1
00:00:05,361 --> 00:00:07,161
_

2
00:00:07,749 --> 00:00:10,084
- Where's Tyler?
- Oh, he's picking up his girlfriend.

3
00:00:10,086 --> 00:00:12,320
I can't believe I'm saying that.

4
00:00:12,322 --> 00:00:14,088
I can't wait to meet her.

5
00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:16,257
Do you remember when he used to
say that he wanted to marry me?

6
00:00:16,259 --> 00:00:17,675
- No.
- Well, I do.

7
00:00:17,795 --> 00:00:19,532
We were gonna take our honeymoon at Epcot.

8
00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,328
There's something

9
00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:23,297
so sweet about

10
00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:25,399
your first little girlfriend.

11
00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:27,701
- She's not that little.
- Oh, big one, huh?

12
00:00:27,703 --> 00:00:30,237
Well, any port in a storm.

13
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,439
All right, guys, take it easy on him.

14
00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:33,841
I'm sure the kid is nervous.

15
00:00:33,843 --> 00:00:35,776
So everybody just be
cool, give him his space,

16
00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:37,011
you know, when he walks in here

17
00:00:37,013 --> 00:00:38,212
with a full-grown woman.

18
00:00:38,214 --> 00:00:40,547
Hi, everyone, this is Clementine.

19
00:00:40,549 --> 00:00:42,283
Hi.

20
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,319
Wow, wow.

21
00:00:45,321 --> 00:00:47,488
Wow. Wo... Look at...

22
00:00:47,490 --> 00:00:49,289
all of you. Just...

23
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:50,824
Hi.

24
00:00:50,826 --> 00:00:53,127
So nice to finally meet you all.

25
00:00:53,129 --> 00:00:54,428
And you as well.

26
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,629
That was loud.

27
00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:58,899
We always enjoy welcoming a new person

28
00:00:58,901 --> 00:01:02,569
- into our familial enclave.
- Thank you.

29
00:01:02,571 --> 00:01:05,772
So, you two are fellow styoo-dents?

30
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:06,974
Why are you talking like that?

31
00:01:06,976 --> 00:01:09,109
Don't interrupt your father, son.

32
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:11,478
You know, here, in the Clan Hughes,

33
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,914
we have a long history in our family...

34
00:01:13,916 --> 00:01:15,716
I'm trying to find... What's the exact word

35
00:01:15,718 --> 00:01:17,918
to articulate the-the sense, the real...

36
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,387
I-I-I... need to see you in
the kitchen for one second.

37
00:01:20,389 --> 00:01:22,356
Ah, a brief recess
while I retrieve my pipe.

38
00:01:22,358 --> 00:01:23,890
Be right...

39
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:26,860
I thought she was supposed to be fat.

40
00:01:26,862 --> 00:01:28,528
Parts of her are.

41
00:01:28,530 --> 00:01:30,697
- What is coming out of your mouth?
- Did I say boobs?

42
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:32,966
No, but you're talking like
you're Little Lord Fauntleroy.

43
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,935
I freaked out. I don't know,
I don't know what to say.

44
00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:37,370
I was, I was expecting some
mousy little chest club girl.

45
00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:40,273
- What's chest club?
- I don't know, but she's the president of it.

46
00:01:40,275 --> 00:01:41,775
Look, I was just trying to sound impressive

47
00:01:41,777 --> 00:01:43,243
so she thinks she's joining a good family.

48
00:01:43,245 --> 00:01:45,612
Hey, hey, hey... we
are a good family.

49
00:01:45,614 --> 00:01:47,847
It is her job to impress us.

50
00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:49,416
Mission accomplished.

51
00:01:49,418 --> 00:01:51,484
Well, listen, I got to go put
some pepper on the "potatas"�.

52
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,319
- Potatoes.
- I... It's contagious.

53
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,021
- All right.
- Just be normal.

54
00:01:55,023 --> 00:01:56,289
I don't know... Well, I'm in my head now.

55
00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:57,357
I'm just gonna avoid her.

56
00:01:57,359 --> 00:01:58,992
- Good plan.
- Yeah.

57
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,765
- Yeah, I'm not standing next to that.
- What?

58
00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:08,067
Oh, wow.

59
00:02:08,069 --> 00:02:11,337
She is...

60
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,340
not as pretty as you are.

61
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,876
Nope, not by a mile.

62
00:02:16,878 --> 00:02:18,211
You really stuck the landing there.

63
00:02:18,213 --> 00:02:19,946
Thanks.

64
00:02:19,948 --> 00:02:22,382
So, nobody's saying anything.
Do you guys not like her?

65
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,818
She's really cool. She
gets Radiohead on, like,

66
00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:28,287
a deep level. We're both really
into molecular gastronomy,

67
00:02:28,289 --> 00:02:30,323
you know, even though
neither of us have tried it.

