1
00:00:00,110 --> 00:00:01,776
<i>previously on "Californication"</i>

2
00:00:01,831 --> 00:00:04,454
I was talking with Dani here
about our sexual problem

3
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:05,985
she is totally in

4
00:00:07,023 --> 00:00:08,718
I gotta get my camera, this is...

5
00:00:09,401 --> 00:00:10,986
- Motherfucker!
- Oh, sorry!

6
00:00:11,041 --> 00:00:14,192
Most recently I gave man birth
to a wealthy tome called...

7
00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:17,025
- "God Hates Us All"
- which was turned into a movie called...

8
00:00:17,039 --> 00:00:19,581
"A Crazy Little Thing Called Love".

9
00:00:19,635 --> 00:00:23,297
You drink too much...write too little
and the only exercise you get is in the bedroom

10
00:00:23,379 --> 00:00:26,959
Some Folks have compared the way,
for your new novel

11
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:30,238
to the decade plus wait
of the new Guns' n Roses album

12
00:00:31,291 --> 00:00:33,928
- How is the new book coming?
- Now, that's a hostile question

13
00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:35,458
Hank, I got you a ticket

14
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:38,191
I hope that's fully refundable
because I ain't going.

15
00:00:38,218 --> 00:00:39,967
You're not going to your dad's funeral?

16
00:00:40,049 --> 00:00:41,552
He was a fucking asshole.

17
00:00:41,621 --> 00:00:44,025
Hank, you are not your father

18
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:00,764
Holy Shit!

19
00:01:01,338 --> 00:01:02,322
Ehi!

20
00:01:02,581 --> 00:01:04,248
I was just about to call the super shuttle!!

21
00:01:04,303 --> 00:01:05,314
- Ehi.
- Ehi.

22
00:01:05,778 --> 00:01:08,347
How Are You? How Was It?

23
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,039
Hank!

24
00:01:11,107 --> 00:01:12,074
- too much fair?
- you slapped it

25
00:01:12,075 --> 00:01:12,775
with the pelvis?

26
00:01:12,993 --> 00:01:14,469
I thought maybe I could get little, uh,

27
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,067
half a grind there,
but maybe not

28
00:01:16,149 --> 00:01:18,828
- You know, I'm not here to pick you up
- I know!!

29
00:01:18,882 --> 00:01:21,560
- I'm here for Bill.
- You don't think i saw Bilbo's bag in first class?

30
00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:23,938
- You did?
- Ehi, he doesn't travel very light, doesn't he?

31
00:01:24,102 --> 00:01:25,796
Give the guy a break.
Ehi!

32
00:01:26,657 --> 00:01:28,679
- He has been away for a month.
- Yeah, what can happen in a month...

33
00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:31,740
- A lot did...
- You shut up! Don't-say-a-word.

34
00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:42,562
Ehi, don't hold back at my account, guys

35
00:01:42,753 --> 00:01:43,983
- No.
- Really?

36
00:01:44,994 --> 00:01:47,399
Because if It was me
I would grab that ass.

37
00:01:47,973 --> 00:01:49,394
I would grab it like I own it,

38
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,307
expecially after such a prolonged absence

39
00:01:51,717 --> 00:01:53,930
Would now be the appropriate time, Hank,
to say how...

40
00:01:53,985 --> 00:01:55,980
sorry I am for your lost?

41
00:01:56,527 --> 00:01:58,781
Well, actually, would have been more
appropriate about three hours ago,

42
00:01:58,808 --> 00:02:00,844
with a free drink and an ice cream Sundae.

43
00:02:00,926 --> 00:02:02,897
What the fuck you're doing
with all those towels, anyway?

44
00:02:02,898 --> 00:02:04,498
you got a bad case of swamp ass?

45
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:06,474
It must have been a very long flight

46
00:02:06,556 --> 00:02:08,633
and I thing this is where
we should part company

47
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:10,478
I think I see a cab with my name on it

48
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,625
Don't be ridiculous

49
00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:13,333
Ah, Bill, it's just a figure of speech.

50
00:02:13,361 --> 00:02:14,864
There's really not a cab
with my name on it.

51
00:02:14,891 --> 00:02:16,722
- No, We'll give you a ride home, Hank.
- Really?

52
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,539
Wow, that's plenty wide to you

53
00:02:18,621 --> 00:02:19,640
- No, he likes cabs,
- Sure

54
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,350
'cause it reminds him the Big Apple

55
00:02:21,436 --> 00:02:23,103
No...We live all in the same neighbourhood, so...

56
00:02:23,171 --> 00:02:24,893
no need to punish the environment,
unnecessary

57
00:02:24,948 --> 00:02:26,751
no need to punish the environment

58
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:27,790
- unnecessary
- that you'll put out, of course

59
00:02:28,063 --> 00:02:29,430
This? yeah, of course, yeah.

60
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,192
and... here!

