1
00:00:05,041 --> 00:00:06,513
_

2
00:00:06,633 --> 00:00:09,209
I appreciate all the tableside
prep, but this is a lot of work.

3
00:00:09,211 --> 00:00:10,944
Yeah, you guys sure you don't
want to just go out to eat?

4
00:00:10,946 --> 00:00:13,079
- Ah, no. Come on.
- No. Who needs the hassle?

5
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,914
Look, we've got delicious food, you know?

6
00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:17,450
- Cold drinks.
- Good company.

7
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,052
Still afraid to leave
the baby with the sitter?

8
00:00:19,054 --> 00:00:20,787
GREG: Well, one of us is.

9
00:00:20,789 --> 00:00:22,522
I just, I don't... I
have a hard time believing

10
00:00:22,524 --> 00:00:24,791
anyone's gonna be as
careful as I am, you know?

11
00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:26,759
Oh. Uh-oh. Oh. Oh, gosh. Oh. Oh, no.

12
00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:29,129
- Oh, baby. Are you okay?
- I think I sliced my hand.

13
00:00:29,131 --> 00:00:30,020
- That's a lot of blood.
- Oh...

14
00:00:30,075 --> 00:00:30,912
Lot of blood there.

15
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:32,056
- Here you go.
- Thank you, thank you.

16
00:00:32,125 --> 00:00:32,748
- Thank you, thank you.
- Sorry.

17
00:00:32,868 --> 00:00:34,134
I'm very sorry, are you okay?

18
00:00:34,136 --> 00:00:35,173
JEN: Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

19
00:00:35,293 --> 00:00:36,608
- There's a lot of blood.
- Yeah.

20
00:00:36,728 --> 00:00:37,797
- What's happening with him?
- I don't know.

21
00:00:37,917 --> 00:00:39,228
- Is this a thing?
- You don't wanna know.

22
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,311
- Let's get you out of here.
- That'll help.

23
00:00:40,351 --> 00:00:41,641
-  Are you gonna puke?
- Let's get you to the hospital.

24
00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:43,042
He's really afraid of blood.

25
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,577
- It's gonna solve everything.
- Oh, no, no, we can't go.

26
00:00:44,579 --> 00:00:46,012
They'll be fine. You guys
can watch Lark, right?

27
00:00:46,014 --> 00:00:47,313
We're good. Yeah, you guys go.

28
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:48,615
Have you held a human baby before?

29
00:00:48,617 --> 00:00:49,682
You guys are gonna be okay.

30
00:00:49,684 --> 00:00:50,917
- Yeah, you go, you go.
- We're gonna be absolutely fine.

31
00:00:50,919 --> 00:00:51,551
They'll be fine, they'll be fine,

32
00:00:51,591 --> 00:00:52,602
- they'll be fine, they'll be fine.
- Okay. All right.

33
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:55,054
Seriously, just call me
if anything bad happens.

34
00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:56,456
- No problem, brother.
- Really?! With the chips?!

35
00:00:56,458 --> 00:00:57,824
I'm sorry. I'm not sure when

36
00:00:57,826 --> 00:00:59,225
we're gonna be able to eat again.

37
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,727
JEN: <i>I'm still waiting for stitches,</i>

38
00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:02,695
so if the baby wakes up,
just give her a bottle,

39
00:01:02,697 --> 00:01:05,036
lukewarm, splash it on your
face to test the temperature.

40
00:01:05,085 --> 00:01:06,854
I know most people say the
wrist, but that's wrong.

41
00:01:06,974 --> 00:01:08,543
Skin is too tough. Oh, you know what?

42
00:01:08,663 --> 00:01:10,703
I think I'm up next. I'm
gonna call you back, okay?

43
00:01:10,705 --> 00:01:12,205
Okay. Bye-bye.

44
00:01:12,207 --> 00:01:13,540
Bleeker?

45
00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:14,741
Mr. Bleeker?

46
00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:15,842
(groans)

47
00:01:15,844 --> 00:01:17,644
What is that? What is that?

48
00:01:17,646 --> 00:01:19,445
We were here way before
him. He's not even bleeding.

49
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,848
I heard him earlier; he said
he was having chest pains.

50
00:01:21,850 --> 00:01:24,083
He's fine. He just ate a bag of pork rinds.

51
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:26,152
(groans)

52
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,820
- (people gasping)
- Is he okay?

53
00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,722
He's up, he's up. He's living.

54
00:01:29,842 --> 00:01:31,124
He's living.

55
00:01:31,126 --> 00:01:33,526
And, you know, I think we're next, so...

56
00:01:34,017 --> 00:01:35,295
You think they forgot us?

57
00:01:35,297 --> 00:01:36,596
No, honey.

