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Previously on Californication...
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- Jesus H. Christ
- Hi, daddy!
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This is Bill's daughter, Mia.
And this is Hank.
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- Y... you two know each other?
- No!
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I am 16, you know.
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- What's this?
- Hank's new book.
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- Are you really 16?
- I'm really 16.
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This is really good.
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It's is not a memoir
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It's a written account of my
sexual relationship with you
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Written by me
as a fucking novel!
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I know you set him up,
stole his book...
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And what are you gonna do about it, huh?
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I gotta ask.
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Since you always tend to write
exactly what you know,
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what's the fuckin' deal?
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You've done some fucked up shit
in your time, but...
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I didn't think you'd do that.
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You have to love him for who he is,
not his potential.
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- Drive the car!
- Karen!
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- You're saying we must move back to New York together?
- Well, soon. Yeah. OK?
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Look what the cat dragged in.
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What brings you to these fair parts?
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I'm doing a little signing-
reading in Venice.
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I want you guys to come!
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Paul Rider, Mia's manager.
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Quite the literary scandal we have here.
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- Why would you tell him?
- Because I'm in love with him.
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- Think about Karen and think about Becca.
- It doesn't have to be this way.
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- Stop!
- You're fucked, Moody.
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- I need to tell you something.
- Okay.
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www.addic7ed.com presents
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Californication s04e01 preair
'Exile On Main St.'
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Special thanks to www.subsfactory.it
and the Moodies Team.
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- Home, Skips.
- Hey, are you hungry?
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You must be starved! You know what?
Come on, come on. We'll go get something to eat.
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- Grand slam breakfast, my treat.
- I gotta get home.
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I gotta face the music
at some point.
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What?
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- What?
- What's that look?
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What look?
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That shifty, somewhat cunty
look of yours.
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I can't take you home, Palomino.
- And why is that, Charlie?
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I've been instructed not to.
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- By Karen?
- And Marcy.
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She told me she would kick my pale,
pockmarked ass if I brought you home by now
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And I believe that crazy little bitch too.
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Get this.
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We're splittin' the sheets.
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She signed the papers.
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She totally broke my heart.
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I really thought
we were gonna work it out.
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- I guess not...
- Charlie!
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What am I gonna do now?
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- Charlie!
- Yeah?
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I just got out of jail.
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You're right, I'm sorry. You win.
You've got it way worse right now.
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Get in the car,
there's something you should see.
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How did it get out so fast?
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It's called the interweb, Hank.
It's been around for a while now.
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Remember how fast my
masturbation video spread?
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That was unnerving.
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That was funny
'cause it was you
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- Yeah
- Not me
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Some story, huh?
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Yeah. To tell you the truth,
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I never thought
he was much of a writer.
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But now the guy
is my fuckin' hero!
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I mean, he hit that shit, right?
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What I wouldn't give
for a taste of that sweet peach.
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- All right, peace.
- Yeah, okay...
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There you go!
Another satisfied customer.
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I'm gonna ask you a question, Runkle,
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and how you answer will determine
whether or not I put this cigarette
up your asshole.
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Will you take me the fuck home?
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Home it is, my good man.
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You're a useless fuck,
you know that?
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The man threatened
physical violence, Marcy.
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- So did I, you stupid mutt.
- You can't hurt me anymore, you know.
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You already torn my fuckin' heart out.
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Go away, Hank.
I'm not gonna let you in.
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I get it, Marce. You're *** ***
the gatekeeper, but this is my home.
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- It's my family.
- Is it true?
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The man was framed.
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Yes it's true, but it's
also hugely complicated.
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I believe you.
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I do. But still,
it's preatty fucking grotty.
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You'll get no argument from me.
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Now, what's the move?
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Are you gonna step aside or am I gonna have
to pick you up and move you aside like
the gorgeous little garden gnome that you are?
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Get the fuck out of here, Hank,
before Becca comes home. Okay?
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I would like to see her.
How is she?
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Oh, she's great. She's fantastic.
I can't keep her off the computer, though,
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'cause she doesn't believe a word of it.
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She thinks you were set up.
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Do you wanna take that away from her?
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Do you wanna have to look her in the eye
and tell her that you put your DICK
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in a girl that's the same age
that she is right now?
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'Cause if you do,
stick around.
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- Fuck you!
