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Percy Julian was one

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of the most famous scientists of his time.

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Oxygens and carbutrons,
that's molecules for you.

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Rosa Parks gets taken off to jail.

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She's like, oh, I was just tired.

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Aren't I not threatening, white people?

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I'm sorry I burped, but I'm not sorry!

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Joe Louis is against the ropes,

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and then [Bleep] Schmeling knocks him down,

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and he's like, oh, [Bleep],

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I shouldn't have been [Bleep] and golfing.

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I'm trying to pull my pants up, though.

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No.

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- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

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People are surprised when they come here,

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and they see what's actually here.

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You know, we have got all
sorts of history in Montgomery.

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We've got, like, civil rights,
civil war, I mean, everything.

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It's a nice place.

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People are welcoming and
generous and thoughtful,

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and everyone here tells
me, you're not from here.

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Montgomery, Alabama, is
the biggest little city

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in the world, as far
east of the Mississippi.

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And, of course, I'm [Bleep]-faced

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so... anything I say is like, yeah,

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he's [Bleep]-faced.

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What do you want to cheers to?

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Um, Alabama.

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Ooh.

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I put too much of that in the glass.

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It was a little much.

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Hello.

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Today we're going to
talk about Percy Julian,

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one of the greatest
scientists to ever live.

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Percy Julian was born in
Montgomery, Alabama, in 1899.

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So that meant he was growing up as a kid

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in Jim Crow Segregation Land.

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Even though it was a huge obstacle,

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he was able to escape into plants.

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That sounds so dumb when I say it.

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No, sounds great.

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He said, look at these plants.

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There's a whole laboratory
inside these things.

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I just want to unlock
all the healing qualities

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of all these plants and things.

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Little Percy decided, I
want to be a scientist.

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He got accepted to DePauw
University in Indiana.

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He thinks, this is gonna
be so much different

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than Montgomery, Alabama,
and all the segregation there.

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He gets there, black students
are banned from campus,

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uh, living on campus.

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He finally finds a fraternity

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that allows him to live in their basement

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in exchange for being their
butler, and they're like,

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can you make us some hot dogs?

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Yeah, I guess I'll make you some hot dogs.

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I'm only trying to [Bleep]
be a scientist here.

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We don't care. Can you make us a pizza?

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Yeah, I'll make you a pizza.

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I'm only [Bleep] trying
to get my goddamn degree.

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We don't care.

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But at that time, in the United States,

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no one would allow a black man to...

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get their PhD.

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So he goes to Vienna, Austria.

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He's like, this place is amazing.

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I mean, we're doing real work here, guys.

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Carbons and hydrogens,

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oxygens and carbutrons,

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and that's molecules for you.

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He writes home, and he says, this is...

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this place is amazing, and
I'm kind of a badass here.

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Like, ladies like me.

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That's all I'm gonna say.

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I'll say a little bit more.

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I've had sex with some people here,

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and they weren't all
racially racist and stuff.

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I don't want to get into too much detail.

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I've penetrated many women.

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All the best, Percy.

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Those letters would come
back to haunt him later.

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No.

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Yes.

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Percy's back in America,
and he's like, ah, yeah,

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I'm [Bleep] back from Vienna.

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I got my PhD. No big deal.

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Let's just keep doing some science, guys.

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And then his boss,

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the president at Howard University,

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is like, no, no, no.

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All those letters that you wrote

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about all those babes you
were hooking up with in Vienna?

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This is very embarrassing
to Howard University,

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so we need you to resign,
and Percy's like, what?

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These were personal letters!

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And he's like, there's a
lot of "opportunitities"...

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"opportunitities"?

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[Bleep] you guys, I guess.

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He's a man without a job,

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so he has nowhere to go.

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This guy William O'Brian...
who's a vice president of Glidden,

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a paint company... he's
like, this is absurd.

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This is crazy. This guy is a genius.

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I'm gonna hire this guy to
be the director of research

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in our laboratory.

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So Percy and his team were
studying soybeans in the lab.

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They're going, this molecule

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goes to this molecule, and then boom,

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and then we have this molecule
that's going to this molecule,

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and then boom.