58
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:38,264
I'm gonna go ask.

59
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,266
- Oh, no, please don't do that.
- No, no, I'm just asking.

60
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,234
Don't do that.

61
00:01:41,236 --> 00:01:42,602
I'm just asking, and I'm so nice.

62
00:01:42,604 --> 00:01:44,404
People say I'm very
nice in these situations.

63
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,207
You know, I'm accommodating
as a person, and I just have

64
00:01:47,209 --> 00:01:49,442
an open heart and open energy.

65
00:01:49,444 --> 00:01:51,778
Hi. Excuse me.

66
00:01:51,898 --> 00:01:53,546
We will get to you when we get to you.

67
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:56,249
Oh, okay. Well, the thing is, I
just, I have a new baby at home.

68
00:01:56,251 --> 00:01:58,084
We will get to you when we get to you.

69
00:01:58,086 --> 00:02:00,353
So... when are you gonna get to me?

70
00:02:00,355 --> 00:02:02,555
(laughs) I'm just
kidding. Yeah. I got that.

71
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,757
All right, well, I'll just be over here.

72
00:02:08,263 --> 00:02:10,163
She does like me... it's just,

73
00:02:10,165 --> 00:02:12,398
she has a different way of showing it

74
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,967
at the moment.

75
00:02:13,969 --> 00:02:15,568
Okay, you know what?

76
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,770
Why don't we go for a
walk, get you out of here?

77
00:02:17,772 --> 00:02:19,639
You're starting to drive yourself crazy.

78
00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:20,907
Do you think I should text Matt

79
00:02:20,909 --> 00:02:22,108
and just make sure everything's okay?

80
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:23,810
Well... but I thought you already did that.

81
00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:25,245
I thought he said everything was fine.

82
00:02:25,247 --> 00:02:27,580
Well, he did text me
that everything was okay,

83
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,949
but he put a period instead
of an exclamation point,

84
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:31,684
and to me, that feels worrisome.

85
00:02:31,686 --> 00:02:34,020
Okay, you want to know what,
let's get out of here, okay?

86
00:02:34,022 --> 00:02:35,154
All right, come on.

87
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,156
Uh, excuse me, ma'am,
you have our cell phone.

88
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,391
We're just gonna...

89
00:02:38,393 --> 00:02:40,460
NURSE: We will get to
you when we get to you!

90
00:02:40,462 --> 00:02:42,228
Okay, great. Thank you so much.

91
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,364
So glad you two could finally meet.

92
00:02:44,366 --> 00:02:46,099
Let's walk around, okay?

93
00:02:46,101 --> 00:02:48,034
That doesn't look good,
what he's got going on.

94
00:02:48,036 --> 00:02:50,103
Yeah, well, he may have to go before you.

95
00:02:50,105 --> 00:02:53,740
"Art therapy helps patients
connect with emotions

96
00:02:53,742 --> 00:02:55,441
words cannot convey"

97
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:59,012
The main emotion here,
to me, seems to be...

98
00:02:59,014 --> 00:03:00,847
I broke both my hands.

99
00:03:00,849 --> 00:03:02,115
I mean, this here

100
00:03:02,117 --> 00:03:03,650
obviously is a meditation

101
00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,785
on the pain of living with flat feet.

102
00:03:05,787 --> 00:03:08,021
- It really just... cuts to the bone.
- Gets you right...

103
00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:09,979
- Yeah, right there, right?
- Gets you right there, doesn't it?

104
00:03:10,099 --> 00:03:10,940
- Yeah.
- That's what art does.

105
00:03:10,994 --> 00:03:12,061
-  I'm emotional.
-  It's the power of art.

106
00:03:12,395 --> 00:03:14,827
- How's the finger?
- Honestly, I'm just glad

107
00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:17,263
it wasn't the picker or
the flipper, you know?

108
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:19,132
I need those.

109
00:03:19,134 --> 00:03:22,335
Why would anybody complain
about hospital food?

110
00:03:22,337 --> 00:03:25,138
I mean, we got hot and cold and...

111
00:03:25,140 --> 00:03:26,773
creamy and crunchy

112
00:03:26,775 --> 00:03:29,475
all in one bite... I mean,
all the bases are covered.

113
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,778
Honestly, anyone who
doesn't like a tater tot

114
00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,346
isn't someone I want to know.

115
00:03:33,348 --> 00:03:34,547
Yeah.

116
00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:38,584
Hey. When's the last time
it was just the two of us?

117
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,486
Oh, God, I don't know.

118
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,121
- I like it.
- Yeah.

119
00:03:42,123 --> 00:03:43,656
It's kind of like we're on a date.

120
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,158
- It's kind of romantic.
- Yeah.

121
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,060
My diaper's full.

