1
00:00:00,652 --> 00:00:02,019
Congratulations.
2
00:00:02,087 --> 00:00:04,007
You've been selected for
an elite operations unit.
3
00:00:04,123 --> 00:00:07,325
With your permission,
we'd like to conduct a test
4
00:00:07,392 --> 00:00:09,493
to determine your suitability
for service.
5
00:00:09,561 --> 00:00:12,196
Sure. You mind me asking
what you're testing me for?
6
00:00:12,264 --> 00:00:13,731
Just relax.
7
00:00:13,799 --> 00:00:16,634
We have a short training video
that will explain everything.
8
00:00:19,938 --> 00:00:21,339
Wait.
9
00:00:30,449 --> 00:00:32,383
Are you okay, Chuck?
10
00:00:32,451 --> 00:00:33,384
Huh?
11
00:00:33,452 --> 00:00:35,820
Oh, um... no, no.
12
00:00:35,888 --> 00:00:38,756
Not since Emmett started playing
romantic comedies 24/7.
13
00:00:38,824 --> 00:00:40,458
He must love
Must Love Dogs,
14
00:00:40,525 --> 00:00:41,659
'cause that's
always playing.
15
00:00:41,727 --> 00:00:42,927
Right.
16
00:00:42,995 --> 00:00:44,629
Well, I was just
wondering about tonight.
17
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,130
Oh, is there a mission tonight?
18
00:00:46,198 --> 00:00:48,366
Actually, I
was referring
19
00:00:48,433 --> 00:00:50,067
to the whole
Valentine's Day thing.
20
00:00:50,135 --> 00:00:51,736
Oh, my gosh, right.
21
00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:53,504
I'm so sorry--
did you want to do something?
22
00:00:53,572 --> 00:00:55,239
No, no, I was just curious.
23
00:00:55,307 --> 00:00:56,974
Unless you wanted
to do something?
24
00:00:57,042 --> 00:01:00,278
Doesn't it seem like we ought
to do something?
25
00:01:00,345 --> 00:01:01,846
I mean, it's up to you.
- Yeah, sure.
26
00:01:01,914 --> 00:01:03,314
Okay, I mean, we have
been cover dating
27
00:01:03,382 --> 00:01:04,982
for over a year now, right?
28
00:01:05,050 --> 00:01:07,051
Yeah, I mean, it would be weird
if we didn't do something.
29
00:01:07,119 --> 00:01:08,085
Completely weird.
30
00:01:11,924 --> 00:01:14,558
Maybe we could give our covers
the night off.
31
00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,193
I have a bunch of paperwork
to catch up on anyway.
32
00:01:16,261 --> 00:01:17,595
Good.
Great.
33
00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:19,297
Hey, hey, hey,
happy Valentine's Day, you two.
34
00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:20,765
Any hot plans for today?
35
00:01:22,901 --> 00:01:24,936
Absolutely, there is.
36
00:01:27,272 --> 00:01:28,539
My house at 8:00, right?
37
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:30,908
I can hardly wait.
38
00:01:30,976 --> 00:01:32,143
I'll see you
then, sweetie.
39
00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:33,244
Oh, okay.
40
00:01:33,312 --> 00:01:35,012
Bye.
41
00:01:37,382 --> 00:01:39,216
Did you ever think
that the two of us
42
00:01:39,284 --> 00:01:40,651
would wind up with
smart, beautiful,
43
00:01:40,719 --> 00:01:42,520
sexually adventuresome
girls on Valentine's Day?
44
00:01:42,587 --> 00:01:43,888
The answer is no.
45
00:01:43,956 --> 00:01:45,256
Two jackasses
like you
46
00:01:45,324 --> 00:01:47,558
landing two hot pieces
like Anna and Blondie?
47
00:01:47,626 --> 00:01:49,393
It's a cruel
trick of nature.
48
00:01:49,461 --> 00:01:50,962
Grimes! Get your butt
to the sales floor
49
00:01:51,029 --> 00:01:52,463
before I kick it over there.
50
00:01:52,531 --> 00:01:53,764
Bartowski,
51
00:01:53,832 --> 00:01:55,232
herd up your nerds.
52
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,834
They're right...
they're right there.
53
00:01:58,036 --> 00:01:59,303
And you two dimwits,
54
00:01:59,371 --> 00:02:00,938
don't leave the cage
until that backlog
55
00:02:01,006 --> 00:02:02,606
of repairs are finished.
56
00:02:02,674 --> 00:02:03,774
And where is Milbarge?
57
00:02:03,842 --> 00:02:05,509
Hello.
58
00:02:05,577 --> 00:02:07,144
Hmm?
59
00:02:07,212 --> 00:02:09,113
I'm sorry I'm late-- I was just
waiting for these to cool.
60
00:02:09,181 --> 00:02:10,648
What the hell
is that?
61
00:02:10,716 --> 00:02:13,317
Oh, well, I put little lips
on the cupcakes for you.
62
00:02:13,385 --> 00:02:14,885
I'm talking about that thing
on your head.
63
00:02:14,953 --> 00:02:16,454
Oh.
64
00:02:16,521 --> 00:02:17,788
Well, Henrietta's in town.
65
00:02:17,856 --> 00:02:18,956
I wanted to look my best.
66
00:02:20,759 --> 00:02:23,027
I mean, it's not that much
of a difference.
67
00:02:23,095 --> 00:02:24,161
Really?
68
00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:26,897
I'll be in my office.
69
00:02:26,965 --> 00:02:30,134
Next time, do your baking
on your own time.
70
00:02:32,971 --> 00:02:35,272
My God, who crapped
in his box of chocolates?
71
00:02:39,011 --> 00:02:40,311
I don't care what it costs!
72
00:02:40,379 --> 00:02:41,912
Get it here tomorrow!
73
00:02:43,648 --> 00:02:44,982
What's he doing in there?
74
00:02:45,050 --> 00:02:48,586
I don't know,
but it's completely unnatural.
75
00:02:48,653 --> 00:02:49,820
Oh, my God.
76
00:02:49,888 --> 00:02:51,188
You don't think that he's...
77
00:02:51,256 --> 00:02:52,890
Working?
Calm down, Morgan.
78
00:02:52,958 --> 00:02:54,025
Yeah, there's
got to be
79
00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:55,393
a rational explanation
for this.
80
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,028
Oh, no, look at him.
81
00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:58,462
The guy's a machine.
82
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:00,131
I think Morgan's
on to something.
83
00:03:00,198 --> 00:03:01,966
What if it's not
really Big Mike?
84
00:03:02,034 --> 00:03:03,200
What?
85
00:03:03,268 --> 00:03:05,169
Like, a robot sent
from the future?
86
00:03:05,237 --> 00:03:06,737
A cybernetic organism.
87
00:03:06,805 --> 00:03:08,839
A skin job.
88
00:03:08,907 --> 00:03:10,708
There's only one
way to find out.
89
00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:13,377
If he bleeds, he's human.
90
00:03:13,445 --> 00:03:14,645
Guys.
91
00:03:14,713 --> 00:03:16,247
How about I just talk to him?
92
00:03:17,716 --> 00:03:19,016
Please.
93
00:03:19,084 --> 00:03:20,451
Okay, fine.
94
00:03:20,519 --> 00:03:21,685
It's your funeral,
Bartowski.
95
00:03:26,825 --> 00:03:28,125
Let me ask
a question, Bartowski.
96
00:03:28,193 --> 00:03:29,593
What kind of woman
97
00:03:29,661 --> 00:03:31,729
delivers divorce papers
on Valentine's Day?
98
00:03:32,931 --> 00:03:34,165
Your... your wife?
99
00:03:34,232 --> 00:03:35,733
The lady Big Mike is no more.
100
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,135
I'm-I'm so sorry
to hear that, sir.
101
00:03:38,203 --> 00:03:39,904
Damn straight.
102
00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:42,039
I had the catch of a lifetime
and let her get away.
103
00:03:43,241 --> 00:03:44,675
You want to talk about it?