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We're having a good time.

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So he's working all this stuff.

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So one time, Percy's in his lab.

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He found out there had been
an accident, and he was like,

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oh, [Bleep]. Oh, [Bleep].

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Some water got into
this 100,000-gallon tank

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of soybean juice.

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I'm in [Bleep] trouble.

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And he notices these crystals
on the side of the tub,

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and he realizes,

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I just made steroids from a soybean.

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At that time, they were getting
steroids from, like, horse piss.

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Everybody was like,

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whoa, Percy just made
progesterone out of a bean.

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He didn't even have to, like,
use a horse dick for that.

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There's only so many horse dicks.

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There is, like, a million soybeans,

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uh, per every one horse dick, okay?

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Percy starts making millions of dollars

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because of this.

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He's able to help millions of people,

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with things from arthritis,
glaucoma, birth control,

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and he was a role model

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to many other African-Americans after him.

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He created so much goddamn stuff,

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I can't even list all the stuff he created,

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because there's not
enough time on the show,

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but can I just, like...

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can you just scroll a list
of all the stuff he created?

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Yeah, we can...

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because that would be
the most efficient way.

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- Just while you're talking?
- I can't... I don't have...

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I can't,

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but I hope you're seeing the list

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of all the stuff he
created, because it's insane.

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It's, like, a lot of stuff.

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I didn't even know about that.

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Look at that.

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- That is [Bleep] awesome.
- And you got Mario?

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Oh, I got King Koopa too.

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Montgomery, Alabama,
is Super Mario Bros. 3,

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because you got cops all over...

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you know, you got... they're the goombas.

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You got... extra lives are your bars.

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And then you got Bowser,
who might be that hot chick

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you're trying to score with
at the end of the night,

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texting your buddy.

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And he's like, hey,
what are y'all two doing?

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Oh, we're not going out.

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Meanwhile, they're
sleeping with each other,

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so it just turns to Mario
Kart, and you're on rainbow road

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to her house, until I find out,

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is she, like...

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I've had that happen.

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We've all been there.

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There we go. Look at this.

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This is awesome.

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To Montgomery, Alabama.

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To Montgomery, Alabama, baby, 334.

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Drunk History, baby.

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It feels so great to have a lot of vodka.

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Feels really great.

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People aren't gonna tell
you that, but it's true.

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Hello.

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Today we're going to talk
about Claudette Colvin.

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Guess what.

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In Montgomery, Alabama, in 1955,

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a young black woman became the first person

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who was arrested for not giving up her seat

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to a white lady on the bus.

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That young woman's name
is Claudette Colvin.

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Claudette Colvin is

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a 15-year-old bespectacled teenager.

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Uh-oh, let me say it.

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Bespectacled teenager.

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It's a hard word, "bespectacled."

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She takes the bus home from school,

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so her friends are like, all right,

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we're having a fun trip to home.

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Uh-oh, a white lady.

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A white lady gets on the bus.

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The white lady's like,

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hey, you guys have to
move, because I'm white.

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Claudette's friends
leave, but Claudette stays,

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and is like, you know what, I paid my fare,

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the same as this white lady paid her fare.

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So Claudette's like, [Bleep] you.

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I'm [Bleep] sitting. Have a seat.

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White lady's like, I will not have a seat.

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The bus driver's like,
I'm gonna get the cops.

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So the cops are like, move.

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Claudette's like, I shall not be moved,

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and they drag her off the bus.

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The only thing she knows to do is to go,

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it's my constitutional right.

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And they're like, it's 1955,
and we don't have to do [Bleep],

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so [Bleep] you.

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Claudette's like, [Bleep] [Bleep] 1955.

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I'm sorry I burped, but I'm not sorry!

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So wait, what?

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So the N.A.A.C.P.

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is flooded with letters saying,

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Claudette Colvin is so
brave, she's wonderful.

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00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:19,002
And the person who reads these letters,

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the secretary of the
N.A.A.C.P., Rosa Parks.

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Rosa Parks goes to Claudette Colvin's house

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and is like, Claudette, you're the [Bleep].

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Claudette's like, I [Bleep] know.

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I'm the one who got my ass dragged to jail.

