Gossip girl here,your one and only source
Into the scandalous lives manhattan's
I love you,Nate Archibald.
-always have,always will. - I love you,too.
- What is wrong with you?This is not who you are - I know who Blair and those girls are,
But I know who I am ,and I'm not gonna forget that just hang out with them
We are not supposed to talk,remember?
I can't help myself. I never should have let you,let me go.
I will not base my personal life on your preferences.
Dan is my boyfriend.
I Would rather be chuck's stepsister than dan's.
Lily,would you do me the honor of being my wife?
He proposed before we left,and I'm going to say yes.
Take care,Rufus.
How glad are you see our families merge,sis?
So glad that if you ever call me that again,
It'll be the last thing you ever say,Chuck
unless you want Ar nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me
In the back of a moving vehicle,
- I encourage patienced restraint. - Isn't there someone else that you can torture?
Ok,I know you're friends with Blair,
- But if you know something... - well,Blair is never really my friend.
- ...so, - So..yeah,there's something you should know.
- What a bitch. - Oh,my god. She is such a slut!
- I made a decision I was no condition to me - There is nothing to do with you,Blair.
It's over.
You held a certain fascination
When you were beautiful and untouched
I don't want you anymore,
- And I can't see why anyone else would. - What are you doing here?
- I was just leaving. - No,stay.
Consider yourself dethroned,queen b.
Jenny,if you walk away from me now I will ruin you.
How are you gonna do that?
- My whole life falling in part - stay and fight.
- We'll get through this together. - You promise?
Promise.
And who am I?
That's a secret i'll never tell.
You know you love me.
X.o.x.o.,gossip girl.
Cat?
Cat!
Ew.
Cat!
Cat.
You don't have a cat,Jenny.
My name is blair.
You don't have anyone.
But I'm Blair.
I'm Blair!
Miss. Blair. Miss. Blair.
. Blair.
Wakey,wakey,upper east siders.
Spring break is done,and I'm starved for the dish.
Were you sunning in capri or sinning in croatia?
Give me the deets.
Oh,what's happening?
You have bad dream,
And you're sleeping with your chocolates.
Oh,lady godiva,my only friend.
And has anyone spotted our ex-queen b.?
Where does the dethroned royalty
Vacation these days?
Club bed is over. First day back to school.
I can't,Dorota. I don't fell very well.
Serena come to get you soon.
Call her and cancel.
And cover my mirrors.
Let me in the morning from my former life.
Chuck,I'm serious!
Are you done yet? This is my bathroom!
It's late,
And not to mention disgusting.
Chuck!
What are you doing?
All right,ladies. My sister needs to shower.
Make room.
I'm just messoning with you.
- Can't believe you lit up my bathroom. - Well,if I lit up in mine,
In the folks would know it was me,sis.
Oh,okay. Let's get one thing straight
Our parents maybe insisting on blending our households,
But i am not your sister.
I do not share any of your DNA
Nor do i ever wish to.
Then I suggest you get a new hand towels.
Okay.
It's imperative that I bathe.
Can you just get out?
You know what? Fine. Just forget it.
Next year,we're doing spring break in Maldives.
- Skiing is too dangerous. - You broke your arm in the spa.
Oh,here,Hazel. Thanks for letting me borrow it.
- What is this? - The bracelet you lent me in aspen
Oh,yeah. You know you could've just kept it,
And I would've forgot i had it.
Girls,how excited are we?
Party tomorrow night for jenny at socialist !
It's gonna be my best birthday ever.
I heard the mojitos are amazing.
- Untill you get your moutharound a mini... - oh,I don't,um
It's a sandwich
Oh. Wardrobe,ladies?
Ferragamo clutch(TBD)
And whatever dress i buy today go with
Oh,what about you J?
-I've got some dresses on hold at bendels - There is an a.t.m.,Jenny
you said you want to hit it
You know,to pay penelope back for brunch?
Oh,uh,yeah. $120,right?
Ah,I don't feel like stopping.
You can get the next one.
What are you doing?
I'm hiding from my valet.
He wanted to put my socks on for me this morning.
- Your servants are very attentives - new latvian maid.
No. No,no,no,he should not meet brigita. He's 14.
- Avoid this person. - May I remind you,Serena,
- That you used to have a sense of humor? - No.
