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Gossip Girl here,
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your one and only source
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into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite.
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How about a tour?
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Absolutely. It is my house.
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Don't you think
you should be the one to go?
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Actually, this is my house.
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Nice to meet you, by the way, um...
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Nate.
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How would you like
to keep working for me?
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I would love to.
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I have to say it was
a pretty devious plan.
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Thank you, Ivy.
You played your part perfectly.
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One month anniversary of our move.
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Ivy, stop talking to your
boyfriend and start working.
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Charlie! Oh, my gosh!
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What are you doing here?
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Why would Vanessa steal your story?
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To teach me a lesson.
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People write songs about wiping
out on our L.A. roadways.
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I'm not scared of anything.
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Do they know?
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Know what?
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How far along you are.
I'd say... six weeks?
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I'm not pregnant.
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Lie to me all you want,
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but your body will be
telling the whole world
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the truth by the
time of your wedding.
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Sync by YYeTs
Correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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Rise and shine, upper east siders.
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It's time for your annual checkup.
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Lucky for you, doctors take
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their confidentiality
seriously around here.
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Are you sure this doctor's reputable?
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Your prenatal care is imperative.
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You never care about my womb before.
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Maybe this is way to avoid
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seeing Mr. Louis off on trip to Monaco
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for feast of assumption holiday.
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Louis' sister Beatrice
is picking him up at noon
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in their jet, which gives us
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plenty of time to discuss
your gestational issues.
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Dorota, how are you feeling?
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She's fine.
I'm Blair, Dorota's employer.
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I have a few questions.
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Just go with it. Is only way.
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I need to ask you how long her
morning sickness will last.
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As I'm naturally empathetic,
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the mere discussion of food...
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Not to mention the odor, the taste...
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It should ease off in
the first trimester.
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And... what about breast sensitivity?
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Miss Blair!
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Is the one asking the questions.
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You see, she practically screams
when anyone touches them.
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I can hear her all
the way from queens.
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Sensitivity's totally normal.
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Okay. And, um,
how long till she can determine
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the father of her child?
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She's had a few one-night stands
with the staff of our building.
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Blair Cornelia Waldorf!
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You two should work this out.
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Dorota can come back another time...
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Alone.
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I'm sorry.
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I-I don't know what's come over me.
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Yes, you do.
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You are pregnant, too.
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We are like sisters now!
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Cousins.
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Distant cousins.
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Miss Blair, why you not say you are...
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do not utter the word.
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No one must know.
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Well, at least not until I have
some time to figure things out.
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I don't care what you say.
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I hug you anyway for luck.
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And keep secret.
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I'm sorry. It's not you...
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I'm so sick of all you
guys on antidepressants.
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It's a good thing you don't
offer satisfaction guaranteed,
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or she'd be your third
refund this week.
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Do you need
pharmaceutical assistance?
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Yeah, I wish weed was the answer.
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I meant Viagra.
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No, everything works down there.
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It's here that's the problem.
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I just can't stop thinking
about that woman from L.A.
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It's understandable,
given your mother issues.
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She called twice.
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She did? Did she leave a
number or at least her name?
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Last I heard, it was Anne Archibald.
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Yeah, well, in an attempt
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to take some of your
advice about my future,
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I asked my mom if she could help me
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get an internship this fall.
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Schumer and Lloyd Blankfein at Goldman
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are both interested,
and now she wants me to choose.
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So call your mommy. Pick either job.
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Forget about your
mysterious lady from L.A.
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If a woman wants to see you again,
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she generally tells you her name.
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What happened to the son helping
the father make breakfast?
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You've been on that
computer since you got here.
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I know. Sorry.
I'm... I'm trying to figure out
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which publisher has my book so
I can stop it from coming out.
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And Jeremiah Harris wasn't any help?
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No, no, the only clue I have
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is this, uh, check Vanessa sent me.
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I'm sorry. I'll be one more minute,
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and then I will be in there
to burn the bacon, I swear.
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Hey!
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Hey. Um, listen,
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I know you're probably
on your way to surf
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or hanging out at Cameron Diaz's house,
but, uh,
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I was wondering if you could share
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some of your bank
breaking secrets with me.
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Well, I thought you did all
your scheming with Blair.
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No, she's not speaking to me.
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I just need, um,
to help Vanessa with a bounced check,
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and I can't reach her.
I was thinking that,
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you know, whatever you did to
get into lily's safe deposit box
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might also work for me.
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Oh, well, that was all Chuck.
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He slept with the girl at the bank.
But knowing him,
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there are many more
girls at many more banks.
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You should ask him.
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Right. Chuck. Okay, thanks.
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So are you really staying out there?
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Well, I got a great job,
and Charlie's here.
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Char-Charlie as in "Call me Serena"
cousin Charlie
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who moved back to Florida?
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Yeah, who's actually been living in L.A.
one and the same.
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I'm about to go to brunch with her
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and make her fill in all the blanks.
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Well, don't be too quick
to option her life rights
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before you make sure
she's back on her meds.
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But in all seriousness,
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tell her I said hi.
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Bye.
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00:06:17,069 --> 00:06:19,949
And for my final course,
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a hot peach clafouti,
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inspired by my hot girlfriend Ivy.
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Aw.
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Mmm.
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Oh, three Michelin Star, definitely.
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Which... of these scream
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"I am a New York City
trust fund baby" more?
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Uh... those, I guess.
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You okay?
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00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:46,359
You seem extra nervous
about this audition?
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Yeah.
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Some days it's just not as much fun
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trying to be an actress.
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Well, at least we're
failing together.
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Unlike Jason...
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he just got this huge chef
gig at beast in Portland.
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Hey, it's cheap, too.
Moving there could end my days
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00:07:01,698 --> 00:07:03,454
of plating salad with
dressing on the side
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and save you from using your
mysterious emergency fund.
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Max, I told you,
this is my last resort.
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There's only enough to use it once.
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I know. It's just,
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I don't want to end
up like everybody else
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who comes to L.A.
with dreams only to find that L.A.
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Is the place where
dreams come to die.
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Or you get those weird lips
that everybody here has.
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Let's not give up yet.
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I promise things will get better.
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I wish you could join
me for the feast.
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The church celebrates with all
of Monaco's favorite foods.
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To honor virgin mother
honest rise to heaven.
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Uh... why aren't you waiting
to greet princess Beatrice
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at the elevator?
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I know you two will love each other.
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Don't be so sure.
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00:08:01,372 --> 00:08:03,626
My first impression
on grimaldi women thus far
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has been abysmal at best.
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Unlike grimaldi men who fall in love
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00:08:07,535 --> 00:08:09,684
the moment they see you,
but don't worry.
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00:08:09,685 --> 00:08:12,559
My mother and Beatrice
never agree on anything.
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They make the brothers
of Brunei look civil.
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00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,541
At least we don't have harems.
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00:08:16,542 --> 00:08:17,799
Ah, la voila.
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00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:21,001
Louis...
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00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:22,107
Me, too.
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Beatrice, this is Blair.
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You are even more beautiful
than the photographs
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in the paper.
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Mm.
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00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:32,358
The perfume...
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00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:35,723
It's Jasmine and clove oil from Africa.
Do you like it?
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It's powerful.
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00:08:37,399 --> 00:08:38,638
Then I shall give you mine.
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00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:39,996
I'll get more when I go back.
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I've always longed for a sister.
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Sit, sit.
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00:08:43,071 --> 00:08:44,828
Tell me everything.
199
00:08:44,829 --> 00:08:47,298
Okay, Spill.
What are you doing in L.A.
200
00:08:47,299 --> 00:08:49,618
And how did you get your mom
to agree to let you come here?
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00:08:49,742 --> 00:08:51,106
She didn't.
202
00:08:51,107 --> 00:08:53,851
I call her and I tell
her that I'm okay,
203
00:08:53,852 --> 00:08:55,971
but not where I am.
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00:08:56,306 --> 00:08:58,134
Trust me, it's better this way.
