1 00:00:00,260 --> 00:00:01,470 Gossip Girl here. 2 00:00:01,490 --> 00:00:04,229 Your one and only source in the scandalous lives 3 00:00:04,230 --> 00:00:05,640 of Manhattan's elite. 4 00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,560 You two used to be in love. Together, you were invincible. 5 00:00:08,580 --> 00:00:10,060 But now that you've turned against each other, 6 00:00:10,061 --> 00:00:12,880 it's just a matter of time before your mutual destruction. 7 00:00:12,910 --> 00:00:13,710 Truce? 8 00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:15,479 Now I'm in with Serena, 9 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,610 and I can find something even bigger to take her down with. 10 00:00:17,630 --> 00:00:19,290 Ben's not my boyfriend. 11 00:00:19,330 --> 00:00:21,640 Please, you're different than anyone I've even known. 12 00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:23,239 Just save it, okay? 13 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,420 'Cause you're exactly like everyone I've ever known. 14 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,640 All good things are worth waiting for, aren't they? 15 00:00:27,641 --> 00:00:29,500 Our new psychology of business professor 16 00:00:29,501 --> 00:00:31,130 is Colin, the guy from last night. 17 00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:33,249 Cab guy? What are the odds? 18 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,780 Relationships with faculty are strictly forbidden. 19 00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:37,170 I'm willing to wait if you are. 20 00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:40,170 Well, then, teacher, I'll see you Monday. 21 00:00:56,340 --> 00:00:58,629 Rise and shine, Upper East Siders. 22 00:00:58,630 --> 00:01:00,390 It's officially fall. 23 00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:02,629 And when the leaves start to turn, 24 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,600 we know it's time for B.'s birthday. 25 00:01:14,810 --> 00:01:17,340 We hope Serena will be there to celebrate, 26 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,939 but we hear she's having 27 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:22,050 her own private party with a professor. 28 00:01:23,430 --> 00:01:25,170 So you're from Maine? 29 00:01:25,270 --> 00:01:28,220 I grew up on a boat. Not a yacht. A trawler. 30 00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:29,970 My family's in lobsters. 31 00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,950 I love "The Deadliest Catch." 32 00:01:32,870 --> 00:01:35,170 Okay, so how did you get from there to here? 33 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,580 Yeah, it was all my dad. 34 00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,110 He never graduated high school, 35 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,460 so he made sure I didn't make the same mistake. 36 00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:43,460 And the rest of your family? 37 00:01:43,461 --> 00:01:46,160 Still adrift, in more ways than one. 38 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,709 Do I sense a little mystery there? 39 00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:51,719 So you came from nothing and now here you are... 40 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,589 this big finance guy 41 00:01:53,590 --> 00:01:55,940 traveling the world with a killer art collection. 42 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:56,770 Favorite book? 43 00:01:57,550 --> 00:02:01,519 "Mergers, acquisitions, and corporate restructurings." 44 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,389 Really? 45 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,830 You just became my next project. 46 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,860 Tomorrow, we'll have 47 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,550 a music and most embarrassing moments. 48 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:13,770 Unless... 49 00:02:13,771 --> 00:02:14,920 We can do this, Serena. 50 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,530 Six more weeks. 51 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:23,340 I'll see you tomorrow. 52 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:30,250 Happy to have you home, miss Eleanor. 53 00:02:32,130 --> 00:02:36,429 You didn't think I would miss throwing my only child 54 00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:38,019 a 20th birthday party? 55 00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:39,090 Mother, you do know that 56 00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:41,630 my actual birthday isn't until next week, don't you? 57 00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:45,659 23 hours of labor. 58 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:47,430 I am not likely to forget. 59 00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:50,060 Cyrus and I have tickets to the Palais Garnier. 60 00:02:50,110 --> 00:02:50,710 So I thought, 61 00:02:50,711 --> 00:02:53,060 better an early birthday bash than a belated one. 62 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,149 It is a shame that the party 63 00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:57,590 will fall on the same night as Lily and Rufus' anniversary, 64 00:02:57,591 --> 00:03:00,890 but so goes event planning in Manhattan. 65 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:04,090 Cyrus sent you this present. 66 00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:14,360 A signed copy of "This I Remember." 67 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,890 What a fitting gift. 68 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:18,470 It is time that I claim my rightful role 69 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,190 as power player on the world stage, 70 00:03:20,191 --> 00:03:21,490 just like little Nell did. 71 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:25,129 Tonight's party is going to be as glamorous and sophisticated 72 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:27,280 as its guest of honor. 73 00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:29,120 Mmm. Dorota, come. 74 00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:31,750 We have just enough time for a dramatic reading of page one 75 00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:32,930 before I have to meet Serena. 76 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,650 So you seem pretty eager to get together this morning. 77 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,970 What? Your... your first anniversary's a big deal. 78 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,530 And I-I figured maybe you could use my help planning, 79 00:03:44,531 --> 00:03:46,390 and maybe I needed to get out of the house. 80 00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:48,370 Vanessa just got back from the commune. 81 00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:50,050 You guys talk? 82 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,250 Oh, if saying "hey" and "excuse me" 83 00:03:52,251 --> 00:03:53,240 counts as talking. 84 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:56,810 Worst thing is, she... she tried to get back into campus housing, 85 00:03:57,050 --> 00:03:59,560 but, uh, the deadline past. 86 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,610 Oh, so now you're roomies with your ex. 87 00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:04,229 Yeah. Hey, how would you and Lily feel about celebrating, 88 00:04:04,230 --> 00:04:05,660 uh, with a... with a nice family road trip? 89 00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:08,849 Actually, uh, we decided to order in tonight 90 00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:10,110 and just have a quiet evening alone. 91 00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:11,740 Oh, I-I thought you said, um, 92 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,240 it's really important to celebrate with the whole family. 93 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,119 We did, but Jenny has a big test she has to study for 94 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,300 and can't make it back to the city. 95 00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:19,170 And it doesn't feel right 96 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,810 having a family celebration without her. 97 00:04:20,811 --> 00:04:22,180 I know the first wedding anniversary's 98 00:04:22,181 --> 00:04:24,190 supposed to be paper, but that's not really an excuse 99 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:25,910 to... to eat out of cartons. 