61
00:02:33,597 --> 00:02:34,991
I got shotgun!

62
00:02:38,017 --> 00:02:43,400
subsbusters.blogspot.com
proudly presents

63
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Season 01Episode 09
"Filthy Lucre"

64
00:03:21,087 --> 00:03:22,153
No way, man!

65
00:03:22,973 --> 00:03:25,651
What the fuck is so great about
that $30 salad, anyway?

66
00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:30,912
Yes, shit, ok, yeah, fine. Whatever!

67
00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:32,688
That's fine. Eight o'clock

68
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:35,571
you were not plan on cooking tonight, were you?

69
00:03:35,653 --> 00:03:38,413
I gotta go at Coy for the
four hundreth fucking time

70
00:03:39,670 --> 00:03:42,813
Sometimes I'm surprised I don't shit
crispy-rise with spices tuna

71
00:03:44,261 --> 00:03:45,819
You wanna I bring you something home?

72
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:47,705
Maybe some baked crab rolls?

73
00:03:47,759 --> 00:03:51,257
We can eat it in bed, while we watch all those
CSI Miami I've saved up on TIVO.

74
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:54,113
What do you think? What do you think? A little...
late-night snack with your snack daddy?

75
00:03:55,316 --> 00:03:56,135
I'm good

76
00:03:56,286 --> 00:03:59,319
I actually thing...
I might have a thing...tonight.

77
00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:02,831
a thing?

78
00:04:03,036 --> 00:04:04,184
Yeah, I'm...

79
00:04:04,402 --> 00:04:05,796
thinking about going at the book club

80
00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:08,650
well, You'll be home early then

81
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,738
Earliest, I guess.

82
00:04:11,994 --> 00:04:13,402
Why so curious all of a sudden?

83
00:04:13,418 --> 00:04:14,746
I thing you said you're going out tonight

84
00:04:14,802 --> 00:04:15,586
I'm not...

85
00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:17,626
I'm not curious all of a sudden, I just...

86
00:04:17,706 --> 00:04:19,834
I happen I know you hate that fucking
book club, that's all.

87
00:04:19,986 --> 00:04:22,738
Yeah, Well, When you commit to something,
you're supposed to stick with it

88
00:04:24,634 --> 00:04:25,290
Sure

89
00:04:29,194 --> 00:04:30,394
I guess I'll leave you to it, then.

90
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:32,026
Uh...see you later.

91
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:34,906
later

92
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,260
Dad!

93
00:05:33,630 --> 00:05:35,198
That's my name. Don't wear it out.

94
00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:40,479
You guys. Oh My God. That was incredible.

95
00:05:40,528 --> 00:05:43,834
- I want you to play that song at the wedding.
-  Let's not get carried away...

96
00:05:44,291 --> 00:05:45,710
What? What do you mean?

97
00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:48,161
I mean...you're very, very good, but....

98
00:05:48,277 --> 00:05:52,380
Well, I think if you give 'em some time, Bill,
they could bone up on some Supertramp.

99
00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:56,250
I don't get it.
why you don't want them to play that song? or...

100
00:05:56,756 --> 00:06:00,217
No, no, I, I don't mean anything
I thought we decided on the string quartet.

101
00:06:00,296 --> 00:06:04,150
- Bill, what?
- We just haven't talk about any of this...and I...

102
00:06:04,151 --> 00:06:05,151
think, perhaps...

103
00:06:05,254 --> 00:06:06,849
- Ehi, Bec?
- Yes, Posh?

104
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:09,197
I thing your guests could use a beverage.
What do you think?

105
00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:10,281
Agreed.

106
00:06:11,792 --> 00:06:14,035
Ehy, Ehy, I don't want to get your hopes up,
guys.

107
00:06:14,295 --> 00:06:16,305
But you keep rolling
with the marital discord,

108
00:06:16,445 --> 00:06:19,072
and I see you across from Oprah
on a big yellow couch.

109
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,462
Fingers crossed.

110
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:26,094
Okay, great.

111
00:06:26,095 --> 00:06:27,295
- thank you
- you're welcome

112
00:06:27,296 --> 00:06:28,096
Are you coming up?

113
00:06:28,212 --> 00:06:29,541
No. Why?

114
00:06:29,878 --> 00:06:32,746
- For make up the sex.
- Are you fucking insane, Hank?

115
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,902
Ok. We can do it rigth here.
Do the seats on this recline?

116
00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:39,659
Hank, whatever sex we're gonna have,
we've had, okay?

117
00:06:40,011 --> 00:06:41,863
- It's over
- It's little late to play hard to get.

118
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,707
- don't you think?
- We need to start acting like we split up already.

119
00:06:44,796 --> 00:06:46,327
Ok? Let's just forget about it.

120
00:06:46,354 --> 00:06:49,105
Forget? Who could forget
such a knee-rattling orgasm?