104
00:03:44,743 --> 00:03:46,410
I'll be fine.
105
00:03:46,478 --> 00:03:48,412
Long as I keep working,
I won't have time
106
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,347
to realize I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life
107
00:03:50,415 --> 00:03:52,750
alone and unloved.
108
00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:56,053
There is one thing
you can do for me.
109
00:03:56,121 --> 00:03:57,621
Sure.
110
00:03:59,224 --> 00:04:01,358
Tell those imbeciles out there
to get cracking!
111
00:04:01,426 --> 00:04:03,060
'Cause from now on,
112
00:04:03,128 --> 00:04:05,129
it's a whole new Buy More!
113
00:04:05,197 --> 00:04:07,565
Get that damn Must Love Dogs
off the TV.
114
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,682
Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
115
00:04:24,749 --> 00:04:26,350
This is the worst
Valentine's Day ever, right?
116
00:04:26,418 --> 00:04:27,852
Come on, don't be silly.
117
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:29,420
Please, you're not going
to offend me.
118
00:04:29,488 --> 00:04:31,589
There's got
to be someone somewhere
119
00:04:31,656 --> 00:04:33,958
having a far worse
Valentine's Day.
120
00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:37,328
On the night of August 12, 1965,
121
00:04:37,395 --> 00:04:39,263
the 2nd Battalion,
3rd Marines
122
00:04:39,331 --> 00:04:40,931
endeavored to make
a daring helicopter assault
123
00:04:40,999 --> 00:04:42,633
on the Elephant Valley.
124
00:04:46,338 --> 00:04:47,738
I hope I'm not interrupting.
125
00:04:47,806 --> 00:04:49,073
What can I do for you, General?
126
00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:51,509
LAPD just picked up one of ours.
127
00:04:51,576 --> 00:04:53,577
The agent's name is Jim Yeager.
128
00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:55,079
He's been missing
for over a year,
129
00:04:55,147 --> 00:04:57,781
although he was presumed to be
on a covert domestic assignment.
130
00:04:57,849 --> 00:05:00,384
Unfortunately, we have no record
of this assignment,
131
00:05:00,452 --> 00:05:02,786
and so far,
the subject has been...
132
00:05:02,854 --> 00:05:04,054
uncooperative.
133
00:05:04,122 --> 00:05:05,256
Cat's got his tongue, huh?
134
00:05:05,323 --> 00:05:06,957
You want me
to take a crack at him?
135
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:11,562
As you can see, his mental state
is fragile enough already.
136
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:14,565
The subject's last confirmed
location comes from a phone call
137
00:05:14,633 --> 00:05:17,601
traced to this LA cul-de-sac.
138
00:05:17,669 --> 00:05:19,003
Yeager was living
in the Valley?
139
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:21,672
Huh... no wonder
he went nuts, right?
140
00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:23,507
We took the liberty
of purchasing a home there
141
00:05:23,575 --> 00:05:24,942
to serve as a base
of operations.
142
00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:26,977
Zoom in on that, please.
143
00:05:29,714 --> 00:05:31,315
What's that he keeps saying?
144
00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:32,883
Salamander.
145
00:05:32,951 --> 00:05:35,319
Possible code name
for his enemy contact.
146
00:05:35,387 --> 00:05:37,855
Our best guess:
he chose this location
147
00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:39,890
for its proximity
to a sleeper cell.
148
00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:42,593
I need for someone
to resume Yeager's assignment,
149
00:05:42,661 --> 00:05:44,094
identify his contact
150
00:05:44,162 --> 00:05:45,930
and infiltrate
their terrorist network.
151
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,299
I don't know how well I'd fit in
with those people, General.
152
00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:50,601
Not you, Major Casey.
153
00:05:50,669 --> 00:05:52,336
We need a normal couple.
154
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:56,974
That Casey?
155
00:05:57,042 --> 00:05:58,175
Looks like we got a mission.
156
00:05:58,243 --> 00:05:59,877
Thank God.
157
00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:06,517
I'm afraid you two are gonna
have to drop your dating cover
158
00:06:06,585 --> 00:06:07,651
for this particular
assignment.
159
00:06:07,719 --> 00:06:09,086
No problem.
- What is it?
160
00:06:09,154 --> 00:06:12,022
Thai street racing gang,
a Ukrainian prostitution ring?
161
00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:13,324
No, for this
mission,
162
00:06:13,391 --> 00:06:16,026
you and Agent Walker
are gonna be married.
163
00:06:20,565 --> 00:06:21,899
You two kids are going
to the suburbs.
164
00:06:23,201 --> 00:06:25,636
Good luck as a
normal couple.
165
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:44,555
# Na-na na-na na-na #
166
00:06:44,623 --> 00:06:47,491
# Na-na na-na
na-na #
167
00:06:47,559 --> 00:06:49,126
# Na-na na-na na-na #
168
00:06:49,194 --> 00:06:50,794
# Na-na na-na
na-na #
169
00:06:50,862 --> 00:06:52,329
# Na-na na-na na-na #
170
00:06:52,397 --> 00:06:55,599
# Na-na na-na
na-na #
171
00:07:07,238 --> 00:07:08,505
No.
172
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:12,409
Maybe.
173
00:07:12,476 --> 00:07:14,244
Breaking out a
dad shirt, huh?
174
00:07:14,311 --> 00:07:15,378
Yeah.
175
00:07:15,446 --> 00:07:16,679
What do you think?
176
00:07:16,747 --> 00:07:18,681
Well, I think it makes you look
very grown-up.
177
00:07:18,749 --> 00:07:20,650
Oh, good,
that's kind of the idea.
178
00:07:20,718 --> 00:07:21,851
Yeah, where are you guys going?
179
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:23,386
Uh, Sarah and I
are just house-sitting.
180
00:07:23,454 --> 00:07:25,855
Her boss at the Orange Orange
is out of town, so...
181
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,157
Oh, Chuck, that's...
that's great.
182
00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:28,658
Spending a week in the suburbs?
183
00:07:28,726 --> 00:07:30,393
Yeah, dream come true.
184
00:07:30,461 --> 00:07:31,661
No, don't you get it?
185
00:07:31,729 --> 00:07:33,863
This is... this is like
a dry run, you know,
186
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:36,666
so you and Sarah can see
what it would really be like.
187
00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:37,734
Zip it! Uh-uh!
188
00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:39,702
That is your wedding craziness
189
00:07:39,770 --> 00:07:41,871
right there, so keep that--
that's yours.
190
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,840
We're just house-sitting--
it's no big deal.
191
00:07:43,908 --> 00:07:46,242
Okay, fine,
can we call it cohabitating
192
00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:48,144
with your long-term girlfriend
in a house
193
00:07:48,212 --> 00:07:52,115
that doesn't have posters that
were hung in the eighth grade?
194
00:07:52,183 --> 00:07:53,249
That-That...
195
00:07:53,317 --> 00:07:55,418
is a collectible,
but yeah, fine.
196
00:07:55,486 --> 00:07:57,020
We can... we can call it that.
197
00:07:57,088 --> 00:07:58,988
Then, that
is a big step forward.
198
00:09:21,205 --> 00:09:21,271
Love what you've done
with the place.
199
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:24,107
Thanks--
I had help.
200
00:09:24,175 --> 00:09:26,576
Uh, sorry, but whose life
have I stepped into?
201
00:09:26,644 --> 00:09:28,011
What-What...
202
00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:29,112
What are you doing?
203
00:09:30,347 --> 00:09:31,648
What does it look
like I'm doing?
204
00:09:31,715 --> 00:09:32,916
I'm making potato salad.
205
00:09:32,983 --> 00:09:34,717
Are you cooking
for the entire neighborhood?
206
00:09:34,785 --> 00:09:35,919
No, Chuck.
207
00:09:35,986 --> 00:09:38,188
You are.
208
00:09:38,255 --> 00:09:40,023
Hey, there's the
grill-meister!
