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Into the scandalous lives of manhattan's elite.
Jenny, us hanging out was just as friends.
That was my mother, and she is at canyon ranch.
You should go. I'm elliot.
How'd you know what apartment I was in?
I started on the first floor and worked my way up.
Dorota, will you - yes, of course I will marry you!
I told chuck I'd take either you or the hotel.
He chose to give me you. I did what I had to to win.
Even if it means losing me instead?
You went up there on your own.
good-bye, chuck.
www.addic7ed.com
What are you doing here? Boss' orders.
Oh!
aah! No! Chuck!
No!
No.
No. No. No.
No!
Up and at 'em, upper east siders.
It's time to awake from our slumber
And learn the hard truth...
That some nightmares don't end once we open our eyes.
You're not gonna find anything in there.
Luckily for me, I own a bar downstairs.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Drink this.
Look, we know this has to do
With whatever's going on between you and blair.
Okay, you got the empire back.
You two should be celebrating, not fighting. You wanna tell us what's going on?
Here.
I thought our relationship...
Could withstand anything.
Apparently, I was wrong.
Well, you still love her, don't you?
Then show her that you're sorry. Take her to blue hill upstate
Or buy her those louboutins at saks. I'd have to buy saks itself,
And that still wouldn't be enough.
She doesn't want to talk to me. I've tried. When?
Look, you haven't been outside in days. She asked me to leave her alone.
You don't want to wait too long, chuck,
Or she'll think you don't care.
excuse me.
You think it worked?
well, maybe you'll have better luck with blair.
Wait. What? You're making me do this alone?
Breakfast with the humphreys, remember?
Let me know how it goes. Good luck.
H- hello? Hello?
dorota?
What on earth is going on?
I am sorry, miss eleanor, mr. Cyrus.
That was my mother.
She come with father to new york on Monday.
But that's wonderful. I can't wait to meet them.
Maybe we can all
Go have the vodka flight at the russian samovar!
We go nowhere once they see me.
My parents don't know I pregnant.
And since I not married, they will disown me.
Or worse, they will kidnap and take back to old country.
Uh...
Nate! Hello, nathaniel.
I'm here to see the invalid. And not a moment too soon. She hasn't left her room for days.
It's-it's like living with howard hughes.
blair is upstairs. I hope you can make some headway with her.
I am not allowed to cross the transom.
Well, I'll do my best.
Great. He sent good cop.
chuck didn't send me.
Serena.
Look, we're concerned about our best friends.
And whatever he did,
I'm sure you can find a suitable punishment for him.
There is no punishment for what he did.
You're blair waldorf.
"punishment" is your middle name.
¶
Just tell me what happened.
I can't tell anyone.
It's too awful.
There's no such thing as "too awful" between friends.
We don't judge, remember?
And we can forgive anything.
You can't tell anyone, especially not serena.
Not a soul. I promise.
What did chuck tell you about how he got his hotel back?
He didn't.
He just said "money solves everything."
He didn't use money.
He used me... As a trade.
Come on. No way.
He set me up to sleep with jack
In exchange for his beloved empire.
So now do you see why I couldn't tell anyone?
Oh, my god.
My slavic language skills are a little rusty,
But I'm pretty sure she just said, "over my dead goat."
Or "body." the words are very similar.
Cyrus, come away from there.
Eavesdropping on the help is undignified.
plus, it confuses them.
Oh, I haven't heard that much overwrought polish drama
Since I canceled my b.A.M. Subscription.
What is going on? From what I can gather, dorota's in a bind.
She needs to be married before her parents show up on Monday.
Dorota, I- I-I don't understand this.
Why can't you and vanya just go down to city hall?
Never. First marriage happen at polish city hall.
You were married before? Yes. I am divorcée.
And one reason is because first wedding happen at city hall,
Ignoring tradition.
Wedding traditions very sacred in my country.
dorota, don't be foolish.
Every marriage I know fail if wedding has no tradition.