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00:08:58,259 --> 00:09:01,730
Florida was making me crazier
than New York ever did.
206
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:04,250
And you're being responsible
with your medication?
207
00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:06,778
I needed a break from my mom,
not reality.
208
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,478
Well, Florida's loss is my gain.
209
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:13,344
Okay, I wanna know everything!
Friends, boyfriends.
210
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,934
Neither, honestly,
which is why it's so sad
211
00:09:16,935 --> 00:09:19,159
that you have to go back
to New York for school.
212
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:20,894
Well, then I must be a genie,
213
00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:22,622
'cause your wish is granted.
214
00:09:22,686 --> 00:09:23,870
I'm staying.
215
00:09:25,716 --> 00:09:26,785
Um...
216
00:09:27,187 --> 00:09:29,202
I thought that your movie ended.
217
00:09:29,684 --> 00:09:32,836
Oh, it did,
but the producer offered me a job,
218
00:09:32,837 --> 00:09:34,661
so I'm meeting with her later today
219
00:09:34,662 --> 00:09:36,528
to discuss the details.
But don't worry.
220
00:09:36,529 --> 00:09:38,581
We'll have plenty of time
to catch up before then.
221
00:09:38,582 --> 00:09:41,921
They say misery loves company,
but sometimes
222
00:09:41,922 --> 00:09:44,562
it's the company that
makes you miserable.
223
00:09:46,511 --> 00:09:50,014
Mm!
My. Look at the time.
224
00:09:50,346 --> 00:09:52,354
I'm so disappointed that I
can't spend all day with you
225
00:09:52,355 --> 00:09:54,241
before you rush off
to your principality.
226
00:09:54,242 --> 00:09:56,663
You know, Blair,
I feel just the same,
227
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:59,135
which is why I moved our
flight to this evening.
228
00:09:59,136 --> 00:10:01,710
We now have all afternoon
to share our secrets
229
00:10:01,711 --> 00:10:04,907
like real sisters,
and I want to know them all.
230
00:10:06,410 --> 00:10:07,754
Mm. I can't wait.
231
00:10:10,046 --> 00:10:11,126
Now if you'll excuse me.
232
00:10:11,127 --> 00:10:12,165
But nothing's worse
233
00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:14,726
than company that
overstays their welcome.
234
00:10:14,767 --> 00:10:15,872
Good luck, B.
235
00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:19,077
Have fun being
the hostess with the mostess.
236
00:10:25,603 --> 00:10:28,294
I get working for this
producer's a huge opportunity,
237
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,645
but what about Columbia?
238
00:10:29,646 --> 00:10:31,038
Well, I'm taking the semester off,
239
00:10:31,039 --> 00:10:32,782
and I'll see how
things go after that.
240
00:10:32,783 --> 00:10:34,999
My only issue is living with Cece.
241
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,540
Last night, at 2:00 A.M.,
her bridge game turned brutal.
242
00:10:38,541 --> 00:10:41,327
A neighbor even came and complained.
243
00:10:41,448 --> 00:10:42,594
Well, I'm sure your real estate agent
244
00:10:42,595 --> 00:10:44,334
will find you a great place.
245
00:10:44,335 --> 00:10:46,086
Well, hopefully near you.
246
00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:49,687
In fact, why don't I have her
just meet us at your place?
247
00:10:49,956 --> 00:10:53,589
It's a bad idea.
My roommate barely lets me in most days.
248
00:10:53,590 --> 00:10:55,041
And he's kind of Howard Hughes-ish.
249
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:56,721
Hey, I was just about to call you.
250
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:59,635
I'm gonna need to see 2-bedroom
apartments instead of one.
251
00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:02,389
Okay, great. Thank you.
252
00:11:02,390 --> 00:11:04,134
No, my place is fine.
253
00:11:04,135 --> 00:11:07,182
No, it's not negotiable. This is L.A.
254
00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:08,938
Rhodes girls have to live together.
255
00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:10,331
It's tradition.
256
00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:12,659
Come on. Let's go.
257
00:11:24,347 --> 00:11:25,546
Hey, Chuck.
258
00:11:26,297 --> 00:11:27,932
Ignore him. He's not with me.
259
00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:29,899
Oh, hey, hey,
do I need to call the cops?
260
00:11:30,999 --> 00:11:32,925
This isn't what we signed up for.
We're outta here.
261
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,110
Just...
262
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:37,726
I expect a full refund.
263
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,102
What are you doing? You okay?
264
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:42,487
I was until you arrived.
265
00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:45,667
Uh, you don't...you don't
look all right there.
266
00:11:58,445 --> 00:12:00,113
No, no, I have the address.
267
00:12:00,114 --> 00:12:02,259
I just need her name, okay?
268
00:12:02,895 --> 00:12:05,358
Th-then why are you
called "information," huh?
269
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,922
I'm not Serena, Humphrey.
I didn't need saving.
270
00:12:17,923 --> 00:12:21,106
Hey. I thought you were
still in the Hamptons.
271
00:12:21,357 --> 00:12:22,593
I'd ask you how your summer's going,
272
00:12:22,594 --> 00:12:23,537
but seeing you with Chuck,
273
00:12:23,538 --> 00:12:25,560
I guess the answer
is probably "weird."
274
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:28,682
Oh, it gets weirder.
I found him paying
275
00:12:28,711 --> 00:12:31,274
some really rough dudes
to... to fight him.
276
00:12:31,399 --> 00:12:33,166
He wasn't forthcoming
with the details, but I...
277
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:36,133
I would imagine it's
some new bass-type scheme
278
00:12:36,134 --> 00:12:37,559
to get Blair's attention.
279
00:12:37,561 --> 00:12:39,643
Well, he said he was okay
about her all summer.
280
00:12:40,286 --> 00:12:42,685
Or maybe it's finally hitting
him now that we're back.
281
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,870
I think something else
might have hit him, too.
282
00:12:44,871 --> 00:12:46,926
He was already pretty
bruised when I got there.
283
00:12:46,927 --> 00:12:48,779
I think he might
need to see a doctor.
284
00:12:49,181 --> 00:12:52,415
Yeah? Well, my mom has this
concierge doc she could send,
285
00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:53,529
but calling her means
I'd have to decide
286
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:54,842
which internship I want.
287
00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:57,192
Well, I could stick around
and talk it through with you.
288
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,530
I was also kinda hoping to
get some help from Chuck
289
00:12:59,531 --> 00:13:00,797
on something anyway.
290
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:02,938
Hey, I'm gonna call a doctor,
291
00:13:02,939 --> 00:13:04,619
have him check out
your bruises, okay?
292
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,203
Excellent.
293
00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:11,694
Listen, I'll just, uh, call you
294
00:13:11,695 --> 00:13:13,443
when the doctor leaves.
How about that?
295
00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:14,987
All right.
296
00:13:17,153 --> 00:13:19,224
Well, what do you say
to a little shopping
297
00:13:19,225 --> 00:13:20,711
for all your pre-wedding events?
298
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:24,174
Yes. I was thinking Wu
for my welcome parade...
299
00:13:24,175 --> 00:13:25,777
short but regal.
300
00:13:25,778 --> 00:13:28,419
And Alaia would put Charlene
and her swimmer's body
301
00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:30,091
to shame at Albert's ball.
302
00:13:30,118 --> 00:13:31,766
Hmm. Those will never do.
303
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:35,934
Why? They only use children
to sew the beading.
304
00:13:36,059 --> 00:13:39,589
You cannot have bare shoulders,
exposed knees,
305
00:13:39,590 --> 00:13:41,173
anything form-fitting.
306
00:13:41,174 --> 00:13:43,444
Too much skin borders on Bruni.
307
00:13:43,445 --> 00:13:46,894
I-I-I don't understand.
How am I to become an icon of...
308
00:13:46,895 --> 00:13:50,818
Style and taste if I
can only wear a burka?
309
00:13:50,819 --> 00:13:53,173
I'm sorry.
The dress code is mandated.
310
00:13:53,174 --> 00:13:56,685
So you get Balmain,
and I get to be Barbara Bush.
