1 00:00:03,490 --> 00:00:04,554 Welcome back. 2 00:00:04,589 --> 00:00:05,654 We're here talking with all-star 3 00:00:05,688 --> 00:00:07,286 shooting guard Charlie Sanders 4 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,685 about his amazing career. 5 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:09,951 Now Charlie, you grew up 6 00:00:09,986 --> 00:00:11,483 in a tough neighborhood, didn't you? 7 00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:14,854 That's right. Drugs, violence. 8 00:00:14,888 --> 00:00:16,891 My whole life, I had to deal with Adversity. 9 00:00:16,925 --> 00:00:18,956 And that continued When you went on to the pros? 10 00:00:18,991 --> 00:00:19,989 That's right. 11 00:00:20,023 --> 00:00:22,454 You know, fines, Injuries, everything. 12 00:00:22,488 --> 00:00:25,419 No matter How big a star I am, 13 00:00:25,453 --> 00:00:27,886 I'm always gonna Be dealing with Adversity. 14 00:00:27,921 --> 00:00:30,353 Adversity Johnson, What's your take on this? 15 00:00:30,387 --> 00:00:32,722 I don't know, girl. I just like [bleep] with him. 16 00:00:32,756 --> 00:00:33,723 - Just like, eh. - Ah! 17 00:00:33,757 --> 00:00:35,257 Come on, Adversity. 18 00:00:35,292 --> 00:00:37,525 Deal with me, dog! (laughs) 19 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:38,725 (loud slap) (groans) 20 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,059 (laughs maniacally) 21 00:00:40,094 --> 00:00:43,528 I said, "Deal with me!" 22 00:00:43,563 --> 00:00:44,796 Always. 23 00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:47,462 Wherever we go, it's-- 24 00:00:47,497 --> 00:00:49,964 Come on, no, don't. Don't drink my water. 25 00:00:49,999 --> 00:00:52,266 Don't drink my water. Adversity, leave me some. 26 00:00:52,301 --> 00:00:53,801 Leave me a sip. Leave me a sip. 27 00:00:53,835 --> 00:00:55,469 Damn, come on, man. 28 00:00:55,503 --> 00:00:56,970 (loud slap) Aah! 29 00:00:57,004 --> 00:00:58,537 Deal with me! (laughs) 30 00:00:58,571 --> 00:01:01,973 This--he doesn't-- I'm sorry. 31 00:01:02,008 --> 00:01:05,408 No, he doesn't pick up social cues. 32 00:01:05,443 --> 00:01:07,442 What? Here we-- 33 00:01:07,476 --> 00:01:09,276 (screams) 34 00:01:09,310 --> 00:01:12,746 - Deal with me! - Titty twister, titty twister. 35 00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:13,980 - Come on. - Are you okay? 36 00:01:14,014 --> 00:01:14,980 No! 37 00:01:15,015 --> 00:01:17,982 (soul music) 38 00:01:18,016 --> 00:01:21,759 ♪ 39 00:01:28,626 --> 00:01:33,251 Sync & corrections by dwigt www.addic7ed.com 40 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:36,128 (cheers and applause) 41 00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,697 Aw, yeah. 42 00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,364 Oh. 43 00:01:40,398 --> 00:01:41,732 Hey! 44 00:01:41,766 --> 00:01:43,033 Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! 45 00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:46,735 (crowd barks) 46 00:01:46,769 --> 00:01:49,738 Don't start that. That--that won't stop. 47 00:01:49,772 --> 00:01:51,306 They will do that Every time. 48 00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:52,940 Good evening, everybody. I'm Keegan-Michael Key. 49 00:01:52,975 --> 00:01:54,674 - I'm Jordan Peele. - And we are Key and Peele. 50 00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:59,644 (cheers and applause) 51 00:01:59,678 --> 00:02:01,278 We do shows every now and then 52 00:02:01,313 --> 00:02:02,313 where we travel a little bit. 53 00:02:02,347 --> 00:02:04,014 And so, when we were in the airport-- 54 00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:05,816 - I just wanna get there. - You get so worked up. 55 00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:07,517 I just don't want there to be anything 56 00:02:07,551 --> 00:02:09,152 to get in the way of me getting on the flight. 57 00:02:09,186 --> 00:02:10,586 You get impatient in the lines. 58 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,554 I do get impatient in the lines sometimes, yeah. 59 00:02:12,589 --> 00:02:14,589 He hates it when dudes are, like, indecisive 60 00:02:14,624 --> 00:02:16,458 next to him about where they are in the line. 61 00:02:16,492 --> 00:02:19,127 Talking about... 