- Morning,father. - Hey.
- Morning,kids. - Morning.
-And how is Lily von bulow today? - Oh,I have a headache.
I haad a very frustrating conversation
Th the wedding planner this morning.
Oh,may I say aggravation becomes you?
You may,but I won't believe it.
So... First day back at school,huh?
Honey,you didn't,uh,want to shower?
I have to go meet Blair. Eric?
Go ahead. He'll take the limo.
As my best man,
I expect you to keep things smooth until the wedding.
Best man?
Uh,um,I'd be honored,sir.
To family.
I came straight from the airport
to take Jenny to school,and she's already gone?
- She slept at Hazel's last night. - Oh. Who's,uh,who's Hazel?
Her new friend,
The girl whose family she went with to Aspen.
Yeah,I was actually surprised you let her go
- and cancel on mom like that - Your mom was completely support of it.
Jenny was very well taken care of.
Spoke to her every day, twice from the private plane. - Private plane?
It's the best early birthday present
We could have given her. Oh, so you paid for it?
Well, I gave her pocket money.
Yeah, Jenny's happier than she's been in a long time
Hey, whenever you're done
with that "i'd doing things differently" look, two things...
One, I can't seem to nail Jenny down
on what she wants to do for actual birthday. - I'll get it out of her.
Good. And, uh, two--
What the hell are you still doing here?
Mm. Thank you.
At least you get to wake up from your nightmare.
I'm living with mine.
And the god I have plans with Dan tonight.
Finally,the return of some normalcy!
B, what are you doing?
Giving homeschooling some serious consideration.
Look, I know you think
Everyone's still talking about you,
But your 3-week-old-scandal is ancient news.
Did you even hear the dirt happened - Who should I heard it from? Dorota?
Well, after much concerted effort,
Ya finally made it into brody jenner's cell phone.
Ugh.
and Kati's dad
moved her entire family back to Israel. Yeah.
And cotatance's bad-girl-turned-good...
Serena Van Der Woodsen...
Moved in with Chuck Bass.
Yeah. So you're thinking
Is whole thing could have blown over by now?
Come on.
That, too.
Don't worry, B
The French revolution had cake.
Come on. Let's go.
The American revolution had tea.
But looks like the overthrow of Blair Waldorf,
Well...
Who said you need a silver spoon
to dole out just desserts?
Hey, Jenny.
Can i talk to you just for a second?
I'll meet you guys, okay?
Hey, so I may have told Blair
you told me the truth about heanand Chuck
And I'm sure she didn't react well to that.
But you don't know what you're dealing with here.
- I'm not scared of Blair - No, I'm not talking about...
I'm talking about...talking about your new circle.
I mean, they've been friends with Blair forever,
and look what they're doing to her.
When you fall out of line,
what do you think this gonna happen to you?
I won't fall out of line.
I'm not saying you're gonna...
It's just...
You're not like those girls, Jenny.
That's weird, Nate. Since they're my friends, you think we have some stuff in common
Okay.
Well, I will give you this...
You've got good name
Ok, I know this is hard for you B
But you can't let them beat you.
You're Blair Waldorf, remember?
Right. These are my steps,
and i'm not gonna relinquish them
without a fight, though it would be helpful
maybe there was one more person in our crowd.
Only old people and children and...
Ugh, there's Chuck
and a blond mini-Chuck.
He's trying to torture me.
- ...I can't believe it. - I know.
Does little J. actually think
she's anything but their lackey?
Hey.
Hi.
So since when does nate archibald have
much to say to Jenny humphrey, huh?
Why? You guys don't like him?
Penelope's only had a historic crush on him
since the 20th century.
Since you and Nate are so tight,
- Maybe you can broke that. - Yeah. Maybe.
- They what? - They're taking her out to dinner
for her birthday tomorrow night
Table service at Socialista.
So Jenny Humphrey is officially being inscribed on the a-list.
- Wait. How do you know this? - Because they invited me,
But I said no out of deference to you.
I just thought I could have dinner
with her and dan and the whole family.
How do you mean she get out of skate
Beause I'm nice. You should try it sometime.
Come on. Um,compliment me. Tell me my hair looks beautiful.
But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower?
B, I say this out of love,
But you're being a bitch
Which got dairy in your hair in the first place, okay?
