1
00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:08,480
There's no way out of this.
We're going to die here.

2
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,150
Pass me the vibro-cutters.

3
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,710
They're in my pocket.

4
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,230
Come on then, pass them to me.

5
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,470
In my other jacket. At home.

6
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,830
Why have you got have two jackets -
is one of them faulty?

7
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,630
Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters.
If I had the vibro-cutters,

8
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,830
I wouldn't be able to pass you
the vibro-cutters.

9
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,950
We're going to starve
to death out here.

10
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,670
Of course we won't starve.

11
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,400
The sand piranhas will get us
long before that.

12
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,830
Hiya. Sorry I'm late.

13
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,070
You're not, but you are brown,
you're very brown.

14
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,150
~ You weren't that brown this morning.
~ Sunbed. I'll get 'em in. Usual?

15
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,070
Fish people.

16
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,590
What are they like?

17
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,320
Fish. And people. Come and see.

18
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,390
~ How's you?
~ Evening. Nice frock.

19
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,480
~ It's a bit wet.
~ Freak shower.

20
00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,350
Is that seaweed?

21
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,840
I said freak.

22
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,670
~ How much further? ~ TARDIS has got
to be round this corner.

23
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,870
~ I hate soldiers.
Don't you hate soldiers? ~ Yeah.

24
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,520
Just keep running!

25
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,640
~ Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya.
~ Morning. Ready to run?

26
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,870
I can't keep doing this.
I can't do it.

27
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,560
Yes, I can, I can do it,
of course I can do it.

28
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,160
I've got it all under control.

29
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,470
So, where we off to?

30
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,440
Clara, you... You look lovely today.
Have you had a wash?

31
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,790
~ Why are you being nice?
~ Because it works on you.

32
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,790
Listen, I'm sorry but there's going
to be no trip today.

33
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,390
I'm sorry. Er, I've got to do
a thing. It might take a while.

34
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,390
~ What thing? ~ Just a thing.

35
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,590
You're being mysterious,
and do you know what means?

36
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,070
I'm a man of mystery.

37
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,430
Hmm. It means that you are
a very clever man

38
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,190
making the mistake,
common to very clever people,

39
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,750
of assuming that
everybody else is stupid.

40
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,870
Where are you going?

41
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,870
Undercover. Deep cover.

42
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,310
~ Can you do deep cover?
~ What do you mean? ~ Have you seen you?

43
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,710
Of course I can do deep cover!

44
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,400
Where? The Magic Circle?

45
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,790
I'll see you when I see you.

46
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:22,880
When's that?

47
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,880
When I see you.

48
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,280
Hmm...

49
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,510
Hmm... I'll be sure to have a wash.

50
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,920
Excellent.
I was meaning to bring it up.

51
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,960
You lot! Not here...over there.

52
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,110
Morning, Mr Pink.

53
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,070
Morning, Courtney.
And good morning, Miss Oswald.

54
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,870
Morning, Mr Pink.

55
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,310
~ Do they know?
~ Possibly - they're children.

56
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,430
It's like they've got
minds of their own. Are you OK?

57
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,310
Yeah, course I'm OK.
Why wouldn't I be OK?

58
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,670
~ I dunno. Every time I see you,
it's like you're... ~ What?

59
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,870
In a rush. In a state.

60
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,710
In a space helmet, one time.

61
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,030
Sorry, er, I've had a...thing

62
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,950
and, er, the thing's gone
so I'm all yours.

63
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,710
~ What thing? What's gone? ~ Nothing.

64
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,910
It's like you're trying
to be mysterious.

65
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,400
I'm not stupid, you know.

66
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,110
The next few days
are all about you. I promise.

67
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:52,190
Which means, Jo, you'll have to
cover for 8/4M in L3.

68
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,870
Hold on, there is
just one more thing.

69
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,870
Atif's off sick,
so we've got a newbie,

70
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,190
I did ask him to come along.

71
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,320
Ah, here he is.

72
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,470
I'm the new caretaker. John Smith.

73
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,070
Welcome to Coal Hill, Mr Smith.

74
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,950
Thanks.
Yes, John Smith's the name.

75
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,840
But, you know, here's a thing,
most people just call me the Doctor.

76
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,830
So, if anybody needs me,
just, you know, give me a shout.

77
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:03,150
I'll be in the storeroom
just getting the lie of the land.

78
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,510
Yes, no-one's taking
any notice at all.

79
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,310
Absolutely good news because
it means I must be coming across

80
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,310
just as an absolutely boring
human being like you.

81
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,400
Deep cover. Deep cover.

82
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,070
~ Do you know him? ~ Know who?

83
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,470
~ The caretaker, Smith. "The Doctor."
~ Never seen him before in my life.

84
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,310
Bit intense looking.
Did you see those eyebrows?

85
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,550
Did he wink at you?

86
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,710
No, I think that was just
a sort of general wink.

87
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,070
He winked at everybody.
It was a general welcoming wink.

88
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,070
Ah, I have, erm, left some marking.

89
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,680
Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop.
Catch you in a bit. Excuse me.

90
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,350
~ So, you recognised me, then.
~ You're wearing a different coat.