311
00:13:56,810 --> 00:13:57,996
How is this possible?
312
00:13:57,997 --> 00:14:00,182
It's one of the many perks of being
313
00:14:00,183 --> 00:14:01,707
the non-reigning sibling.
314
00:14:01,711 --> 00:14:03,631
I'm surprised to hear you say that.
315
00:14:03,698 --> 00:14:05,406
I read the interview you
did for "The Guardian"
316
00:14:05,407 --> 00:14:07,301
when Louis gave up his seat for me,
317
00:14:07,302 --> 00:14:10,667
and you seemed more than
eager to step into that role.
318
00:14:10,668 --> 00:14:12,786
I admit I've always
wished for my mother
319
00:14:12,787 --> 00:14:15,315
to realize she had
two capable children.
320
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:17,157
But those few days
321
00:14:17,158 --> 00:14:19,118
with the world watching my every move
322
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,367
were too much.
323
00:14:20,368 --> 00:14:23,198
You, however, are much better suited
324
00:14:23,199 --> 00:14:25,694
for the pressures of
royal service than I.
325
00:14:26,188 --> 00:14:27,725
Shall we have a snack?
326
00:14:28,022 --> 00:14:32,295
Ohh. Actually,
I need to find a restroom.
327
00:14:38,999 --> 00:14:42,517
I'm not sure there's
enough closet space.
328
00:14:42,518 --> 00:14:44,134
You're kidding, right?
329
00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,419
I didn't think it was possible
330
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,702
for anyone to need
more closets than I do.
331
00:14:48,703 --> 00:14:51,614
I mean, you have a whole
room for your shoes alone.
332
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:55,969
Yeah. But, you know,
the... the beach traffic
333
00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:57,162
can get really bad,
334
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,298
and that might depress me even more
335
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:03,395
than my crazy roommate, so...
maybe I should...
336
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:05,499
Just stay where I am.
337
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,956
So you're gonna give this
place up because of traffic?
338
00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:12,273
Where in L.A.
is Carmeggedon not an issue?
339
00:15:12,274 --> 00:15:13,818
I already have other interest.
340
00:15:13,819 --> 00:15:15,706
If you want it,
you're gonna need to move quickly.
341
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:18,259
Oh, I can give you a
down payment right now.
342
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,998
Except I forgot my checkbook.
343
00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:26,110
But you have yours.
I-I saw it when your purse fell.
344
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:28,805
Yeah. But, you know,
I don't think I have enough
345
00:15:28,806 --> 00:15:30,469
to cover two months' rent.
346
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:32,338
Unless you bought the
Maldives without telling me,
347
00:15:32,339 --> 00:15:33,698
you should have plenty.
348
00:15:35,314 --> 00:15:37,389
Or is this your way of telling me
349
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:39,134
that you don't wanna live with me?
350
00:15:39,135 --> 00:15:40,847
Of course not.
351
00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:44,866
All I have is an out-of-state check.
352
00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:47,282
No problem.
Just put your local contact information
353
00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:48,574
in the memo.
354
00:15:48,575 --> 00:15:51,086
See? I told you this would work out.
355
00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:00,966
You understand fractured ribs
356
00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:02,718
aren't something to mess around with.
357
00:16:03,118 --> 00:16:04,901
You could end up puncturing a lung.
358
00:16:05,026 --> 00:16:06,562
I told you, they don't hurt.
359
00:16:09,683 --> 00:16:10,806
I have a hard time believing
360
00:16:10,807 --> 00:16:13,205
anyone has that high
a threshold for pain.
361
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,205
Yeah, well,
he's probably just self-medicating.
362
00:16:15,319 --> 00:16:16,325
You should see his medicine cabinet.
363
00:16:16,326 --> 00:16:18,394
Some of that stuff's not
even legal in Mexico.
364
00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:22,398
No, I was just... I was just kidding.
365
00:16:22,738 --> 00:16:24,969
He claimed he couldn't
feel my touching his ribs
366
00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:26,283
during the exam.
367
00:16:26,549 --> 00:16:28,342
If he's taking that many drugs,
368
00:16:28,432 --> 00:16:29,729
someone needs to keep an eye on him
369
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:31,242
to make sure he doesn't take any more
370
00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:33,226
or do anything other than rest.
371
00:16:33,922 --> 00:16:36,418
His injuries are
bordering on dangerous.
372
00:16:38,007 --> 00:16:39,190
I'll take care of it.
373
00:16:39,286 --> 00:16:40,580
Thank you.
374
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,146
I wish we'd stopped at Saint Honoré.
375
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:48,450
Doesn't shopping leave you famished?
376
00:16:48,451 --> 00:16:49,446
Well, perhaps buying one lipstick
377
00:16:49,447 --> 00:16:50,946
doesn't build up the same appetite.
378
00:16:50,947 --> 00:16:53,366
Lucky you can eat at your feast.
379
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,162
I'm sorry. Too much coffee.
380
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,750
Give the virgin my regards.
381
00:16:58,694 --> 00:17:00,198
I'll show you to door.
382
00:17:00,951 --> 00:17:03,254
And by door, I mean elevator.
383
00:17:04,794 --> 00:17:05,963
Over there.
384
00:17:06,386 --> 00:17:08,259
I think it's fairly obvious.
385
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:12,374
Our future princess has
developed a drug problem.
386
00:17:12,414 --> 00:17:14,413
What? No.
387
00:17:14,414 --> 00:17:16,885
Uh, Miss Blair too much control freak
388
00:17:16,886 --> 00:17:20,998
to use mind alter substance,
even to help mood swing.
389
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,831
I admire your loyalty,
390
00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:25,519
but no one uses
les toilettes so often
391
00:17:25,551 --> 00:17:27,679
unless they have something to hide.
392
00:17:28,289 --> 00:17:30,230
Louis deserves to know what it is.
393
00:17:30,231 --> 00:17:32,166
I swear, Miss Blair just...
394
00:17:32,598 --> 00:17:34,474
Have sensitive stomach.
395
00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:37,030
Of course.
396
00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:39,846
I knew I recognized
that faint acrid smell
397
00:17:39,847 --> 00:17:41,463
from boarding school.
398
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:44,695
The pale skin. Not eating in public.
399
00:17:44,788 --> 00:17:47,474
Blair's obviously bulimic.
400
00:17:48,346 --> 00:17:49,482
Yes.
401
00:17:49,553 --> 00:17:50,377
No. I...
402
00:17:50,378 --> 00:17:52,507
I mean, not...not anymore.
403
00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:56,742
Only teenage habit of
using restroom die hard.
404
00:17:57,042 --> 00:18:00,243
But Miss Blair digest everything now.
405
00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:04,290
I go make...
tuna melts for both of you.
406
00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:15,040
Louis? We need to speak right away.
407
00:18:26,852 --> 00:18:28,179
Hey!
408
00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:31,406
What are you doing in New York,
at my house?
409
00:18:31,407 --> 00:18:33,087
Leaving, by the look of it.
410
00:18:33,407 --> 00:18:34,790
Whoa, were you trying to find me?
411
00:18:34,791 --> 00:18:36,142
Oh, this is fantastic.
412
00:18:36,143 --> 00:18:38,334
I haven't been able to stop
thinking about you either.
413
00:18:38,335 --> 00:18:39,813
Can't believe you
actually tracked me down.
414
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:42,977
Oh, that is borderline adorable,
415
00:18:42,978 --> 00:18:44,499
but I wasn't here to see you.
416
00:18:44,619 --> 00:18:47,182
As of recently,
I own "The New York Spectator,"
417
00:18:47,183 --> 00:18:48,773
and I wanted to interview your mother
418
00:18:48,774 --> 00:18:49,794
for my inaugural article
419
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,240
on the disgraced wives
of dirty businessmen,
420
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,762
but she not-so-politely declined.
421
00:18:54,763 --> 00:18:56,429
Okay, wait,
even if this is a coincidence,
422
00:18:56,430 --> 00:18:57,693
it's a pretty damn good one.