121
00:06:49,245 --> 00:06:52,198
You were grieving.
I was co-grieving. It was a slip.

122
00:06:52,158 --> 00:06:55,076
It was a good sleep. I think you knocked 
something loose down there, tiger.

123
00:06:55,077 --> 00:06:55,777
Hank

124
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I wrote something.

125
00:06:59,612 --> 00:07:01,062
That's great, Hank.

126
00:07:01,962 --> 00:07:04,253
I don't think you heard me.
I wrote something.

127
00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:07,672
Not that blog shit, other, something real.
That's why I was in New York for so long.

128
00:07:07,812 --> 00:07:10,153
I went there and just sat down
at my mother's Old Smith Corona.

129
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,279
- I didn't get up for two weeks.
- Wow

130
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,780
I got pages here, honey... many pages.

131
00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:17,258
- It's rough, but it's something.
- That's great, that's great. 

132
00:07:17,259 --> 00:07:18,259
I wish you a lot of luck.

133
00:07:18,318 --> 00:07:19,400
Luck is all I get? What's it?

134
00:07:19,401 --> 00:07:22,201
You fucked it out of me, and now
you don't want to take responsibility for it?

135
00:07:22,071 --> 00:07:25,239
Hanky no, fuck you.
I'm not that person anymore, okay?

136
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:28,218
I'm not your fucking
sounding-board-Cum-security blanket.

137
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:31,137
- i have my own life
- You're not in the least bit interested?

138
00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:34,240
- Yes, of course. I'm fucking curious
- Fine, then it's settled. There it is.

139
00:07:34,512 --> 00:07:36,692
- I cannot read it
- I heard it but I'm not taking no for an answer.

140
00:07:36,693 --> 00:07:37,193
Hank

141
00:07:37,265 --> 00:07:38,037
I'm sure it's very good. 

142
00:07:38,038 --> 00:07:39,638
- I'm sure it's excellent.
- No, no. i'm not sure is very good

143
00:07:39,697 --> 00:07:43,182
Most likely, it's a piece of crap.
The promise I won't know until you tell me.

144
00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:44,271
- no. don't do that!
- 'cause that's the way it goes.


145
00:07:44,272 --> 00:07:46,472
That's the way is always gone.
I give it to you, and you tell me.

146
00:07:46,473 --> 00:07:48,842
I can't tell the difference between
the ridiculous and the sublime

147
00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:51,661
<i>until you tell me.
Now, be careful with that.</i>

148
00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:53,126
You've got my life there in your hands.

149
00:07:53,186 --> 00:07:55,546
Hank, dont' say...
This is just words, you know.

150
00:07:55,547 --> 00:07:57,247
It's words, okay. Take it.

151
00:07:58,006 --> 00:08:00,141
Well, words is all I have left
to play with.

152
00:08:00,412 --> 00:08:01,992
So be gentle...now,

153
00:08:02,078 --> 00:08:05,215
Please tell Becca to expect a gentleman 
call and to put on her best frak

154
00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:07,106
- Thank you
- Hank, please, take this.

155
00:08:07,271 --> 00:08:10,147
but thank you... honestly, thank you. 
Smell you later.

156
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,405
Fuck.

157
00:08:41,616 --> 00:08:43,823
Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it!

158
00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:47,146
- Okay, you're a good agent.
- That's right, motherfucker!

159
00:08:47,406 --> 00:08:50,071
If it hadn't been for me putting
that little clause in your contract,

160
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,872
and been as handsome as I am

161
00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:54,002
then you wouldn't be holding
that big, fat wad of cash, rigth now.

162
00:08:54,002 --> 00:08:55,960
Yeah, fucking blood money is what it is.

163
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,907
Who the fuck cares what it is?

164
00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:00,131
Thanks to
the aggressively mediocre taste

165
00:09:00,271 --> 00:09:03,412
of the American movie going public,
you now get to reap the benefits.

166
00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:05,967
Bonus time, baby. Treat yourself.

167
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:08,179
- Treat myself?
- Yeah, sure

168
00:09:08,254 --> 00:09:10,711
- Get yourself a new car.
- I don't want a new car.

169
00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:12,713
I like my old one. It's got character.

170
00:09:12,973 --> 00:09:15,972
Yeah, Well. If by character, 
you mean lady juice in every

171
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,073
nook and cranny of the upholstery,

172
00:09:17,112 --> 00:09:18,603
then, yes, you're absolutely right.

173
00:09:18,663 --> 00:09:21,472
- That explains a lot, actually.
- So, get it washed then.

174
00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:24,071
Ehy, you know, what now? you could probably, 
you know, even get yourself

175
00:09:24,111 --> 00:09:26,985
one of those little
prepaid coupon booklets, right?

176
00:09:27,045 --> 00:09:28,891
You put it in the glove compartment.
That's how I roll.

177
00:09:29,148 --> 00:09:31,639
- That's how you roll?
- That's how I roll, baby.