Where did you and mr. Harold get married?
I don't think that's the reason
The marriage didn't work out.
This not way it's supposed to be.
Miss blair and I talk about what wedding with vanya will be like.
It's supposed to be big,
Grand,
Perfect. Blair does love herself a wedding.
If I may interject...
thank you for keeping my secret.
Hey, no problem. I'm just gonna tell serena to hold off
On the interrogation of you and...
Chuck.
Miss blair, I am getting married!
Of course you are. I mean tomorrow.
Mr. Chuck is
Throwing us traditional polish/russian wedding.
He said you two back together... He did?
Which is best news ever. Traditional wedding must have
Happy couple who escort bride and groom into chapel.
Is necessary for good luck in marriage.
Please, miss blair,
Mr. Chuck,
Will you be happy couple for vanya and me?
Well, uh, I can't speak for blair,
But it would be my great pleasure.
Poor b. Just realized
That chuck will do anything to keep the flame alive.
Hello, beautiful.
Glad you came.
As for serena,
Looks like she's playing with fire.
these venues will not do.
I know I said traditional,
But... bing it.
Have you ever checked out the astoria world manor?
It's queens' answer to the grand ballroom at the plaza.
Thank you, charles.
You didn't know about that?
You look like you need a task.
What I need is a zofran.
All this disingenuous generosity is making me want to vomit.
There's nothing disingenuous about it.
I'm happy I can give dorota and vanya
The dream wedding that they deserve. The only reason you're giving it is
So that you can spend time with me.
You know weddings are my weakness. Really? It never occurred to me.
Everything occurs to you, chuck.
Blair...
You and I are magnetic.
You can feel it.
Our pull is as undeniable as ever.
it's different this time.
It doesn't have to be. I love you.
Saying it was hard, but I did, and I've never looked back.
So now I'm asking you, please do this for me.
Please forgive me.
I'm sorry. I can't.
Oh, yes! Thank god you're here.
I need help with the flowers. No, I wish I was kidding.
well, I'm no florist, but I've received
Enough flowers in my day to know a thing or two.
I'm all yours. croissant?
Oh, yum. I'm starved. What, was rufus' waffle iron broken?
No, but this is gonna be a long day.
Show me those flower choices.
¶
Okay, so my tisch application is in the mail,
Vanessa's out of town,
And I just ate about 5 pounds of bisquick.
Food coma film festival? Who's with me on the couch?
I'm thinking kieslowski's "double life of veronique." you're in luck, dan. We all just scored front-row seats
To a live version of a polish production. Vanya and dorota are
Getting married tomorrow in queens, and they've asked me
To throw them a, uh, traditional eastern european game night
Tonight, whatever that means. Also, eleanor asked
If you and your sewing machine were free. Um, already on my way.
You know what? I'm gonna come with you. Is it to help me sew or to stalk your new crush?
It's not stalking if you know each other.
who's the lucky guy? Um, his name is elliot. I met him during nate's party.
We've been texting, but I don't know if he's being flirty
Or friendly, so... Yeah, eric refuses to ask him out
Until he knows if he's gay or not. Well, it could be totally embarrassing
If I assume one thing and he actually means another. Mm-hmm. come on, stalker.
¶
It's too bad lily's gonna miss the party.
And the wedding.
You could ask her to come back from canyon ranch early.
I mean, how many massages can one person get?
This is cece and lily we're talking about. Cece needs her.
So do you.
Just ask her to come home, be your date.
It'll be romantic.
Heading to the florist? Are you going
With the calla lilies or the casablancas?
you know what, chuck?
Don't even bother.
I know what you did. Blair told you.
Yeah, she did. She didn't want to, but she did.
I mean, this time you have crossed a line.
In your rush to pass judgment,
Did you ever consider you don't know the entire truth?
What exactly did blair say?
That you traded her for the hotel.
No.
No, you deserve to be alone.
I may be heartless, but you're naive.
I made the deal,
Sure, but blair didn't know that when she went to jack.
