1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,051
Previously
on Californication...
2
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:04,086
I will love you
till the end of time,
3
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,821
but I can no longer be
your husband.
4
00:00:05,856 --> 00:00:08,490
- It's such a fucking relief!
- I know, right?
5
00:00:08,525 --> 00:00:10,125
It's fucking liberating!
6
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,795
- I'm dropping out of school.
- Oh, no, you're not.
7
00:00:12,829 --> 00:00:14,997
- I want to be a writer.
- Why?
8
00:00:15,031 --> 00:00:16,432
Being a writer sucks.
9
00:00:16,466 --> 00:00:18,601
I really thought
you'd be more supportive.
10
00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:20,569
I want an agent
who understands
11
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:21,737
what I'm going through,
12
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:24,073
both as an artist
and as a gay man.
13
00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,774
I want a gay-gent.
14
00:00:25,809 --> 00:00:27,977
We were in such
a great place that night.
15
00:00:28,011 --> 00:00:31,046
And if we stand any chance
of getting back there,
16
00:00:31,081 --> 00:00:33,048
you have to pull
your shit together.
17
00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:35,317
Well, I really
loved your book, Ophelia.
18
00:00:35,352 --> 00:00:37,052
Good for you, Marcy.
19
00:00:37,087 --> 00:00:39,555
You don't need a man
to be happy.
20
00:00:39,589 --> 00:00:40,823
Did you sign Robbie Mac?
21
00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:43,259
Yeah, I wasn't sure
if it was gonna stick.
22
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,427
Well, it stuck, all right.
It's on deadline.
23
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,130
Do you know that fucker?
24
00:00:48,164 --> 00:00:50,733
This fucker is supposed
to be in rehab right now!
25
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:54,069
It appears
that I have had a relapse.
26
00:00:54,104 --> 00:00:57,139
I got to get myself
back to rehab posthaste.
27
00:00:57,173 --> 00:00:59,508
Do you think maybe
you can give me a ride?
28
00:01:08,418 --> 00:01:11,120
Here's to your
semi-successful rehab stint.
29
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,321
Cheers.
30
00:01:12,355 --> 00:01:14,089
And here's
to my cock-happy gay-gent.
31
00:01:14,124 --> 00:01:15,157
Mm!
32
00:01:15,191 --> 00:01:16,625
It's a better life, Hank.
33
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,594
The gays--
they got it all figured out,
34
00:01:18,628 --> 00:01:20,529
especially
when it comes to sex.
35
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:22,965
They want to get laid,
they just do it.
36
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,468
They act on their impulses--
no guilt, no shame.
37
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,470
Heterosexuality should get down
on bended knee
38
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,738
and take a lesson.
39
00:01:29,773 --> 00:01:31,340
I'll bring it up
at the next board meeting.
40
00:01:31,374 --> 00:01:33,475
It's good to have
you back, buddy!
41
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,710
It's good to be back.
42
00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:36,312
So...
43
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,579
What's next?
44
00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:38,981
Well, I got
something in mind.
45
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,783
I-I don't know
if it's a novel.
46
00:01:40,817 --> 00:01:42,284
I don't know
if it's a short story.
47
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,319
It's definitely
a character.
48
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:44,753
I met this woman
in rehab--
49
00:01:44,788 --> 00:01:46,755
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that all sounds great, but--
50
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:48,691
Mm? Yep, yep, yep.
You see it coming.
51
00:01:48,725 --> 00:01:50,693
I got an offer for you!
52
00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:52,962
And I pass.
53
00:01:52,996 --> 00:01:54,196
- What, you pass?
- Yeah.
54
00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:55,531
- What the fuck?
- Mm-hmm.
55
00:01:55,565 --> 00:01:58,600
I'm gonna write on spec
for a while, Charlie, okay?
56
00:01:58,635 --> 00:02:00,936
No Hollywood fingers
in my sweet, little cornhole.
57
00:02:00,971 --> 00:02:02,338
Why would
you want to work for free
58
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,206
when I can get you
a major payday?
59
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,674
Don't you need one?
Um...
60
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,776
You just dropped major
fucking ducats on rehab.
61
00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:09,278
Well, yeah, sure,
paydays are always nice.
62
00:02:09,312 --> 00:02:10,279
Yeah, yeah.
63
00:02:10,313 --> 00:02:11,780
What if it was
a quick assignment?
64
00:02:11,815 --> 00:02:12,948
Yeah, well,
they never are.
65
00:02:12,983 --> 00:02:15,117
What if it was a remake
of Cruising?
66
00:02:15,151 --> 00:02:18,620
Come on, Billy Friedkin,
Al Pacino.
67
00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:19,989
And so it begins.
68
00:02:20,023 --> 00:02:21,824
I got it all cued up for you
right here, okay?
69
00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:23,625
- Charlie--
- Look, no, no, no, no.
70
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You just need to sit down
and relax, hmm?
71
00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:30,299
I got the popcorn.
I got the red vines.
72
00:02:30,333 --> 00:02:32,101
Charlie, I don't feel like
screening a movie with you
73
00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:33,469
right now.
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00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:35,404
I want to go see Karen, check up
on the state of our union.
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00:02:35,438 --> 00:02:37,139
Well, you got homework
to do, man.
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We got ourselves a big
Hollywood meeting tomorrow.
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♪ Elementary 6x04 ♪
Hell Bent for Leather
Original Air Date on February 10, 2013
78
00:02:45,236 --> 00:02:49,236
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
79
00:03:28,655 --> 00:03:31,824
It's gonna be amazing, Hank.
Nothing to be nervous about.
80
00:03:31,858 --> 00:03:33,659
- I'm not nervous.
- Good.
81
00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:35,795
- Are you?
- No, no, no.
82
00:03:35,829 --> 00:03:37,663
Totally sanguine.
I'm the sanguinator.
83
00:03:37,697 --> 00:03:39,265
Mm, well, you're sweating
84
00:03:39,299 --> 00:03:40,966
through that cheap,
ugly suit of yours.
85
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I know, I know, I know.
86
00:03:42,502 --> 00:03:44,236
Hank, this could
be such a big meeting,
87
00:03:44,271 --> 00:03:45,704
and I can't get Robbie
on the phone.
88
00:03:45,739 --> 00:03:47,606
He's supposed to be here.
I'm sure it's fine.
89
00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,241
I'm sure he's just out
somewhere, you know--
90
00:03:49,276 --> 00:03:52,078
- Sucking a dick somewhere.
- Whoa, jeez, Charlie.
91
00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:54,847
That's a little...something,
don't you think?
92
00:03:54,881 --> 00:03:57,716
Hank, the guy sucks a whole
bag of dicks before breakfast.