122
00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:50,563
Well...

123
00:03:50,565 --> 00:03:53,266
tonight, someone else changes the diapers.

124
00:03:53,268 --> 00:03:54,734
All right.

125
00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:56,869
Cheers to that.

126
00:03:56,871 --> 00:03:58,104
Okay.

127
00:03:58,106 --> 00:04:01,207
Do you want sweet, salty or nasal strip?

128
00:04:01,209 --> 00:04:04,010
Uh... let's let fate decide.

129
00:04:04,012 --> 00:04:07,280
- Oh, look who's changing.
- You know? What do you say?

130
00:04:07,282 --> 00:04:09,182
- Okay, ready?
- Yeah.

131
00:04:09,184 --> 00:04:10,817
(beeping)

132
00:04:13,021 --> 00:04:14,654
Shower cap?

133
00:04:14,656 --> 00:04:16,923
That's a burn.

134
00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,358
Please help me.

135
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,594
I feel like I'm sitting
in a casserole dish.

136
00:04:21,596 --> 00:04:24,097
I came in for a slight cough.

137
00:04:24,099 --> 00:04:26,733
How did this go downhill so quickly?

138
00:04:26,735 --> 00:04:29,035
Okay, that reminds me.

139
00:04:29,037 --> 00:04:31,738
You know, one day, I
am going to be that old,

140
00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:33,706
and I want you to promise me something.

141
00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:35,475
Yeah, I'll pull the plug, absolutely.

142
00:04:35,477 --> 00:04:37,944
- No, that was not...
- That wasn't where you were going?

143
00:04:37,946 --> 00:04:39,398
- That was not where I was going.
- (laughs): Oh, sorry.

144
00:04:39,449 --> 00:04:40,421
But that's good to know.

145
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:42,515
- It would be out of love.
- Yes, of course.

146
00:04:42,517 --> 00:04:44,951
You know, who wants to sit in a
casserole dish? Let's go again.

147
00:04:44,953 --> 00:04:46,252
- Let's just double up.
- Okay, ready?

148
00:04:46,254 --> 00:04:49,021
- All right, here we go.
- Five, six, seven, eight.

149
00:04:51,059 --> 00:04:53,126
Another shower cap?

150
00:04:54,095 --> 00:04:57,063
What is fate trying to tell us?

151
00:04:57,065 --> 00:04:58,765
I love how, like,

152
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:00,309
artsy and European it is, you know?

153
00:05:00,352 --> 00:05:01,885
Like, they don't just go
for the happy ending.

154
00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:03,030
Mm, so true.

155
00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,071
According to this, I've
had, like, eight strokes.

156
00:05:05,073 --> 00:05:06,672
- Mm.
- NURSE: Short?

157
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:09,409
Jennifer Short?

158
00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:11,811
I'm having such a good time, I hate to go.

159
00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:13,679
Yeah, me, too. Come on.

160
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,047
- NURSE: Ms. Short?
- Okay.

161
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:16,349
PARAMEDIC: Step aside,
please! Coming through!

162
00:05:16,351 --> 00:05:17,483
Multiple-car pileup!

163
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,118
We got more on the way.

164
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,219
(urgent chatter)

165
00:05:20,221 --> 00:05:21,921
So does that... are we...

166
00:05:21,923 --> 00:05:24,624
NURSE: We'll get to you when we get to you.

167
00:05:25,026 --> 00:05:27,226
(laughs)

168
00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:29,295
- Hey, you know what I heard?
- Hmm?

169
00:05:29,297 --> 00:05:30,496
There's a wheelchair basketball game

170
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,764
over in the physical therapy wing.

171
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:32,999
- Ooh, let's go.
- (chuckles)

172
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,133
I'll get your purse.

173
00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:36,969
- Oh, thanks, honey.
- Mm-hmm.

174
00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:40,373
Hey, have you heard from Matt and Colleen?

175
00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:42,041
Oh, yeah. Baby's fine.

176
00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,643
But Matt threw up.

177
00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:45,478
Hmm.

178
00:05:50,002 --> 00:05:51,502
_

179
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:54,190
MAN: You must be Heather.

180
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,555
Oh. Hi.

181
00:05:55,557 --> 00:05:56,923
You're... Steffan?

182
00:05:57,169 --> 00:05:59,225
Effan. The "S" and the "T" are silent.

183
00:05:59,227 --> 00:06:00,460
Oh.

184
00:06:00,462 --> 00:06:02,228
So, is this your first time posing

185
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:03,452
- in your underwear?
- Mm-hmm.

186
00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:07,633
All right, just do what feels
natural on a leopard skin bed.

187
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,168
Okay.

188
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:10,436
Oh, God, Brigitte Bardot, is that...