209
00:09:41,225 --> 00:09:43,159
Welcome, neighbors.
210
00:09:43,227 --> 00:09:44,794
Don't forget,
one of our new neighbors
211
00:09:44,862 --> 00:09:46,095
is a suspected terrorist.
212
00:09:48,799 --> 00:09:49,933
You heard the little lady.
213
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,401
Get out there and mingle.
214
00:09:57,575 --> 00:09:59,342
Gentlemen,
215
00:09:59,410 --> 00:10:01,911
I think that I speak
for all of us when I say
216
00:10:01,979 --> 00:10:04,047
that the only reason that I took
this job at the Buy More
217
00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:07,116
was to do as little work
as humanly possible.
218
00:10:07,184 --> 00:10:09,452
And the big man...
he made that dream a reality.
219
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,988
That man's an inspiration
to slackers everywhere.
220
00:10:12,056 --> 00:10:13,790
Until his old lady
dumped him.
221
00:10:13,857 --> 00:10:15,124
We're screwed...
I mean, we're screwed
222
00:10:15,192 --> 00:10:17,227
now that he has nothing
to live for except for work.
223
00:10:17,294 --> 00:10:20,063
Yeah, but how do we get
Mrs. Big Mike to take him back?
224
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:21,664
How do you mend
a broken heart?
225
00:10:21,732 --> 00:10:23,600
You mean, how do
we get him laid?
226
00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:27,337
I'm sorry to interrupt this
little meeting of the minds,
227
00:10:27,404 --> 00:10:28,838
but you're not the only ones
228
00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,840
who find this new regime
insufferable.
229
00:10:30,908 --> 00:10:32,775
It's obvious that
our rotund leader
230
00:10:32,843 --> 00:10:35,778
is channeling his sexual
energies into the Buy More.
231
00:10:35,846 --> 00:10:37,146
In my opinion,
our only hope...
232
00:10:37,214 --> 00:10:38,982
Is to channel them back
into sex. Yes, brilliant,
233
00:10:39,049 --> 00:10:40,350
Emmett, but where
do we find
234
00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:42,552
Big Mike a ridiculously
out of his league hottie?
235
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,254
Yeah, someone
who will suck his...
236
00:10:44,321 --> 00:10:45,521
will to work out of him.
237
00:10:45,589 --> 00:10:46,756
Not at a Bennigans's bar.
238
00:10:46,824 --> 00:10:49,058
Sometimes, that fruit
hangs a little too low.
239
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:52,128
Where do you meet people
you don't have to pay for sex?
240
00:10:58,135 --> 00:10:59,702
Welcome to the neighborhood.
241
00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:00,870
Oh...
242
00:11:00,938 --> 00:11:03,039
Hi.
- How you doing?
243
00:11:03,107 --> 00:11:04,674
I'm good. I'm... I...
- Hi. My name is Charles.
244
00:11:04,742 --> 00:11:05,742
Oh, I'm Brad.
245
00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:07,644
I live next door.
There you go.
246
00:11:07,711 --> 00:11:08,745
I'm... I'm so sorry.
247
00:11:08,812 --> 00:11:10,313
I just ran out.
248
00:11:10,381 --> 00:11:12,315
Well, lucky for you,
I'm in the stationery biz.
249
00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:13,549
Check this baby out.
250
00:11:13,617 --> 00:11:16,352
It is 110 pound card stock,
brand-new,
251
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:17,887
genuine embossing,
252
00:11:17,955 --> 00:11:18,888
antique finish.
253
00:11:18,956 --> 00:11:20,189
Wow.
254
00:11:20,257 --> 00:11:22,392
Listen, don't let
any of these bums know,
255
00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:24,360
but I can get you
a thousand of those at cost.
256
00:11:24,428 --> 00:11:26,329
Enough shoptalk.
257
00:11:26,397 --> 00:11:28,097
Let's go meet some of the
natives. What do you say?
258
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,098
Okay.
259
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:30,500
Guys, this is Charlie.
260
00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,669
Uh, Charlie, over here
we got Mark.
261
00:11:32,736 --> 00:11:34,337
Hi. Hi.
Whatever you do,
262
00:11:34,405 --> 00:11:36,172
do not let him
drive your golf cart.
263
00:11:38,242 --> 00:11:40,109
We got Dennis here.
Uh, Dennis and his wife,
264
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,211
Trudy, every Friday night,
265
00:11:42,279 --> 00:11:43,980
they play a pretty wild
game of charades.
266
00:11:44,048 --> 00:11:45,114
It gets pretty zany.
267
00:11:46,383 --> 00:11:49,152
And this one,
last but least, Mitch.
268
00:11:49,219 --> 00:11:51,087
Do not believe a word
this dog says.
269
00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:54,624
Hold on a minute.
270
00:11:54,692 --> 00:11:56,359
Who is that
talking to my wife?
271
00:11:59,363 --> 00:12:01,264
Oh, that's-that's my wife.
272
00:12:01,332 --> 00:12:02,332
That's Sarah.
273
00:12:04,835 --> 00:12:06,336
Well...
274
00:12:06,403 --> 00:12:08,805
Well done, Charlie.
275
00:12:08,872 --> 00:12:11,040
You want to trade
sometime?
276
00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:17,880
I'm kidding!
277
00:12:17,948 --> 00:12:20,416
No way the PTA
would stand for that.
278
00:12:20,484 --> 00:12:21,718
All right, all right.
279
00:12:21,785 --> 00:12:23,052
Just a few more details
and you will be ready
280
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,954
to mingle with the singles.
281
00:12:25,022 --> 00:12:26,856
Who the hell is this
Lando Calrissian?
282
00:12:26,924 --> 00:12:29,425
He's only the coolest guy
in the entire universe.
283
00:12:29,493 --> 00:12:30,293
It's just your user name.
284
00:12:30,361 --> 00:12:32,762
Six-two, 185 pounds?
285
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:34,330
I don't know, Morgan.
Listen to me.
286
00:12:34,398 --> 00:12:36,833
Everybody is taller
and thinner online.
287
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:39,569
It's called the Internet
hotness conversion factor.
288
00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:40,837
What do you want
your job to be?
289
00:12:40,904 --> 00:12:42,572
Uh, manager at the Buy More.
290
00:12:44,441 --> 00:12:45,708
Make him an astronaut.
291
00:12:45,776 --> 00:12:47,810
What about lion tamer?
- Wait, I got it. I got it.
292
00:12:47,878 --> 00:12:49,045
I just don't know
about this whole
293
00:12:49,113 --> 00:12:51,280
World Wide Web business.
294
00:12:51,348 --> 00:12:52,749
That ain't no way
to meet a woman.
295
00:12:52,816 --> 00:12:54,183
You know how
I met my wife?
296
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,284
Church picnic.
297
00:12:55,352 --> 00:12:56,686
Yeah, look
how that worked out.
298
00:12:56,754 --> 00:13:00,456
There was no hiding who you were
or-or how you felt.
299
00:13:00,524 --> 00:13:02,091
The very first time
300
00:13:02,159 --> 00:13:04,694
I laid my eyes
on Gladys, I knew.
301
00:13:04,762 --> 00:13:06,028
Good Lord.
302
00:13:06,096 --> 00:13:07,029
Who are they?
303
00:13:07,097 --> 00:13:08,364
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
304
00:13:08,432 --> 00:13:09,999
Users who matched your profile.
305
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:11,401
This ain't no
church picnic.
306
00:13:11,468 --> 00:13:13,536
Check out Red Hot Mama.
307
00:13:13,604 --> 00:13:15,471
Muy caliente.
308
00:13:15,539 --> 00:13:17,974
What about the Internet hotness
conversion factor?
309
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,275
Doesn't that work both ways?
310
00:13:19,343 --> 00:13:20,977
Why can't you see her face
in that picture?
311
00:13:21,044 --> 00:13:23,045
Focus on the body,
Michael.
312
00:13:23,113 --> 00:13:24,380
Gee whiz, Mike.