93
00:03:57,751 --> 00:04:00,219
A whole bag?
That's a lot of protein.
94
00:04:00,253 --> 00:04:01,620
I hope he eats
a light breakfast.
95
00:04:01,655 --> 00:04:03,122
Or maybe throw
some veggies in there.
96
00:04:03,156 --> 00:04:04,423
I'm not nervous.
97
00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:06,559
Ali's a huge fan.
Ali?
98
00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:08,727
- Yeah. Ali Andrews.
- Charlie--
99
00:04:08,762 --> 00:04:10,262
She's a huge fan of yours
in particular.
100
00:04:10,297 --> 00:04:11,964
Charlie, Ali Andrews
was the executive
101
00:04:11,998 --> 00:04:13,265
on Crazy Little Thing
Called Love.
102
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,768
She came on to me.
I rebuffed her advances.
103
00:04:15,802 --> 00:04:17,636
She fired me,
had me rewritten.
104
00:04:17,671 --> 00:04:19,905
Any of this sound familiar?
105
00:04:19,940 --> 00:04:21,073
Vaguely.
106
00:04:21,108 --> 00:04:22,875
Charlie, how the fuck
do you forget this shit?
107
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It's all coming back
to me now.
108
00:04:24,277 --> 00:04:25,911
Because you've burned
a lot of bridges, Hank.
109
00:04:25,946 --> 00:04:28,647
All the people you've pissed
off--they move around a lot.
110
00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:30,416
Hank, she's running
the studio now.
111
00:04:33,453 --> 00:04:34,920
Charlie.
112
00:04:34,955 --> 00:04:35,921
Hank.
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00:04:35,956 --> 00:04:36,922
Ali.
114
00:04:36,957 --> 00:04:39,758
So lovely to see you.
Come on in.
115
00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:41,060
Ali Andrews...
116
00:04:41,094 --> 00:04:43,162
One of the most successful women
in Hollywood.
117
00:04:43,196 --> 00:04:46,132
Lucky 7 on the 30 under 30--
congrats on that.
118
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:48,667
- Where's your client, Charlie?
- Oh, he'll be here any minute.
119
00:04:48,702 --> 00:04:50,736
You all are in
for a real treat too.
120
00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:53,839
He is stunningly handsome.
Well, he's a movie star.
121
00:04:53,874 --> 00:04:56,142
Of course he's stunning.
But is he clean?
122
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Immaculate.
123
00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:59,044
He's so clean,
you could eat off of him.
124
00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:01,514
Yeah, I heard that
was your thing now, right?
125
00:05:01,548 --> 00:05:04,750
I always had a feeling.
Me too.
126
00:05:04,784 --> 00:05:08,120
So, Hank, tell me a story.
127
00:05:08,155 --> 00:05:09,555
You've seen
the original movie?
128
00:05:09,589 --> 00:05:11,056
- I have. It's brilliant.
- "Brilliant."
129
00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:13,259
Why is everything always
"brilliant" with you people?
130
00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:15,628
Why can't anything be
just good or okay?
131
00:05:15,662 --> 00:05:18,063
But I-I-I digress.
132
00:05:18,098 --> 00:05:20,833
You've seen the original.
That's my story.
133
00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:22,568
Well, how do you plan
to update it?
134
00:05:22,602 --> 00:05:24,069
I mean, what's your take?
My take?
135
00:05:24,104 --> 00:05:26,572
My take is I'll take it.
I'll take it and make it my own.
136
00:05:28,341 --> 00:05:29,675
Oh, oh, I-I get it.
137
00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:31,510
You know, story's really
never been your thing, right?
138
00:05:31,545 --> 00:05:34,680
You're all about voice
and attitude,
139
00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:37,850
lots of talk,
no action.
140
00:05:37,884 --> 00:05:39,585
Oh, okay.
141
00:05:39,619 --> 00:05:41,587
So we both know
what this is about.
142
00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:43,255
- We do?
- Yes.
143
00:05:43,290 --> 00:05:45,257
And if you're still wanting
to make shit happen,
144
00:05:45,292 --> 00:05:46,759
I'm down with it.
You're kidding me.
145
00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:49,428
I was in a loving, monogamous
relationship at the time.
146
00:05:49,462 --> 00:05:50,596
Now not so much.
147
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:51,997
I mean, it's still loving,
148
00:05:52,032 --> 00:05:53,699
but we can't seem to get back
on the physical plane,
149
00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:56,268
which sucks, but it does afford
me certain freedoms.
150
00:05:56,303 --> 00:05:58,604
I wish you were this
imaginative in your writing.
151
00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:01,207
I think it would clear
the air, right?
152
00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:03,042
I mean, you're obviously
a woman that's used to getting
153
00:06:03,076 --> 00:06:04,777
what she wants, you know.
154
00:06:04,811 --> 00:06:06,545
And I'm the guy
that said "no, thanks"
155
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:07,846
to your fleshy goodness,
156
00:06:07,881 --> 00:06:09,682
which makes me the one
that got away.
157
00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:11,617
So you've put me up
on this pedestal
158
00:06:11,651 --> 00:06:13,886
built of bitterness and regret.
159
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,555
This is exciting, hmm?
160
00:06:16,590 --> 00:06:18,557
The sexual tension--
it's--it's thick.
161
00:06:18,592 --> 00:06:20,593
I mean, you could--you could cut
it with a knife
162
00:06:20,627 --> 00:06:22,394
and spread it
on some crostini.
163
00:06:22,429 --> 00:06:24,396
Why don't you two get the fuck
out of my office?
164
00:06:24,431 --> 00:06:26,265
I have a studio to run.
165
00:06:30,103 --> 00:06:33,539
Who wants to remake a classic
fucking movie from the '70s?
166
00:06:33,573 --> 00:06:35,975
It came out in '80,
actually.
167
00:06:36,009 --> 00:06:38,744
Ow.
Quiet, writer.
168
00:06:38,778 --> 00:06:41,580
A man who shall remain nameless.
169
00:06:41,615 --> 00:06:44,416
Came out recently.
170
00:06:44,451 --> 00:06:49,521
He came out in a big,
brave, showy way.
171
00:06:52,225 --> 00:06:54,526
Then he brought me this movie.
172
00:06:54,561 --> 00:06:56,495
Now, at first, I thought,
173
00:06:56,529 --> 00:06:58,764
"who gives a fuck
about anonymous gay men
174
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:03,035
punishing each other's assholes
in dark, dank leather bars?"
175
00:07:03,069 --> 00:07:06,405
Then I thought,
"this guy does."
176
00:07:06,439 --> 00:07:10,376
Three months
in dingy gay bars,
177
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:12,244
and I get paid for it too?