189
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,438
Oh. It's you. It's you.

190
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,240
Hi. Give me "hi."

191
00:06:14,242 --> 00:06:15,741
- Hi.
- Hello.

192
00:06:16,611 --> 00:06:18,578
Yeah, there you go. Tiger.

193
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:21,614
(both growling playfully)

194
00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:23,683
Wow, you're blowing my mind. I
can't believe you're not a pro.

195
00:06:23,685 --> 00:06:25,084
Are these for your husband?

196
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,319
Yeah, it's our anniversary in six weeks.

197
00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:27,987
These will be ready by then, right?

198
00:06:27,989 --> 00:06:29,222
Sure. Yeah.

199
00:06:29,224 --> 00:06:30,690
- _
- TIM: <i>Come on.</i>

200
00:06:30,692 --> 00:06:32,225
<i>Come on, come on, come on, come on.</i>

201
00:06:32,227 --> 00:06:33,359
What's this?

202
00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:34,894
Same day shipping?

203
00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:37,196
(laughs): Oh, don't mind if I do.

204
00:06:37,198 --> 00:06:39,398
Do mind if I don't.

205
00:06:41,336 --> 00:06:43,503
No one's here for the good ones.

206
00:06:43,505 --> 00:06:45,204
(slurps) Mmm.

207
00:06:45,206 --> 00:06:46,739
One of these. That'll do it.

208
00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:48,574
<i>Happy anniversary, babe.</i>

209
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,109
Thank you.

210
00:06:50,111 --> 00:06:52,211
Okay. What did you get?

211
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,782
Bible Chess.

212
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,985
Yeah. It's a... it's a
board game for the family.

213
00:06:58,987 --> 00:07:00,620
I don't know how to play it yet,

214
00:07:00,622 --> 00:07:02,421
but it had a ton of five star reviews.

215
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,857
Patsy from Arkansas
called it "a real hoot."

216
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,392
Wow. Okay.

217
00:07:06,394 --> 00:07:08,628
Well... thank you.

218
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:09,896
Mm-hmm.

219
00:07:09,898 --> 00:07:11,330
- Mm...
- Oh, yeah.

220
00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:13,466
Okay.

221
00:07:13,468 --> 00:07:17,036
Um... I have something for you, too.

222
00:07:17,038 --> 00:07:18,738
Oh!

223
00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:19,972
Cool wrapping.

224
00:07:19,974 --> 00:07:21,774
That's fabric from my wedding dress.

225
00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:22,808
Okay.

226
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:25,778
A book?

227
00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:27,380
What in the world?

228
00:07:27,382 --> 00:07:29,749
- Open it up.
- Ah...

229
00:07:32,654 --> 00:07:35,988
(laughing)

230
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:38,257
This is hilarious!

231
00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:39,492
Hilarious?

232
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,196
- Hilariously... sexy.
- Ah.

233
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:47,466
- And hot and not funny at all.
- Mm.

234
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:48,668
- Yeah, too late.
- No, wait!

235
00:07:48,670 --> 00:07:49,936
No, you caught me off guard!

236
00:07:49,938 --> 00:07:51,203
I was like, I thought maybe it was a gag,

237
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,306
like that time you texted me your boobs.

238
00:07:53,308 --> 00:07:54,974
That wasn't a gag!

239
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:59,211
Do you know what I did
to make that for you?

240
00:07:59,213 --> 00:08:02,381
I went to the gym every day for two weeks.

241
00:08:02,383 --> 00:08:07,320
I waxed myself until I
was hairless as an egg.

242
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,523
I had things bleached.

243
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,025
I literally exposed myself for you,

244
00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:14,594
and all you do is click a button.

245
00:08:14,596 --> 00:08:16,529
No, Heather, look, you know
I'm no good at presents.

246
00:08:16,531 --> 00:08:17,763
It's just not my thing.

247
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,565
Well, make it your thing.

248
00:08:32,614 --> 00:08:34,614
- Hello, Tim.
- Whoa!

249
00:08:34,616 --> 00:08:36,515
Heather said she found my sunglasses.

250
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:39,185
Oh, yeah.

251
00:08:40,922 --> 00:08:42,655
Oh, it's 'cause they got
a little baby oil on there.

252
00:08:42,657 --> 00:08:44,156
That'll come right off.

253
00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:49,895
So, you're not gonna ask me
why I'm dressed like this?

254
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:50,830
No. No, I'm not.

255
00:08:50,832 --> 00:08:54,600
So this... seems normal to you?

256
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,969
- Didn't say that.
- Okay.

257
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:59,305
Look, as long as you're
here, can you help me, please?

258
00:08:59,365 --> 00:08:59,806
Hmm.