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And that's how they really
connect and become friends.

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So, whenever she's at
an N.A.A.C.P. meeting,

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she spends the night at Rosa Parks' house.

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And Rosa Parks is like,
you know what, you're great.

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Claudette Colvin is like, you're great.

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They really connect.

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Time passes, and E.D. Nixon,

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the president of their local
chapter of the N.A.A.C.P.,

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is like, we need to start a bus boycott,

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and this bus boycott
will start a revolution.

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We should use Claudette Colvin's arrest

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as a reason to boycott the buses.

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People will get behind her.

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But then they were like,

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oh, but not white people,
because she has darker skin,

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and we can't have a
15-year-old as the face

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of the anti-segregation movement,

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but we can have Rosa Parks
as the face of this movement.

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So it's at that time

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that Rosa Parks sits down in
the white section of the bus

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and gets taken off to jail,

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but she had to act like,
oh, I was just tired.

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Aren't I not threatening, white people?

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And then white people were
like, oh, she's just tired.

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We're eating this up.

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Okay.

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I'm just, like, hyper-aware that, like,

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this very moment could be on national TV.

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I'm [Bleep] like an
ass[Bleep] right now, okay.

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It's at this time that the N.A.A.C.P.

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Put a flier in the hand
of every black person

253
00:12:03,074 --> 00:12:05,275
in Montgomery, including Claudette Colvin.

254
00:12:05,277 --> 00:12:08,611
The flier says, please
don't ride the bus on Monday.

255
00:12:08,613 --> 00:12:11,447
We are boycotting the arrest of Rosa Parks.

256
00:12:11,449 --> 00:12:13,283
And then Claudette Colvin is like,

257
00:12:13,285 --> 00:12:15,618
I can't believe that I'm finding out

258
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:18,037
through a [Bleep] flier that Rosa Parks

259
00:12:18,039 --> 00:12:19,956
did exactly what I did.

260
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:21,341
I feel very hurt.

261
00:12:21,343 --> 00:12:24,377
Claudette Colvin is like, ouch.

262
00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:26,546
And at that same time, she
finds out she's pregnant.

263
00:12:26,548 --> 00:12:28,464
She's like, [Bleep].

264
00:12:28,466 --> 00:12:30,633
Her high school finds
out that she's pregnant,

265
00:12:30,635 --> 00:12:32,268
so she's kicked out of high school.

266
00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:34,220
She's like, [Bleep]. You
know what, [Bleep] this.

267
00:12:34,222 --> 00:12:37,307
I'm moving to Burning Man.

268
00:12:37,309 --> 00:12:38,891
Did I say Burning Man?

269
00:12:38,893 --> 00:12:41,444
I thought Burning Man,
while I said Birmingham.

270
00:12:41,446 --> 00:12:43,313
Birming... Burning Man?

271
00:12:43,315 --> 00:12:45,064
Now I can't say burning man.

272
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:49,152
Uh-oh, okay, I'm in a tailspin.

273
00:12:50,821 --> 00:12:55,158
The judge is like, segregation
is unconstitutional.

274
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,160
You're welcome,
Montgomery, [Bleep] Alabama.

275
00:12:57,162 --> 00:12:59,295
I ended segregation.

276
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:11,043
Rosa Parks, the bus
boycott, Martin Luther King.

277
00:13:11,045 --> 00:13:13,345
And how about Claudette Colvin?

278
00:13:13,347 --> 00:13:15,514
Claudette Colvin, I'll tell you.

279
00:13:15,516 --> 00:13:17,549
I'm the first person to tell you

280
00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:19,851
that I don't even know who she is.

281
00:13:19,853 --> 00:13:24,022
Where in the world was I? Mm...

282
00:13:24,024 --> 00:13:25,724
Well, um...

283
00:13:28,062 --> 00:13:29,478
At this time, the bus boycott

284
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,113
has been going on for far too long.

285
00:13:31,115 --> 00:13:34,316
Fred Gray, one of the
only two black lawyers

286
00:13:34,318 --> 00:13:37,402
in Montgomery, Alabama, goes
to Claudette Colvin's house,

287
00:13:37,404 --> 00:13:41,873
and he's like, let's sue
the city of Montgomery

288
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:45,961
for the fact that segregation
is unconstitutional.