178
00:07:16,049 --> 00:07:18,584
So what do you say,
handsome?
179
00:07:18,618 --> 00:07:21,020
You seen the original?
Oh, yes.
180
00:07:21,054 --> 00:07:22,688
Fucking brilliant!
181
00:07:22,722 --> 00:07:24,556
Turn that shit up.
182
00:07:24,591 --> 00:07:28,394
♪ You've got
another thing comin' ♪
183
00:07:28,428 --> 00:07:32,531
♪ You've got
another thing comin' ♪
184
00:07:34,734 --> 00:07:37,670
♪ You've got
another thing comin' ♪
185
00:07:37,704 --> 00:07:38,771
Oh, oh, oh.
186
00:07:38,805 --> 00:07:41,540
♪ You've got
another thing ♪
187
00:07:52,886 --> 00:07:55,554
♪ Swallow the bone ♪
188
00:07:55,588 --> 00:07:57,656
♪ You've got
another thing comin' ♪
189
00:07:57,691 --> 00:07:59,391
♪ yeah
190
00:07:59,426 --> 00:08:02,861
♪ it's a-comin' at ya
191
00:08:02,896 --> 00:08:04,196
♪ you've got another...
192
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:08,167
Sold it, in the room--
totally fucking brilliant.
193
00:08:08,201 --> 00:08:10,035
Settle down, Judy Garland.
194
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,637
You guys
should come celebrate tonight.
195
00:08:11,671 --> 00:08:12,738
Fist--
196
00:08:12,772 --> 00:08:14,440
Santa Monica and Robertson,
be there.
197
00:08:14,474 --> 00:08:16,041
Oh, you're going to fist.
198
00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:17,543
I got a thing over
at prolapsed rectum.
199
00:08:17,577 --> 00:08:20,045
You know, it's in Silver Lake.
Be there, writer...
200
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,648
or be off the project.
He will be there, Robbie.
201
00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:23,982
Sure thing.
202
00:08:24,017 --> 00:08:26,452
Just got to get my assless chaps
out of storage.
203
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:36,328
He is something, ain't he?
204
00:08:36,363 --> 00:08:37,529
You better be careful,
205
00:08:37,564 --> 00:08:39,365
or else some part of him
is gonna end up
206
00:08:39,399 --> 00:08:40,599
in some part of you.
207
00:08:40,633 --> 00:08:42,267
Why you want to rain
on my gay parade?
208
00:08:42,302 --> 00:08:43,802
Oh, it's gonna rain, Charlie.
209
00:08:43,837 --> 00:08:45,104
It's gonna rain big buckets
210
00:08:45,138 --> 00:08:47,206
of smooth, creamy
man-cake batter.
211
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,341
I hope you have your umbrella.
212
00:08:49,376 --> 00:08:52,177
Gosh, Marcy, thank you
so much for fitting me in.
213
00:08:52,212 --> 00:08:53,612
Are you kidding me?
214
00:08:53,646 --> 00:08:55,981
This is my pure pleasure.
215
00:08:56,015 --> 00:08:58,984
And by the way, this rip's
on the house--my treat.
216
00:08:59,018 --> 00:09:00,052
Oh!
217
00:09:00,086 --> 00:09:02,388
Don't be ridiculous.
218
00:09:02,422 --> 00:09:04,623
- You come highly recommended.
- That's nice.
219
00:09:04,657 --> 00:09:06,625
I mean, I am the shit
when it comes
220
00:09:06,659 --> 00:09:07,993
to making pussies pretty,
221
00:09:08,027 --> 00:09:12,231
but, uh, your writing
means too much to me.
222
00:09:12,265 --> 00:09:14,233
This shit is gratis.
223
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:16,502
Thank you,
that's very sweet.
224
00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:20,005
Can I tell you something?
225
00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:22,708
And trust me,
it's gonna sound freaky.
226
00:09:22,742 --> 00:09:24,042
Ow!
227
00:09:24,077 --> 00:09:26,512
You can tell me anything.
228
00:09:26,546 --> 00:09:30,182
Okay, I've seen a lot of vajay
in my day,
229
00:09:30,216 --> 00:09:33,652
but yours is simply stunning.
230
00:09:33,686 --> 00:09:36,021
I mean, it took me a while
to hack through all this brush,
231
00:09:36,055 --> 00:09:38,490
but once I got there, wow.
232
00:09:38,525 --> 00:09:39,992
Thank you.
233
00:09:40,026 --> 00:09:42,194
Honestly,
it's like it's glowing.
234
00:09:42,228 --> 00:09:44,096
- You know what it is?
- No.
235
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:47,533
But please tell me, because mine
looks like day-old deli meat.
236
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:50,068
It is untouched by man.
237
00:09:50,103 --> 00:09:54,106
But...I mean, do you--
how do you--did you--
238
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,341
Oh--what? Oh, how do
I take care of myself?
239
00:09:56,376 --> 00:09:59,044
Marcy, I do exactly that.
240
00:09:59,078 --> 00:10:00,446
I take care of myself.
241
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,581
I don't need a fucking man
to make me come.
242
00:10:02,615 --> 00:10:04,550
I come all the time.
243
00:10:04,584 --> 00:10:06,685
I just came right now.
244
00:10:06,719 --> 00:10:10,422
- Seriously, you just did?
- No, I'm just kidding.
245
00:10:10,457 --> 00:10:12,391
But I found a better way.
246
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:14,693
If you withhold,
you gain power.
247
00:10:16,763 --> 00:10:18,931
That is some heady shit,
Ophelia.
248
00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:22,401
So, instead of putting my head
in some man's lap,
249
00:10:22,435 --> 00:10:25,404
I put my nose in a book,
and I never looked up.
250
00:10:25,438 --> 00:10:28,907
And guess what.
All my dreams came true.
251
00:10:28,942 --> 00:10:32,144
Are you sure you don't
just like munching box?
252
00:10:32,178 --> 00:10:35,747
I love women,
but not like that.
253
00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:37,082
I'd rather be alone,
254
00:10:37,116 --> 00:10:40,252
alone with my first editions
and my hummus.
255
00:10:40,286 --> 00:10:41,320
I love hummus.
256
00:10:41,354 --> 00:10:42,554
What about children?
257
00:10:42,589 --> 00:10:44,790
Ugh, disgusting
little creatures.
258
00:10:44,824 --> 00:10:46,658
Church.
259
00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:55,000
♪
260
00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:57,202
Oh, boy!
261
00:10:57,237 --> 00:10:59,872
All right, one drink, Hank.
That's it, I promise.
262
00:10:59,906 --> 00:11:01,306
I can stay all night.