100 00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:27,890 We'll celebrate together some other time 101 00:04:27,891 --> 00:04:31,430 when Jenny's back home. I'm gonna head off, 102 00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:34,310 find lil some flowers, try to make this special. 103 00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:40,680 What class has a test on a Saturday? 104 00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:43,059 That would be fear of Chuck and Blair 101. 105 00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:44,080 And after the year we've had, 106 00:04:44,081 --> 00:04:45,630 I think it would mean a lot to my dad and Lily 107 00:04:45,631 --> 00:04:47,980 to get the family together. There's... there's gotta be a way 108 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,620 that we can get Jenny to come in, right? 109 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,890 Maybe Chuck could help. 110 00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:53,400 Right, like he did last time? 111 00:04:53,470 --> 00:04:56,829 He loves my mom, and as long as Chuck and Blair are at war, 112 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,700 he's on our side. 113 00:05:01,070 --> 00:05:02,960 Did you get a haircut? It looks different. 114 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:05,580 No, just happy, I guess. 115 00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:07,280 Well, if I know you, 116 00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:08,980 there's a guy at the end of that story. 117 00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:13,729 Well, I might be seeing someone... kind of. 118 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,470 What is he doing here? 119 00:05:14,510 --> 00:05:15,470 What's she doing here? 120 00:05:15,471 --> 00:05:16,820 And who brought the avon lady? 121 00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:18,650 She's a court stenographer. 122 00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:20,000 There's a notary on the way. 123 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:22,429 We've witnessed the Waldorf/Bass wars firsthand. 124 00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:24,900 We know you both. You have nuclear capability. 125 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,210 Sooner or later, one of you is gonna press the other's button, 126 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,600 and we're gonna end up with nothing but cockroaches. 127 00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:30,990 You know, we're way ahead of you. 128 00:05:30,991 --> 00:05:32,270 Yeah, we're in a truce. 129 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,250 Which is why we figured you wouldn't have a problem 130 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,250 making it official... 131 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:38,260 A peace treaty based on more than just a handshake. 132 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,380 So that's why we're gonna sit down 133 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,270 and hammer out the provisions of a cease-fire. 134 00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,630 And if either of you decide to break the treaty... 135 00:05:43,631 --> 00:05:45,790 He or she will be excommunicated. 136 00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:47,190 We'll no longer be your friends. 137 00:05:48,650 --> 00:05:51,779 Well, I suppose as I leave my teens, 138 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:53,490 that I should start to think about my legacy. 139 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,200 I have no objection to order in the kingdom. 140 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,590 Let the negotiations begin. 141 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:01,930 If you give me the standard on weeknights, 142 00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:04,560 I'll give you the Carlyle for the entire Christmas season. 143 00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:07,919 Done, but I want an addendum that you can't bed hostesses 144 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,810 from a roster of restaurants I frequent. 145 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,610 You can't have fashion week in both Paris and Milan. 146 00:06:12,611 --> 00:06:13,790 You have to choose. 147 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:16,530 Never, but I will give you art basel 148 00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,319 in Miami and Switzerland. 149 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,819 Okay, moving on to article 47... 150 00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:22,659 Strip clubs in the outer boroughs. 151 00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:23,480 Sidebar. 152 00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:33,409 Why are we sidebar-ing? 153 00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:34,980 Do you really want access to strip clubs? 154 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,150 No, I just don't want to seem 155 00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:37,740 like I'm ceding territory too easily. 156 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:40,220 So pretend like we're talking about something serious, 157 00:06:40,221 --> 00:06:42,779 like my birthday, or have you figured out 158 00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,450 that anniversary situation? 159 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:46,660 B., what can I do? They're already planning a family thing. 160 00:06:46,661 --> 00:06:47,550 Unacceptable... 161 00:06:47,930 --> 00:06:50,070 Just like that sex glow you're sporting. 162 00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:53,260 There was no sex. Just coffee. 163 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,459 Coffee is the thing you have before you pay the check 164 00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:57,290 to go have sex. 165 00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,989 It's different. Colin is... 166 00:06:58,990 --> 00:06:59,860 Our professor? 167 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,769 The one you promised to stay away from 168 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,719 except where class is concerned? 169 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,720 Which is why we're only meeting during office hours. 170 00:07:06,721 --> 00:07:09,010 You are one macchiato away from making the same mistake 171 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:11,050 that you always make, and I won't be an accomplice, 172 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,590 especially not on my almost-birthday. 173 00:07:12,591 --> 00:07:15,120 Okay, fine, then I won't mention him anymore. 174 00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:45,560 I cede the strip clubs. 175 00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:47,470 Ugh. Then that concludes the treaty. 176 00:07:47,540 --> 00:07:50,880 Actually, there's one more point I want to negotiate... in private. 177 00:07:51,510 --> 00:07:52,820 Attorneys, you're dismissed. 178 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,510 Well, I guess we know why Chuck didn't answer the phone. 179 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,070 Of course Chuck and Blair go to war 180 00:08:10,071 --> 00:08:11,360 and end up happier than ever, 181 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:13,860 leaving Jenny and our family in a pile of rubble. 182 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,480 Yeah, it figures. Rubble's their specialty. 183 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:19,389 Although... peace time would be 184 00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:21,240 the perfect opportunity for a stealth strike. 185 00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,500 Oh, come on. How good would it feel 186 00:08:23,501 --> 00:08:25,300 to finally give them a taste of their own medicine? 187 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,900 Not that we're the ones to give it to them. 188 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:31,230 Well, hold on a second. What's wrong with us? 189 00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:34,350 I mean, I've picked up a-a few skills over the years, 190 00:08:34,351 --> 00:08:36,760 and you come from a long line of world-class schemers. 191 00:08:36,761 --> 00:08:37,910 We have righteousness 192 00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:40,579 and our parents' anniversary on our side. 193 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,930 No offense, Dan, but we are no match for Chuck and Blair. 