259
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,705
I'm trying to get a flattering
picture of my butt,

260
00:09:01,756 --> 00:09:02,942
and I just can't find the right angle.

261
00:09:02,944 --> 00:09:04,977
I think I'm just being too hard on myself.

262
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,779
- You're not.
- Look, please?

263
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,453
This is the only thing I can do

264
00:09:08,498 --> 00:09:09,649
to make things right with your sister.

265
00:09:09,651 --> 00:09:11,283
Oh, Tim, I don't know what you did wrong,

266
00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:13,919
but I can guarantee you
that this is not the fix.

267
00:09:14,889 --> 00:09:17,657
I called her naked body "hilarious"

268
00:09:17,659 --> 00:09:19,725
I'm gonna miss you.

269
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:23,229
I will give you $200.

270
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:24,997
Okay, bend over. (clears throat)

271
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,866
♪ Freeze frame... ♪

272
00:09:26,868 --> 00:09:28,434
Awesome. Awesome.

273
00:09:29,437 --> 00:09:31,871
♪ Now I'm lookin' at
a flashback Sunday ♪

274
00:09:31,873 --> 00:09:35,107
♪ Zoom lens feelings
just won't disappear ♪

275
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:37,309
♪ Do, do, loo-da, la ♪

276
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:39,612
♪ This freeze-frame moment ♪

277
00:09:39,614 --> 00:09:42,448
♪ Can't be wrong ♪

278
00:09:44,686 --> 00:09:46,152
♪<i> Freeze frame</i> ♪
♪ Freeze frame ♪

279
00:09:46,154 --> 00:09:47,319
♪<i> Freeze frame</i> ♪
♪ Freeze frame ♪

280
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,654
♪<i> Freeze frame</i> ♪
♪ Freeze frame ♪

281
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,022
♪<i> Freeze frame, whoo!</i> ♪

282
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,658
♪ Now freeze... ♪

283
00:09:53,094 --> 00:09:55,294
MATT: It's okay.

284
00:09:55,296 --> 00:09:56,462
He's paying me.

285
00:10:01,803 --> 00:10:04,570
♪ Shoop, shoop, do, do, loo-da, la ♪

286
00:10:04,572 --> 00:10:07,506
♪ Freeze frame. ♪

287
00:10:13,147 --> 00:10:14,447
What's that?

288
00:10:14,449 --> 00:10:16,615
Nothing. Just an apology.

289
00:10:19,253 --> 00:10:21,420
(clears throat)

290
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,063
That is sexy.

291
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,231
It's okay, you can laugh.

292
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:34,934
Wow! You're my chunk of burnin' love.

293
00:10:34,936 --> 00:10:36,535
I was there. You don't
have to show it to me.

294
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:38,504
Well, oh, my... look at you there.

295
00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:39,538
Oh, my...

296
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:40,906
(laughs)

297
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,109
It's, uh...

298
00:10:43,111 --> 00:10:44,810
- Oh, that's not our anniversary.
- I know.

299
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:48,013
I-I marked it six weeks
out so I could plan ahead.

300
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,415
And then this is...

301
00:10:49,417 --> 00:10:51,250
four weeks, for when I keep putting it off

302
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:52,852
because it's six weeks away.

303
00:10:54,789 --> 00:10:56,889
That is incredibly sweet.

304
00:10:56,891 --> 00:10:59,725
I'm sorry I laughed at your book.

305
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,994
You are the most beautiful
woman in the world,

306
00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:03,596
and I am not worthy of you.

307
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:05,011
Well...

308
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,800
that is absolutely true.

309
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:10,436
Come here.

310
00:11:10,438 --> 00:11:12,838
Give me a big kiss.

311
00:11:13,962 --> 00:11:15,641
Who took these for you?

312
00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:19,011
I'm gonna need as many copies
of this as I can get for $200.

313
00:11:19,935 --> 00:11:21,635
_

314
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,121
SOPHIA: <i>I'm gonna write
all the swears I know.</i>

315
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,990
<i>"Boogers.</i>

316
00:11:30,992 --> 00:11:32,424
<i>Bum."</i>

317
00:11:35,148 --> 00:11:36,848
_

318
00:11:36,892 --> 00:11:38,333
HEATHER:<i> Listen, young
lady, we do not use</i>

319
00:11:38,376 --> 00:11:39,580
language like that in this house.

320
00:11:39,634 --> 00:11:40,552
I want you to go in your room.

321
00:11:40,613 --> 00:11:41,680
You are on a time-out.

322
00:11:41,682 --> 00:11:43,878
- Fine!
- Fine!

323
00:11:43,998 --> 00:11:46,418
Your party's gonna fall apart without me.

324
00:11:46,661 --> 00:11:48,954
I'm the one with the best stories.

