1 00:00:01,332 --> 00:00:04,832 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:06,233 _ 3 00:00:06,694 --> 00:00:08,257 Greg speaks so fondly 4 00:00:08,281 --> 00:00:10,634 about you taking care of him when he was a child. 5 00:00:10,868 --> 00:00:13,434 I got to admit, I had a big crush on you. 6 00:00:15,673 --> 00:00:16,169 Yeah. 7 00:00:16,289 --> 00:00:19,103 So I'm heading back to work, and we're looking 8 00:00:19,223 --> 00:00:21,376 just to find the right person to take care of Lark. 9 00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:23,291 And i don't know if you remember this, 10 00:00:23,411 --> 00:00:26,541 but, uh... I found little Toot Toot. 11 00:00:27,129 --> 00:00:28,496 Did I toot? 12 00:00:28,498 --> 00:00:29,864 I'm sorry. 13 00:00:29,866 --> 00:00:31,265 Uh, no, no. 14 00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:33,500 Uh, little Toot Toot's his name. 15 00:00:33,502 --> 00:00:34,969 You-you gave him to me. 16 00:00:34,971 --> 00:00:37,404 - Remember? - Okay. 17 00:00:37,406 --> 00:00:40,474 Uh, so w-we'll just... we'll talk it over 18 00:00:40,476 --> 00:00:41,513 and come to a decision, 19 00:00:41,633 --> 00:00:45,946 and we will... telegram you. 20 00:00:46,265 --> 00:00:47,981 Oh, you're so great with Lark. 21 00:00:47,983 --> 00:00:49,850 - Thank you so much. - Of course. 22 00:00:49,852 --> 00:00:51,853 Um, and we'll just... we'll, uh, be in touch. 23 00:00:51,973 --> 00:00:53,554 Great, I'm doing a humanitarian outreach trip 24 00:00:53,556 --> 00:00:54,807 next week in Haiti, 25 00:00:54,927 --> 00:00:56,557 but I'll be available any time after that, so... 26 00:00:56,559 --> 00:00:58,492 Great. How cool. Okay, wow. 27 00:00:58,494 --> 00:00:59,860 - Thank you guys so much. - Okay, all right. 28 00:00:59,862 --> 00:01:00,861 Talk to you soon. 29 00:01:00,863 --> 00:01:02,062 Bye. 30 00:01:02,064 --> 00:01:04,631 Well? 31 00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:06,600 I'm so sorry. 32 00:01:06,602 --> 00:01:08,635 I cannot believe that she would come on to me 33 00:01:08,637 --> 00:01:10,237 in front of you like that. 34 00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:12,472 Back up. What? 35 00:01:12,474 --> 00:01:13,874 Yeah, did you see her? 36 00:01:13,876 --> 00:01:15,509 She gave me one of these. 37 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,146 - She looked down and then up? - Yes. 38 00:01:19,148 --> 00:01:20,914 - Oh. - Did you see it? 39 00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:22,149 Maybe. 40 00:01:22,151 --> 00:01:23,483 She also gave me one of these. 41 00:01:23,485 --> 00:01:24,985 I could not believe she did this. 42 00:01:24,987 --> 00:01:26,186 She went... 43 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,089 Yeah. 44 00:01:29,091 --> 00:01:30,056 Well, that's sensual. 45 00:01:30,058 --> 00:01:31,491 - And that was... - Yeah. 46 00:01:31,493 --> 00:01:32,759 - I mean... - She had her eye on the prize. 47 00:01:32,761 --> 00:01:34,160 I'm not gonna spend 48 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,662 the next three years fighting that woman off. 49 00:01:35,664 --> 00:01:36,730 No. 50 00:01:36,732 --> 00:01:38,331 I didn't ask to look like this. 51 00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:40,734 No, I didn't ask for you to look like that either. 52 00:01:40,736 --> 00:01:42,669 So excited about this one. 53 00:01:42,671 --> 00:01:44,771 The agency said it's their favorite candidate. 54 00:01:44,773 --> 00:01:46,561 Okay. 55 00:01:46,681 --> 00:01:47,785 - Hi... Oh, no, no, no, no. - W-W-W-Wait... 56 00:01:47,905 --> 00:01:48,479 - Wait, w-w-w-wait, please, please. - No, no. 57 00:01:48,599 --> 00:01:50,750 - Oh, hell, no... - wait, wait, please. 58 00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:51,978 Please, we heard through the grapevine 59 00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,313 you're in need of expert child care. 60 00:01:53,315 --> 00:01:55,048 And we are specialists in the field. 61 00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:56,983 You're lactation specialists, and the last time we saw you, 62 00:01:56,985 --> 00:01:59,018 - you were stealing our baby formula. - Yeah. 63 00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:01,254 So you do concede that we're specialists. 64 00:02:01,256 --> 00:02:02,722 - Uh, get out. - No. 65 00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:04,624 No, please, please, give us two minutes 66 00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:07,560 to explain why we are the best people to raise your child. 67 00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:09,062 We need money. 68 00:02:09,064 --> 00:02:11,397 We are very, very desperate for money. 69 00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,766 We tried to sell my eggs. 70 00:02:13,768 --> 00:02:15,501 But... 71 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,203 there... there were none. 72 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:19,939 Okay, well, not the strongest opener. 73 00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:23,576 We're great with kids, so... goo-goo-ga-ga. 74 00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,111 We speak their language. 75 00:02:29,284 --> 00:02:30,750 We actually... 76 00:02:30,752 --> 00:02:32,318 we spend two hours a day as babies. 77 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,220 - Two hours? - Mm-hmm. 78 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,023 Um, uh, you can definitely 79 00:02:37,025 --> 00:02:38,524 - stop speaking tha-that language. - Yeah. 80 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,960 Um, and we're not gonna hire you. 81 00:02:40,962 --> 00:02:42,328 Uh, and that's obvious. 