194 00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:44,950 Mm, I don't know about that. 195 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,400 Seems like leaves 196 00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:51,670 aren't the only things changing colors this fall. 197 00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:55,750 So that's it. The war is over. 198 00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:59,660 No more blackmail, angry asides, or sadistic schemes. 199 00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:01,760 We're not a couple. We're not at war. 200 00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:05,099 We officially have no reason to interact beyond social niceties. 201 00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,430 What a huge relief. 202 00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:07,630 I guess this is good-bye. 203 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:11,250 Let us not forget article 19... 204 00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:13,340 No touching. Take care, Chuck. 205 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,350 Serena! 206 00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:47,720 Oh, are you picking up something for Blair's birthday? 207 00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:51,129 A first edition? That's really thoughtful. 208 00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:52,530 Actually, Blair's getting 209 00:09:52,531 --> 00:09:53,990 a special delivery from Bergdorf's. 210 00:09:53,991 --> 00:09:54,950 This is for a professor. 211 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,470 That's an awfully nice gift for a professor. 212 00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,600 You must really like his lectures. 213 00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:03,360 Or... that's not all you like. 214 00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:06,820 I may have a small crush. 215 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:08,740 Tell me everything! 216 00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,449 I've been there myself, so no judgments, 217 00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:12,990 and my lips are sealed. 218 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:15,700 Well, nothing's happened, and nothing's going to happen... 219 00:10:15,701 --> 00:10:17,540 At least, not while he's my teacher. 220 00:10:17,541 --> 00:10:19,580 I would never put my academic future at risk. 221 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:20,650 Then what are you doing? 222 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,940 Just talking, getting to know each other 223 00:10:23,941 --> 00:10:26,380 until the semester's over. The waiting is... 224 00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:27,610 Actually amazing. 225 00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:29,760 Wow. That's great. 226 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,900 Does he feel the same way? 227 00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:34,390 What do you mean? 228 00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:36,880 All books, no sex? 229 00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:40,259 I-I hate to be the bearer of bad news, 230 00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:43,199 but he's a guy, and guys don't wait. 231 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,780 So if he's not getting it from you, then... 232 00:10:44,781 --> 00:10:46,140 There's no way. He's, um... 233 00:10:46,141 --> 00:10:46,970 different. 234 00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:50,160 Well, if not, I'm here for advice. 235 00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:52,130 Thank you. 236 00:10:52,131 --> 00:10:54,240 You're welcome. Bye. 237 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:11,740 Got it. 238 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,030 Its genius is in its simplicity. 239 00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:20,150 We break the truce, drive a wedge between them. 240 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,440 Then once the peace is off, 241 00:11:21,441 --> 00:11:23,969 Chuck will be primed to help Jenny in retaliation. 242 00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:26,119 Okay, so what would enrage Chuck Bass? 243 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,970 His maybe mother? His late father? Jack Bass. 244 00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:30,130 That's perfect. 245 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,620 Gossip Girl will be thrilled to hear about a secret fling 246 00:11:32,621 --> 00:11:34,950 with Jack and Blair last summer in the south of France, 247 00:11:34,951 --> 00:11:37,450 or how they're planning to do it again this Christmas. 248 00:11:37,451 --> 00:11:39,650 Nice touch. Are you sure we aren't really related? 249 00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:43,720 All right, so I run into Chuck, 250 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,830 offer my condolences that Blair can't be trusted, 251 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,350 suggest the best way to retaliate is 252 00:11:47,351 --> 00:11:50,879 offer amnesty to Jenny, and as an added bonus, my dad and Lily 253 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,559 get the first anniversary they deserve. 254 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,300 Let's see how strong the holy alliance is 255 00:11:55,301 --> 00:11:56,490 after this air strike. 256 00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:06,660 Hello? 257 00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:08,080 Surprise! It's me! 258 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,300 Serena, I don't think coming here is a good idea. 259 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:18,540 I'm just dropping off a copy of my favorite book, 260 00:12:18,541 --> 00:12:20,090 "The Beautiful and Damned." 261 00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:25,930 Where is she? I know she's up here. 262 00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:28,350 Serena, meet... 263 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,420 Ilana. 264 00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:31,900 My housekeeper. 265 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,730 You, uh, were jealous of my housekeeper. 266 00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:38,860 I saw you get her from a cab. 267 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,760 I always pay her cab fare. 268 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,270 Stop smiling. 269 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:46,659 She's gorgeous, and I'm going a little crazy here. 270 00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,510 I know. Me, too. 271 00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:51,670 Let's be honest. 272 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,140 We may sit across from each other, 273 00:12:53,141 --> 00:12:54,840 talking about bagels versus brioche, 274 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:56,650 but all we're thinking... 275 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,700 Is what it would be like to have breakfast in bed? 276 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,350 Okay, as much as it... it kills me to say this, 277 00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:05,510 no more office hours. 278 00:13:05,810 --> 00:13:08,090 I just can't be alone in a room with you. 279 00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:10,120 So other than class, 280 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,730 I'll see you in six weeks. 281 00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:15,549 Other than tonight. The dean just e-mailed 282 00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:18,300 that my presence is requested at a party 283 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:19,930 apparently at your place. 284 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,990 You're invited to Blair's birthday? 285 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,929 S., I can't talk now. 286 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:27,019 Did you invite the entire Columbia faculty 287 00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:27,980 to your party tonight? 288 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:30,190 I may have invited the dean and whomever she favors. 289 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:31,980 Why do you care? You're not going. 290 00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:35,700 Well, the anniversary party was canceled, so yes, I am. 291 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,179 And now it turns out so is Colin. 