1
00:00:04,770 --> 00:00:06,670
_
2
00:00:06,812 --> 00:00:08,580
Do we really need all this? I mean,
3
00:00:08,582 --> 00:00:10,448
we're trying to find a godparent for Lark,
4
00:00:10,450 --> 00:00:12,350
not catch a serial killer.
5
00:00:12,352 --> 00:00:14,653
Well, you know I always
wanted to work in the FBI.
6
00:00:14,655 --> 00:00:16,688
I just hate running in a suit.
7
00:00:16,690 --> 00:00:17,427
Oh, is that the problem...
8
00:00:17,547 --> 00:00:19,328
- that you have with running?
- Yeah. Yeah.
9
00:00:19,448 --> 00:00:20,759
All right, so,
10
00:00:20,761 --> 00:00:21,726
let's go over our options.
11
00:00:21,728 --> 00:00:22,927
JEN: Okay, what about...
12
00:00:22,929 --> 00:00:25,263
- my parents?
- Gonna have to veto.
13
00:00:25,265 --> 00:00:27,899
Guardians shouldn't live off the grid
14
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and drink rain out of a bucket.
15
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Rainwater's the sweetest water.
16
00:00:31,538 --> 00:00:33,137
What about my parents?
17
00:00:34,306 --> 00:00:35,540
Yeah, I'm gonna veto that.
18
00:00:35,542 --> 00:00:37,942
Um, therapists raise children
19
00:00:37,944 --> 00:00:39,877
who need therapists.
20
00:00:39,879 --> 00:00:41,212
Well, she raised me.
21
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:42,981
And I see your point
22
00:00:42,983 --> 00:00:44,582
and I second your veto.
23
00:00:44,584 --> 00:00:46,284
Uh... all right,
24
00:00:46,286 --> 00:00:47,919
Heather and Tim.
25
00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:50,088
Interesting.
26
00:00:51,290 --> 00:00:53,424
Oh, oh. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
27
00:00:53,426 --> 00:00:55,593
No, go upstairs. Please put the khakis on.
28
00:00:55,595 --> 00:00:58,162
Khakis? No way. It's Saturday.
Saturday's my cutoffs day.
29
00:00:58,164 --> 00:00:59,831
No, honey, Greg and Jen are coming over.
30
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:01,365
New parents don't just drop by
31
00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:03,334
unless it's the godparent conversation
32
00:01:03,336 --> 00:01:06,504
And godparents do not wear cutoffs .
33
00:01:06,506 --> 00:01:07,972
All right, I'll put on my cutoff khakis.
34
00:01:07,974 --> 00:01:09,240
No, no. No, no, no, no.
35
00:01:09,242 --> 00:01:11,142
No. Full coverage khakis.
36
00:01:11,144 --> 00:01:12,443
Like down to the ankle.
37
00:01:12,445 --> 00:01:14,478
I can make 'em go to my ankle.
38
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,414
Okay, honey, p... I'm-I'm...
39
00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:19,950
Really, this is important
to me. Please. Love you!
40
00:01:19,952 --> 00:01:22,286
It's just that, since we've
had Lark, we've started to see
41
00:01:22,406 --> 00:01:23,380
the world differently, you know...
42
00:01:23,382 --> 00:01:24,755
- through a parent's eyes.
- And when we look
43
00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:27,925
at you, we just see such loving, giving
44
00:01:27,927 --> 00:01:29,927
- parents who are always...
- Mom?
45
00:01:29,929 --> 00:01:32,563
We found these in the attic.
Can we go play with them outside?
46
00:01:32,565 --> 00:01:33,631
Yeah, sure.
47
00:01:34,666 --> 00:01:36,333
They're such little self-starters.
48
00:01:36,335 --> 00:01:37,968
And they play so well together.
49
00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:40,004
- SOPHIA: Give it to me!
- SAMANTHA: No, not until we get outside.
50
00:01:40,006 --> 00:01:41,071
SOPHIA: I found them.
51
00:01:41,073 --> 00:01:42,940
Were those rusty lawn darts?
52
00:01:42,942 --> 00:01:44,254
JEN: 'Cause I feel like those are taken
53
00:01:44,374 --> 00:01:47,244
off the market, you know,
because of issues with...
54
00:01:47,245 --> 00:01:47,245
because of issues like
55
00:01:47,246 --> 00:01:48,946
deadliness.
56
00:01:48,948 --> 00:01:51,749
Oh. Don't worry, our kids
have their tetanus shots.
57
00:01:51,751 --> 00:01:54,518
Yeah, yeah. He's a doctor.