68
00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:31,858
But it's like we're totally connected

69
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,226
even though she's older, you know?

70
00:02:33,228 --> 00:02:34,160
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

71
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,632
- How old?
- 18.

72
00:02:35,964 --> 00:02:38,164
Come here. Dude, that is,
like, a number ten body. 18?

73
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:41,867
- Proud of you, man.
- I knew it. You champion.

74
00:02:43,203 --> 00:02:45,638
- I'm sorry.
- Um, so, uh,

75
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,540
Tyler tells me that you're a doctor?

76
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,177
He shouldn't... I'm-I'm a ear,
nose and throat doctor, yes.

77
00:02:51,179 --> 00:02:53,579
Yes. Sometimes I-I do...
I like to say "troat"�,

78
00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:56,015
though, like a 1930s bad guy.

79
00:02:56,017 --> 00:02:57,883
Let me see you troat, see?

80
00:02:57,885 --> 00:02:59,085
I do a lot of characters.

81
00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:00,753
Well, uh, what's your
favorite kind of doctor?

82
00:03:00,755 --> 00:03:02,955
- Regular?
- Regular doctor. Very good.

83
00:03:02,957 --> 00:03:04,757
Good, regular doctor. Nurse, get in here!

84
00:03:04,759 --> 00:03:06,992
That's a regular doctor. I
also do female characters.

85
00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:08,794
I think I know who did it.

86
00:03:08,796 --> 00:03:10,129
It's Angela Lansbury from

87
00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:11,931
Murder, She Wrote.
That was a very dangerous town.

88
00:03:11,933 --> 00:03:13,918
She was super hot when she was young, too.

89
00:03:14,038 --> 00:03:16,590
Not that you're hot. I wasn't saying
that. I wasn't looking at that.

90
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,103
-  'Cause I took an oath.
- All right, let's go.

91
00:03:18,105 --> 00:03:20,372
- Oh, I made a mess of that.
- Oh, yeah, you did.

92
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,207
Hi, I'm Greg.

93
00:03:22,209 --> 00:03:24,777
- Nope.
- Wow, that was quick.

94
00:03:25,979 --> 00:03:27,713
Where's his starter girlfriend?

95
00:03:27,715 --> 00:03:29,748
You know? The freckly-faced nerd that he's

96
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:31,917
supposed to hold hands
with and make mix tapes for?

97
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,387
Oh, no, he went straight to
the "I sold an app"� girlfriend.

98
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:38,023
It's hard, it's hard.

99
00:03:38,025 --> 00:03:40,092
You were only four years older than Tyler

100
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,627
when you got pregnant.

101
00:03:41,629 --> 00:03:43,095
I'm not ready for this.

102
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,931
You never will be. So you do what I did.

103
00:03:45,933 --> 00:03:47,933
You let the first two go

104
00:03:47,935 --> 00:03:51,236
and you baby the third one until you die.

105
00:03:51,238 --> 00:03:54,139
Here, honey. I pulled
out all the celery pieces.

106
00:03:54,141 --> 00:03:56,408
- Oh. Thanks, Mom.
- You're welcome.

107
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,110
Oh, the fork.

108
00:03:59,846 --> 00:04:01,646
Do us all a favor...

109
00:04:01,648 --> 00:04:03,281
and don't do that.

110
00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:04,749
I shan't.

111
00:04:04,751 --> 00:04:06,418
- Dad, what did you do?
- Hmm?

112
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,919
Clementine said you were being weird.

113
00:04:07,921 --> 00:04:09,354
What?! No.

114
00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:12,023
All right, listen.

115
00:04:12,025 --> 00:04:13,892
This'll probably come as
a bit of a surprise to you,

116
00:04:13,894 --> 00:04:16,761
but your old man wasn't always
the smoothest with girls.

117
00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:19,064
I was just trying to be
nice without being creepy.

118
00:04:22,935 --> 00:04:24,736
Did you just wink at her?

119
00:04:24,738 --> 00:04:26,371
I did. I've never winked
at anybody in my life.

120
00:04:26,373 --> 00:04:28,106
I don't know what's going on
here. I'm not ready for this.

121
00:04:28,108 --> 00:04:29,541
Take some money. Go.

122
00:04:31,578 --> 00:04:33,812
Okay, everybody. Thank
you so much for helping

123
00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,947
warm up our new house.

124
00:04:35,949 --> 00:04:38,083
We can't wait to make many memories here

125
00:04:38,085 --> 00:04:39,851
with our family and-and our new people.

126
00:04:39,853 --> 00:04:41,219
Clementine.

127
00:04:41,221 --> 00:04:42,887
- So...
- Hear, hear!

128
00:04:42,889 --> 00:04:44,055
- I should go.
- Yeah.