62 00:02:19,161 --> 00:02:23,397 (laughter) 63 00:02:29,336 --> 00:02:31,203 (laughs) 64 00:02:33,072 --> 00:02:34,172 What are you doing Right now? 65 00:02:34,206 --> 00:02:35,506 I'm sorry, I can't hear what-- 66 00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:37,708 - What are you saying? - Oh. 67 00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:38,809 Are you in line? 68 00:02:38,843 --> 00:02:39,977 Oh, I was gonna ask you the same thing. 69 00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:41,278 Yeah, I'm-- I'm definitely in line. 70 00:02:41,312 --> 00:02:42,679 Yeah, yeah, me too. I'm in line with you. 71 00:02:42,713 --> 00:02:43,880 No, I'm in line with you. 72 00:02:43,915 --> 00:02:45,448 No, sir, you are perpendicular to the line. 73 00:02:45,482 --> 00:02:46,682 We goin' that way. We goin' that way. 74 00:02:46,717 --> 00:02:47,717 We're definitely going this way. 75 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,051 The plane's gonna be this way. 76 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,387 So if you face this way, you're gonna be out of luck. 77 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,855 Nah, all right, I crab-walk. 78 00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:56,524 I crab-walk. 79 00:02:56,559 --> 00:02:58,559 That's me. 80 00:03:01,496 --> 00:03:02,862 Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. 81 00:03:02,897 --> 00:03:04,363 We are about to begin boarding 82 00:03:04,398 --> 00:03:08,133 South Northern Airlines Flight 34 to Grand Rapids. 83 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:10,502 Oh, okay, I'm--excuse me. Boarding group one. 84 00:03:10,536 --> 00:03:11,536 I'm in boarding group one. Excuse me. 85 00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:12,704 I'm in boarding group one. 86 00:03:12,738 --> 00:03:16,741 And we would like to begin pre-boarding 87 00:03:16,775 --> 00:03:18,309 with our first-class passengers. 88 00:03:18,343 --> 00:03:21,612 First-class passengers only, please. 89 00:03:23,614 --> 00:03:27,450 Next, our business-class passengers may now board. 90 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:31,153 Okay, now we'd like to welcome 91 00:03:31,187 --> 00:03:34,022 Our Regal Alliance Elite members. 92 00:03:34,057 --> 00:03:37,593 Regal Alliance Elite members. 93 00:03:39,596 --> 00:03:41,964 Okay, now all passengers with children. 94 00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:43,131 Okay. 95 00:03:43,165 --> 00:03:44,866 Anyone with small children Mmy board now. 96 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:48,202 (child fussing) 97 00:03:48,237 --> 00:03:50,071 Okay, we would like to continue boarding 98 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,240 with uniformed military personnel. 99 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,774 What? Why can't-- 100 00:03:53,809 --> 00:03:55,877 This is-- Thank you for your service. 101 00:03:55,911 --> 00:03:56,945 Thank you so much For your service. 102 00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:57,946 God bless you. 103 00:03:57,980 --> 00:03:59,414 Thank you for your service. 104 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,016 Thank you for your service. 105 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:05,020 All right, people in wheelchairs. 106 00:04:05,054 --> 00:04:08,691 Any priests, nuns, rabbis, imams. 107 00:04:08,725 --> 00:04:10,660 What? Why do they get special treatment? 108 00:04:10,694 --> 00:04:11,861 As-salaam-alaikum. 109 00:04:11,895 --> 00:04:14,129 I've never-- 110 00:04:14,164 --> 00:04:15,297 That's typical. 111 00:04:15,331 --> 00:04:17,766 Any old people in wheelchairs with babies? 112 00:04:17,801 --> 00:04:20,336 (baby cries) 113 00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:21,637 Doesn't seem particularly-- 114 00:04:21,671 --> 00:04:24,373 Any old, religious people with military babies? 