263
00:11:01,341 --> 00:11:04,843
I feel like "Indiana Jones and
the Temple of the Greased Fist."
264
00:11:04,878 --> 00:11:06,979
- Runkle!
- Aah!
265
00:11:07,013 --> 00:11:08,614
Some people
I want you to meet!
266
00:11:08,648 --> 00:11:09,815
Going in!
267
00:11:09,849 --> 00:11:13,018
Don't do anything
I wouldn't do.
268
00:11:14,754 --> 00:11:16,688
What are you drinking?
269
00:11:19,392 --> 00:11:20,859
- Batesy!
- Hank!
270
00:11:20,894 --> 00:11:22,361
What the fuck
are you doing here?
271
00:11:22,395 --> 00:11:23,896
What does it look
like I'm doing?
272
00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:25,631
Research--got a new book
in the works.
273
00:11:25,665 --> 00:11:28,901
Question is, what are
you doing here, kitten?
274
00:11:28,935 --> 00:11:31,470
- Oh, Charlie's gay now.
- Now?
275
00:11:31,504 --> 00:11:33,824
Let me tell you something,
that scrumptious little macaroon
276
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,274
was born with balls
on his chin.
277
00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:38,243
- How's Karen?
- She's good.
278
00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:40,512
She's shacking up
with Marcy...
279
00:11:40,547 --> 00:11:41,647
Not in that way.
280
00:11:41,681 --> 00:11:42,915
Well, I'm confused.
281
00:11:42,949 --> 00:11:45,117
Why is she not shacked up
with you in that way?
282
00:11:45,151 --> 00:11:46,418
I'm equally confused.
283
00:11:46,452 --> 00:11:49,488
I guess we're just heroes
of bad timing.
284
00:11:49,522 --> 00:11:51,023
Hey, you going
to Becca's thing tonight?
285
00:11:51,057 --> 00:11:52,224
What Becca's thing?
286
00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:53,926
How do you know
about Becca's thing tonight?
287
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,160
We keep in touch.
288
00:11:55,194 --> 00:11:56,828
She's always asking me questions
about writing.
289
00:11:56,863 --> 00:11:59,264
She's so cute.
She's fantastic, Hank.
290
00:11:59,299 --> 00:12:02,000
Huh. She never asks me
questions about writing.
291
00:12:02,035 --> 00:12:04,069
Well, that could be one
of two things.
292
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:06,138
Either she recognizes
who the real writer is,
293
00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:08,640
or she's not ready
to let you in yet, Hank.
294
00:12:08,675 --> 00:12:10,342
Come on, it's got to be tough
on the poor gal.
295
00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:11,910
She wants to be a writer.
296
00:12:11,945 --> 00:12:14,079
Her dad's, you know,
reasonably good at it.
297
00:12:14,113 --> 00:12:16,114
"Reasonably"?
298
00:12:16,149 --> 00:12:17,883
It's okay.
You're still young.
299
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:19,685
If you want to be one
of the greats,
300
00:12:19,719 --> 00:12:21,453
you're gonna have to park
your ass in that chair
301
00:12:21,487 --> 00:12:23,422
and bleed on the motherfucker.
302
00:12:23,456 --> 00:12:24,723
Thanks
for the gross tip, Prof.
303
00:12:24,757 --> 00:12:25,958
Okay.
304
00:12:25,992 --> 00:12:27,659
Listen, I got to go.
I got to get back to work.
305
00:12:27,694 --> 00:12:30,162
Got a lot of thirsty boys.
You're a good man, Gunga Din.
306
00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:32,898
- Yes, tipping is permitted.
- Oh, really?
307
00:12:32,932 --> 00:12:35,500
Take your time, sugar.
308
00:12:35,535 --> 00:12:37,102
There he is.
309
00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:39,104
Abbott's habit--
it's in Venice.
310
00:12:39,138 --> 00:12:40,872
I think she goes on
around 11:00 or so.
311
00:12:40,907 --> 00:12:42,374
Thanks, Batesy.
312
00:12:42,408 --> 00:12:44,910
Hey, writer.
313
00:12:44,944 --> 00:12:46,845
Oh, wow.
314
00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:48,914
Wait a minute.
Hmm.
315
00:12:48,948 --> 00:12:50,415
Oh, you're real.
316
00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:53,085
I thought you were a mirage,
but you smell of perfume--
317
00:12:53,119 --> 00:12:54,686
lady-ness.
- Mm.
318
00:12:54,721 --> 00:12:57,589
- What are you doing here?
- Robbie invited us...
319
00:12:57,624 --> 00:12:59,958
To celebrate.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
320
00:12:59,993 --> 00:13:02,027
Big, gay party at Runkle's!
321
00:13:03,563 --> 00:13:04,963
Let's go!
322
00:13:09,602 --> 00:13:11,703
Come on, hop on, Runkle.
You're coming with me.
323
00:13:11,738 --> 00:13:14,439
Wrap your legs around
this steel, bitch--let's go.
324
00:13:14,474 --> 00:13:16,475
Get on it.
325
00:13:16,509 --> 00:13:18,710
Yes.
326
00:13:25,918 --> 00:13:27,519
- You're wrong, Karen.
- What?
327
00:13:27,553 --> 00:13:31,189
You're wrong.
Men are the enemy.
328
00:13:31,224 --> 00:13:32,724
"Menemy" mine.
329
00:13:32,759 --> 00:13:33,792
"Menenemy."
330
00:13:33,826 --> 00:13:35,427
"Menemy" mine!
331
00:13:35,461 --> 00:13:36,628
Oh, I like that.
332
00:13:36,663 --> 00:13:39,665
That is good, Marcy.
Yes, I love that.
333
00:13:39,699 --> 00:13:41,767
That is the title
of my next book.
334
00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:42,768
Thank you.
335
00:13:42,802 --> 00:13:44,536
Uh...
Thank you.
336
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:47,272
Um,The Menemy,
my Ophelia Robins.
337
00:13:47,306 --> 00:13:49,708
How men devastate your vagina
338
00:13:49,742 --> 00:13:52,644
and suck out
your will to live.
339
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:53,812
Jesus.
340
00:13:53,846 --> 00:13:55,814
Catchy.
341
00:13:55,848 --> 00:13:57,749
You think
my utter hatred of men
342
00:13:57,784 --> 00:13:59,184
is very extreme,
don't you?
343
00:13:59,218 --> 00:14:00,185
- Uh...
- I don't.
344
00:14:00,219 --> 00:14:01,987
I do.
Yeah, I do.
345
00:14:02,021 --> 00:14:03,722
Well, let me
ask you this, Karen.