58
00:01:55,353 --> 00:01:57,254
Oh, dang.
59
00:01:57,256 --> 00:02:00,290
- You know what? We got a thing.
- Yeah.
60
00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:01,892
- No.
- We got a thing.
61
00:02:01,894 --> 00:02:03,494
- No, you don't.
- Um, yeah. No, and it's so crazy,
62
00:02:03,496 --> 00:02:04,795
'cause the thing is, it's actually
63
00:02:04,797 --> 00:02:06,964
- kind of a big, uh... big deal.
- What-what thing?
64
00:02:06,966 --> 00:02:08,498
It's a... it's a thing. It's just a big...
65
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:09,933
It's a big... it's a big
deal thing. Big, big thing.
66
00:02:09,935 --> 00:02:12,202
So, apologies. Mommy brain. Okay,
67
00:02:12,204 --> 00:02:14,471
- we'll call you.
- Bye!
68
00:02:14,473 --> 00:02:17,174
- Damn it.
- (chuckles)
69
00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:22,887
Had them on underneath the whole time.
70
00:02:23,481 --> 00:02:25,348
And it's just that, since we've had Lark,
71
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,451
it's really changed the
way we look at the world.
72
00:02:27,453 --> 00:02:29,786
Well, speaking of seeing
the world, your mother and I
73
00:02:29,788 --> 00:02:33,423
are gonna take a cruise to that
island where that science nerd
74
00:02:33,425 --> 00:02:34,591
went and studied birds.
75
00:02:34,593 --> 00:02:36,693
We're going to the Galápagos,
76
00:02:36,695 --> 00:02:38,728
and we're going to walk
77
00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:41,531
- in Darwin's footsteps.
- She is.
78
00:02:41,533 --> 00:02:43,900
I'm taking the tour where
you get to shoot machine guns
79
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,902
at the cutouts of the Bond villains.
80
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:47,637
- Sounds sensible.
- Yeah.
81
00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:48,838
I know it's hard to believe
when you're holding
82
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,073
this little angel,
83
00:02:50,075 --> 00:02:51,808
but once your children leave,
84
00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:55,178
you rediscover the person
that you fell in love with.
85
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,247
It's true. We're closer than ever.
86
00:02:57,249 --> 00:02:59,449
JOAN: Oh, let's go show them
87
00:02:59,451 --> 00:03:01,918
the matching bathing suits
we bought for the trip.
88
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,253
JOHN: Yeah.
89
00:03:03,255 --> 00:03:05,021
Fashion show. Hey, Greg, get ready.
90
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:07,790
Put on some of that
thump-thump music of yours, huh?
91
00:03:07,792 --> 00:03:10,760
Thunk-a-thunk-a-thunk.
92
00:03:10,762 --> 00:03:12,762
Okay. All right, well,
we're-we're just gonna have
93
00:03:12,764 --> 00:03:14,864
- to go outside of the family.
- All right.
94
00:03:14,866 --> 00:03:17,567
So, my gays or yours?
95
00:03:17,569 --> 00:03:19,402
You know, let's do mine.
96
00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:22,572
Yours are still "just roommates."
97
00:03:22,574 --> 00:03:24,374
And it's just that, ever
since we've had Lark,
98
00:03:24,376 --> 00:03:26,476
it's really changed the way
that we look at the world.
99
00:03:26,478 --> 00:03:27,944
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm
gonna stop you right there.
100
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:30,012
Is this a godparents request?
101
00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:32,615
(chuckles) What gave it away?
102
00:03:32,617 --> 00:03:34,650
(chuckles) The crudités?
103
00:03:34,652 --> 00:03:37,887
Oh, Jenny, we can't. We're
godparents to six other kids.
104
00:03:37,889 --> 00:03:39,488
We can't take on any more until we see
105
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,190
- how many of our friends die.
- Yeah.
106
00:03:41,192 --> 00:03:43,693
And we already have a lot of
hard partiers on that list.
107
00:03:43,695 --> 00:03:46,462
Mm-hmm. If we got them all at
once, we'd have to start a band.
108
00:03:47,431 --> 00:03:48,864
(sports commentator speaking)
109
00:03:48,866 --> 00:03:50,499
- Here you go, darling.
- Thank you.
110
00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:51,834
(as the officials now bring out... )
111
00:03:51,836 --> 00:03:54,737
What are we gonna do with you, Lark?
112
00:03:54,739 --> 00:03:56,705
- Hold still.
- Okay. But, you know, to be fair,
113
00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:58,941
you have poked me in the eye twice already.