115 00:04:24,407 --> 00:04:27,476 What's a military-- 116 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:32,814 Thank you for your service. 117 00:04:32,848 --> 00:04:35,850 Jason Schwartzman. 118 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,659 Anyone with a blue suitcase, you may now board. 119 00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,027 Finally. 120 00:04:47,062 --> 00:04:49,296 - Nope, not you, sir. - Not me? 121 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,564 This is a blue suitcase. 122 00:04:50,598 --> 00:04:52,065 That's a blue computer bag. 123 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:55,102 So you're not-- you're not gonna let me on then? 124 00:04:59,107 --> 00:05:01,608 (sips loudly) 125 00:05:01,642 --> 00:05:02,843 Damn it! 126 00:05:02,877 --> 00:05:05,545 Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! 127 00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:07,715 God damn it! 128 00:05:07,749 --> 00:05:10,751 Anyone who doesn't seem cranky. 129 00:05:14,823 --> 00:05:16,190 Drunk people. 130 00:05:16,224 --> 00:05:19,960 We will now be boarding any drunk people. 131 00:05:19,995 --> 00:05:22,997 Drunk people. 132 00:05:24,065 --> 00:05:25,999 (grunts) 133 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,568 All right, it's-- 134 00:05:27,602 --> 00:05:29,203 Nope, it's my bag. 135 00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:31,605 Sir. Just-- 136 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,941 (groans) 137 00:05:33,976 --> 00:05:37,344 (indistinct muttering) 138 00:05:45,921 --> 00:05:48,923 (phone rings) Ooh. 139 00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,424 Hello? 140 00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:52,393 Oh, hey, Christian. 141 00:05:52,428 --> 00:05:54,029 Yeah. 142 00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,330 Totally. 143 00:05:55,364 --> 00:05:58,533 Well, you have your favorites, Aad I have my favorites. 144 00:05:58,568 --> 00:06:00,235 (laughs) Okay. 145 00:06:00,269 --> 00:06:01,670 Call you later. 146 00:06:01,704 --> 00:06:04,973 Ciao, ciao. 147 00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:10,711 Boarding group one. 148 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:13,180 (dramatic music) 149 00:06:13,215 --> 00:06:19,420 (sirens wailing) 150 00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:22,654 - Jason Schwartzman! - We've got your hand! 151 00:06:23,262 --> 00:06:25,262 (indistinct chatter) 152 00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:29,329 I got him! I got Schwartzman here! 153 00:06:29,439 --> 00:06:32,073 Hey everyone! Jason Schwartzman's fine! 154 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,567 (cheers and applause) 155 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,570 We got Jason Schwartzman. Let's wrap it up, people. 156 00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,038 (groans) 157 00:06:38,073 --> 00:06:40,240 Boarding group one over here! 158 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,075 Got a boarding group one. (groans) 159 00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:47,270 You know, everybody's had this happen to you, 160 00:06:47,304 --> 00:06:49,138 where somebody's telling you a story, 161 00:06:49,173 --> 00:06:51,140 and halfway through the story, you realize 162 00:06:51,175 --> 00:06:52,542 they're telling you the story 163 00:06:52,576 --> 00:06:54,277 you told them three weeks ago? 164 00:06:54,311 --> 00:06:55,578 It's maddening. 165 00:06:55,612 --> 00:06:56,679 A dude just come up to you, talkin' about, 166 00:06:56,713 --> 00:06:58,014 Hey, man, y'all see, 167 00:06:58,048 --> 00:06:59,282 I was walking down the street, right? 168 00:06:59,316 --> 00:07:01,251 - Uh-huh? - And this bird... 169 00:07:01,286 --> 00:07:02,286 - Yeah. - flew up... 170 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,155 - Yep? - hit my shoulder... 171 00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:07,558 - Yup, yup. - that [bleep] died on impact. 172 00:07:07,592 --> 00:07:08,793 Was that bird a sparrow? 