1
00:00:00,623 --> 00:00:03,559
"Gossip Girl here, your
one and only source into

2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,929
of the Manhattan elite.

3
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- I get into Columbia.
- And what if Columbia's a disaster,

4
00:00:08,822 --> 00:00:11,877
- and we lost each other for good?
- And what if it's amazing

5
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:14,250
and we become closer
than we've ever been?

6
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I'm not seeing anybody else,
nor do I want to, if you don't.

7
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Last night...

8
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don't even finish those words

9
00:00:21,616 --> 00:00:24,269
unless... unless they
end with "was a mistake."

10
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Ben's my brother. He takes
a lot of time and energy.

11
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How are things going?

12
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The guys were easy, but
the girls are presenting

13
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a little bit more of a challenge.

14
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I know what you did, Blair.
It's despicable, even for you.

15
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Do you hate me so much you
can't stand to see me happy?

16
00:00:37,555 --> 00:00:38,210
No.

17
00:00:38,211 --> 00:00:41,513
Why did you drive the person
I care most about out of town?

18
00:00:41,514 --> 00:00:43,477
You just brought back my worst self.

19
00:00:44,558 --> 00:00:47,238
<i>Sync By YYeTs</i>

20
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Morning on the Upper East Side,
where even our own blonde birdie

21
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has been spotted flying the coop early
to make it to her morning classes.

22
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Leave it to Serena Van Der
Woodsen to make geek chic.

23
00:01:11,262 --> 00:01:13,834
Who knew Ivy would look so good on her?

24
00:01:17,297 --> 00:01:20,010
Hey! Hey! Hey! Are you
kidding me? Hey, you again.

25
00:01:20,011 --> 00:01:22,929
Yes, me again, getting
my cab taken by you again.

26
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,260
Nice bag. I like it better than
the one you had the other day.

27
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Thank you. It's supposed
to be at class with me.

28
00:01:27,056 --> 00:01:29,277
I can't be late again,
so if don't mind...

29
00:01:29,278 --> 00:01:31,637
Sorry. She had an audition. Something...

30
00:01:31,719 --> 00:01:34,062
Ah. I think a talking dog was involved.

31
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Yeah, I know the feeling.

32
00:01:35,784 --> 00:01:36,934
Why don't you let me make it up to you?

33
00:01:36,935 --> 00:01:39,652
Buy you a drink sometime? Are
you seriously hitting on me

34
00:01:39,653 --> 00:01:41,749
while still holding your date's shoes?

35
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Well, if you change your mind,

36
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the king Cole bar is
the only place in town

37
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that still makes a red snapper.
You look like you're about a size 8?

38
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Taxi!

39
00:02:06,276 --> 00:02:11,047
Indra Nooyi, Ann Moore, Andrea jung.
Why are these all businesswomen?

40
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We color-coded for easy reference.

41
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Businesswomen are in green.
Women in academia are in blue.

42
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Politics and government in red

43
00:02:17,793 --> 00:02:20,503
with a subsection on
royalty and dictators.

44
00:02:20,504 --> 00:02:24,361
Ooh, files. What's going on?
Researching women of power

45
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so I can better forge
my path to become one.

46
00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:29,538
Sarah Louise Palin?

47
00:02:29,768 --> 00:02:31,958
Do you even want to be a Minion?

48
00:02:32,188 --> 00:02:34,952
B., uh, can I talk to you
for a minute? I need advice.

49
00:02:34,953 --> 00:02:37,613
Yes. Five paces behind for privacy.

50
00:02:37,688 --> 00:02:38,710
Ten for you.

51
00:02:39,029 --> 00:02:39,623
What?

52
00:02:39,624 --> 00:02:42,374
How are you? I've
barely seen you all week.

53
00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:43,698
Uh, I've been great.

54
00:02:43,699 --> 00:02:45,749
You know, with Dan and Nate behind me,

55
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:48,820
I really feel like I can bury
the old me and start anew.

56
00:02:48,821 --> 00:02:50,111
May you rest in peace.

57
00:02:50,112 --> 00:02:51,693
The only problem is, I've been late

58
00:02:51,694 --> 00:02:53,520
for my English lit class a few times,

59
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,875
and lates count as
absences, which is 10%...

60
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:58,859
oh, if only there were a device
of some kind to keep the time.

61
00:02:59,392 --> 00:03:01,004
S., listen to me.

62
00:03:01,278 --> 00:03:03,014
College professors have a God complex,

63
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so just meet with him
and say you're sorry.

64
00:03:05,256 --> 00:03:07,762
The simplest way to turn
an enemy into a friend

65
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is to seek their counsel.

66
00:03:09,694 --> 00:03:10,859
Who taught you that?

67
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:13,026
One of your Asian "art of war" gurus?

68
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,307
Martha Chamberlin.

69
00:03:14,308 --> 00:03:15,516
She's guest lecturing a series called

70
00:03:15,517 --> 00:03:17,612
the psychology of business.

71
00:03:17,613 --> 00:03:19,514
I'm heading to the
registrar's to sign up.

72
00:03:19,515 --> 00:03:23,352
Oh, I love her. B., how do you do it?

73
00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:26,440
Chuck declares war, and you
simply up your class load.

74
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The more time I spend on
campus, the safer I am.

75
00:03:29,653 --> 00:03:33,305
Chuck is allergic to education
and bettering himself.

76
00:03:33,306 --> 00:03:36,174
Well, I'm not, so if I'm
gonna work on my new self,

77
00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:37,800
I should head to the library.

78
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,902
Sign me up for Martha's
class. We'll go together.

79
00:03:43,052 --> 00:03:44,569
Your guitar tuner? Really?

80
00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,637
You have the worst poker face ever.

81
00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:51,151
Okay. Fine. Dan hasn't
been returning my calls,

82
00:03:51,152 --> 00:03:52,283
and I wanted to make sure

83
00:03:52,284 --> 00:03:53,900
everything was okay with you guys.

84
00:03:54,542 --> 00:03:56,911
Everything is better than okay.

85
00:03:56,912 --> 00:03:58,776
Dan and I had a marathon talk...

86
00:03:58,936 --> 00:04:02,384
everything that we haven't
dealt with, including Serena.

87
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And from now on, there's no
more secrets or surprises.

88
00:04:06,485 --> 00:04:08,191
Well, that's great.

89
00:04:09,593 --> 00:04:11,207
Never doubted you guys for a second.

90
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:12,668
Seriously?

91
00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:15,523
You need to practice in
the mirror or something.

92
00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:18,207
I don't know how they let you
live on the Upper East Side.

93
00:04:19,445 --> 00:04:21,770
That's great you and Vanessa
sorted everything out, Dan.

94
00:04:21,897 --> 00:04:23,054
You know, we should double.

95
00:04:23,274 --> 00:04:26,028
Juliet and I are going to
this faculty and friends mixer

96
00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:27,116
tomorrow night at the Hamilton house.

97
00:04:27,117 --> 00:04:28,138
You guys wanna come?

98
00:04:28,527 --> 00:04:29,902
Mm, no.

99
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,797
There's free appetizers, Humphrey.

100
00:04:31,861 --> 00:04:35,157
Oh. Okay. Fine. You wanna
go see a movie afterward?

101
00:04:35,354 --> 00:04:36,676
No can do.

102
00:04:36,808 --> 00:04:37,882
Oh, come on.

103
00:04:37,883 --> 00:04:39,371
It doesn't even have to have subtitles.

104
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That sounds great.

105
00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:43,099
No, Juliet and I have this
nice little evening planned

106
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:43,927
after the mixer.

107
00:04:43,928 --> 00:04:46,167
Got some champagne, new Matteo sheets,

108
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and I'm hoping some
recently purchased lingerie.

109
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It's for her, right?

110
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,422
Wait a second. I'm sorry.
You guys haven't, uh...

111
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,142
No, I haven't. No.

112
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I did the spend the night at her place,

113
00:04:56,824 --> 00:04:58,824
but I took a page from
the old Humphrey playbook,

114
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and we just talked and played scrabble.

115
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That's nice.

116
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:04,065
Thanks.

117
00:05:04,265 --> 00:05:07,339
By the way, thank you
for, uh, inviting me today.

118
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:08,787
You know, after everything
that's happened between us...