91
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:50,350
~ But you saw straight through that.
~ Deep cover in my school? Why?

92
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,270
Where's Atif,
what have you done with him?

93
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,710
He's fine, hypnotised,
he thinks he's got the 'flu.

94
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,870
Also a flying car and three wives.
It's going to be a rude awakening.

95
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:01,790
Is it aliens? Oh, my God, is that
why you're here? Are there aliens?

96
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:06,230
~ It's assembly, you better get going.
Go and worship something.
~ Are there aliens in this school?

97
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,430
Listen, it's lovely talking to you,
but I've really got to get on.

98
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:13,030
~ I'm a caretaker now.
Look, I've got a brush. ~ Doctor,
is there an alien in this school?

99
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,470
Yes. Me. Now, go.

100
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,830
The walls need sponging
and there's a sinister puddle.

101
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,070
You can't do this.

102
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,150
You cannot pass yourself off
as a real person among actual people.

103
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,470
I lived among otters
once for a month.

104
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,790
Well, I sulked. River and I,
we had this big fight...

105
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:32,000
~ Human beings are not otters!
~ Exactly, it'll be even easier.

106
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:37,680
One question.
And you will answer this question.

107
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,350
Are the kids safe?

108
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,750
No. Nobody is safe.

109
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:47,470
But soon the answer will be
yes, everybody is safe,

110
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,950
if you let me get on. Now...

111
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,430
pretend you don't know me,
stay out of my way.

112
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,310
The less you know, the better.
I'll explain it all later.

113
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,550
~ Go and sing with the otters.
~ I hate you.

114
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,840
That's fine,
that's a perfectly normal reaction.

115
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,150
Basically, you've to get
that guy on the block

116
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,430
and stop that other one
shooting him. It's so sick.

117
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,470
I-I got that guy.
That was, like, six months ago.

118
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,230
~ You actually have to flick it
that way. ~ Nah, but I'm saying...

119
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,440
You Coal Hill kids?

120
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,110
~ Yes, so what if we are?
~ Then get to Coal Hill.

121
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,470
We've got a free period, mate.

122
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,950
You want me to take your names?

123
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,080
Come on.

124
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,040
This is unfair, mate.

125
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:36,960
Always come in threes.

126
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,800
Oi! I know you're in there.

127
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,400
Hello? I'm a police officer.

128
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,920
There's no point hiding.

129
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,760
Do you hear me?

130
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,630
Come on, kiddo.

131
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,830
Five-stop-intruder.
Five-stop-intruder.

132
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,590
Turn your game off,
it's time for school.

133
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,160
Come on! Stop messing about!

134
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,590
Problem-solution-DESTROY.

135
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,670
..though unheard by Lydia,
was caught by Elizabeth,

136
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,440
and as it assured
her that Darcy was...

137
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,470
~ You all right, Miss Oswald?
~ Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on.

138
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:55,950
Every feeling of displeasure
against the former
was so sharpened...

139
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,630
Can I help you, Mr Smith?

140
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,470
~ Wrong. ~ I'm sorry?

141
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:05,430
On the board. Wrong. Wrong.

142
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,510
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You don't do this.

143
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,910
You are the caretaker,
this is not what you do.

144
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,670
~ Just taking care. ~ Not your area!

145
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:16,270
Jane Austen wrote
Pride and Prejudice in 1796.

146
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,830
This is Mr Smith, the temporary
caretaker, and he's a bit confused.

147
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:25,550
Not in 1797, because she didn't
have the time. She was so busy...

148
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,630
Oh, I suppose she was your
bezzie mate, was she?

149
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,350
And you went on holidays together

150
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,390
and then you got kidnapped
by Boggons from space

151
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,360
and then you all formed
a band and met Buddy Holly.

152
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,670
No, I read the book.
There's a bio at the back.

153
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,720
Get down.

154
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,360
~ Boggons? ~ Go!

155
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,910
Right, that's it. Well done, Kelvin.
Get going.

156
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,350
See you all in a couple of days.
Thanks very much.

157
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,750
Miss, what about our homework?

158
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,720
Who asks for homework? Amateur.

159
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,030
~ Miss Oswald...
~ Hello, Tobias, can't really stop.

160
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,030
I'm in the football team
against Durrants on Thursday.

161
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,070
Sorry, but can I go early
from English Thursday afternoon?

162
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,110
Tobias, you can do whatever you want.

163
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,910
~ Clara, can I grab a quick word?
~ Actually, I, erm...

164
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,150
Two weeks Saturday, the fete,
can I put you down for tombola

165
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,110
and the raffle?
James H can't cover it now.

166
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,150
His wife's going into hospital.
Hip replacement. Constant agony.

167
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,510
Great.

168
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,390
No, awful. That's terrible. Awful.
I hope she'll be OK.

169
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,560
Erm, I'll do anything.
Anything. OK. Bye.

170
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,110
Miss Oswald, Katie Sharps says
I pulled her hair in Biology.

171
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,350
Courtney, you are big enough
to look after yourself.

172
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,750
Next class, jog on,
I need to talk to Mr Pink.