178
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,007
I did purchase
what is commonly referred to

179
00:09:34,014 --> 00:09:37,100
by the kids as a big-ticket item.

180
00:09:37,964 --> 00:09:39,297
What'd be that?

181
00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:45,547
OK. I'm getting a bad feeling here.

182
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,941
- Why is that?
- Because I'm thinking

183
00:09:47,942 --> 00:09:51,127
 you intend to give that to someone
 who might already be engaged.

184
00:09:51,187 --> 00:09:54,410
- That's the plan, motherfucker.
- Don't do this to yourself, Hank.

185
00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:57,133
What? Come on, Charlie.
Don't do what to myself?

186
00:09:57,393 --> 00:09:59,427
Don't go after what I want?
I've done the research.

187
00:09:59,687 --> 00:10:01,920
Karen and I belong together.
And I feel good.

188
00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:05,505
Lately... just the past little while,
things are looking up for me.

189
00:10:05,645 --> 00:10:07,476
I feel a change. I wrote something.

190
00:10:07,812 --> 00:10:08,818
Wait. You, you...

191
00:10:09,383 --> 00:10:10,390
You what?

192
00:10:12,984 --> 00:10:14,835
You wrote something? Okay.

193
00:10:16,376 --> 00:10:18,693
I've dreamed
about this moment, alright,

194
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,236
the one where you come to me,
pages in hand.

195
00:10:21,443 --> 00:10:24,202
You say, "please read this."
I do, and it's fucking genius.

196
00:10:24,492 --> 00:10:28,919
I sell it, we both get our sells back on track,
and we all live happily ever fucking after.

197
00:10:29,345 --> 00:10:31,195
- Fuck me. No pressure there.
- What did you write?

198
00:10:31,335 --> 00:10:33,394
What is it? A screenplay?
A short story? What?

199
00:10:33,395 --> 00:10:34,195
Fuck that noise!

200
00:10:34,054 --> 00:10:36,255
No more screenplays for me.
It's a novel.

201
00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:41,214
It's a short novel. More like in the valley
It's a modern-day answer to "Lolita," really.

202
00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:44,982
You know, an older man
unwittingly beds an underage girl.

203
00:10:45,274 --> 00:10:48,072
It unravels his life completely.
High jinks ensue.

204
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,849
Broner. You gave me a broner.

205
00:10:51,245 --> 00:10:53,095
Where is it? Let me read it! Ehy!!

206
00:10:53,365 --> 00:10:55,066
Dani, cancel my lunch!

207
00:10:55,326 --> 00:10:57,777
I gave it to Karen.
She reads all my stuff first.

208
00:10:58,037 --> 00:11:01,800
Yes, So, you know? Slip me a copy. I promise
I won't read it till after she's done.

209
00:11:01,988 --> 00:11:04,639
That's the only one.
I went old-school this time.

210
00:11:04,779 --> 00:11:06,702
I hunted and pecked
like a motherfucker.

211
00:11:06,962 --> 00:11:09,506
Whatever.
This is great fucking news, Pal!

212
00:11:09,575 --> 00:11:12,867
I'm not so sure, Charlie.
I mean, you know, most likely, it sucks.

213
00:11:13,017 --> 00:11:16,238
Well, Yes. Is that why I come in. Right?
You see? I'll sell the shit out of it.

214
00:11:16,548 --> 00:11:19,224
By the time I get through spinning,
nobody will be able to tell

215
00:11:19,242 --> 00:11:22,551
whether if it's a piece of shit or the work
of staggering genius.

216
00:11:22,878 --> 00:11:24,428
There's a difference?

217
00:11:53,842 --> 00:11:54,842
Hi.

218
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:57,314
Oh, Leave me alone.

219
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:00,100
- Uh, A hostile...
- No, I'm browsing.

220
00:12:00,326 --> 00:12:03,926
If I have any questions, I'll ask you.
Now, shoo, you little parasite, you.

221
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,930
- Ops, She's still coming...
- What do you do?

222
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:11,362
- I'm a writer.
- Oh, yeah? Movies? TV?

223
00:12:12,094 --> 00:12:15,146
Books. Novels. The occasional haiku.

224
00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:19,013
Uh. Alright, well, let me know
if you have any questions.

225
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:20,651
What the fuck was that?

226
00:12:21,405 --> 00:12:23,803
- What?
- You just blow me off. You think I can't afford

227
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,490
this penile implant on wheels,
so you're done with me.

228
00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:28,836
- No. I didn't say that.
- You didn't have to.

229
00:12:29,024 --> 00:12:30,286
Guy's got feelings.

230
00:12:33,117 --> 00:12:35,166
This one. I want to drive this one.

231
00:12:39,271 --> 00:12:41,476
- Let me get the keys.
- Please.

232
00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:45,259
- I love L.A.
- So, what do you think?

233
00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:48,185
- It's really clean.
- That's it?