114
00:03:58,943 --> 00:04:00,709
If I'm going to be a professional model,
115
00:04:00,711 --> 00:04:02,678
- I have to practice.
- Okay.
116
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,580
And Mom won't let me wear makeup.
117
00:04:04,582 --> 00:04:06,382
You know, being a model's
a very interesting job,
118
00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:08,417
but there are other good ones out there.
119
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:10,819
I know. I'm also thinking of being
120
00:04:10,821 --> 00:04:13,355
- a movie star or a singer.
- Oh, man.
121
00:04:13,357 --> 00:04:16,091
I thought you were gonna say
"senator." That would be awful.
122
00:04:16,093 --> 00:04:17,760
- Why?
- Well, because then you'll be
123
00:04:17,762 --> 00:04:19,094
in charge of making all the rules
124
00:04:19,096 --> 00:04:20,596
and you'd have to run the country.
125
00:04:20,598 --> 00:04:21,930
Hey, that sounds good.
126
00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:23,465
- Maybe I'll do that.
- Oh, no, no.
127
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:24,967
You're gonna be way too busy modeling.
128
00:04:24,969 --> 00:04:26,902
Don't tell me what to do.
129
00:04:26,904 --> 00:04:28,570
I can be a senator if I want.
130
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,440
Okay. Well, you already
got the bossy part down.
131
00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:37,140
When we look at you, we see a person
132
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,920
who is loving and kind
133
00:04:40,421 --> 00:04:44,188
and a person who would know what to say
134
00:04:44,308 --> 00:04:46,788
to a little girl if her mom and dad
135
00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:48,824
weren't there... (chuckles)
136
00:04:48,826 --> 00:04:52,122
and she was going to her first school dance
137
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,821
and was wondering if anyone
would dance with her.
138
00:04:58,147 --> 00:05:01,423
So, I think before I start
crying we wanna ask...
139
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,423
will you be Lark's godparent?
140
00:05:04,807 --> 00:05:05,611
Me?
141
00:05:07,528 --> 00:05:08,928
Oh, yeah.
142
00:05:09,711 --> 00:05:10,977
Yeah, of course.
143
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,655
Yeah.
144
00:05:12,775 --> 00:05:14,347
And if anything should happen,
145
00:05:14,349 --> 00:05:16,015
I promise I will love her
146
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,584
just like she is my own
147
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:21,054
and I will honor your memory with dignity.
148
00:05:21,056 --> 00:05:22,522
(sniffles)
149
00:05:22,524 --> 00:05:24,257
(chuckling, crying)
150
00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:26,593
Aw.
151
00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:28,261
Well, if that's what they were looking for,
152
00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:30,630
we never stood a chance.
153
00:05:30,632 --> 00:05:32,832
I never noticed till right now
154
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:36,035
- how much you and Matt look alike.
- Yeah.
155
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,239
- _
- (sports commentator speaking)
156
00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:41,340
(And the ball is snapped... )
157
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,043
HEATHER: Oh.
158
00:05:44,045 --> 00:05:47,345
Honey. Honey. Honey, listen,
159
00:05:47,465 --> 00:05:49,196
I left the turkey in the car overnight. Now
it's spoiled.
160
00:05:49,227 --> 00:05:50,165
I have to take it to my mom's.
161
00:05:50,285 --> 00:05:51,738
She's gonna say that I
ruined it, and I did.
162
00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:52,906
But I don't want to look like I ruined it.
163
00:05:53,026 --> 00:05:54,754
And I need you to go to the
market and get me another turkey.
164
00:05:54,756 --> 00:05:56,191
Babe, you got to slow
down. I don't understand
165
00:05:56,311 --> 00:05:57,223
a word you're saying.
166
00:05:57,225 --> 00:05:59,392
She said you're done watching football.
167
00:05:59,394 --> 00:06:00,826
(And it's a few inches... )
168
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,162
Honey, the turkey needs
to be at least 16 pounds.
169
00:06:03,164 --> 00:06:04,964
And make sure there are no chemicals in it,
170
00:06:04,966 --> 00:06:06,332
unless it's the good kind of chemicals
171
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:07,566
that make me seem like a better cook.
172
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,968
Honey, I wrote it all down.
173
00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:10,703
I'm not a child.
174
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,238
What's wrong with being a child?
175
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,873
Nothing, honey, it's just that, you know,
176
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:16,509
kids tend to forget things.
177
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,546
Do you have the car keys?
178
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,248
Damn it. Hey,
179
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,283
tell you what, how about you run inside,
180
00:06:24,285 --> 00:06:26,452
get the car keys, and I'll time you.
