn't?
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Then I will be very upset with you.
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And what would that entail, exactly?
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I'm not sure exactly.
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But it will probably involve
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not returning your calls
in a timely manner.
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Oh, no.
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Aw, fuck.
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Yo-la.
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Becca is really upset with you.
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Yeah, that's sort of
a trending topic right now.
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I just think you should
try and make it up to her
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before you leave town.
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White woman, please.
She'll thank me later.
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Maybe, but you know, in the meantime,
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you could kiss and make nice.
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She's your only daughter.
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Oh, thank God.
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What?
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00:03:51,562 --> 00:03:52,662
What are you doin' over there?
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00:03:52,697 --> 00:03:53,697
Are you and Bates
playin' grab-ass?
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- Stop.
- Woman--
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00:03:55,099 --> 00:03:56,166
- Stop.
- Be a professional,
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for Christ's sake.
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Does--d-d-does Becca need
an iPad or something like that?
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00:04:02,207 --> 00:04:03,174
- What?
- Bye, Hank.
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00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,943
Ka--
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00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,211
Charlie, can you get me an iPad?
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00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,981
Most certainly, if you
sit down with the Samurai.
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00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,517
You're a real twatty
fuckin' cunt, you know that?
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00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,286
Twat? Twat?
I cunt hear you.
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I've got
an ear in-fuck-tion.
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I'll finger it out later.
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You still got some cum on your foot.
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Made you look.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
107
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Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Becca Moody.
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Ta-da!
109
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Ta-da.
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Oh, you have one already?
111
00:05:33,504 --> 00:05:35,371
I'm not 12.
You can't bribe me anymore.
112
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Well, you can,
113
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but you have to adjust
for lifestyle and inflation.
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I am not tryin' to bribe you, sweetie.
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I'm just tryin'
to weaken your steely resolve
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to hate the old man.
117
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I don't hate you.
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I'm just disappointed
that you don't trust me,
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and that you can't put aside all
your petty judgmental bullshit
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for the duration of one simple dinner.
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That's fair.
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But he was kind of a tool.
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This is how you say you're sorry?
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You're right.
125
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Let's--let's switch gears.
126
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What?
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00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:08,804
Mmm.
128
00:06:10,474 --> 00:06:11,908
What,
you don't want to man-pound?
129
00:06:11,942 --> 00:06:14,577
Not really. Especially
when you put it that way.
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Okay, fine, be that way, dude.
131
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- What are you doin' here?
- I go here.
132
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Aren't you a little old for college?
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What are you, on the
six-year plan, Stephen Hawking?
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It's called grad school.
I'm a T.A.
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- It's how we met.
- Mm-hmm.
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Hey, that's against the rules.
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Dad, during your tenure
as a college professor,
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you slept with your T.A.,
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the Dean's wife,
and one of your students.
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00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:34,731
She was a stripper, too.
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Way to go, Hank.
Up high.
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00:06:37,969 --> 00:06:39,036
If you must know,
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00:06:39,070 --> 00:06:40,704
that was a particularly
tough time for me.
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00:06:40,738 --> 00:06:42,005
- I was not well.
- Mm-hmm.
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And I have
learned from my mistakes.
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This is not going as I had hoped.
147
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iPad 2?
Very nice.
148
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He tried to bribe me with it.
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00:06:51,216 --> 00:06:53,684
- You already have one.
- That she does.
150
00:06:53,718 --> 00:06:55,952
Well, I don't already have one.
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00:07:04,161 --> 00:07:06,028
Wow.
152
00:07:06,062 --> 00:07:07,229
Thanks, Hank.
153
00:07:07,263 --> 00:07:08,396
You're really startin' to grow on me.
154
00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:09,430
Pink, though?
155
00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:11,466
Is that--
Whatever, I'll take it.
156
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Mmm.
157
00:07:14,904 --> 00:07:18,740
Put my daughter
back on the ground, please.
158
00:07:27,784 --> 00:07:29,618
Fredo, how's it hanging?
159
00:07:29,652 --> 00:07:33,555
Oh, quite low, sir.
160
00:07:33,590 --> 00:07:35,357
Is the master expecting you?
161
00:07:35,392 --> 00:07:37,091
No, this is more of a cold call.
162
00:07:37,126 --> 00:07:39,928
- Oh, do please come in, sir.
- Thank you.
163
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Hey.
164
00:07:51,674 --> 00:07:53,174
What the fuck are you doing here?
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I might ask you
the very same question.
166
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It's complicated.
167
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I'm guessing
he doesn't know we're married.
168
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,883
You're funny.
169
00:08:00,917 --> 00:08:02,317
And we just made out...
on a plane.
170
00:08:02,352 --> 00:08:06,087
We were up in the air.
What's the big deal?
171
00:08:06,122 --> 00:08:08,456
You know, he has guns,
172
00:08:08,491 --> 00:08:11,692
and samurai swords.
173
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I had a dream about you last night.
174
00:08:14,129 --> 00:08:15,329
Really?
175
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,598
Mm-hmm.
You know what's funny?
176
00:08:17,633 --> 00:08:20,767
That little high school
make out session of ours,
177
00:08:20,802 --> 00:08:23,103
I can't stop thinkin' about it.