173
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,990
~ Ozzie loves the Squaddie.
~ What was that? ~ Nothing.

174
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,870
Of course, Danny Pink here
is your man, Mr Smith.

175
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,070
Five years' military experience,
sergeant, here and Afghan,

176
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,950
so electrics, boilers, if you need
a hand, give him a shout.

177
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,950
I-I've helped Atif with
a couple of things.

178
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,080
I'm sure I won't need you, Sergeant.
Fully qualified.

179
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,710
~ You best get back to your PE class.
~ Oh, I teach maths.

180
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,350
~ Do you? What, in emergencies?
~ No. I'm a maths teacher.

181
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,670
Yeah, he's a maths teacher...

182
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,390
Mohammed, put that down!

183
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,830
How does that work?
What if the kids have questions?

184
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,870
~ About what? ~ Maths.
~ I answer them. I'm a maths teacher.

185
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,270
But he said you were a soldier.

186
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,830
Yeah. I was a soldier,
now I'm a maths teacher.

187
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,190
But what about all the PE?

188
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,590
I don't teach PE.
I'm not a PE teacher.

189
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,510
Sorry, that seems very unlikely.

190
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:33,510
Er, excuse me. Mr Pink,
I think class 9M4 are waiting.

191
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,270
Yes, you better run along, Sergeant.

192
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,350
That ball isn't going to
kick itself, is it?

193
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,720
I-I'm not a PE teacher,
I'm a maths teacher.

194
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,350
Nope, sorry, no,
I can't retain that.

195
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,480
I've tried, it's just not going in.

196
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,070
So...Pink.
The name remind you of anything?

197
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,240
Yeah. The colour.

198
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,550
Colonel Orson Pink?

199
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,150
The guy we met
at the end of the universe.

200
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,750
Oh, yeah. OK, same name, doesn't
look anything like him though.

201
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:07,990
Looks very like him.

202
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,910
Does he? I don't know.
Who remembers a PE teacher?

203
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,000
Never mind.

204
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,390
What are you doing?
What...? What's in there?

205
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,070
So...is he here then?

206
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,230
Is who here?

207
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,950
The one you keep going on
serious dates with.

208
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,870
If he is, are you going to start
talking like a normal human being?

209
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,390
~ I promise I won't. I'm being nice.
~ Doctor...?

210
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,150
~ Clara. Got this period free, yes?
~ No. Yes.

211
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,680
~ Great. Shakespeare.
~ Sorry, what, Adrian?

212
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,400
Oh...I see.

213
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,790
~ You see what?
~ Nothing. Nothing at all.

214
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,230
Excuse me. We have to
talk about The Tempest,

215
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,590
in light of the changes
to the sixth form Shakespeare
module, blah-de-blah...

216
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,200
Yes. Sorry, of course.

217
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,510
Yes, yes, no, of course,
of course, yes.

218
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:57,910
Don't mind this old man.
You two kids just pop off together.

219
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,230
Why are you talking like an idiot?

220
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,760
I'm a caretaker, don't mind me.

221
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,350
What we have to get across, I feel,

222
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:11,390
is that fascinating enigma
of its...not-finishedness.

223
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,000
Mmm, yes, good point, Ade.

224
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,680
Oh, Clara.

225
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:35,640
What does that mean? Kids.
What's the matter with kids today?

226
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,110
Hey, I said you could play chess,

227
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,550
I did not say you could play
football on the chessboard.

228
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,430
Jack, Morgan, come on,
help me out, clear it up.

229
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,280
And one for luck.

230
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,070
OK. Now we're in business.

231
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:16,760
Let's see the lie of the land.
Time to see what's going on.

232
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,280
Hello?

233
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,080
Oi.

234
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,350
What are you doing?
Are you in there?

235
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,350
Mirror, mirror on the wall,

236
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,590
who's the most dangerous
of them all?

237
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,310
There's been a spillage in
Geography, I need some paper towels.

238
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,550
Can't you read?

239
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,110
Course I can read. Read what?

240
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,910
The door. It says, "Keep Out."

241
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,720
No, it says, "Go Away Humans."

242
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,030
Oh, so it does.

243
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,190
Never lose your temper
in the middle of a door sign.

244
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,590
What was you doing in there?
What's that box?

245
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,950
A caretaker's box.
Every caretaker has their own box.

246
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,230
It says, "Police".

247
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,950
Exactly, there's a policeman
in there, in case of emergencies

248
00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,990
and children.

249
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,430
~ Towels, there, g-g-go.
~ What was that green glow?

250
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,870
There was a green glow
coming from in there.

251
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,630
~ What was it? ~ Of course there was.

252
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,710
What's a policeman
without a death ray?

253
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,470
Oh, listen, there's the bell,
off you go.

254
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,510
~ Haven't you got shoplifting to do?
~ I'm going to tell the Headmaster.

255
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,910
Oh, yes, well, fine. Cut along,
you're running out of time.

256
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:20,750
~ For what? ~ Everything. Human beings
have incredibly short life spans.

257
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,870
Frankly, you should all be
in a permanent state of panic.

258
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,910
~ Tick tock, tick tock.
~ You're weird.