181
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,254
How about I time you?
182
00:06:28,256 --> 00:06:31,257
Fine.
183
00:06:31,259 --> 00:06:33,292
Don't start counting
till I pass the bumper.
184
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,061
One Mississippi,
185
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:40,199
two Mississ... I'm just gonna
tell him it was two minutes.
186
00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:41,800
- (cheering)
- (marching band playing)
187
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,574
Aw, come on!
188
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:53,345
A Thanksgiving parade? Today?!
189
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:56,315
And every route to the
grocery store is blocked.
190
00:06:56,317 --> 00:06:57,749
Hey, there's a Mexican market
191
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,884
right here.
192
00:06:58,886 --> 00:06:59,851
It's where Pop-Pop gets
193
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,153
his margarita salt.
194
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,725
Oh! Check out these cherry boots!
195
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,193
What are these for?
196
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,594
(speaking Spanish)
197
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,462
Huh?
198
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,164
(speaking Spanish)
199
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,765
(scatting)
200
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,333
Dancing shoes.
201
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,135
Oh.
202
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:44,195
(chuckling): Yeah.
203
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,964
That isn't on the list.
204
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,390
Well, we need something
to carve the turkey.
205
00:07:48,798 --> 00:07:50,502
Hola. How can I helping you?
206
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,903
Uh, yeah, I need turkey.
207
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:55,139
And enough candy to fill
our jirafa piñata.
208
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,274
Aquí está.
209
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,676
Uh, no, no, a turkey.
210
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,078
Es un pavo chico.
211
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,046
He says it's a little turkey.
212
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,281
Oh.
213
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,983
Oh,
214
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,018
- Oh, oh. Are you okay?
- (grunts)
215
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,988
He loses his balance a lot.
216
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,522
Well, you know, I'm a... I'm a doctor.
217
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,458
Uh, El doctor-o...
218
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:14,258
Médico.
219
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,359
Médico.
220
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,527
Yeah, ear, nose, and throat.
221
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,429
- Ah.
- Ah.
222
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,231
- Little doctor.
- Ay.
223
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,800
Beg to differ.
224
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,169
Okay, I think I see the problem here.
225
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,505
Sir, would you mind lying
down on your back, please?
226
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,540
- Tu espalda.
- Uh-huh.
227
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,442
I'm going to do a procedure.
228
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,877
I'm going to roll your
head, and it's gonna loosen
229
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,412
the crystals in your ear canal.
230
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:35,579
You have, uh...
231
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,281
How do you say "vertigo"?
232
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,382
Vértigo.
233
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:39,183
Really?
234
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,051
Sí.
235
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,952
(chuckles) I speak Spanish.
236
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,689
Okay, rotate your head the other way.
237
00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:51,395
Daddy, I like that you can help people.
238
00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:53,464
Aw, thanks, sweetie.
You know, you helped, too.
239
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,233
You translated. Ooh,
don't touch that machete.
240
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,235
Yours is the little one.
241
00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:01,605
Do you think that Mom will be
mad that we didn't get a turkey?
242
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,641
You know, I think...
I think she'll be proud of us
243
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,909
because we helped somebody.
244
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,377
But maybe a little mad
245
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,312
because we didn't get a turkey.
246
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,581
But mostly mad because
we didn't get a turkey.
247
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,615
YOUNG MAN: Señor!
248
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,350
I have something for you.
249
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,918
Please, come.
250
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,720
Un momento.
251
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,656
Thank you. For you, you saved my father.
252
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:23,527
Oh. No, really, thank you, but
that's... it's not necessary.
253
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:24,595
Insto.
254
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:25,963
All right.
255
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:28,498
For you.
256
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,972
Hey. You're... Uh,
257
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:37,674
Hi. Hi, what's on your feet?
258
00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:39,209
Mexican dancing shoes.
259
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,611
Okay, please tell me that you got a turkey.
260
00:09:41,613 --> 00:09:43,814
Yep!
261
00:09:46,451 --> 00:09:47,684
- Oh.
- His name
262
00:09:47,686 --> 00:09:49,319
is Senator Gobbles.
263
00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:51,521
He's gonna sleep up in my room.
264
00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:53,123
Let's go, Senator Gobbles.
265
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,491
Come see your new room.
266
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:57,794
- (gobbling)
- Come on.
267
00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:59,462
There's a turkey in my house.
268
00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:02,198
I also got you a little turkey.
269
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,168
That's a chicken.
270
00:10:09,839 --> 00:10:12,175
Pretty sure you're wrong about that.