234
00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:51,672
This is one of the finest automobiles
the world has to offer.

235
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,100
I'm not a big car guy.

236
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,630
I think if I got to open it up
past, like, 7 mph,

237
00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:58,796
I might really fall in love with it.

238
00:12:59,065 --> 00:13:02,105
Will you get off that fucking phone
before I stuff it up your ass? I'm done

239
00:13:02,245 --> 00:13:05,519
- Hey, buddy!
- What, are you kidding me?

240
00:13:06,145 --> 00:13:08,115
I kid you not, sir. Shame on you.

241
00:13:08,294 --> 00:13:09,744
Mind your own fucking business.

242
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,593
Oh, come on! You don't wanna 
be that guy. Do you? Look at her!

243
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:15,956
She's perfect. She's drop-dead.
She's firecrackers on the 4th!

244
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,584
You'll never do better, but she can.
You know what I'm saying?

245
00:13:23,059 --> 00:13:24,547
So, tell me something.

246
00:13:25,834 --> 00:13:29,075
What do I have to do
to get you into this car?

247
00:13:30,891 --> 00:13:32,982
Well, let's talk about the extras.

248
00:13:48,853 --> 00:13:52,076
I like the BMW, too, though.
No, I like it. It's roomy.

249
00:13:52,675 --> 00:13:54,860
It's leather! Leather!

250
00:14:03,412 --> 00:14:05,262
Hey, honey, your dad's here!

251
00:14:08,178 --> 00:14:11,019
- What the fuck is that?
- Just ignore that.

252
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,178
It's hard. It's very shiny.

253
00:14:13,565 --> 00:14:14,938
- What about that? Did you?
- What?

254
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:18,394
Any thoughts? Notes?
Did the kool-aid still taste as sweet?

255
00:14:18,654 --> 00:14:22,203
Shall I turn around so you can
blow smoke up my ass more easily?

256
00:14:22,397 --> 00:14:25,947
- You wanna fuck me 'cause I'm a genius?
- I didn't have a second to breathe, I'm so sorry.

257
00:14:26,479 --> 00:14:29,039
- I really am.
- No, don't be sorry. I mean...I...

258
00:14:30,707 --> 00:14:32,908
Honey...I just thought 
you'd be more intrigued.

259
00:14:33,221 --> 00:14:34,985
No, I am intrigued.

260
00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:37,328
- I'm also kind of...
- Horny?

261
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:43,912
No, what? Like you? Like 23 hours a day?
Like some rutting moose, no.

262
00:14:43,913 --> 00:14:44,513
I should tell you something

263
00:14:44,596 --> 00:14:47,339
The Billdo is back in black,
and you're not warm for his form.

264
00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:49,467
That shit tells me something.

265
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:52,810
I'll just grab the Becca.
You gotta catch up about your reading.

266
00:14:53,129 --> 00:14:55,223
It's even more phallic
than the last one.

267
00:14:55,524 --> 00:14:58,016
- You like?
- I liked the old one better.

268
00:14:58,534 --> 00:15:01,760
It had character...
And a funky smell.

269
00:15:02,547 --> 00:15:04,974
- Where are we going?
- It's a surprise.

270
00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:08,297
I suggest you brew
one of your special teas,

271
00:15:08,504 --> 00:15:11,388
settle into a backbreaking piece
of modern furniture,

272
00:15:11,528 --> 00:15:13,776
and curl up with your favorite author.

273
00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:16,785
A Martin Amis, or a Virginia Woolf
or a Charles Bukowksi?

274
00:15:17,056 --> 00:15:18,394
Imposters, all.

275
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:31,450
Whatever I want?

276
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,779
Whatever you want.

277
00:15:34,482 --> 00:15:36,347
The possibilities are endless.

278
00:15:36,517 --> 00:15:39,316
Go with something classic and timeless,

279
00:15:39,579 --> 00:15:43,335
something that looks like Keith Richards
might have throw up on it at some point,

280
00:15:44,017 --> 00:15:48,350
something that would make Jon Bon Jovi
quake in his acid-washed jeans.

281
00:15:49,495 --> 00:15:50,663
Like that one?

282
00:15:51,077 --> 00:15:52,565
This blue one? Yeah.

283
00:15:53,255 --> 00:15:57,305
- Hey, man. Is Dave around, man?
- No, he's on vacation.

284
00:15:59,296 --> 00:16:02,298
- You need some help?
- No, he's an old friend of mine.

285
00:16:02,505 --> 00:16:05,167
I just figured he could help me
with some cash.

286
00:16:06,557 --> 00:16:07,419
Bummer.

287
00:16:10,974 --> 00:16:12,466
Come on, pretty girl.

288
00:16:14,812 --> 00:16:15,776
Father?

289
00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:17,551
Offspring?

290
00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:20,327
That was a nice guitar.