- Wha--
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Well, call me Mr. Brightside, but I think
we're making some serious progress here.
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She wanted you to have a change of clothes,
that was very thoughtful of her.
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So, the arraignment is tomorrow morning.
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In the meantime, I'll do what I can
to play down the assault and battery.
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Do you have any questions?
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Yes.
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- Do you mind if I smoke?
- Sure do.
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Hank.
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Hank.
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- Hank!
- Is there something I should know here?
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- Such as?
- Is he retarded?
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He's actually quite a good guy
once you get to know him.
He's very pleasant.
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- Very agreeable.
- Good to know.
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Because on paper he looks
like a total piece of shit.
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Abby here is the best there is
at defending the unjustly accused.
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Hey, hey, remember that poor guy who
kept shoving his penis to the Laker girls?
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She totally got him off.
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Impressive.
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So what was it you wanted to do, Abby?
You know, before.
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Ok, I'll play.
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Before what?
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Before you sold out
and went to law school.
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Up top
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- Cute.
- Can't help, but the guy's cute.
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He's also a three-time loser.
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Now you're just name-calling.
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It says that you were
arrested for assaulting a...
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a filmmaker named Todd Carl.
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A shitty filmmaker named Todd Carl.
Does it say shitty there? Cause it should!
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The charges were dropped
at Mr. Carl's request,
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shortly thereafter an
altercation with an LAPD officer.
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Got off *** probation
How'd you manage that one?
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Really?
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He just had a vasectomy.
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Point being?
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The cop nightsticked him
in the balls.
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- Big misunderstanding.
- Oh, yeah? tell that to my balls!
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I still got a touch of the epididimitis.
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Whenever it flares up,
I gotta soak my pouch
in 4 inches of tepid bath water.
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Talk about a party.
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You know what?
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This is a big fucking waste of my time
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Good luck to you, Mr. Moody.
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- Apologise, you idiot.
- Ok, look...
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I'm sorry...
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...that I talked about my balls.
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My big, beautiful balls.
That was inappropriate.
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No, no, I get it, I get it how serious this all is,
you know, and I don't wanna waste your time.
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- Really?
- Yes.
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I trust you to do whatever
voodoo it is that you do...
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...do for me.
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So I'm gonna--
I put myself in your hands.
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I'm putty for you.
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I'll tumble for ya.
I'll do wwhatever it takes.
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Start with a shower.
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You smell like you just walked out
of a fisting contest.
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I'll see you tomorrow morning.
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Don't be late.
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She's good!
She totally nailed it.
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The prodigal son returns.
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- Doesn't it make you wanna pleasure
yourself just a little bit?
- I won't lie,
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- It is slight tumescent.
- What are we doing here?
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All will be revealed in good time, my friend.
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Meanwhile, I got to drain the hog.
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Oh, come on, we all know that thing is
thin, bent and uncircumsized.
Don't bullshit me.
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Jesus Christ, how many times
I gotta tell you, I'm not uncircumsized.
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The mohel just left a little too much foreskin.
That's all. A smidge, just a smidge.
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Ha ha. So it's, like, circled halfway?
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Hey.
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00:10:04,477 --> 00:10:06,395
Here. You happy?
171
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:07,754
Very much so, thanks.
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00:10:13,684 --> 00:10:14,879
I'm not going to sleep with you.
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All right.
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- You're not really my type, anyway.
- Oh, really?
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Yeah, I like 'em older. And hadicapped.
Excuse me, handicapable.
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Well, now I'm definitely for sure
not sleeping with you.
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- Hank.
- Mia.
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Ok. You win, lady,
you're officially creeping me out.
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- What-- what-- what...
- Sorry, professional hazard.
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00:10:41,013 --> 00:10:42,987
- What do you do?
- Hello hello!
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00:10:43,047 --> 00:10:44,591
I see you two have already met.
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No, he introduced herself to me
as Mia and totally bummed me out.
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00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:50,638
Charlie Runkle, I'm so pleased
to meet you. Huge fan.
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My guy Friday.
Smooth, real smooth.
185
00:10:53,171 --> 00:10:55,396
Hank Moody, Sasha Bingham.
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00:10:55,402 --> 00:10:57,402
Sasha Bingham, all right.
What is that you do, Sasha?