271
00:10:16,857 --> 00:10:18,348
Come on.
272
00:10:19,537 --> 00:10:20,665
JOHN: Oh, boy.
273
00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:23,173
_
274
00:10:23,504 --> 00:10:26,732
Hey there. Samantha excited
to go to the Harvest Festival?
275
00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:28,487
Well, she's not excited
about anything right now...
276
00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:30,977
that's not a 13-year-old
boy named Aiden.
277
00:10:30,979 --> 00:10:31,797
- But...
- Mm-hmm?
278
00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:32,572
if you're looking for
279
00:10:32,692 --> 00:10:36,215
a sulking, pouting 13-year-old,
well, Sam's your girl.
280
00:10:36,217 --> 00:10:37,306
Hey, Pop-Pop.
281
00:10:37,544 --> 00:10:39,034
Can't wait for the festival.
282
00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:41,734
Let's go. I already
changed the radio to FM.
283
00:10:41,854 --> 00:10:42,855
Mm.
284
00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:45,458
Seems fine to me.
285
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,293
Maybe you're the problem.
286
00:10:47,295 --> 00:10:48,928
Hey, keep an eye on her.
287
00:10:50,297 --> 00:10:52,198
WOMAN: You want to pet the goats?
288
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,633
Can we do the corn maze?
289
00:10:54,635 --> 00:10:57,002
Oh, I don't know about that.
290
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,138
Um, you know, when I was a kid,
291
00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:01,807
I had a bad experience in a corn maze.
292
00:11:01,809 --> 00:11:05,377
- You know what PTSD is?
- No.
293
00:11:05,379 --> 00:11:07,646
Well, it's when your
parents have so many kids,
294
00:11:07,648 --> 00:11:11,317
they forget they left one
in the corn maze, and, uh,
295
00:11:11,319 --> 00:11:14,119
it's getting dark, and
you wet your dungarees.
296
00:11:14,121 --> 00:11:16,055
- Dungarees?
- Pants.
297
00:11:22,462 --> 00:11:28,353
- Actually need to go to the bathroom.
- Okay.
298
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,489
(goat bleating)
299
00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:38,329
What the... ?
300
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,032
Come on.
301
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,501
(laughs)
302
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,671
Oh, boy.
303
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,942
Excuse me. Uh, can I ask you a favor?
304
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:54,045
My granddaughter just
went in there with a boy.
305
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,815
Uh, will you go in there and
make her come out right now?
306
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,118
I mean, drag her out if you have to.
307
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,887
Are you asking me if I will
approach a little white girl
308
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,922
in a corn maze and drag her out?
309
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:08,259
Because I can tell you
right now that's a bad idea.
310
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,628
Uh, yeah, that makes sense.
311
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,530
I love Thanksgiving.
312
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,633
Thanksgiving's like Halloween's girlfriend.
313
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,035
So you're like my Thanksgiving.
314
00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,471
(laughs)
315
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,107
(laughs)
316
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,745
It's just corn.
317
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,647
I love corn.
318
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:32,750
Corn is delicious.
319
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,487
Corn dogs, corn flakes.
320
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,823
Corn bread.
321
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:43,127
Uh, oh, uh... candy corn?
322
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,429
- (laughs)
- I won it by making a free throw.
323
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,465
Oh. (laughs)
324
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,366
That's good. (laughs)
325
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:51,468
I love vegetable candy.
326
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:54,104
I could always make another free throw.
327
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,706
- Really?
- Yeah, if you're still hungry.
328
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,141
Um, thanks.
329
00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,209
(laughs)
330
00:13:11,089 --> 00:13:12,689
- You're looking for the end?
- (gasps)
331
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:14,024
You're almost there.
332
00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:16,059
- But first beware... a few more...
- Shut up!
333
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:18,295
Did you see a little girl
go by here with a dorky kid?
334
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,265
All I see is birds and
hay, come back and ask...
335
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,901
- You're with me now! Come on.
- Ow! I'm not supposed to leave my zone!
336
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,570
- I'm losing my hay!
- You're helping me find my granddaughter.
337
00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:30,240
This is really fun. I'm glad we got to...
338
00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:34,923
- JOHN: Sam?
- Oh-oh.
339
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,317
Not cool.
340
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:38,353
AIDEN: Uh, y-you know,
341
00:13:38,355 --> 00:13:40,421
my mom's waiting for me in
the parking lot. I-I got to go.
342
00:13:40,423 --> 00:13:42,957
Okay.