Be nice and neutral, and things will swing back to normal.
You're the queen B, so just let nature take its course.
I'm going to Model UN, but we're dining tonight,right?
Butter,7:00, um, I don't know if i can go out again tonight.
Why? What are you doing? Do we have a reservation?
Yeah, I mean doesn't it take like
2 weeks get a table there? Not if they slipped me $100
Oh, and don't forget, J
You owe me.
Um...
You know, I've got a better idea.
What's she doing?
What does she think she's doing?
She's giving you the perfect opportunity for niceness.
- Come on. - No.
Yes
Serena, I know that you're doing something with Dan tonight
But, Blair, um, we're all going to butter,
and I was wondering if you wanted to join us? - She'd be delighted, yes, Butter!
Great.
Great!
Very nice.
Thank you.
#Who's there for you when you're call and alone?#
#The teenagers, teenagers#
well, are you always looked this good?
You look so good to me.
You look so good to me,
and you smell... Mmm,so clean.
Mm,you're not gonna tell me the Chuck shower story again,
- Are you? - No.
Good.
Dan.
Chuck, how are you?
Excellent. Enjoying having family around.
Can you just get it over with, Chuck?
Say whatever pervy thing you're gonna say and just leave?
The wedding caterer
is presenting a tasting to the family.
I was coming call you to dinner. - Okay,I'll take off then.
No need.
Already asked the staff to set a place for you.
I have to say I prefer the chestnut pappardelle.
Yeah,the foie gras is a bit rich.
U know, I'm, I'm, umm, slanting heavily towards
The venison fellow. It's fallow
Fallow. Fallow,exactly. Fallow
Oh,for me?
Thank you
Who's it from? I don't know...
but it says "open immediately"
I have to refrigerate it?It's not for me, I don't know
Oh,don't put your dirty package on the table
I had a dime for every time I heard that
That's enough,Chuck
Porn and handcuffs?
Really?
Oh,my. Woo
This is low,Chuck,even for you
What? I didn't send this
Excuse me.
Uh,could you...
Oh,yeah. My pleasure. Uh,it's not--that's not what I--
I didn't mean that
It's,uh...
It's trash. I'll throw it out
Spotted--blair waldorf,alone at Butter
I'm sorry,miss
But--it looks like your friends aren't coming
Humiliated--party of one
Can't you just picture her sitting there?
Every time memeone comes in the door...
"Ah... It's not them. Oh,no,not them."
Not going to the Butter
is so much better than going to the Butter
My new nanette lepore for jenny's birthday
Gorgeous
Wow
Right?
What's the birthday girl wearing?
Oh,I'm still deciding between two dresses at bergdorf's
I thought you said bendel's
Bendel's. Right.
Oh,it's my dad.
Is there you wearing your black shello?
Which one? You know,I never wear the same thing twice
Mommy taught me well. Hey,dad
You missed dinner,kiddo. Oh,yeah,um,I'm studying at hazel's
And I guessed I lost track of time. Um,I'm not mad
I just feel like I haven't seen you in a while
We haven't even discussed your birthday. I was gonna do something with my friends...
Oh. That's great,honey
But since I have nothing to wear
I don't think that's happening anymore
Well,if you want to be with your friends
We can do the family thing over the weekend
Sweetheart?
Uh,yeah. I'll be home soon,dad
Okay. Bye
Hello? Hi
Oh,no check,honey. The drink's on us,
Unless you want something else?
Yes.
Another bellini,
This seared squab
And a bus person of separated tables
Please
One may be the loneliest number...
Information. What city and state,please?
Brooklyn. I think that's in New York
But sometimes only the lonely can play
Wake up,little Jenny. The bitch is back
I thought you said you didn't have anything else
Well,I found some stuff in the back of my closet
hmm. Do you want to go with cash again
Or do you want to buy your sewing machine back?
Neither. I want that dress
Honey,this is $1,200
Um,this one's... quite lovely
Ah,well,that's more my color
I'd say we take the jet to croatia
Where young Eric here
can exploit the lesser age of consent
Am I invited to the Bachelor party? Brother,please
Then head west to monte carlo
For some all-night cards at metropole
And swing by giza
Just to watch the sun come up over the Pyramids
What do you think,father? I think we're here
Uh,see you at home,Bart
Chuck will catch up in a minute
You almost ruined things between me and Lily once before
I'm not gonna let that happen again
What are you talking about? I'm talking about the focus stunt you pulled at dinner
I didn't send Serena that package
And quite frankly
Her violated virgin Mary act is getting pretty old
I thought making you my best man would help
What is that supposed to mean?