292 00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:40,890 Unless you mean Firth or Farrell, I'm not listening, 293 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,980 the dean will be there. Need I say more? 294 00:13:49,550 --> 00:13:53,619 Chuck. Hey. Uh, hey, man. I was just stopping by to see Nate. 295 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:54,770 But I-I guess he's not here. 296 00:13:54,771 --> 00:13:55,680 He's in his room. 297 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,849 Oh, he is? He's not... he's not at class? I would've thought... 298 00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:02,000 You really don't know how to stage a run-in, do you? 299 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,220 Cut to the chase. 300 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,099 Well, uh, since Blair betrayed you with your uncle, 301 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,310 I thought maybe you could betray her back, 302 00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:11,500 call my sister, offer her protection. 303 00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:14,690 Well, you're just about six months late for that, 304 00:14:14,691 --> 00:14:15,550 aren't ya, Humphrey? 305 00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:19,330 Hey, I, uh, I didn't expect to see you here. I assumed... 306 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,519 That Chuck and I would be back at war 307 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,770 after that silly "Gossip Girl" blast? 308 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,160 It was obviously fake. 309 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,890 What gave you that idea? 310 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:32,230 We have enemies, Humphrey. 311 00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:33,580 All powerful people do. 312 00:14:33,610 --> 00:14:36,220 We anticipated someone would try to mess with us. 313 00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:37,460 And this handiwork 314 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,690 has your lying little sister's fingerprints all over it. 315 00:14:39,691 --> 00:14:42,249 Besides, Jack Bass wasn't in France last summer. 316 00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:43,250 He was in Chile. 317 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,190 Again, uh, how did you know that? 318 00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:46,790 I must've read about it somewhere. 319 00:14:47,090 --> 00:14:49,589 Regardless, this incident inspired us to add 320 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,719 a new addendum to the treaty. The notary just left. 321 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,970 Now wait wait a second. There... there... there's a treaty? 322 00:14:54,971 --> 00:14:55,960 Like an actual legal document? 323 00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:59,329 Humphrey, the intricacies of our war games 324 00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:02,590 are too complex for prole like you to fathom. 325 00:15:02,810 --> 00:15:05,220 As an additional gesture of trust, Chuck, 326 00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:07,850 I would like to invite you to my birthday party this evening. 327 00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:09,329 I gratefully accept. 328 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:14,600 And since Gothic Barbie remains safely quarantined upstate, 329 00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:17,330 feel free to stop by if you're feeling lonely. 330 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,260 Serena. Hey. 331 00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:27,920 So it turns out you were wrong about the professor. 332 00:15:27,921 --> 00:15:31,399 He is waiting for me. But waiting is not easy. 333 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,720 I don't trust myself to be in a room with him. 334 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,190 I'm sorry. Normally, I would talk to Blair about this, 335 00:15:36,191 --> 00:15:38,080 but she doesn't approve. 336 00:15:38,110 --> 00:15:39,840 Some people are such prudes. 337 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:41,550 Yeah. 338 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:44,060 Well, anyway, we agreed to stay away from each other, 339 00:15:44,061 --> 00:15:46,260 but tonight we both have to go to Blair's birthday, 340 00:15:46,261 --> 00:15:49,010 and a lot of faculty are going, including the dean. 341 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,510 The dean? No kidding. 342 00:15:52,890 --> 00:15:55,180 I get it. What you need is a buffer... 343 00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:57,320 Someone to stay by your side, distract you, 344 00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:59,510 make sure you two are never alone all night. 345 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:01,460 I'm happy to help. 346 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,030 Really? Thank you. 347 00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:04,030 Of course, although 348 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,700 I'm not sure how Blair will feel about me being at her party. 349 00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:08,110 Well, you'll be my guest. 350 00:16:08,111 --> 00:16:10,560 And... and maybe it's a good idea. She'll get to know the real you. 351 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,460 Thank you. 352 00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:14,490 My pleasure. You've put yourself in the right hands. 353 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,379 Uh-oh. Juliet's plans are falling into place, 354 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:19,230 and S. is primed for a fall. 355 00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:27,210 Hey, man, do you know anything about, uh, 356 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,430 Chuck and Blair's so-called peace treaty? 357 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,180 Yeah, of course. It was my idea. 358 00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:33,080 You know, they're really trying to change. 359 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:37,760 I highly doubt that, but do you by any chance know what's in it? 360 00:16:37,810 --> 00:16:39,130 I'm sorry, man. I can't tell you that. 361 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,350 I gave my word I'd guard it. 362 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,620 Security's coming to pick it up and put it in the safe. 363 00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:44,440 Anyway, there's stuff in there 364 00:16:44,441 --> 00:16:45,720 Serena and I don't even know about. 365 00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:46,760 Chuck and Blair made us leave early. 366 00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:49,540 Wait a second. You saw Serena? I thought we agreed. 367 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,629 You don't have to worry about it, okay? 368 00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:52,910 She's seeing someone else. 369 00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:57,480 Can we talk about this later? I'm late for class. 370 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,070 Yeah. 371 00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:06,860 Nate thought he and Humphrey were thick as thieves. 372 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:10,790 Turns out Humphrey's a thief, and Nate's just thick. 373 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,570 Just the man I was looking for. 374 00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:16,430 Hey. 375 00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:22,810 So I assume you're going to Blair's birthday party tonight? 376 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:27,179 Yep. Solo, now that things are over with Juliet. 377 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,270 That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. 378 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,790 Um, she's gonna be my date. 379 00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:34,170 I thought she left me for someone else. 380 00:17:34,171 --> 00:17:35,350 I didn't know it was you. 381 00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,410 Come on. That guy I was telling you about... 382 00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:41,840 Uh, we're... we're trying to stay away from each other, 383 00:17:41,841 --> 00:17:45,949 and he's gonna be there tonight, so Juliet offered to chaperone 384 00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:47,310 so that I stay strong. 