173 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:10,694 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 174 00:07:10,729 --> 00:07:12,796 Did that happen on Santa Monica Boulevard? 175 00:07:12,831 --> 00:07:14,698 - Yes. - Right off of Las Palmas? 176 00:07:14,732 --> 00:07:16,599 How you know that, man? I told you this story? 177 00:07:16,634 --> 00:07:20,369 No, because I told you this story 178 00:07:20,404 --> 00:07:21,971 literally a day ago. 179 00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:22,972 Did I tell you about this other thing 180 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,240 that happened to me, though? 181 00:07:24,275 --> 00:07:25,509 I didn't, but I can't wait to hear it. 182 00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:27,143 Walking down the street, man, 183 00:07:27,178 --> 00:07:29,813 I just felt a drop on my bald head. 184 00:07:29,847 --> 00:07:33,607 (laughter) 185 00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:37,927 (electronic music) 186 00:07:37,989 --> 00:07:39,757 ♪ 187 00:07:39,791 --> 00:07:42,760 Noice! 188 00:07:42,794 --> 00:07:46,689 ♪ 189 00:07:47,532 --> 00:07:50,500 Noice! 190 00:07:50,535 --> 00:07:54,480 ♪ 191 00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:56,973 Noice! 192 00:07:57,008 --> 00:07:59,976 Noice! 193 00:08:00,011 --> 00:08:03,473 (cheers and applause) 194 00:08:05,015 --> 00:08:06,382 - Noice! - Noice! 195 00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:08,418 (laughs) 196 00:08:14,692 --> 00:08:16,593 Excuse me, excuse me. 'scuse me. 197 00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:18,962 'scuse me. 'scuse me, 'scuse me. 198 00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:20,230 'scuse me, 'scuse me, 'scuse me. 199 00:08:20,265 --> 00:08:21,765 'scuse me, 'scuse me, 'scuse me. 200 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,602 What's up, boy? What's up, boo? 201 00:08:24,636 --> 00:08:27,337 - Yo, what you doin'? - I'm just noicin' your Noice! 202 00:08:27,372 --> 00:08:29,372 Well, don't. 203 00:08:29,407 --> 00:08:31,174 It's mostly about the dancers. 204 00:08:31,208 --> 00:08:32,175 Oh, yeah. 205 00:08:32,209 --> 00:08:33,676 Besides, you know, 206 00:08:33,711 --> 00:08:35,612 I'm kind of the guy that says, "Noice!" 207 00:08:35,646 --> 00:08:37,547 - Noice! - Wha--what happened? 208 00:08:37,581 --> 00:08:39,415 Nothing happened, I just noiced you 209 00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:40,950 because you stand up for yourself 210 00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:42,819 and your place in this dance circle. 211 00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:45,021 No, no. No "Noice," okay? 212 00:08:45,056 --> 00:08:47,023 "Noice" is my thing. 213 00:08:47,058 --> 00:08:51,394 No more "Noice" from you. 214 00:08:53,463 --> 00:08:55,097 'scuse me, 'scuse me, 'scuse me. 215 00:08:55,132 --> 00:08:58,901 'scuse me, 'scuse me. 216 00:08:58,935 --> 00:09:00,636 ♪ 217 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,637 Aw... 218 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:03,905 Aw, noice! 219 00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:06,909 (cheers and applause) 220 00:09:06,943 --> 00:09:10,891 ♪ 221 00:09:18,555 --> 00:09:21,891 Noice? 222 00:09:21,925 --> 00:09:24,893 Noice? 223 00:09:24,928 --> 00:09:26,796 ♪ 224 00:09:29,666 --> 00:09:32,636 (sweeping dramatic music) 225 00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:36,151 ♪ 226 00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:43,379 (exhales) 227 00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:46,248 'scuse me. Noice! 228 00:09:46,283 --> 00:09:48,117 (panicked) Noice! 229 00:09:48,151 --> 00:09:50,119 Noice! Noice! 230 00:09:50,153 --> 00:09:52,621 Noice! Noice! 231 00:09:58,395 --> 00:10:01,330 Noice! 232 00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:07,903 (lightning crashes) 233 00:10:07,937 --> 00:10:09,905 Noice. 234 00:10:09,939 --> 00:10:12,007 (dramatic music) 235 00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:15,010 Noice. 236 00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:16,345 ♪ 237 00:10:16,379 --> 00:10:19,448 Noice. 