Inspire you to value my happiness
Over your own childish agenda
Things seem to be working out for you at that club Victrola
I'm thinking you might like me to invest more in the place
So you can have more control?
In exchange for good behavior,of course.
You're bribing me?
So we have a deal then?
Hey,why aren't you school? I'm taking the morning off
Volunteering to help those less fortunate than myself.
Wow. You're in a good mood.
Butter with the girls must have gone well last night?
I didn't go,actually
why not? I think she should work a little harder for my forgiveness
Hey,Dan's not hanging out in brooklyn again this morning
He's with you at school,right? No,not yet,but he'll be here soon. Why?
Just tell him I say hi
Okay
Hi
Jenny's dad?
We met briefly at thanksgiving
Ah,yeah...
Hi
Got three cases of champagne for Serena van der woodsen
No,no. I'm Serena van der woodsen
But those aren't mine
Well,the purchase order never lies. Salud
Hey,guys,I just got this incredible dolce
You wanna see? It's unbelievable
You can't turn your back in your own house. What are you guys talking about?
My mother's valentino was stolen. Oh,my god
It was made especially for her
It was the same year he did,uh
Jackie o.'S lace wedding mini
Well,did someone break in? No,and the maid swore to the police
That she didn't take it, but she'll probably get fired. Wait,police for a dress?
It's worthy $15,000. My mother told the maid if she returned it
She could work something out. Like she'll bring it back
Well,you never know. I mean,it could turn up
Right,cause really, where is she gonna wear it?
I'm really glad,because when I spoke to her
She mentioned the plans with the girls falling through
Nope. Tell you the truth, I didn't really believe her. why?
I thought she was just conflicted
About choosing friends over family
Well,you know that's the biggest struggle
With a girl of her age. Memory doesn't serve...
Trying to reconcile who you're becoming
With who you used to be
She's been running herself ragged, Mr Humphrey
Swedling two worlds? Well,I know she was running herself ragged
Trying to get into one of those worlds
Picking up dry cleaning, gowns for masked balls...
Well,it's no easier once you're in.
She needs some relief.
Well,then that's what she'll get.
Whatever I can do to help.
Oh,thank god.
Betty? Hi. Excuse me. Um...
Would you pardon me for a moment,please??
I need to trade back
All right,you can keep the scarf and the shoes,
- I'm sorry,but that's just not gonna be possible. - what? Why?
You know,when you leave here with an item,
You're agreeing to its value.
The dolce sold at $1,200.
The valentino... Is seven times that.
Please look,this has sentimental value,
- And I didn't realize - no,I'm sorry.
A couple of hours ago, this dress was mine,all right?
Doesn't even have tags on it yet.
Look,it's not my fault
That you don't know what a valentino's worth.
Hello? Nate,it's Jenny.
- What's going on? - Listen,I wouldn't be calling you
I have anyone else to turn to,
But I made a mistake,and I need to fix it,
- And I really need borrow some money. I - Jenny,just slow down.
- I promise I'll pay you back. - Is everything okay?
- Ah,I just--I made a mistake,and I need to fix it. - well,how much?
$8,000.
$8,000? Jenny,what do you need that kind of money for?
You know what? Forget it. I'm sorry I bothered you.
The price of fitting in
Might have gotten a little steeper...
But little J. Still knows
It's what's underneath that counts.
Well,we could put this one on a mylar tablecloth
And pretend it's a bar mitzvah.
Oh,there you are. I have a date with Dan.
Could you excuse us?
You're gonna say something worse than the bar mitzvah remark?
Serena,I think we should talk about any feelings
You might be having about my upcoming marriage.
Ay,but you're asking me this now because...
Cause I got a call from your headmistress
Who said that there was something
About a case of alcohol?
Well,I thought you may be acting out.
Great,mom. I actually woke up this morning, and I thought,
Mm. I'm a little uncertain about my mother's wedding.
"why don't I invite the entire junior class
Out to the courtyard for a champagne toast. - You have whole things like this before.