385 00:17:47,430 --> 00:17:49,950 Well, if all you need is a buffer, let me take you. 386 00:17:50,210 --> 00:17:51,740 Well, I don't want to make him jealous. 387 00:17:52,090 --> 00:17:54,199 No, we're just friends. Let's be honest. 388 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,170 It's better to have a guy protect you from another guy. 389 00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:58,200 You do have a point. 390 00:17:58,201 --> 00:18:00,879 I know I do, plus I'd rather not run into Juliet, 391 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,180 so you'd be doing me a favor, too. 392 00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:04,030 Okay. 393 00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,569 Juliet, hey. Uh, change of plans. 394 00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:14,730 I actually don't need your help anymore tonight. 395 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:15,750 Are you sure? 396 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,290 Yeah, yeah, so you can go back to whatever it is 397 00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:20,870 I took you away from doing. Thank you, though. 398 00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:21,880 Yeah. 399 00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:23,140 Bye-bye. 400 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,630 You put gladiolas in my cabbage roses?! 401 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,030 The Waldorf's is not a best Western. 402 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:48,170 Get them out. 403 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,580 Darling, I just got off the phone with Rufus and Lily. 404 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,660 I told them if they can't be with family, 405 00:18:54,661 --> 00:18:56,570 they might as well be with friends. 406 00:18:56,571 --> 00:18:58,230 We have to do something special for them. 407 00:18:58,231 --> 00:19:01,179 I suppose powerful women can afford to be generous. 408 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,900 So I'll have to think of some kind of anniversary surprise. 409 00:19:03,930 --> 00:19:05,020 How's the guest list coming? 410 00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:08,559 Everyone's who's anyone will be here. 411 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,710 But I-I couldn't help but notice 412 00:19:09,711 --> 00:19:13,479 a certain Charles Bass has been added to the list. 413 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,730 Blair, we don't need any trouble. 414 00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:17,630 He'll be no trouble, mother. He and I are good. 415 00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:21,710 Yeah, so good you have been berating the help all day. 416 00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,030 I'm not berating anyone! 417 00:19:23,060 --> 00:19:25,440 I just want to be sure that the party is perfect. 418 00:19:27,030 --> 00:19:28,270 Your dress, miss Blair. 419 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,180 Are you kidding? 420 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,320 What part of "J. Mendel" did you not understand? 421 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,830 Actually, dear, I picked it out. 422 00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:38,860 Dorota... 423 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,540 What's going on with me? 424 00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:43,530 You aren't fighting with Mr. Chuck, 425 00:19:43,531 --> 00:19:45,220 so you fight with everyone else. 426 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,760 Take it upstairs. 427 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,310 That's their biggest secret? 428 00:19:57,550 --> 00:19:58,790 I-I was expecting something 429 00:19:58,791 --> 00:20:00,120 a little bit more "American Psycho"... 430 00:20:00,121 --> 00:20:01,910 not stabbing a homeless man, 431 00:20:01,973 --> 00:20:04,183 but at least feeding a cat to an A.T.M. 432 00:20:04,184 --> 00:20:05,479 A birthday surprise may be in order. 433 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,490 I think all it'll take is a couple of calls. 434 00:20:08,494 --> 00:20:11,938 Look, Dan, I know we want Jenny to come in for the anniversary, 435 00:20:11,939 --> 00:20:14,072 but she fought back last week and nearly lost 436 00:20:14,073 --> 00:20:16,569 everything she learned. You told her that yourself. 437 00:20:17,777 --> 00:20:19,413 Uh, maybe we shouldn't risk the same. 438 00:20:19,582 --> 00:20:21,490 No, we should. They deserve it. 439 00:20:21,491 --> 00:20:24,412 They're... they're... they're smug and they are condescending. 440 00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:26,462 They have treaties. And we're doing it for Jenny. 441 00:20:27,388 --> 00:20:29,548 Dan, we tried. It didn't work. 442 00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:32,740 I'm out, and I-I-I hope you are, too. 443 00:20:41,154 --> 00:20:44,373 Hi. Uh, hi. Rita. This is Dan, Rufus Humphrey's son. 444 00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:46,342 Yeah, I hope you don't mind me calling, but, uh, 445 00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:49,128 I have a very good friend with a birthday party tonight, 446 00:20:49,656 --> 00:20:51,397 and... and I was hoping I could get your help. 447 00:20:51,465 --> 00:20:53,730 Yeah, do you still work at Interscope? 448 00:20:53,731 --> 00:20:56,507 Looks like Brooklyn's in it to win it. 449 00:20:56,901 --> 00:20:58,687 Just what is it exactly? 450 00:20:58,755 --> 00:21:00,839 Guess we'll find out tonight. 451 00:21:15,688 --> 00:21:16,899 Zee! 452 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:17,583 Zoe! 453 00:21:17,584 --> 00:21:18,259 Hi, love. 454 00:21:18,774 --> 00:21:20,306 Now I know it's a party. 455 00:21:20,307 --> 00:21:22,255 Oh, stop. You look... so chic. 456 00:21:22,256 --> 00:21:23,513 Cheers. Thanks. 457 00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:24,604 Hi. Hi. 458 00:21:27,566 --> 00:21:28,980 Hi. 459 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:34,251 Dean Reuther, I am so thrilled you could make it. 460 00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:35,655 Happy Birthday, Blair. 461 00:21:35,848 --> 00:21:38,412 The guest list is inspired. 462 00:21:38,629 --> 00:21:41,903 Thank you for inviting me... And my faculty. 463 00:21:41,904 --> 00:21:43,147 Well, thank you, 464 00:21:43,148 --> 00:21:45,581 and I hope you get a chance to chat with Patricia Ireland. 465 00:21:45,582 --> 00:21:47,319 I think she'd be really interested in that paper you 466 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,891 wrote for "Yale Law Review" on planned parenthood v. Casey. 467 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:50,973 You read that? 468 00:21:51,151 --> 00:21:52,349 Of course. 469 00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:54,402 Every woman who cares about her right to choose should. 470 00:21:54,403 --> 00:21:54,959 You know, Blair, 471 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,437 I think another we should get to know each other better. 472 00:21:57,438 --> 00:21:59,563 I'll have my assistant set up lunch. 473 00:22:02,858 --> 00:22:03,792 No. 474 00:22:03,859 --> 00:22:04,926 Okay. 475 00:22:05,010 --> 00:22:06,511 O.M.G. 476 00:22:06,562 --> 00:22:09,940 The last girl the dean took to lunch became C.E.O. of Pepsi. 477 00:22:13,730 --> 00:22:14,530 Here you go. 478 00:22:15,012 --> 00:22:17,514 I was happy with eating shun Lee out of the carton, Lil. 479 00:22:17,515 --> 00:22:20,090 This is all just very Upper East Side. 480 00:22:20,091 --> 00:22:21,615 Look, I know you think you're rock 'n' roll, 481 00:22:21,616 --> 00:22:23,980 but you are wearing a $2,000 jacket. 482 00:22:23,981 --> 00:22:26,448 Happy anniversary... 483 00:22:26,449 --> 00:22:27,371 Oh! Thank you. 484 00:22:27,372 --> 00:22:28,020 To you! 485 00:22:29,038 --> 00:22:31,473 That's a gorgeous... blazer. 486 00:22:37,778 --> 00:22:38,602 Thanks for getting me in, 487 00:22:38,603 --> 00:22:40,662 but I should go before anybody sees us together. 488 00:22:40,663 --> 00:22:41,887 Of course. Have fun. 489 00:22:54,927 --> 00:22:57,992 That guy I told you about is here. Please distract me. 490 00:22:57,993 --> 00:22:58,825 Okay. 491 00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:01,461 Don't look over there, but my lit professor... 492 00:23:01,462 --> 00:23:03,197 Look at his pants. Look at 'em. 493 00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:05,452 I bet you 10 bucks they're held up with a rubber band. 494 00:23:05,453 --> 00:23:07,959 He wears them every single day. Yeah, it's ridiculous. 495 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,571 Dan, hey. I didn't realize you were coming. 496 00:23:10,777 --> 00:23:12,529 Yeah, it was kind of a last minute thing. 