178
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You?
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00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:26,240
Never.
180
00:08:26,274 --> 00:08:28,041
- Ever.
- Hmm.
181
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:32,345
You have extremely moist lips.
They're like kissable cupcakes.
182
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,081
It's as if sprinkles and crumbs
got together...
183
00:08:34,115 --> 00:08:35,849
And made sweet love
184
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:41,756
and had these delicious little
smoochable cupcake babies.
185
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:43,191
Hank Moody!
186
00:08:43,225 --> 00:08:45,093
'Sup, nigga?
187
00:08:45,128 --> 00:08:46,862
Better not be hittin' on my girl.
188
00:08:46,896 --> 00:08:49,699
- I'm not your girl, Calvin.
- Ooh, Calvin?
189
00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:52,201
Just playin', baby.
What you doin' here, man?
190
00:08:52,236 --> 00:08:54,070
You should be in Starbucks
writin' me some funny shit,
191
00:08:54,104 --> 00:08:55,805
some funny, quotable shit, too, nigga.
192
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:59,208
Yeah, uh, that's the thing.
I don't think I can do it.
193
00:08:59,242 --> 00:09:00,409
What the fuck are you
talkin' about, man?
194
00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:01,843
What, they ain't payin' you enough?
195
00:09:01,877 --> 00:09:03,678
No, no, it-it's not the money.
I just don't want to.
196
00:09:03,712 --> 00:09:04,979
Why, because I'm black?
197
00:09:05,014 --> 00:09:06,047
No, it's not 'cause you're black.
198
00:09:06,082 --> 00:09:07,315
I love the fact that you're black.
199
00:09:07,349 --> 00:09:08,716
What, it's because
I got a white butler?
200
00:09:08,751 --> 00:09:10,685
No, I love the fact
that you got a white butler.
201
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:11,886
Alfred is awesome.
202
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,320
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- Respect.
203
00:09:13,355 --> 00:09:15,056
Oh, this is because
you hate hip-hop, right?
204
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,523
No! Well, yeah,
I do hate hip-hop,
205
00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:17,892
but that's not why.
206
00:09:17,926 --> 00:09:19,193
Oh, you're just mad
'cause I be dealin'
207
00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:20,494
with that crazy-ass pussy,
huh?
208
00:09:20,529 --> 00:09:23,197
No, I fucked
all sorts of crazy pussy, too.
209
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:24,831
Nigga, you don't be fuckin'
the kinda crazy pussy
210
00:09:24,866 --> 00:09:26,600
I be fuckin'.
Tell him, Alfred.
211
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:29,202
Nigger, you don't be fuckin'
the same kind of crazy pussy
212
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,403
as he be fuckin', sir.
213
00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:33,040
You'd be surprised, both of you.
214
00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:35,075
Yeah, right, like this
fine-ass bitch right here.
215
00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:36,710
Will you stop callin' me
a fuckin' bitch, please?
216
00:09:36,745 --> 00:09:38,445
Come on, mama, just peacockin', baby.
217
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,181
She is a beautiful woman.
True dat.
218
00:09:41,216 --> 00:09:43,150
What's with the use
of all this urban patois, man?
219
00:09:43,185 --> 00:09:45,219
Hey, it's the A-B-Cs of me,
baby.
220
00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:49,791
Aw, fuck.
Yo, I gotta be somewhere, man.
221
00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:50,926
Come with me, yo.
222
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,160
Gimme one day and I'm gonna show you
223
00:09:52,195 --> 00:09:54,429
why you want to be
in the Apocalypse business, man.
224
00:09:56,198 --> 00:09:57,265
He did what?
225
00:09:57,299 --> 00:09:59,067
Are you gonna make her repeat it?
226
00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:00,768
I need to understand.
227
00:10:00,803 --> 00:10:02,537
You're saying he took it out.
228
00:10:02,571 --> 00:10:04,005
He took his penis out,
229
00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:06,674
and he was masturbating
in front of Ava.
230
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:07,876
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
231
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:10,612
- Masturbating?
- Poor little Ava.
232
00:10:10,646 --> 00:10:13,481
She's so cute, but she's
a little tweaked, though, right?
233
00:10:13,515 --> 00:10:14,915
- You gotta admit.
- You can't even call it
234
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:16,684
masturbation, I mean,
he's-- he's barely three.
235
00:10:16,718 --> 00:10:17,818
Can you cover that--
cover it up.
236
00:10:17,853 --> 00:10:19,420
Well, his penis was fully erect,
237
00:10:19,454 --> 00:10:21,255
and he was manipulating it.
238
00:10:21,289 --> 00:10:23,123
Sounds like he was experimenting.
239
00:10:23,157 --> 00:10:25,592
Or maybe he just intended to be funny.
240
00:10:25,627 --> 00:10:27,460
You know, bring
a little sunshine into her day.
241
00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:30,363
I blame you, Charlie.
Like father, like son.
242
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:31,798
Oh, yeah, right,
the day you--
243
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,800
Charlie, Marcy, this is not
the time or the place
244
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,168
for the blame game.
245
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,904
How can we repair this?
246
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,272
Ava's mother was horrified.
247
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,607
- Sure.
- Oh, it's terrible.