291
00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:24,283
Yes. Sometimes, it's best not to get
involved in the affairs of others.

292
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,201
That's interesting,

293
00:16:26,415 --> 00:16:28,732
coming from
the most intrusive man I know.

294
00:16:32,447 --> 00:16:33,691
Hey, excuse me!

295
00:16:35,374 --> 00:16:37,782
That's a beautiful fiddle
you've got there.

296
00:16:38,059 --> 00:16:40,161
- Yeah?
- Yeah, how much you want for it?

297
00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:42,653
- It's worth a lot, man.
- Yeah, I'll bet.

298
00:16:42,911 --> 00:16:45,291
I can put it on EBay
and get over 10 grand, easy.

299
00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,713
Yeah, how much you want for it?

300
00:16:48,312 --> 00:16:51,545
- I'd take a grand.
- You said it's worth 10 at least, right?

301
00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:54,883
Yeah, well... you gotta do
what you gotta do, man.

302
00:16:55,194 --> 00:16:56,510
Yeah, I hear that.

303
00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:01,807
How about 13.5?

304
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:05,653
- Come on, man. Don't fuck with me.
- I'm a couple hundred short.

305
00:17:05,879 --> 00:17:08,780
If you give me your address,
I can send you a check.

306
00:17:15,195 --> 00:17:17,300
Don't worry about it.
Just play it in good health.

307
00:17:17,541 --> 00:17:18,768
Thank you.

308
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:23,132
My lady, your ax awaits.

309
00:17:24,132 --> 00:17:25,963
- You're a good daughter.
- My hair.

310
00:17:26,205 --> 00:17:27,562
I'm sorry. Come on.

311
00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:37,760
I have a confession to make.

312
00:17:38,899 --> 00:17:41,262
- Yes?
- You know what you said earlier

313
00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:44,475
about not wanting Becca
to play at the wedding?

314
00:17:45,778 --> 00:17:47,794
Bill, that really bothered me.

315
00:17:48,086 --> 00:17:50,294
I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.

316
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,192
I just don't want our wedding
to be some big joke.

317
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:56,662
I don't want it to be
some kind of adults-only affair,

318
00:17:56,850 --> 00:18:00,034
you know, all stuffy.
I want it to be fun and whimsical

319
00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:02,954
and something
we're gonna remember forever.

320
00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:07,593
Alright, I hear you.
Maybe Becca can learn some...

321
00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:11,640
Van Morrison.
There's nothing that makes this man cry

322
00:18:11,929 --> 00:18:12,954
like a little "Brown eyed girl."

323
00:18:13,261 --> 00:18:15,964
Ok, Bill...
That's definitely a compromise.

324
00:18:18,991 --> 00:18:20,803
Bill, there's something else I want to tell...

325
00:18:21,206 --> 00:18:23,327
One second! One second...

326
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,639
- Hi, Bill.
- "Dad" or "daddy," please.

327
00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:30,744
- Hey.
- Hey.

328
00:18:30,911 --> 00:18:34,226
- What's this?
- It's Hank's new book.

329
00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:37,670
Hank wrote a new book?
Well, fuck me running!

330
00:18:38,637 --> 00:18:40,469
Sorry. Can I read it?

331
00:18:42,085 --> 00:18:44,279
I don't think that's appropriate.

332
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,648
Well, is it good?

333
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,998
- I haven't read it yet.
- Why not?

334
00:18:50,801 --> 00:18:51,959
What is this?

335
00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:02,094
- Oh, my god. How did you even
- Well, I remembered you saying

336
00:19:02,354 --> 00:19:04,826
how much you liked
the view from your dorm room so...

337
00:19:05,372 --> 00:19:08,074
I convinced these
lovely little N.Y.U co-eds

338
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:10,208
to let me take
a picture from their dorm room,

339
00:19:10,348 --> 00:19:12,813
which, once upon a time,
was your dorm room.

340
00:19:14,181 --> 00:19:15,288
You're just adorable.

341
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:16,817
Well, I try.

342
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,310
Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?

343
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:25,180
Oh, nothing.

344
00:19:25,735 --> 00:19:27,798
No, nothing.
Come here. Come here.

345
00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:38,218
Get that sweet, little hairless
ass of yours downstairs!

346
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,837
- We've got some celebrating to do!
- Hey, I thought you had a dinner.

347
00:19:42,977 --> 00:19:45,193
I did. I bailed at the last second.

348
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:47,701
I wanted to see you.

349
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:49,223
Why?

350
00:19:50,027 --> 00:19:52,019
I need an excuse to see my wife
all of a sudden?

351
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,271
No, it's just --
What is there to celebrate?

352
00:19:55,587 --> 00:19:57,428
Hank wrote something.

353
00:19:58,821 --> 00:20:01,158
Well, kudos to Hank. He's a writer.

354
00:20:01,538 --> 00:20:02,847
This is a big deal, sweetie.