497 00:23:12,530 --> 00:23:15,185 I-I, uh, I didn't know you were coming together. 498 00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:17,109 Oh, no. We're... we're not... 499 00:23:17,110 --> 00:23:18,219 You know something? I'm gonna go... I'm gonna 500 00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:20,538 hit the cheese table. I'll see you later. 501 00:23:22,755 --> 00:23:23,714 Serena. 502 00:23:24,423 --> 00:23:25,445 Hi. 503 00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:28,650 So... this is your new buffer. 504 00:23:28,651 --> 00:23:30,552 Yeah. I didn't know you were still coming. 505 00:23:30,553 --> 00:23:33,850 I came with a friend. It's nice to see you two having fun. 506 00:23:33,851 --> 00:23:36,556 Yeah, well, you're not exactly dying of loneliness. 507 00:23:36,602 --> 00:23:37,290 Nate... 508 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,582 Can you give us a moment, please? 509 00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:41,608 Yeah. 510 00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:45,299 I'm... I'm sorry. 511 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,505 I hope it's not too awkward that I came with him. 512 00:23:47,506 --> 00:23:50,182 I know things are difficult between you two right now. 513 00:23:50,183 --> 00:23:52,959 No, it's okay. I'm... I'm not worried about Nate. 514 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,621 So... where is the mysterious professor? 515 00:23:56,888 --> 00:23:58,726 Hmm? Which one is he? 516 00:23:58,727 --> 00:24:00,737 I'm not gonna tell you that. 517 00:24:01,806 --> 00:24:04,166 Nate's gone off and left you alone. 518 00:24:04,167 --> 00:24:05,790 How am I supposed to step in to be your backup 519 00:24:05,791 --> 00:24:07,915 if I don't know who to protect you from? 520 00:24:09,493 --> 00:24:11,732 Okay, but you can't tell anyone. 521 00:24:11,733 --> 00:24:14,020 I could kill the caterer. 522 00:24:14,021 --> 00:24:16,499 The appetizer tray looks like a Rorschach test. 523 00:24:17,364 --> 00:24:19,311 You! You're... you're the one 524 00:24:19,312 --> 00:24:22,353 who did such a wonderful job at the fashion's night out. 525 00:24:22,354 --> 00:24:24,905 Come. Help me with those trays. 526 00:24:30,946 --> 00:24:33,497 Why are you talking to that horrible Juliet, 527 00:24:33,498 --> 00:24:34,922 and what are you doing here with Nate? 528 00:24:34,923 --> 00:24:37,493 Well, you'll be happy to know that Colin and I... 529 00:24:37,494 --> 00:24:39,311 Hey! My ears don't register his name. 530 00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:40,815 Are trying to stay away from each other, 531 00:24:40,816 --> 00:24:42,681 which is why I brought Nate as a buffer. 532 00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:44,197 And since you won't listen to my Colin problems, 533 00:24:44,198 --> 00:24:45,445 I had to go to Juliet for advice. 534 00:24:45,446 --> 00:24:48,424 Serena, do you have amnesia? Juliet isn't your friend. 535 00:24:48,425 --> 00:24:50,195 She's actually proven to be a pretty good friend 536 00:24:50,196 --> 00:24:52,410 since she saved me from Vanessa's takedown. 537 00:24:52,411 --> 00:24:54,293 Oh, please, if I want to hear fiction, 538 00:24:54,294 --> 00:24:57,109 I'll go talk to Jonathan Franzen. In fact... 539 00:25:12,631 --> 00:25:14,359 Son! What are you doing here? 540 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:16,390 I could say the same to you. I-I thought you were 541 00:25:16,391 --> 00:25:19,471 gonna be having your romantic night alone at home. 542 00:25:19,472 --> 00:25:21,892 Eleanor convinced them to come celebrate among friends. 543 00:25:21,893 --> 00:25:24,845 Oh, no. But... but... but you... but you can't stay here. 544 00:25:24,906 --> 00:25:26,053 It'd be bad luck. 545 00:25:26,054 --> 00:25:28,499 You know, everything here is on China and crystal. You gotta... 546 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:31,236 You gotta go home and celebrate on paper plates as planned. 547 00:25:31,237 --> 00:25:34,771 You know, I am surprised that you are so superstitious, Dan. 548 00:25:34,772 --> 00:25:37,390 Let's face it. Our plan to stay at home was pretty depressing. 549 00:25:37,391 --> 00:25:38,590 Yeah, let's go check out 550 00:25:38,591 --> 00:25:40,442 those cookies in the shape of Blair's shoes. 551 00:25:40,933 --> 00:25:41,873 Okay. 552 00:25:44,384 --> 00:25:46,464 Hey, why... why... why didn't you warn me they were coming? 553 00:25:46,465 --> 00:25:47,513 I didn't think I needed to. 554 00:25:47,514 --> 00:25:49,179 Oh, you didn't actually go through with it, did... 555 00:25:49,478 --> 00:25:51,734 Oh, you did. Uh, okay. 556 00:25:51,735 --> 00:25:53,823 Can... can... can you put a stop to it before it's too late? 557 00:26:00,690 --> 00:26:02,171 You look lovely tonight. 558 00:26:03,324 --> 00:26:05,599 It's so cold in here. I can barely feel my fingers. 559 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,733 Cold? I'm practically feverish. 560 00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:09,458 I must tell Dorota to turn up the air. 561 00:26:09,459 --> 00:26:10,879 Just one thing before you go. 562 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,356 I was wondering... how did you know where Jack was? 563 00:26:15,010 --> 00:26:17,046 I think I must have read it online. 564 00:26:17,047 --> 00:26:19,696 That's strange. Last I heard, he was off the grid. 565 00:26:19,697 --> 00:26:21,750 Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm entertaining. 566 00:26:29,687 --> 00:26:32,437 Good to see you, Serena. I better go find Eleanor 567 00:26:32,438 --> 00:26:34,326 before she wonders why I haven't said hello. 568 00:26:34,327 --> 00:26:36,073 Good to see you, too, Cynthia. Nice meeting you. 569 00:26:38,690 --> 00:26:42,385 Okay, see? That was a great distraction, right? 570 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,459 What are you look... what are you looking at? 571 00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:46,000 He's flirting with someone. 572 00:26:46,001 --> 00:26:47,470 Don't look at him. Look at me. 573 00:26:47,471 --> 00:26:49,639 Okay, remember when Mrs. Salazar made us memorize 574 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:50,976 the Gettysburg address? 575 00:26:51,987 --> 00:26:53,916 Look at me and recite it. 576 00:26:53,917 --> 00:26:56,267 What? Just do it. Just go. 577 00:26:56,817 --> 00:26:59,668 "Four score and... and... and seven years ago..." Okay. 578 00:26:59,669 --> 00:27:00,450 "Our fathers..." 579 00:27:00,451 --> 00:27:01,014 Don't flair your nostrils at me. 580 00:27:01,015 --> 00:27:04,625 "Brought to this continent, a new nation, uh..." 581 00:27:05,005 --> 00:27:06,688 Keep going. "Conceived in liberty..." 582 00:27:06,689 --> 00:27:07,693 You're doing well. 583 00:27:07,694 --> 00:27:09,326 "And dedicated to the proposition" 584 00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:11,228 That you are an incredible chaperone. 585 00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:11,894 I know. 586 00:27:13,144 --> 00:27:14,299 Oh, hi, darling. 587 00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:15,632 Nate, Serena, hello. 588 00:27:15,633 --> 00:27:18,239 Hey, happy anniversary. I'm so glad we can all be together. 589 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,463 Oh, thank you, darling. 590 00:27:19,464 --> 00:27:20,441 Well, it looks like you're in good hands now. 591 00:27:20,442 --> 00:27:21,508 I'll catch up with you later. 592 00:27:26,364 --> 00:27:27,325 Excuse me. 593 00:27:27,606 --> 00:27:30,517 Uh, you wouldn't happen to be Ben, would you? 594 00:27:30,914 --> 00:27:31,819 I'm sorry? 595 00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:32,843 I just saw you with Juliet. 596 00:27:32,844 --> 00:27:34,691 I figured if you're the guy she left me for, 597 00:27:34,692 --> 00:27:35,518 then your name must be... 598 00:27:35,519 --> 00:27:37,250 Ben? No. 599 00:27:37,251 --> 00:27:38,647 I'm sorry. My mistake. 600 00:27:43,045 --> 00:27:44,436 Miss, I have a note for you. 601 00:27:45,740 --> 00:27:47,546 Paper plates are bad for the environment. 602 00:27:47,547 --> 00:27:49,711 Oh, come on, Rufus. It's not gonna kill anyone 603 00:27:49,712 --> 00:27:51,368 if we use paper plates just for one day. 604 00:27:51,369 --> 00:27:53,629 Uh, excuse me. I'm going to the restroom. 605 00:27:54,308 --> 00:27:55,599 I mean, we all have to do our part. 606 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,036 When was the last time you used a paper plate? 607 00:27:57,037 --> 00:27:59,071 Nate! Come on. I need a drink. 608 00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:00,534 Yeah, the bar is right here. We can just... 609 00:28:00,535 --> 00:28:01,365 Yeah, well, screw the bar. 610 00:28:01,366 --> 00:28:03,395 We keep the good stuff in the kitchen. Come with me. 611 00:28:10,782 --> 00:28:13,504 I don't believe it. You've been seeing Ben?! 612 00:28:13,505 --> 00:28:15,877 Shh! We can't talk about this here, okay? 613 00:28:16,538 --> 00:28:17,445 Please? 