343
00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:45,026
Well, I guess I know
344
00:13:45,028 --> 00:13:47,495
why you wanted to go to
the Harvest Festival, huh?
345
00:13:47,497 --> 00:13:49,030
I'm sorry, Pop-Pop.
346
00:13:49,032 --> 00:13:51,165
I shouldn't have gone in the maze.
347
00:13:53,902 --> 00:13:57,138
Boy, that must have been
some kind of kiss, hmm?
348
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,307
The way you were smiling.
349
00:13:59,309 --> 00:14:00,708
It was my first.
350
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:03,010
- (laughs)
- Huh?
351
00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:04,512
Wow.
352
00:14:04,514 --> 00:14:07,748
Well, it looks like your
first corn maze experience
353
00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:09,650
was a lot better than mine, huh?
354
00:14:09,652 --> 00:14:11,118
(both laugh)
355
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,853
That is unless you peed yourself.
356
00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:14,822
- I didn't, no.
- Ah.
357
00:14:14,824 --> 00:14:16,157
Didn't think so.
358
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,225
Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?
359
00:14:18,227 --> 00:14:20,494
No, I think the lifelong memory
360
00:14:20,496 --> 00:14:22,630
of your grandfather
interrupting your first kiss
361
00:14:22,632 --> 00:14:24,231
is punishment enough.
362
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:26,600
Huh?
363
00:14:26,602 --> 00:14:28,536
Pop-Pop?
364
00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:31,005
- Hmm?
- I don't know the way out.
365
00:14:31,007 --> 00:14:33,174
Oh, that's okay.
366
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,910
Uh,... I can get us out.
367
00:14:35,912 --> 00:14:39,013
I'm a pilot.
368
00:14:39,015 --> 00:14:40,147
Help! Mayday!
369
00:14:40,149 --> 00:14:42,216
- Help!
- Get us out of here!
370
00:14:42,218 --> 00:14:42,898
Help!
371
00:14:45,049 --> 00:14:46,276
COLLEEN: I was afraid
this might happen.
372
00:14:46,396 --> 00:14:48,204
- What's that?
- My cauliflower rice is delicious,
373
00:14:48,324 --> 00:14:51,848
but sometimes, it's a little more
than some people can handle.
374
00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:54,638
_
375
00:14:55,487 --> 00:14:57,121
Mmm. Mmm.
376
00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:58,205
- Sticky.
- Oh, sorry.
377
00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,136
So, first Thanksgiving with the family.
378
00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:00,917
- Yeah.
- How you feeling?
379
00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:02,627
Uh, good, confident.
380
00:15:03,213 --> 00:15:04,041
Not as confident as you
381
00:15:04,086 --> 00:15:05,830
to go with a peach cheek and a pink lip.
382
00:15:05,832 --> 00:15:08,599
(both laughing) So, who's he?
383
00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:10,778
Oh, that. That is Gary Timpkins.
384
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,761
He's our neighbor. He's
the head of the H.O.A.
385
00:15:12,881 --> 00:15:14,587
Apparently, me living in
the garage is a violation
386
00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:17,341
of, like, 20 codes, so my parents decided
to invite him to Thanksgiving
387
00:15:17,461 --> 00:15:19,197
- to butter him up.
- How did he find out?
388
00:15:19,479 --> 00:15:21,304
Um, apparently, I fell asleep
with the garage door open,
389
00:15:21,424 --> 00:15:22,785
and I mooned a school bus full of children.
390
00:15:22,829 --> 00:15:24,998
- (laughing): Oh.
- Happy Thanksgiving!
391
00:15:25,118 --> 00:15:26,585
Happy Thanksgiving!
392
00:15:26,705 --> 00:15:28,242
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.
393
00:15:28,286 --> 00:15:30,408
Oh, honey, can you get the
rest of that makeup off?
394
00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:31,915
- Yeah.
- Because, you know,
395
00:15:32,035 --> 00:15:34,330
Mr. Timpkin' wife just died.
396
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,825
And you look uncomfortably similar to her.
397
00:15:36,945 --> 00:15:39,597
Oh. Uh, you said not to bring anything,
398
00:15:39,599 --> 00:15:42,483
so I brought my famous cauliflower rice.
399
00:15:42,603 --> 00:15:44,869
Thank you for not listening to me.
400
00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:46,867
And don't go into my office,
401
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,806
'cause there's a live turkey in there.
402
00:15:48,926 --> 00:15:50,702
- Okay. What?
- Is that normal?
403
00:15:50,737 --> 00:15:54,184
It was given to Tim by a
Mexican grocer with vertigo.