289
00:13:45,963 --> 00:13:48,380
- Will you testify?
- She's like, absolutely.

290
00:13:48,382 --> 00:13:51,049
- Let me have this baby.
- So bam.

291
00:13:51,051 --> 00:13:54,636
She has this baby, and they
put some people on the stand,

292
00:13:54,638 --> 00:13:56,421
and Claudette is the star witness.

293
00:13:56,423 --> 00:13:58,640
She's like, Your Honor, I
have this, and I have that,

294
00:13:58,642 --> 00:14:03,512
and I hate [Bleep] segregation.

295
00:14:03,514 --> 00:14:08,266
The judge is like, segregation
is unconstitutional.

296
00:14:08,268 --> 00:14:10,852
They win the case, so she was like,

297
00:14:10,854 --> 00:14:13,238
you're welcome,
Montgomery, [Bleep] Alabama.

298
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,440
I ended segregation. Peace.

299
00:14:15,442 --> 00:14:18,610
I'm moving to New York to become a nurse.

300
00:14:18,612 --> 00:14:20,662
She moved to New York...

301
00:14:20,664 --> 00:14:22,998
I mean, okay.

302
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:28,253
Earlier I felt okay, and
then after that, I felt drunk,

303
00:14:28,255 --> 00:14:30,622
but then now, it's really drunk.

304
00:14:30,624 --> 00:14:33,508
Okay, 55 years later, a reporter finds her

305
00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:34,843
and is like, are you Claudette Colvin?

306
00:14:34,845 --> 00:14:36,712
Didn't you do the thing
that everyone kind of thinks

307
00:14:36,714 --> 00:14:38,346
Rosa Parks did, but she didn't, you did?

308
00:14:38,348 --> 00:14:40,682
And she's like, yes, it was me, it was me!

309
00:14:40,684 --> 00:14:42,968
And the reporter was
like, aren't you jealous

310
00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:46,855
of Rosa Parks and how
everyone celebrates her?

311
00:14:46,857 --> 00:14:50,475
And Claudette Colvin said,
I've made my peace with that.

312
00:14:50,477 --> 00:14:54,112
I'm just satisfied that my children can sit

313
00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:56,648
wherever they want on the bus.

314
00:14:56,650 --> 00:14:59,367
The end!

315
00:15:02,122 --> 00:15:04,039
Wow, well, you just crushed that.

316
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,373
Thank you.

317
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,993
It's my job right now to tell stories.

318
00:15:07,995 --> 00:15:12,631
How are you, cup?

319
00:15:15,835 --> 00:15:17,335
Boxing is very demanding.

320
00:15:17,337 --> 00:15:19,588
You have to get in great
condition for this sport.

321
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:21,339
Breathing kind of heavy over there.

322
00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:23,008
Puffing like a train.

323
00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:24,226
You okay? Oh, yeah.

324
00:15:24,228 --> 00:15:26,094
- All right.
- Psyching me out.

325
00:15:26,096 --> 00:15:27,896
Calisthenics is very important.

326
00:15:27,898 --> 00:15:29,481
Reverse!

327
00:15:29,483 --> 00:15:31,266
Glad I went to the bathroom. Oh!

328
00:15:31,268 --> 00:15:34,519
I got you. Come on, I got you. Two, three.

329
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:36,354
Catch 'em up, Kyle.

330
00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:38,740
Go ahead and go to work on him.

331
00:15:38,742 --> 00:15:40,525
Now, what am I aiming for? Am I really...

332
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:43,662
- am I boxing right now?
- Yeah, yes, you are.

333
00:15:43,664 --> 00:15:45,580
- All right, all right.
- There you go.

334
00:15:45,582 --> 00:15:48,450
There you go. Way to go.

335
00:15:48,452 --> 00:15:49,701
- Thank you, Kyle.
- Hey, man.

336
00:15:49,703 --> 00:15:51,369
- You're a great fighter, man.
- Appreciate it.

337
00:15:51,371 --> 00:15:53,205
Thanks for punching me in the face.