355
00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:05,372
This is like the return of old Hank.

356
00:20:05,528 --> 00:20:07,868
Or I don't know.
Maybe it's the new Hank.

357
00:20:08,531 --> 00:20:11,654
But the guy,
he came into my office today

358
00:20:11,848 --> 00:20:15,484
with a giant engagement ring
he bought for Karen.

359
00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:17,628
What? What are you talking about?

360
00:20:17,888 --> 00:20:20,197
The only thing I could think
when I saw it was, "hope".

361
00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:21,441
Baby, hope.

362
00:20:22,147 --> 00:20:26,180
Things have been just really fucked-up around 
here, right? I mean, you know it, too, right?

363
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:28,388
Ever since, well, the nipple incident.

364
00:20:29,223 --> 00:20:30,863
Or, actually, before then.

365
00:20:31,109 --> 00:20:33,349
But the thing I realize now is

366
00:20:33,581 --> 00:20:36,456
that I was
just really depressed, you know.

367
00:20:36,654 --> 00:20:38,846
and if Hank can get his shit 
together, so can I.

368
00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:42,195
- and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
- Good for you, Charlie.

369
00:20:43,524 --> 00:20:45,916
And I want you to know, baby,
that I'm sorry.

370
00:20:47,611 --> 00:20:48,664
For what?

371
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:51,590
For letting us get
to a place in our lives

372
00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:55,165
where we actually thought we needed 
a threesome to get ourselves back on track.

373
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,249
You don't have to apologize for that.

374
00:20:57,391 --> 00:20:59,536
Yes, I do, because it is not right.

375
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,305
I want you to know...

376
00:21:01,746 --> 00:21:03,482
That you are all I need, baby.

377
00:21:04,766 --> 00:21:06,299
You're right, Charlie.

378
00:21:06,545 --> 00:21:08,950
Things have changed since nipple-gate.

379
00:21:09,507 --> 00:21:12,266
Yes, and I want to go right back
where we were before.

380
00:21:13,698 --> 00:21:15,994
Yeah, I don't think that's possible.

381
00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:17,392
Good. Me, too.

382
00:21:18,212 --> 00:21:20,357
Or -- wait. What?
You -- what? You don't?

383
00:21:20,835 --> 00:21:23,879
No...
the thing with your teat

384
00:21:24,134 --> 00:21:25,925
made things very clear to me.

385
00:21:26,206 --> 00:21:28,448
The morning after
our ill-fated threesome,

386
00:21:28,714 --> 00:21:29,715
I woke up,

387
00:21:29,883 --> 00:21:32,870
and the only thing
I wanted to do was call Dani.

388
00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:35,714
Now, I don't know if that
makes me a fucking rug-muncher

389
00:21:35,715 --> 00:21:36,715
or whatever, but...

390
00:21:37,628 --> 00:21:39,719
that sweet, little Goth nutjob

391
00:21:39,911 --> 00:21:42,942
makes this girl want to
put her finger in the dike.

392
00:21:44,426 --> 00:21:45,615
What are you saying?

393
00:21:50,105 --> 00:21:51,763
What the fuck?

394
00:21:52,495 --> 00:21:54,709
<i>Oh, we were watching Bound just now.</i>

395
00:21:54,921 --> 00:21:56,810
You're right. That shit is hot.

396
00:21:57,070 --> 00:21:58,979
You do have quite a movie collection.

397
00:21:59,243 --> 00:22:00,350
And quite a wife.

398
00:22:03,913 --> 00:22:05,239
You're fired, missy.

399
00:22:05,481 --> 00:22:06,793
Too late, boss.

400
00:22:07,011 --> 00:22:09,291
I think it's time I moved on
to a new desk.

401
00:22:10,775 --> 00:22:13,827
- Maybe I'll even be an agent someday.
- I know about everything.

402
00:22:14,087 --> 00:22:17,122
I know about the "s" and "m"
and the light "b" and "d".

403
00:22:17,539 --> 00:22:19,917
And I'm not mad. I'm just kind of sad.

404
00:22:20,346 --> 00:22:23,278
And sexually awakened.
I think we should go out there

405
00:22:23,418 --> 00:22:25,505
and fuck all the people we never fucked.

406
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,562
Let's just rock out with our cocks out!

407
00:22:28,921 --> 00:22:31,841
Carpe motherfucking diem, baby!

408
00:22:35,183 --> 00:22:36,953
What if I don't want to...

409
00:22:37,903 --> 00:22:39,679
rock out with my cock out?

410
00:22:50,598 --> 00:22:51,800
What is that?

411
00:22:52,541 --> 00:22:54,618
What about the guitar Bill got you?

412
00:22:54,934 --> 00:22:56,423
This one's special.

413
00:22:57,203 --> 00:22:58,992
Timeless. Classic.

414
00:22:59,953 --> 00:23:02,946
It looks like Keith Richards
threw up on it back in the '70s.