238 00:10:19,482 --> 00:10:21,516 You... 239 00:10:21,551 --> 00:10:24,519 Noice? 240 00:10:24,554 --> 00:10:26,521 ♪ 241 00:10:26,556 --> 00:10:29,524 (crying) Noice. 242 00:10:29,558 --> 00:10:33,427 ♪ 243 00:10:33,462 --> 00:10:35,396 (exhales) 244 00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,398 (sighs) 245 00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:40,367 ♪ 246 00:10:40,401 --> 00:10:42,369 Noice. 247 00:10:42,404 --> 00:10:44,971 ♪ 248 00:10:45,006 --> 00:10:47,974 Noice. 249 00:10:48,009 --> 00:10:51,678 ♪ 250 00:10:51,712 --> 00:10:54,481 Noice! 251 00:10:54,515 --> 00:10:56,216 (cries) Noice. 252 00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,219 - Noice. - Noice. 253 00:11:00,254 --> 00:11:03,289 Noice! 254 00:11:03,323 --> 00:11:05,591 (both crying) 255 00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:10,097 (both) Noooice! 256 00:11:10,131 --> 00:11:13,133 (both crying) 257 00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:14,768 Noice! 258 00:11:14,802 --> 00:11:15,903 Noice! 259 00:11:15,937 --> 00:11:19,387 ♪ 260 00:11:23,978 --> 00:11:26,646 This is the fight everybody's been waiting for, 261 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,882 But when I get Andre in the ring, man, 262 00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:31,952 It's gonna be cruel and quick, 263 00:11:31,986 --> 00:11:35,021 'cause it's gonna be, like, one-two, one-two, boom, 264 00:11:35,056 --> 00:11:36,123 and you out. 265 00:11:36,157 --> 00:11:38,324 Man, [bleep] you, Claudius Lewis. 266 00:11:38,359 --> 00:11:40,460 I'm gonna [bleep] you right in the ass. 267 00:11:40,494 --> 00:11:42,028 Yeah, I'm gonna bend you over 268 00:11:42,062 --> 00:11:43,930 and [bleep] you right in the ass[bleep]. 269 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,898 All right, you know what? 270 00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:47,567 Andre, he like to be-- 271 00:11:47,601 --> 00:11:49,468 try to get into his opponents' heads 272 00:11:49,503 --> 00:11:50,569 by saying crazy stuff. 273 00:11:50,603 --> 00:11:51,837 He ain't gonna Get into my head. 274 00:11:51,871 --> 00:11:53,005 He ain't gonna get into my head. 275 00:11:53,039 --> 00:11:54,106 No, I'm not gonna get in your head. 276 00:11:54,141 --> 00:11:55,241 I'm gonna get in your ass[bleep] 277 00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:57,210 just like I said, just right up in there 278 00:11:57,244 --> 00:11:59,646 in that tiny, little, minuscule ass[bleep] of yours. 279 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:00,947 This is what's gonna happen. 280 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,181 I'm gonna take you to a nice, 281 00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:04,717 high-fancy, highfalutin restaurant, 282 00:12:04,752 --> 00:12:06,919 and I'm gonna buy you things, wine and dine you. 283 00:12:06,954 --> 00:12:08,687 and we're gonna find some things that we have in common, 284 00:12:08,722 --> 00:12:10,823 and they're gonna become inside jokes to us. 285 00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:13,092 And then, we're just gonna laugh about them in the taxi 286 00:12:13,126 --> 00:12:14,493 all the way to your house, 287 00:12:14,528 --> 00:12:17,997 where I'm gonna [bleep] you in the ass. 288 00:12:18,031 --> 00:12:20,432 Oh, okay, now, ju-- 289 00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:23,336 just me p-personally, I've never-- 290 00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:25,538 You know, I ain't ever seen Andre 291 00:12:25,572 --> 00:12:28,308 take it that far before, 292 00:12:28,342 --> 00:12:30,810 but-- (chuckles) 293 00:12:30,845 --> 00:12:31,978 What--whatever. 294 00:12:32,013 --> 00:12:33,613 Yeah, whatever. I'll tell you whatever. 295 00:12:33,648 --> 00:12:35,215 Whatever, I'm gonna finally gonna feel comfortable 296 00:12:35,249 --> 00:12:36,749 taking you out to dinner parties. 