313
00:13:24,448 --> 00:13:26,616
We're trying to help
you find love here.
314
00:13:27,918 --> 00:13:30,086
Dirty, nasty, filthy love.
315
00:13:30,154 --> 00:13:32,121
So, then the Greek guy says,
316
00:13:32,189 --> 00:13:34,123
"Well, at least we know
where the olive went."
317
00:13:42,733 --> 00:13:45,268
My sentiments exactly.
318
00:13:49,807 --> 00:13:51,174
Can I let you in
on little a secret
319
00:13:51,241 --> 00:13:52,575
about your neighbors,
Mr...?
320
00:13:52,643 --> 00:13:54,410
Carmichael. Charles.
321
00:13:54,478 --> 00:13:56,446
They bore me.
322
00:13:56,513 --> 00:13:57,814
Oh, yeah?
323
00:13:57,881 --> 00:13:59,081
Yeah, it's, uh...
324
00:13:59,149 --> 00:14:01,184
it's not really
my scene either.
325
00:14:01,251 --> 00:14:05,254
Perhaps the two of us can, uh,
get together sometime.
326
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,490
Maybe engage in something
a little more...
327
00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:10,193
stimulating?
328
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:11,227
Don't-Don't...
329
00:14:11,295 --> 00:14:12,328
Sorry. I... Slippery.
330
00:14:12,396 --> 00:14:14,564
That's very kind
of you to offer
331
00:14:14,631 --> 00:14:15,731
and it sounds like
a lot of fun,
332
00:14:15,799 --> 00:14:17,834
but I am very, very married.
333
00:14:19,036 --> 00:14:21,103
Congratulations,
Mr. Carmichael.
334
00:14:21,171 --> 00:14:22,238
But who isn't?
335
00:14:22,306 --> 00:14:23,339
My husband's right over there.
336
00:14:25,676 --> 00:14:26,976
He's a big fella,
isn't he?
337
00:14:27,044 --> 00:14:28,578
What line of work is he in?
338
00:14:28,645 --> 00:14:29,846
Lumberjack?
339
00:14:29,913 --> 00:14:32,548
The kind that keeps him
out of town.
340
00:14:33,851 --> 00:14:35,218
Charles!
341
00:14:37,554 --> 00:14:39,021
Is that your wife?
342
00:14:39,089 --> 00:14:41,057
She seems very...
343
00:14:41,124 --> 00:14:43,192
pretty.
344
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:45,161
Well, got to run.
You know how it is.
345
00:14:45,229 --> 00:14:46,596
The old ball and chain.
346
00:14:46,663 --> 00:14:47,830
Listen, Charles.
347
00:14:47,898 --> 00:14:49,432
I just live
right across the street.
348
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:53,503
So call me...
when the honeymoon's over.
349
00:14:53,570 --> 00:14:55,538
I've got a chain, too.
350
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,741
I bet you do.
351
00:15:00,911 --> 00:15:02,778
Excuse me.
352
00:15:05,582 --> 00:15:06,782
Well?
353
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:08,017
No flashes.
No nothing.
354
00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:09,418
I think our
neighbors are clean.
355
00:15:09,486 --> 00:15:11,888
Except for that lady
across the street.
356
00:15:11,955 --> 00:15:13,456
She's got a dirty mouth.
357
00:15:13,524 --> 00:15:15,992
Well, are you sure
you checked everybody?
358
00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:17,159
Maybe we got the
wrong cul-de-sac.
359
00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:18,261
Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael?
360
00:15:18,328 --> 00:15:19,729
Would you come inside, please?
361
00:15:19,796 --> 00:15:20,930
There's a slight problem
with your cable.
362
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:33,442
Looks like one of ours.
363
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:43,686
Uh, correction--
that was one of ours.
364
00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:46,622
That bug was stolen from
a CIA substation in Omaha
365
00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:48,190
in '06.
366
00:15:48,258 --> 00:15:49,325
Now it belongs to FULCRUM.
367
00:15:49,393 --> 00:15:51,093
And here I thought
368
00:15:51,161 --> 00:15:53,029
we were all looking for a
garden-variety terrorist.
369
00:15:53,096 --> 00:15:55,398
Better hurry up, buddy.
370
00:15:55,465 --> 00:15:56,532
Your wieners are burning.
371
00:16:02,773 --> 00:16:04,540
I knew these people
creeped me out.
372
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:30,757
Hi. Did you sleep well?
373
00:16:30,825 --> 00:16:32,492
Like a log, honey.
374
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,427
How did you sleep?
375
00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:36,863
What are you doing?
Did Casey find more bugs?
376
00:16:36,931 --> 00:16:38,465
I'm cooking breakfast.
377
00:16:38,533 --> 00:16:40,467
Casey swept the house.
It's clean.
378
00:16:40,535 --> 00:16:42,802
Okay. Well, are we going
to invite the neighbors over?
379
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:46,339
No, Chuck.
I-I'm cooking for you.
380
00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:51,912
What?
381
00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:52,946
Nothing.
382
00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:56,416
It's just funny.
383
00:16:56,484 --> 00:16:59,352
I never pictured
you doing this.
384
00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:00,987
Well, what can I say?
385
00:17:01,055 --> 00:17:02,055
I'm versatile.
386
00:17:03,257 --> 00:17:04,391
Sit.
387
00:17:06,594 --> 00:17:07,661
Hold on.
388
00:17:07,728 --> 00:17:09,129
Are-Are-Are you enjoying
389
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,297
this whole Martha Stewart thing?
390
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,900
I can't believe it.
391
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,902
Please tell me you're
not going soft on me.
392
00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:17,404
Just shut up
and eat your breakfast.
393
00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:20,006
You better be careful, Sarah.
394
00:17:20,074 --> 00:17:21,775
One day you might actually
turn into a real girl.
395
00:17:58,312 --> 00:18:00,113
Sweetie.
396
00:18:00,181 --> 00:18:01,381
Sweetie?
397
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:02,649
I almost forgot.
398
00:18:02,717 --> 00:18:04,918
Would you mind swinging
by the store for me?
399
00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:14,494
Have a great
day at work.
400
00:18:16,697 --> 00:18:18,465
Okay.
401
00:18:48,896 --> 00:18:49,929
Wipe that look off your face.
402
00:18:49,997 --> 00:18:51,398
Wait, that's Sarah's...
403
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:53,933
Invisible ink, really?
You guys can't
404
00:18:54,001 --> 00:18:55,935
just use the phone?
- We're dealing with FULCRUM here.
405
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:57,203
They bugged your house,
they bugged the phones.
406
00:18:57,271 --> 00:18:58,505
Sometimes you got to do it
the old-fashioned way.
407
00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,940
"Location clear.
Target on move"?
408
00:19:01,008 --> 00:19:02,575
Wait. You guys figured
out who planted the bug?
409
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:03,610
Yeah.
410
00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:04,811
Ring any Intersect bells?
411
00:19:04,879 --> 00:19:06,513
Hmm?
412
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,814
Yeah, that's crazy
cougar lady's husband.
413
00:19:07,882 --> 00:19:09,315
How do you know it's him?
414
00:19:09,383 --> 00:19:11,084
Well, while you and Walker
were busy playing house,
415
00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:12,552
I was doing some
old-fashioned spy work.
416
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:13,753
Pulled a fingerprint
off the bug,
417
00:19:13,821 --> 00:19:14,888
ran it through
the database.
418
00:19:14,955 --> 00:19:15,955
So, who was this
guy before FULCRUM?
419
00:19:16,023 --> 00:19:17,223
CIA Psy-Ops.
420
00:19:17,291 --> 00:19:19,225
Agency shrinks.
A real bunch of weirdos.
421
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:20,860
I also ran
his bank records.
422
00:19:20,928 --> 00:19:22,195
Turns out he bought
enough of this stuff
423
00:19:22,263 --> 00:19:23,997
to stretch from
here to Gardena.
424
00:19:24,065 --> 00:19:25,665
Infiniband data line.