423
00:18:57,694 --> 00:19:00,462
All right? I was here just to
discuss job offers with my mom,
424
00:19:00,463 --> 00:19:02,382
but I would much rather take you out.
425
00:19:02,797 --> 00:19:03,838
Oh, we had fun, Nate,
426
00:19:03,839 --> 00:19:07,487
but I need more than just
stamina to keep me interested.
427
00:19:07,903 --> 00:19:09,102
Nice seeing ya.
428
00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:10,393
Whoa, whoa, wait.
429
00:19:10,394 --> 00:19:12,715
Will you at least tell me your name?
430
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,586
What's so important it couldn't wait
431
00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,434
until our 7-hour flight tonight?
432
00:19:17,435 --> 00:19:19,945
Your fiancee is bulimic.
433
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,159
Is that all?
434
00:19:21,511 --> 00:19:23,366
Bulimia is a serious disease.
435
00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:26,224
Blair told me all about
her teenage struggles.
436
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,406
It's in her past.
437
00:19:27,407 --> 00:19:29,989
Past hour. She's not well, Louis.
438
00:19:29,990 --> 00:19:32,463
Or she needs an escape from a
shopping trip full of rules.
439
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:33,785
She told me about that, too.
440
00:19:33,786 --> 00:19:36,987
I was just trying to prepare her
for the pressures of your life.
441
00:19:37,311 --> 00:19:38,789
The stress will be the worst thing
442
00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:40,198
for her condition,
443
00:19:40,323 --> 00:19:42,802
all so you can claim
a title we both know
444
00:19:42,803 --> 00:19:44,329
you don't even care about.
445
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,454
You know I'll do whatever I have to
446
00:19:46,455 --> 00:19:48,147
to ensure Blair's well-being.
447
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,279
But believe me, she's doing great.
448
00:19:50,628 --> 00:19:52,166
There's nothing to worry about.
449
00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:54,950
You never did understand
la psychologie des femmes.
450
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:57,560
I guess I will just
have to prove it to you.
451
00:19:57,561 --> 00:19:58,557
Go ahead.
452
00:19:58,558 --> 00:19:59,823
I will prove you wrong.
453
00:20:04,672 --> 00:20:08,383
Hi. Yes.
This is Charlie Rhodes from earlier.
454
00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,765
Turns out that Serena and
I have changed our minds
455
00:20:10,766 --> 00:20:12,499
about the apartment,
so if it's okay with you,
456
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,112
I'd like to come back
and get my check.
457
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,406
Miss Rhodes, your check was invalid.
458
00:20:16,407 --> 00:20:18,262
The bank told me it was no good.
459
00:20:18,263 --> 00:20:19,382
I'm sorry?
460
00:20:19,383 --> 00:20:21,029
I gave it back to
Miss Van Der Woodsen
461
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:22,662
when she brought me a new one.
462
00:20:22,787 --> 00:20:24,978
Maybe you should speak
to her about this.
463
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:32,121
Saltines only thing
I eat for months with Ana.
464
00:20:32,122 --> 00:20:34,075
Well, that was not the same.
465
00:20:34,123 --> 00:20:36,537
Your people are bred to work
through these conditions
466
00:20:36,538 --> 00:20:38,257
and give birth in a field.
467
00:20:38,382 --> 00:20:40,585
No fields in Krakow.
468
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:43,454
And I have birthing suite
at Lenox Hill.
469
00:20:44,831 --> 00:20:46,186
Well, I am too exhausted
470
00:20:46,187 --> 00:20:48,491
to even reprimand
your insubordination.
471
00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:51,799
At least she and Prince Louis gone.
472
00:20:51,862 --> 00:20:53,855
You have time to figure out...
473
00:20:53,856 --> 00:20:57,294
don't even let the
word leave your lips.
474
00:20:57,578 --> 00:20:59,418
You never know who could be lurking.
475
00:20:59,419 --> 00:21:00,676
Blair?
476
00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:03,602
Louis.
477
00:21:03,603 --> 00:21:04,849
Darling.
478
00:21:06,439 --> 00:21:08,341
Ah, I was just about to take a nap
479
00:21:08,342 --> 00:21:11,031
because I was so exhausted
from that shopping trip.
480
00:21:11,450 --> 00:21:13,993
So romantic of you to come
and say a final good-bye.
481
00:21:14,118 --> 00:21:17,000
Beatrice didn't want you to miss
your first Monegasque holiday.
482
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,232
And that is so kind.
483
00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:20,369
I'm sure the virgin will understand
484
00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:21,967
that I'm too busy to be away.
485
00:21:21,968 --> 00:21:25,161
Which is why I had our priest
arrange to celebrate here
486
00:21:25,162 --> 00:21:26,182
in New York.
487
00:21:26,183 --> 00:21:28,438
He's already spoken
to the local church.
488
00:21:28,439 --> 00:21:29,770
I hope you're hungry.
489
00:21:29,771 --> 00:21:32,481
It's called the feast
for a very good reason.
490
00:21:32,482 --> 00:21:34,861
Let's hope B's first
feast of assumption
491
00:21:34,862 --> 00:21:37,133
doesn't end in damnation.
492
00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:42,861
Back again? What don't you get?
493
00:21:42,862 --> 00:21:45,477
Unlike Serena,
when I rejected you, I meant it.
494
00:21:45,478 --> 00:21:47,377
Nate asked me to keep an
eye on you while he was out.
495
00:21:47,378 --> 00:21:48,962
And while I'm here, I was wondering
496
00:21:48,963 --> 00:21:50,245
if you could help me with something.
497
00:21:50,246 --> 00:21:52,094
The answer is no.
498
00:21:52,095 --> 00:21:53,130
And what did you do
when the doctor said
499
00:21:53,131 --> 00:21:54,306
you're not supposed to go out?
500
00:21:54,307 --> 00:21:55,685
Well, if you're willing
to fight me over it,
501
00:21:55,686 --> 00:21:56,698
we could strike a deal.
502
00:21:56,699 --> 00:21:58,309
Well, that kinda defeats
the purpose of making sure
503
00:21:58,310 --> 00:21:59,506
you don't get hurt.
504
00:21:59,507 --> 00:22:01,507
There isn't a chance in
hell you could hurt me.
505
00:22:02,157 --> 00:22:04,141
Chuck, I know you saw the blast
506
00:22:04,266 --> 00:22:06,201
about Blair and Louis
going to the event tonight.
507
00:22:06,942 --> 00:22:09,345
It's not worth puncturing a
lung to get her attention.
508
00:22:09,346 --> 00:22:11,553
Blair's attention is the
last thing on my mind.
509
00:22:11,554 --> 00:22:13,990
Come on, man.
You do something dangerous.
510
00:22:14,115 --> 00:22:16,933
"Gossip Girl" reports it.
Blair comes to your rescue.
511
00:22:16,934 --> 00:22:18,161
Some might call that a pattern.
512
00:22:18,162 --> 00:22:20,741
Humphrey,
you know nothing about our situation.
513
00:22:20,742 --> 00:22:22,634
Well, I do know that
Blair is over you.
514
00:22:22,635 --> 00:22:24,945
You weren't even the last one
to kiss her before Louis. I was.
515
00:22:24,946 --> 00:22:27,600
While her lips may
have brushed yours,
516
00:22:27,725 --> 00:22:30,462
the last person she was
with before she left was me.
517
00:22:30,978 --> 00:22:33,218
I'm referring to full
carnal knowledge.
518
00:22:34,524 --> 00:22:36,630
A kiss is just a kiss.
519
00:22:36,631 --> 00:22:39,062
That hurt? Wish I could feel it.
520
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:40,690
Poor lonely boy,
521
00:22:40,691 --> 00:22:43,779
even on the outer boroughs of love.
522
00:22:55,507 --> 00:22:56,233
Excuse me, ma'am,
523
00:22:56,234 --> 00:22:58,989
I think you were fired
from this establishment.
524
00:23:00,062 --> 00:23:01,743
I want to go to Portland.