119
00:05:08,788 --> 00:05:10,181
yeah, yeah. I missed you, too.

120
00:05:11,239 --> 00:05:13,619
No hugs. You're not getting a hug.

121
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:14,330
Not one?

122
00:05:14,331 --> 00:05:15,270
Not one.

123
00:05:16,113 --> 00:05:17,820
I'm sorry I didn't visit last week.

124
00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:19,965
Things are really ramping up at school.

125
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:21,393
The good news is

126
00:05:21,394 --> 00:05:24,978
that Serena is now isolated
from both Dan and Nate.

127
00:05:24,979 --> 00:05:26,167
What about Blair?

128
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,864
Blair will get distracted eventually.

129
00:05:28,865 --> 00:05:31,160
Oh, come on. It was only a few weeks ago

130
00:05:31,161 --> 00:05:33,479
I went after Serena at Hamilton house.

131
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,452
If I get caught trying to
get her expelled, it's over.

132
00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:39,025
Not if you have a fall guy.

133
00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:40,959
Maybe...

134
00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:45,506
Someone with pretty blue eyes
and a history with Serena?

135
00:05:46,114 --> 00:05:47,841
Have you been spying on me?

136
00:05:48,822 --> 00:05:51,851
Spying implies a lack of trust,

137
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:54,029
and I know that I can trust you.

138
00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:57,822
I'm only dating Nate to
stay in Serena's orbit.

139
00:05:57,823 --> 00:06:01,345
Good, because we agreed
that we would not stop

140
00:06:01,346 --> 00:06:03,810
until Serena was left with nothing,

141
00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:05,538
just like I was.

142
00:06:06,344 --> 00:06:09,857
And the next thing to
take from her is Columbia.

143
00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:12,032
And seeing as how you're
in with these people,

144
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:14,327
it shouldn't be too hard, right?

145
00:06:16,739 --> 00:06:18,080
I know what to do.

146
00:06:40,328 --> 00:06:41,287
There you are.

147
00:06:41,298 --> 00:06:44,456
Where do I sign up for Ms.
Chamberlin's lecture series?

148
00:06:51,981 --> 00:06:54,497
What are you doing here?

149
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:55,809
Go, lions.

150
00:06:56,539 --> 00:06:59,975
No. That's impossible, even for you.

151
00:06:59,976 --> 00:07:00,763
The dean's extended me

152
00:07:00,764 --> 00:07:03,259
the courtesy of auditing a few classes.

153
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:05,645
We felt it was important I
get a feel for campus life

154
00:07:05,646 --> 00:07:06,597
before breaking ground

155
00:07:06,598 --> 00:07:10,388
on the new Bart Bass memorial rotunda.

156
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:11,109
What?

157
00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:13,334
It's a building with
a circular ground plan,

158
00:07:13,335 --> 00:07:14,484
usually covered by a dome.

159
00:07:14,485 --> 00:07:16,883
I know what a rotunda
is! You can't be here.

160
00:07:16,884 --> 00:07:19,160
Columbia's mine. What do you want?

161
00:07:19,161 --> 00:07:21,385
Funny, last time we spoke, I
thought I was crystal clear.

162
00:07:21,386 --> 00:07:23,439
You took away what I cared about most.

163
00:07:23,678 --> 00:07:27,788
To return the favor, I'm going
to take Columbia away from you.

164
00:07:32,149 --> 00:07:32,996
Come back later

165
00:07:32,997 --> 00:07:35,356
and sign me and Serena
up for Martha's class.

166
00:07:35,562 --> 00:07:37,679
But do it quietly. I
don't want Chuck to know.

167
00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:42,089
Go!

168
00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,449
This just in...

169
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,344
looks like you can take
the girl out of the party,

170
00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:55,752
but not the party out of the girl.

171
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:58,774
* I'm livin' in the 21st century *

172
00:07:58,775 --> 00:08:00,433
* Doin' something mean to it *

173
00:08:00,434 --> 00:08:03,528
* Do it better than anybody
you ever seen do it *

174
00:08:03,529 --> 00:08:05,893
* Screams from the
haters, got a nice... *

175
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:08,011
Rumor has it our favorite blonde

176
00:08:08,012 --> 00:08:10,872
could be spreading more
than just good cheer.

177
00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:15,330
And if it's true, then
there's a test out there

178
00:08:15,331 --> 00:08:18,261
a few of you might not be able to pass.

179
00:08:18,481 --> 00:08:22,141
Does s.V.W. Have an s.T.D.?

180
00:08:38,263 --> 00:08:40,268
I mean, who would lie
to Gossip Girl like that?

181
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,109
Do you really want a list?

182
00:08:41,110 --> 00:08:42,739
Because I don't know if
I have that kind of time.

183
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:45,015
A good scandal is one
thing, but even Gossip Girl

184
00:08:45,016 --> 00:08:47,784
likes to keep things
classy and somewhat true.

185
00:08:48,851 --> 00:08:50,805
I just wanted to focus on school.

186
00:08:50,806 --> 00:08:52,302
Well, don't let this stop you.

187
00:08:52,303 --> 00:08:53,446
Without someone confirming the rumor,

188
00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:54,440
it'll blow over by lunch.

189
00:08:54,441 --> 00:08:56,952
And just keep doing what you're
doing. Hold your head high.

190
00:08:56,953 --> 00:09:00,183
This is our school. We were
here first. Damn him to hell.

191
00:09:00,451 --> 00:09:01,406
Why do I get the feeling

192
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,882
your pep talk is not
entirely meant for me?

193
00:09:04,658 --> 00:09:06,758
Chuck is here, at Columbia.

194
00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:08,827
Wow. He's bringing the battle to campus?

195
00:09:08,828 --> 00:09:11,274
Yes. Well, I already have a battle plan.

196
00:09:11,275 --> 00:09:14,132
I found out that Martha Chamberlin
takes a student assistant

197
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:15,066
when she lectures.

198
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:16,929
That position will be
my own private island

199
00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:18,714
against the storm that is Chuck Bass.

200
00:09:19,154 --> 00:09:21,632
If you're not gonna let a
disease like Chuck deter you,

201
00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:23,321
what leg do I have to stand on?

202
00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,249
I'm gonna go plant myself in the quad,

203
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,903
act like I don't have
a care in the world,

204
00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:29,074
and e-mail my Professor
to see when he can meet.

205
00:09:33,377 --> 00:09:36,904
Okay, it says here that you
both slept with Serena...

206
00:09:36,984 --> 00:09:39,786
And Vanessa, and that Vanessa
also slept with Chuck...

207
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:40,411
Yeah.

208
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:41,669
Who slept with Blair?

209
00:09:41,926 --> 00:09:43,394
All that's on "Gossip Girl"?

210
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:44,750
Yeah, she made a chart, actually,

211
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,224
which I have to say is very helpful.

212
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:47,724
Oh, God.

213
00:09:48,519 --> 00:09:49,495
Can we talk?

214
00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:50,688
Yeah.

215
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,523
Thank you for meeting
me before your game.

216
00:09:57,524 --> 00:10:00,747
I just... I thought that
we should talk about this

217
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:03,640
before we spend our
first night together.

218
00:10:04,295 --> 00:10:06,502
You know it's just a
rumor. It's not true.

219
00:10:07,463 --> 00:10:08,159
And even if it was,

220
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,572
I haven't slept with Serena
since, like, last spring.

221
00:10:10,573 --> 00:10:11,526
So?

222
00:10:11,619 --> 00:10:15,321
So I think I would, you know, know.

223
00:10:15,457 --> 00:10:18,208
Nate, symptoms can be dormant for months

224
00:10:18,209 --> 00:10:21,200
or not even appear at all.
You could still be a carrier.

225
00:10:22,014 --> 00:10:22,714
What?

226
00:10:22,715 --> 00:10:23,623
I'm a girl.

227
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,345
I paid attention in health class.

228
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,027
So you want me to get tested?

229
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,138
I mean, I'm not worried, but
if it makes you feel better,

230
00:10:34,139 --> 00:10:36,127
I'll swing by the health
clinic after the game.

231
00:10:36,209 --> 00:10:39,114
Thank you. And I promise you,

232
00:10:39,304 --> 00:10:41,886
when you see the outfit I
bought for tomorrow night,

233
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:44,016
it'll be well worth it.