297 00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:38,451 and then, all of our friends who are also couples, 298 00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:39,919 they're just gonna laugh at us 299 00:12:39,953 --> 00:12:42,321 'cause we're that couple that holds hands all the time. 300 00:12:42,355 --> 00:12:43,422 And let me tell you something, Claudius. 301 00:12:43,456 --> 00:12:45,491 We love each other so very much 302 00:12:45,525 --> 00:12:47,093 that no matter how tired I am, 303 00:12:47,127 --> 00:12:49,462 no matter how much bull[bleep] I've dealt with over the day, 304 00:12:49,496 --> 00:12:50,563 I'm just gonna leave it at the door 305 00:12:50,597 --> 00:12:51,964 when I [bleep] you in the ass. 306 00:12:51,999 --> 00:12:53,232 Okay, you know what, man? 307 00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,634 It's time for you to stop all that nonsense 308 00:12:55,669 --> 00:12:57,836 right now, all right? 309 00:12:57,871 --> 00:13:00,038 Did he just say he was gonna take me to dinner parties? 310 00:13:00,073 --> 00:13:02,908 He did say "dinner parties." 311 00:13:02,942 --> 00:13:05,043 We're gonna snuggle on the couch every night. 312 00:13:05,077 --> 00:13:06,411 I'm gonna let you pick the movie, 313 00:13:06,446 --> 00:13:08,346 even though you always pick the movie. 314 00:13:08,381 --> 00:13:10,715 Then I'm gonna take you out for a walk on the beach, 315 00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:13,218 and the moonlight's gonna bounce off of your scalp. 316 00:13:13,253 --> 00:13:15,388 And I'm just gonna kiss you so tenderly 317 00:13:15,422 --> 00:13:18,391 While the waves break, and then right there, right then, 318 00:13:18,425 --> 00:13:20,793 I'm gonna [bleep] you in the sandy ass[bleep]. 319 00:13:20,828 --> 00:13:22,595 All right, it's time for you to shut your fool mouth! 320 00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,464 - Is it? Is it time? - Yes, it is time. 321 00:13:24,498 --> 00:13:25,999 It's time for you to shut your mouth! 322 00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:27,000 We gonna spend the golden years together. 323 00:13:27,034 --> 00:13:28,001 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 324 00:13:28,035 --> 00:13:29,102 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 325 00:13:29,136 --> 00:13:30,336 I'm gonna support you all the way 326 00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:32,071 through your run through city council. 327 00:13:32,106 --> 00:13:33,439 Yeah, that's right, and you're gonna be tired, 328 00:13:33,474 --> 00:13:35,108 and exhausted, and overworked, 329 00:13:35,142 --> 00:13:36,409 But we're gonna still find the energy 330 00:13:36,444 --> 00:13:38,111 - to go antiquing on the weekends. - Oh, yeah? 331 00:13:38,145 --> 00:13:39,679 And then, you're gonna be on your deathbed, 332 00:13:39,714 --> 00:13:40,847 and you're gonna be sittin' there, 333 00:13:40,881 --> 00:13:41,948 and you're gonna be dyin'. 334 00:13:41,983 --> 00:13:42,983 And I'm gonna be right beside you, 335 00:13:43,017 --> 00:13:44,117 and I'm gonna be cryin'. 336 00:13:44,151 --> 00:13:46,553 And right at that moment when you cross over 337 00:13:46,587 --> 00:13:48,054 from this world into the next, 338 00:13:48,089 --> 00:13:50,523 I'm gonna [bleep] you in the ass[bleep]. 339 00:13:50,557 --> 00:13:52,325 Oh, man, I wish you'd try. 340 00:13:52,359 --> 00:13:53,526 - Oh, you do? - I wish that you would try. 341 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,728 Well, wish [bleep]ing granted. 342 00:13:55,762 --> 00:13:57,997 (laughter) 343 00:13:58,031 --> 00:14:01,267 No, I love the Village as much as the next guy, 344 00:14:01,301 --> 00:14:02,902 but I'm telling you, if we continue 345 00:14:02,936 --> 00:14:05,738 to self-segregate ourselves, The entire gay community's 346 00:14:05,772 --> 00:14:07,940 gonna continue to be "margarine-ized" 347 00:14:07,975 --> 00:14:09,775 I was just saying this to Claudius the other night 348 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,276 right after I [bleep] him in the ass. 349 00:14:11,311 --> 00:14:13,379 Yeah, he did, he did. 350 00:14:13,413 --> 00:14:16,415 Anyway, enough politics. Cheers, everyone. 