The same stuff we use
425
00:19:25,733 --> 00:19:28,201
to tap into
the Agency's intranet.
426
00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:29,703
Any idea what
your neighbor was using it for?
427
00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:31,271
I don't know.
428
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,006
Uh, online gaming?
429
00:19:33,074 --> 00:19:34,274
Porn?
430
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,942
Or...
- I don't know. Or...
431
00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:37,377
Hacking into government servers.
432
00:19:37,445 --> 00:19:38,745
Or hacking into
government servers.
433
00:19:38,813 --> 00:19:40,046
I was going to say
that eventually.
434
00:19:40,114 --> 00:19:41,247
Okay, great. I'm glad
you guys cracked it.
435
00:19:41,315 --> 00:19:42,248
Glad I could help.
436
00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:43,616
Help...
437
00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:45,618
by getting us into that house
and onto that computer.
438
00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:47,120
You want me to go
in as Nerd Herd?
439
00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:49,556
Wrong again, Bartowski.
440
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,257
You're going to go in
the old-fashioned way.
441
00:19:51,325 --> 00:19:53,426
You want me to sleep
with our neighbor Sylvia?
442
00:19:53,494 --> 00:19:56,129
No, we want you to pretend
to want to sleep with her,
443
00:19:56,197 --> 00:19:58,031
and then see if you can get
on her FULCRUM husband's PC
444
00:19:58,099 --> 00:19:59,532
and see if you flash
on anything.
445
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,567
You want to throw
in a little sex...
446
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,601
that's your prerogative.
447
00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:04,738
Whatever, Casey. Look,
I just don't know
448
00:20:04,805 --> 00:20:05,839
how Sarah's going
to feel about this.
449
00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:07,140
There's no way she's
450
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:08,074
going to let her husband
just sleep with...
451
00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:10,343
Is he ready?
452
00:20:10,411 --> 00:20:13,179
Chuck, look, I'm sorry,
but this is our best option.
453
00:20:13,247 --> 00:20:14,748
Target's got the house rigged
with state-of-the-art security.
454
00:20:14,815 --> 00:20:17,851
And since his wife's expressed
a romantic interest in you...
455
00:20:17,918 --> 00:20:19,552
We need you to exploit it.
456
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:22,055
Oh, exploit it. Gotcha.
457
00:20:22,123 --> 00:20:23,623
Yeah. Textbook CIA.
458
00:20:23,691 --> 00:20:26,159
Look, Casey and I will be
with you every step of the way.
459
00:20:26,227 --> 00:20:27,761
Yeah, if the cougar
gets a little hairy,
460
00:20:27,828 --> 00:20:28,995
you can always tap out.
461
00:20:29,063 --> 00:20:30,330
Look, we understand
462
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,765
if this makes you uncomfortable.
463
00:20:31,832 --> 00:20:33,399
Breaking my fake wedding vows?
464
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:34,667
No, forget about it.
465
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,102
I'm golden. Just hit me
with another spritz
466
00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:37,470
of that, would you?
467
00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:39,706
Why here?
468
00:20:43,778 --> 00:20:45,612
Mr. Carmichael.
469
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,314
I didn't expect you
to come so quickly.
470
00:20:48,382 --> 00:20:53,052
Charles Carmichael
always comes quickly.
471
00:20:54,455 --> 00:20:55,855
Real smooth, Bartowski.
472
00:20:56,891 --> 00:20:58,358
Come on in.
- Okay.
473
00:21:03,964 --> 00:21:06,533
The cable enters the house
474
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,134
through the northwest corner,
upstairs.
475
00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:09,602
Oh, hey!
476
00:21:09,670 --> 00:21:11,004
This is where
the magic happens.
477
00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:13,339
What do you think your,
uh, wife would say
478
00:21:13,407 --> 00:21:14,874
if she knew you
were up here?
479
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:16,142
You think she'd
be jealous?
480
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:18,711
Well, it's like you said.
481
00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,046
I mean, the honeymoon--
482
00:21:20,114 --> 00:21:21,815
she is over.
483
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,084
Hi-oh.
If you don't mind me asking,
484
00:21:25,152 --> 00:21:29,122
when was the last time you
and your wife made love?
485
00:21:29,190 --> 00:21:29,856
Well, that's a...
486
00:21:29,924 --> 00:21:31,157
that's a... that's a...
487
00:21:32,193 --> 00:21:33,259
That's a good one.
488
00:21:33,327 --> 00:21:34,594
You know, things have
been a little cold
489
00:21:34,662 --> 00:21:35,962
in that department lately.
- Oh, poor baby.
490
00:21:36,030 --> 00:21:37,597
Oh.
491
00:21:37,665 --> 00:21:39,566
Do you know what I'm going
to do to you, Charles?
492
00:21:41,202 --> 00:21:42,335
I got a pretty good idea.
493
00:21:43,504 --> 00:21:45,839
I'm going to
thaw you out.
494
00:21:45,906 --> 00:21:47,841
Oh, I bet you are,
495
00:21:47,908 --> 00:21:49,576
you-you she-devil.
496
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,945
You temptress,
you've taken my sock off.
497
00:21:52,012 --> 00:21:53,613
Ticklish. Ticklish. Ticklish.
498
00:21:53,681 --> 00:21:54,881
Those are my feet.
That's my feet area.
499
00:21:54,949 --> 00:21:56,382
Maybe-Maybe you know what?
500
00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:57,450
Maybe we could just talk
for a few minutes.
501
00:21:57,518 --> 00:21:58,151
How's that sound?
- Ugh.
502
00:21:59,587 --> 00:22:01,254
You didn't come here to talk.
503
00:22:01,322 --> 00:22:02,589
I didn't?
I didn't come here to talk?
504
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:04,657
Why, why not?
Talking's perfectly...
505
00:22:04,725 --> 00:22:07,427
Talking's overrated anyway,
isn't it?
506
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,695
No, you know what?
507
00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:09,796
It's just that
I'm a little...
508
00:22:09,864 --> 00:22:10,697
I'm a little nervous
because this is...
509
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:12,532
the whole
adultery game is
510
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,701
a little new...
little new to me.
511
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,436
And I think, I think
just a... just a drink,
512
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,538
a little liquid courage would
really go a long way right now.
513
00:22:20,608 --> 00:22:22,175
Is Scotch okay?
514
00:22:22,243 --> 00:22:23,309
Sounds delish.
515
00:22:23,377 --> 00:22:25,178
Thank you.
516
00:22:25,246 --> 00:22:26,679
I'll be right here.
517
00:22:26,747 --> 00:22:28,081
But you already knew that.
518
00:22:28,148 --> 00:22:31,317
Crazy person.
519
00:22:31,385 --> 00:22:32,518
Come...
520
00:22:33,921 --> 00:22:34,888
Casey, I'm handcuffed.
521
00:22:34,955 --> 00:22:36,956
Relax. Handcuffs are a cinch.
522
00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:38,458
Really?
- Yeah.
523
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:39,993
There's a bone in your thumb.
Tiny bone.
524
00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:41,261
Real easy to break.
525
00:22:41,328 --> 00:22:42,695
What you're gonna want to do
is you're gonna
526
00:22:42,763 --> 00:22:44,564
want to apply torsional pressure
to it until it snaps.
527
00:22:44,632 --> 00:22:46,633
I'm not gonna break my bone!
528
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,401
Well, in that case,
you are screwed.
529
00:22:51,105 --> 00:22:52,438
Think. Think. Think.
530
00:22:52,506 --> 00:22:53,640
Wait a minute. Wait.
531
00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:55,008
Hey.
532
00:22:55,075 --> 00:22:56,409
Hey. Hey.
533
00:23:01,081 --> 00:23:01,948
Oh, okay.
534
00:23:23,137 --> 00:23:24,671
Damn it.
Password protected.
535
00:23:30,010 --> 00:23:32,078
Salamander.
536
00:23:32,146 --> 00:23:33,980
Sal... Salamander.
537
00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:14,710
Chuck.