234
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:50,455
Vanessa, like I told you on the phone,

235
00:10:50,456 --> 00:10:51,840
I'm sure it's totally false.

236
00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:53,831
And... and what business
is it of yours anyway?

237
00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:54,861
You and I both got tested

238
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:56,847
when we first started sleeping
together. You remember that?

239
00:10:56,848 --> 00:10:59,078
I sure do, and I have not
been with anyone else since.

240
00:10:59,079 --> 00:11:02,437
Dan, Serena was sleeping in your
bed and wearing your t-shirt.

241
00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:04,702
If something else
happened, I need to know.

242
00:11:04,703 --> 00:11:06,091
Nothing else happened.

243
00:11:06,092 --> 00:11:08,177
W-what... what happened
to our big talk?

244
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:09,991
'Cause honestly, I
don't know if I can have

245
00:11:09,992 --> 00:11:11,918
this same conversation one more time.

246
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:17,537
I'm sorry. You're right. It's
just... the blast freaked me out.

247
00:11:17,538 --> 00:11:19,776
It's okay. I promise.

248
00:11:19,777 --> 00:11:21,843
I promise you have
nothing to worry about.

249
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:23,946
All right? I'll call you after the game.

250
00:11:32,967 --> 00:11:35,047
Serena. Hi.

251
00:11:36,108 --> 00:11:37,114
How are you?

252
00:11:37,789 --> 00:11:40,130
Great. Why wouldn't I
be? If you're referring to

253
00:11:40,131 --> 00:11:42,266
the unconfirmed vicious
rumor on "Gossip Girl,"

254
00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:44,433
you wouldn't have anything
to do with that, would you?

255
00:11:45,084 --> 00:11:48,841
No. Look, I just came over
here to tell you the way

256
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,657
our English lit Professor called you out

257
00:11:50,658 --> 00:11:53,279
in front of the entire class?
You didn't deserve that.

258
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,261
And if there's anything that I can do...

259
00:11:55,411 --> 00:11:57,172
No, I already e-mailed him.

260
00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,931
I'm hoping to talk with
him myself tomorrow.

261
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,082
Good.

262
00:12:02,892 --> 00:12:04,254
Well, anyhow...

263
00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:09,545
I really didn't have anything
to do with that blast.

264
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,456
Believe me, it's the last
thing I would've wanted.

265
00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:13,684
What do you mean?

266
00:12:14,676 --> 00:12:17,771
Nate sort of freaked when he saw it.

267
00:12:18,211 --> 00:12:20,368
Freaked how? He doesn't believe it.

268
00:12:33,742 --> 00:12:34,753
Thanks for coming with me, man.

269
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,298
No problem. I shouldn't have told you

270
00:12:36,299 --> 00:12:38,068
about the cotton swab
thing. That was insensitive.

271
00:12:38,069 --> 00:12:39,662
But, you know, just think
about how happy you'll be

272
00:12:39,663 --> 00:12:41,033
with a clean bill of
health tomorrow, right?

273
00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:41,752
Yeah. Yeah.

274
00:12:41,753 --> 00:12:43,004
What the hell are you doing?

275
00:12:43,005 --> 00:12:45,183
And you? It's been what, two years?

276
00:12:45,184 --> 00:12:46,237
I'm a wingman.

277
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,365
You wanna go sign me in and I'll
see you in there in a minute?

278
00:12:49,366 --> 00:12:50,239
Yeah, I'll step away now.

279
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:50,981
All right, cool.

280
00:12:50,982 --> 00:12:52,666
Nate, I know all about
your summer of love

281
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:55,465
from Chuck's little black book,
and honestly, for your sake,

282
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:57,822
I hope you do get tested.
But if you do it today,

283
00:12:57,823 --> 00:12:59,989
people will just think
that you believe the blast.

284
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:02,037
You'll be confirming the rumor. Please.

285
00:13:02,538 --> 00:13:05,307
Please just wait a few
days or go somewhere else.

286
00:13:05,989 --> 00:13:09,509
Serena, there's someone else
I need to do this for. Okay?

287
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:12,737
And right now she's
my priority, not you.

288
00:13:35,213 --> 00:13:38,380
* I wanna tell you there's
a really good reason *

289
00:13:38,975 --> 00:13:40,837
Ms. Chamberlin's largest client to date?

290
00:13:40,838 --> 00:13:42,550
National rifle association.

291
00:13:42,551 --> 00:13:44,442
She created the mama bears campaign,

292
00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:46,497
increased female membership by a third.

293
00:13:46,498 --> 00:13:47,859
And the cherry pie?

294
00:13:48,317 --> 00:13:51,112
Her first major success was
branding a cherry pie recipe

295
00:13:51,113 --> 00:13:52,246
for "better homes and gardens."

296
00:13:52,247 --> 00:13:53,640
How do you get from
"better homes and gardens"

297
00:13:53,641 --> 00:13:54,402
to the n.R.A.?

298
00:13:54,403 --> 00:13:55,977
It's a short trip, believe me.

299
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,568
Ms. Chamberlin? I'm Blair Waldorf.

300
00:13:58,569 --> 00:14:00,495
I'll be in your psychology
of business class.

301
00:14:00,496 --> 00:14:04,004
Well, nice to meet you. I'm
not having office hours yet...

302
00:14:04,005 --> 00:14:06,840
actually, I was hoping we could
discuss the assistant position.

303
00:14:08,038 --> 00:14:09,147
I'm a big fan.

304
00:14:10,022 --> 00:14:12,476
Unfortunately, the
position has been filled.

305
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,043
By who?

306
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:23,946
Ms. Chamberlin, whatever
Mr. Bass has told you,

307
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:25,759
I assure you, he has no
interest in your class

308
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,355
or any idea who you even are.

309
00:14:27,884 --> 00:14:28,806
Thank you?

310
00:14:28,807 --> 00:14:31,666
On the contrary, once I
decided to rebrand the empire,

311
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:33,450
there was only one name on my list.

312
00:14:33,676 --> 00:14:35,924
We can talk more as I
walk you to your limo.

313
00:14:35,925 --> 00:14:36,973
Thank you.

314
00:14:37,489 --> 00:14:38,789
Good day, Ms. Waldorf.

315
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,785
If you have any questions
regarding the class,

316
00:14:40,786 --> 00:14:42,720
Mr. Bass will answer them.

317
00:14:43,895 --> 00:14:45,494
Actually, it turns out

318
00:14:45,495 --> 00:14:47,650
Ms. Chamberlin's class is overenrolled.

319
00:14:47,651 --> 00:14:50,069
You didn't make the cut. Sorry.

320
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,396
Mmm.

321
00:14:53,751 --> 00:14:56,413
I almost forgot how much
I used to enjoy your pie.

322
00:14:57,976 --> 00:14:59,836
Better batten down the hatches, b.

323
00:14:59,837 --> 00:15:02,137
Looks like your island in the storm

324
00:15:02,138 --> 00:15:05,590
was just hit by a Bass 5 hurricane.

325
00:15:18,628 --> 00:15:19,768
Where are you off to?

326
00:15:19,769 --> 00:15:20,923
Uh, campus.

327
00:15:21,111 --> 00:15:24,068
My Professor agreed to meet
with me during office hours.

328
00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:27,263
Oh, good for you. We can't let
the men of our past define us.

329
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:30,770
They want us to lash out,
lower ourselves to their level.

330
00:15:30,774 --> 00:15:33,160
But it is our job to remain civilized.

331
00:15:33,161 --> 00:15:35,739
So you're gonna let Chuck have
the assistant position then?

332
00:15:36,288 --> 00:15:38,779
I said "civilized, " not "lobotomized."

333
00:15:40,987 --> 00:15:43,695
Oh, Ms. Chamberlin.
So good of you to come.

334
00:15:44,394 --> 00:15:46,493
Earl Grey, if I'm not mistaken?

335
00:15:47,393 --> 00:15:48,741
What is going on?

336
00:15:48,742 --> 00:15:50,287
It's better not to know.

337
00:15:50,836 --> 00:15:52,573
Plausible deniability.

338
00:15:55,106 --> 00:15:57,548
Ms. Waldorf, the only reason
I agreed to meet with you

339
00:15:57,549 --> 00:15:59,913
is because your mother and I
have crossed paths on occasion,

340
00:15:59,914 --> 00:16:02,019
and I felt it a professional courtesy.