259
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,750
Yes, I am. What about you?

260
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,440
I'm a disruptive influence.

261
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,070
~ Good to meet you. ~ And you(!)

262
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,760
Now get lost. OK.

263
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,870
Hello, miss, love to the Squaddie.

264
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,990
Sorry, what did you say?

265
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,430
What was she doing in here?

266
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,430
Paper towels. Now, I imagine
you've many questions.

267
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,390
Fire away,
I won't answer any of them.

268
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,390
~ What were they like? ~ What were
who like? ~ The others before me.

269
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,150
Did they let you get away
with this kind of thing?

270
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,030
~ This school is in danger.
~ Well, it's lucky I'm here then.

271
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,550
~ From you. ~ Me? ~ You wouldn't be here if
there wasn't an alien threat nearby.

272
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,510
Your strategy for dealing with it
involves endangering this school.

273
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,910
~ You don't know that.
~ I don't know anything because
you haven't told me anything,

274
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:14,400
which means I wouldn't approve,
which means you are
endangering this school.

275
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,870
What's that?

276
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,350
It's a scanner. I'm scanning.
Why do I keep you around?

277
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:25,470
Because the alternative would be
developing a conscience of your own.
Scanning for what?

278
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,910
Any alien technology in this
vicinity should show up.

279
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,190
I used to have a teacher
exactly like you once.

280
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,880
You still do. Pay attention.

281
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,710
What the hell is it?!

282
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,910
A Skovox Blitzer,

283
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,950
one of the deadliest
killing machines ever created.

284
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,670
Probably homed in here
because of artron emissions.

285
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,910
You've had enough of them
in this area over the years.

286
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,720
There's enough explosive
in its armoury to take out
the whole planet.

287
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,750
Then leave it alone.

288
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,990
Sooner or later it will
creep from its hidey-hole

289
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,790
and some military idiot
will try to attack it.

290
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,200
The world is full of PE teachers.

291
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:11,790
So, your insanely dangerous plan is?

292
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,110
A new watch.
Tiny bit disappointed.

293
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,040
This is a very special watch.

294
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,080
Doctor?

295
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:29,280
Oi! Did you just flick my nose?

296
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,270
You're invisible.
Oh, my God, that's incredible!

297
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,190
Correct. I am invisible
and I am incredible.

298
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:42,590
~ It's simply a matter of reversing
light waves. Hang on, I'm coming
back. ~ All right, where are you?

299
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,430
So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff
of non-threatening alien tech,

300
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,510
I lead it back here, but I don't
want it to scan me, hence invisible.

301
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,150
So you're leading the thing
here? To a school? My school?

302
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,950
"MY school"? Oh, that is telling.

303
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,390
This is the only suitably
empty place in the area.

304
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,630
I've set up a circle of time mines
around the school.

305
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,750
Chronodyne generators.
Bit unstable.

306
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,270
I switch them on, the Blitzer gets
sucked into a big old time vortex,

307
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,070
billions of years into the future.
Dead easy. Tiny bit boring.

308
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,910
~ I'll need a book and a sandwich.
~ And me. You're not doing this alone.

309
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,670
I don't need you this time.
I'll see you tomorrow.

310
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:21,070
We'll go somewhere nice.
Ancient Egypt. Crocodilopolis.

311
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,230
They worship a big crocodile there,
so the name is a useful coincidence.

312
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,400
Go and canoodle with your boyfriend.

313
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,070
Come on. I wasn't born yesterday,
far from it.

314
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,590
You did recognise him.

315
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,390
Possibly reminded me of a certain
dashing young time traveller.

316
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,910
Of course you recognised him.

317
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:47,470
Sorry. Stupid.
I-I underestimated you.

318
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,430
~ Easily done, there's a lot
to estimate. ~ And you, you like him?

319
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,270
Yes, I like him. Very, very much.

320
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,960
Go home and canoodle.
Doctor's orders. Come on.

321
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,750
~ Just this once, I'm doing
what I'm told. ~ Oh, sing hosanna.

322
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,160
So easy.

323
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:17,790
Miss Oswald.

324
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,950
~ Ah, Mr... Mr Pink.
~ Still on for tonight?

325
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,630
Cos you had your
"I'm about to cancel" frown on.

326
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,990
There's a specific frown?

327
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,470
And I was going to say, it's OK,
I might have a thing, so...

328
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,600
A thing?

329
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,750
~ Tomorrow instead?
~ Tomorrow's parents' evening.

330
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,190
Not all evening.

331
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,720
No. Not all evening.

332
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,710
What do you think of him?

333
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,350
Er, who? The caretaker?

334
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,750
Where did he come from?
What was he before?

335
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,270
He doesn't seem like a caretaker.

336
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,560
Well, he speaks very highly of you.

337
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,360
Anyway. Good night, Miss Oswald.

338
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,560
Good night...Mr Pink.

339
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,600
And we're off.

340
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,600
Home, sweet home.

341
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,520
Canoodling cancelled,
if you need a hand...

342
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,510
Doctor?

343
00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,840
You invisible?

344
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,470
I am so going to confiscate
that watch.

345
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,280
Where are you, my sleeping beauty?