325
00:11:48,956 --> 00:11:50,288
Hey. Just so you know?

326
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,090
Every time you talk, it starts over.

327
00:11:52,092 --> 00:11:55,093
Fine. Then I'll say one last thing.

328
00:11:55,213 --> 00:11:57,495
This... sucks!

329
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,633
(groans angrily)

330
00:12:04,509 --> 00:12:05,648
Sorry, Franklin.

331
00:12:06,266 --> 00:12:08,139
You didn't deserve that.

332
00:12:12,045 --> 00:12:14,179
<i>Why do I always get in trouble?</i>

333
00:12:14,181 --> 00:12:16,781
<i>Mom and Dad use that
word all the time.</i>

334
00:12:16,783 --> 00:12:18,450
<i>I'm just gonna say it.</i>

335
00:12:18,452 --> 00:12:19,918
Ass.

336
00:12:24,658 --> 00:12:26,725
<i>How do I not have a Minion toy?</i>

337
00:12:26,727 --> 00:12:29,227
<i>There's nothing to do in here.</i>

338
00:12:29,229 --> 00:12:33,031
<i>When I'm older, I'm gonna
have three TVs in my room</i>

339
00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:35,233
<i>and my bed's just gonna
be a giant remote,</i>

340
00:12:35,235 --> 00:12:38,470
<i>so when I roll over,
it changes channels.</i>

341
00:12:38,472 --> 00:12:40,605
<i>And Mom is gonna be my maid,</i>

342
00:12:40,607 --> 00:12:43,241
<i>and Samantha's gonna
live in the toilet.</i>

343
00:12:48,982 --> 00:12:50,915
SAMANTHA: I still had them in there,

344
00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:52,817
and, yeah, Mom was going, "Go"

345
00:12:52,819 --> 00:12:54,519
I didn't like the orange one...

346
00:12:54,521 --> 00:12:56,254
SOPHIA: <i>Look at her down there.</i>

347
00:12:56,256 --> 00:12:59,124
<i>Smiling, like she doesn't
belong in the toilet.</i>

348
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:02,394
<i>I know she says a lot
worse than what I said</i>

349
00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:04,262
<i>when she's in her
room with her friends.</i>

350
00:13:04,264 --> 00:13:08,099
<i>I wish she'd let me hang out
in her room with her friends.</i>

351
00:13:09,213 --> 00:13:11,770
SOPHIA: (gasps)<i> He saw me!</i>

352
00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:17,409
(exhales)

353
00:13:17,411 --> 00:13:20,078
<i>I know. I can go to Narnia.</i>

354
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,647
<i>Or like that new kid who
moved from Boston says,</i>

355
00:13:22,649 --> 00:13:24,849
(Boston accent): <i>"Nahnia."</i>

356
00:13:24,851 --> 00:13:26,384
<i>What a dummy!</i>

357
00:13:26,386 --> 00:13:28,420
<i>Aw.</i>

358
00:13:28,422 --> 00:13:30,055
<i>There's never a magical
world in your closet</i>

359
00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:31,623
<i>when you need one.</i>

360
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,993
(knocking at door)

361
00:13:36,563 --> 00:13:37,796
Hey.

362
00:13:37,798 --> 00:13:39,097
Brought you a hot dog.

363
00:13:39,099 --> 00:13:41,266
I'm on a hunger strike.

364
00:13:42,102 --> 00:13:44,235
<i>I really want that hot dog.</i>

365
00:13:44,237 --> 00:13:47,739
You know, Sophia, being a kid is hard.

366
00:13:47,741 --> 00:13:49,908
But someday, you're gonna
realize that Mom and Dad...

367
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:51,543
SOPHIA: <i>Blah, blah, blah.</i>

368
00:13:51,545 --> 00:13:54,913
<i>"I'm Tyler. I have red hair. I can drive.</i>

369
00:13:54,915 --> 00:13:58,216
<i>I can do whatever I want
because I'm a teenager."</i>

370
00:13:58,218 --> 00:14:01,186
<i>I wish my lips were as red as his.</i>

371
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:03,888
<i>At least until Mom lets me wear lipstick.</i>

372
00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:05,690
So do you understand what I'm saying?

373
00:14:05,692 --> 00:14:06,491
<i>No.</i>

374
00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:07,325
Yes.

375
00:14:07,327 --> 00:14:09,194
Good talk, kid.