538
00:24:14,778 --> 00:24:16,712
Chuck, you have to get out
of there.
539
00:24:16,780 --> 00:24:19,015
Chuck? Chuck?
540
00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:20,483
Stay where you are, Agent
Walker. I'm going in after him.
541
00:24:24,721 --> 00:24:26,556
Have you tested him yet?
542
00:24:28,325 --> 00:24:30,026
He's upstairs.
I've got him cuffed.
543
00:24:38,602 --> 00:24:40,736
He was just here.
544
00:25:02,559 --> 00:25:04,026
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!
545
00:25:08,699 --> 00:25:11,434
He ran the test.
546
00:25:11,501 --> 00:25:13,035
He survived.
547
00:25:13,103 --> 00:25:15,638
We found our subject.
548
00:25:25,616 --> 00:25:27,483
Good afternoon.
549
00:25:29,319 --> 00:25:30,586
Charlie?
550
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:31,587
Brad.
551
00:25:35,959 --> 00:25:38,194
You are never gonna believe what
just happened to me over there!
552
00:25:38,261 --> 00:25:39,462
Well, this ought to be good.
553
00:25:45,769 --> 00:25:46,402
Ooh.
554
00:25:52,776 --> 00:25:55,044
I send you there undercover
555
00:25:55,112 --> 00:25:58,481
and you not only nearly expose
Mr. Bartowski to FULCRUM
556
00:25:58,548 --> 00:26:00,616
but to an entire cul-de-sac
of civilians?
557
00:26:00,684 --> 00:26:02,685
No excuses, General,
we pooched it.
558
00:26:02,753 --> 00:26:03,552
No.
559
00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:04,854
No, we didn't pooch it.
560
00:26:04,921 --> 00:26:06,389
We didn't pooch it.
General, look,
561
00:26:06,456 --> 00:26:08,624
I-I saw something
on that computer, okay?
562
00:26:08,692 --> 00:26:10,860
I saw... pictures.
563
00:26:10,927 --> 00:26:12,361
How illuminating.
- General,
564
00:26:12,429 --> 00:26:13,796
they weren't regular pictures.
565
00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:15,531
They were like Intersect
pictures,
566
00:26:15,599 --> 00:26:18,167
embedded files, like the ones
that Bryce sent me, only...
567
00:26:18,235 --> 00:26:20,436
very different.
568
00:26:20,504 --> 00:26:22,672
We think Chuck could have
FULCRUM programming in his brain.
569
00:26:22,739 --> 00:26:24,073
In that case,
570
00:26:24,141 --> 00:26:26,375
I'm pulling Mr. Bartowski
from this operation.
571
00:26:26,443 --> 00:26:28,878
But as long as Agent Walker's
cover is intact,
572
00:26:28,945 --> 00:26:30,746
I want you two to lock down
the cul-de-sac,
573
00:26:30,814 --> 00:26:32,081
monitor FULCRUM,
574
00:26:32,149 --> 00:26:33,382
see what else you can uncover
575
00:26:33,450 --> 00:26:35,418
before we make a move
on their cell.
576
00:26:35,485 --> 00:26:37,653
The Carmichaels are getting
a divorce.
577
00:26:42,426 --> 00:26:45,061
Oh, my, my, my.
578
00:26:45,128 --> 00:26:47,329
Don't you look prosperous,
Michael.
579
00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:48,798
Wow, tonight's the night
with the Internet lady?
580
00:26:48,865 --> 00:26:49,799
How ya feeling, big guy?
581
00:26:49,866 --> 00:26:50,900
Like an imposter.
582
00:26:50,967 --> 00:26:52,134
Look at me.
583
00:26:52,202 --> 00:26:53,469
Look at this ridiculous outfit.
584
00:26:53,537 --> 00:26:55,404
She's gonna take one look at me
and realize
585
00:26:55,472 --> 00:26:58,374
I am not a 185-pound
shipping magnate.
586
00:26:58,442 --> 00:27:00,209
Oh, relax.
That suit is...
587
00:27:00,277 --> 00:27:02,211
very slimming.
- That's right.
588
00:27:02,279 --> 00:27:03,813
That's right.
You know what?
589
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,181
It'll make your wallet
look fat.
590
00:27:05,248 --> 00:27:06,549
Yeah, Morgan's right.
591
00:27:06,616 --> 00:27:08,350
That poor lady is not
gonna know what hit her.
592
00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:10,986
You're gonna need a hydraulic
crowbar to pry her off.
593
00:27:11,054 --> 00:27:12,788
Yes.
594
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:17,593
What do you say, Bartowski?
595
00:27:17,661 --> 00:27:19,261
Should I come clean?
596
00:27:19,329 --> 00:27:20,596
Tell her who
I really am?
597
00:27:20,664 --> 00:27:22,031
You got your girl
without having to lie
598
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,165
about your lowly occupation,
right?
599
00:27:23,233 --> 00:27:25,768
Um... yeah, you know,
600
00:27:25,836 --> 00:27:28,003
I'm-I'm not so sure
I'm the best role model.
601
00:27:28,071 --> 00:27:29,572
You're better than these losers.
602
00:27:29,639 --> 00:27:31,240
When was the last time
any of y'all had dates?
603
00:27:31,308 --> 00:27:32,475
And I'm not counting Bennigan's.
604
00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:36,712
And you... you and Anna break up
every other week.
605
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:38,280
And you...
606
00:27:38,348 --> 00:27:40,182
I don't even know what
your affiliation is, Elvis.
607
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:42,418
What does he mean,
my affiliation?
608
00:27:42,486 --> 00:27:43,452
That bathroom thing.
609
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,321
Look, Mike, I don't know.
610
00:27:45,388 --> 00:27:46,789
It's up to you.
611
00:27:46,857 --> 00:27:48,758
But do you really want to be
a part of a relationship
612
00:27:48,825 --> 00:27:50,693
that's founded on lies?
613
00:27:54,865 --> 00:27:56,132
The answer's yes.
614
00:27:56,199 --> 00:27:57,500
Yep.
- Absolutely. He is not thinking.
615
00:28:12,282 --> 00:28:14,116
Oh, my...
616
00:28:31,601 --> 00:28:33,669
Agent Walker,
617
00:28:33,737 --> 00:28:36,438
I've got unknowns
moving on your position.
618
00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:38,474
This is Sarah. Leave a message.
619
00:28:38,542 --> 00:28:40,776
Sarah, Sarah, you and Casey have
to get out of the cul-de-sac
620
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:42,778
immediately-- I just flashed,
I just flashed on something.
621
00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:44,713
I think it was FULCRUM--
it was something that I...
622
00:28:44,781 --> 00:28:45,981
I uploaded
off the computer, okay.
623
00:28:46,049 --> 00:28:48,284
Excuse me. Hi.
Yeah, could you
624
00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:50,152
give me a hand with
my cable, please?
625
00:28:50,220 --> 00:28:52,788
The company that built
the neighborhood is a front.
626
00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:54,423
Uh, if you're looking
for free premium channels
627
00:28:54,491 --> 00:28:55,591
I'm not the guy.
628
00:28:55,659 --> 00:28:56,659
Oh, no, no, no.
629
00:28:56,726 --> 00:28:57,693
It's nothing like that.
630
00:28:57,761 --> 00:28:59,128
It's not just a house.
631
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,429
The entire neighborhood
is FULCRUM.
632
00:29:00,497 --> 00:29:01,697
For some reason
633
00:29:01,765 --> 00:29:03,499
I'm getting some kind of
weird interference.
634
00:29:03,567 --> 00:29:05,568
I think somebody in the neighborhood
might be running some kind
635
00:29:05,635 --> 00:29:07,636
of high-powered
electronic equipment.
636
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:09,171
Actually, I think
it... it might be
637
00:29:09,239 --> 00:29:10,472
that house right
over there.
638
00:29:25,388 --> 00:29:26,288
Hi.
639
00:29:26,356 --> 00:29:27,556
I'm so sorry
640
00:29:27,624 --> 00:29:28,824
about what happened
with your husband.