248
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,676
And, she's threatening
to pull her out of school.
249
00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:43,844
That would be bad.
250
00:10:43,878 --> 00:10:45,345
We'd rather that not happen, so...
251
00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:47,414
Perhaps an apology.
252
00:10:47,449 --> 00:10:50,251
How about a sizable donation?
253
00:10:50,285 --> 00:10:51,987
Well, that would be helpful as well.
254
00:10:52,021 --> 00:10:53,422
- Done.
- I'm sure.
255
00:10:53,456 --> 00:10:54,423
- Thank you.
- Very helpful.
256
00:10:54,457 --> 00:10:56,826
Now if you'll excuse me.
257
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:02,532
Great. You write the check.
I'll press the flesh.
258
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:03,634
Come on, we have the nanny interviews.
259
00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:04,668
I know, I know.
260
00:11:04,703 --> 00:11:06,604
What happened to Irma?
"I put perfect."
261
00:11:06,638 --> 00:11:08,205
Marcy gave her the axe.
262
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,607
What?
263
00:11:09,641 --> 00:11:11,642
Involve the father, maybe?
264
00:11:11,676 --> 00:11:14,011
Are you gonna be paying their salary?
265
00:11:14,045 --> 00:11:15,846
No, but she's gonna spend
a lot of time around my son,
266
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,648
and I should be given
meaningful consultation.
267
00:11:17,682 --> 00:11:19,016
Fine. Fine.
We'll narrow it down.
268
00:11:19,050 --> 00:11:20,250
We'll bring you in
for call-backs, okay?
269
00:11:20,285 --> 00:11:23,053
- Stuart!
- Right, I'm coming.
270
00:11:27,725 --> 00:11:29,959
♪ I love my niggas to death
down to the last breath ♪
271
00:11:29,994 --> 00:11:32,496
♪ but the last breath,
I'ma save for myself ♪
272
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:35,832
What the fuck?
Don't mess with my music, man.
273
00:11:35,866 --> 00:11:37,534
That's my shit, motherfucker.
That's me.
274
00:11:37,568 --> 00:11:38,801
All right, how am I supposed to know?
275
00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:40,303
That could be Run D.M.C.,
for all right I know.
276
00:11:40,338 --> 00:11:42,472
Man, you don't know shit
about hip-hop, do you?
277
00:11:42,507 --> 00:11:44,875
No, I'm more of
a classic rock guy, you know,
278
00:11:44,909 --> 00:11:45,943
Zeppelin, The Who, Zevon...
279
00:11:45,977 --> 00:11:47,511
Oh!
280
00:11:47,545 --> 00:11:49,580
- Air supply.
- Oh, no.
281
00:11:49,614 --> 00:11:51,616
All that fuckin' dinosaur shit
sound the same to me.
282
00:11:51,650 --> 00:11:54,451
See, this is a real
ebony and ivory moment here.
283
00:11:54,486 --> 00:11:57,787
We hate each other's music,
which makes us different,
284
00:11:57,821 --> 00:11:59,155
but kinda the same.
285
00:11:59,189 --> 00:12:00,823
- Uh, huh.
- Feel me?
286
00:12:00,857 --> 00:12:03,025
- Yeah, I feel you.
- Want a man pound?
287
00:12:03,059 --> 00:12:04,693
- No.
- Little dap?
288
00:12:04,727 --> 00:12:06,094
Gonna leave me hangin'?
289
00:12:06,129 --> 00:12:08,864
- Hang, motherfucker.
- Oh, now this I like.
290
00:12:08,898 --> 00:12:10,332
Oh, that's Kali, man.
291
00:12:10,366 --> 00:12:12,901
Fuckin' voice of an angel.
292
00:12:12,935 --> 00:12:15,671
- Church.
- I tell you something, Moody.
293
00:12:15,705 --> 00:12:17,873
I been around the world, man,
I railed many bitches, man,
294
00:12:17,907 --> 00:12:20,776
but this one right here,
she's somethin' special, man.
295
00:12:20,811 --> 00:12:24,814
I think she gonna be a big star.
296
00:12:24,849 --> 00:12:27,217
This car is givin' me
the fuckin' creeps.
297
00:12:27,252 --> 00:12:29,687
I feel like we're about to
roll into the Warsaw ghetto.
298
00:12:29,721 --> 00:12:31,522
Oh, shit, I ain't never been there.
299
00:12:31,556 --> 00:12:34,257
How the fuck is the food?
300
00:12:34,292 --> 00:12:36,093
Scarce.
301
00:12:36,127 --> 00:12:38,728
♪ Just so I can maintain ♪
302
00:12:38,762 --> 00:12:40,630
♪ he's livin' for his life,
and in two left shoes ♪
303
00:12:40,664 --> 00:12:44,233
♪ livin' for his life,
and in two left shoes ♪
304
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,467
What are we doin' here?
305
00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:49,670
Big Hollywood meetin', man.
Look alive.
306
00:12:49,705 --> 00:12:52,940
- Pete Berg.
- Hey, hey, Sam.
307
00:12:52,974 --> 00:12:54,709
Sss, sss!
308
00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:57,345
Lookin' good, man.
Concrete, concrete, baby.