82 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:43,863 So you can just save your breath. 83 00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:44,964 Not gonna happen. 84 00:02:44,966 --> 00:02:46,899 We get it... we totally understand. 85 00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,300 Just one small wrinkle. 86 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,502 Hmm? 87 00:02:49,504 --> 00:02:51,137 Could we borrow a thousand dollars? 88 00:02:51,139 --> 00:02:52,671 - No. - No. 89 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,273 Could we sleep on your couch? 90 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:57,109 - No. - I think we've given you a lot to chew on. 91 00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:59,345 - Yep. - So we'll leave you with that. 92 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:02,248 And... possibly see you Monday. 93 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,316 - No. - No? 94 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,818 Tonita, thank you for coming. 95 00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:07,953 Colleen speaks so highly of you. 96 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,622 We've just never left Lark with anyone 97 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,090 for more than a few hours, 98 00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:13,926 so th-this is kind of a... a big adjustment for us. 99 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:16,862 I promise I will treat her like my child. 100 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:17,863 Okay. 101 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,964 May I? 102 00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,734 Um... yeah, okay. 103 00:03:21,736 --> 00:03:23,102 Okay, come on, Lark. 104 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,176 I guess we-we'll just... go run some errands 105 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,078 and let you two get to know each other. 106 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,246 - Okay. - Okay. 107 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,549 All right, and we're leaving. 108 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,784 Okay. 109 00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,219 And come on, let's go. 110 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,253 Let's go. 111 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,654 Uh, come on. 112 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,556 Here we go, and we're walking. 113 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,824 Good. 114 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,459 Greg. 115 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:48,827 What's the matter? She seems great. 116 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,629 She smells like a rain forest. 117 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,597 How do I know she's gonna make the same decisions I would make? 118 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,433 Would I make the same decisions you would make? 119 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,768 - No. - But you trust me with our kid? 120 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,571 Ye... yes. 121 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,807 - So let's just give her a shot, okay? - Okay. All right. 122 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:02,677 - Give her a chance. - Okay, I'm... yeah. 123 00:04:02,797 --> 00:04:03,857 I'm gonna... I'm gonna trust her. 124 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,310 - Okay, we're leaving. - Okay. 125 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,478 - We're leaving. - Bye. 126 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,479 - Bye, baby. - Bye. 127 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,446 - Bye, baby. - Bye, Lark. 128 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,447 - Okay, bye. - Bye-bye. 129 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,482 - Come on. - Bye. 130 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,917 - Let's go. - Oh, oh, oh. 131 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:12,754 I think I might have forgotten something. 132 00:04:12,874 --> 00:04:13,459 No, you didn't, you didn't. 133 00:04:13,579 --> 00:04:14,638 - It's my baby, y... okay. - No, you didn't. 134 00:04:14,758 --> 00:04:15,850 You're fine. 135 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,223 Ooh, boy. 136 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:19,612 I think we found our nanny. 137 00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:22,409 Tonita was singing little baby Lark to sleep, 138 00:04:22,422 --> 00:04:24,329 - and I woke up two hours later. - Oh, yeah? 139 00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:28,533 Was she singing about her time in the big house? 140 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,503 - What? - Ran a background check on Tonita. 141 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,205 Turns out she was arrested. 142 00:04:35,046 --> 00:04:37,242 Okay, come on. Look. 143 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,685 She-she was arrested decades ago, 144 00:04:39,805 --> 00:04:41,823 protesting the Vietnam War at a sit-in. 145 00:04:41,943 --> 00:04:43,781 Yeah, well, know what that means? 