341
00:16:02,301 --> 00:16:07,008
Oh. Did you know that my
mother remarried? Amazing man.

342
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,132
Your point?

343
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,491
I was sorry to hear about
your unfortunate divorce

344
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:12,826
a few years ago.

345
00:16:12,827 --> 00:16:13,880
I beg your pardon?

346
00:16:13,881 --> 00:16:14,849
Oh, boy.

347
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:15,814
You and I both know

348
00:16:15,815 --> 00:16:17,665
that power is the
greatest aphrodisiac...

349
00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:20,081
except, of course, when women have it.

350
00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:22,088
Your ex-husband, for example.

351
00:16:22,089 --> 00:16:24,760
I mean, the nanny? How cliche...

352
00:16:24,761 --> 00:16:25,648
I'm listening.

353
00:16:25,649 --> 00:16:27,465
My stepfather has surrounded
himself with people

354
00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:30,375
who are not intimidated
by a woman's success.

355
00:16:30,836 --> 00:16:34,085
One of the partners at his firm
is exceptionally attractive.

356
00:16:34,086 --> 00:16:35,870
And I don't mean to sound forward,

357
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:38,104
but I'd love to introduce you

358
00:16:38,105 --> 00:16:40,138
at the Hamilton house party tonight.

359
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:44,085
Well, I was going to be
at the party anyway, so...

360
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,580
Well, then I'll make the call.

361
00:16:46,016 --> 00:16:46,898
That is, of course,

362
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:49,201
if the assistant position
is still available.

363
00:16:50,188 --> 00:16:53,042
Let's just say that
nothing is set in stone.

364
00:16:53,066 --> 00:16:55,567
Hmm. I'm sorry. Did you say scone?

365
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:02,083
No! No, no, no, no!

366
00:17:02,084 --> 00:17:04,005
I don't care how late
she is for her audition.

367
00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:06,336
Flight attendant. So quick to judge.

368
00:17:06,511 --> 00:17:07,320
How's school going?

369
00:17:07,321 --> 00:17:08,785
Terrible, which is why I can't be late.

370
00:17:08,786 --> 00:17:10,767
You know, if it helps, I could
get you a copy of my schedule

371
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:11,887
so we can stop doing this. Come on.

372
00:17:11,888 --> 00:17:13,229
Why would we want to do that?

373
00:17:14,197 --> 00:17:16,226
You put a different girl
into a cab every day.

374
00:17:16,227 --> 00:17:17,538
If you think I would
ever be one of them,

375
00:17:17,539 --> 00:17:18,865
you are out of your mind.

376
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,321
I think nothing of the sort.

377
00:17:20,322 --> 00:17:23,799
In fact, I leave at
this time on purpose,

378
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,367
hoping to get to see you.

379
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,207
Good. Then I'm taking
the cab. Scoot over.

380
00:17:34,246 --> 00:17:35,757
Hey. What are you doing here?

381
00:17:35,802 --> 00:17:37,802
Hey. Uh, uh, lily's not around, right?

382
00:17:37,803 --> 00:17:40,619
Uh, she and Eric are visiting
colleges. It's just us. Why?

383
00:17:40,828 --> 00:17:43,563
Okay, well, there... there's
- there's a rumor going around

384
00:17:43,654 --> 00:17:45,735
that Serena has, um...

385
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,877
She has... she has something.

386
00:17:48,239 --> 00:17:49,309
Has something?

387
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:51,410
Yeah. Please get there faster.

388
00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:55,589
Oh. Y-you mean... oh. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

389
00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,150
Yeah. Yeah. It's not true.

390
00:17:57,621 --> 00:17:58,580
But there was a picture

391
00:17:58,581 --> 00:18:00,568
of me with Nate yesterday
at the health center.

392
00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:02,609
So now I'm pretty sure
Vanessa thinks that

393
00:18:02,610 --> 00:18:05,780
something more than a kiss
happened between me and Serena.

394
00:18:06,356 --> 00:18:07,140
Well, did it?

395
00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:08,940
No, no, and I've told
her that a hundred times.

396
00:18:08,941 --> 00:18:11,120
But she slept in the other room
last night, and when I woke up,

397
00:18:11,121 --> 00:18:13,893
she wasn't there. What? I-I mean,

398
00:18:13,894 --> 00:18:15,559
I thought you'd be glad
that I was sharing with you.

399
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,675
I am. I am. But you're not
gonna like what I have to say.

400
00:18:18,676 --> 00:18:20,550
Serena is a formidable woman,

401
00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:22,275
and what you guys shared was a big love.

402
00:18:22,327 --> 00:18:24,797
You can't blame Vanessa
for being insecure.

403
00:18:25,455 --> 00:18:26,999
So if you wanna be with
her, you need to show her

404
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,794
that she doesn't have
anything to be worried about.

405
00:18:28,795 --> 00:18:32,154
I've told her that, but I'm not
gonna stop talking to Serena,

406
00:18:32,155 --> 00:18:33,463
cut her out of my life.

407
00:18:33,702 --> 00:18:36,044
All I'm saying is, at
least for right now,

408
00:18:36,428 --> 00:18:39,620
Vanessa needs to know that she's
the only one you care about.

409
00:18:45,178 --> 00:18:46,239
I need to talk to you.

410
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,331
Oh, I'm in a hurry.
Now's not a good time.

411
00:18:48,773 --> 00:18:49,387
You need to tell me

412
00:18:49,388 --> 00:18:51,174
what happened between
you and Dan that night.

413
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,326
Isn't that a conversation
you should be having with him?

414
00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:55,630
I did, but I can't trust
him when it comes to you.

415
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:57,590
What's that supposed to mean?

416
00:18:57,591 --> 00:18:58,119
Let's just say

417
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,863
it wouldn't be the first time
a guy had lied to his girlfriend

418
00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:01,464
to cover up a night spent with you.

419
00:19:03,237 --> 00:19:04,827
You know, Vanessa, you
always wanna believe

420
00:19:04,828 --> 00:19:07,459
the worst in people. Why change now?

421
00:19:07,460 --> 00:19:08,577
Exactly.

422
00:19:23,582 --> 00:19:25,700
Glad to see you took me up on my offer.

423
00:19:26,613 --> 00:19:28,861
I hope you like my signature martinis.

424
00:19:32,476 --> 00:19:35,480
I'm tired of making dossiers
and carrying cherry pies.

425
00:19:35,737 --> 00:19:36,671
This would be good practice

426
00:19:36,672 --> 00:19:38,779
if I ever decide to
take Blair down myself.

427
00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:40,289
Well, don't get ahead of yourself,

428
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:43,855
but I appreciate the enthusiasm.
What did you find out?

429
00:20:00,929 --> 00:20:04,365
Hi. I just got your text. What's up?

430
00:20:04,366 --> 00:20:06,613
Yeah, I just found out that test results

431
00:20:06,614 --> 00:20:08,622
could take three or
four days to get back.

432
00:20:08,952 --> 00:20:09,681
Wow.

433
00:20:09,846 --> 00:20:10,355
Yeah.

434
00:20:12,743 --> 00:20:14,184
Three or four days.

435
00:20:15,429 --> 00:20:17,543
I can't believe our night's
being derailed by this.

436
00:20:25,464 --> 00:20:27,051
Unless...

437
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,485
There's another way that
we can know for sure.

438
00:20:30,989 --> 00:20:33,296
I mean, Serena must've
talked or e-mailed someone

439
00:20:33,297 --> 00:20:35,514
about whether the
rumors were true or not.

440
00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:38,290
I guess I could talk to Blair.

441
00:20:39,209 --> 00:20:41,819
Yeah. She'd probably take the fifth.

442
00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:46,665
How else are we gonna find out?

443
00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:51,485
No.

444
00:20:51,955 --> 00:20:52,706
Forget it.

445
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:56,323
I just think the anticipation
is making me crazy.

446
00:20:59,946 --> 00:21:01,113
Well, I'm gonna go home.

447
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:04,500
We should both get ready.
And I am gonna start...

448
00:21:04,501 --> 00:21:05,998
By taking a cold shower.

449
00:21:12,519 --> 00:21:13,254
Bye.

450
00:21:15,698 --> 00:21:17,053
I think we're ready.