129
00:04:44,057 --> 00:04:45,623
We're just, um...

130
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:48,259
You know, this is-is new for us.

131
00:04:48,261 --> 00:04:51,411
I mean, we-we can't believe
that our little boy is dating.

132
00:04:51,531 --> 00:04:52,137
Mom.

133
00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:54,014
You remember when you
used to want to marry me?

134
00:04:54,134 --> 00:04:57,468
- Mom.
- Those were... Sorry... good times.

135
00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:59,604
Um, okay, so...

136
00:04:59,606 --> 00:05:01,806
to boobs.

137
00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:05,376
Oh, my God.

138
00:05:07,146 --> 00:05:08,646
Did I just say "boobs"�?

139
00:05:08,648 --> 00:05:09,881
Oh, yeah, yeah, you did.

140
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,149
I'm so sorry.

141
00:05:11,151 --> 00:05:12,550
I mean, I'm not sorry that you have them.

142
00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:13,551
I'm sorry, uh...

143
00:05:13,553 --> 00:05:15,319
What a lovely toast.

144
00:05:16,221 --> 00:05:17,756
Cheers, honey.

145
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,380
_

146
00:05:22,928 --> 00:05:24,395
You should take the stairs.

147
00:05:24,397 --> 00:05:27,165
- Oh, no, I've been working out on Tim's Bowflex.
- No.

148
00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:29,400
So nobody sees us walking
into the office together.

149
00:05:29,402 --> 00:05:30,935
It's like 15 flights. Why can't I just

150
00:05:30,937 --> 00:05:32,169
wait for the next elevator?

151
00:05:32,171 --> 00:05:34,604
- No. There's a ban on interoffice dating.
- Right.

152
00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:36,240
That's why there's no
restrictions on porn sites.

153
00:05:36,242 --> 00:05:38,276
- There's not?
- Nope, not even the animal stuff.

154
00:05:38,278 --> 00:05:39,844
- Really?
- Doris has a fetish.

155
00:05:39,846 --> 00:05:42,246
 That's not surprising.
- You can't date a coworker, though.

156
00:05:42,248 --> 00:05:43,199
- Well, that's ridiculous.
- I know.

157
00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:45,516
I mean, who are these people
to stand in the way of love?

158
00:05:45,518 --> 00:05:47,518
- Love?
- Like.

159
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,919
That's not what you said.

160
00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:51,288
- You don't have that on tape.
- You sure about that?

161
00:05:52,324 --> 00:05:54,024
- Damn it.
- See?

162
00:05:54,026 --> 00:05:55,159
- We have to be careful.
- Fine.

163
00:05:55,161 --> 00:05:57,695
Okay. Stairs.

164
00:06:03,535 --> 00:06:05,135
I got it.

165
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:07,738
And this, my man, is
how you beat the system.

166
00:06:08,573 --> 00:06:09,974
Aha!

167
00:06:10,775 --> 00:06:13,077
Aw, snoozytime tea.

168
00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:14,278
Ow!

169
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,779
Hey, uh, you mind if I get
a second press off that?

170
00:06:15,781 --> 00:06:17,247
Still good, right?

171
00:06:17,249 --> 00:06:18,749
- It's all yours, man.
- All right.

172
00:06:18,751 --> 00:06:23,554
My man.

173
00:06:23,556 --> 00:06:25,956
Damn. Forget the coffee.

174
00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:27,758
- I want to grind my beans on that.
- Okay.

175
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,226
- Well, I'll see you later.
- Hey,

176
00:06:29,228 --> 00:06:31,295
what is your deal lately, Matt?

177
00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:33,163
Did HR talk to you, too?

178
00:06:33,165 --> 00:06:35,499
Oh, no, no, I'm just not into her.

179
00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:37,968
- You're not?
- No.

180
00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:40,137
Then, who's your fantasy office bang?

181
00:06:40,139 --> 00:06:42,205
It's, uh...

182
00:06:42,207 --> 00:06:43,707
Doris.

183
00:06:43,709 --> 00:06:45,575
Doris?

184
00:06:45,577 --> 00:06:47,244
Rock your world, man.

185
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,715
Huh.

186
00:06:51,717 --> 00:06:53,016
So what are you getting for lunch?

187
00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:54,718
I don't know. Something nasty.

188
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,587
Time cards.

189
00:06:57,589 --> 00:06:59,856
Whoa.

190
00:07:00,791 --> 00:07:02,559
Is there something
going on between you two?

191
00:07:02,561 --> 00:07:03,793
- What?
- What?

192
00:07:03,795 --> 00:07:05,095
Because I feel like there's

193
00:07:05,097 --> 00:07:07,764
romance tension rising up in here,

194
00:07:07,766 --> 00:07:10,467
and if you're dating, that's trouble.