146 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:44,575 Lazy. 147 00:04:44,928 --> 00:04:47,562 I mean, if she was a go-getter, she would have been at a march. 148 00:04:47,682 --> 00:04:49,711 We need to talk. 149 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,419 I run a background check on you, 150 00:04:51,849 --> 00:04:54,196 and it says you've been arrested. 151 00:04:54,438 --> 00:04:55,254 What? 152 00:04:55,374 --> 00:04:57,667 I always check my families... I don't know 153 00:04:57,787 --> 00:05:00,465 what you crazy white people keep in your closets. 154 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,800 Okay, wait a minute, time-out. You were arrested? 155 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,435 She show her boobies to police officer. 156 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:06,871 I was in college, I had too much to drink, 157 00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:08,673 and, honestly, if you would have seen them back then, 158 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:10,007 you would have shown 'em off, too. 159 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,743 The Internet never forgets. 160 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,946 Wait, so you ran a background check on me. 161 00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:16,648 Wow. 162 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,051 That is the same decision I... 163 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:22,520 would have made if I were... 164 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:27,191 the type of person who did background checks on people. 165 00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:30,628 Tonita, we would love to offer you the job. 166 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,363 I mean, if you still want it. 167 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,199 - Oh, I would be honored. - Oh. 168 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:36,200 Good. 169 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,235 Yay. 170 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,303 Aw... 171 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,227 _ 172 00:05:47,345 --> 00:05:48,512 That was a great show. 173 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:49,238 - Yep. - Mm-hmm. 174 00:05:49,358 --> 00:05:51,089 Now we get to sleep out here in a field. 175 00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:52,510 Anything's better than the garage. 176 00:05:53,337 --> 00:05:56,053 You guys want to try some homemade apple and onion wine? 177 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:58,064 - No, I think I'm gonna pass, man. - I'm good with my beer. 178 00:05:58,184 --> 00:06:00,324 Secret ingredient is antacid tablets. 179 00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:02,226 You put 'em in there for a preemptive strike. 180 00:06:03,386 --> 00:06:05,062 Doesn't really seem like it's working. 181 00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:06,110 Ah, tell you something, guys, 182 00:06:06,230 --> 00:06:07,168 I really love Tom Petty, 183 00:06:07,288 --> 00:06:08,843 but he is starting to look more and more 184 00:06:08,963 --> 00:06:10,728 like a lesbian scarecrow. 185 00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,325 Look at you in that cool chair, man. 186 00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:13,663 - You look cool. - Yeah. 187 00:06:13,783 --> 00:06:15,371 - Let me try that cool chair. - You want in? Here you go. 188 00:06:15,491 --> 00:06:17,140 - Let me try it. - Go for it. 189 00:06:17,142 --> 00:06:18,575 - All right, real quick. - Yeah. 190 00:06:18,577 --> 00:06:19,543 Best song of the night. 191 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,711 - Oh, by... - Go. 192 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,112 Undoubtedly, "Won't Back Down." 193 00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:24,085 - No, "Running Down a Dream." - No way. 194 00:06:24,205 --> 00:06:26,516 Come on, you guys got to put aside your petty differences. 195 00:06:26,518 --> 00:06:28,585 Oh, that's good. 196 00:06:28,587 --> 00:06:31,121 Congratulations, you're officially a dad. 197 00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:33,190 I've been sitting on that one since the drive up yesterday. 198 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:34,257 I got it. 199 00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:36,193 - I got it... ooh... - Oh! 200 00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:38,462 Oh, and we got a piper down. 201 00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,730 It reclines! 202 00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:43,024 Well, this dad is gonna get his first full night's sleep 203 00:06:43,144 --> 00:06:43,873 since he was arrested. 204 00:06:43,993 --> 00:06:46,803 What? No. No, no, no, no, this is boys weekend. 205 00:06:46,805 --> 00:06:47,980 We are not going the whole weekend 206 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:50,273 without taking our shirts off. Shirt off, Greg. 207 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:52,909 Tim, Tim, until we need a light source, you keep your shirt on. 208 00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:55,278 My arms and my neck are tan. 209 00:06:55,285 --> 00:06:55,869 They're pink. 210 00:06:55,989 --> 00:06:57,126 Well, they get tan next. 211 00:06:57,246 --> 00:06:58,815 I'm like Neapolitan ice cream. 212 00:06:58,817 --> 00:07:02,419 It's vanilla, then strawberry, and then chocolate. 