338
00:15:53,207 --> 00:15:55,457
If you're saying you're
drunk, just sip on that.

339
00:15:55,459 --> 00:15:59,094
You don't have to get all [Bleep] up.

340
00:15:59,096 --> 00:16:02,347
Just... okay.

341
00:16:02,349 --> 00:16:04,132
All right, Morgan Murphy.

342
00:16:06,553 --> 00:16:09,471
Hello, today we're going to talk about

343
00:16:09,473 --> 00:16:12,107
Joe Louis versus Max Schmeling.

344
00:16:12,109 --> 00:16:16,394
Big fights, America versus the Nazis.

345
00:16:16,396 --> 00:16:18,196
Let's do it.

346
00:16:18,198 --> 00:16:22,067
Joe Louis was a boxer from Alabama.

347
00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:25,403
He's upwardly coming,
and he had a rocking bod,

348
00:16:25,405 --> 00:16:27,789
and he's fighting this dude Max Schmeling.

349
00:16:27,791 --> 00:16:29,124
Max Schmeling lived in Germany.

350
00:16:29,126 --> 00:16:31,793
He was a German during
the time of the Nazis.

351
00:16:31,795 --> 00:16:33,411
Schmeling had won the
Heavyweight Championship

352
00:16:33,413 --> 00:16:37,165
in 1930, 'cause Jack
Sharkey hit him in the nuts

353
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,384
and got disqualified.

354
00:16:39,386 --> 00:16:41,920
So he basically won the
Heavyweight Championship

355
00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:43,839
of the world by getting hit in the nuts.

356
00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:46,258
Joe Louis' manager was
like, we're gonna take

357
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:49,311
this ex-champion, Schmeling,
throw him in front of Louis,

358
00:16:49,313 --> 00:16:50,428
Louis will pummel him.

359
00:16:50,430 --> 00:16:51,763
Joe Louis was like,

360
00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:53,932
I don't need to train for
this schmuck, you know?

361
00:16:53,934 --> 00:16:55,934
Instead of training, he was playing golf,

362
00:16:55,936 --> 00:16:58,270
and he had all these women
coming around and stuff.

363
00:16:58,272 --> 00:17:00,155
So he's [Bleep] and playing golf and stuff

364
00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:02,023
instead of training for his fight.

365
00:17:02,025 --> 00:17:05,610
Mmm.

366
00:17:05,612 --> 00:17:08,446
So the first fight was at Yankee Stadium.

367
00:17:08,448 --> 00:17:10,916
There's tens of thousands of people there,

368
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,250
and everyone just assumes

369
00:17:12,252 --> 00:17:15,253
Joe Louis is gonna kick
Max Schmeling's butt.

370
00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:17,923
Like, Hitler didn't even
want it advertised in Germany.

371
00:17:17,925 --> 00:17:19,958
Hitler was like, this guy's gonna lose.

372
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,427
We don't want anyone
to know about the fight.

373
00:17:22,429 --> 00:17:25,847
It was like, Joe was,
like, doing all right,

374
00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:30,051
and then Max Schmeling
just starts coming at him.

375
00:17:30,053 --> 00:17:33,221
He was like, boom, boom, boom.

376
00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:35,607
And then [Bleep] Schmeling knocks him down

377
00:17:35,609 --> 00:17:38,443
for the first time in his whole career.

378
00:17:38,445 --> 00:17:40,395
Joe Louis was like, oh, [Bleep].

379
00:17:40,397 --> 00:17:43,865
I shouldn't have been [Bleep] and golfing.

380
00:17:43,867 --> 00:17:47,569
And he loses.

381
00:17:47,571 --> 00:17:50,822
So Louis feels like, I'm not the real champ

382
00:17:50,824 --> 00:17:54,159
until I beat Max Schmeling, you know,

383
00:17:54,161 --> 00:17:56,661
'cause he beat me before, so I'm gonna...

384
00:17:56,663 --> 00:17:58,964
I'm... now, I want to beat him,

385
00:17:58,966 --> 00:18:01,800
and so they basically ended up deciding

386
00:18:01,802 --> 00:18:03,385
they were gonna fight again.