Obviously,Chuck's master plan is working.
Can't believe you think Chuck is doing these things.
Looking good to everyone in my life isn't enough for him.
He has to make me look bad or crazy..
Well,Chuck may be eccentric, but I doubt he's diabolical.
What's he done now?
I'll tell you what he's done.
Surprise!
Wow.
Happy birthday,Jenny.
Um,dad,I ca--I can't believe you did all this.
And,uh,Blair's here.
Um,this is so great
That all of you are here
In my house.
I should go change.
- Uh,you got it? - Okay.
Don'think she was surprised.
- What's Blair doing here? - I don't know.
- This party's kind of weird. - Weird? It's time for its induction
To the birthday hall of lame.
So not what I pictured
the guy on the phone about the loft party. - Can't believe we gave up our table for this.
Mint mojitos at socialista,
Mint milanos with Jenny's dad.
He's kind of a hottie.
Yeah,a hottie dad.
How long do we have to stay?
Rice krispie treats?
- You can't believe how mad Bart was. - Yes,I can,
'Cause you've told me about three times.
Wonder what they're gonna do to him.
- I wish I could see his face. - Hey,you know what? I've got some stories,too,
Uh,about seeing my mother
For the first time since she left at christmas.
- I'm the worst girlfriend. - No,you're not.you're not.
And there's the funny visit to my grandma
At the old folks' home--
- Two women,a sponge bath and a bedpan. - I'm sorry,you're right.
I wanna be here right now with you.
- And--and Nate. - What?
Hey,guys.
- hey - hey
Sorry to interrupt. Your mom told me you guys were here.
Can I speak with you for one second,Dan?
Uh,yeah.Yeah,sure.
All right. Okay.
So have you spoken with your sister at all today?
- no. Why? What's wrong? - I don't know she just called me.
She was really freaked out,didn't know where to turn.
- She asked to borrow $8,000. - What? Why?
Yeah,I don't know. I tried to get her
Tell me what was going on, but she wouldn't say anything.
Please? Dad,just get out, okay I need to change!
- Honey,can't you tell me what's going on? - nothing,just leave!
- Are you crying? Are you upset about the party? - No,can we talk about this later,okay?
Really just need to get out of this dress.
Uhh,it's stuck!
Okay,all right.
Just help me,okay? Help me get it off.
- Honey,you have to calm down. - No,hurry up.
- Did you get it? - I need a pair of pliers.
Dad...
Sorry. Sorry. We were just looking for our wraps.
I'll get them.
Oh,my god.
That's my mother's dress.
No,you guys,I got this--at resurrection.
Remember,I was telling you
- About the really great dress I bought? - Her mother's one-of-a-kind valentino
That just happened to disappear from her closet. - She must have given it away, forgotten or something.
Are you calling my daughter a thief?
Well-- excuse me.
This feels private,so I'm gonna head out now.
I have a table at butter.
Reservation's under Waldorf, in case there's an after party.
Spotted-- Jenny in a red dress
With the red hands to match.
Looks like other disgrace is the name on the label.
Blair said they told you
The original party had fallen through
That they could surprise you with a better one.
Blair's a liar. You got played.
She also said that you were afraid
The girls wouldn't accept everything about you.
She knew you were wrong. She wanted you to feel like you had nothing to be ashamed of.
Was that a lie,too?
Where did you get the dress?
And I know you didn't make it,
Cause your sewing machine is gone.
You have no idea how hard it is,dad.
I sold my sewing machine,okay?
- What? - Ah,and a lamp and some jewelry.
Why?
Because i had to.
Dad,did you think that you can just send me off to school
Th a plaid skirt and a metrocard,
And everything will be okay. I am not apologizing
For not having a private plane for you,jenny.
You think i'm ashamed of where i come from?
No,dad,what i am ashamed of
Having to bring a brown-bag lunch to school,
you know,eat it in the bathroom,
And then go out with my friends
And pretend that i'm not hungry
When i go to lunch with them.
You don't have to do those things,jenny.
You're making a choice.
Why don't you get?
Do you want me to choose to have no friends?
Look,clearly,
I mean,that's not even a choice anymore,
Because that's just done.
I should probably get back.
So,thank you for staying with me
- while i hid out from my house of horrors. - Oh,no problem.