404
00:15:55,881 --> 00:15:58,315
That's a lot of information.
405
00:15:58,317 --> 00:15:59,817
Boy, this...
406
00:15:59,819 --> 00:16:02,620
cauliflower rice is just a knockout.
407
00:16:02,622 --> 00:16:04,255
I'm so glad you go like it.
408
00:16:04,257 --> 00:16:07,424
- Is is my Grandma Tonita's recipe.
- Oh.
409
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:10,561
My wife was a... was a
great cook. She was a very
410
00:16:10,563 --> 00:16:11,929
formal woman. She always...
411
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:14,898
- always dressed for dinner.
- (stomach growling)
412
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,334
She, uh... she recently passed.
413
00:16:17,336 --> 00:16:19,636
- I think I need to go to the pie table.
- Huh.
414
00:16:19,638 --> 00:16:21,538
- JOHN: Tim.
- Oh.
415
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:24,675
- I was...
- Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry.
416
00:16:24,677 --> 00:16:25,876
GREG: Wow.
417
00:16:25,878 --> 00:16:28,278
- (groans softly)
- What was that?
418
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,581
- (exhales)
- That was so rude.
419
00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:32,549
(groans softly) Trust me, what I
was about to do at that table
420
00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:34,484
was gonna be a lot ruder and a lot louder.
421
00:16:34,486 --> 00:16:36,286
You can really tell when
it's gonna come out barking.
422
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,689
Gross. Can we please get
through one meal where you... ?
423
00:16:38,691 --> 00:16:40,457
Oh. Ooh. (stomach growling)
424
00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,059
(gasps softly)
425
00:16:42,061 --> 00:16:45,128
Great. Now you've given it to me.
426
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,464
Shh.
427
00:16:48,232 --> 00:16:52,068
(stomach growling)
428
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:54,304
I'm gonna go, uh, change the baby's,
429
00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:56,306
uh, diaper in the other room.
430
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:58,441
Oh, I just changed her. She's fine.
431
00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:00,510
Yeah, but I'm not so I'm gonna go change
432
00:17:00,512 --> 00:17:02,779
the baby's diaper in the other room.
433
00:17:02,781 --> 00:17:04,848
Oh, no. Is this our
wedding night all over again?
434
00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:07,784
Yeah, yeah, but I'm gonna try not to cry.
435
00:17:07,786 --> 00:17:09,753
(sighs)
436
00:17:09,755 --> 00:17:12,489
Was that you or me?
437
00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,824
I don't know,
438
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,594
but I'm worried about
whichever one of us it was.
439
00:17:17,596 --> 00:17:19,395
COLLEEN: Uh-oh.
440
00:17:19,397 --> 00:17:21,264
- I was afraid this might happen.
- What's that?
441
00:17:21,266 --> 00:17:24,833
My cauliflower rice is delicious,
but sometimes it's a little more
442
00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:26,302
- than some people can handle.
- Mm-hmm.
443
00:17:26,304 --> 00:17:28,438
(stomachs growling)
444
00:17:29,773 --> 00:17:31,612
Hi, guys. How you doing?
Is your dinner good?
445
00:17:31,732 --> 00:17:32,857
- Yeah, Heather.
- That's great. That's awesome.
446
00:17:32,977 --> 00:17:33,739
That's good.
447
00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,947
I'm gonna just... go have some...
448
00:17:39,249 --> 00:17:40,379
What was that all about?
449
00:17:40,423 --> 00:17:41,548
Gross, Tyler!
450
00:17:41,592 --> 00:17:43,416
- That wasn't me.
- TIM: Hey, guys.
451
00:17:43,536 --> 00:17:44,968
- Oh, hey.
- How's it going over here?
452
00:17:45,088 --> 00:17:46,756
- Oh, boy.
- How's your dinner? Just...
453
00:17:46,758 --> 00:17:48,791
(strained): checking in on you.
454
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,787
All right, good.
455
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:55,031
(coughs) Aw. I better not get pinkeye.
456
00:17:57,730 --> 00:18:00,936
You know, maybe now would be a
good time to go around the table
457
00:18:01,315 --> 00:18:04,209
and for each person to say
what they're thankful for,
458
00:18:04,329 --> 00:18:05,151
for this year.
459
00:18:05,179 --> 00:18:07,045
Honey, do you want to stand?
460
00:18:07,047 --> 00:18:08,747
Oh, I'm not... I'm, um...
461
00:18:08,749 --> 00:18:11,883
- I got a really good seal going here.
- Oh, sit.
462
00:18:11,885 --> 00:18:14,419
- Oh, absolutely sit.