195
00:07:10,469 --> 00:07:11,835
- Oh, no. No, no, no.
- Oh, my God, no.

196
00:07:11,837 --> 00:07:13,637
- That's not... no, not it at all.
- That's absurd.

197
00:07:13,639 --> 00:07:14,871
- No, no, wouldn't be possible. No way, no.
- That's like not even...

198
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:16,206
- It's, like, totally against the rules.
- No.

199
00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:17,941
- We're not.
- Gross. He's a nobody.

200
00:07:17,943 --> 00:07:19,542
Yeah, you don't think I
could do better than this?

201
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:24,981
Please, please, please.

202
00:07:25,950 --> 00:07:27,984
Come here. Please come here.

203
00:07:27,986 --> 00:07:30,253
Uh...

204
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:32,355
Is this the forbidden executive lounge?

205
00:07:32,357 --> 00:07:33,857
Yeah, don't change the subject.

206
00:07:33,859 --> 00:07:35,491
You could do better than this?

207
00:07:35,493 --> 00:07:36,759
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

208
00:07:36,761 --> 00:07:38,561
You said that I was a nobody.

209
00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:40,263
- I was acting.
- Yeah, so was I.

210
00:07:40,265 --> 00:07:42,231
You're always telling me that you want
to role-play, so I was role-playing.

211
00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:43,833
Yeah, role-playing, like
period piece role-playing.

212
00:07:43,835 --> 00:07:45,268
Like, wenches and innkeepers.

213
00:07:45,270 --> 00:07:46,536
I'm freaking out.

214
00:07:46,538 --> 00:07:47,770
Okay, no, no, no, no, no. It's okay.

215
00:07:47,772 --> 00:07:49,505
We can't let anyone know about any of this.

216
00:07:49,507 --> 00:07:50,673
Okay, okay, okay.

217
00:07:50,675 --> 00:07:52,008
- You're right.
- Okay?

218
00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:54,110
And-and, you know,

219
00:07:54,112 --> 00:07:56,813
- for the record...
- Mm-hmm.

220
00:07:56,815 --> 00:07:58,748
I-I don't think that I
can do better than you.

221
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,683
Oh, my God. Thank you.

222
00:08:00,685 --> 00:08:02,218
Yeah.

223
00:08:04,956 --> 00:08:07,456
Oh!

224
00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:08,858
- Excuse me.
- Mm, sorry.

225
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,726
So, I, um...

226
00:08:10,728 --> 00:08:12,662
will get back to you about that

227
00:08:12,664 --> 00:08:14,430
- Mm-hmm.
- in just a...

228
00:08:14,432 --> 00:08:17,199
- minute.
- Mm-hmm.

229
00:08:21,339 --> 00:08:23,205
You guys are.

230
00:08:24,374 --> 00:08:27,276
Breaking all the rules.
Breaking all the rules.

231
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,314
Knock, knock. Are you busy?

232
00:08:32,316 --> 00:08:33,849
Uh, hello.

233
00:08:33,851 --> 00:08:36,352
- Hey.
- Just...

234
00:08:36,354 --> 00:08:37,553
have a seat.

235
00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:40,089
- So, uh, Matt and I talked,
- Mm-hmm.

236
00:08:40,091 --> 00:08:43,445
- And it's all g-g-g-g-g-g-good.
- Okay.

237
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,893
You know, I'm going to
keep it on the D-low.

238
00:08:44,895 --> 00:08:47,296
- Mm-hmm.
 - The down low. The down diggity low.

239
00:08:47,298 --> 00:08:49,098
- Okay, I got it. Yeah.
- How low can you go?

240
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,299
Got it. Thanks.

241
00:08:50,301 --> 00:08:52,501
- XXL. Extra, extra low.
- Thanks. Yeah. I got it.

242
00:08:52,503 --> 00:08:54,470
Oh, I, uh, have those numbers

243
00:08:54,472 --> 00:08:56,405
that you were asking Matt about.

244
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,309
Anyway, I got to split.

245
00:09:00,311 --> 00:09:04,046
But, um, I like you two as a couple.

246
00:09:04,048 --> 00:09:06,615
There's something real sexy about it.

247
00:09:06,617 --> 00:09:08,717
Covertly sexy.

248
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,356
- I can't keep this up.
- What?

249
00:09:14,358 --> 00:09:16,058
Everything feels so gross now,

250
00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:17,626
like we've negotiated with a terrorist

251
00:09:17,628 --> 00:09:20,028
which seemed fine until
the terrorist asked me

252
00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:22,397
if you had dumped your
files on my work chest.

253
00:09:22,399 --> 00:09:23,999
Okay, look, the guy is an
idiot. We can ignore him.

254
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:25,300
- I don't know.
- Right?