346
00:14:03,756 --> 00:14:06,658
Where exactly has
the princess myth gotten you?
347
00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:09,161
Because as far as I can tell,
everyone you've been with
348
00:14:09,195 --> 00:14:10,562
has grown tired of fucking you
349
00:14:10,596 --> 00:14:13,765
and wandered off into the tits
and pussy of someone else.
350
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,400
Not Bill.
351
00:14:15,435 --> 00:14:17,969
You got tired of boning Bill,
and you went back to Hank,
352
00:14:18,004 --> 00:14:19,538
and then Bates got
all chicken hawk on you.
353
00:14:19,572 --> 00:14:21,306
Okay, okay,
you don't need to, like--
354
00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:23,141
I was just getting
the history straight.
355
00:14:23,176 --> 00:14:26,011
Karen, you have got to work
on yourself.
356
00:14:26,045 --> 00:14:27,979
You need to just get away
357
00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:31,149
from this fairy-tale,
happy-ending fantasy
358
00:14:31,184 --> 00:14:32,851
and focus on the now.
359
00:14:32,885 --> 00:14:34,286
I mean, who are you?
360
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:35,787
What makes you happy?
361
00:14:35,822 --> 00:14:38,523
That's what I'm doing
right now--that is it.
362
00:14:38,558 --> 00:14:40,926
No, you're not.
You're fighting me.
363
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,662
You're a sophisticated,
intelligent woman.
364
00:14:43,696 --> 00:14:47,399
Why have you spent
so much time with boys?
365
00:14:47,433 --> 00:14:49,835
Boys are fun.
366
00:14:49,869 --> 00:14:51,670
Were you molested
as a child?
367
00:14:51,704 --> 00:14:53,138
- No.
- You know what?
368
00:14:53,172 --> 00:14:56,808
Seriously, I was.
I think I was.
369
00:14:56,843 --> 00:14:59,778
My crazy Uncle Andy used to walk
around the house bottomless
370
00:14:59,812 --> 00:15:01,246
when he babysat us.
371
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,048
Is that--does that count?
372
00:15:03,082 --> 00:15:06,518
Yes, of course
it counts, Marcy.
373
00:15:06,552 --> 00:15:09,621
The penis is not only
a disgusting appendage,
374
00:15:09,655 --> 00:15:12,157
it is also
a deadly weapon.
375
00:15:12,191 --> 00:15:14,659
And in my new book,
the one you just titled,
376
00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:17,195
I advocate the use
of a cock cage.
377
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:20,565
It's like
a male chastity device.
378
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,468
And I honestly--
I really think it should be...
379
00:15:23,503 --> 00:15:25,403
What is that?
We didn't order those.
380
00:15:25,438 --> 00:15:27,906
These are courtesy
of the gentlemen over there.
381
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:29,941
- Oh, that's so sweet.
- Oh, snap.
382
00:15:29,976 --> 00:15:31,743
- Oh, how dare they?
- Thank you.
383
00:15:31,778 --> 00:15:33,445
Still got it.
384
00:15:33,479 --> 00:15:35,981
- Ladies...
- Hi.
385
00:15:36,015 --> 00:15:37,315
Hey.
386
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:38,416
Hello, boys.
387
00:15:38,451 --> 00:15:40,552
Yes, we are ladies.
388
00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:42,354
And, uh, we appreciate
your interest,
389
00:15:42,388 --> 00:15:44,589
but this overture
was ill-conceived
390
00:15:44,624 --> 00:15:46,491
and amateurishly executed.
391
00:15:46,526 --> 00:15:48,426
So, if you buy us
enough of these,
392
00:15:48,461 --> 00:15:50,295
then we're just supposed
to spread our legs
393
00:15:50,329 --> 00:15:52,264
and suck your dirty cocks.
394
00:15:52,298 --> 00:15:54,132
Is that the deal?
That's the deal, right?
395
00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,801
That's the implied contract.
396
00:15:55,835 --> 00:15:57,369
Well, that wouldn't be
the worst way
397
00:15:57,403 --> 00:16:00,005
to end an evening, would it?
398
00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:01,807
Well, um, I guess not.
399
00:16:01,841 --> 00:16:04,442
But, uh, what about
the morning after,
400
00:16:04,477 --> 00:16:06,878
when we, uh, wake up
with savage morning breath
401
00:16:06,913 --> 00:16:10,448
and really bad gas from all
this beautiful stinky cheese?
402
00:16:10,483 --> 00:16:13,685
Will your morning wood last
through our explosive diarrhea?
403
00:16:13,719 --> 00:16:18,390
Will your love see us through
our hormonal fluctuations,
404
00:16:18,424 --> 00:16:21,126
perimenopause,
and total ovarian shutdown?
405
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,562
Because we're women, guys.
406
00:16:23,596 --> 00:16:25,230
And we fucking age.
407
00:16:25,264 --> 00:16:28,266
We don't remain eager
little fuck toys forever.
408
00:16:28,301 --> 00:16:30,268
So how about it?
409
00:16:30,303 --> 00:16:31,903
You still want to buy us
a drink?
410
00:16:31,938 --> 00:16:33,605
What do you mean no?
411
00:16:33,639 --> 00:16:35,307
Was it something I said?
What happened?
412
00:16:35,341 --> 00:16:38,410
You don't--
can I have your number?
413
00:16:38,444 --> 00:16:40,078
What, you going
back to your mommies?
414
00:16:40,112 --> 00:16:41,646
You fucking infants.
415
00:16:41,681 --> 00:16:44,916
- That was incredible, Marcy.
- Ay.
416
00:16:44,951 --> 00:16:47,619
You just took ownership
of your she-ness.
417
00:16:47,653 --> 00:16:48,653
Sweating.
418
00:16:48,688 --> 00:16:50,021
- That was just--oh!
- Thank you.
419
00:16:50,056 --> 00:16:51,857
- That's not even a word.
- Thank you.
420
00:16:51,891 --> 00:16:54,492
It is a word. It was the title
of my first book.
421
00:16:54,527 --> 00:16:57,629
All right,
who is up for dessert?
422
00:17:00,666 --> 00:17:03,602
♪
423
00:17:03,636 --> 00:17:06,071
Rachel has a big crush
on Charlie.
424
00:17:06,105 --> 00:17:09,708
- Why?
- He's cute.
425
00:17:09,742 --> 00:17:12,210
You know, he is cute.
426
00:17:12,245 --> 00:17:13,845
I give the guy
a lot of shit,
427
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,547
but he's pretty
fucking adorable,
428
00:17:15,581 --> 00:17:19,050
you know, in a walking
life-size penis kind of a way,
429
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:20,886
like a pez dispenser.