641
00:29:28,892 --> 00:29:30,759
It must have been awful.
642
00:29:30,827 --> 00:29:33,395
It's times like these
you need your neighbors most.
643
00:29:33,463 --> 00:29:35,264
Oh. Thank you.
644
00:29:35,332 --> 00:29:36,932
Uh, come in.
645
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,267
I hope you like brownies.
646
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,547
Looking for the wife?
647
00:29:51,615 --> 00:29:54,283
She's having a chat
with the ladies.
648
00:29:59,723 --> 00:30:01,690
You feeling all right, buddy?
649
00:30:34,594 --> 00:30:36,261
How's his blood pressure?
- A little high.
650
00:30:36,329 --> 00:30:37,930
Should I give him
more sedative?
651
00:30:37,997 --> 00:30:39,398
No.
- Sarah?
652
00:30:39,465 --> 00:30:41,300
He's going to be fine.
- Sarah?
653
00:30:41,367 --> 00:30:42,701
Where's Sarah?
654
00:30:42,769 --> 00:30:44,536
Sarah?
655
00:30:44,604 --> 00:30:47,506
Where's Sarah?
656
00:30:47,574 --> 00:30:49,508
Where's my wife?
- Mr. Carmichael,
657
00:30:49,576 --> 00:30:50,609
she isn't your wife.
658
00:30:50,677 --> 00:30:53,478
She's a CIA agent.
659
00:30:53,546 --> 00:30:54,780
And so are you.
660
00:30:56,015 --> 00:30:57,382
Wha...
661
00:30:57,450 --> 00:30:59,518
What do you want with me?
662
00:30:59,586 --> 00:31:02,888
You have got
a very special brain.
663
00:31:02,956 --> 00:31:04,590
Don't worry.
664
00:31:04,657 --> 00:31:07,125
We're going to do everything
we can to not damage it.
665
00:31:07,193 --> 00:31:08,594
Damage? Damage?
666
00:31:08,661 --> 00:31:09,861
What is he talking about?
667
00:31:09,929 --> 00:31:11,563
What you saw upstairs
was a small part
668
00:31:11,631 --> 00:31:12,831
of a computer program.
669
00:31:12,899 --> 00:31:14,366
The CIA designed it
670
00:31:14,434 --> 00:31:16,268
to implant intelligence
directly into agents
671
00:31:16,336 --> 00:31:17,703
through encoded
images.
672
00:31:17,770 --> 00:31:19,738
But the CIA gave up
on the program.
673
00:31:19,806 --> 00:31:21,473
They decided to
slug it out,
674
00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:23,942
fighting the war on terror
using Cold War tactics.
675
00:31:24,010 --> 00:31:25,477
But we're training agents
676
00:31:25,545 --> 00:31:27,245
who are ready to fight
tomorrow's wars.
677
00:31:27,313 --> 00:31:29,948
How would you like to be a part
of that future?
678
00:31:30,016 --> 00:31:31,750
How would you like
to be part of FULCRUM?
679
00:31:33,987 --> 00:31:35,854
What about...
680
00:31:35,922 --> 00:31:37,456
What about her?
681
00:31:37,523 --> 00:31:39,691
Look, I'll do whatever you want,
just let her go.
682
00:31:39,759 --> 00:31:42,794
Don't tell me you have feelings
683
00:31:42,862 --> 00:31:44,663
for your partner?
- Boy,
684
00:31:44,731 --> 00:31:46,198
you really let her get
into your head, huh?
685
00:31:46,265 --> 00:31:47,299
What did she tell you?
686
00:31:47,367 --> 00:31:49,568
That someday you two
would be together?
687
00:31:49,636 --> 00:31:52,504
Maybe settle down
in a cute little cul-de-sac
688
00:31:52,572 --> 00:31:53,739
like this one?
689
00:31:53,806 --> 00:31:55,841
You're funny.
690
00:31:55,908 --> 00:31:58,944
This place isn't real.
691
00:31:59,012 --> 00:32:02,114
Her feelings for you
aren't real.
692
00:32:02,181 --> 00:32:03,548
Don't worry.
693
00:32:03,616 --> 00:32:05,651
This next part should help
you get over her.
694
00:32:07,687 --> 00:32:09,521
If he survives it.
695
00:32:20,199 --> 00:32:21,199
Chuck!
696
00:32:23,403 --> 00:32:25,437
He can't hear you.
697
00:33:11,050 --> 00:33:13,218
No, no, no!
698
00:33:45,852 --> 00:33:47,385
Chuck... Chuck...
699
00:33:53,292 --> 00:33:54,926
Oh, he's toast.
- Chuck.
700
00:33:54,994 --> 00:33:56,261
Get him out of here.
701
00:33:56,329 --> 00:33:58,563
Dump him where you
dumped the others.
702
00:34:04,504 --> 00:34:05,537
What just happened?
703
00:34:05,605 --> 00:34:08,106
Mr. Carmichael.
704
00:34:10,910 --> 00:34:13,378
Do you know where you are,
Mr. Carmichael?
705
00:34:13,446 --> 00:34:16,648
Beneath Meadow Branch
subdivision in a FULCRUM lab
706
00:34:16,716 --> 00:34:18,583
that was built as part
of a secret initiative.
707
00:34:20,052 --> 00:34:21,686
What initiative?
708
00:34:21,754 --> 00:34:23,722
To rebuild
the Intersect computer.
709
00:34:23,790 --> 00:34:26,424
Oh, my God, it worked.
710
00:34:26,492 --> 00:34:27,959
Can I ask just
711
00:34:28,027 --> 00:34:30,195
one more question?
712
00:34:30,263 --> 00:34:33,665
You mind if we,
uh, test your wife next?
713
00:34:33,733 --> 00:34:35,500
Wife?
714
00:34:37,069 --> 00:34:39,171
I don't have a wife.
715
00:35:00,193 --> 00:35:01,893
Before you run the test,
716
00:35:01,961 --> 00:35:03,361
I'd like to tell Agent Walker
something.
717
00:35:03,429 --> 00:35:05,897
Agent Walker.
718
00:35:08,668 --> 00:35:10,202
Now we have a name.
719
00:35:25,551 --> 00:35:26,518
Close your eyes.
720
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,194
No, no, no!
721
00:36:08,094 --> 00:36:09,327
Are you okay?
722
00:36:09,395 --> 00:36:11,096
Yeah. You?
723
00:36:11,163 --> 00:36:12,631
I think so.
724
00:36:16,569 --> 00:36:19,104
Somebody call the cable guy?
725
00:36:30,663 --> 00:36:33,432
Take these guys to
the detention center.
726
00:36:33,499 --> 00:36:35,434
That one goes to
the agency morgue.
727
00:36:35,501 --> 00:36:37,202
We're not done
with him yet.
728
00:36:43,176 --> 00:36:45,077
Besides testing on humans,
729
00:36:45,144 --> 00:36:46,945
it appears that FULCRUM
is perilously close
730
00:36:47,013 --> 00:36:49,247
to completing
their own Intersect computer,
731
00:36:49,315 --> 00:36:51,316
making Bartowski
more important than ever.
732
00:36:51,384 --> 00:36:53,251
His life has never been
in more danger.
733
00:36:53,319 --> 00:36:54,987
The honeymoon is over,
Agent Walker.
734
00:36:55,054 --> 00:36:57,389
Yes, ma'am.
735
00:36:58,591 --> 00:37:00,626
Hey, everything okay?
736
00:37:00,693 --> 00:37:02,995
Yeah, just
a routine debriefing.
737
00:37:03,062 --> 00:37:04,763
Uh, so I was wondering
738
00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:07,366
if you wanted to swing by
the old cul-de-sac tonight.
739
00:37:07,433 --> 00:37:08,667
Why?