351 00:14:19,712 --> 00:14:22,414 You know when people pour their--their 40s 352 00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:23,849 for the--the memories of their fallen homies? 353 00:14:23,883 --> 00:14:25,684 You pour--you pour it out for your homies a little bit? 354 00:14:25,719 --> 00:14:28,720 Mm-hmm? could you pick a more disreputable liquid? 355 00:14:28,755 --> 00:14:29,922 Yeah. 356 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,157 You can urinate on a grave 357 00:14:32,192 --> 00:14:35,227 and be doing a better justice to your fallen homey 358 00:14:35,262 --> 00:14:36,862 than some Olde English. 359 00:14:36,897 --> 00:14:38,431 Yeah, it seems like the kind of thing 360 00:14:38,465 --> 00:14:41,200 that people in ancient times would do to-- 361 00:14:41,235 --> 00:14:44,303 to a fallen enemy, not a--not a comrade. 362 00:14:44,337 --> 00:14:47,238 Let's get the-- the [bleep]iest ale. 363 00:14:47,273 --> 00:14:50,642 Oy, and--and take this [bleep] piss water... 364 00:14:50,676 --> 00:14:53,178 Ah, ah. 365 00:14:53,212 --> 00:14:55,080 and dump it all over these blasted Saxons. 366 00:14:55,114 --> 00:14:56,915 (both shout) 367 00:14:56,949 --> 00:14:58,350 Why do English people always squat? 368 00:14:58,384 --> 00:15:00,085 I don't know why they do it, but they do. 369 00:15:00,119 --> 00:15:01,786 - It's a fact, they squat. - They squat. 370 00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:04,823 Those sons of bitches squat. 371 00:15:06,192 --> 00:15:09,461 Hey, y'all, for real, though, 372 00:15:09,496 --> 00:15:10,963 - this right here... - Yeah. 373 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:14,400 This goes out to all our fallen homies, yo. 374 00:15:14,434 --> 00:15:16,268 - Come on. - Hey, yo, real talk. 375 00:15:16,303 --> 00:15:18,070 All right? 376 00:15:18,104 --> 00:15:23,576 (liquid splashing) 377 00:15:24,844 --> 00:15:27,814 I mean, 378 00:15:27,848 --> 00:15:30,349 it just seems like a waste. 379 00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:33,520 Right? 380 00:15:33,554 --> 00:15:36,457 Does that make me a [bleep]? 381 00:15:36,491 --> 00:15:38,025 Okay, I'm a [bleep]. Okay, I'm a [bleep]. 382 00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:39,694 I'm sorry. I'm a big ol' [bleep]. 383 00:15:39,728 --> 00:15:42,196 - Let's go. - I'm s--okay, here-- 384 00:15:42,230 --> 00:15:44,999 For our homies. 385 00:15:51,708 --> 00:15:53,876 - Come on, man. - Pour out your damn beer! 386 00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:56,912 Okay, okay, fine, fine. 387 00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,651 Glug, glug, glug. Glug, glug, glug-- 388 00:16:02,686 --> 00:16:04,253 No, come on, man. 389 00:16:04,287 --> 00:16:06,488 Hey, man, you got your thumb in there, man. 390 00:16:06,522 --> 00:16:08,790 You need to respect our homies. 391 00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:11,326 Jeez, okay. Okay, okay. 392 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,061 For the homies. 393 00:16:13,096 --> 00:16:15,164 - Wha-- - [bleep], a trash beer? 394 00:16:15,198 --> 00:16:18,434 What? come on-- Hey, beer is beer! 395 00:16:18,469 --> 00:16:20,903 The--Jeez, I cannot win On this. 396 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,572 - What? - Fine. 397 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,875 I'm not on board with this, but I'll do it. 398 00:16:25,909 --> 00:16:29,678 (liquid splashing) 399 00:16:29,713 --> 00:16:31,079 Hey, man, what you doin'? 400 00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:33,649 Oh--oh, really? What, that--that don't count? 401 00:16:33,683 --> 00:16:35,618 Aw, hey, put that-- That's not for-- 402 00:16:35,652 --> 00:16:36,986 Aw, man. 403 00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:38,187 (sighs) 404 00:16:38,221 --> 00:16:39,755 It's more of a symbol than a gesture. 405 00:16:39,789 --> 00:16:41,657 Somebody back me up on that. Right? 406 00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:44,027 Hey, man, that's disrespectful right there. 