614 00:28:17,870 --> 00:28:19,575 No one can see us together. 615 00:28:20,788 --> 00:28:21,795 Okay? 616 00:28:22,845 --> 00:28:23,509 Fine. 617 00:28:23,510 --> 00:28:26,264 But you bet your ass we're talking about this. 618 00:28:26,497 --> 00:28:28,964 So that is the guy that Juliet broke up with me for. 619 00:28:28,965 --> 00:28:30,486 He just lied to my face. 620 00:28:30,487 --> 00:28:32,047 Juliet's dating him, too? 621 00:28:32,796 --> 00:28:33,668 "Too"? 622 00:28:34,253 --> 00:28:35,854 So is Serena. 623 00:28:36,193 --> 00:28:38,183 I knew that Juliet was evil. 624 00:28:38,607 --> 00:28:40,122 I have to go warn Serena. 625 00:28:46,821 --> 00:28:49,300 If you left me for that guy, you can say so. 626 00:28:49,301 --> 00:28:50,647 You know, why is it such a big secret? 627 00:28:50,648 --> 00:28:52,135 It's not what you think. 628 00:28:52,833 --> 00:28:54,688 Now if you don't mind... 629 00:28:54,689 --> 00:28:58,292 No, first... you're gonna tell me what's going on. 630 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,284 You've lied to me enough. 631 00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:06,177 He's my cousin, Nate. 632 00:29:06,735 --> 00:29:08,332 And the reason we don't want people to know 633 00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:10,909 is because he's a teacher, and I'm a student... 634 00:29:10,910 --> 00:29:12,643 and he's dating Serena. 635 00:29:13,978 --> 00:29:15,379 Oh, my God. 636 00:29:15,380 --> 00:29:18,296 She borrow my tiara. She not give it back yet. 637 00:29:18,838 --> 00:29:20,042 But that's okay. 638 00:29:20,043 --> 00:29:21,402 She is 20. 639 00:29:21,902 --> 00:29:24,257 She deserve 20 tiaras. 640 00:29:24,673 --> 00:29:26,850 She has great heart, 641 00:29:26,851 --> 00:29:29,152 style, and grace... 642 00:29:29,153 --> 00:29:30,870 Even when she get mad. 643 00:29:32,842 --> 00:29:35,277 Happy Birthday, miss Blair! 644 00:29:43,081 --> 00:29:44,492 Hi, everyone. 645 00:29:44,493 --> 00:29:45,622 I'm Rita, 646 00:29:45,623 --> 00:29:48,387 and I'd also like to salute the birthday girl, 647 00:29:48,388 --> 00:29:49,610 and I brought some special friends 648 00:29:49,611 --> 00:29:51,235 to help me with the toast. 649 00:29:52,129 --> 00:29:55,514 Or... should I say "roast"? 650 00:29:56,101 --> 00:29:57,238 Who is that woman? 651 00:29:57,239 --> 00:30:00,037 Robyn. She's an incredible musician. 652 00:30:00,038 --> 00:30:01,544 Hey, I tried Rita's cell and got no answer. 653 00:30:01,545 --> 00:30:03,070 I-I-I think she's busy. 654 00:30:03,071 --> 00:30:05,760 Luckily, Robyn was working with me in New York this week 655 00:30:05,761 --> 00:30:09,753 and able to bring along a very special video of Blair. 656 00:30:11,550 --> 00:30:12,459 What is it? 657 00:30:12,460 --> 00:30:13,967 A Jack Bass sex tape? 658 00:30:13,968 --> 00:30:15,964 A Nelly Yuki snuff film? 659 00:30:16,004 --> 00:30:19,870 Let me take you back to a summer night in Stockholm, 660 00:30:19,871 --> 00:30:22,975 to an afterparty for one of Robyn's shows. 661 00:30:26,636 --> 00:30:27,869 No. 662 00:30:28,329 --> 00:30:29,144 Hey! 663 00:30:33,458 --> 00:30:34,865 Blair... just kidding! 664 00:30:34,866 --> 00:30:39,687 * And show the world * 665 00:30:39,688 --> 00:30:41,624 No! No! 666 00:30:42,524 --> 00:30:43,071 Ohh! 667 00:30:45,777 --> 00:30:47,595 Hey, Robyn. Jealous? 668 00:30:49,079 --> 00:30:50,392 Is she all right? I'm fine. 669 00:30:50,393 --> 00:30:51,495 Ohh. 670 00:30:52,135 --> 00:30:55,443 I'm coming on tour! 671 00:31:00,906 --> 00:31:02,219 I... 672 00:31:02,483 --> 00:31:03,607 Die. 673 00:31:12,543 --> 00:31:14,344 Ha ha ha! 674 00:31:20,874 --> 00:31:24,123 * Will you tell me once again? * 675 00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:27,926 How could you bring that video here? 676 00:31:27,927 --> 00:31:30,616 I'm sorry. I got a call. He said it was a roast. 677 00:31:31,010 --> 00:31:32,175 Of course he did. 678 00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:33,691 "He" who? 679 00:31:34,742 --> 00:31:36,251 Charles Bartholomew Bass. 680 00:31:36,252 --> 00:31:36,958 Who else? 681 00:31:36,959 --> 00:31:38,926 I told you not to invite him. 682 00:31:40,664 --> 00:31:45,185 * When I'm ready to give in * 683 00:31:45,186 --> 00:31:48,050 * Will you pick me up again * 684 00:31:48,504 --> 00:31:52,443 * Then I guess you can * You were flirting with that model. 685 00:31:54,977 --> 00:31:56,857 You were flirting with that lacrosse player. 686 00:31:57,218 --> 00:31:59,420 He's my friend, 687 00:31:59,421 --> 00:32:04,218 and I was just using him to stay away from you. 688 00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:06,467 You were trying to make me jealous? 689 00:32:07,310 --> 00:32:09,020 No, I wasn't. 690 00:32:09,953 --> 00:32:11,573 But were you jealous? 691 00:32:13,369 --> 00:32:14,984 We're in your bedroom. 692 00:32:16,442 --> 00:32:18,659 I don't think I can make it six weeks. 693 00:32:18,660 --> 00:32:21,805 Well, maybe staying away from each other is so hard 694 00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:25,016 because that's not what we should be doing. 695 00:32:25,017 --> 00:32:26,163 Maybe... 696 00:32:26,164 --> 00:32:27,539 * All heart...* 697 00:32:27,540 --> 00:32:29,332 I am in complete agreement. 698 00:32:29,333 --> 00:32:31,976 * Blissfully painful in insanity * 699 00:32:31,977 --> 00:32:34,647 I really want this, but not here. 700 00:32:35,841 --> 00:32:39,095 * Oh, whoa...You can hang * 701 00:32:40,238 --> 00:32:41,352 * With me * 702 00:32:48,254 --> 00:32:50,819 You know how ashamed I am of that video. 703 00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:52,296 "Stand by your man"? 704 00:32:53,311 --> 00:32:55,823 Gossip Girl is offering a cash reward. 705 00:32:55,824 --> 00:32:58,494 It only takes one video to topple an entire career. 706 00:32:58,495 --> 00:33:00,690 If you don't believe me, just YouTube "Connie Chung piano." 707 00:33:00,691 --> 00:33:01,896 Blair, just listen to me. 708 00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:03,167 Why did you do it, huh? 709 00:33:03,168 --> 00:33:05,012 Because I knew that Jack was in Chile last summer? 710 00:33:05,013 --> 00:33:08,172 I only found out because I was desperate for news of you. 711 00:33:08,173 --> 00:33:09,095 You were? 712 00:33:09,096 --> 00:33:12,211 All summer, when I was pretending not to care, 713 00:33:12,964 --> 00:33:14,620 I wanted to know where you were. 714 00:33:14,944 --> 00:33:16,215 I paid a private eye to look, 715 00:33:16,216 --> 00:33:19,080 but the only Bass he got was your scaly uncle. 716 00:33:19,081 --> 00:33:20,959 Blair, as much as I hate being at peace with you, 717 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:21,770 I didn't do this. 718 00:33:21,771 --> 00:33:24,361 If you can stand there and lie to my face, 719 00:33:24,744 --> 00:33:28,779 then you're either pure evil or just a common sociopath. 720 00:33:28,780 --> 00:33:29,670 You really believe that? 721 00:33:29,671 --> 00:33:30,957 Of course I do! 722 00:33:30,958 --> 00:33:33,967 And even if Nate and Serena peeked at the treaty, 723 00:33:33,968 --> 00:33:35,647 you're the only one with a motive. 724 00:33:35,648 --> 00:33:37,311 Actually, there was someone else. 725 00:33:37,672 --> 00:33:39,004 * Painful in insanity * 726 00:33:39,005 --> 00:33:40,140 Is this a joke? 727 00:33:40,141 --> 00:33:41,308 You did this? 728 00:33:41,309 --> 00:33:42,992 My sister doesn't feel safe to live in her own house 729 00:33:42,993 --> 00:33:45,936 or be with her parents on their anniversary. 730 00:33:45,937 --> 00:33:47,788 She was a different person before she met the two of you. 731 00:33:47,789 --> 00:33:49,814 Come on, Dan. It's not about Jenny. 732 00:33:50,043 --> 00:33:51,078 It may have started out that way, 733 00:33:51,079 --> 00:33:52,945 but this is about you and getting revenge, 734 00:33:52,946 --> 00:33:54,356 and you went behind my back to get it. 735 00:33:54,709 --> 00:33:58,451 I know, Nate, but come on. They deserve what they get. 736 00:33:58,898 --> 00:33:59,814 I'm not sorry. 737 00:33:59,815 --> 00:34:01,480 No, I'm the one who's sorry. 738 00:34:02,410 --> 00:34:04,230 I'm sorry you've become one of them. 739 00:34:04,392 --> 00:34:08,511 * Oh, whoa, you can hang * 740 00:34:08,512 --> 00:34:09,966 * With me * 741 00:34:09,967 --> 00:34:11,946 Blair, we had a treaty. 742 00:34:16,225 --> 00:34:20,319 * Hang with me * 743 00:34:23,769 --> 00:34:25,399 Okay, we have a big problem. 744 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,861 Serena's professor is Colin... our cousin Colin. 745 00:34:28,862 --> 00:34:30,037 And what's the problem? 746 00:34:30,038 --> 00:34:31,704 He has no idea what we're doing! 747 00:34:31,705 --> 00:34:33,963 If he finds out, I-I will lose everything! 748 00:34:33,964 --> 00:34:36,049 Don't tell me about losing everything. 