255
00:09:25,302 --> 00:09:28,170
Ah, if it isn't Romeo and Juliet.

256
00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:29,404
Hey, I was just thinking.

257
00:09:29,406 --> 00:09:30,872
I'm sitting on a gold mine here.

258
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,675
So, I want your parking space

259
00:09:33,677 --> 00:09:35,143
and... I want,

260
00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:37,245
I don't know, your tie.

261
00:09:37,247 --> 00:09:39,214
I mean, I don't even like it,
but I'll do something with it.

262
00:09:39,216 --> 00:09:40,949
I'll wrap it around my head
like the Karate Kid, or whatever.

263
00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:42,951
And if you do that,
we'll keep it on the XXL.

264
00:09:42,953 --> 00:09:44,619
The extra, extra low.

265
00:09:44,621 --> 00:09:45,954
Ya follow?

266
00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:48,156
We're so screwed.

267
00:09:48,158 --> 00:09:49,824
No...

268
00:09:49,826 --> 00:09:51,559
Ten years of kissing ass at this place

269
00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:54,763
and I have to go fall
in like with a coworker.

270
00:09:56,966 --> 00:09:59,968
An ex-coworker.

271
00:10:00,736 --> 00:10:02,937
Excuse me.

272
00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:06,007
Um, excuse me, everyone.

273
00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:09,010
I quit.

274
00:10:10,813 --> 00:10:12,347
So there's that.

275
00:10:12,349 --> 00:10:13,548
What are you doing?

276
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,487
I will see you Saturday.

277
00:10:19,489 --> 00:10:20,855
Okay.

278
00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,227
I like this.

279
00:10:30,632 --> 00:10:32,333
If I can't have a cell phone,

280
00:10:32,335 --> 00:10:34,035
you guys should at least put down yours

281
00:10:34,037 --> 00:10:35,636
so we can eat like a family.

282
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,260
_

283
00:10:48,026 --> 00:10:49,126
I want a phone.

284
00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:50,754
You can't have a phone until
you're 12. You know that.

285
00:10:50,756 --> 00:10:53,390
Why 12? That's so arbitrary.

286
00:10:53,392 --> 00:10:55,192
'Cause that's when you're old
enough to be responsible for it.

287
00:10:55,194 --> 00:10:58,528
You guys lose your phone every
time you go to wine tastings.

288
00:10:59,498 --> 00:11:01,498
For real?

289
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:04,835
It's just a lady trapped in a lawn chair.

290
00:11:04,837 --> 00:11:05,902
Forward me that.

291
00:11:07,272 --> 00:11:08,638
if I can't have a cell phone,

292
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,373
you guys should at least put down yours

293
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:12,175
so we can eat like a family.

294
00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:14,144
Yeah, that's a great idea.

295
00:11:14,146 --> 00:11:15,679
Yes...

296
00:11:15,681 --> 00:11:17,514
we should do...

297
00:11:20,117 --> 00:11:22,319
Yeah.

298
00:11:23,722 --> 00:11:26,590
She can't get out of there.

299
00:11:27,726 --> 00:11:29,759
Give it.

300
00:11:30,359 --> 00:11:32,793
So they want you to be 12, huh?

301
00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:35,763
Seems like a long time to wait.

302
00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:38,866
And the worst part is, it
won't be magical when I'm 12.

303
00:11:38,868 --> 00:11:41,335
It'll just be another thing to shrug at.

304
00:11:41,337 --> 00:11:44,438
'Cause the little girl
inside me will be dead.

305
00:11:45,507 --> 00:11:47,341
She's gonna die?

306
00:11:47,343 --> 00:11:50,444
She's already dying.

307
00:11:55,317 --> 00:11:57,084
Get in the car.

308
00:11:57,086 --> 00:11:59,186
I cannot believe this is happening.

309
00:11:59,188 --> 00:12:01,855
I'm going to be able to
text you now, Pop-Pop.

310
00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:04,565
Don't you dare ever grow up.

311
00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,133
I won't have to, now.

312
00:12:06,135 --> 00:12:08,469
I'll be happy forever.

313
00:12:08,471 --> 00:12:10,571
Pop-Pop's little honey bunny.

314
00:12:10,573 --> 00:12:12,306
- Boop, boop.
- Ha.

315
00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:16,443
Who's texting you so late?

316
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,279
Huh? Oh, I think it's more fun
if we have our little secrets,

317
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:20,647
don't you?

318
00:12:20,649 --> 00:12:23,283
Oh, you're right.

319
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,687
I shouldn't ask if I don't want to tell.

320
00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,322
Tell what?

321
00:12:28,324 --> 00:12:30,157
Joanie?

322
00:12:34,263 --> 00:12:36,396
How do you type a firework?