376
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,862
<i>I'll eat this later,</i>

377
00:14:10,864 --> 00:14:13,231
<i>and I won't brush my teeth after.</i>

378
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,333
<i>And all the other moms are gonna say,</i>

379
00:14:15,335 --> 00:14:17,435
<i>"Oh, you're such a bad mother</i>

380
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:20,505
<i>for letting your daughter
have green teeth."</i>

381
00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:23,374
<i>I'm gonna write all the swears I know.</i>

382
00:14:25,011 --> 00:14:28,513
<i>"Boogers.</i>

383
00:14:28,515 --> 00:14:30,215
<i>Bum."</i>

384
00:14:31,084 --> 00:14:32,884
<i>And the F-word:</i>

385
00:14:32,886 --> 00:14:34,819
<i>"fart."</i>

386
00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:36,888
<i>I better destroy the evidence.</i>

387
00:14:44,598 --> 00:14:45,997
<i>When are we getting a dog?</i>

388
00:14:45,999 --> 00:14:47,265
(knocking at door)

389
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:49,467
Hey.

390
00:14:55,876 --> 00:14:57,876
What do you think? Did
you learn your lesson?

391
00:14:57,878 --> 00:14:59,944
SOPHIA: <i>Am I allowed to talk?</i>

392
00:15:00,601 --> 00:15:02,113
You're allowed to talk now.

393
00:15:02,115 --> 00:15:03,074
<i>Whoa.</i>

394
00:15:04,063 --> 00:15:06,242
It stinks being the youngest one.

395
00:15:06,454 --> 00:15:08,397
I can't do what everybody else does,

396
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,606
I can't say what everybody else says.

397
00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:12,824
It's asinine.

398
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:15,393
Can I say that?

399
00:15:16,276 --> 00:15:17,212
You know what?

400
00:15:18,064 --> 00:15:19,764
Tyler and Samantha had the same rules

401
00:15:19,766 --> 00:15:21,166
when they were your age.

402
00:15:21,168 --> 00:15:22,767
You just don't remember, that's all.

403
00:15:24,004 --> 00:15:25,436
What are you drawing there?

404
00:15:25,438 --> 00:15:27,405
(chuckles) <i>It's a fart tree.</i>

405
00:15:27,407 --> 00:15:28,973
I drew it for you.

406
00:15:28,975 --> 00:15:30,475
To say I'm sorry.

407
00:15:30,477 --> 00:15:32,343
<i>I really am sorry.</i>

408
00:15:32,345 --> 00:15:35,079
Honey, I love you so much.

409
00:15:35,081 --> 00:15:37,615
Do you know what? I
saved you a piece of cake.

410
00:15:37,617 --> 00:15:38,983
I saved you a corner piece,

411
00:15:38,985 --> 00:15:40,518
because I know how much
you love the frosting.

412
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,120
<i>I hope there's a flower on it.</i>

413
00:15:42,122 --> 00:15:43,555
There's even a flower on it.

414
00:15:43,557 --> 00:15:45,123
<i>This is getting creepy.</i>

415
00:15:45,125 --> 00:15:46,724
All right. So what do you think?

416
00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:48,092
Think you can go back
downstairs, watch your language?

417
00:15:48,094 --> 00:15:49,194
Yes.

418
00:15:49,196 --> 00:15:51,563
All right, good. Let's go.

419
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:56,167
<i>But I just need to
say it one more time.</i>

420
00:15:56,169 --> 00:15:57,535
<i>Ass.</i>

421
00:15:57,537 --> 00:15:59,003
<i>Okay. Two more times.</i>

422
00:15:59,005 --> 00:16:00,438
<i>Ass.</i>

423
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:04,108
♪<i> Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass!</i> ♪

424
00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:08,580
There's a guy, there's a
guy... Right there. Get that...

425
00:16:08,582 --> 00:16:09,747
Ah, you got him!

426
00:16:09,749 --> 00:16:11,382
Eat that, turkeys!

427
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,806
_

428
00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:19,610
Welcome to Namaste Noshery.

429
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:20,513
Good afternoon.

430
00:16:20,633 --> 00:16:22,813
We would like your finest table.

431
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,182
Tell me what you value in a table.

432
00:16:25,753 --> 00:16:28,418
Uh... four legs and a place to sit?

433
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,053
(girls giggle)

434
00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:33,730
"Fragility, Abundance, Joy, Chagrin"

435
00:16:33,850 --> 00:16:34,949
What is this baloney?

436
00:16:35,069 --> 00:16:37,276
All the dishes here are
named after feelings.

437
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:38,758
Oh, my sister would love this place.

438
00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:40,498
She eats her feelings all day long.

439
00:16:40,618 --> 00:16:42,547
Hi, there. Would you guys like to start off

440
00:16:42,591 --> 00:16:44,434
with an order of Tranquility,

441
00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:47,103
or perhaps a side of Black Beans Matter?

442
00:16:47,105 --> 00:16:50,419
We'll take whatever three
pepperoni pizzas feels like,

443
00:16:50,483 --> 00:16:52,943
and if there's a Mai Tai
hanging around back there,

444
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,411
tell it I'm looking for it.