346
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,800
Gotcha! Let's dance!

347
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,910
Doctor?

348
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,800
Where are you?

349
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:27,880
Hello?

350
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,590
Nine-stop-query-rescan.

351
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,640
Target-reacquired-success-success.

352
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,550
Come on, come on.

353
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,960
Gangway!

354
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,400
Not far now. Come on.

355
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,110
Nine-stop-parsing-data-pursue.

356
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,240
Bingo.

357
00:21:58,560 --> 00:21:59,680
Target-reacquired.

358
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,200
Hello?

359
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:14,350
What? Red? Red. No. No-no-no!

360
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,190
Range-one-point-four-nine-scan
complete-problem-problem.

361
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:23,350
Listen. I'm unarmed.
I'm peaceful. Do you understand?

362
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,510
I-I know that you shouldn't be
on this planet

363
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,150
but I can help you with that. I...

364
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,270
Problem-solution-DESTROY.

365
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,390
I want a word with you.

366
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,960
~ Get back!
~ Problem-solution-DESTROY.

367
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,560
Get away from me!

368
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,630
Temporal-disrupt.

369
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,910
Warning-warning. Temporal-failure.

370
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,190
Doctor, stop!

371
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,870
Doctor!

372
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,280
Warning-system-failure.
Abort. Abort.

373
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:13,400
Oh, oh, well done, PE,
brilliant work(!)

374
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,350
"What's this?
A chronodyne generator?

375
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,750
"I'll just deactivate that, shall I?

376
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,590
"I've got a swimming certificate
so that qualifies me

377
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,150
"to meddle with higher technology.

378
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,310
"Never mind that some people are
actually trying to save the planet.

379
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:31,790
"Oh, no. There's only room
in my head for cross-country
and the offside rule."

380
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,790
~ Danny, what are you doing here?
~ I was checking up on him.

381
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,720
He's been up to something, fiddling
with the electric, but what the...?!

382
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,000
No. What...?

383
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,990
Did you see that thing?
Tell me you saw that thing.

384
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,670
I saw the thing, yeah. Doctor, are we
safe, is the planet safe? It's gone?

385
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,710
Yes, yes, yes, yes, for the moment.
But the thing is, you see,

386
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,350
the chronodyne generators
have to be precisely aligned
to generate the vortex,

387
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,430
but the sergeant here,
he went and moved one.

388
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,640
But the chronodyne worked, it's gone.

389
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,590
But not far enough.

390
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,590
The vortex will open here again,
but not in a billion years.

391
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,030
Then when?

392
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,670
Er, 74 hours. Three days.

393
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:17,670
Three days to think of something new
because now it knows what to expect,

394
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:23,800
now it's scanned me and will kill
me on sight, thanks to PE here.

395
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,070
Clara, why are you talking
to him like that?

396
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:33,710
Why are you using words
like chronodyne?

397
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,360
Was that thing a space thing?

398
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,320
Oh, my God, you're from space.

399
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,600
You're a spacewoman.
You said you were from Blackpool.

400
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,150
It's a play! For the summer fete.

401
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,590
~ It's a what? ~ Yes, it's a play.
Shut up, it is a play.

402
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,750
We are rehearsing a play.
Sh! Sh! Sh! A surprise play!

403
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,430
And, erm, you see, the vortex thing
is-is a lighting effect.

404
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,510
Very clever.

405
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:12,430
And that thing is-is one of the kids.
In fancy dress.

406
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,870
Really...really good fancy dress.

407
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,230
How stupid do you think I am?

408
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,510
I'm willing to put a number on it.

409
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:21,960
I'm not a moron, Clara.

410
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,920
And he's not the caretaker.

411
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,670
He's...your dad.

412
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,830
Your space dad.

413
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,510
Oh...genius.

414
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:39,510
That is really, really
brilliant reasoning.

415
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,430
How can you think I'm her dad when
we both look exactly the same age?

416
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,550
~ We do not look the same age.
~ I was being kind.

417
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,310
~ Right, I'll hypnotise him,
I'll erase his memory. ~ Doctor, stop!

418
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,510
~ Tiny brain, won't take a moment.
~ He's my boyfriend.

419
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,550
Well, I'll try not to
erase the whole thing.
I'll leave the bits that...

420
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,390
He's my boyfriend. I thought
you'd figured this out.

421
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,430
~ Him? ~ Yes, him.
~ No, he's not.

422
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:02,110
~ Yes, he is. ~ Yes, I am.
~ But he's a PE teacher.

423
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,790
You wouldn't go out
with a PE teacher.

424
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,550
It's a mistake.
You've made a boyfriend error.

425
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,070
I am not a PE teacher.
I am a maths teacher!

426
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,310
You're a soldier.
Why would you go out with a soldier?

427
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:14,120
~ Why not get a dog or a big plant?
~ Because I love him!

428
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,990
Why would you say that?
Is this part of the surprise play?

429
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,150
There is no surprise play.

430
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,150
Oh, it's a roller coaster
with you tonight, isn't it?

431
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,310
What about the handsome one
with the bow tie?

432
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,670
Adrian? No. He's just a friend
and not my type.