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00:10:58,182 --> 00:11:02,087
He's a kidder, this one.
He's a kidder. He's kidding.
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00:11:02,322 --> 00:11:04,078
Guys, ladies.
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00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:06,907
She's a fucking movie star, you nudnik.
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00:11:06,913 --> 00:11:09,118
- How am I supposed to know that?
- Open your eyes!
191
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,686
- I've been in jail, Charlie.
- Look!
192
00:11:10,747 --> 00:11:13,033
- I've been in jail.
- You've been in jail for 72 hours, Hank.
193
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,867
- A lot can happen in a weekend.
- Just come with me.
194
00:11:16,165 --> 00:11:17,570
Come with me.
195
00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:23,184
Look, when I was in Junior high
I saw Fast Times.
196
00:11:23,228 --> 00:11:26,234
Fast Times, great fucking movie.
197
00:11:26,734 --> 00:11:30,212
- Christ, Runkle, settle down.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
198
00:11:30,826 --> 00:11:33,904
- Continue, please.
- Thank you, Roger Ebert.
199
00:11:34,114 --> 00:11:38,259
So, anyway, Phoebe Cates took off her top
and it changed my life.
200
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:41,924
Which is why
I wanna take Fucking and Punching
201
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:45,711
and give my inner 12-year-old
the movie he fucking deserves.
202
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:48,857
I'm not gonna lie to you,
Im a big fan of gratuitous nudity.
203
00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:52,735
Forget it. Sasha Bingham is
America's sweetheart, the girl next door.
204
00:11:52,828 --> 00:11:55,578
- She's not doing any gratuitous nudity.
- Nudity?
205
00:11:55,862 --> 00:11:57,501
I don't give a fuck about the nudity.
206
00:11:57,802 --> 00:12:00,271
- I have great tits.
- Great tits!
207
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,988
And if I'm ever gonna show them
on screen, now's the time.
208
00:12:03,037 --> 00:12:04,801
Now is the time!
209
00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:08,936
You know, a lot of actresses say that,
and then you get to the---
210
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,006
Holy shit.
211
00:12:12,007 --> 00:12:13,383
- There.
- Sweet Lord.
212
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,932
- You happy?
- I'm having heart palpitations.
213
00:12:16,008 --> 00:12:18,253
You know, Runks?
I'm glad I came.
214
00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:19,941
I'm glad you came too.
215
00:12:19,942 --> 00:12:21,502
What I care about is the script,
216
00:12:21,537 --> 00:12:23,390
because right now it's a fucking mess.
217
00:12:23,582 --> 00:12:26,197
- Agreed. it needs some work.
- A lot of work.
218
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:28,190
I mean the only reason why
I'm even considering this
219
00:12:28,203 --> 00:12:30,136
is because of how much I love the book.
220
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:33,395
Cheers! Not only this lady
has bodacious tatas,
221
00:12:33,432 --> 00:12:36,069
She also has splendiferous
taste in literature.
222
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,492
That she does.
223
00:12:37,892 --> 00:12:41,078
And considering that you actually
wrote the book that I love,
224
00:12:41,478 --> 00:12:44,174
how about you rewrite
the script that I loathe?
225
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,187
Ouch! No, no, no.
My adventures in the screen trade
226
00:12:47,203 --> 00:12:49,699
have been about as much fun
as forced anal.
227
00:12:49,892 --> 00:12:51,992
Not that forced anal can't be fun.
228
00:12:52,432 --> 00:12:55,509
- You're a fantastic writer, Hank.
- You know what? I like where this is going.
229
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:58,519
I'm not immune to kind words,
especially when they are so true.
230
00:12:58,565 --> 00:12:59,921
Please, continue.
231
00:13:00,139 --> 00:13:01,754
For what is worth,
232
00:13:02,053 --> 00:13:05,305
Hank, I wanted you to adapt the book
233
00:13:05,322 --> 00:13:06,746
back when I first optioned it,
234
00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:10,078
- And I was disappointed when you passed.
- I passed?
235
00:13:10,099 --> 00:13:11,375
- Yeah.
- I did?
236
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:13,734
No, I don't remember getting that offer.
237
00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,500
I passed, on your behalf.
238
00:13:15,743 --> 00:13:19,371
- Thought it'd be too weird for you.