451
00:21:17,054 --> 00:21:17,980
You think?

452
00:21:18,248 --> 00:21:19,578
Oh, I can't just come out

453
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:21,586
and ask him to steal Serena's phone.

454
00:21:22,517 --> 00:21:25,729
But trust me, he's right
where we need him to be.

455
00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:29,534
Good. If anything goes
wrong, it'll be on him.

456
00:21:29,535 --> 00:21:31,826
Right. Just like we planned.

457
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:35,045
I have to go.

458
00:21:36,990 --> 00:21:39,256
Vanessa. What are you doing up here?

459
00:21:40,864 --> 00:21:42,727
I think Dan and Serena
slept together last spring

460
00:21:42,728 --> 00:21:44,061
when we were still going out.

461
00:21:44,062 --> 00:21:47,100
Oh, my God. Are you sure?

462
00:21:47,101 --> 00:21:48,537
No. That's the problem.
They both deny it.

463
00:21:48,538 --> 00:21:49,877
I'm sorry to unload on you like this.

464
00:21:49,878 --> 00:21:52,045
I'm just... I feel
like I'm losing my mind.

465
00:21:52,046 --> 00:21:53,826
Well, then you have
to find out for sure.

466
00:21:53,827 --> 00:21:54,607
How?

467
00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:58,038
I think I might have an idea.

468
00:21:58,914 --> 00:22:01,348
That is, of course, if you're up for it.

469
00:22:01,349 --> 00:22:03,613
Yeah. Right now I'm up
for anything, believe me.

470
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:07,252
Then call Dan. Tell
him that you wanna talk

471
00:22:07,253 --> 00:22:10,065
and we'll meet him and Nate
at Hamilton house tonight.

472
00:22:10,652 --> 00:22:11,572
Are you sure?

473
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,509
Trust me.

474
00:22:14,236 --> 00:22:16,714
Things have a way of working
out when you least expect it.

475
00:22:41,632 --> 00:22:42,996
Where have you been?

476
00:22:43,216 --> 00:22:45,274
I know I'm late. Again.

477
00:22:45,592 --> 00:22:48,157
So I take it the meeting with
your Professor did not go well.

478
00:22:49,270 --> 00:22:50,961
It didn't go at all. I didn't make it.

479
00:22:50,962 --> 00:22:53,498
You know there's a clock
on your cell phone, right?

480
00:22:53,499 --> 00:22:56,471
Yes. Yes, but it wasn't my
fault, but I e-mailed him

481
00:22:56,472 --> 00:22:58,362
and begged for five
minutes of his time tonight.

482
00:22:58,934 --> 00:23:01,569
Then we settle all
Columbia business tonight.

483
00:23:01,820 --> 00:23:03,515
And it just so happens
that Ms. Chamberlin...

484
00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:05,544
b., can I just wish you good luck

485
00:23:05,545 --> 00:23:07,916
and take plausible
deniability on this one?

486
00:23:07,917 --> 00:23:10,452
Luck not needed, but right back at ya.

487
00:23:27,226 --> 00:23:28,247
You're a natural.

488
00:23:29,519 --> 00:23:31,157
I said Serena forgot something.

489
00:23:31,158 --> 00:23:33,478
One smile at the coat check
guy and he handed it right over.

490
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:35,988
Now check her e-mail.

491
00:23:35,989 --> 00:23:37,623
If Serena and Dan slept together,

492
00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:39,698
there's bound to be a
message about the rumor.

493
00:23:43,153 --> 00:23:44,858
This feels very wrong.

494
00:23:45,736 --> 00:23:47,542
It's the only way you'll know for sure.

495
00:23:51,242 --> 00:23:53,390
There's an e-mail from
Dan a few hours ago.

496
00:23:53,611 --> 00:23:54,259
What?

497
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,381
"If Vanessa thinks

498
00:23:56,382 --> 00:23:58,281
"something more than a
kiss happened between us

499
00:23:58,282 --> 00:24:01,244
"even though it didn't,
I need to show her

500
00:24:01,245 --> 00:24:03,755
I'm willing to do whatever
it takes to make things work."

501
00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:06,741
Well, now you have your answer.

502
00:24:06,851 --> 00:24:07,739
We have to put this back right now.

503
00:24:07,740 --> 00:24:11,700
Wait, wait, wait, wait. My
boyfriend dated her, too.

504
00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:14,135
You're not the only one
with Serena insecurity.

505
00:24:14,463 --> 00:24:15,689
Okay, well, then hurry up.

506
00:24:17,082 --> 00:24:18,488
Shoot. I think someone's coming.

507
00:24:36,398 --> 00:24:37,752
Coast is clear. Well?

508
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,432
Nothing, thank God. Come
on. Let's get outta here.

509
00:24:40,433 --> 00:24:42,510
Okay, wait. I told Dan
that I needed to talk.

510
00:24:42,511 --> 00:24:43,793
What... what do I say now?

511
00:24:44,539 --> 00:24:47,652
He's a guy. Do you think
he really wants to talk?

512
00:24:48,423 --> 00:24:50,282
Just take him home

513
00:24:50,283 --> 00:24:52,319
and show him you're ready to move on.

514
00:24:53,851 --> 00:24:55,544
Twice if necessary.

515
00:24:56,935 --> 00:24:57,819
Thank you.

516
00:24:58,470 --> 00:24:59,759
Nate's a lucky guy.

517
00:24:59,853 --> 00:25:01,244
You guys make a really good couple.

518
00:25:01,614 --> 00:25:04,439
Yeah, we do, don't we?

519
00:25:25,954 --> 00:25:28,449
Pardon the interruption, but
you have an important call.

520
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:31,546
Blair Waldorf.

521
00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:34,602
I'm Ms. Chamberlin's new assistant.

522
00:25:36,818 --> 00:25:38,521
Confident, I see.

523
00:25:38,549 --> 00:25:40,278
When destiny calls? Always.

524
00:25:41,246 --> 00:25:43,338
Especially when it
arrives right on time.

525
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:46,178
Nothing says "soul
mate" like punctuality.

526
00:25:50,069 --> 00:25:50,982
Hey, Vanessa.

527
00:25:52,997 --> 00:25:53,861
Dan.

528
00:25:54,037 --> 00:25:56,240
Nate, um, Juliet's looking for you.

529
00:25:57,050 --> 00:25:58,002
Thank you.

530
00:25:59,895 --> 00:26:00,621
Hey.

531
00:26:01,836 --> 00:26:02,919
Hey. What's going on?

532
00:26:03,123 --> 00:26:03,801
What do you mean?

533
00:26:04,487 --> 00:26:06,255
I just mean, like, why are you
- why are you smiling so much?

534
00:26:06,256 --> 00:26:08,593
I'm just... I'm
- I'm glad to see you.

535
00:26:08,762 --> 00:26:10,849
I thought... I thought
you were mad at me.

536
00:26:10,850 --> 00:26:12,015
I'm... I'm confused here.

537
00:26:16,387 --> 00:26:19,189
Okay, wait a second. Now...
now... now I'm really confused.

538
00:26:19,256 --> 00:26:21,224
You... you said we needed to talk.

539
00:26:22,014 --> 00:26:23,729
We already did. I just...
I wasn't listening.

540
00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:26,004
What do you say we get out of here?

541
00:26:26,005 --> 00:26:28,932
And I'll show you how
much we don't need to talk.

542
00:26:30,969 --> 00:26:32,364
I don't know. I mean...

543
00:26:32,870 --> 00:26:34,678
I'm pretty stubborn.
It might take all night.

544
00:26:34,679 --> 00:26:36,941
Well, then I guess
you'll need your strength.

545
00:26:37,742 --> 00:26:41,008
Let's load up on free
appetizers before we leave.

546
00:26:41,775 --> 00:26:43,553
Hamilton house is
where dreams come true.

547
00:26:43,554 --> 00:26:45,048
On that we agree.

548
00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:51,016
There. Shall we?

549
00:26:51,794 --> 00:26:52,888
Beautiful scarf.

550
00:26:52,889 --> 00:26:53,892
Oh, well, as we work together,

551
00:26:53,893 --> 00:26:56,665
you'll come to find that
your tastes are my tastes.

552
00:26:57,668 --> 00:26:58,754
Guess who.