433
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,190
Clara, are you going to
explain any of this?

434
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:39,880
Who is this guy?

435
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,040
The Doctor is...

436
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:51,790
~ Go on. ~ Yes, explain. Who is he?
Why have you never mentioned him?

437
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,000
Because...he's an alien.

438
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,400
~ Are you an alien?
~ No-no-no, I'm still from Blackpool.

439
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,110
Me and the Doctor,
we travel through time and space.

440
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,550
Exhibit A.

441
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:14,990
It's called a TARDIS, but it's
disguised as an old police phone box.

442
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,350
(It's bigger on the inside.)

443
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,080
And it's bigger on the inside
than the outside.

444
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:21,920
Voila.

445
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,840
And we travel the universe in it.

446
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,470
What about that thing?
Did you bring that here?

447
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,590
No, I'm going to protect you
from that thing.

448
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,510
You said it was coming back.

449
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,870
Yes, it is coming back.
Thanks to you.

450
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,470
This is a school.
We have to evacuate, call the Army.

451
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,350
And that is the most dangerous
thing right there.

452
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:02,230
~ Are you sure hypnotising
is not on the menu? ~ Yes.

453
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,590
We need to get help.
This is an emergency.

454
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,750
Take him away, shut him up,
shut him down, up or down,
it doesn't matter to me.

455
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,230
~ I've got a lot of work to do. Again.
~ Will you be OK?

456
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:16,710
Why wouldn't I be OK? I was fine
till you two blundered in.

457
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,110
Am I just being ignored?

458
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,310
Come on, Danny.
It's all right, it's all fine.

459
00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:25,510
You'll be OK.
Let's get those legs moving...

460
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,070
that's it, down those stairs.
Yep, that's it.

461
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:31,350
This can all be explained
and everything will be fine.

462
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,350
And when this is all over,
you can finish the job.

463
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,710
How do you mean?

464
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:41,160
Well, you've explained me to him.
You haven't explained him to me.

465
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,600
What do you think?

466
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,640
Say something.

467
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:11,680
So...there's an alien,
who used to look like Adrian.

468
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,510
Then he turned
into a Scottish caretaker

469
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,470
and every now and then, when I'm not
looking, you elope with him.

470
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:23,750
~ I don't elope.
~ Do you love him? ~ No.

471
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,080
Really had enough of the lies.

472
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,150
~ Not in that way.
~ What other way is there?

473
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,150
~ You know what I mean.
~ I don't know what you mean.

474
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,240
I know what you tell me,
which isn't always the truth.

475
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,920
~ Danny... ~ Why do you do it?

476
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,680
Why do you fly off in the box
with him?

477
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,520
The truth, please, just this once.

478
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,280
Because...it's amazing.

479
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,880
Because...I see wonders.

480
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,520
OK.

481
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,480
What are you thinking?

482
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,280
That's a good question.

483
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,510
It's funny, you only really know
what someone thinks of you,

484
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,680
when you know what lies
they've told you.

485
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:33,910
You say you've seen wonders,
you've seen amazing things,

486
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,160
and you kept them secret.

487
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,080
From me.

488
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,640
So, what do you think of me, Clara?

489
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,390
~ Please, tell me how I fix this.
~ I just want to know who you are.

490
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,680
You know who I am.

491
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:56,760
When you're with him.
When you're with the Doctor.

492
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,190
OK, I think we've just got time
before parents' evening.

493
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,670
An invisibility watch?
Not even a ring.

494
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,710
Press the button on the side,
you're invisible.

495
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,030
You'll see me with the Doctor,
the other me.

496
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,280
The exactly the same other me. OK?

497
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,440
Afternoon.
Thanks for keeping out of my way.

498
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,430
You've not brought Dave with you,
I hope.

499
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,080
His name's Danny. And no, I haven't.

500
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:43,030
I've explained it all to him. He gets
it, he took it all really well.

501
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,400
Pass me that synestic.

502
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,830
So, when the Blitzer comes back,
are you going to catch him with that?

503
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,030
It'll be a long, fiddly job. It's
going to take me at least 24 hours.

504
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,830
Even longer if people keep talking
to me, so do keep going.

505
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:02,710
If it comes back Thursday night,
are you sure about that?
Cos you said chronodyne is unstable.

506
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,480
If you want bother someone,
go and bother PE.

507
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:07,920
He's a maths teacher.

508
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,720
~ That's a shame, I like maths.
~ Not a soldier.

509
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:19,160
Interesting.

510
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,510
What is?

511
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,070
I'm bored.

512
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:25,950
Let's go somewhere fun,
what do you say?

513
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,910
Do you want to see the Thames
frozen over? Oh, those frost fairs.

514
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,750
You can't. The Skovox thing.

515
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,230
It's a time machine.
We can get back straightaway,
like we always do on your dates.

516
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,510
Just make sure you don't
get yourself a tan or anything,
or lose a limb.

517
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,150
I don't think we should,
not this time.

518
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,750
You've never said no before.
Not even in the middle of dinner.

519
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,630
Remember you had to eat two meals
in a row?

520
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,590
I just think,
with the school in danger...