525
00:23:02,299 --> 00:23:04,466
If this is about your audition,
526
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:07,521
you can't let one bad experience
make you give up on your dreams.
527
00:23:07,522 --> 00:23:10,916
My dreams will never come
true if we stay here,
528
00:23:10,917 --> 00:23:12,981
but yours could if we leave.
529
00:23:12,982 --> 00:23:15,446
I thought about it,
and you were right.
530
00:23:15,793 --> 00:23:18,498
Let's go before we're
forced to leave.
531
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,102
Okay, if you're sure.
532
00:23:21,198 --> 00:23:23,087
I'll tell the manager when
she gets back from break.
533
00:23:24,519 --> 00:23:25,785
Hey, this is gonna be good.
534
00:23:25,786 --> 00:23:28,939
I can feel it.
We'll be like Bonnie and Clyde.
535
00:23:29,203 --> 00:23:31,875
Without the killing and
robbing and car chases.
536
00:23:32,599 --> 00:23:33,970
I'm gonna go home and pack.
537
00:23:33,971 --> 00:23:34,998
Okay.
538
00:23:50,562 --> 00:23:52,401
I must have gained
10 pounds last year.
539
00:23:52,402 --> 00:23:54,131
It's so delicious.
540
00:23:54,246 --> 00:23:55,207
Louis.
541
00:23:55,522 --> 00:23:56,578
Mon père.
542
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,730
I am sorry we missed you at
Cap d'Antibes this summer.
543
00:24:00,731 --> 00:24:03,116
Well, your missionary
work is more important.
544
00:24:03,370 --> 00:24:06,820
Blair, this is Father Cavalia,
the man who will marry us.
545
00:24:07,358 --> 00:24:08,062
Bonjour.
546
00:24:08,063 --> 00:24:10,809
How wonderful. Well, I'm so sorry
547
00:24:10,810 --> 00:24:13,159
you can't be in your own
church on this devout day.
548
00:24:13,443 --> 00:24:16,482
Perhaps if you got on the plane
right now, you could make it?
549
00:24:17,266 --> 00:24:18,339
Don't be silly.
550
00:24:18,340 --> 00:24:20,693
This way,
I have a chance to get to know you
551
00:24:20,694 --> 00:24:22,359
away from all my duties.
552
00:24:22,967 --> 00:24:25,752
Did you enjoy a religious upbringing,
Miss Waldorf?
553
00:24:25,775 --> 00:24:27,762
My family's of mixed faith,
554
00:24:28,222 --> 00:24:30,479
but I've always
appreciated a confessional.
555
00:24:30,837 --> 00:24:32,165
In fact,
I'm gonna go find one right now.
556
00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:34,198
As you know,
the confessionnal is not available
557
00:24:34,199 --> 00:24:35,595
during a celebration.
558
00:24:36,079 --> 00:24:37,558
Ah. Génial.
559
00:24:37,683 --> 00:24:40,243
Have you ever tried a Barbagiuan?
560
00:24:40,323 --> 00:24:42,258
Mmm, my favorite.
561
00:24:42,711 --> 00:24:46,462
It's filled with pumpkin and spices
562
00:24:46,463 --> 00:24:47,679
and butter.
563
00:24:53,356 --> 00:24:55,853
Mmm, mmm.
564
00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:58,138
It's delicious.
565
00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:02,416
- Alors, je vous laisse, à plus tard.
- À plus tard.
566
00:25:03,725 --> 00:25:05,897
I can't help it. I love those.
567
00:25:09,798 --> 00:25:11,252
Je vous salue, Marie.
568
00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:14,262
Surely the virgin
mother can show mercy
569
00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:15,808
to those on earth still suffering
570
00:25:15,809 --> 00:25:17,283
while she rises to heaven.
571
00:25:23,234 --> 00:25:24,294
I-if you'll excuse me,
572
00:25:24,295 --> 00:25:27,092
I see a lost soul
in need of guidance.
573
00:25:27,391 --> 00:25:29,673
Thank you. I will never question
574
00:25:29,674 --> 00:25:31,421
the paternity of your child again.
575
00:25:31,546 --> 00:25:35,256
I told you. She can't even keep
down one bite of Barbagiuan.
576
00:25:35,257 --> 00:25:37,087
You're starting to sound like mother.
577
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:39,754
But unlike her, who doesn't
care about anyone but herself,
578
00:25:39,755 --> 00:25:42,700
I'm trying to save your fiancée.
Why aren't you?
579
00:25:42,701 --> 00:25:44,852
Blair, hey, listen,
I know you don't wanna see me right now,
580
00:25:44,853 --> 00:25:47,457
probably not ever,
but I'm not here to cause problems.
581
00:25:47,772 --> 00:25:50,093
I can't say the same about Chuck.
Have you seen him?
582
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:51,900
Walk with me.
583
00:25:58,129 --> 00:26:01,254
Well, thanks for coming back,
Diana Payne.
584
00:26:01,255 --> 00:26:03,588
Ah, you found the card
I left for your mother.
585
00:26:03,589 --> 00:26:04,633
Please tell me it
was her who texted me
586
00:26:04,634 --> 00:26:06,023
to come back here and not you.
587
00:26:06,024 --> 00:26:07,618
Oh, she's right inside.
588
00:26:07,743 --> 00:26:09,283
So why are we out here?
589
00:26:09,357 --> 00:26:11,200
Her text said she'd relented
and agreed to talk to me
590
00:26:11,201 --> 00:26:12,285
for my "Spectator" article.
591
00:26:12,286 --> 00:26:14,407
She did.
There are just a few final details
592
00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:16,155
that need to be worked out first.
593
00:26:16,156 --> 00:26:17,435
I know. She has a concern
594
00:26:17,436 --> 00:26:19,426
that I'm turning the "Spectator"
into a tabloid,
595
00:26:19,427 --> 00:26:21,206
but I'm very happy to
give her story approval.
596
00:26:21,207 --> 00:26:22,449
Wait, wait, wait. What about me?
597
00:26:22,450 --> 00:26:25,371
I mean, I am the one who convinced her,
after all.
598
00:26:25,607 --> 00:26:26,365
I mean, don't you think
599
00:26:26,366 --> 00:26:28,800
there should be some sort of,
you know, finder's fee?
600
00:26:30,022 --> 00:26:31,211
Are you trying to trade
601
00:26:31,212 --> 00:26:33,490
my interview with
your mother for sex?
602
00:26:33,491 --> 00:26:37,706
Well, I would've called it a date,
but yeah, basically.
603
00:26:37,707 --> 00:26:39,832
How do I know your
mother's really inside?
604
00:26:40,111 --> 00:26:41,411
Well, you can watch me open the door
605
00:26:41,412 --> 00:26:43,747
and tell her that we'll
be back in an hour.
606
00:26:44,021 --> 00:26:45,889
What makes you think
we need that long?
607
00:26:46,194 --> 00:26:47,404
Stamina.
608
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:14,874
Serena.
609
00:27:15,439 --> 00:27:16,844
What are you doing here?
610
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:19,915
I got your address off the
check that the realtor gave me.
611
00:27:19,916 --> 00:27:21,768
I'm sorry. I...
612
00:27:21,888 --> 00:27:25,619
Was a flake and forgot
to look at my balance.
613
00:27:25,744 --> 00:27:29,704
Okay, but you can just stop.
I know what really happened.
614
00:27:30,892 --> 00:27:34,223
Out. The princess needs privacy.
615
00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:37,565
My security detail
will escort any of you
616
00:27:37,566 --> 00:27:39,683
who are not willing
to go out on your own.
617
00:27:44,384 --> 00:27:46,089
Security detail?
618
00:27:46,638 --> 00:27:48,202
What's going on?
Blair, I thought you were mad at me.
619
00:27:48,203 --> 00:27:50,300
And you have my forgiveness
620
00:27:50,301 --> 00:27:51,660
if you shut up and guard the door.
621
00:27:51,661 --> 00:27:52,723
It's not like you to forgive me
622
00:27:52,724 --> 00:27:53,981
or run away from a feast.