213 00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:04,788 We got a tent dive! 214 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,823 Oh, no! 215 00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:09,926 What are you doing? 216 00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:12,562 You're right, we should go to bed. 217 00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:14,330 - Yeah, getting late. - Let's help each other up. 218 00:07:14,332 --> 00:07:15,765 Come on. 219 00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:17,800 Come on, Tim, stop goofing around. 220 00:07:20,238 --> 00:07:21,938 Hey, we got any of that gorp left? 221 00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,606 I don't know. Just get in, okay? 222 00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:27,443 Double tent dive! 223 00:07:27,445 --> 00:07:29,145 - Ow! - Get off me. 224 00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:30,813 This is the best night ever! 225 00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:34,817 I'm gonna fight someone tonight! 226 00:07:39,456 --> 00:07:40,623 Is that really how you sleep, man? 227 00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:42,692 No, but you said I got to keep a shirt on. 228 00:07:42,694 --> 00:07:44,594 Oh! I saw tip. 229 00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:46,529 - I'm sorry. - I saw tip. 230 00:07:46,531 --> 00:07:47,897 Oh, my gosh, I think I forgot 231 00:07:47,899 --> 00:07:49,899 my battery pack for my apnea machine. 232 00:07:49,901 --> 00:07:52,535 - Oh! Oh, whoa, whoa, no! - I know, what am I gonna do? 233 00:07:52,537 --> 00:07:54,203 - Just get in the... - Just get in the sleeping bag, man. 234 00:07:54,205 --> 00:07:55,638 That's all you got to do. 235 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,672 Don't worry about it. 236 00:07:56,674 --> 00:07:58,407 I'm so glad you guys are my brothers. 237 00:07:58,409 --> 00:08:00,343 In-law. 238 00:08:00,345 --> 00:08:03,579 Who wants a tent dive?! 239 00:08:03,581 --> 00:08:05,247 Yeah, let's get that tent! 240 00:08:05,249 --> 00:08:07,550 Which tent? Which tent? Our tent? 241 00:08:07,552 --> 00:08:09,218 - Whose tent? Whose tent? - I don't know. 242 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:10,553 Tent dive! 243 00:08:11,989 --> 00:08:13,222 Boom! 244 00:08:13,224 --> 00:08:14,290 That sounded like it hurt. 245 00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:15,658 Ow, that hurt! 246 00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:18,227 I told you. It's the ear of a doctor. 247 00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:19,628 - Yeah! - Guys, get out of here. 248 00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:21,497 Off the top rung! 249 00:08:21,499 --> 00:08:22,665 Jerk! 250 00:08:22,667 --> 00:08:25,200 Yeah, in your face! 251 00:08:25,202 --> 00:08:26,468 - Greg. - What? 252 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:29,305 It's the Franklin brothers all over again. 253 00:08:29,307 --> 00:08:31,740 Totally. 254 00:08:33,243 --> 00:08:35,077 Who are the Franklin brothers? 255 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:36,678 They were these bullies from our neighborhood 256 00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:38,247 that used to torture us. 257 00:08:38,249 --> 00:08:39,548 They used to chase after us 258 00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:41,450 when we'd ride our bikes around the neighborhood. 259 00:08:41,452 --> 00:08:43,986 I have flashbacks whenever I go to a spin class. 260 00:08:43,988 --> 00:08:45,687 They're the reason we're so good at video games. 261 00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:47,456 They made us indoor kids. 262 00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,825 Up, up, down, down, left, right, 263 00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:51,827 left, right, B, A, select, start. 264 00:08:51,829 --> 00:08:53,762 Yeah, I get it, brothers. 265 00:08:53,764 --> 00:08:56,999 Yeah, you know, I looked exactly like this when I was 13, 266 00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:58,767 so I got bullied a lot, too, 267 00:08:59,702 --> 00:09:01,169 Balding kids got it rough 268 00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:02,938 in middle school. 269 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,241 Tent dive! 270 00:09:06,243 --> 00:09:07,776 Here comes the.. 271 00:09:07,778 --> 00:09:10,112 They're tormenting an entire campsite, 272 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,279 and nobody's doing anything. 273 00:09:11,281 --> 00:09:12,581 Yes, I know. 274 00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:14,282 Guys, we got to do something. 275 00:09:14,284 --> 00:09:16,651 I do not want to go out there and get in a fight. 276 00:09:16,653 --> 00:09:17,752 I just want to sleep. 277 00:09:17,754 --> 00:09:19,120 I've never been in a fight. 278 00:09:19,122 --> 00:09:20,422 I have. 279 00:09:20,424 --> 00:09:22,691 Yes, it was a dance fight. I won. 280 00:09:22,693 --> 00:09:24,893 No one wins in a dance fight. 281 00:09:24,895 --> 00:09:26,328 Well, if we're going out there, I got a little something 282 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:29,798 in my medical kit that'll stack the odds in our favor. 283 00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:32,233 Heroin? Yeah, sure. 284 00:09:32,235 --> 00:09:33,735 No, it's vitamin B12 shots. 