740
00:37:08,735 --> 00:37:11,737
Uh, I don't know, I
mean, I... you know,
741
00:37:11,804 --> 00:37:13,205
I figured we've
still got the place,
742
00:37:13,272 --> 00:37:14,606
and Ellie still thinks
we're house-sitting,
743
00:37:14,674 --> 00:37:17,209
so I thought that,
744
00:37:17,276 --> 00:37:19,945
you know, we could maybe
enjoy a night in the suburbs,
745
00:37:20,013 --> 00:37:21,613
order in, rent a movie.
746
00:37:21,681 --> 00:37:24,416
No mission to worry about,
just Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael.
747
00:37:24,484 --> 00:37:26,685
Maybe have some fun.
- Chuck,
748
00:37:26,753 --> 00:37:27,719
we can't go back there.
749
00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:28,987
It was just a cover.
750
00:37:29,055 --> 00:37:31,723
Yeah, I know that, I
just thought that...
751
00:37:31,791 --> 00:37:33,091
Casey and I have to shut down
the operation.
752
00:37:33,159 --> 00:37:34,059
Can we talk later?
753
00:37:36,229 --> 00:37:38,330
Absolutely.
754
00:37:38,398 --> 00:37:39,831
Uh, Chuck?
755
00:37:39,899 --> 00:37:40,832
Yeah.
756
00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:42,968
I'm going to need that back.
757
00:37:43,036 --> 00:37:45,270
Right.
758
00:37:47,540 --> 00:37:49,608
Almost forgot.
759
00:38:04,590 --> 00:38:05,524
Hey.
760
00:38:05,591 --> 00:38:06,925
How was the big date?
761
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:11,096
Gentlemen, it was a night
of exquisite passion.
762
00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:13,699
I did things with that woman
I didn't even know existed,
763
00:38:13,766 --> 00:38:15,600
which are likely illegal.
- Yes! So you took our advice?
764
00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:17,202
I lied my ass off.
765
00:38:17,270 --> 00:38:19,304
What did we tell you?
- Way to get back in the game, chief.
766
00:38:19,372 --> 00:38:21,740
Enough chitchat. We're
burning daylight.
767
00:38:21,808 --> 00:38:23,108
Lester, man the
Nerd Herd desk.
768
00:38:23,176 --> 00:38:25,043
Jeff, help out
the green shirts.
769
00:38:25,111 --> 00:38:26,845
I want the new inventory
stocked by lunch.
770
00:38:26,913 --> 00:38:28,847
My store had better be
shipshape.
771
00:38:28,915 --> 00:38:30,182
What, you're making us work?
772
00:38:30,249 --> 00:38:31,316
What about your new girlfriend?
773
00:38:31,384 --> 00:38:32,617
What about her?
774
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:33,952
She's gonna be here
any minute.
775
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:35,721
I invited
her down.
776
00:38:35,788 --> 00:38:38,523
Wow.
777
00:38:48,501 --> 00:38:50,202
Michael,
778
00:38:50,269 --> 00:38:51,503
what's going on?
779
00:38:51,571 --> 00:38:54,372
Why are you
dressed like that?
780
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:55,841
Because I work here.
781
00:38:55,908 --> 00:38:58,343
I am a manager
at the Buy More, Bolonia.
782
00:38:58,411 --> 00:39:00,912
But I thought
you were a boat captain.
783
00:39:00,980 --> 00:39:02,614
Shipping magnate,
784
00:39:02,682 --> 00:39:04,750
but that was something
I just made up
785
00:39:04,817 --> 00:39:06,785
so I could get to do
what we did last night.
786
00:39:06,853 --> 00:39:10,322
But after we did
what we did last night, I...
787
00:39:10,389 --> 00:39:12,257
I can't bear to lie
to you anymore,
788
00:39:12,325 --> 00:39:17,129
so I'll understand if you want
to tell me where to shove it,
789
00:39:17,196 --> 00:39:18,563
but I hope you'll forgive me.
790
00:39:18,631 --> 00:39:20,499
I do forgive you.
791
00:39:20,566 --> 00:39:22,534
The truth is
792
00:39:22,602 --> 00:39:25,070
I wasn't 100% honest
on my dating profile either.
793
00:39:26,372 --> 00:39:28,473
Aw, honey, I don't mind
a little extra weight.
794
00:39:29,842 --> 00:39:30,942
I have a son.
795
00:39:31,010 --> 00:39:34,246
Oh, w-well, s-so what?
796
00:39:34,313 --> 00:39:35,614
I love kids.
797
00:39:35,681 --> 00:39:37,482
He's 26 years old.
798
00:39:37,550 --> 00:39:39,017
Hmm.
- I thought you found out.
799
00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:40,085
I thought that's
why you wanted
800
00:39:40,153 --> 00:39:41,319
to meet here
in the store.
801
00:39:41,387 --> 00:39:42,621
I don't follow.
802
00:39:42,688 --> 00:39:44,890
Michael, my son
works here.
803
00:39:51,864 --> 00:39:53,932
Please, Lord,
let it be Bartowski.
804
00:40:06,012 --> 00:40:08,547
Mother.
805
00:40:08,614 --> 00:40:10,515
Mi hijo.
806
00:40:12,218 --> 00:40:13,919
Ah, yeah.
807
00:40:13,986 --> 00:40:15,554
żMi hijo?
808
00:40:16,722 --> 00:40:18,657
You're banging my mom?
809
00:40:19,859 --> 00:40:22,294
Hey.
810
00:40:22,361 --> 00:40:24,629
What did I tell you?
811
00:40:24,697 --> 00:40:26,565
House-sitting
really changes things, huh?
812
00:40:26,632 --> 00:40:29,968
Absolutely, just-just not
in the way you were hoping,
813
00:40:30,036 --> 00:40:31,636
El.
814
00:40:31,704 --> 00:40:33,104
To tell you
the truth,
815
00:40:33,172 --> 00:40:35,240
the suburbs were kind of
a disaster for me and Sarah.
816
00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:38,009
Well, what happened?
What went wrong?
817
00:40:38,077 --> 00:40:41,580
I guess something that's
been wrong from the start.
818
00:40:41,647 --> 00:40:43,281
You know?
819
00:40:43,349 --> 00:40:46,818
Are... you guys aren't
breaking up, are you?
820
00:40:46,886 --> 00:40:50,555
No, no, no, no, no, trust me,
Sarah's not going anywhere.
821
00:40:50,623 --> 00:40:52,224
Chuck, I guess I don't...
822
00:40:52,291 --> 00:40:54,159
I don't know
what you're saying exactly.
823
00:40:54,227 --> 00:40:56,027
Look, El, I know
how much you love Sarah
824
00:40:56,095 --> 00:40:58,163
and I know how much you love
the idea of us
825
00:40:58,231 --> 00:41:00,031
and us moving forward
with you and Devon,
826
00:41:00,099 --> 00:41:02,400
but we're not anything
like you guys.
827
00:41:02,468 --> 00:41:04,603
But you guys seem so perfect.
828
00:41:04,670 --> 00:41:08,840
Yeah, I know, I guess, but being
in that house with her,
829
00:41:08,908 --> 00:41:11,943
it was so close
to being perfect--
830
00:41:12,011 --> 00:41:16,514
the way I had always pictured
it would be--
831
00:41:16,582 --> 00:41:17,716
that I realized
832
00:41:17,783 --> 00:41:20,352
what was wrong
with that picture.
833
00:41:22,688 --> 00:41:24,789
And it was us.
834
00:41:30,363 --> 00:41:32,397
Sarah and I are never going
to be anything more
835
00:41:32,465 --> 00:41:33,932
than what we are right now.
836
00:41:37,303 --> 00:41:39,838
And you know what?
837
00:41:39,906 --> 00:41:41,406
I'm okay with that.
838
00:41:44,143 --> 00:41:46,311
Anyway...
839
00:41:52,518 --> 00:41:54,552
Agent Walker,
840
00:41:54,620 --> 00:41:56,154
you get everything
you need?
841
00:41:56,222 --> 00:41:57,522
Yeah.
842
00:42:11,437 --> 00:42:14,039
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