- JOHN: Yeah. Anyway,
463
00:18:14,421 --> 00:18:17,022
great life, great family.
464
00:18:17,024 --> 00:18:20,285
Got some new boat shoes
I'm really excited about.
465
00:18:21,149 --> 00:18:22,694
Amen. Tim?
466
00:18:22,696 --> 00:18:26,209
Uh, family, new friends, and a
nice walk home in the fresh air.
467
00:18:26,329 --> 00:18:27,654
- Greg?
- Come back to me.
468
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,342
COLLEEN: Oh, I'll go.
469
00:18:28,386 --> 00:18:29,768
- Oh, no, no. No, baby.
- I'm really thankful to be...
470
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:30,969
No, no, no, no, no, time is pain.
471
00:18:30,971 --> 00:18:32,604
Yeah, that about covers everybody.
472
00:18:32,606 --> 00:18:35,331
Great meal, guys. See
you again next year, huh?
473
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,364
(loud, overlapping chatter)
474
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,422
Excuse me...
475
00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:41,323
I would,I-I-I, I would
like to say a few words
476
00:18:41,325 --> 00:18:42,657
- if you don't mind.
- Oh.
477
00:18:42,659 --> 00:18:45,764
- Oh.
- You know, this is my...
478
00:18:45,766 --> 00:18:48,066
This is my first
Thanksgiving without Helen.
479
00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:49,768
- Oh.
- You know, she was my...
480
00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:51,503
- my one and only.
- Mm-hmm.
481
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,171
I re... I really miss her.
482
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,039
I miss her, too. I miss her so much.
483
00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,342
- JEN: Wish she were back!
- COLLEEN: To Helen.
484
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,710
- Gone too soon. Gone too soon.
- Helen.
485
00:18:58,712 --> 00:19:00,545
- Way too soon.
- Yes, thank you.
486
00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:02,881
- But, you know, perhaps the best way to...
- (throat clearing)
487
00:19:02,883 --> 00:19:07,252
to honor her memory would
be a moment of silence.
488
00:19:07,254 --> 00:19:09,687
- HEATHER: Oh.
- She loved... silence.
489
00:19:09,689 --> 00:19:12,557
(groans)
490
00:19:12,559 --> 00:19:14,992
- Okay.
- (loud panting)
491
00:19:14,994 --> 00:19:17,395
Greg, be careful.
492
00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:19,430
That's what makes the baby come out.
493
00:19:19,432 --> 00:19:21,499
(muffled laughter)
494
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:22,500
Oh.
495
00:19:22,502 --> 00:19:23,701
(throat clearing)
496
00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:25,036
- Stop.
- I think I'm crowning.
497
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:28,206
(laughter)
498
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:37,268
You are the most insensitive
family I have ever met.
499
00:19:37,304 --> 00:19:38,141
No, no.
500
00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:41,170
- You are laughing at a grieving man.
- I'm not, I'm not, I'm really trying...
501
00:19:41,196 --> 00:19:41,986
(overlapping chatter) GARY: Oh, come on.
502
00:19:41,988 --> 00:19:43,849
I mean, you're mocking my loss.
503
00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:46,957
No. No, no, no, it's not that.
504
00:19:46,959 --> 00:19:48,292
- That's it.
- It's not that at all.
505
00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:49,693
Your son
506
00:19:49,695 --> 00:19:51,328
needs to be out of that garage
507
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,431
by the end of the week, or you'll be fined.
508
00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:54,552
Don't-don't do that.
509
00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:55,615
And I want to thank you
510
00:19:55,735 --> 00:19:59,537
for one very... uncomfortable evening.
511
00:19:59,539 --> 00:20:02,439
(farts loudly)
512
00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:05,643
Well, I bet he's comfortable now.
513
00:20:05,645 --> 00:20:09,213
(laughter)
514
00:20:11,182 --> 00:20:14,718
(indistinct, overlapping chatter)
515
00:20:15,305 --> 00:20:16,820
All right, Matt can stay in the garage.
516
00:20:16,822 --> 00:20:18,555
JOAN: Thank you.
517
00:20:18,557 --> 00:20:20,591
But if there are any more infractions,
518
00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:21,892
I'm gonna have to report you.
519
00:20:21,894 --> 00:20:22,823
(gobbling)
520
00:20:23,476 --> 00:20:24,313
Oh.
521
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:28,198
(gobbling)
522
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,534
Oh, well, that explains the smell.
523
00:20:35,058 --> 00:20:40,058
Synced and corrected by Octavia
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