I guess she left that part out.
I can feel your brain strain, nathaniel.
I don't expect you to understand.
What's that supposed to mean? You and serena have it easy.
Until now your biggest concern is whose hair is shinier.
Did she tell you where she was this morning?
She went to breakfast at the humphreys'.
What does it matter?
Well, did she tell you carter baizen's back in town?
Because my friend at the st. Regis did,
And guess who he saw with carter this morning.
No, you have no idea what you're even talking about.
No, you have no idea what I'm talking about,
And that's the problem.
If you'll excuse me, I was heading out.
Hey. What are you doing hiding up here?
I just needed to be alone.
B., I know you and chuck
Are going through a hard time right now,
But don't you at least think what he did was romantic?
Oh, my god.
This was your idea.
No. I-I may have encouraged him to make a gesture,
But throwing a whole wedding was his idea.
That's the thing with him, s. Everything is a game.
But that's what makes you guys so good together.
You-you love games. It's who you are.
The last game we played, we both lost.
You and nate are lucky.
You're so good to each other.
No games, no lies, no secrets,
Just pure honesty-
That's how it's supposed to be.
I know that now.
How do you do it?
You just- you just do, I guess.
I hope it all works out.
Nate archibald.
What are you doing here, baizen?
Oh, I'm just dropping something off to serena.
How about you stay away form my girlfriend?
What do you want from her, anyway?
she's the one who wants something,
And it looks like I'm the only one who can give it to her.
I guess she hasn't told you what that is, huh?
What can I say? She trusts me more than you.
I gotta run,
But, uh, if you need anything, I'll be at the st. Regis.
Of course, serena already knows that.
was that who I think it was?
Was serena at breakfast with you guys this morning?
Yeah.
No.
Why? Did she say she was?
eleanor.
Darling. Sweetheart, I found the perfect gift for dorota and vanya.
It's gonna knock your socks off!
that's wonderful, dear. So much to do!
Finally, jenny. Hi.
Did you get the silk netting? Enough to make monique lhuillier weep.
Oh, good girl.
Oh, serena. Here. This is for you.
Where'd you get this?
Uh, from nate, who got it from carter.
Surprise, s.
A special delivery, courtesy of little j.
I guess good things don't always come in small packages.
Now it is time to play
Traditional eastern european wedding games.
Some of these games date all the way back to 14th century,
But back then they used virgins. And today... Not so much.
first game we play is balloon game.
Everybody must find partner.
You take balloon and put in between.
Now when music changes, you and partner get closer.
Ah. Now whoever does not pop balloon wins game.
Oh! And winner...
Gets rare matryoshka doll.
Whoo! Oh, yeah.
Okay, let's play.
Hey.
Traditions since the 14th century?
What's next, raping and pillaging?
I'm guessing you didn't see elliot. I waited in the lobby for, like, three hours.
I beat my high score in "brickbreaker."
Maybe I should just give up.
No. No, no, no. Quitting is for losers,
Except oprah can get away with it...
and, uh, maybe nate and serena.
jenny.
What? Serena's my sister and nate's my friend.
I just want to make sure they're okay.
That's all. Really.
¶
chuck bass. I hear a lot about you.
You're infamous in brighton beach.
I'm guessing so are you. But if you'll excuse me...
We've done something like this before, remember?
No talking.
Just dance.
¶
I should have told you about carter.
I bumped into him on the street the other day,
And I told him we could have coffee, and that's it. Well, that's not how carter made it seem.
You know how he is. He convinced his fourth grade class at dalton
That barneys was named after the dinosaur. He's a liar.
Nate, if he made it seem like anything other than coffee,
Then he was just trying to upset you.
And obviously, he succeeded. Come on, nate.
This is me you're talking to. You have to trust me.
You don't trust me?
Why should I trust you? Okay, the only reason we're having
This conversation right now is because you got caught. I was going to tell you.
When, after the fact?
Why didn't you just tell me when it happened? Because...
here you go. Thank you.