387
00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:05,837
And, uh, you know, he
was at the White House,

388
00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:07,923
and Roosevelt said, you know,

389
00:18:07,925 --> 00:18:10,558
we need these arms to beat the Nazis.

390
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,260
Are you gonna win? Or whatever.

391
00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:14,846
And he's like, yeah, I got to...

392
00:18:14,848 --> 00:18:18,683
I got to... I... I can't
do what I did before.

393
00:18:18,685 --> 00:18:22,237
I can't [Bleep] up and lose.

394
00:18:22,239 --> 00:18:24,322
I got to get my [Bleep] in shape.

395
00:18:24,324 --> 00:18:26,157
No women, no golf.

396
00:18:31,456 --> 00:18:33,690
I have gloves. Where are your gloves?

397
00:18:33,692 --> 00:18:38,028
Hold on. Will someone pull my pants up?

398
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:40,947
Joe Louis trains hard this
time. He doesn't play golf.

399
00:18:40,949 --> 00:18:43,867
He doesn't [Bleep] chicks. He just trains.

400
00:18:43,869 --> 00:18:47,537
And the second fight was at Yankee Stadium,

401
00:18:47,539 --> 00:18:51,091
and Hitler, like, was,
like, suddenly Mr. Cool.

402
00:18:51,093 --> 00:18:52,926
Like, all right, we're gonna win.

403
00:18:52,928 --> 00:18:54,427
Let's do this. Tell everybody.

404
00:18:54,429 --> 00:18:56,213
Let's party. Let's watch the fight.

405
00:18:56,215 --> 00:18:58,765
Everybody, you can be out until 3:00 A.M.

406
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:02,719
All the bars have to have
booze, so you can celebrate.

407
00:19:02,721 --> 00:19:07,774
And also, we will use the
prize money to build tanks,

408
00:19:07,776 --> 00:19:10,894
'cause he thought he was gonna win.

409
00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:16,616
Joe Louis was prepared, and he's just like,

410
00:19:16,618 --> 00:19:19,035
[bleep] one, two, one, two.

411
00:19:19,037 --> 00:19:22,038
And Hitler's like, uh-oh, spaghettios.

412
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,541
Don't let anybody hear this. Pull the plug.

413
00:19:24,543 --> 00:19:26,493
They, like, pulled it from German radio,

414
00:19:26,495 --> 00:19:27,911
'cause they knew what was gonna happen.

415
00:19:27,913 --> 00:19:30,914
Like, never mind, don't worry about it.

416
00:19:30,916 --> 00:19:32,582
Go do your thing.

417
00:19:32,584 --> 00:19:35,335
No Jews. Thank you, bye.

418
00:19:35,337 --> 00:19:39,256
- I don't like this idea.
- Just fight nicely.

419
00:19:39,258 --> 00:19:41,925
Delicate, one, delicate. Thank you.

420
00:19:43,095 --> 00:19:46,513
Joe Louis is pummeling Schmeling.

421
00:19:46,515 --> 00:19:50,483
Left, right. All right.

422
00:19:53,772 --> 00:19:57,407
Okay, okay, all right, all right, you win.

423
00:19:57,409 --> 00:20:01,862
Oh, no, no.

424
00:20:01,864 --> 00:20:04,748
You got me good.

425
00:20:08,836 --> 00:20:12,005
The greatest fight of all time.

426
00:20:12,007 --> 00:20:15,575
And the ref said, it's over.

427
00:20:15,576 --> 00:20:17,076
And Joe Louis won.

428
00:20:17,877 --> 00:20:18,667
America won.

429
00:20:19,668 --> 00:20:20,848
People in America were like,

430
00:20:21,129 --> 00:20:25,549
even me, an ass[Bleep] racist American, can

431
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:31,050
- realize we beat the Nazis.
- That's [Bleep] amazing! I love that guy.

432
00:20:33,551 --> 00:20:34,651
You won.

433
00:20:35,152 --> 00:20:35,950
I know.

434
00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:37,331
I'm trying to get up.

435
00:20:37,332 --> 00:20:39,764
Hold on. Thank you.

436
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:46,765
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