521
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,910
~ Danny! Why are you...?
~ He already knows I'm here.

522
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,870
That's why he's talking like that.
He's being clever.

523
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,950
Now you mention it,
being a Time Lord,

524
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,470
I can feel a light-shield aura
when it's right next to me.

525
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,190
"Time Lord"! Might have known.

526
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,430
Might have known WHAT?

527
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,110
The accent's good, but you can
always spot the aristocracy.

528
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,470
~ It's in the...attitude. ~ Danny...

529
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,270
Now, Time Lords,
do you salute those?

530
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,910
~ Definitely not. ~ Sir!

531
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,870
And you do not call me sir.

532
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:17,750
As you wish, sir. Absolutely, sir.

533
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,710
~ And you can get out of my TARDIS!
~ Immediately, sir.

534
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,710
Doctor, this is stupid,
this is unfair!

535
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:27,950
One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier,
guilty as charged. You see him?

536
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,950
~ He's an officer.
~ I am not an officer!

537
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,030
I'm the one who carries you
out of the fire.

538
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,190
~ He's the one who lights it.
~ Out. Now.

539
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,960
~ Right away, sir? Straight now? ~ Yes.
~ Am I dismissed? ~ Yes, you are!

540
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,790
That's him. Look at him, right now.

541
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,720
That's who he is.

542
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,800
On balance,
I think that went quite well.

543
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,280
Danny...it's not time to go home yet.
It's parents' evening.

544
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,750
Humans.

545
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,150
I never learn.

546
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,560
What's in the box?

547
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,840
It's not really a policeman, is it?

548
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:27,120
You want to know what's in that box?
I'll tell you what's in that box.

549
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,990
It's a time machine,
it also travels in space,

550
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:36,110
and it usually contains a man who
just wants to get on with his work

551
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,390
of preventing the end of the world,

552
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,110
but keeps being interrupted
by boring little humans.

553
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:45,240
Cool. So, that's really a spaceship?

554
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,030
I'm serious,
I'm trying to save this planet.

555
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,670
End of the world for me tonight,
whatever you do. Parents' evening.

556
00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:55,470
Is your name really
Disruptive Influence?

557
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,470
Courtney Woods. Can I go in space?

558
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,030
I'll let you know.
I may have a vacancy.

559
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,520
But not right now.

560
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,920
Two days? I can do it.

561
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:20,230
Right, are we quorate?
Time to admit the hordes.

562
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,110
And look who's
at the front of the queue.

563
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,590
~ Who are they?
~ Courtney Woods' mum and dad.

564
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:30,040
~ Can someone else do them first?
~ No problem, Ade. I can cope with
anything tonight. ~ Oh, happy days(!)

565
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:08,190
No, no, no. No, no, no, no!

566
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:12,550
I would say yes, I'm afraid Courtney
is a disruptive influence.

567
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,430
Yeah, but last year you said
she was a VERY disruptive influence.

568
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,920
So, I suppose that counts
as an improvement.

569
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,990
Excuse me, I think
the caretaker wants me.

570
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,710
Sorry, Mrs Christodolou,
I think the caretaker wants me too.

571
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,150
What about my Angelina?

572
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,630
Yeah, she's great, yeah,
a really great girl, A-plus,

573
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,510
ten out of ten,
top of the class. Sorry.

574
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,520
Although, actually,
handwriting could be better.

575
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,790
I'm sure they'll be
back in a moment.

576
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,670
Looks like our Courtney
was right about those two.

577
00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,430
~ What's happening?
~ Clara, the vortex is opening.

578
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,070
~ You said Thursday night.
Hall, quick. ~ PE, shut up.

579
00:36:58,120 --> 00:36:59,830
Clara, it'll scan the area,

580
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,230
if it gets to parents' evening,
it'll kill them all.

581
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,310
We've got to evacuate.
SHUT UP!

582
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,840
Quickly. What do I do?

583
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,990
It'll be here any second.
Get to the hall.

584
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,790
Give it some squirts of
helicon energy, setting number 41,

585
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,230
no more than three seconds each,
random pulses.

586
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,310
Distract it, then you lead it away
from the hall, give me two minutes.

587
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,390
~ Then what?
~ Just run straight to the TARDIS.

588
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,630
But your gadget isn't ready yet.
24 hours, you said.

589
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,950
Yes, well, I've revised that down to
two minutes. Probably. Clara, go.

590
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,990
~ On my way.
~ You're using her like a decoy?

591
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,270
No, not like a decoy. As a decoy.

592
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,870
Don't they teach you anything
at stupid school?

593
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,790
Well, is there anything I can do?

594
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,230
Yes, yes, and this is very,
very important.

595
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:38,480
Leave us alone!

596
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:47,070
Disrupt-temporal-lock.
Disengaged-scan.

597
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,160
Here we go.

598
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:57,360
Incoming-stop-identified-HELICON-
HELICON-commence-retargeting.

599
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,520
Target-acquired. Destroy.

600
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,400
Target-within-range.

601
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,880
Problem-solution-DESTROY.

602
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,310
DESTROY.
Doctor, now, it's got to be now!