Daniel. Where's your partner? Uh, she-she's in vermont.
I was thinking about sitting this one out. Oh. Well, if you're not going to dance,
At least make yourself useful.
These russians drink more than larry hagman on his first liver.
bartender needs more ice.
Yeah, you-you do know that I'm not working this party, right?
Mm-hmm. All right, I'll do it.
Thank you.
Hey! Hey.
Cyrus, what the hell has gotten into you? Dorota's gift is finalized.
The papers are signed.
Papers?
What papers? Did you get her a puppy?
Even better.
an apartment.
Have you gone crazy?
I was thinking more of a vera wang cake knife. A cake knife is not enough.
Okay.
The apartment is great. It's in queens,
An easy commute on the subway.
Why does dorota need an apartment in queens
When she lives in a penthouse on the upper east side?
She's getting married. They have a baby on the way.
I figured- you figured wrong.
Getting dorota an apartment is highly inappropriate.
She's just a maid, for goodness sake.
But dorota's family.
She practically raised blair.
so your balloon burst, too?
Let me guess- you overheard me and serena.
Yeah. Kinda couldn't help it.
Look, I love serena, but I also know how she is.
I get it. It's-it's hard to know the truth with her.
Maybe I overreacted, right? I get to talk to all my exes.
Maybe it's okay she had coffee with the guy. Yeah.
Do you know what was in the envelope
That carter gave her? I don't know. I didn't open it.
Well, we could peek inside her v.B.H...
Jenny, you can't go through serena's purse.
Why would serena need a key to the st. Regis?
Miss blair, you go down!
Too easy.
Looks like we might win.
Well, you can have the doll. I'm sure you'll know what to do
With five women with removable heads.
Whatever the prize...
You have to admit...
Together, we can't lose.
No matter how many weddings you plan,
Nothing can fix what happened.
What I did was wrong.
I'm sorry.
But no one forced you to go up there. I forced myself for you.
You didn't even know- I know. I just...
this game is over.
whoo!
ooh! yeah!
Hey. You okay?
No, I'm not.
Why do you even care?
You've always thought the worst of chuck and me.
You think we're horrible, depraved, soulless.
And I may have used all of those words at one point or another,
But I-I'm sorry. I'm not following. What's going on?
Did-did chuck... Did chuck do something?
No, it's not just what he did.
It's what I did.
This whole time I was blaming him, but it was me, too.
I've become the person you always thought I was. Look, blair, you're not-
I don't think you're that bad of a person-
Maybe not my type, but you're not terrible.
And-and whatever it is that happened between you and chuck,
I'm sure you can fix it, because if there was
A pair meant for one another, you know, it's-it's you two. You're absolutely right.
Chuck and blair. Blair and chuck.
I mean, who else could love me after what I've become?
Thank you for helping me see it, humphrey.
Your ice is melting.
Hi. This is rufus humphrey. I've left a few messages
For my wife lily and haven't heard back,
And she didn't call me at our usual time.
No, I know you have rules about no phone.
Uh, lily humphrey?
Maybe it's under lily van der woodsen?
Bass?
Rhodes?
Looks like lily's caught in a lie.
Okay. I-I must have gotten the dates wrong. Thanks.
Guess it's the truth that's getting massaged.
Everything you said last night was true.
We do belong together.
We're both sick and twisted.
If you think about it,
We're incredibly fortunate to have even found each other.
Blair, I don't want this to be you settling,
Some sort of consolation.
We've both hit rock bottom, chuck,
But we've hit it together.
At least we won't be lonely in hell.
That's not what we're - I should see if anyone needs me.
I thought you'd be happy.
any luck with that elliot guy?
Uh, no. He never showed.
Mm. Ah, well, maybe vanya will have a cute gay cousin.
Look, should we be worried that your dad isn't coming?
Uh, well, I-I think he was hoping that lily would show up,
But it'll be fine.
Thanks.
hello.