309
00:12:57,379 --> 00:13:00,916
Hank Moody, writer/rapist.
310
00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:02,651
What's up?
311
00:13:02,685 --> 00:13:04,720
How you doin'?
Good to meet you.
312
00:13:04,754 --> 00:13:07,189
Uh, actually I think we know
some of the same people.
313
00:13:07,223 --> 00:13:09,225
In fact, I actually think we've been
314
00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:11,894
inside some of the same people,
if you know what I'm saying.
315
00:13:11,928 --> 00:13:13,462
Yeah, I think I do know
what you're saying,
316
00:13:13,497 --> 00:13:14,863
and I think it's creepin' me out.
317
00:13:14,898 --> 00:13:17,265
Yeah, well, uh,
we got a meetin', so, see ya.
318
00:13:17,299 --> 00:13:18,800
All right, cool.
I'll be at the bar.
319
00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:20,501
No, no.
Hold on, whoa, hold on.
320
00:13:20,536 --> 00:13:22,603
Nah, he's with me, yo.
He's gonna be writin' my shit.
321
00:13:22,638 --> 00:13:23,671
Oh, come on.
322
00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:26,007
No way, man.
I mean, no disrespect.
323
00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:28,977
Sam, I just did a serious
rewrite on the script, I mean--
324
00:13:29,011 --> 00:13:30,211
Yeah, but the shit
ain't crackin', man.
325
00:13:30,245 --> 00:13:31,446
I need my shit to crackle, man.
326
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:32,446
What's the catchphrase?
327
00:13:32,481 --> 00:13:34,314
Catchphrase?
Uh...
328
00:13:34,349 --> 00:13:35,983
Killin' bad guys is my business,
329
00:13:36,017 --> 00:13:38,753
and business is fuckin' crackin'.
330
00:13:38,787 --> 00:13:40,788
- Killin' bad guys...
- Bad guys is my...business...
331
00:13:40,823 --> 00:13:42,090
- And business is...
- Fuckin' crackin'.
332
00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:43,124
- Business is--
- Nah.
333
00:13:43,158 --> 00:13:44,191
I don't know about that, man.
334
00:13:44,226 --> 00:13:45,793
- You know what?
- ...Crackin'.
335
00:13:45,828 --> 00:13:48,963
I'm gonna go drop some heat.
Y'all chop it up, a'ight?
336
00:13:48,997 --> 00:13:51,265
What the fuck are you doin'?
What is this?
337
00:13:51,299 --> 00:13:52,567
What are you talkin' about?
338
00:13:52,601 --> 00:13:54,502
Why are you suddenly in my shit?
339
00:13:54,536 --> 00:13:56,438
I don't want to be.
I'm tryin' to pass.
340
00:13:56,472 --> 00:13:57,805
This guy won't take no for an answer.
341
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,908
You are a middle-aged
white guy.
342
00:14:00,943 --> 00:14:02,777
What the fuck do you know
about black culture?
343
00:14:02,811 --> 00:14:06,013
Absolutely nothin', but you're
makin' Santa Monica Cop?
344
00:14:06,048 --> 00:14:07,348
What the fuck does that
have to do with black culture?
345
00:14:07,382 --> 00:14:09,383
The character was originally
from Compton, get it?
346
00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:10,651
- Whatever, dude.
- You ever been to Compton?
347
00:14:10,685 --> 00:14:12,252
Go make your movie.
I'm no threat to you.
348
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,287
Oh really?
You're no threat to me?
349
00:14:13,321 --> 00:14:14,288
- You sure about that?
- Yeah.
350
00:14:14,322 --> 00:14:16,123
- Sure?
- Go.
351
00:14:16,157 --> 00:14:17,357
What about Michelle?
352
00:14:17,391 --> 00:14:19,126
Michelle?
353
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,494
Girl you fucked while I was
still goin' out with her.
354
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,396
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, uh-huh.
355
00:14:23,431 --> 00:14:25,865
I--I'm sorry, I had--
I had no idea.
356
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,200
Yeah, well, she found out
357
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,168
I was fuckin' around on her
a little bit.
358
00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:30,603
- We had a little fight.
- Mm-hmm.
359
00:14:30,638 --> 00:14:32,038
She went to a bar in Venice.
360
00:14:32,073 --> 00:14:33,607
She met you, she fucked you,
361
00:14:33,641 --> 00:14:36,409
she told me about it
in a fucking email.
362
00:14:36,444 --> 00:14:37,877
A very descriptive fucking email,
363
00:14:37,912 --> 00:14:39,379
which actually I still have.
364
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:40,780
Would you like me to read it to you?
365
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:42,515
No!
I think that's a terrible idea.
366
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,384
- You sure?
- Well, you know, actually,
367
00:14:44,418 --> 00:14:46,553
it might be kind of an
interesting time capsule for me.
368
00:14:46,587 --> 00:14:48,888
You know, like a stroll down
memory--no, actually, no.
369
00:14:48,923 --> 00:14:50,123
Don't, I'm good.
All right?
370
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,525
- And--and again, I'm sorry.
- I loved her.
371
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,427
I actually think she was the one.
372
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,395
Then why were you cheatin' on her?
373
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,530
It was gonna be the last time,
that's why.