285 00:09:33,737 --> 00:09:35,336 It'll give us a nice natural boost, 286 00:09:35,338 --> 00:09:38,273 like sending back a sandwich or sleeping without pants on. 287 00:09:38,275 --> 00:09:40,266 - Yeah, I'm in. - Okay, yeah, me, too. 288 00:09:40,386 --> 00:09:41,400 All right, gentlemen, butts up. 289 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,116 Oh, come on... 290 00:09:42,236 --> 00:09:43,411 - you can't give it to me in my arm... - Do my arm. 291 00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:44,188 - like an adult? - Butts up. 292 00:09:44,308 --> 00:09:45,647 I'm the doctor. 293 00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:51,686 It's weird. I haven't gone double-gun since medical school. 294 00:09:51,688 --> 00:09:53,922 Yeah, do you really think it's a good idea for you to do... 295 00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:56,124 - Oh! - Full moon fever. 296 00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,259 Whew! Okay. 297 00:09:58,261 --> 00:09:59,560 Who wants to do my butt? 298 00:09:59,562 --> 00:10:00,762 Matt does. 299 00:10:00,764 --> 00:10:02,230 All right. 300 00:10:02,232 --> 00:10:04,899 Ah, that's it. 301 00:10:04,901 --> 00:10:05,967 Whew, I feel good. 302 00:10:05,969 --> 00:10:07,435 Is this how everyone feels all the time? 303 00:10:07,437 --> 00:10:08,636 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, 304 00:10:08,638 --> 00:10:09,804 but I kind of feel like taking my shirt off. 305 00:10:09,806 --> 00:10:11,472 I won't back down. 306 00:10:12,494 --> 00:10:13,608 Come on. 307 00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:15,160 All right. 308 00:10:15,370 --> 00:10:16,777 Let's save this tent city. 309 00:10:16,779 --> 00:10:18,045 This is great. 310 00:10:18,047 --> 00:10:19,814 I always wanted my first fight to be with you guys. 311 00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:21,148 Okay, we are gonna go out there 312 00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:22,583 and we are gonna rewrite history. 313 00:10:22,585 --> 00:10:25,253 Yeah, we're gonna go avenge our younger wussie selves. 314 00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:27,388 This happens right now! 315 00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:28,489 I wish we had capes. 316 00:10:28,491 --> 00:10:29,690 I wish I had pants. 317 00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:31,192 I wish I had more B12. 318 00:10:34,629 --> 00:10:35,763 There they are! 319 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,231 They're the guys that were tent diving! 320 00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:38,032 Oh, no. 321 00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,133 Let's get 'em! 322 00:10:39,135 --> 00:10:40,134 Come on! 323 00:10:40,136 --> 00:10:41,302 Greg! 324 00:10:41,304 --> 00:10:42,503 Dance, Matt! 325 00:10:42,505 --> 00:10:44,004 I don't have a beat! 326 00:10:44,006 --> 00:10:45,406 Go! 327 00:10:47,236 --> 00:10:49,610 I thought we agreed not to give him money. 328 00:10:49,612 --> 00:10:51,679 He didn't give me money; he gave me a belt buckle 329 00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:53,480 he said was worth $75. 330 00:10:53,482 --> 00:10:55,416 Kenny Rogers got a DUI in that buckle. 331 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,540 _ 332 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:02,796 All right, I'm out of here. 333 00:11:02,798 --> 00:11:04,631 Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 334 00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:05,599 What's that? 335 00:11:05,601 --> 00:11:06,834 It's just an emergency kit. 336 00:11:06,836 --> 00:11:08,168 Anything you might need on a senior camping trip. 337 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:10,007 There's matches, sunscreen, 338 00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,257 one of those things that shatters glass, 339 00:11:11,377 --> 00:11:12,634 in case your car goes into the lake 340 00:11:12,754 --> 00:11:13,550 and you're trapped and can't get out. 341 00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:14,523 Mom, stop. 342 00:11:14,552 --> 00:11:15,876 Just take it so I don't worry. 343 00:11:15,878 --> 00:11:17,144 If I took it, you'd still worry, 344 00:11:17,146 --> 00:11:19,112 and I'd be the dweeb with the mommy safety sack. 345 00:11:19,114 --> 00:11:21,415 - Fine. - Love you. 346 00:11:21,417 --> 00:11:22,683 I love you. 347 00:11:22,685 --> 00:11:23,817 See you later, Uncle Matt. 348 00:11:23,819 --> 00:11:25,385 - Have fun camping. - Hey. 349 00:11:25,387 --> 00:11:26,586 You really going camping? 350 00:11:26,588 --> 00:11:28,121 - No. - Have fun camping. 351 00:11:28,123 --> 00:11:30,724 Thank you so much for letting me borrow your car. 352 00:11:30,726 --> 00:11:32,793 No problem. I apologize for the smell. 353 00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,161 Oh, and the stereo's not working. 354 00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:35,762 Tim's Iron Maiden CD got stuck in there. 355 00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:37,531 He tried to pry it out with a crayon. 356 00:11:37,533 --> 00:11:38,832 - Okay. - And, um, 357 00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:40,634 just a little something extra. 358 00:11:40,636 --> 00:11:42,302 Oh, no, Heather, no, no, no, I don't need this. 359 00:11:42,304 --> 00:11:44,304 You do, you do, you have job interviews next week, 360 00:11:44,306 --> 00:11:46,640 and you might need a new suit or briefcase or something. 361 00:11:46,642 --> 00:11:49,242 I didn't realize I was interviewing for a job in 1985. 362 00:11:49,244 --> 00:11:50,310 Just take it so I don't worry. 363 00:11:50,312 --> 00:11:51,277 Okay. 364 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:52,712 Oh, and this, too, for emergencies. 