430
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,654
It's too bad
he's a 'mo.
431
00:17:22,688 --> 00:17:24,489
Oh, he's no 'mo.
432
00:17:24,523 --> 00:17:25,924
- He's not?
- Mm-mm.
433
00:17:25,958 --> 00:17:26,992
No, he's just pretending.
434
00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:28,526
He wanted to sign
the Mac Attack.
435
00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:32,430
The man does what he has to do.
He's a fucking closer--my boy.
436
00:17:32,465 --> 00:17:34,099
You should go up to him
and tell him you dig his steeze.
437
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:35,233
Yeah, he'll be so chuffed,
438
00:17:35,268 --> 00:17:36,668
he'll probably come
in his pants.
439
00:17:36,702 --> 00:17:38,069
You should stand back
a few feet.
440
00:17:38,104 --> 00:17:39,537
Seriously, keep your hands up.
441
00:17:39,572 --> 00:17:42,073
- Charlie, I want to thank you.
- You are welcome.
442
00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:43,408
I was coming out of rehab,
443
00:17:43,442 --> 00:17:45,377
and you took me
into your loving arms.
444
00:17:45,411 --> 00:17:48,213
I've never felt so protected.
That's what I do, Robbie.
445
00:17:48,247 --> 00:17:50,048
I'm so glad
I let you service me.
446
00:17:50,082 --> 00:17:53,518
I'm happy
to be servicing you.
447
00:17:53,552 --> 00:17:55,620
I think
we should make love.
448
00:17:55,655 --> 00:17:57,722
Yeewhat?
449
00:17:57,757 --> 00:17:59,190
We should fuck...
450
00:17:59,225 --> 00:18:01,693
Once at the very least.
451
00:18:01,727 --> 00:18:04,629
- Why?
- Because there's tension here.
452
00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:06,531
You're obviously
attracted to me,
453
00:18:06,565 --> 00:18:09,034
and while I'm not
physically attracted to you,
454
00:18:09,068 --> 00:18:10,969
I do feel enormously grateful,
455
00:18:11,003 --> 00:18:14,372
which can be even hotter
sometimes.
456
00:18:14,407 --> 00:18:16,374
I think you should blow me
for a while,
457
00:18:16,409 --> 00:18:18,376
and then I could finish up
in that cute, little doughy butt
458
00:18:18,411 --> 00:18:19,544
of yours.
459
00:18:19,578 --> 00:18:20,545
What do you say?
460
00:18:20,579 --> 00:18:22,280
No...
461
00:18:22,315 --> 00:18:24,049
Think about it.
462
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:26,985
I'll be back.
463
00:18:29,956 --> 00:18:31,389
Charlie...
464
00:18:31,424 --> 00:18:33,258
I know your secret, Charlie.
465
00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:34,626
You do?
466
00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:37,996
- I know you're just pretending.
- I am?
467
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:40,231
I am.
Yeah.
468
00:18:40,266 --> 00:18:41,833
I just wanted you to know
469
00:18:41,867 --> 00:18:44,936
that I have always
had a crush on you.
470
00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:46,705
I temped on your desk
years back,
471
00:18:46,739 --> 00:18:48,340
and I thought
about telling you,
472
00:18:48,374 --> 00:18:51,142
but then you got fired
for the masturbation video,
473
00:18:51,177 --> 00:18:53,812
and I missed my chance.
474
00:18:53,846 --> 00:18:57,849
If you have a moment,
I'd love to suck your dick.
475
00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:01,686
Why did you even do
the movie?
476
00:19:01,721 --> 00:19:03,355
It was such an epic
piece of shit.
477
00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:07,292
Crazy Little Thing made close
to $300 million worldwide.
478
00:19:07,326 --> 00:19:09,961
It cost 50.
It made my fucking career.
479
00:19:09,996 --> 00:19:11,262
And it tainted mine.
480
00:19:11,297 --> 00:19:13,031
Oh, please, you tainted
your own career.
481
00:19:13,065 --> 00:19:15,367
You're incredibly
difficult to work with.
482
00:19:15,401 --> 00:19:16,835
Yeah, right.
'Cause I wouldn't put out?
483
00:19:16,869 --> 00:19:18,336
Yeah,
I don't even remember this
484
00:19:18,371 --> 00:19:20,091
little incident
you keep prattling on about.
485
00:19:20,106 --> 00:19:21,506
Oh, bullshit.
486
00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:23,875
We were sitting in your office,
on your couch, just like this.
487
00:19:23,909 --> 00:19:26,978
And you leaned over,
and you smooched me...
488
00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:31,549
Just like that.
489
00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:35,220
And I do believe that you
even put your hand on my leg...
490
00:19:35,254 --> 00:19:37,822
Something like this.
Mm.
491
00:19:37,857 --> 00:19:40,325
- Ring a bell?
- If you say so.
492
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,028
I don't know if it's all
the gay sex talking or not,
493
00:19:43,062 --> 00:19:44,796
but you're looking pretty
fucking good to me right now.
494
00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:46,631
Wow.
Aren't you a charmer?
495
00:19:46,665 --> 00:19:49,667
I still think you're mean,
petty, and vindictive.
496
00:19:49,702 --> 00:19:52,570
But I'm thinking maybe
we should hate-fuck--
497
00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:56,007
you know, get the poison out.
- If you say so.
498
00:19:56,042 --> 00:19:59,144
So you admit it,
you're still into me.
499
00:19:59,178 --> 00:20:02,247
I'm sorry.
I changed my mind.
500
00:20:03,883 --> 00:20:06,751
Uh-uh, fuck you.
501
00:20:11,524 --> 00:20:14,459
Ooh!
502
00:20:14,493 --> 00:20:15,994
Aah!
503
00:20:16,028 --> 00:20:19,164
I am so fucking straight
right now!
504
00:20:19,198 --> 00:20:21,099
Okay.
505
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:22,600
Oh!
506
00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:25,170
Mammary glands!
507
00:20:25,204 --> 00:20:26,771
Okay, okay, Charlie,
just wait--wait a second.
508
00:20:28,074 --> 00:20:30,075
Charlie, I need to go pee
and put my diaphragm in.
509
00:20:30,109 --> 00:20:31,609
- Awesome!
- Okay.
510
00:20:31,644 --> 00:20:33,311
- You do that!
- Yeah.
511
00:20:33,345 --> 00:20:34,946
You do that.
God!
512
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:37,382
I love hearing
about all that girly stuff!
513
00:20:41,153 --> 00:20:43,254
Yes?
514
00:20:45,324 --> 00:20:48,660
Yes!
515
00:20:48,694 --> 00:20:52,130
Charlie, are
you ready for me?