323
00:12:36,398 --> 00:12:38,765
Oh, hey there, little Ms. Pocketbook.

324
00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:40,734
Such a lady.

325
00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:42,469
Yup.

326
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,204
Excuse me. Ripped one.

327
00:12:45,741 --> 00:12:48,175
That's what happens when
you make me eat vegetables.

328
00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:50,077
Little crop duster.

329
00:12:50,079 --> 00:12:52,479
Okay, I'm calling you right now.

330
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,114
Ha! Look at that.

331
00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:55,582
Your sweet little face pops up.

332
00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:56,850
It'll do it every time I call.

333
00:12:56,852 --> 00:12:58,051
Isn't that so cool?

334
00:12:58,053 --> 00:12:59,219
Ooh, I love that.

335
00:12:59,221 --> 00:13:01,488
All right, who's up for some ice cream?

336
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,423
I'm going to go call you from my backyard.

337
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,393
But ice cream?

338
00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:08,628
I just love the Price Club.

339
00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:10,997
I mean, they got everything there.

340
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,099
- They even had a book signing last week.
- Oh...

341
00:13:13,101 --> 00:13:16,353
- The Diary of a Wimpy Kid guy.
- That's so cute.

342
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:18,819
- You read those...
- Oh, my gosh...

343
00:13:18,939 --> 00:13:21,763
- uh, those Wimpy Kid books?
-  I have to forward that.

344
00:13:23,994 --> 00:13:25,345
Sophia?

345
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:30,517
Uh-oh.

346
00:13:44,799 --> 00:13:47,033
I-Is something bothering you, sweetheart?

347
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,168
I think I really screwed up, Joanie.

348
00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:52,371
I'm too embarrassed to even tell you.

349
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,174
Well, use the hypothetical, if that helps.

350
00:13:55,176 --> 00:13:56,909
Oh, yeah.

351
00:13:56,911 --> 00:13:59,212
A friend of mine...

352
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,547
went and bought his
granddaughter a cell phone.

353
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,382
You dumb son of a bitch!

354
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,117
I said it was a friend of mine.

355
00:14:05,119 --> 00:14:07,420
You have to tell Heather. You have to.

356
00:14:07,422 --> 00:14:09,689
- She has rules about these things.
- I didn't fly

357
00:14:09,691 --> 00:14:12,725
in two wars to have my
daughter tell me what to do.

358
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,360
Now, you tell her for me.

359
00:14:14,362 --> 00:14:17,930
Uh, she gets really scary when she's mad.

360
00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:20,566
Oh, please. Honey,

361
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:24,270
it just is so dumb.

362
00:14:24,272 --> 00:14:25,404
I'm sorry.

363
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,173
I just love seeing her happy,

364
00:14:27,175 --> 00:14:30,009
and I-I made a mistake.

365
00:14:30,011 --> 00:14:31,110
So just

366
00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:32,711
take it easy on her, you know,

367
00:14:32,713 --> 00:14:35,080
like, give her a toy or a cookie.

368
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,550
Ice cream. Bring her some ice cream

369
00:14:37,552 --> 00:14:40,019
and then tell her.

370
00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:42,821
Oh. Oh, you-you think
that I'm gonna tell her.

371
00:14:42,823 --> 00:14:43,989
What?

372
00:14:43,991 --> 00:14:44,990
Oh, no.

373
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,358
You bought her the cell phone,

374
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,760
so you can take it away.

375
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,128
Have fun with that.

376
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:51,063
Maybe you get her some ice cream,

377
00:14:51,065 --> 00:14:52,898
a really nice toy.

378
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,533
Should be a good time.

379
00:14:54,535 --> 00:14:55,901
Oh, no. Please.

380
00:14:55,903 --> 00:14:57,503
No, she's so scary when she's mad.

381
00:14:57,505 --> 00:15:01,573
Heather. Heather?

382
00:15:01,575 --> 00:15:04,142
Anyway, it seems that Pop-Pops

383
00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:06,912
make mistakes, too, I guess.

384
00:15:06,914 --> 00:15:08,780
I'm so sorry, angel.

385
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,983
I thought you were different.

386
00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:12,331
- Soph...
- It's okay.

387
00:15:12,451 --> 00:15:14,698
I guess you have to be sad sometimes

388
00:15:14,946 --> 00:15:16,611
to know what happy feels like.

389
00:15:17,423 --> 00:15:18,623
I got an idea.

390
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:19,925
Um...

391
00:15:19,927 --> 00:15:22,060
you want to get your ears pierced?

392
00:15:22,062 --> 00:15:22,861
Really?!

393
00:15:24,531 --> 00:15:25,730
Can we go right now?

394
00:15:25,732 --> 00:15:27,766
Um... Mmm.

395
00:15:27,768 --> 00:15:30,202
Now?