365 00:11:52,714 --> 00:11:54,514 Thank you. 366 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,284 And I couldn't press charges against them 367 00:11:58,286 --> 00:11:59,853 because apparently, in Florida it's not illegal 368 00:11:59,855 --> 00:12:01,721 to put an alligator in someone's bed. 369 00:12:01,723 --> 00:12:03,823 Oh, man, I love Florida. 370 00:12:03,825 --> 00:12:05,735 The whole state's like one of those restaurants where 371 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,794 - you can throw peanut shells on the floor. - Yeah. 372 00:12:08,596 --> 00:12:10,597 - Oh, your earrings are so pretty. - Yeah. 373 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,966 Oh, thanks, Matt got 'em for me this afternoon. 374 00:12:12,968 --> 00:12:14,465 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Oh. Oh, did he? 375 00:12:14,585 --> 00:12:15,869 He got those for you today? 376 00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:17,170 Like, noon? 377 00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:19,772 And then after, he gave you those big earrings. Wow. 378 00:12:19,774 --> 00:12:22,208 Wow, must be getting serious. 379 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:23,076 I think so. 380 00:12:23,078 --> 00:12:24,544 Unless he cheated. 381 00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:26,813 But honestly, if he did, it's a fair trade. 382 00:12:26,815 --> 00:12:29,649 I-I think a little more wine, 'cause I like wine. 383 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:30,150 And you... 384 00:12:30,151 --> 00:12:31,150 - can you help me in the kitchen right now? - Okay. 385 00:12:31,152 --> 00:12:33,586 - Please? Let's go. Come on. - Okay. 386 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,157 I gave Matt some money this morning 387 00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:39,458 to help him out with a job interview, 388 00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:40,626 and now she has new earrings. 389 00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:42,195 Wait, Matt asked you for money? 390 00:12:42,197 --> 00:12:44,931 No, but I knew that he knew that I knew he wanted to ask me. 391 00:12:44,933 --> 00:12:46,132 It's a sister thing. 392 00:12:46,134 --> 00:12:47,333 Does Greg give him money? 393 00:12:47,335 --> 00:12:48,367 No, 'cause you won't let him. 394 00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:49,368 Everybody knows that. 395 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:50,536 I never said that. 396 00:12:50,538 --> 00:12:51,971 What else does Greg say I don't let him do? 397 00:12:51,973 --> 00:12:53,606 Um, ride a tandem bicycle, 398 00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:56,342 wear overalls and buy a stormtrooper costume. 399 00:12:56,344 --> 00:12:58,144 Only one of those things is true, 400 00:12:58,146 --> 00:12:59,912 but two of them should be. 401 00:12:59,914 --> 00:13:01,547 Interception! 402 00:13:01,549 --> 00:13:03,482 Yes! 403 00:13:06,254 --> 00:13:08,287 Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 404 00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:09,688 Yeah, I-I can't do this. Hi. 405 00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:10,956 - Hello. - Hi. 406 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,392 Did he tell you that I gave him the money 407 00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:14,560 to buy you those earrings? 408 00:13:14,562 --> 00:13:16,295 - Uh... - No, he did not tell me that. 409 00:13:16,297 --> 00:13:17,596 I-I don't care, 410 00:13:17,598 --> 00:13:19,565 it's just that I-I need you to know that. 411 00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:21,500 So, I, yeah, I guess I do care a little bit. 412 00:13:21,502 --> 00:13:23,302 Heather, I didn't use your money on those. 413 00:13:23,304 --> 00:13:24,937 Did you use what I gave you? 414 00:13:24,939 --> 00:13:26,972 I thought we agreed not to give him money. 415 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,307 You gave him money? 416 00:13:28,309 --> 00:13:30,342 - N-No. - No, he didn't give me money. 417 00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:33,779 He gave me a belt buckle he said was worth $75. 418 00:13:33,781 --> 00:13:36,615 Kenny Rogers got a DUI in that buckle. 419 00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:37,950 I didn't give him any money. 420 00:13:37,952 --> 00:13:40,319 And why is that? And before you answer, 421 00:13:40,321 --> 00:13:42,654 just know that I know. 422 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,291 Do you know that I want a stormtrooper outfit? 423 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,427 I'm also aware of that, yes. 424 00:13:48,429 --> 00:13:51,129 Heather, those are my earrings from my Billy Idol phase. 425 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,397 Remember? 426 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,267 Oh, yes, I... now that you say it, 427 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,369 I remember, oh... 428 00:13:57,371 --> 00:13:59,071 I don't take your money because I need it. 429 00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:02,174 I take your money because you need me to take it. 430 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,943 That-that is not true. 431 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:07,512 - No, honey, that's true. - Even I know that. 432 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,980 Okay, y-yes, that's true. 433 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,316 But it's only because I worry about you. 434 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,951 And I need to know that you're okay. 435 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:16,154 I'm gr... I'm great! Look, look, okay. 436 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,822 You know what? I was gonna wait until Greg 437 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,591 had some news that I could one-up, but he's... 438 00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:20,925 He's got nothing. 