374
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,131
It was my kinda final dalliance.
375
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,499
I was ready to hang it up.
376
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,501
I mean, that's how much
this girl meant to me.
377
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:06,537
She actually made me reconsider
all the fucked up shit I'd done
378
00:15:06,571 --> 00:15:09,407
behind her back.
379
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,509
I'm sorry for your loss, Peter.
380
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,611
Shit happens.
381
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,847
Yeah, well, shit happens.
382
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:17,081
Shit does, in fact, happen.
383
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,550
Well, hey,
maybe that's your catchphrase.
384
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,751
But it's a--
it's a black movie,
385
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:21,353
so maybe it's
"Shit be happenin'."
386
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:24,022
- Okay, let's go.
- Where?
387
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,158
Outside. You and I
are gonna settle this like men.
388
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,060
- Let's go.
- Why?
389
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:31,263
For years, I've been tormented
by the image of my girl,
390
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,265
the one that got away,
getting banged out
391
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:36,869
by some smug fuckin' writer.
392
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,938
Time to make this right.
393
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,973
Let's go.
Let's go!
394
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:43,375
Really? You made a movie
about a battleship?
395
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,077
- Come on.
- Man, just,
396
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,712
- thanks for Aspen Extreme.
- Put your shit out there.
397
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,313
What the fuck y'all crackers
up to out here, man?
398
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:49,881
- What up, Pete?
- Nah, he fucked
399
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,050
one of my ex-girls,
when I was still with her.
400
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:53,919
- Oh, come on.
- Moody, you a fuckin' dog.
401
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,788
- Rapin' and pillagin'?
- I didn't know.
402
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,090
Aw, man, I'll kill that
motherfucker that touch my girl.
403
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,158
- Get him, Berg!
- Whose side are you--
404
00:15:59,193 --> 00:16:00,493
- Uh!
- Oh!
405
00:16:04,532 --> 00:16:05,766
- Hi.
- Hi.
406
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,067
- Ava's mom.
- Oh, no, I'm--
407
00:16:07,101 --> 00:16:08,202
I'm Charlie Runkle.
408
00:16:08,236 --> 00:16:10,538
Stuart's dad, we spoke on the phone.
409
00:16:10,572 --> 00:16:12,373
No, I'm just the nanny, but come in.
410
00:16:12,407 --> 00:16:13,941
Oh! Oh, oh.
411
00:16:17,646 --> 00:16:21,216
This must be Ava.
412
00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:22,984
Hello, Ava.
413
00:16:25,287 --> 00:16:27,655
Ava, darling, calm down.
414
00:16:27,689 --> 00:16:29,156
Why don't we go to your room?
415
00:16:29,191 --> 00:16:30,658
Hello, Mr. Runkle.
416
00:16:30,692 --> 00:16:32,927
Hello, Mrs., uh--
417
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:35,797
- Call me Alison.
- And you call me Charlie.
418
00:16:35,831 --> 00:16:37,398
Uh, okay.
419
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:41,003
I just wanted to stop by, in person,
420
00:16:41,037 --> 00:16:43,306
and apologize for my son's behavior.
421
00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:45,074
Your son's disgusting behavior.
422
00:16:45,109 --> 00:16:47,844
Ava's cried herself to sleep
every night since the incident.
423
00:16:47,878 --> 00:16:50,714
How can we make this better?
424
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,282
You're an agent, aren't you?
425
00:16:52,316 --> 00:16:54,517
That I am.
U.T.K.
426
00:16:54,552 --> 00:16:55,885
You must know my husband, Bruce.
427
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,387
Business affairs at Warners.
428
00:16:57,421 --> 00:17:01,491
Oh. Uh, of course.
Tough negotiator.
429
00:17:01,525 --> 00:17:03,460
But fair.
Always fair.
430
00:17:03,494 --> 00:17:04,794
Bullshit!
431
00:17:04,829 --> 00:17:07,631
He's an abusive sociopath
and a casual alcoholic.
432
00:17:07,665 --> 00:17:12,469
- I'm not the biggest fan.
- Neither am I.
433
00:17:12,503 --> 00:17:16,173
Actually, uh,
he's kind of a bully, in fact.
434
00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:20,310
Yes, yes, he is, and I have
the scars to prove it.
435
00:17:20,345 --> 00:17:24,981
Okay.
Um, a peace offering.
436
00:17:25,016 --> 00:17:26,950
What do you say you and I
437
00:17:26,985 --> 00:17:29,719
discuss this further
over a glass of Sauvignon blanc?
438
00:17:29,754 --> 00:17:32,990
I shouldn't.
But I will.
439
00:17:35,794 --> 00:17:38,295
- Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
- It's not karma.
440
00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:41,432
It's just shitty fuckin' luck.
441
00:17:41,466 --> 00:17:43,467
That motherfucker's
a good director, too, man.
442
00:17:43,502 --> 00:17:45,503
Hope you didn't fuck my shit up.
443
00:17:45,537 --> 00:17:47,605
I don't care about your shit
right now.
444
00:17:47,639 --> 00:17:50,075
I care about my fuckin' eye.