- And you wonder why my career
239
00:13:19,401 --> 00:13:22,389
- is in such disrepair.
- I never wonder about that.
240
00:13:22,789 --> 00:13:27,866
Call me a scumbag, but there is
a real moment right here.
241
00:13:28,297 --> 00:13:30,051
With Sascha's interest
242
00:13:30,168 --> 00:13:32,570
and with Hank's face
all over the news right now,
243
00:13:32,606 --> 00:13:34,924
we could be at Sundance
this time next year.
244
00:13:36,726 --> 00:13:38,250
- Woo-hoo!
- Let me handle this.
245
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:40,880
Well you then handle it, motherfucker.
246
00:13:40,892 --> 00:13:43,318
- In process. I'm in process.
- Ok.
247
00:13:43,403 --> 00:13:46,503
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologise,
I've already said too much.
248
00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:50,308
I just got out of jail
and I haven't slept, eaten or-
249
00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:53,536
pardon me, my lady,
taken a decent crap in days.
250
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:58,568
Huh... except this coffee does...
does seem to be working.
251
00:13:58,763 --> 00:14:02,086
Yes, indeed.
It is time to release the Kraken!
252
00:14:02,643 --> 00:14:05,911
All right. I wanna thank each and everyone of you.
Especially you, Sasha Bingham.
253
00:14:06,138 --> 00:14:09,353
You say you have great tits
and I most certainly concur, but
254
00:14:09,753 --> 00:14:12,280
that ass of yours is no slouch either.
255
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:20,247
I want this movie.
256
00:14:20,248 --> 00:14:23,247
Oh, we want you to want this movie.
257
00:14:25,694 --> 00:14:26,873
What was the question?
258
00:14:27,047 --> 00:14:29,465
I'm sorry, I'm incredibly high right now.
259
00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:33,249
Look, I have a window and
I want this to be my next thing,
260
00:14:33,316 --> 00:14:34,528
but the script has to be right.
261
00:14:34,551 --> 00:14:37,319
and the man dropping the deuces here
has the best shot of getting it there.
262
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:40,603
So, if not, there is always CAA.
263
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,397
I'm in town for a few days,
I'll let you guys know where to find me.
264
00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:58,568
"When the student is ready,
the master appears."
265
00:14:58,569 --> 00:15:00,679
Is that a quote?
I don't know what that means.
266
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:07,307
Well, it would appear that I
have something that you want.
267
00:15:07,788 --> 00:15:10,302
I'm sorry. Something that you need.
268
00:15:10,303 --> 00:15:12,956
Ok. I'll play this game.
What is it you want, Runkle?
269
00:15:12,957 --> 00:15:15,300
How can we help you help your client?
270
00:15:15,965 --> 00:15:20,065
See? that's what I love.
What I miss. Being part of a team.
271
00:15:20,435 --> 00:15:24,622
Helping wildly talented people
achieve their wildest dreams.
272
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:28,058
Having an expense account,
a car allowance...
273
00:15:28,059 --> 00:15:32,025
a young nubile assistant
to fetch me my caramel macchiato.
274
00:15:32,026 --> 00:15:32,985
Done.
275
00:15:32,986 --> 00:15:35,063
You convince your client to take this job,
276
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,140
make sure he doesn't shit the bed,
277
00:15:37,609 --> 00:15:40,317
and you can have your
old job back. Happy?
278
00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:43,474
Oh, just one little thing.
279
00:15:43,595 --> 00:15:45,274
Try keeping your fucking dick
in your pants this time.
280
00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:48,753
Or I will rip it off with my bare hands.
I promise.
281
00:16:01,547 --> 00:16:02,854
This one's on me.
282
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:05,222
Oh, thank you.
283
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:07,250
Drinks on the house.
284
00:16:16,135 --> 00:16:18,304
How do you do it?
285
00:16:18,925 --> 00:16:21,163
It's an old Jedi mind trick.
286
00:16:22,675 --> 00:16:25,696
I can't believe I never
asked you this before, but...
287
00:16:25,697 --> 00:16:26,956
How many?
288
00:16:27,243 --> 00:16:28,676
How many. How many?
289
00:16:28,677 --> 00:16:30,848
How many broads have you balled?
290
00:16:31,451 --> 00:16:32,551
Broads?
291
00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:33,235
Balled?