You've reached the voice mail for celia rhodes.
Please leave a message.
Uh, cece, hi. It's rufus.
I don't know where you and lily are,
But I know it's not canyon ranch.
We need to talk.
in russian tradition,
Before a groom can marry his bride,
The wedding party gathers and demands
That he answer a series of questions about his beloved.
If he's unable to answer these questions
To the satisfaction of the crowd,
The wedding cannot proceed.
Vanya, are you ready?
Yeah.
That was an awkward car ride.
Nate, you barely said two words to me.
Look, I know you're still mad,
But I want to tell you the truth. Then you can start by telling me
What you were doing in carter's hotel room.
I found the key, serena.
You went through my bag?
Carter is helping me find my dad.
Oh, was he in carter's hotel room? Nate, I love you. I'm not interested in carter.
Then why do you still have secrets with him?
I was nervous to tell you that I was still looking for my dad.
I- I felt-I felt stupid,
Like-like I'd be disappointing you.
Look, I told you the truth.
I don't know what else you want me to do.
I want you to stop seeing him.
I know you're upset, but that doesn't give you
The right to tell me who I can and can't see.
With carter, yes, it does.
This is the final question-
What do you love most about dorota?
oh, this is tough question.
There's so many things I love about her.
But I think what I love most is the way I feel with her.
With dorota, I am best possible version of myself.
I have peace in my heart,
Knowing I will be good husband, good father.
I will die proud russian man,
Very much in love. aw!
now you may officially greet your bride.
And now... It's time to get married!
So... Will the happy couple
Who will be escorting dorota and vanya into the chapel
Please step forward?
Miss blair, are you...
I can't do this.
Miss blair.
I can't keep pretending, and I can't lie to you, dorota.
Chuck and I aren't happy... At all,
And if we walk you in, your marriage will be jinxed.
I'm... I'm sorry.
I can't.
Poor chuck.
Looks like he's got a runaway bridesmaid on his hands.
I should have realized
That something was still wrong with you and mr. Chuck.
But you always tell me everything.
I couldn't admit it to anyone.
I could barely admit it to myself.
And I didn't want to let you down.
I'm sorry I ruined your wedding, dorota.
Does vanya hate me?
No. Miss blair,
I came to america
To start new life,
To make new traditions.
And lucky for me,
I find great people to do this with.
I find my family.
When I saw how happy you and vanya are,
I realized how unhappy I am.
I wish you to be like me one day,
To find right love,
Good love.
I don't need you to be happy couple, miss blair.
I just need you to be happy.
ahem.
Come on, ladies.
You have an aisle to walk down.
I just got your text. What are you doing here?
I - I told you to stay away. I just got another call from my p.I. About your dad.
What'd he say?
He has his exact location, just a 3-hour plane ride away.
You ready for this? I don't know how long he'll stay there.
It's now or never.
What are you doing?
Everything's booked. This is your chance.
This time won't be like the last.
I'm gonna make him see me.
Thattagirl.
Wait. I-I should tell someone I'm leaving.
No, there's no time. Call from the car.
Did I miss anything? No.
Hi, eric.
Hi. Elliot, what are you doing here? I love dorota.
We're tight now. We talked about "the vampire diaries"
In the elevator on Friday. I was hoping you'd be here. Here I am.
Uh, this-
This is jenny, my stepsister.
Hi.
And I'm chelsey, his girlfriend?
sorry.
you were right.
Dorota is family.
I guess I was just too scared to admit it,
Because I didn't want to think that anyone else
Could have raised my daughter better than I could have.
But you're a great mother.
I could have been better.
But there was some stuff that happened before you came along.
Wait.
Did you really mean what you said?
Yes. When your uncle threw me out-
Wait. He threw you out?
you didn't actually... Why are you laughing?
'cause nothing happened. This was all for nothing.
It's not nothing. I-I didn't do it, but I would have.
I want what dorota and vanya have-
Real love,
Pure and simple love.
You'd be bored within five minutes.