516
00:20:52,164 --> 00:20:54,766
Oh, yes, you are.
517
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,902
You got all naked for Robbie.
518
00:20:57,937 --> 00:21:00,071
Here...
519
00:21:00,106 --> 00:21:01,406
Take a look.
520
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:05,410
That's British steel.
Wow.
521
00:21:05,444 --> 00:21:08,246
That is an impressive rig
you got there, Robbie.
522
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,414
Solid.
523
00:21:09,448 --> 00:21:13,084
Solid cock and balls,
that...
524
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:15,320
That's some real
movie-star shit right there.
525
00:21:15,354 --> 00:21:17,255
Thanks, Charlie.
526
00:21:17,289 --> 00:21:20,925
You want to wrap your lips
around this piece or what?
527
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,760
Uh...
528
00:21:22,795 --> 00:21:25,330
Well, it's really kind
of you to offer--
529
00:21:25,364 --> 00:21:27,098
- Charlie, what are you doing?
- Ew!
530
00:21:27,133 --> 00:21:29,334
Put some fucking clothes on,
girl--that shit is foul.
531
00:21:29,368 --> 00:21:31,236
Charlie, what the fuck is this?
She came on to me.
532
00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:32,804
She wouldn't take no
for an answer.
533
00:21:32,838 --> 00:21:34,005
She tried to rape me!
534
00:21:34,039 --> 00:21:35,440
I wouldn't touch her
with your dick.
535
00:21:35,474 --> 00:21:37,542
Really, really,
she's disgusting.
536
00:21:37,576 --> 00:21:39,277
You are a fucking asshole!
537
00:21:39,311 --> 00:21:41,980
You know what, Robbie?
He is just pretending to be gay!
538
00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:44,048
I don't believe that
for a second.
539
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:46,784
Charlie?
No! Fuck, no.
540
00:21:46,819 --> 00:21:49,654
Moment of truth, Charlie.
541
00:21:49,688 --> 00:21:53,124
Open up and say ahh.
542
00:21:56,896 --> 00:21:58,730
I can't!
543
00:21:58,764 --> 00:22:01,733
I got Hep-C?
544
00:22:01,767 --> 00:22:05,103
Guess what, buddy.
Me too.
545
00:22:06,405 --> 00:22:08,406
Come on, let's do this.
Suck that shit.
546
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,576
Okay, but, really,
my bigger concern is,
547
00:22:11,610 --> 00:22:13,344
what is this gonna do
548
00:22:13,379 --> 00:22:15,380
to our professional
relationship?
549
00:22:15,414 --> 00:22:18,983
Oh, I think it's gonna make
things a lot fucking hotter.
550
00:22:19,018 --> 00:22:20,552
Okay.
551
00:22:20,586 --> 00:22:22,353
Would you take a hand job?
552
00:22:22,388 --> 00:22:25,990
I think that there is a party
in your mouth tonight,
553
00:22:26,025 --> 00:22:27,926
Charlie Runkle,
554
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,428
and I'm coming.
555
00:22:30,462 --> 00:22:32,797
Okay. Okay.
556
00:22:36,068 --> 00:22:37,869
Okay!
557
00:22:37,903 --> 00:22:39,737
I can't! I can't!
558
00:22:39,772 --> 00:22:41,773
I'm sorry.
I just--I can't.
559
00:22:41,807 --> 00:22:44,075
I'm--I'm straight
as an arrow.
560
00:22:44,109 --> 00:22:45,610
I'm not perfectly straight.
561
00:22:45,644 --> 00:22:47,745
If I was in prison right now,
I'd probably be a total slut.
562
00:22:47,780 --> 00:22:49,547
But in the real world,
563
00:22:49,582 --> 00:22:52,016
I definitely prefer
the fairer sex.
564
00:22:52,051 --> 00:22:54,385
I'm so sorry.
565
00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:55,887
I'm so sorry.
566
00:22:55,921 --> 00:22:58,756
I just--I'm such a big fan,
and I just--
567
00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:00,225
I got caught up in a lie.
568
00:23:00,259 --> 00:23:02,827
You are a liar and a coward,
Charlie Runkle.
569
00:23:02,861 --> 00:23:05,063
Yes.
Yes, I am.
570
00:23:05,097 --> 00:23:07,599
You know what else you are?
571
00:23:09,568 --> 00:23:13,071
Fired.
572
00:23:13,105 --> 00:23:15,073
See?
573
00:23:15,107 --> 00:23:18,710
I feel the toxins about
to release from my body.
574
00:23:18,744 --> 00:23:20,078
Isn't this much better?
575
00:23:20,112 --> 00:23:24,415
All the resentment is about
to just explode out of me.
576
00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:27,919
We should have done this
years ago.
577
00:23:29,288 --> 00:23:31,823
Your career would probably be
in a lot better shape.
578
00:23:31,857 --> 00:23:33,224
Maybe.
You never know.
579
00:23:33,259 --> 00:23:36,394
I've been quite
the self-saboteur.
580
00:23:36,428 --> 00:23:39,063
- Hank?
- Yes, Charles?
581
00:23:39,098 --> 00:23:42,734
Hank, I've been found out.
The jig is up, Hank.
582
00:23:42,768 --> 00:23:44,102
I've been "inned."
583
00:23:44,136 --> 00:23:45,903
Can you give me
a few minutes?
584
00:23:45,938 --> 00:23:48,406
Just a few?
585
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:52,043
Oh, listen, lady,
I'm enjoying your whole...this.
586
00:23:52,077 --> 00:23:55,680
But I'm not exactly sure
how I feel about you in general.
587
00:23:55,714 --> 00:23:59,350
You know, you did fire me
and then had me rewritten,
588
00:23:59,385 --> 00:24:01,019
which led
to a nasty chain of events,
589
00:24:01,053 --> 00:24:04,689
which, in turn, led to
a devastating downward spiral.
590
00:24:04,723 --> 00:24:07,859
So don't let the hardness
of Hank Jr. fool you.
591
00:24:07,893 --> 00:24:09,961
Uh, that shit
did not sit well with me.
592
00:24:09,995 --> 00:24:13,197
Would you guys be interested
in a third, by any chance?
593
00:24:13,232 --> 00:24:16,034
I'm fucking horny as hell
right now.
594
00:24:20,239 --> 00:24:24,976
Once a bottom-feeder,
always a bottom-feeder.
595
00:24:28,247 --> 00:24:30,615
Fuck you, Hank.
Hmm.
596
00:24:32,284 --> 00:24:33,985
Should we assume
the deal is off?
597
00:24:34,019 --> 00:24:36,454
Of course
the deal is off, Hank!