623
00:27:53,982 --> 00:27:56,666
Might this have something to do
with you sleeping with Chuck?
624
00:27:56,915 --> 00:28:00,714
How in the world did you know that?
Forget it.
625
00:28:00,715 --> 00:28:02,469
I don't even have time to care.
626
00:28:02,470 --> 00:28:04,039
What don't you understand
about "guard the door"?
627
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,133
I can't believe that I
thought you changed last year,
628
00:28:06,134 --> 00:28:07,957
and since you didn't,
Chuck is now going off the deep end
629
00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:09,192
trying to get your attention again.
630
00:28:09,193 --> 00:28:11,278
No, now that's where you're wrong.
631
00:28:11,279 --> 00:28:13,952
Whatever he's doing isn't about me.
632
00:28:13,953 --> 00:28:16,120
He was the one who
told me to marry Louis,
633
00:28:16,121 --> 00:28:17,399
and he meant it.
634
00:28:18,084 --> 00:28:20,228
Now you're gonna be
sorry you didn't guard.
635
00:28:20,254 --> 00:28:23,262
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you gonna go with me in here?
636
00:28:23,387 --> 00:28:25,154
I'm not sure our
friendship can handle that.
637
00:28:25,155 --> 00:28:26,304
"Friendship" is a tenuous term.
638
00:28:26,305 --> 00:28:28,428
Now be a gentleman and...
run the water.
639
00:28:34,732 --> 00:28:36,679
Uh, I'm sorry.
You're gonna have to leave.
640
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,087
The Princess is getting sick.
641
00:28:39,212 --> 00:28:42,252
Of course she is.
I'll bring her fiancé right away.
642
00:28:49,533 --> 00:28:51,317
I forgive you. Are you happy?
643
00:28:51,318 --> 00:28:53,174
No. I'm worried.
644
00:28:53,175 --> 00:28:54,335
Are you bulimic again?
645
00:28:54,336 --> 00:28:55,359
No!
646
00:28:55,690 --> 00:28:59,150
I was just sick of listening
to your inane questions.
647
00:28:59,690 --> 00:29:01,636
Now I need to say a
prayer for tolerance
648
00:29:01,637 --> 00:29:02,589
and get out there.
649
00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:04,628
Eating disorders can return
when people are stressed.
650
00:29:04,629 --> 00:29:07,290
Clearly, Chuck is not the
only one freaking out here.
651
00:29:07,291 --> 00:29:08,413
The only thing freaking me out
652
00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:09,904
is that Louis' sister
might notice I'm gone
653
00:29:09,905 --> 00:29:11,236
and get suspicious.
654
00:29:11,237 --> 00:29:12,616
Why would you worry about
her being suspicious
655
00:29:12,617 --> 00:29:14,172
if you weren't bulimic?
656
00:29:14,173 --> 00:29:16,399
Blair, this isn't a joke.
We are not leaving this room
657
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:17,837
until you agree to get help.
658
00:29:17,838 --> 00:29:19,605
I don't need help.
659
00:29:20,710 --> 00:29:23,561
I'm not bulimic. I'm pregnant.
660
00:29:24,984 --> 00:29:27,642
While one mother's life
leads her to heaven,
661
00:29:27,643 --> 00:29:29,768
another's is going straight to hell
662
00:29:29,769 --> 00:29:31,723
in a Moses basket.
663
00:29:38,802 --> 00:29:39,905
Beatrice?
664
00:29:41,177 --> 00:29:42,949
You have to understand.
665
00:29:43,374 --> 00:29:44,787
It's still so early.
666
00:29:44,871 --> 00:29:45,881
I didn't wanna get Louis' hopes up
667
00:29:45,882 --> 00:29:48,855
if things weren't okay.
I was gonna tell him.
668
00:29:48,980 --> 00:29:50,906
What were you going to tell me?
669
00:29:56,233 --> 00:29:58,264
About her wonderful idea, Louis.
670
00:30:01,315 --> 00:30:02,530
I have so many.
671
00:30:02,824 --> 00:30:03,704
You know, the one
672
00:30:03,705 --> 00:30:06,477
about inviting the
homeless into our meal.
673
00:30:06,602 --> 00:30:07,835
To dine with us?
674
00:30:08,034 --> 00:30:09,420
You're too modest.
675
00:30:09,545 --> 00:30:11,333
I was telling Blair about
our missionary work,
676
00:30:11,334 --> 00:30:13,693
and she suggested we share our meal
677
00:30:13,694 --> 00:30:17,291
with those less fortunate.
I think it's wonderful.
678
00:30:19,216 --> 00:30:20,279
Of course.
679
00:30:20,745 --> 00:30:22,976
Yes, not to have them eat with us
680
00:30:22,977 --> 00:30:26,148
but to serve them the food,
681
00:30:26,273 --> 00:30:29,086
like in a soup kitchen,
with gloves on.
682
00:30:30,188 --> 00:30:31,913
It's a wonderful idea.
683
00:30:33,571 --> 00:30:36,634
Spotted...Chuck on the
wrong side of town.
684
00:30:36,959 --> 00:30:40,174
Looks like Bassman doesn't
have enough of a dark side.
685
00:30:40,175 --> 00:30:42,319
He has to take a walk on one, too.
686
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,452
Um... I should go.
687
00:30:45,936 --> 00:30:47,680
You promise you won't say anything?
688
00:30:48,275 --> 00:30:50,457
Yes, but you can't hide this forever.
689
00:30:58,667 --> 00:31:00,434
I think you were right
about her, Louis.
690
00:31:00,435 --> 00:31:02,817
She'll make a perfect princess.
691
00:31:03,825 --> 00:31:07,124
And... you the perfect sister-in-law.
692
00:31:09,111 --> 00:31:11,111
You know, I swear,
I just took that checkbook
693
00:31:11,112 --> 00:31:12,496
in case of an emergency.
694
00:31:12,497 --> 00:31:13,922
I didn't wanna use it.
695
00:31:13,923 --> 00:31:16,692
Well, why not? It belongs to you.
696
00:31:18,029 --> 00:31:18,920
It does?
697
00:31:18,921 --> 00:31:21,288
Yeah, your mom can't cut you off
just because you leave Florida.
698
00:31:21,289 --> 00:31:23,646
That's not fair.
I was actually gonna call her,
699
00:31:23,647 --> 00:31:25,699
but I was waiting till you got back.
700
00:31:26,488 --> 00:31:28,300
I don't wanna involve her.
701
00:31:28,425 --> 00:31:30,620
I'm the one who told her
I wanted to make it on my own.
702
00:31:30,621 --> 00:31:32,177
Besides, if she knows where I am,
703
00:31:32,178 --> 00:31:34,329
then she's just gonna
try to make me come back.
704
00:31:34,677 --> 00:31:35,769
That's true.
705
00:31:36,569 --> 00:31:38,647
But you can't live... here.
706
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:42,285
You have to come live with me.
707
00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:46,419
I'd love to, but I can't afford it.
708
00:31:46,459 --> 00:31:48,894
You can once grandma calls the
bank and makes it impossible
709
00:31:48,895 --> 00:31:50,825
for your mom to cut you off again.
710
00:31:52,169 --> 00:31:53,893
I don't think that
that's such a good idea.
711
00:31:53,894 --> 00:31:56,198
I don't wanna make her any more mad.
712
00:31:56,199 --> 00:31:59,710
Well, she'll never find out.
Look, I explained to Cece
713
00:31:59,711 --> 00:32:02,033
how bad being around
your mom is for you,
714
00:32:02,034 --> 00:32:04,198
and she doesn't wanna deal
with Carol's wrath either,
715
00:32:04,199 --> 00:32:05,674
so she won't tell.
716
00:32:08,536 --> 00:32:10,040
I don't know what to say.
717
00:32:10,552 --> 00:32:13,086
I can't believe that you
would do this for me.
718
00:32:13,087 --> 00:32:15,473
You can show your
gratitude by packing.