439 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:22,427 I might get a stormtrooper outfit. 440 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,729 Nothing. So, I got a job today. 441 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,468 It's at a graphic design company. 442 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,636 It's in my field, and you know, 443 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,138 for a group of nerds, 444 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,339 they actually seem like they're pretty cool. 445 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,007 I'm so happy you got a job, 446 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,942 because it sounds like there's no cute girls there. 447 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,278 In graphic design? None. 448 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,413 - To Matt! - Yes! Yay! 449 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,415 May your new job 450 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,550 bring you great joy 451 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,352 and a new place to live. 452 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:48,419 Hear, hear! 453 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,154 All right. 454 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,957 There's somebody I want you to meet. 455 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:56,361 Uh, someone that I'm hoping you'll welcome into the family. 456 00:15:02,454 --> 00:15:04,154 _ 457 00:15:05,651 --> 00:15:07,022 Why did he call all of us here? 458 00:15:07,142 --> 00:15:08,051 Do you think he's sick? 459 00:15:08,171 --> 00:15:08,920 I don't know, it's big. 460 00:15:08,922 --> 00:15:10,388 Mom has wine in her coffee mug. 461 00:15:10,508 --> 00:15:12,182 So do I. Do you want some? 462 00:15:12,392 --> 00:15:13,658 - I thought you'd never ask. - Mm-hmm. 463 00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:16,618 Kids, there's somebody I want you to meet. 464 00:15:16,738 --> 00:15:19,731 Uh, someone that I'm hoping you'll welcome into the family. 465 00:15:19,733 --> 00:15:21,833 He's got another kid. I knew it! I've always known it. 466 00:15:22,035 --> 00:15:23,534 My dad makes the same announcement 467 00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:24,969 every couple of years. 468 00:15:24,971 --> 00:15:26,270 Christmas is getting very expensive. 469 00:15:26,272 --> 00:15:27,572 Guys, stop it. 470 00:15:27,574 --> 00:15:29,140 Do you have another kid, Dad? 471 00:15:29,142 --> 00:15:31,879 What? Well, uh... 472 00:15:32,243 --> 00:15:32,977 kind of. 473 00:15:33,879 --> 00:15:35,980 I made a puppet! 474 00:15:38,035 --> 00:15:40,518 Well, see you in a month, sleep. 475 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,585 His name is Cheeto. 476 00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:43,020 Is he cute or what? 477 00:15:43,022 --> 00:15:46,839 Retirement has been really hard for your father. 478 00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,875 And so we're just thrilled 479 00:15:48,995 --> 00:15:50,912 that he found this wonderful new hobby. 480 00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:52,997 Aren't we? 481 00:15:52,999 --> 00:15:54,765 Yes. 482 00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:56,981 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I found something I'm really good at. 483 00:15:57,101 --> 00:15:58,556 - Ooh! - Oh, whoa! 484 00:15:58,676 --> 00:16:01,238 Uh, this just pops right back on. 485 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,175 Now, I'm gonna carve a puppet for each one of you. 486 00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:07,278 This one is for Baby Lark. 487 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,313 Oh, no, that's... but... 488 00:16:09,315 --> 00:16:11,715 that's not fair to all of the... 489 00:16:11,717 --> 00:16:13,083 puppet lovers here. 490 00:16:13,085 --> 00:16:15,719 - Cheeto decides what's fair. - I see. 491 00:16:15,721 --> 00:16:17,254 I want to be with Lark! 492 00:16:17,256 --> 00:16:18,656 It's talking. 493 00:16:18,658 --> 00:16:20,190 But, you know, you can give him 494 00:16:20,192 --> 00:16:21,525 any voice you want. 495 00:16:21,527 --> 00:16:23,127 Oh, okay. There's options. 496 00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:24,361 Oh! 497 00:16:25,663 --> 00:16:27,297 Oh, now I can eat a goat. 498 00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:36,473 Know what my dad's hobby is? 499 00:16:36,475 --> 00:16:37,608 No, what? 500 00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:39,343 I have no idea. 501 00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:41,511 But I'll tell you what it's not... building nightmares. 502 00:16:41,513 --> 00:16:43,347 Your dad also booed our wedding dance. 503 00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:46,550 Greg, she's not old enough for a blanket. 