292
00:16:33,236 --> 00:16:35,489
- Who are you right now?
- Ok, fine.
293
00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:37,681
How many women to whom
have you made the Love?
294
00:16:37,682 --> 00:16:39,796
You don't wanna know that kind of shit.
You don't want that information
295
00:16:39,797 --> 00:16:43,510
raveling around in your head, making you
feel effeminate, emasculated and shit.
296
00:16:43,511 --> 00:16:44,451
Sure I do.
297
00:16:44,452 --> 00:16:47,958
Trust me. Some things are better
left to your limited imagination.
298
00:16:47,959 --> 00:16:49,637
Wanna know how many women
I've slept with?
299
00:16:50,623 --> 00:16:52,078
No. No, no, no.
300
00:16:52,232 --> 00:16:53,575
- I'm sure you do.
- All this talk about sleeping with women...
301
00:16:53,576 --> 00:16:55,885
...is making me sleepy.
302
00:16:56,552 --> 00:16:58,888
One... eleven.
303
00:16:58,889 --> 00:16:59,712
- Eleven.
- Eleven!
304
00:16:59,713 --> 00:17:02,095
Well, it's double digits,
sounds good.
305
00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:05,072
Perfectly respectable number
for a cock of your caliber.
306
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:07,614
And it reminds me of spinal taps.
Cheers!
307
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,943
I gotta get it up to 100.
308
00:17:11,409 --> 00:17:13,933
Triple digits.
Then I can die happy.
309
00:17:15,424 --> 00:17:20,019
Hmm. You may have to criogenically
freeze your cock and attach it to
Brad Pitt to get there, buddy boy.
310
00:17:21,092 --> 00:17:22,826
You don't think I can do it?
311
00:17:23,054 --> 00:17:26,015
No I don't.
And I don't think it matters.
312
00:17:26,384 --> 00:17:29,283
Eleven women.
Who's your favourite?
313
00:17:30,556 --> 00:17:31,348
Marcy.
314
00:17:31,349 --> 00:17:34,678
You see that? You had the
magic puss and you lost it.
315
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:38,106
You think that boning 89 more broads
is gonna make you feel any better about that?
316
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,719
It would certainly be a start.
317
00:17:45,174 --> 00:17:49,182
Do you think... do you think
that lady lawyer was...
318
00:17:49,183 --> 00:17:52,333
- Do you think she was right?
- About what?
319
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:53,881
She called me 'piece of shit'.
320
00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:56,859
On paper. She said you're
a piece of shit on paper.
321
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:57,622
Still.
322
00:17:57,623 --> 00:18:00,702
You're not a piece of shit, Hank.
Paper or otherwise.
323
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,417
You may be my worst client, but...
324
00:18:04,297 --> 00:18:08,544
you've always been my best friend
and me love you very long time.
325
00:18:10,938 --> 00:18:12,990
I refuse to be number twelve, Charlie.
326
00:18:13,061 --> 00:18:15,090
Oh, I wasn't counting the guys.
327
00:18:16,819 --> 00:18:18,306
Hey, can I crash with you guys tonight?
328
00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:20,193
You think Marcy would mind
if I take the master?
329
00:18:20,194 --> 00:18:22,670
- Can't do it, Hank.
- Ok, I'll flip ya for it.
330
00:18:25,023 --> 00:18:26,657
No... What?
331
00:18:26,734 --> 00:18:28,770
The cunty look. Stop!
332
00:18:28,947 --> 00:18:32,316
- Put your face back.
- You got another meeting.
333
00:18:32,317 --> 00:18:33,448
No
334
00:18:34,705 --> 00:18:36,487
You'll be meetin' and greetin'.
335
00:18:42,403 --> 00:18:44,221
Fuck you, Charlie.
I'm not doing this.
336
00:18:46,383 --> 00:18:48,565
- I told her you would.
- Well, that's your problem.
337
00:18:48,566 --> 00:18:49,647
I just want to go the fuck home.
338
00:18:49,648 --> 00:18:52,154
You don't got one.
You're homeless, get used to it.
339
00:18:52,155 --> 00:18:53,282
Then I wanna go to your place.
340
00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:55,768
My place? My place is in fucking escrow!
341
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:58,447
I'm living on borrowed time,
in a house that don't even belongs to me.