553
00:27:00,061 --> 00:27:02,261
Sam. Hi.

554
00:27:03,546 --> 00:27:06,520
I must say, Blair did
not do you justice.

555
00:27:06,521 --> 00:27:08,021
I know the feeling.

556
00:27:08,566 --> 00:27:11,029
You thought this was my special someone?

557
00:27:12,267 --> 00:27:12,889
No.

558
00:27:14,276 --> 00:27:15,761
I mean, unless...

559
00:27:15,762 --> 00:27:18,070
What? Since I'm a powerful
career-driven woman

560
00:27:18,071 --> 00:27:20,631
who intimidates men,
I must be a lesbian?

561
00:27:20,632 --> 00:27:22,775
No. This was not the date I set up.

562
00:27:22,776 --> 00:27:25,271
He was an intellectual property lawyer

563
00:27:25,339 --> 00:27:27,769
who does pro Bono work
helping kids sue Hollywood

564
00:27:27,770 --> 00:27:29,182
for stealing their Twitter ideas.

565
00:27:30,339 --> 00:27:32,660
Then I suggest you see
if he needs an assistant.

566
00:27:32,661 --> 00:27:35,149
My class is full... forever.

567
00:27:36,754 --> 00:27:38,129
Great scarf, by the way.

568
00:27:56,287 --> 00:27:58,560
Dean Reuther, Serena Van Der Woodsen.

569
00:27:58,770 --> 00:28:00,709
Professor Lawford,

570
00:28:00,938 --> 00:28:02,908
I'm so sorry I didn't make
our meeting this morning.

571
00:28:02,909 --> 00:28:04,836
But as I mentioned in my e-mail,

572
00:28:04,837 --> 00:28:07,366
I'm hoping to impress upon
you... upon both of you...

573
00:28:07,367 --> 00:28:09,167
that I'm willing to do whatever it takes

574
00:28:09,168 --> 00:28:10,034
to succeed at this school.

575
00:28:10,035 --> 00:28:12,502
Yes, the e-mail that you
sent to Professor Lawford

576
00:28:12,503 --> 00:28:13,912
makes that pretty clear.

577
00:28:13,913 --> 00:28:14,834
I'm sorry?

578
00:28:14,835 --> 00:28:17,712
Perhaps we should have this
conversation in private.

579
00:28:18,384 --> 00:28:20,825
And what conversation would that be?

580
00:28:21,459 --> 00:28:25,619
The one regarding your e-mail
that offers sex for grades.

581
00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:26,820
What?

582
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:30,065
I-I-I didn't do that.
I would never do that.

583
00:28:30,066 --> 00:28:32,859
This is your e-mail address, is it not?

584
00:28:33,405 --> 00:28:35,517
Yes, but I-I didn't send this.

585
00:28:36,263 --> 00:28:38,964
Ms. Van Der Woodsen,
obviously we pay no mind

586
00:28:38,965 --> 00:28:41,935
to childish rumors that
circulate all college campuses,

587
00:28:41,936 --> 00:28:45,186
but this e-mail is extremely serious.

588
00:28:45,187 --> 00:28:48,746
The consequence of sending
it, I'm afraid, is expulsion.

589
00:28:49,873 --> 00:28:51,060
Expulsion?

590
00:28:52,336 --> 00:28:53,237
Spotted...

591
00:28:53,238 --> 00:28:57,321
Serena Van Der Woodsen looking
like she's hot for teacher.

592
00:28:57,322 --> 00:28:59,546
That's the thing about
a good gaslight...

593
00:28:59,547 --> 00:29:03,225
with enough smoke, who cares
if there's really a fire?

594
00:29:10,879 --> 00:29:11,908
Did you send that e-mail,

595
00:29:11,909 --> 00:29:12,952
the one that came from Serena's phone

596
00:29:12,953 --> 00:29:14,524
offering sex to her Professor?

597
00:29:14,525 --> 00:29:16,975
What? Why would I do that?

598
00:29:17,812 --> 00:29:19,128
If you ask me, it sounds like an idea

599
00:29:19,129 --> 00:29:20,660
that Serena would get all on her own.

600
00:29:20,661 --> 00:29:22,236
I don't think she would do that.

601
00:29:22,456 --> 00:29:24,061
I'm gonna tell her we had her phone.

602
00:29:24,627 --> 00:29:26,400
Wait. Don't.

603
00:29:27,547 --> 00:29:29,365
Maybe if we had access to it,

604
00:29:29,366 --> 00:29:32,147
then somebody else did as well.

605
00:29:33,301 --> 00:29:35,436
I didn't send that e-mail.

606
00:29:35,437 --> 00:29:37,185
But if you tell her
that we took her phone,

607
00:29:37,186 --> 00:29:38,934
she is gonna blame us,
and I could get expelled.

608
00:29:38,935 --> 00:29:40,029
And so could she.

609
00:29:41,379 --> 00:29:44,360
If you didn't send it, then
you have nothing to worry about.

610
00:29:50,416 --> 00:29:51,685
Where is Martha's date?!

611
00:29:51,686 --> 00:29:53,441
Penthouse suite at the empire

612
00:29:53,618 --> 00:29:54,588
with a woman I assure you

613
00:29:54,589 --> 00:29:56,880
he won't want to leave until
morning, maybe afternoon.

614
00:29:56,881 --> 00:29:58,185
Depends on his cardio.

615
00:29:58,944 --> 00:30:02,734
I was going to play nice. You
think I don't have a plan "b"?

616
00:30:02,735 --> 00:30:03,853
Plan "b"?

617
00:30:03,854 --> 00:30:06,317
What could be more cunning
and devious than date night?

618
00:30:07,695 --> 00:30:10,349
I had Dorota get chummy
with Martha's maid,

619
00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:12,849
who came over from one of her
sweatshops in the Philippines.

620
00:30:12,850 --> 00:30:14,335
If I have to, I'll blackmail
her for the position.

621
00:30:14,336 --> 00:30:15,360
An illegal maid scandal?

622
00:30:15,361 --> 00:30:16,653
Nobody's cared about those in years.

623
00:30:16,654 --> 00:30:19,426
And a lesbian switcheroo
doesn't make you Blackwater.

624
00:30:19,427 --> 00:30:21,975
The switcheroo was for fun.
The I.R.S. Agent standing by

625
00:30:21,976 --> 00:30:23,614
to crawl up Martha's audit is not.

626
00:30:23,615 --> 00:30:24,978
A tax fraud setup?

627
00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:27,470
They give away girl
scout badges for that.

628
00:30:27,471 --> 00:30:29,818
I have her prenup. It has details.

629
00:30:29,819 --> 00:30:32,734
I have the nanny. She has pictures.

630
00:30:32,735 --> 00:30:34,198
Martha's ex is in them. So is Martha.

631
00:30:34,199 --> 00:30:35,765
It turns out it was a threesome

632
00:30:35,766 --> 00:30:37,631
until the nanny turned
it into a twosome.

633
00:30:37,699 --> 00:30:41,347
Oh, my God! You students are psychotic.

634
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,849
I have better things to do with my time.

635
00:30:44,229 --> 00:30:45,691
Tell the dean I quit.

636
00:30:46,559 --> 00:30:47,449
Shame.

637
00:30:47,684 --> 00:30:49,437
Sounded like a great class.

638
00:30:49,772 --> 00:30:51,230
If you'll excuse me,
I've heard good things

639
00:30:51,231 --> 00:30:52,733
about the
make-your-own-pizza bar.

640
00:30:56,155 --> 00:30:56,984
My phone isn't in here.

641
00:30:56,985 --> 00:30:59,638
Whoever stole it must've been
the person that sent the e-mail.

642
00:30:59,639 --> 00:31:02,236
A missing cell phone is hardly proof.

643
00:31:02,838 --> 00:31:04,025
I'll see you in my office on Monday,

644
00:31:04,026 --> 00:31:05,764
and we'll talk about what's next.

645
00:31:07,836 --> 00:31:08,750
Good night, Jim.

646
00:31:11,641 --> 00:31:13,404
Please don't do this.
You don't go to Columbia.

647
00:31:13,405 --> 00:31:14,838
They can't do anything to you.

648
00:31:15,692 --> 00:31:17,383
I'm sorry, but it's
the right thing to do.

649
00:31:17,384 --> 00:31:17,974
Wait.