719
00:32:15,723 --> 00:32:17,021
I have to go meet my boss,
720
00:32:17,022 --> 00:32:19,161
but I'll come pick you up after.
721
00:32:19,651 --> 00:32:21,912
We Rhodes girls need
to stick together.
722
00:32:30,067 --> 00:32:31,098
Get him up!
723
00:32:36,677 --> 00:32:38,111
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Again?
724
00:32:38,112 --> 00:32:40,011
Guys, come on. You can't...
725
00:32:41,685 --> 00:32:44,147
Hey!
I'm not part of his payment plan.
726
00:32:44,148 --> 00:32:45,602
Sorry. Mr. Bass said
727
00:32:45,603 --> 00:32:47,599
nothing should stop us
except his safe word.
728
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,232
This is serious. He could die.
729
00:32:49,233 --> 00:32:52,791
"Though this be madness,
yet there is some method in't."
730
00:32:53,860 --> 00:32:55,373
Guess that wasn't the safe word.
731
00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:57,706
Chuck. Chuck, tell 'em to stop.
732
00:32:58,123 --> 00:33:01,719
Okay. Fine. Stop.
733
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:02,739
Let's go.
734
00:33:05,521 --> 00:33:07,340
"Stop"? Really? That's it?
735
00:33:07,341 --> 00:33:08,909
I wasn't trying to kill myself.
736
00:33:08,910 --> 00:33:10,547
Then what the hell were you doing?
737
00:33:14,414 --> 00:33:16,009
I was hoping it would hurt.
738
00:33:16,861 --> 00:33:19,309
What, to--to dull the
pain of losing Blair?
739
00:33:19,321 --> 00:33:21,019
That's what you don't understand.
740
00:33:21,267 --> 00:33:24,238
I feel nothing when
I see her and Louis
741
00:33:24,239 --> 00:33:26,852
or when I jump off a building
742
00:33:27,290 --> 00:33:28,724
or when I crash a motorcycle.
743
00:33:28,725 --> 00:33:32,808
Even you don't irritate me.
744
00:33:32,809 --> 00:33:34,565
Well, having these guys beat you up
745
00:33:34,566 --> 00:33:36,714
is not the way to try
to feel something.
746
00:33:37,216 --> 00:33:38,454
You...you could have died.
747
00:33:39,621 --> 00:33:43,140
Is being dead that much
worse than being nothing?
748
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,553
I still don't know how you
got your mother to agree
749
00:33:50,554 --> 00:33:52,864
after she slammed
the door in my face.
750
00:33:52,891 --> 00:33:53,493
I just told her
751
00:33:53,494 --> 00:33:55,303
it was her chance to tell
her side of the story
752
00:33:55,304 --> 00:33:57,007
and move on with her life.
753
00:33:57,008 --> 00:33:59,414
And that it made her seem
classier than Ruth Madoff.
754
00:33:59,539 --> 00:34:01,675
Clever. That's all it took?
755
00:34:01,676 --> 00:34:03,955
Well, I had to let her
decide on my internship...
756
00:34:03,956 --> 00:34:05,644
Goldman or Schumer.
757
00:34:05,767 --> 00:34:06,835
Why do either?
758
00:34:06,836 --> 00:34:09,083
Well, like I said in L.A,
I need to figure out my future,
759
00:34:09,084 --> 00:34:11,057
and, you know, both are great options
760
00:34:11,058 --> 00:34:12,746
other people would kill for.
761
00:34:13,189 --> 00:34:14,993
How about working for me instead?
762
00:34:15,410 --> 00:34:17,361
I'm not a journalist.
763
00:34:17,362 --> 00:34:19,142
I'm not looking for you to be one.
764
00:34:19,143 --> 00:34:20,484
The newspaper is just the cornerstone
765
00:34:20,485 --> 00:34:23,252
of what I hope is gonna
be a new media empire.
766
00:34:23,263 --> 00:34:24,595
Someone with your persuasive skills
767
00:34:24,596 --> 00:34:26,746
could be great at sales or marketing.
768
00:34:26,859 --> 00:34:28,845
Once you know how to
control information,
769
00:34:28,846 --> 00:34:32,837
you can do anything with it... politics,
banking, whatever.
770
00:34:32,838 --> 00:34:34,574
While that sounds great,
771
00:34:34,575 --> 00:34:36,292
I would have to get my
family to approve me
772
00:34:36,293 --> 00:34:37,953
pulling out of this other thing.
773
00:34:37,954 --> 00:34:41,382
Well, just remind them what
"George" did for J.F.K. Jr.
774
00:34:42,323 --> 00:34:44,013
See you at the office next week.
775
00:34:46,032 --> 00:34:47,309
Watch out, Nate.
776
00:34:47,310 --> 00:34:52,146
Looks like sex play may not be
the only game you're a pawn in.
777
00:34:57,622 --> 00:35:00,906
So it looks like something
called a conversion disorder.
778
00:35:00,907 --> 00:35:04,021
People become blind,
paralyzed, or unable to feel
779
00:35:04,022 --> 00:35:06,423
after experiencing a
psychological trauma,
780
00:35:06,424 --> 00:35:08,819
I.E., Blair leaving you forever.
781
00:35:08,820 --> 00:35:10,619
It's a little like P.T.S.D.
782
00:35:10,620 --> 00:35:12,316
If you say so.
783
00:35:12,441 --> 00:35:13,797
You should see someone.
784
00:35:14,039 --> 00:35:16,832
Treatment involves trying to
make the patient feel again.
785
00:35:16,833 --> 00:35:19,381
That's what I was doing
before you showed up.
786
00:35:19,734 --> 00:35:24,501
Well, how about instead of pain,
you try to feel good things?
787
00:35:25,398 --> 00:35:26,754
I could tickle you.
788
00:35:27,135 --> 00:35:29,165
I'd rather hire someone
else to do that,
789
00:35:29,166 --> 00:35:31,729
thank you,
but it wouldn't work either.
790
00:35:31,730 --> 00:35:34,790
Why don't we discuss why you
needed my help before instead?
791
00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:36,924
Um... I wrote a novel.
792
00:35:36,925 --> 00:35:38,563
It was something I was
working on for a while.
793
00:35:38,564 --> 00:35:41,189
No one was supposed to see it,
but then Vanessa found it
794
00:35:41,190 --> 00:35:44,040
and sent it to a publisher,
so I need to find out which one
795
00:35:44,041 --> 00:35:46,520
so I can, uh,
I can stop it from coming out.
796
00:35:46,521 --> 00:35:47,772
Forgive me for stating the obvious,
797
00:35:47,773 --> 00:35:50,416
but isn't being published
a writer's goal?
798
00:35:50,417 --> 00:35:53,420
Not for this book.
It's... it's a scathing social satire
799
00:35:53,421 --> 00:35:55,391
about everyone I know, including you.
800
00:35:55,659 --> 00:35:57,190
Return of Charlie Trout.
801
00:35:57,191 --> 00:35:59,545
Hmm. I need to get into
Vanessa's bank account
802
00:35:59,546 --> 00:36:01,280
so I can see who's
making the deposits
803
00:36:01,281 --> 00:36:02,934
before anyone sees what I wrote.
804
00:36:02,935 --> 00:36:05,320
Well, just because I
can't feel anything
805
00:36:05,321 --> 00:36:08,775
shouldn't mean everyone else
has to endure a humiliation.
806
00:36:11,187 --> 00:36:12,336
I'll help you.
807
00:36:17,819 --> 00:36:18,738
Hi.
808
00:36:19,986 --> 00:36:22,639
So Jason said we could crash
with him and his roommates
809
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,691
until we find our own place.
810
00:36:26,617 --> 00:36:27,774
Max...
811
00:36:29,221 --> 00:36:30,325
What's going on?
812
00:36:31,757 --> 00:36:33,151
I don't think I can go.
813
00:36:33,152 --> 00:36:35,110
What are you talking about?
It'll be great.
814
00:36:35,235 --> 00:36:37,680
I even got us onion-flavored
snacks for the road.