407 00:16:44,061 --> 00:16:45,795 - You just do it. - Fine. 408 00:16:45,829 --> 00:16:47,330 Fine! I'll pour it out! 409 00:16:47,364 --> 00:16:50,366 I'll waste the damn beer then! 410 00:16:56,173 --> 00:16:58,408 (groans) 411 00:16:58,442 --> 00:17:00,777 You know, i-I'm j-- I'm just not a waster. 412 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:04,014 You know, I save everything. Man, Jamal knows. 413 00:17:04,048 --> 00:17:06,316 If he eat a piece of pizza and don't eat the crust, 414 00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:07,417 I eat the crust. 415 00:17:07,451 --> 00:17:09,686 If we do a drive-by shooting, 416 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,254 I will go back for the shell cases. 417 00:17:11,288 --> 00:17:13,222 Not to hide the evidence, 418 00:17:13,257 --> 00:17:15,992 but because you can recycle those. 419 00:17:16,026 --> 00:17:18,928 They have value, man, just like this beer. 420 00:17:18,962 --> 00:17:21,030 I can't waste nothin', y'all. 421 00:17:21,064 --> 00:17:24,700 It's physically impossible for me to waste this. 422 00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:27,536 I can't do it. 423 00:17:27,570 --> 00:17:31,574 Jamal, can you pour it out for me? 424 00:17:34,979 --> 00:17:37,747 Oh, man. Come on, man. 425 00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:38,748 I mean, it's not gonna bring 'em back. 426 00:17:38,782 --> 00:17:39,916 Stupid. 427 00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:41,951 It's not gonna bring 'em back. 428 00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,367 (groans) All right, partner. 429 00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:53,535 Take this scumbag downtown 430 00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:56,404 before the Mexicans find him and blow his ass away. 431 00:17:56,439 --> 00:17:59,407 We're gonna keep you alive, Chico. 432 00:17:59,442 --> 00:18:00,409 ÿComprende? 433 00:18:00,443 --> 00:18:03,444 (laughs) 434 00:18:07,048 --> 00:18:10,017 (dramatic music) 435 00:18:10,051 --> 00:18:13,609 ♪ 436 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:21,074 Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM 437 00:18:58,201 --> 00:19:01,737 (sustained) No! 438 00:19:01,771 --> 00:19:05,468 ♪ 439 00:19:58,596 --> 00:20:01,198 (crying) 440 00:20:01,232 --> 00:20:04,992 No! 441 00:20:06,195 --> 00:20:08,105 (bird squawks) 442 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:11,141 (explosion, bird crows) 443 00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:14,545 What? Is that a bird? 444 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,314 Hey! Hey. 445 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,950 Do you know what happened? 446 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,252 No. 447 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,444 Oh! 448 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,026 Oh, I get it. 449 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,528 When I say "No," stuff blows up. 450 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,951 (explosion, glass shatters) 451 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,402 Cool. 452 00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,338 What'd you think about that show, man? 453 00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:42,440 What'd I think about that show that just happened right there? 454 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,242 - That happened right there. - Man, that jam was noice! 455 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,211 Come on. 456 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:49,048 Good night, everybody. 457 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,350 - It was noice! - Noice! 458 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:52,351 - Noice! - Noice! 459 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:53,519 Noice! 460 00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:56,521 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 461 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,557 Oh, yeah. 461 00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:05,919 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org