603
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,990
20 seconds.
DESTROY. DESTROY.

604
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:26,680
Doctor!

605
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,790
~ I'm at green, I'm at green.
~ You're green! ~ Stop! Skovox Blitzer!

606
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,390
Awaiting-orders.

607
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,870
Skovox-Artificer.
Analyse-stop-analyse-stop.

608
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:47,590
Superior-recognised-pattern-
110-orders-orders.

609
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:48,910
Why's it listening to you?

610
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,830
Listening to its superior.
This is a rough copy.

611
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:53,150
It thinks I'm its general.

612
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,430
Initiate-input.
Commence-shutdown-protocol.

613
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,270
No-conflict-conclusion?

614
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,280
Problem-solution.

615
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:02,950
Conclusion.

616
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,510
Final-input-code-missing.
Emergency-terminate.

617
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,790
Initiate-self-destruct-
in...nine...eight...

618
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,910
~ The input code. I forgot the final
input code. ~ ..seven-six-five...

619
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,870
~ Do it now!
~ I need time. Distract it, Clara!

620
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,070
Me, what can I do?

621
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,040
Oi, Skovox, over here.

622
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,760
Under-attack.

623
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:32,830
Artificer-Artificer-stop-confirm-
stop-override-final-input-code.

624
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,640
Code-accepted. Abort-self-destruct.

625
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,160
Orders-accepted-stop-stop-stop.

626
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,910
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, you were amazing!

627
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,070
Oh, my God, you were so brilliant.

628
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,240
Well, yeah, I was OK, wasn't I?

629
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,270
I was behind you
every step of the way.

630
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,120
Had to make sure you were safe.

631
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:57,520
You OK?

632
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:00,680
OK.

633
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,400
Just "OK"?

634
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,270
It's all right, it doesn't matter.

635
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,630
I don't need him to like me.

636
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,190
It doesn't matter
if he likes me or hates me.

637
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:14,310
I just need to do
exactly one thing for you.

638
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:17,080
Doctor, am I right?

639
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,590
Yes.

640
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,160
What? What one thing?

641
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,550
I need to be good enough for you.

642
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,320
That's why he's angry.
Just in case I'm not.

643
00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:39,760
He, er... He did just
save the whole world.

644
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,120
Yeah, yeah.

645
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,280
Good start.

646
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,070
Farewell, Skovox Blitzer.
Have a nice war.

647
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,160
So, Courtney Woods, impressed yet?

648
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,590
Actually, I'm feeling a bit ill.

649
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,790
Ah, it can be a bit overwhelming.

650
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:08,310
But look - the Olveron Cluster.

651
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:13,640
A million stars,
100 million inhabited planets.

652
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,440
Ah, yes, there has been a spillage.

653
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,550
So, what do you think now?

654
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,190
~ Of the Doctor? ~ Yeah.

655
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,040
See, he's all right, isn't he,
really? Underneath it all.

656
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,320
OK.
Tell me what you're thinking.

657
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:52,960
I know men like him.
I've served under them.

658
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,510
They push you
and make you stronger,

659
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,670
till you're doing things
you never thought you could.

660
00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:04,910
I saw you tonight,
you did exactly what he told you.

661
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,400
You weren't even scared.

662
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,320
And you should have been.

663
00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:15,880
I trust him.
He has never let me down.

664
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:20,680
Fine.

665
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,710
If he ever pushes you too far,
then I want you to tell me,

666
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,070
because I know what that's like.

667
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,150
You'll tell me
if that happens, yeah?

668
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,990
Yeah, it's a deal.

669
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,840
~ No. It's a promise.
~ OK. I promise.

670
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,910
~ If you break that promise, Clara,
we're finished. ~ Don't say that.

671
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,910
I am saying it because if you
if you don't tell me the truth,

672
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:49,990
I can't help you, and I could never
stand not being able to help you.

673
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,120
Are we clear?

674
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,040
Yes. We're clear.

675
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,230
It was mad, it was like in a film
or on the telly,

676
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,950
like with science fiction guns.

677
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,790
Skovox Blitzer, sounds like.
We've had a few in from that.

678
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,560
~ Wouldn't feel too bad.
~ If I hadn't...

679
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,440
If I hadn't...

680
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,110
Hang on.
That doesn't make sense.

681
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,430
Makes perfect sense to me.

682
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:36,190
How did I escape?
I don't remember how I got away.

683
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:40,800
Well, I was coming to that. I'm
afraid you really rather didn't.

684
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,950
Then how did I get here?

685
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,270
Well...big question.

686
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,350
Where am I?

687
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,150
What name would you like?
There's a range. The afterlife.

688
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,000
The Promised Land.
I'm partial to the Nethersphere.

689
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,320
My God!

690
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:15,560
Sorry, she's a bit busy today.

691
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,000
So...any questions?

692
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,270
Hello, Earth.
We have a terrible decision to make.

693
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:28,510
An innocent life versus
the future of all mankind.

694
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:32,710
Whatever future humanity might have
depends on the choice made

695
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,190
right here, right now.

696
00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:36,800
Aaaarrgghh!

697
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:40,520
Decision made.

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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