342
00:18:58,448 --> 00:19:00,992
with a woman that don't want
to have anything to do with me!
343
00:19:00,993 --> 00:19:03,154
You're not the only
exiled on Main Street, Hank.
344
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,889
Whatever, I 'll settle for a
decent night's sleep at this point.
345
00:19:05,890 --> 00:19:08,570
Or maybe your newest bestest
friend will let you crash.
346
00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:11,564
Bullshit. I have, like, zero interest
in chasing her right now.
347
00:19:11,737 --> 00:19:16,762
That's fine. Totally understandable.
But you should have interest in chasing this job.
348
00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:19,696
You always talk a big game
about doing the good work
349
00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:22,081
and fighting the good fights,
well, here's your chance!
350
00:19:22,082 --> 00:19:26,355
Stop feeling so fuckin' sorry for
yourself and get in there and...
351
00:19:26,356 --> 00:19:30,602
Hey, are we sure this is just about
rewrting my history, not yours?
352
00:19:30,991 --> 00:19:32,600
So what if it is?
353
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:36,050
You think I wouldn't jump at the chance
to get back some version of what I lost?
354
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,751
You don't think I deserve that?
355
00:19:44,586 --> 00:19:45,616
Fine.
356
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,597
I'll give it a shot.
357
00:19:48,775 --> 00:19:50,498
- I knew you would.
- Asshole.
358
00:19:50,499 --> 00:19:54,312
Attaboy, douchebag.
I'm proud of ya.
359
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,046
Hi
360
00:20:07,479 --> 00:20:08,687
Come on in
361
00:20:17,308 --> 00:20:21,037
When you said you had some notes,
you really had some fucking notes.
362
00:20:21,575 --> 00:20:22,954
Did I make sense?
363
00:20:23,278 --> 00:20:26,598
They will, eventually, when
I get around to reading the script.
364
00:20:27,296 --> 00:20:33,212
I think we're pretty much on the
same page. Or pages... pages and pages...
365
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,989
You look tired.
366
00:20:37,299 --> 00:20:39,973
Yeah. It's been a long life.
367
00:20:41,105 --> 00:20:42,204
Go home.
368
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,297
I would if I could,
but I ain't got none.
369
00:20:45,550 --> 00:20:46,330
I'm homeless.
370
00:20:48,534 --> 00:20:51,097
You're pretty handsome
for a homeless fellow
371
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,873
I don't know about that.
372
00:20:53,422 --> 00:20:54,937
But I do have great tits!
373
00:20:56,357 --> 00:21:00,640
Well, you can crash here if you want.
As you can see there's plenty of room.
Too much, actually.
374
00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:04,172
That is... That's pretty tempting.
375
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,662
As it should be.
376
00:21:09,676 --> 00:21:12,183
You have a beautiful bed
377
00:21:17,284 --> 00:21:20,210
Don't worry, I'll be
the perfect gentleman.
378
00:21:23,660 --> 00:21:25,102
I've been here before.
379
00:21:27,003 --> 00:21:27,942
Come on.
380
00:21:27,943 --> 00:21:30,889
So, one more question
about the characters.
381
00:21:30,949 --> 00:21:32,028
Shoot.
382
00:21:32,614 --> 00:21:34,210
What does Mia want?
383
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:37,268
Mia wants what all girls want.
384
00:21:37,269 --> 00:21:39,086
a guy just gay enought to curl up
and watch Project Runway.
385
00:21:42,486 --> 00:21:44,364
And what does Hank want?
386
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:46,072
Hank...
387
00:21:47,065 --> 00:21:50,761
wants to close his eyes
and wake up in his own bed
388
00:21:51,032 --> 00:21:52,852
next to the love of his life
389
00:21:53,524 --> 00:21:58,046
listening to the sweet *** sound
of her daughter's heavy metal guitar
390
00:21:58,047 --> 00:22:01,022
coming from the bedroom next.
391
00:22:03,873 --> 00:22:05,895
You really love them,
don't you?
392
00:22:06,563 --> 00:22:10,606
So much that the words themeselves
sound unspeakably lame.
393
00:22:11,938 --> 00:22:13,565
God, that's hot.
394
00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:28,911
Liar.
395
00:22:29,013 --> 00:22:31,161
Another hazard of the profession.
396
00:22:31,527 --> 00:22:33,624
Besides, you know what they say.