396
00:15:38,499 --> 00:15:40,399
_

397
00:15:40,666 --> 00:15:42,967
Nope. Higher, higher, higher.

398
00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:44,996
- The light fixture. The light fixture.
- Ah, got him. Got him.

399
00:15:45,243 --> 00:15:45,945
He's playing with you.

400
00:15:46,065 --> 00:15:47,005
- He's playing with your mind.
- I know.

401
00:15:47,307 --> 00:15:49,107
Oh. Ooh.

402
00:15:49,109 --> 00:15:51,075
Messing with you. He thinks he's bad.

403
00:15:51,077 --> 00:15:52,810
He thinks he's bad to the bone. Here we go.

404
00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:55,313
- Superfly, I got you. I got you. I got...
- Okay.

405
00:15:55,315 --> 00:15:58,516
Oh, God.

406
00:15:58,518 --> 00:16:00,618
What do we do?

407
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:03,955
Um... You know what?

408
00:16:03,957 --> 00:16:06,958
You know what? No, I-I refuse to be

409
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,126
one of those

410
00:16:08,128 --> 00:16:10,228
germophobic, new,

411
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,163
high-strung parents. Like,

412
00:16:12,165 --> 00:16:13,765
why? For why?

413
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,134
- Okay. I don't want to do it.
- You know?

414
00:16:16,136 --> 00:16:17,969
- So lame. No.
- Who wants to be that guy?

415
00:16:17,971 --> 00:16:20,104
- Not me. Cool parents.
- No. You know?

416
00:16:20,106 --> 00:16:21,906
We're cool. We're not those people.

417
00:16:21,908 --> 00:16:24,008
- We're not.
- Let's leave this to the crazy parents.

418
00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:25,877
- Yes.
- Crazy parents can disinfect that

419
00:16:25,879 --> 00:16:27,778
in some, you know, organic soap,

420
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:29,614
chant a prayer over it, you know, boil it.

421
00:16:29,616 --> 00:16:31,449
- Me, I'm not giving it one more thought.
- Great.

422
00:16:31,451 --> 00:16:35,319
- Great. Done. Fabulous.
- Great. Right? Out of sight, out of mind.

423
00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:37,255
Be right back.

424
00:16:37,451 --> 00:16:38,884
Not thinking about it. I'm
still not thinking about it.

425
00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:40,552
That's how much I don't care.

426
00:16:40,554 --> 00:16:42,521
I've never even thought about it since.

427
00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:57,402
What? What is it?

428
00:16:57,404 --> 00:17:00,338
That skunk is back. He almost got me again.

429
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:02,107
The skunk is back?

430
00:17:05,244 --> 00:17:05,777
We looked each other

431
00:17:05,779 --> 00:17:08,279
right in the eye, and then
he turned his ass on me.

432
00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:10,882
- He let you look at his other eye.
- Yeah. Winked at me.

433
00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:14,786
- He cock the trigger?
- Locked and loaded.

434
00:17:14,788 --> 00:17:16,821
Yeah, so it's-it's pretty
much just been running around

435
00:17:16,823 --> 00:17:18,356
the front yard every night.

436
00:17:18,358 --> 00:17:21,226
Oh, yeah. They's creatures of habit.

437
00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:25,496
Once he got hisself a routine,
he hardly break from it.

438
00:17:25,498 --> 00:17:27,131
But don't you worry... we'll catch him.

439
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,132
And, uh, what kind of bait

440
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,267
is...

441
00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:31,402
- the, uh... is that?
- That's

442
00:17:31,404 --> 00:17:32,570
Elegant Kitty cat food.

443
00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:34,272
- Uh, oh.
- It's the good stuff.

444
00:17:34,274 --> 00:17:36,174
This is expired, though.

445
00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:38,443
Yeah, it's a good thing skunks
can't read no sell-by date.

446
00:17:38,445 --> 00:17:41,646
If he could, probably be too
smart for me to catch him.

447
00:17:42,648 --> 00:17:43,881
You mind if I use your john?

448
00:17:45,218 --> 00:17:46,517
Uh...

449
00:17:46,519 --> 00:17:48,953
- W...
- Uh...

450
00:17:48,955 --> 00:17:50,221
"John" means "turlet".

451
00:17:50,223 --> 00:17:53,424
- Y-Yeah.
- Right. Right.

452
00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:55,226
I wouldn't ask, 'cept it's an emergency.

453
00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:57,028
Sure.

454
00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,496
Right. Um...

455
00:17:58,498 --> 00:17:59,564
I'd like to do that now.

456
00:17:59,566 --> 00:18:01,832
- Yeah. Okay.
- Uh, uh... aah.

457
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:05,171
Just, uh, come on in.