650
00:31:19,867 --> 00:31:20,537
Serena...

651
00:31:22,814 --> 00:31:23,704
Call your phone.

652
00:31:25,973 --> 00:31:28,589
Maybe the person who stole
it might still be here.

653
00:31:29,759 --> 00:31:30,884
Hey. Hey, what's going on?

654
00:31:47,875 --> 00:31:50,643
Vanessa stole my phone and
sent an e-mail to my Professor.

655
00:31:50,644 --> 00:31:52,067
That's... that's crazy.

656
00:31:52,286 --> 00:31:53,810
Really? Do you wanna answer that?

657
00:31:54,286 --> 00:31:55,748
I'll speak with you later.

658
00:31:58,042 --> 00:31:59,350
I can explain.

659
00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:00,819
You took Serena's phone?

660
00:32:00,820 --> 00:32:02,507
She thinks we slept together.

661
00:32:04,967 --> 00:32:07,279
Wait, you were the one behind
the "Gossip Girl" rumor.

662
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,483
What? No!

663
00:32:09,494 --> 00:32:12,345
I-I know how this looks, but
I did not send out that e-mail.

664
00:32:12,966 --> 00:32:14,071
Juliet did. She's the one

665
00:32:14,072 --> 00:32:15,501
who wanted to steal your
phone in the first place.

666
00:32:15,502 --> 00:32:16,708
W... are you kidding me?!

667
00:32:16,709 --> 00:32:19,156
There is no way that I'm
getting dragged into this.

668
00:32:19,695 --> 00:32:22,296
I wasn't gonna say anything,
but Vanessa came to me today.

669
00:32:22,297 --> 00:32:25,163
She asked me to help her get
revenge, and I told her no.

670
00:32:25,164 --> 00:32:26,585
That is a lie!

671
00:32:26,586 --> 00:32:29,457
No, it's not. Juliet
told me before the party.

672
00:32:29,458 --> 00:32:31,909
She was hoping to talk to
Vanessa and calm her down.

673
00:32:31,910 --> 00:32:33,818
But... I'm sorry, man.

674
00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:36,497
Wait, is that why you
were so happy earlier

675
00:32:36,498 --> 00:32:37,899
and you wanted to get outta here?

676
00:32:38,180 --> 00:32:39,404
Yeah, with my phone,

677
00:32:39,405 --> 00:32:40,689
so that she could get
rid of the evidence

678
00:32:40,690 --> 00:32:42,529
and make sure I was expelled.

679
00:32:42,743 --> 00:32:44,194
I did not do this.

680
00:32:45,768 --> 00:32:46,734
After everything we've been through,

681
00:32:46,735 --> 00:32:49,206
I'm asking you to please believe me.

682
00:32:50,677 --> 00:32:52,705
I don't know what to believe right now.

683
00:32:59,116 --> 00:33:00,113
Vanessa...

684
00:33:00,114 --> 00:33:00,948
don't.

685
00:33:01,696 --> 00:33:04,008
I'm sorry, okay? I-I
wanted to be friends,

686
00:33:04,009 --> 00:33:05,756
but what did you expect me to do?

687
00:33:06,134 --> 00:33:07,618
I had to protect myself.

688
00:33:09,705 --> 00:33:12,002
You're right. You do.

689
00:33:15,618 --> 00:33:16,719
Poor v.

690
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,301
Didn't she know that in love and war,

691
00:33:19,302 --> 00:33:23,415
a friend in need is
willing to do most any deed?

692
00:33:26,837 --> 00:33:29,803
I believe you didn't send
that e-mail, but I can't ignore

693
00:33:29,804 --> 00:33:32,933
the level of drama that has
followed you to my campus

694
00:33:32,934 --> 00:33:35,201
and grown even louder since you arrived.

695
00:33:35,202 --> 00:33:36,169
Meaning?

696
00:33:36,771 --> 00:33:40,300
Women of my generation had
to fight for every opportunity

697
00:33:40,301 --> 00:33:42,085
and to be taken seriously,

698
00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:43,929
and your attitude, Ms. Van Der Woodsen,

699
00:33:43,930 --> 00:33:45,042
makes a mockery of that.

700
00:33:45,043 --> 00:33:48,293
If I were you, I would
rethink my priorities.

701
00:33:49,087 --> 00:33:50,014
Good night.

702
00:33:50,450 --> 00:33:51,732
Ms. Waldorf,

703
00:33:52,142 --> 00:33:54,485
I have my eye on you as well.

704
00:34:00,146 --> 00:34:02,154
Plausible deniability was a good call.

705
00:34:02,515 --> 00:34:03,597
And speaking of denials,

706
00:34:03,598 --> 00:34:05,642
you've been cleared in the
court of public opinion.

707
00:34:06,025 --> 00:34:07,837
Gossip Girl sent out
an official retraction

708
00:34:07,838 --> 00:34:10,196
and personal apology
to you about the rumor.

709
00:34:10,197 --> 00:34:13,047
Not to mention, she said
whatever person sent it

710
00:34:13,048 --> 00:34:14,519
is now on her hit list.

711
00:34:15,742 --> 00:34:17,150
Yeah, well, it was Vanessa.

712
00:34:17,151 --> 00:34:18,018
Vanessa?

713
00:34:19,103 --> 00:34:20,133
Yeah, well, Gossip Girl's scorn

714
00:34:20,134 --> 00:34:22,264
will only increase her social standing.

715
00:34:24,034 --> 00:34:25,390
How did you figure it out?

716
00:34:26,144 --> 00:34:29,743
Uh, ironically, it was Juliet
who I have to thank for that.

717
00:34:41,031 --> 00:34:42,309
If you'll excuse me.

718
00:34:45,490 --> 00:34:47,184
I was just telling Blair

719
00:34:47,185 --> 00:34:49,382
I have you to thank
for clearing my name.

720
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,551
I know we got off on
the wrong foot, but...

721
00:34:53,815 --> 00:34:57,406
It's just because I was jealous
of how much you meant to Nate,

722
00:34:57,407 --> 00:34:58,754
and I'm sorry.

723
00:34:59,619 --> 00:35:00,769
Well...

724
00:35:01,004 --> 00:35:02,853
Boys will do it almost every time.

725
00:35:03,513 --> 00:35:05,499
Now if they weren't so darn cute...

726
00:35:07,486 --> 00:35:08,849
Are you sure you're gonna be okay?

727
00:35:09,125 --> 00:35:09,659
Yeah.

728
00:35:09,862 --> 00:35:12,636
Do you maybe wanna grab a drink with us?

729
00:35:13,185 --> 00:35:13,704
Uh, no.

730
00:35:13,705 --> 00:35:16,149
I actually just wanna get outta here.

731
00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:17,376
I'll see you in class.

732
00:35:17,377 --> 00:35:20,328
Yeah. Don't be late.

733
00:35:27,788 --> 00:35:29,482
What are you still doing here?

734
00:35:31,722 --> 00:35:33,408
I lost the assistant position.

735
00:35:33,409 --> 00:35:36,211
The entire faculty thinks
I'm just as crazy as you.

736
00:35:36,337 --> 00:35:37,098
You've made your point.

737
00:35:37,099 --> 00:35:39,298
Can't you take your little
celebration elsewhere?

738
00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:40,785
If you think I'd take tonight

739
00:35:40,786 --> 00:35:44,026
as some sort of balancing
of the scales, I don't.

740
00:35:44,275 --> 00:35:46,199
I'm not trying to make a point, Blair.

741
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:47,744
This is just a warm-up.

742
00:35:48,552 --> 00:35:50,804
Whatever you want, wherever you want it,

743
00:35:50,805 --> 00:35:53,167
I am going to be there
to take it away from you.

744
00:35:53,968 --> 00:35:55,836
I won't stop until you have nothing.

745
00:35:58,165 --> 00:35:59,638
You wouldn't go that far.

746
00:36:03,425 --> 00:36:04,858
Who knows my limits

747
00:36:05,145 --> 00:36:06,765
since you took away my future?

748
00:36:06,766 --> 00:36:09,315
That wasn't your future.

749
00:36:09,906 --> 00:36:11,451
That was Henry prince's.

750
00:36:11,452 --> 00:36:13,416
Destroying me won't make you happy.