So do you think jenny will be all right? Yeah,dan's a good guy.
He'll take care of her.
You are,too,you know,a good guy--
A forgiving guy
Who can't pit himself against blair forever.
-Good night. -I'm sorry you gave me an opening.
Couldn't resist. I'm just saying.
- How are you doing,man? - Night.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Where have you been? - Therapy.
For four hours? -Well,before i was-- i was playing wii tennis with chuck
At this guy named Brantforth's house?
why are you hanging out with him?
Brantforth?
Chuck is fun,okay?
He's cool to me, and he doesn't treat me like some freak
- At just out the ostroff center. - Who treats you like that?
guys at st. Jude's,the girls at constance,
- A at the korean deli on 75TH street. - Eric...
And he's not--he's not always careful around me,
Like--like one bad thing, and i'll break or something.
Besides,i always wanted a brother.
I'm trying it out,you know? Here.
-What's this? -Chuck said it came for you this morning.
Thought you might want to open it out of the house,
Just in case.why didn't he bring it to me himself?
Cause he thought you wanted him to stay away from you.
Whoa. Is that coke?
How do you like a brother who use you as a drug mule?
Serena,I.
Hey. Who turned 12?
Oh,please don't rub it in.
Dad,what happened?
Hey.
You okay?
You wanna tell me why you needed to borrow $8,000?
Not really.
I can't believe nate told you.
Well,he was worried about you,
At you might be turning into some hideous upper et t cyborg.
He said that?
No. No,i did.
Just got in way over my head.
You know,i thought i could trade the dress
wear it that night and return it,
But just...
Look,uh...
It's your birthday,
I think we should get some ice cream,
And we can talk about all this stuff later,okay?
Okay.
I'll just let dad know what we're gonna do.
Jenny, you have so much more to offer
Than the things that those girls have,really.
You've got so much more to bring to the table.
You just need to find a way to believe that.
What the hell is your problem?
Specify the context.
You disgust me,chuck.
How dare you involve eric in something like this?
No wonder you're friendless and girlfriendless.
- Even your own father expects the worst from you - Well,you saw to that.
Listen,if we're gonna exist under the same roof,
- I am laying down some house rules - No need,princes Bart already kicked me out.
What?
I'm moving back to my suite.
Bart thought it would be best for family be that way for a while
There's a line outside.
You're ready to give up you're table yet?
No. My party's coming.
They're coming!
These seats taken?
Any good general knows
You never let your soldiers see you sweat.
Look's like this battle's ending at butter,
And the win belongs to B.
Victory is sweet.
I don't want jenny leave this house, ok?
I-i know,dad,but it's,you know, it's her birthday,
- and i kind of promised. - Well,since when you don't make the decisions around here
- she'll just have to take that with a green household - i'm sorry so what are you gonna do?
Are you just gonna keep her locked up?
I don't know.
last week,Aspen. This week,prison?
Yeah,well,spring break is over for everyone,
Including myself
Really took my eyes off the ball.
so...so what do you want to do?
Why don't we just celebrate 15
with some jenny cake in the kitchen?
Ay. All right. I'll go tell her.
So, Jen
She's gone.
What?
She's not in there. She's gone.
hey
Uh,i'm sorry for calling you like that earlier.
i'm so embarrassed.
I know,it was stupid and--and inappropriate--
No,no,no,no. Listen,i'm just glad you're okay.
Yeah.
Um, okay, well, I do have a favor to ask you.
I mean,it's not money,
But i just really don't want to be alone on my birthday.
Oh,for me? Thank you.
Oh,my god.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
I'll be back.
Excuse me.
Cuse me!
I'm going to the bar.
What?
Bar!
We'll be right back.
Where are all the hot guys?
i don't know.
- they don't exactly serve tea and cupcake - 20 minutes.
Is this really happening?
Penelope,you know nate,right?
Of course. Hi.
Hi. Uh,how are you? good to see you again
Hazel,i think maybe your mom
has given away that valentino.
Yeah,she is always cleaning out her closet,
And that ativancan really play with her memory
Hey.
I'm really sorry,chuck.
i don't know it wasn't you who sent me that stuff.
Never thought i'd say this,
but it turns out chuck bass is innocent.
So, who did send S. all those naughty gifts?
Why don't i make you a drink?