415
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,514
"Back in the '70s."

416
00:23:04,804 --> 00:23:06,046
Thanks, dad.

417
00:23:06,306 --> 00:23:08,172
You're welcome. Now go practice.

418
00:23:08,312 --> 00:23:11,139
Extra loud so you
annoy the neighbors and Bill.

419
00:23:11,331 --> 00:23:13,136
I've got to talk to your mom.

420
00:23:20,306 --> 00:23:22,189
A chill just ran up my sack.

421
00:23:22,558 --> 00:23:25,370
Hold on a second.
I've got to prepare myself.

422
00:23:26,088 --> 00:23:27,126
Yeah, me too.

423
00:23:30,419 --> 00:23:32,374
Okay, just like old times.

424
00:23:32,666 --> 00:23:35,083
Give it to me straight. I want it all.

425
00:23:35,329 --> 00:23:36,343
Here we go.

426
00:23:38,435 --> 00:23:39,514
Lay it on me.

427
00:23:39,745 --> 00:23:40,907
Brutal truth.

428
00:23:42,594 --> 00:23:43,600
I can't.

429
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:45,612
You love ripping me to shreds.

430
00:23:45,819 --> 00:23:48,626
It's not as much fun
when I give you permission?

431
00:23:50,002 --> 00:23:51,336
Look at me.

432
00:23:55,474 --> 00:23:57,018
You didn't read it.

433
00:23:58,519 --> 00:23:59,808
You didn't fucking read it.

434
00:24:00,335 --> 00:24:01,893
I can't read it, Hank.

435
00:24:06,798 --> 00:24:07,798
Why not?

436
00:24:08,379 --> 00:24:11,298
Because... I can't go back.

437
00:24:12,569 --> 00:24:14,797
That part of my life is over now.

438
00:24:17,336 --> 00:24:21,363
There are a number of things going
through my mind to say to you right now,

439
00:24:21,589 --> 00:24:23,634
but only one is coming to the forefront.

440
00:24:23,785 --> 00:24:25,001
And that is...

441
00:24:26,689 --> 00:24:29,421
- Fuck, we had the sex, Karen.
- Shut the fuck up!

442
00:24:29,681 --> 00:24:31,985
Shutting me up is not
gonna make it any less true.

443
00:24:32,239 --> 00:24:34,871
You know what?
That was a onetime thing, okay?

444
00:24:35,147 --> 00:24:37,443
It's done. I mean, I don't regret it.

445
00:24:37,873 --> 00:24:40,348
Why would you?
You came, like, three times?

446
00:24:41,173 --> 00:24:42,954
Hank, now I regret it, okay?

447
00:24:43,241 --> 00:24:44,745
Now I do regret it.

448
00:24:53,855 --> 00:24:56,206
Hank, the fact that you wrote this
is fucking incredible

449
00:24:56,357 --> 00:24:57,895
I'm so proud of you.

450
00:24:58,228 --> 00:25:02,286
And I'm so glad that you have finally
opened a new chapter in your life.

451
00:25:02,429 --> 00:25:06,354
And it's here, and it's great.
You have to do it on your own, okay?

452
00:25:11,522 --> 00:25:13,107
What if I don't want to?

453
00:25:16,914 --> 00:25:20,358
What if I want to go back
and do it all over again?

454
00:25:22,104 --> 00:25:23,293
Only this time...

455
00:25:24,817 --> 00:25:26,959
Not make the same mistakes.
This time...

456
00:25:27,162 --> 00:25:28,063
do it better.

457
00:25:30,577 --> 00:25:32,224
This time, do it right.

458
00:25:33,776 --> 00:25:34,664
With...

459
00:25:35,303 --> 00:25:36,148
jewelry.

460
00:25:38,690 --> 00:25:41,075
I don't love you anymore.

461
00:25:42,519 --> 00:25:43,646
I love Bill.

462
00:25:44,668 --> 00:25:46,239
I'm gonna marry Bill.

463
00:25:46,576 --> 00:25:48,699
And I really need you
to respect that.

464
00:25:53,973 --> 00:25:55,558
I'm a fucking asshole.

465
00:26:05,643 --> 00:26:07,429
I'm a motherfucking asshole.

466
00:26:23,878 --> 00:26:26,621
Do you know how
to get to the 45 from here?

467
00:26:26,881 --> 00:26:27,926
On foot?

468
00:26:30,626 --> 00:26:32,416
You could walk over to Lincoln.

469
00:26:32,613 --> 00:26:36,361
Get the fuck out of the car,
motherfucker! Get out of the car!

470
00:26:38,316 --> 00:26:41,161
- Get out of the car!
- Get the fuck out now!

471
00:26:42,583 --> 00:26:44,542
Come on! Get in, let's go!

472
00:26:45,574 --> 00:26:46,585
Shut the fuck up!

473
00:27:09,700 --> 00:27:38,400
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