Better bored than ashamed of myself.
I would do anything for you, chuck.
But what if that's wrong?
I never thought it was possible to love someone too much,
But maybe it is.
I don't like who I've become with you.
Wait. Blair...
Don't bail on me.
We have to see this through to the end.
This is the end, chuck.
Hey. Have you seen serena?
She missed the whole ceremony.
What's the matter?
Um...
I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this,
But, uh,
Serena left with carter.
Only a few short hours
Until you'll be reunited with your dad.
What's the first thing you're gonna say
To dr. Daddy van der woodsen?
Carter, how long have you known my dad's in palm beach?
I don't know. A day or two?
Fine. A week. A week?
You've known this entire time, and you haven't told me?
Nate was right. You were using this to get closer.
I was still seeing if there's something between us,
And there obviously is.
What's the big deal? I have a boyfriend who I love very much.
archibald?
You're really gonna settle for that?
Can you stop the car, please?
Get out. What?
Don't be like this. You're just nervous about seeing your dad.
I don't need your help anymore or ever again.
I should have done this on my own from the start.
Fine. If that's what you want.
Keep going, please. I have a plane to catch.
Good-bye, baizen.
Hello, palm beach.
With carter out of the picture,
It looks like serena's making room for daddy.
One, two, three!
Mazel tov! Thank you.
This is for you and this one's for you,
From cyrus... And me.
It's the keys to an apartment in queens...
And it's your apartment in queens!
an apartment!
Oh! Thank you!
Oh!
Ohh.
Thank you, dorota,
For...
Everything.
Miss eleanor, you've been so kind to me all these years. Oh.
I always think of you like a mother.
Maybe big sister.
Congratulations. Thank you so much.
Oh, have good health.
We got apartment! An apartment!
Cece. No, thanks for calling me back.
I was afraid you might not.
Of course. I got your message.
What's been bothering you?
I love my wife, but I've had it with all her lies.
Tell me what's going on or I'm- I'm walking out this door
And I'm never looking back.
Oh, rufus, you're right that lily's not with me,
But more than that, it's not my place to say.
I'm afraid you'll need to get the rest from lily. I'm sorry.
Maybe we should get some champagne.
Bartender, a bottle and two glasses. sure thing.
Now...
Just to clarify, I do think you deserve
To be with someone who makes you happy. Well, coming as it does from someone
Who dates vanessa abrams, it means very little to me.
But still, thank you, humphrey. Care for a dance?
I guess.
Follow me.
Hey. Come on, chuck.
What are you doing?
Don't look so surprised.
I'm single now. This is who I am.
Hey. Wanna dance?
Um, shouldn't you be doing that with your girlfriend?
Chelsey took off.
We kind of got into a fight.
Sorry.
I'm not.
No, she was mad because I kept talking about this guy
That I met in the lobby of my building.
And then I dragged her out to a wedding in queens.
I guess I'm a little obsessed.
I don't get it.
You like girls.
But I also like boys.
And I like you.
Let's go.
hey, serena. It's jenny,
Answering, uh, nate's phone. Jenny, I'm so glad you picked up. Do you know where nate is?
Um, no. I don't see him right now. Okay, um, if you find him,
Can you just please tell him to call me back as soon as he can?
Also, just tell him
That I love him and I don't want any more secrets.
Yeah, sure. If I, uh, if I see him, I'll give him the message.
Thank you, jenny. I appreciate it.
While most people think
It's our brain that controls our actions,
It is often our heart that gets the biggest workout.
Hey, you wanna dance?
Um, yeah.
It can make us do the craziest of things,
But it can also let us take a chance on new adventures.
Because when we open our heart,
We can explore a world of love...
And be pleasantly surprised by the people already in our life.
But unfortunately, our hearts are very sensitive,
And when they're broken,
Everything around us is shattered.
Hello?
Dad?
Serena. Mom.
Um...
Total eclipse of the heart.
X.O.X.O., gossip girl.