598
00:24:36,488 --> 00:24:40,124
And if the deal is off,
I'm fired as fuck right now!
599
00:24:44,763 --> 00:24:47,732
And the thing they never
tell you is how hard it is--
600
00:24:47,766 --> 00:24:51,069
growing up, finding your place
in the world,
601
00:24:51,103 --> 00:24:53,438
accepting your fate.
602
00:24:53,472 --> 00:24:55,807
But if you're lucky,
you have someone in your life
603
00:24:55,841 --> 00:24:57,809
who gets you...
604
00:24:57,843 --> 00:24:59,844
Who accepts you
for who you are...
605
00:24:59,878 --> 00:25:03,781
Who ever so gently nudges you
towards your destiny.
606
00:25:03,816 --> 00:25:06,651
So, yeah,
I guess you could say
607
00:25:06,685 --> 00:25:08,419
I was born to be a writer...
608
00:25:08,454 --> 00:25:09,821
which is weird,
609
00:25:09,855 --> 00:25:13,424
because I definitely wanted
something else for myself...
610
00:25:13,459 --> 00:25:15,259
Something big...
611
00:25:15,294 --> 00:25:16,794
larger than life.
612
00:25:16,829 --> 00:25:20,164
But it's a waste of time,
wanting things,
613
00:25:20,199 --> 00:25:23,301
because sooner or later,
the thing that wants you
614
00:25:23,335 --> 00:25:26,838
is just gonna come up
and tap you on the shoulder.
615
00:25:26,872 --> 00:25:29,507
And you might
want to be ready.
616
00:25:40,753 --> 00:25:44,322
Good evening, ladies.
617
00:25:44,356 --> 00:25:46,257
- Fuck you, Hank.
- What did I do?
618
00:25:46,291 --> 00:25:47,825
- You have a penis.
- Uh-huh.
619
00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:49,560
And she's embracing
her she-ness.
620
00:25:49,595 --> 00:25:50,895
You can't come in.
621
00:25:50,929 --> 00:25:53,698
I like your poetry, woman,
but I don't understand.
622
00:25:53,732 --> 00:25:55,466
You don't need to.
It's okay.
623
00:25:55,501 --> 00:25:56,868
So what's up?
What's up?
624
00:25:56,902 --> 00:25:58,536
I'll tell you what's up.
625
00:25:58,570 --> 00:26:00,304
Our daughter's pretty fucking
talented--that's what's up.
626
00:26:00,339 --> 00:26:01,706
- I know.
- Mm-hmm.
627
00:26:01,740 --> 00:26:03,875
You came all this way to tell
me something I already know?
628
00:26:03,909 --> 00:26:06,811
No, I came all this way
to tell you how sorry I am
629
00:26:06,845 --> 00:26:11,482
for my shameful self-indulgence
over the past few months.
630
00:26:11,517 --> 00:26:12,817
It's okay.
631
00:26:12,851 --> 00:26:14,485
You don't owe me
anything, Hank.
632
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,320
I'm just glad
that you're feeling better.
633
00:26:16,355 --> 00:26:18,656
I-I do. I-I feel better.
634
00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:20,024
Mmhmm.
635
00:26:20,058 --> 00:26:22,860
And now that I'm relatively
clean and soberish,
636
00:26:22,895 --> 00:26:26,063
I'm painfully aware
of how we left things.
637
00:26:26,098 --> 00:26:28,466
It's just--I mean, I...
638
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,535
It's all so--
unresolved?
639
00:26:30,569 --> 00:26:32,336
Yes, exactly.
640
00:26:32,371 --> 00:26:34,338
Yes.
641
00:26:34,373 --> 00:26:37,175
It may have to stay
that way for a while.
642
00:26:37,209 --> 00:26:38,342
I figured as much.
643
00:26:38,377 --> 00:26:40,678
But, uh,
we should reconvene again
644
00:26:40,712 --> 00:26:41,813
and talk about this--
645
00:26:41,847 --> 00:26:44,015
the state of our union
and whatnot...
646
00:26:44,049 --> 00:26:45,683
Sometime soon.
647
00:26:45,717 --> 00:26:46,751
Hmm?
648
00:26:46,785 --> 00:26:48,853
- Let's play it by ear.
- Okay, we will.
649
00:26:48,887 --> 00:26:50,521
We'll play it by ear.
650
00:26:50,556 --> 00:26:51,656
But in the meantime,
651
00:26:51,690 --> 00:26:54,025
because of our pure-of-heart
little munchkin
652
00:26:54,059 --> 00:26:55,760
beautiful daughter...
Mmhmm.
653
00:26:55,794 --> 00:26:57,261
I'm going off
to write something.
654
00:26:57,296 --> 00:26:58,963
- You're gonna write something?
- I don't know what it is.
655
00:26:58,997 --> 00:27:00,431
Really?
656
00:27:00,466 --> 00:27:01,966
I'm gonna make
my intentions known, Karen.
657
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,634
Put it down on paper.
Interesting.
658
00:27:03,669 --> 00:27:06,137
- Prepare to be John Woo'd.
- I will.
659
00:27:06,171 --> 00:27:08,473
I'm excited for you.
Good.
660
00:27:08,507 --> 00:27:13,144
And I'm okay with all this.
I'm relatively sanguine.
661
00:27:13,178 --> 00:27:17,815
In fact...
I am the sanguinator.
662
00:27:17,850 --> 00:27:19,817
Goodgood night.
663
00:27:23,021 --> 00:27:23,988
Um...
So...
664
00:27:24,022 --> 00:27:25,490
Good. Okay.
665
00:27:25,524 --> 00:27:29,494
- Till we meet again.
- Mm-hmm.
666
00:27:29,528 --> 00:27:32,163
- Good night, Karen.
- Good night, Hank.
667
00:27:32,197 --> 00:27:34,899
♪ Don't let the sadness grow
668
00:27:34,933 --> 00:27:37,435
♪
669
00:27:37,469 --> 00:27:42,640
♪ You're beautiful,
don't you know? ♪
670
00:27:43,876 --> 00:27:49,180
♪ And it's easy
to dive into doubt ♪
671
00:27:50,382 --> 00:27:56,024
♪ but harder
to climb back out ♪
672
00:27:56,649 --> 00:28:01,741
♪ So come heart that
are scared and alone ♪
673
00:28:03,327 --> 00:28:08,507
♪ Let love give you
warmth in the cold ♪
674
00:28:09,913 --> 00:28:15,590
♪ Let faith and hope
lead you on ♪
675
00:28:16,584 --> 00:28:21,355
♪ Let joy be the
theme of your song ♪
676
00:28:23,209 --> 00:28:25,209
== sync, corrected by elderman ==