749 00:34:36,542 --> 00:34:37,520 I'm sorry. 750 00:34:38,112 --> 00:34:41,972 I know that there's no love lost between you two, but I need him. 751 00:34:41,973 --> 00:34:43,852 He pays for my school, my rent. 752 00:34:43,853 --> 00:34:44,910 What you need 753 00:34:44,911 --> 00:34:47,933 is to get Serena caught with her professor, 754 00:34:47,934 --> 00:34:49,496 whoever he is. 755 00:34:49,953 --> 00:34:51,675 Did you get the proof like we talked about? 756 00:34:51,676 --> 00:34:55,445 Not yet, but, Ben, he obviously has no idea who she is, 757 00:34:55,446 --> 00:34:57,487 that's she's the one responsible for all... 758 00:34:57,488 --> 00:34:59,818 It's because she's responsible 759 00:34:59,819 --> 00:35:01,490 that you have to do this. 760 00:35:01,788 --> 00:35:03,803 It is the only way to make things right. 761 00:35:03,804 --> 00:35:06,952 It is the only way for our family to ever move on. 762 00:35:06,953 --> 00:35:10,124 Now please, Jules, get the proof 763 00:35:10,125 --> 00:35:11,827 and get Serena expelled. 764 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:24,895 Robyn gave this to me, 765 00:35:24,896 --> 00:35:27,631 and she swore it was her only copy. 766 00:35:27,632 --> 00:35:28,848 You are safe. 767 00:35:28,967 --> 00:35:31,937 Well, that's good news, I guess. 768 00:35:32,540 --> 00:35:34,682 But I'm still mortified. 769 00:35:35,743 --> 00:35:37,429 Dean Reuther saw it. Madeleine Albright. 770 00:35:37,430 --> 00:35:39,397 I-I'm a failure at 20. 771 00:35:39,398 --> 00:35:42,100 Are you kidding? Elsa Maxwell says 772 00:35:42,101 --> 00:35:45,275 that a good party gives people what they don't expect. 773 00:35:45,740 --> 00:35:48,791 Well... I suppose watching Rachel Zoe 774 00:35:48,792 --> 00:35:51,631 get dipped in chocolate like a strawberry wasn't boring. 775 00:35:51,796 --> 00:35:54,048 Nothing around you ever is. 776 00:35:57,001 --> 00:35:58,343 Something else is wrong? 777 00:35:59,718 --> 00:36:02,684 What I want is to be a powerful woman. 778 00:36:02,685 --> 00:36:04,803 But whenever Chuck's around, 779 00:36:04,804 --> 00:36:07,017 I just feel like a weak little girl. 780 00:36:07,576 --> 00:36:12,224 I shut myself off for a long time after your father left. 781 00:36:12,225 --> 00:36:15,932 I was cold and hard. Then I met Cyrus, 782 00:36:16,380 --> 00:36:18,724 and he taught me that sometimes 783 00:36:18,725 --> 00:36:21,680 you have to allow yourself to be weak 784 00:36:21,681 --> 00:36:23,834 in order to grow stronger. 785 00:36:23,835 --> 00:36:28,120 Well, that sounds good, but it feels terrible. 786 00:36:29,453 --> 00:36:31,886 You don't have to lose the girl to be a woman. 787 00:36:32,910 --> 00:36:34,851 Just... need to think 788 00:36:34,852 --> 00:36:38,487 maybe about how many people are going to be around 789 00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:40,250 the next time you let her out. 790 00:36:41,803 --> 00:36:43,293 I am going to bed. 791 00:36:44,639 --> 00:36:45,678 Good night. 792 00:36:52,979 --> 00:36:55,249 It was just a silly karaoke video. 793 00:36:55,250 --> 00:36:56,977 At least no one got hurt. 794 00:36:57,540 --> 00:37:00,297 Yeah, I just... I've never seen Dan like that. 795 00:37:03,876 --> 00:37:05,343 I pray it's an isolated event. 796 00:37:05,344 --> 00:37:08,431 I'd hate to think I lost both my kids to the Upper East Side. 797 00:37:08,432 --> 00:37:10,830 Well, I'd hate for you to think that, too. 798 00:37:12,735 --> 00:37:13,522 What? 799 00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:14,952 That's a lot of paper. 800 00:37:14,953 --> 00:37:17,915 Eric! Did you do this? 801 00:37:17,916 --> 00:37:20,175 Well, I helped, but it was all Dan. 802 00:37:20,176 --> 00:37:20,800 Well, maybe there's 803 00:37:20,801 --> 00:37:22,813 a little Humphrey left in that kid after all. 804 00:37:25,937 --> 00:37:29,221 You know, there are ten minutes left of our anniversary. 805 00:37:29,426 --> 00:37:31,502 You know, just enough time to save it. 806 00:37:44,522 --> 00:37:45,627 Hey. 807 00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:51,513 So I wrecked Blair's birthday and I betrayed Nate, 808 00:37:51,514 --> 00:37:53,751 I've disappointed my dad, and as the icing on the cake, 809 00:37:53,752 --> 00:37:57,287 I pretty much ruined his and Lily's anniversary. 810 00:37:57,288 --> 00:37:59,593 Other than that... How was your night? 811 00:37:59,594 --> 00:38:02,673 It was Blair's 20th birthday party, 812 00:38:02,674 --> 00:38:05,270 and I'm still acting like an eighth grader! 813 00:38:06,411 --> 00:38:07,801 Oh, my God. Is it possible 814 00:38:07,802 --> 00:38:09,903 the Upper East Side is contagious? 815 00:38:09,904 --> 00:38:12,152 I think we've proven that it is. 816 00:38:12,458 --> 00:38:15,647 We just need some rest and a good dose of Brooklyn. 817 00:38:15,648 --> 00:38:17,904 Yeah. Thanks for being here. 818 00:38:17,988 --> 00:38:21,533 We've been friends forever, and that's not gonna change. 819 00:38:26,964 --> 00:38:30,501 Dad, I am so sorry. 820 00:38:32,039 --> 00:38:33,696 Wait a second. You liked it? 821 00:38:34,428 --> 00:38:37,793 At the end of every war, the warriors come home, 822 00:38:37,794 --> 00:38:39,819 hoping what they've seen and done 823 00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:41,983 won't stay with them forever. 824 00:38:44,955 --> 00:38:47,070 Anthony patch is more tragic than Gatsby. 825 00:38:47,465 --> 00:38:49,548 I can't believe you actually read it. 826 00:38:49,549 --> 00:38:52,827 Well, why wouldn't I? You gave it to me. 827 00:38:56,971 --> 00:39:00,768 You know, I think I like you too much to do this right now. 828 00:39:02,157 --> 00:39:03,242 We've come this far, 829 00:39:03,243 --> 00:39:04,757 and the old me would've gone farther, 830 00:39:04,758 --> 00:39:07,898 but the new me really wants to wait. 831 00:39:08,867 --> 00:39:10,797 I'm glad I know the new you. 832 00:39:11,395 --> 00:39:13,065 She's a great teacher. 833 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:16,708 Ugh. So, six more weeks... 834 00:39:16,907 --> 00:39:18,607 Yeah. At least we stopped ourselves 835 00:39:18,608 --> 00:39:20,618 before we made a mess of everything. 836 00:39:20,956 --> 00:39:23,248 No one found out, so we're safe. 837 00:39:26,959 --> 00:39:29,460 Well, in that case... 838 00:39:31,421 --> 00:39:32,662 Buddha once said, 839 00:39:32,663 --> 00:39:34,586 "it's better to conquer yourself 840 00:39:34,587 --> 00:39:36,954 than to win a thousand battles." 841 00:39:42,585 --> 00:39:45,858 But other soldiers can't give up the fight 842 00:39:45,859 --> 00:39:49,096 and go underground to plan the next war. 843 00:39:56,565 --> 00:39:57,381 See ya. 844 00:40:09,922 --> 00:40:13,602 But it's the true warrior who knows that wars don't end. 845 00:40:13,603 --> 00:40:15,084 They simply change. 846 00:40:15,208 --> 00:40:16,735 And there can never be peace 847 00:40:16,736 --> 00:40:18,689 as long as guns are still loaded 848 00:40:18,690 --> 00:40:20,638 and there's plenty of ammunition. 849 00:40:21,395 --> 00:40:22,994 What are you still doing here, Chuck? 850 00:40:22,995 --> 00:40:24,463 I threw you out hours ago. 851 00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:27,496 I wanted to let you know the treaty is over. 852 00:40:28,035 --> 00:40:29,098 Fine with me. 853 00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:32,075 This pretense of civility was exhausting. 854 00:40:32,076 --> 00:40:34,351 Being amicable isn't in our blood. 855 00:40:35,056 --> 00:40:37,262 I've realized we're not friends. 856 00:40:37,263 --> 00:40:39,033 Friends have to like each other. 857 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,729 And after what happened tonight, I could never like you. 858 00:40:41,730 --> 00:40:43,506 I could never like you either. 859 00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:46,282 In fact, I hate you. 860 00:40:46,283 --> 00:40:49,147 I've never hated anyone... more. 861 00:40:49,148 --> 00:40:52,871 Every nerve ending in my body is electrified by hatred. 862 00:40:52,872 --> 00:40:57,211 There is a fiery pit of hate burning inside me, 863 00:40:57,212 --> 00:40:59,426 ready to explode. 864 00:40:59,427 --> 00:41:00,667 So it's... settled then? 865 00:41:00,668 --> 00:41:01,718 We're settled. 866 00:41:12,509 --> 00:41:14,636 * I'm giving it all * 867 00:41:14,637 --> 00:41:18,820 * But I'm not the girl you're taking home * 868 00:41:18,821 --> 00:41:20,906 * Ooh, ooh, ooh * 869 00:41:20,907 --> 00:41:24,647 * I keep dancing on my own * 870 00:41:24,995 --> 00:41:29,114 * I keep dancing on my own Oh, yeah * 871 00:41:29,115 --> 00:41:31,079 * I'm in the corner, * 872 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:35,200 * watching you kiss her * 873 00:41:37,204 --> 00:41:40,646 * I'm right over here, why can't you see me? * 874 00:41:40,647 --> 00:41:42,692 These weapons may be deadly. 875 00:41:42,693 --> 00:41:45,215 X.O.X.O., Gossip Girl. 876 00:41:45,415 --> 00:41:55,615 Sync by YYeTs.net www.addic7ed.com