397
00:22:33,625 --> 00:22:35,707
No, I don't know what they say.
398
00:22:35,717 --> 00:22:38,021
- If you can't be with the ones you love...
- Stop, stop.
399
00:22:38,022 --> 00:22:40,324
Again, the unspeakably lame.
400
00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:41,574
I know.
401
00:22:42,838 --> 00:22:44,482
That's why I need a writer.
402
00:23:18,861 --> 00:23:20,004
What was it like?
403
00:23:20,112 --> 00:23:21,537
Was what like?
404
00:23:22,004 --> 00:23:23,287
The punch.
405
00:23:27,070 --> 00:23:29,884
Well, there's only one way to find out.
406
00:23:31,112 --> 00:23:32,457
Why not give it a shot?
407
00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:34,078
Really?
408
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,224
Yeah.
409
00:23:35,225 --> 00:23:36,242
Come on.
410
00:23:42,665 --> 00:23:45,026
You're like a girl,
Jesus Christ.
411
00:23:45,373 --> 00:23:47,652
That was a punch, darling,
not a slap.
412
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,087
All right.
413
00:23:54,664 --> 00:23:55,811
Harder.
414
00:23:56,124 --> 00:23:57,127
Harder?
415
00:23:57,128 --> 00:23:58,517
- Harder.
- All right.
416
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:07,549
Harder.
417
00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:33,749
Hank Moody and Mia Lewis had The Sex!
418
00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:24,949
Pilates.
Thanks for the F&P.
419
00:26:40,842 --> 00:26:42,286
Jesus!
420
00:26:42,287 --> 00:26:44,223
Holster that thing, would ya?
421
00:26:48,235 --> 00:26:50,923
Nice cock, by the way.
Very manly.
422
00:26:51,271 --> 00:26:52,446
This whole thing?
423
00:26:53,804 --> 00:26:55,380
What are you still doing here, Runks?
424
00:26:55,381 --> 00:26:56,958
Number twelve.
425
00:26:56,959 --> 00:26:59,178
The waitress last night at the bar.
426
00:26:59,179 --> 00:27:02,294
- Totally out of my league.
- Totally.
427
00:27:02,594 --> 00:27:05,981
- Oh the Runks! Number 12!
- Thank you.
428
00:27:05,982 --> 00:27:08,958
No time to celebrate, though.
You're late for your arraignment.
429
00:27:09,785 --> 00:27:11,376
Fuck me.
430
00:27:14,607 --> 00:27:16,375
- Thank you, Skeeves.
- Go get 'em.
431
00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:23,079
My lady lawyer!
Look who's here.
432
00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:24,907
Jesus.
433
00:27:25,612 --> 00:27:26,218
What?
434
00:27:26,819 --> 00:27:29,685
- What's up with your face?
- That's kind of a life imitating art, imitating art...
435
00:27:29,686 --> 00:27:30,892
Fair enough, I don't wanna know.
436
00:27:30,893 --> 00:27:33,129
Good call, best not to know.
Should we do this?
437
00:27:33,130 --> 00:27:35,303
No need, they're dropping
the assault charges.
438
00:27:36,892 --> 00:27:38,083
Thanks.
439
00:27:38,848 --> 00:27:41,041
- Thank you, thank you..
- That's the good news.
440
00:27:41,950 --> 00:27:43,017
Yeah?
441
00:27:43,356 --> 00:27:44,564
Hank Moody?
442
00:27:44,660 --> 00:27:46,378
- Guilty!
- Don't say that.
443
00:27:46,703 --> 00:27:48,401
We have a warrant for your arrest.
444
00:27:48,495 --> 00:27:50,078
Jesus... fuck. What now?
445
00:27:50,079 --> 00:27:54,242
Well, like I said, the DA's office moved to drop
the assault charges. That's the good news.
446
00:27:54,243 --> 00:27:55,752
What's the bad news?
447
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,028
You're being charged with
statutory rape.
448
00:27:59,588 --> 00:28:00,761
This way.
449
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,294
Wha-- wha-- what happend?
450
00:28:04,295 --> 00:28:07,489
Well, your friend just became
hell of a lot more interesting.
451
00:28:07,990 --> 00:28:09,290
Wha--
452
00:28:09,791 --> 00:28:19,490
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