445
00:18:06,658 --> 00:18:11,295
♪ Why would you strand me here ♪
446
00:18:11,329 --> 00:18:13,730
♪ strand me here ♪
447
00:18:13,765 --> 00:18:17,468
♪ when you really want to
burn that bridge ♪
448
00:18:17,502 --> 00:18:21,105
♪ why did we climb ♪
449
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:23,608
♪ so high? ♪
450
00:18:23,643 --> 00:18:27,246
Cryin' motherfucker.
451
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,815
No, I ain't cryin'.
Shut the fuck up!
452
00:18:28,849 --> 00:18:29,882
My man, this nigga cryin', man.
453
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:31,184
Check this shit--
454
00:18:34,521 --> 00:18:35,821
- Whoa!
- Oh!
455
00:18:35,855 --> 00:18:38,423
♪ When you really want to
burn that bridge ♪
456
00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,424
Off me, nigga!
457
00:18:39,459 --> 00:18:42,560
♪ What would you say? ♪
458
00:18:42,595 --> 00:18:44,762
Oh! This motherfucker shot me,
man!
459
00:18:44,797 --> 00:18:46,797
Hey, look who's cryin' now.
460
00:18:46,832 --> 00:18:48,999
Chase, take that motherfucker
to the hospital, man.
461
00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:50,467
No, man!
462
00:18:50,502 --> 00:18:53,003
Oh, shit.
463
00:18:53,037 --> 00:18:57,709
I ain't got no fuckin' medical!
464
00:18:57,744 --> 00:19:03,716
♪ When you really want to
burn that bridge? ♪
465
00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:12,860
What does your wife do?
466
00:19:12,894 --> 00:19:16,163
She has sex with a very rich
movie producer named Stu Beggs.
467
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,333
- Mmm, of course. Marcy.
- Mm-hmm.
468
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:21,435
I see her all the time
at the bar method.
469
00:19:23,805 --> 00:19:25,606
I had sex with Stu Beggs once.
470
00:19:25,641 --> 00:19:27,108
Yeah, I was his development girl
471
00:19:27,142 --> 00:19:29,544
for a short time
in the mid-90s.
472
00:19:29,578 --> 00:19:31,713
- Huge penis.
- Yes, I'm well aware.
473
00:19:31,747 --> 00:19:35,383
- Like a bratwurst.
- Okay. Enough.
474
00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:37,185
He asked me to pee on him.
475
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:39,988
Really?
476
00:19:40,022 --> 00:19:40,989
Did you?
477
00:19:41,023 --> 00:19:42,691
Yes.
478
00:19:42,725 --> 00:19:44,827
I had to go.
Seemed silly to just say no.
479
00:19:44,861 --> 00:19:46,862
Makes sense.
480
00:19:46,897 --> 00:19:49,065
I don't want to
take Ava out of broken arrow.
481
00:19:49,099 --> 00:19:50,366
It's a great school,
482
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,202
and it funnels into
all the best elementary schools.
483
00:19:53,237 --> 00:19:54,537
That is what they say.
484
00:19:54,571 --> 00:19:57,840
So...
485
00:19:57,875 --> 00:19:59,141
How do we fix this?
486
00:19:59,176 --> 00:20:01,210
What makes boys
want to take their dicks out
487
00:20:01,244 --> 00:20:03,212
and show them to girls?
488
00:20:03,246 --> 00:20:07,016
Uh, I don't know.
Pride of ownership, maybe?
489
00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:09,385
Are you gonna take yours out?
490
00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:11,353
I'm sorry?
491
00:20:11,387 --> 00:20:13,355
Don't you want to show me yours?
492
00:20:13,389 --> 00:20:15,991
My...
493
00:20:16,025 --> 00:20:16,992
penis?
494
00:20:17,026 --> 00:20:19,027
Your dick.
Your sausage.
495
00:20:19,062 --> 00:20:21,030
Your cock,
whatever you want to call it.
496
00:20:21,064 --> 00:20:23,732
Are you gonna take it out
and masturbate for me?
497
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:27,237
Just like your son did
in front of my daughter.
498
00:20:31,309 --> 00:20:32,909
Why would I do that?
499
00:20:32,944 --> 00:20:34,411
Why not?
500
00:20:41,318 --> 00:20:43,885
That's right.
501
00:20:43,919 --> 00:20:46,454
Touch yourself.
502
00:20:46,489 --> 00:20:47,956
Oh.
503
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:49,958
You filthy pig.
504
00:20:49,992 --> 00:20:51,859
You pervert.
505
00:20:51,894 --> 00:20:53,594
Why do you want to show me your dick?
506
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:56,464
That pathetic
little excuse for a penis.
507
00:20:56,499 --> 00:20:57,798
It looks like your son's.
508
00:20:57,833 --> 00:21:00,068
Do you fuck grown women
with that thing?
509
00:21:00,102 --> 00:21:02,804
Are they ever satisfied?
510
00:21:02,838 --> 00:21:04,539
How could they be?
511
00:21:04,573 --> 00:21:06,807
What's it like...
512
00:21:06,842 --> 00:21:11,012
To have the desire, but not
the right tool for the job?
513
00:21:12,348 --> 00:21:15,318
Jesus Christ, Lizzie!
514
00:21:15,352 --> 00:21:17,220
How about some fucking privacy?