504 00:16:48,153 --> 00:16:49,786 Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! She's here, she's here, 505 00:16:49,788 --> 00:16:52,756 she's here, she's fine. It was just a joke. 506 00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:55,559 You think it's funny screwing with the only thing I love? 507 00:16:55,561 --> 00:16:56,460 The only thing? 508 00:16:56,462 --> 00:16:58,995 Yeah, now. 509 00:17:01,332 --> 00:17:04,067 But did you see I-I put him in a... 510 00:17:04,069 --> 00:17:06,269 diaper? 511 00:17:09,307 --> 00:17:11,207 That is a fresh prank! 512 00:17:11,209 --> 00:17:12,709 Well, she didn't want him in the house anymore, 513 00:17:12,711 --> 00:17:14,311 so can I bring him by later today? 514 00:17:14,313 --> 00:17:15,879 Sure, he can live in the closet like my brother. 515 00:17:15,881 --> 00:17:17,047 I'll see you. 516 00:17:17,049 --> 00:17:18,515 - Thanks, Tim. - Sure. 517 00:17:18,517 --> 00:17:20,917 Hey, how we feeling today, Mrs. Abernathy... ? 518 00:17:20,919 --> 00:17:22,452 Oh! 519 00:17:25,524 --> 00:17:28,858 Oh, a new classic. 520 00:17:38,269 --> 00:17:40,270 Hey, Cheeto. 521 00:17:42,306 --> 00:17:43,606 Hey, honey? 522 00:17:43,608 --> 00:17:44,674 Have you seen my... ? 523 00:17:45,844 --> 00:17:47,610 Oh! Oh, my eye! 524 00:17:47,612 --> 00:17:50,413 Oh, it's in my eye. 525 00:17:50,415 --> 00:17:53,216 I mean, he won't have depth perception for a few weeks. 526 00:17:53,218 --> 00:17:55,318 But it was totally worth it. 527 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,120 Hey. 528 00:17:57,122 --> 00:17:58,821 Somebody wake up Matt. 529 00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:00,490 Kickoff in ten minutes. 530 00:18:00,492 --> 00:18:02,725 Matt. 531 00:18:10,935 --> 00:18:12,501 Make sure you can see his little hand, 532 00:18:12,503 --> 00:18:13,803 so it looks like he's gonna 533 00:18:13,805 --> 00:18:15,671 rip your face off and wear it as a mask. 534 00:18:15,673 --> 00:18:17,206 Oh, that is so Cheeto. 535 00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:22,978 Hey, guys. 536 00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,413 Matt? 537 00:18:24,415 --> 00:18:25,481 What? 538 00:18:25,483 --> 00:18:26,949 Weren't you just... ? 539 00:18:31,321 --> 00:18:33,489 - Dad, stop. - Wait, it's a joke. 540 00:18:33,491 --> 00:18:34,824 You went and picked the wrong house, 541 00:18:34,826 --> 00:18:36,825 you piece of... 542 00:18:36,827 --> 00:18:39,194 Cheeto? 543 00:18:42,198 --> 00:18:44,433 Cheeto? Aw. 544 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,175 Well, you all think this is a big joke, don't you? 545 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:57,346 Well, if everybody thinks he's garbage, well, 546 00:18:57,348 --> 00:18:58,947 then he's garbage. 547 00:18:58,949 --> 00:19:00,349 No, John, just... 548 00:19:00,351 --> 00:19:01,383 Honey, wait. 549 00:19:01,385 --> 00:19:02,684 My kids, 550 00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:04,987 listen. 551 00:19:04,989 --> 00:19:08,488 Our house is filled with every pinch pot, 552 00:19:08,742 --> 00:19:10,826 every slumped-over mug 553 00:19:10,828 --> 00:19:12,427 that you ever made. 554 00:19:12,429 --> 00:19:14,696 And we cherish them. 555 00:19:14,698 --> 00:19:17,568 Because they came from you and it doesn't matter 556 00:19:17,688 --> 00:19:19,001 if they're grotesque. 557 00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:21,770 Oh. You think he's grotesque? 558 00:19:21,772 --> 00:19:23,271 - Did I say "grotesque"? - Mm-hmm. 559 00:19:23,273 --> 00:19:26,608 I didn't... it... he makes me want to drink. 560 00:19:27,694 --> 00:19:28,773 Well, I know he's ugly, 561 00:19:28,893 --> 00:19:30,412 but I made him out of their tree. 562 00:19:31,165 --> 00:19:32,380 What? You did? 563 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,050 Yeah, you said you wanted a baby swing in the tree, 564 00:19:35,052 --> 00:19:37,052 but then when we had to chop it down, 565 00:19:37,054 --> 00:19:40,255 I figured the tree would live on in-in Cheeto. 566 00:19:40,257 --> 00:19:42,891 All right, go, go get him out of the trash, Greg. 567 00:19:46,462 --> 00:19:49,764 We love Cheeto, Dad. 568 00:19:49,766 --> 00:19:52,033 Look how he's brought everybody together. 569 00:19:52,035 --> 00:19:53,435 I mean, he's been more fun 570 00:19:53,437 --> 00:19:55,221 than when you discovered the Urban Dictionary. 571 00:19:55,341 --> 00:19:57,524 Yeah, that was a pretty dope time. 572 00:19:57,644 --> 00:19:59,023 Come on, Dad, 573 00:19:59,143 --> 00:20:01,878 I mean, we had no idea what Cheeto meant to you. 574 00:20:01,879 --> 00:20:02,979 Do the Cheeto voice. 575 00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:05,413 - Yeah! - Oh, no, I got... 576 00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:08,383 Cheeto! Cheeto! Cheeto! 577 00:20:08,385 --> 00:20:10,652 Can I braid your hair? 578 00:20:15,462 --> 00:20:17,125 That's our Cheeto. 579 00:20:20,648 --> 00:20:21,847 We really do have 580 00:20:21,849 --> 00:20:23,549 such a special family, don't we? 581 00:20:23,551 --> 00:20:25,250 They are a good bunch, huh? 582 00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:33,158 How can you do that to your own dear wife?! 583 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,028 You know what? That really is fun. 584 00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:38,197 You know? 585 00:20:38,199 --> 00:20:41,967 The laundry chute is right over Matt's bed. 586 00:20:43,547 --> 00:20:45,152 What a good idea. 587 00:20:47,161 --> 00:20:48,561 This is great. 588 00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:52,144 Aah, son of a bitch!