815
00:36:38,279 --> 00:36:39,435
And these things.
816
00:36:42,629 --> 00:36:43,798
What changed?
817
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,588
Remember what you said.
818
00:36:47,067 --> 00:36:48,858
This isn't giving up on our dreams.
819
00:36:49,175 --> 00:36:51,416
It's just making them
happen in a different place.
820
00:37:04,310 --> 00:37:05,331
I'm sorry.
821
00:37:06,341 --> 00:37:08,272
I just realized that
822
00:37:08,397 --> 00:37:12,225
what's making
me unhappy in L.A. isn't L.A.
823
00:37:14,349 --> 00:37:15,466
It's you.
824
00:37:16,392 --> 00:37:18,697
Where is this coming from?
I love you.
825
00:37:18,698 --> 00:37:20,980
I'm sorry.
I wish I could explain better,
826
00:37:20,981 --> 00:37:22,235
but I can't.
827
00:37:22,236 --> 00:37:24,891
Just... be happy
828
00:37:25,016 --> 00:37:28,860
and... know that I
never meant to hurt you.
829
00:37:30,833 --> 00:37:33,819
How well do any of us
really know each other?
830
00:37:33,883 --> 00:37:36,153
Even families have their secrets.
831
00:37:36,154 --> 00:37:39,254
We were so close.
I could even see my mother's face
832
00:37:39,255 --> 00:37:43,776
as Louis gave away his title
because his fiancée was bulimic.
833
00:37:43,879 --> 00:37:46,052
She would have never forgiven him.
834
00:37:46,482 --> 00:37:48,538
It would have been perfect.
835
00:37:48,550 --> 00:37:50,944
Why not just tell
her Blair's pregnant?
836
00:37:51,383 --> 00:37:53,782
Please.
Nothing would make her happier
837
00:37:53,783 --> 00:37:56,457
than a grandchild by Golden boy.
838
00:37:56,464 --> 00:37:58,692
I just have to find
another way to get Louis
839
00:37:58,693 --> 00:38:02,598
out of Monaco for good so
my mother will finally see
840
00:38:02,599 --> 00:38:05,813
I was the right choice all along.
841
00:38:07,329 --> 00:38:09,063
Vengeance becomes you.
842
00:38:23,851 --> 00:38:24,972
Thank you.
843
00:38:25,014 --> 00:38:27,606
So how did your crazy
roommate take it?
844
00:38:27,673 --> 00:38:30,665
It wasn't easy, but he'll be fine.
845
00:38:30,717 --> 00:38:32,651
Well, maybe you should
get further from him
846
00:38:32,652 --> 00:38:34,502
than just Santa Monica.
847
00:38:34,952 --> 00:38:36,601
I'm sure it's okay.
848
00:38:36,726 --> 00:38:38,949
Unless you found us a
different apartment.
849
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:41,831
Mm, how about one
on the Upper East Side?
850
00:38:42,484 --> 00:38:43,904
What are you talking about?
851
00:38:43,905 --> 00:38:46,189
Well, turns out my boss was only in L.A.
for the movie.
852
00:38:46,190 --> 00:38:48,356
So my meeting was about
transferring her back
853
00:38:48,357 --> 00:38:52,112
to her New York office,
and I want you to come with me.
854
00:38:52,390 --> 00:38:54,640
Last time didn't work out so well.
855
00:38:54,641 --> 00:38:57,567
Well, this time,
you won't have your mom to worry about,
856
00:38:57,568 --> 00:39:01,118
and you'll have your trust
fund and your family.
857
00:39:01,214 --> 00:39:04,210
Cece wants us to stay with her
in Montecito until we leave,
858
00:39:04,211 --> 00:39:05,546
and her house is huge.
859
00:39:05,547 --> 00:39:09,321
You would love it. Please.
All you have to do is say yes.
860
00:39:12,327 --> 00:39:13,358
Why not?
861
00:39:14,413 --> 00:39:15,823
I think I'm done here.
862
00:39:19,260 --> 00:39:22,162
They say blood is thicker than water.
863
00:39:22,938 --> 00:39:26,808
But it's also a lot harder
to clean up when it spills.
864
00:39:39,677 --> 00:39:40,375
If I'd known any better,
865
00:39:40,376 --> 00:39:41,971
I'd think you're starting
to like Brooklyn.
866
00:39:42,514 --> 00:39:44,643
It isn't Brooklyn I'm here for.
867
00:39:46,574 --> 00:39:47,565
You're the only person I can have
868
00:39:47,566 --> 00:39:51,267
a furtive, emotionally loaded
conversation with right now.
869
00:39:52,339 --> 00:39:53,388
How's Chuck?
870
00:39:53,389 --> 00:39:57,882
Uh, he's... okay. Sort of.
Long Freudian story.
871
00:39:57,883 --> 00:39:58,919
How are you?
872
00:39:59,476 --> 00:40:00,593
Pregnant.
873
00:40:02,190 --> 00:40:03,983
That makes it sound more real.
874
00:40:04,751 --> 00:40:07,460
I had hoped denial would last
longer as a coping mechanism,
875
00:40:07,461 --> 00:40:09,658
but breast tenderness
and morning sickness
876
00:40:09,659 --> 00:40:11,085
made that impossible.
877
00:40:13,542 --> 00:40:17,165
You know, you do have options.
878
00:40:17,331 --> 00:40:18,956
And I've considered them all,
879
00:40:19,630 --> 00:40:22,601
but no matter what,
this baby was conceived out of love,
880
00:40:22,602 --> 00:40:25,335
and... I'm gonna keep it.
881
00:40:28,173 --> 00:40:31,073
Have you not told Louis
because it might be Chuck's?
882
00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:33,735
I only slept with him once.
883
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,644
I slept with Louis a hundred times.
884
00:40:36,645 --> 00:40:39,500
He may be mild-mannered,
but he's surprisingly virile.
885
00:40:39,864 --> 00:40:41,808
So by the sheer law of probability,
886
00:40:41,809 --> 00:40:43,115
it must be his.
887
00:40:43,117 --> 00:40:45,809
Well, except the
definition of "probability"
888
00:40:46,659 --> 00:40:50,270
is "strong likelihood" not,
uh, "known fact"
889
00:40:50,986 --> 00:40:53,460
haven't you read
"The Power of Positive Thinking"?
890
00:40:53,511 --> 00:40:56,737
Put your giant intellect
aside and just focus with me
891
00:40:56,738 --> 00:40:57,866
on wish fulfillment.
892
00:40:57,867 --> 00:40:59,082
This is not that kind of situation.
893
00:40:59,083 --> 00:41:02,326
Even Blair Waldorf cannot bend D.N.A.
to her will.
894
00:41:05,185 --> 00:41:08,925
I am about to marry a fabulous man...
895
00:41:10,068 --> 00:41:12,465
Who happens to be a prince.
896
00:41:14,772 --> 00:41:16,917
I can't be this close to
having all my dreams come true
897
00:41:16,918 --> 00:41:20,351
only to have them yanked
away by one transgression
898
00:41:20,352 --> 00:41:22,303
at a stranger's Bar Mitzvah.
899
00:41:24,251 --> 00:41:25,020
Look, I know it's scary,
900
00:41:25,021 --> 00:41:27,848
but I think you should
know who the father is,
901
00:41:28,464 --> 00:41:30,984
if not for yourself,
then for the baby.
902
00:41:31,363 --> 00:41:37,338
Sync by YYeTs
Correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
903
00:41:38,146 --> 00:41:39,896
And what if I lose everything?
904
00:41:41,021 --> 00:41:42,402
You'll still have me.
905
00:41:43,896 --> 00:41:46,936
Maybe it's not blood bonds
that make us a family.
906
00:41:46,937 --> 00:41:49,481
Perhaps it's the people
who know our secrets
907
00:41:49,482 --> 00:41:54,137
and love us anyway,
so we can finally be ourselves.
908
00:41:54,442 --> 00:41:56,929
X.O.X.O. Gossip Girl.