458
00:18:05,173 --> 00:18:06,773
Uh, it's just right down the hall,

459
00:18:06,975 --> 00:18:08,675
- second door on your right. Yeah.
- Thank you.

460
00:18:08,777 --> 00:18:11,078
I-I'm sorry, uh, can
you take your boots off?

461
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,080
We just... We have a little baby.

462
00:18:14,082 --> 00:18:16,449
I got nine kids,

463
00:18:16,451 --> 00:18:18,384
all boys and girls.

464
00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:25,998
I cannot believe you let
that man into our house.

465
00:18:26,118 --> 00:18:27,683
His socks are leaking.

466
00:18:28,179 --> 00:18:29,298
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, no, no, no,

467
00:18:29,338 --> 00:18:30,059
- wrong door!
- No, no, no, no!

468
00:18:32,173 --> 00:18:33,299
I went in the wrong door.

469
00:18:33,701 --> 00:18:34,568
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

470
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:36,202
Looks like he was getting up anyway.

471
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:37,578
She.

472
00:18:38,606 --> 00:18:41,106
Oh, God.

473
00:18:42,938 --> 00:18:45,299
She smell like... Japanese candy.

474
00:18:45,852 --> 00:18:47,988
You know, with the tic-tac-toe
game on the outside.

475
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:54,988
Found it.

476
00:18:56,578 --> 00:18:57,690
What is taking so long?

477
00:18:57,964 --> 00:18:59,396
Took me less time to give birth.

478
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:00,935
Yeah, and you made less noise.

479
00:19:02,585 --> 00:19:05,887
Well, you-you might want to
have a plumber look in there.

480
00:19:06,175 --> 00:19:07,562
Having some trouble going down.

481
00:19:08,317 --> 00:19:10,432
I'd've pushed it if I had my boots on.

482
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,106
But y'all are fussy.

483
00:19:13,645 --> 00:19:15,356
Uh, yeah, that's...

484
00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:18,208
that's okay. We were... we
were gonna get a new toilet

485
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,947
- tomorrow anyway, so...
- New baby, new toilet, like they say.

486
00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:23,649
- That's what they say.
- That's a real cute boy you got there.

487
00:19:24,451 --> 00:19:26,161
Yeah. We have to get
some bows for her hair.

488
00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:27,158
- Oh.
- Ooh! I got it.

489
00:19:27,278 --> 00:19:28,387
No, please... No, no, no.

490
00:19:28,389 --> 00:19:29,421
Five-second rule.

491
00:19:29,819 --> 00:19:30,558
It's scientific.

492
00:19:30,678 --> 00:19:31,578
No. Oh, please. Oh-oh, my God.

493
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,636
Germs can't live if they
only got five seconds

494
00:19:33,664 --> 00:19:34,662
to attach themselves.

495
00:19:36,893 --> 00:19:38,893
I know.

496
00:19:46,455 --> 00:19:48,522
Is this cleanser too strong?

497
00:19:48,524 --> 00:19:49,628
Uh, I hope so.

498
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,245
I bought it at the Mexican market.

499
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,298
There are no rules there.

500
00:19:52,348 --> 00:19:53,695
No, no. I mean the fumes.

501
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,936
Is it too strong for the baby?

502
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,093
I mean, I'm-I'm sure...

503
00:19:57,213 --> 00:19:58,164
I'm sure it's fine, right?

504
00:19:59,550 --> 00:20:00,339
Is it?

505
00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:01,924
No.

506
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,722
I'll get the windows.

507
00:20:04,339 --> 00:20:07,274
Got it. I'm just gonna open this door

508
00:20:07,276 --> 00:20:09,609
- a little bit, just air her out.
- Okay.

509
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:11,716
- It's happening, isn't it?

510
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:12,506
- We're the crazy parents?
- Yeah.

511
00:20:12,626 --> 00:20:14,740
Yeah. But our baby is
going to live forever.

512
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,031
She'll be like the Highlander.

513
00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:17,902
Oh, yeah. People will travel from thousands

514
00:20:17,941 --> 00:20:19,708
of miles just to touch
the hem of her garment.

515
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,760
- As long as they wash their hands.
- Oh, I love you so much.

516
00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:23,451
I love you. I'm gonna get the back door.

517
00:20:23,571 --> 00:20:24,628
Yeah, I'll get the bedroom.

518
00:20:30,331 --> 00:20:32,666
- Hey, did you get the baby's room?
- Nope, not yet.

519
00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:35,731
Smell that? The neighbors
are having a party.

520
00:20:36,946 --> 00:20:38,503
It's the good stuff. You can tell.

521
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:39,807
Yeah. Seriously.

522
00:20:40,512 --> 00:20:42,704
Oh, look, she's so cute, asleep in her...

523
00:20:42,746 --> 00:20:44,202
Skunk!

524
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,066
Synced and corrected by Octavia
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