515
00:21:17,254 --> 00:21:18,721
I'm so sorry.
516
00:21:18,756 --> 00:21:20,657
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
517
00:21:20,691 --> 00:21:22,091
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
518
00:21:22,126 --> 00:21:24,061
Clean up in here, you pig.
519
00:21:50,452 --> 00:21:52,887
Hey, are--are you okay?
520
00:21:52,922 --> 00:21:54,890
I just got fired.
521
00:21:54,924 --> 00:21:57,860
Oh, no.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
522
00:21:57,894 --> 00:21:59,495
Don't be.
She was a nightmare to work for.
523
00:21:59,529 --> 00:22:02,532
Yeah, I got the feeling.
524
00:22:05,903 --> 00:22:07,771
She hits on everyone, you know.
525
00:22:07,806 --> 00:22:10,542
Messengers, mailmen, gardeners.
526
00:22:10,576 --> 00:22:13,311
I walked in on her
and the DirecTV guy once.
527
00:22:13,345 --> 00:22:15,279
She had her finger up his ass.
528
00:22:15,313 --> 00:22:16,447
Up his ass?
529
00:22:16,481 --> 00:22:19,083
Yeah, she's really fucked up.
530
00:22:19,117 --> 00:22:21,085
I should say so.
531
00:22:22,421 --> 00:22:25,289
Hey, are you lookin' for a new gig?
532
00:22:25,323 --> 00:22:27,824
Yeah, absolutely.
I really need the money...
533
00:22:27,859 --> 00:22:30,260
- For cooking school.
- Awesome.
534
00:22:30,294 --> 00:22:31,828
People love food.
535
00:22:31,863 --> 00:22:33,463
Yeah.
536
00:22:33,498 --> 00:22:35,065
Well, as luck would have it,
537
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:38,602
my ex-wife is lookin' for
a new nanny for our son.
538
00:22:38,637 --> 00:22:42,173
And your son is the one
who exposed himself to Ava.
539
00:22:42,208 --> 00:22:45,277
Yes. Yes,
but he's really very sweet.
540
00:22:45,311 --> 00:22:49,414
My guess is, he meant it
as a compliment.
541
00:22:49,449 --> 00:22:50,716
What do you think?
542
00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:53,485
Any interest?
543
00:22:53,519 --> 00:22:55,487
Thank you.
544
00:23:08,999 --> 00:23:12,134
So look, man, you had a chance
to spend the whole day with me.
545
00:23:12,169 --> 00:23:14,537
Know what I mean?
See behind the curtain.
546
00:23:14,571 --> 00:23:17,106
So what's this gonna be?
547
00:23:17,141 --> 00:23:21,678
No disrespect, but I think
I'm gonna have to pass.
548
00:23:21,712 --> 00:23:22,880
I gotta--
549
00:23:26,885 --> 00:23:29,152
Will you excuse me for a second?
550
00:23:36,728 --> 00:23:37,796
Hey, Tyler.
551
00:23:39,565 --> 00:23:42,033
Hank.
What's up, man?
552
00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:44,001
Fancy seeing you again.
553
00:23:44,036 --> 00:23:46,037
This--this is--
this is not what it looks like.
554
00:23:46,071 --> 00:23:47,204
This is my sister.
555
00:23:47,239 --> 00:23:48,706
How's Becca?
556
00:23:48,740 --> 00:23:50,308
She's at home with her mom.
557
00:23:50,342 --> 00:23:51,475
She didn't want to come out tonight.
558
00:23:51,510 --> 00:23:52,676
You know, I really dig that about her.
559
00:23:52,711 --> 00:23:54,478
- She know where you are?
- Yeah, of course.
560
00:23:54,513 --> 00:23:56,146
I was just texting with her.
561
00:23:56,181 --> 00:23:57,414
Does she know about your sister?
562
00:23:57,449 --> 00:24:00,184
Okay, I--
I really like Becca, okay, I do,
563
00:24:00,219 --> 00:24:03,421
but life is short, man,
you know, and just sometimes,
564
00:24:03,455 --> 00:24:06,991
sometimes shit happens.
565
00:24:07,026 --> 00:24:09,894
Is she aware of how loose
this arrangement is?
566
00:24:09,929 --> 00:24:11,329
I don't know, Hank.
567
00:24:11,363 --> 00:24:15,366
We're just sorta takin' it day by day.
568
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,335
Shit. You got that look
in your eye,
569
00:24:17,369 --> 00:24:18,469
like you want to hit me.
570
00:24:18,504 --> 00:24:20,237
Feel free...
571
00:24:20,272 --> 00:24:22,907
If you want your daughter
to hate you for life.
572
00:24:25,276 --> 00:24:28,311
Gotcha!
573
00:24:28,346 --> 00:24:30,480
Look, is there anything else
you want to discuss?
574
00:24:30,514 --> 00:24:32,082
No? Okay, cool.
575
00:24:32,116 --> 00:24:33,116
Have a good night.
576
00:24:35,086 --> 00:24:37,955
Hey, sis.
577
00:24:41,693 --> 00:24:44,396
What the fuck was that all about?
578
00:24:44,430 --> 00:24:48,834
Some guy my daughter's seeing
doesn't seem entirely faithful.