751
00:36:13,901 --> 00:36:15,151
Happier.

752
00:36:15,727 --> 00:36:17,290
The only thing

753
00:36:17,575 --> 00:36:19,048
that will make you happy,

754
00:36:19,409 --> 00:36:22,085
you lost the moment you
slept with Jenny Humphrey.

755
00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:25,543
And that was the best thing
that ever happened to me,

756
00:36:25,544 --> 00:36:26,496
because...

757
00:36:28,223 --> 00:36:30,614
I got over you forever.

758
00:36:30,827 --> 00:36:31,567
If that's the truth,

759
00:36:31,568 --> 00:36:33,591
then why haven't you
told anyone about Jenny?

760
00:36:34,223 --> 00:36:36,943
Not your family, not your minions,

761
00:36:37,188 --> 00:36:38,628
not Gossip Girl.

762
00:36:40,241 --> 00:36:42,941
I know you're not keeping
that secret to protect me.

763
00:36:43,460 --> 00:36:44,521
You wouldn't.

764
00:36:45,482 --> 00:36:49,166
That revelation would
result in mutual destruction.

765
00:36:49,167 --> 00:36:51,167
You may be homicidal,
but you're not suicidal.

766
00:36:52,765 --> 00:36:56,752
A man with nothing to live
for is capable of anything.

767
00:37:09,723 --> 00:37:11,909
I'm gonna stay with my
parents for a little while.

768
00:37:14,629 --> 00:37:16,097
That's... that's probably a good idea.

769
00:37:17,191 --> 00:37:18,823
I think I could use
some time alone, too.

770
00:37:21,195 --> 00:37:22,281
Dan, it's really important to me

771
00:37:22,282 --> 00:37:24,706
that you know I didn't start any rumors

772
00:37:25,172 --> 00:37:26,785
or send out that e-mail.

773
00:37:27,597 --> 00:37:29,017
I-I believe you, I think.

774
00:37:29,018 --> 00:37:32,313
But it doesn't change the fact
that you didn't believe me.

775
00:37:42,893 --> 00:37:44,353
I know that now.

776
00:37:46,436 --> 00:37:49,846
It's just too bad that it took
losing you to figure it out.

777
00:38:18,551 --> 00:38:19,705
The red snapper.

778
00:38:19,706 --> 00:38:20,926
Excellent choice.

779
00:38:22,659 --> 00:38:23,618
What do you think?

780
00:38:23,619 --> 00:38:26,446
I think it's a bloody Mary
with an inferiority complex.

781
00:38:27,241 --> 00:38:28,231
Fair enough.

782
00:38:30,860 --> 00:38:31,705
So...

783
00:38:32,816 --> 00:38:34,162
Drinking alone, are we?

784
00:38:36,677 --> 00:38:38,897
You've made it pretty clear
you're out of my league.

785
00:38:39,076 --> 00:38:41,091
What do you have to lose by answering?

786
00:38:41,283 --> 00:38:44,021
I'd prefer not to encourage
this kind of behavior.

787
00:38:47,374 --> 00:38:48,402
Tell you what.

788
00:38:49,374 --> 00:38:50,517
One drink, one question.

789
00:38:50,518 --> 00:38:52,032
Tell me why you're drinking alone,

790
00:38:52,033 --> 00:38:53,612
and I'll tell you anything you want.

791
00:38:58,429 --> 00:39:01,332
I thought I could start over,

792
00:39:01,333 --> 00:39:02,753
but it turns out

793
00:39:03,124 --> 00:39:06,050
college is just high school
with more expensive books.

794
00:39:07,456 --> 00:39:09,974
There's no... starting over.

795
00:39:10,913 --> 00:39:12,251
No matter where I go,

796
00:39:12,252 --> 00:39:13,348
whatever I do,

797
00:39:14,068 --> 00:39:16,079
my past seems to follow me.

798
00:39:19,541 --> 00:39:20,521
So...

799
00:39:20,522 --> 00:39:21,647
What about you?

800
00:39:22,618 --> 00:39:24,772
Why are you with a
different girl every night?

801
00:39:26,260 --> 00:39:29,443
Because I stopped
apologizing for my past

802
00:39:29,444 --> 00:39:30,612
a long time ago.

803
00:39:32,202 --> 00:39:33,604
Does that really work?

804
00:39:33,892 --> 00:39:35,745
Does that actually make you happy?

805
00:39:37,015 --> 00:39:37,895
It did.

806
00:39:38,569 --> 00:39:40,646
* Poppin' bottles in the ice *

807
00:39:41,301 --> 00:39:44,733
* Like a blizzard * The
law of affinity refers

808
00:39:44,734 --> 00:39:47,648
to unlikely compositions forming a bond

809
00:39:47,649 --> 00:39:49,886
through a purely chemical reaction.

810
00:39:50,879 --> 00:39:51,780
?Now I'm feeling so... ?
1022 00:56: 00:56:42,698

811
00:39:51,781 --> 00:39:53,532
why didn't you stick to the plan?

812
00:39:53,823 --> 00:39:54,655
Like I said the first time,

813
00:39:54,656 --> 00:39:56,899
I thought Vanessa was the better option.

814
00:39:57,642 --> 00:39:58,731
Well, she wasn't.

815
00:39:58,732 --> 00:40:00,419
Serena didn't get expelled.

816
00:40:00,848 --> 00:40:02,217
But now I'm in with Serena,

817
00:40:02,218 --> 00:40:03,849
and I can become her confidant

818
00:40:03,850 --> 00:40:06,220
and find something even
bigger to take her down with.

819
00:40:06,368 --> 00:40:09,286
Good, 'cause now you have no choice.

820
00:40:09,870 --> 00:40:12,504
And I'd better not find out that
this was about protecting Nate.

821
00:40:12,505 --> 00:40:14,179
If you're falling for him...

822
00:40:14,602 --> 00:40:16,864
I'm not. I swear.

823
00:40:17,077 --> 00:40:18,366
* G-get them bottles poppin' *

824
00:40:18,367 --> 00:40:20,503
I guess I have to trust you.

825
00:40:20,810 --> 00:40:22,273
* Now get me two more bottles *

826
00:40:22,274 --> 00:40:23,430
Yeah, I guess you do.

827
00:40:23,431 --> 00:40:24,830
**

828
00:40:25,041 --> 00:40:28,345
But even the strongest
bonds have their limits...

829
00:40:28,346 --> 00:40:29,587
* Actin' like they drunk *

830
00:40:29,588 --> 00:40:33,868
When sober girls around me,
they be actin' like they drunk?

831
00:40:33,869 --> 00:40:36,363
* Poppin' bottles in the ice *

832
00:40:36,364 --> 00:40:37,671
and when broken...

833
00:40:37,672 --> 00:40:41,325
* When we drink, we do it
right, Gettin' slizzard *

834
00:40:41,553 --> 00:40:45,546
* Sippin' sizzurp in my ride
in my ride like three 6 *

835
00:40:45,823 --> 00:40:49,180
* Now I'm feeling so fly like a g6 *

836
00:40:49,474 --> 00:40:51,955
That 808 bump make
you put your hands up?

837
00:40:52,070 --> 00:40:53,131
You sure about this?

838
00:40:54,712 --> 00:40:58,429
Mm-hmm. Now that we know
Vanessa was behind the rumors...

839
00:41:00,366 --> 00:41:01,017
Absolutely.

840
00:41:13,821 --> 00:41:15,019
That if left unchecked...

841
00:41:20,446 --> 00:41:23,001
explode like a nuclear bomb.

842
00:41:26,093 --> 00:41:28,312
Veronica, do you still
work with Tim Gunn?

843
00:41:29,021 --> 00:41:30,045
I need to get an interview for someone

844
00:41:30,142 --> 00:41:32,080
who will be applying to Parsons.

845
00:41:34,139 --> 00:41:34,769
Perfect.

846
00:41:35,832 --> 00:41:37,857
Yeah, her name's Jenny Humphrey.

847
00:41:39,890 --> 00:41:40,530
Thanks.

848
00:41:40,531 --> 00:41:42,320
<i>Waiting for the fallout.</i>

849
00:41:42,321 --> 00:41:44,886
<i>X.O.X.O., Gossip G.</i>

850
00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:51,883
Sync by YYeTs.net www.addic7ed.com