579
00:24:48,868 --> 00:24:50,335
I think he's gonna break her heart.
580
00:24:50,370 --> 00:24:52,538
Maybe we should break his legs first.
581
00:24:52,572 --> 00:24:53,973
That was my first impulse,
582
00:24:54,007 --> 00:24:56,709
but if I do that, then
she's gonna hate me forever.
583
00:24:56,743 --> 00:24:59,144
I have a history of doing
the well-intentioned wrong thing
584
00:24:59,178 --> 00:25:00,245
when it comes to her.
585
00:25:00,279 --> 00:25:03,281
So Moody's a good father, huh?
586
00:25:03,315 --> 00:25:05,283
I like that in a brother.
587
00:25:05,317 --> 00:25:07,351
Me too.
588
00:25:14,191 --> 00:25:16,459
You know what? I'm gonna--
I'm gonna take off.
589
00:25:16,493 --> 00:25:18,395
Peace.
590
00:25:18,429 --> 00:25:19,396
Peace out, nigga.
591
00:25:19,430 --> 00:25:22,165
Good luck on your project.
592
00:25:34,078 --> 00:25:35,412
Just so you know,
593
00:25:35,446 --> 00:25:38,382
you're well-represented
in this battle of the exes.
594
00:25:38,416 --> 00:25:39,850
I got your back, rapist.
595
00:25:39,884 --> 00:25:42,586
Mucho appreciato, Batesy.
596
00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:44,888
- Ladies.
- Oh, my God.
597
00:25:44,923 --> 00:25:46,523
You've been in town for two days,
598
00:25:46,558 --> 00:25:48,292
and you have a black eye already.
599
00:25:48,326 --> 00:25:49,593
Apparently, I had it comin'.
600
00:25:49,628 --> 00:25:52,329
Really?
Shocker.
601
00:25:52,363 --> 00:25:55,098
Becca, can I speak with you a moment?
602
00:25:55,133 --> 00:25:59,069
No.
603
00:25:59,104 --> 00:26:02,839
Go and speak with him.
604
00:26:05,677 --> 00:26:08,679
I just wanted to say
I'm sorry, you know?
605
00:26:08,713 --> 00:26:10,347
It's not right of me to swoop in here
606
00:26:10,381 --> 00:26:11,782
and give you a hard time
about your life.
607
00:26:11,817 --> 00:26:14,052
But you have to know
it comes from a good place.
608
00:26:14,086 --> 00:26:15,520
You know, a place of
wanting to protect you
609
00:26:15,554 --> 00:26:16,821
from all the bad shit
that's out there.
610
00:26:16,855 --> 00:26:19,624
I know what guys are like.
611
00:26:19,658 --> 00:26:23,828
I've been that guy.
612
00:26:23,863 --> 00:26:25,430
I am that guy,
613
00:26:25,464 --> 00:26:27,966
sometimes.
614
00:26:28,001 --> 00:26:29,835
It's just so hard
to tell the difference
615
00:26:29,870 --> 00:26:32,505
between those that have a good heart
616
00:26:32,539 --> 00:26:34,574
and the ones that are
just out there to win.
617
00:26:34,608 --> 00:26:37,877
He's a good guy, dad.
I know it.
618
00:26:37,912 --> 00:26:42,516
I know it like I know
you're a good guy, deep down.
619
00:26:49,391 --> 00:26:51,258
Speak of the handsome devil.
620
00:26:52,294 --> 00:26:53,661
Hold on a sec, dad.
621
00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:58,399
Hello.
622
00:26:58,433 --> 00:27:02,637
You did good.
It'll be okay.
623
00:27:02,671 --> 00:27:06,207
You sure about that?
624
00:27:06,241 --> 00:27:07,442
Can someone take me to the hospital?
625
00:27:07,476 --> 00:27:09,243
Why?
What's happened?
626
00:27:09,278 --> 00:27:10,578
Tyler was leaving some club
in Hollywood,
627
00:27:10,612 --> 00:27:12,279
and he got jumped
by a bunch of gangbangers.
628
00:27:12,314 --> 00:27:14,648
They beat him up pretty bad.
He's at Cedars.
629
00:27:14,682 --> 00:27:16,684
Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
Of course, come on.
630
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:17,818
Let's go.
631
00:27:17,852 --> 00:27:20,120
- Um, have you got the keys?
- Yeah, yeah.
632
00:27:20,155 --> 00:27:22,545
Sounds like
the little turd-fondler
633
00:27:22,665 --> 00:27:24,717
finally pissed off the wrong guy.
634
00:27:26,093 --> 00:27:28,395
♪ Old man, take a look
at my life I'm a lot like you ♪
635
00:27:30,531 --> 00:27:34,133
♪ I need someone to love me ♪
636
00:27:34,167 --> 00:27:37,903
♪ the whole day through ♪
637
00:27:37,938 --> 00:27:43,242
♪ and one look in my eyes
and you can tell that's true ♪
638
00:27:50,850 --> 00:27:53,551
♪ old man, look at my life ♪
639
00:27:53,586 --> 00:27:57,656
♪ I'm a lot like you were ♪
640
00:27:57,690 --> 00:28:13,773
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com