445
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:55,712
(chuckles)

446
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,603
Okay.

447
00:16:57,723 --> 00:17:00,684
Three Generosities with cashew cheese.

448
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:04,754
And the question of the day
is: "What are you grateful for?"

449
00:17:04,756 --> 00:17:07,157
I'm grateful there's a
hamburger joint on the way home.

450
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,159
(chuckles)

451
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:11,895
She's a dud.

452
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,663
I'm grateful for you, Pop-Pop.

453
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:16,132
I'm glad you started taking
us to riding every week

454
00:17:16,134 --> 00:17:17,534
while Mom's at yoga.

455
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:18,475
SOPHIA: Yeah, Pop-Pop.

456
00:17:18,526 --> 00:17:20,329
And I'm grateful that you never tell us

457
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,305
you're too busy to spend time with us.

458
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:23,540
Aw, Soph.

459
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,642
(sniffles)

460
00:17:26,281 --> 00:17:28,311
I'm grateful for that, too.

461
00:17:29,343 --> 00:17:31,681
You two girls look so much like your mama

462
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:32,949
when she was young.

463
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:34,199
Are you okay, Pop-Pop?

464
00:17:34,993 --> 00:17:35,785
Oh, yeah.

465
00:17:35,787 --> 00:17:39,222
(chuckles): I'm just feeling
a couple of the appetizers.

466
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,858
Yeah, I started crying,

467
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:43,727
and so they rang a bell.

468
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,528
I got a free dessert.

469
00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:47,597
It was all so very confusing.

470
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,499
You know, the girls took me there once,

471
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:52,569
and that's why I started
carrying bacon in my purse.

472
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,538
Look at all these pictures,
and I'm hardly in any of them.

473
00:17:56,061 --> 00:17:58,174
I missed so much when the kids were young.

474
00:17:58,176 --> 00:18:00,043
You were flying all over the world,

475
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:01,478
providing for your family.

476
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,380
Yeah. I could've done more.

477
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:05,615
Like one of my copilots, Roger.

478
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,916
- You remember Roger.
- Yeah.

479
00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:08,518
He had this wonderful family

480
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,654
and then this secret family in Paris,

481
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,522
and he was such a great dad to both.

482
00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,724
Yeah, that was an awkward funeral.

483
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:16,544
I was a lousy father.

484
00:18:16,902 --> 00:18:19,524
Worse than that guy in the
"Cat's Got the Cable" song.

485
00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:21,535
- You were a great dad.
- Mm-mm.

486
00:18:22,005 --> 00:18:24,047
And you don't have to
log any more flights now.

487
00:18:24,282 --> 00:18:25,502
You've got time.

488
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,570
Go for it.

489
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,008
- There's a guy, there's a guy...
- Yep.

490
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,144
Right there. Get that... Ah, you got him!

491
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,078
(laughs)

492
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,513
Eat that, turkeys!

493
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,348
Oh, sorry, Wellesley; that's my dad.

494
00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:40,018
(chuckles) No, I'm not gonna tell him

495
00:18:40,138 --> 00:18:42,385
- that you said that, but...
- What?

496
00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:44,087
- No, Dad, Dad, no!
- Hey, who is this?

497
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:47,991
And that's how Teddy
Tinkle went number one.

498
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:49,192
(whispers): She's asleep.

499
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,894
She is<i> so</i> cute!

500
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,462
(crying)

501
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,797
All right.

502
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,065
You have a good night's sleep.

503
00:18:57,836 --> 00:18:59,135
Look at her.

504
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,603
That's my daughter Heather.

505
00:19:00,605 --> 00:19:02,439
Look at her... doing that warrior pose.

506
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:05,408
Check it out, huh? (chuckles) Good, baby.

507
00:19:08,813 --> 00:19:10,229
Oh, Mom, hey.

508
00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:11,794
You got to say something to Dad.

509
00:19:11,914 --> 00:19:14,140
Yeah, it was really sweet
at first, but, you know,

510
00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:15,837
Now it's starting to get out of control.

511
00:19:15,957 --> 00:19:18,070
He wanted to watch me jump
rope. It got really weird.

512
00:19:18,072 --> 00:19:19,350
He took me to the Dodger game,

513
00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:21,207
and he wanted to hold
my hand the whole time.

514
00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:22,924
- JOAN: Oh, I know...
- He keeps tousling my hair,

515
00:19:22,971 --> 00:19:24,327
and this takes a lot of work.

516
00:19:24,447 --> 00:19:26,545
I know, I know. I saw this coming.

517
00:19:26,547 --> 00:19:29,181
He just wants to know
that you appreciate him.

518
00:19:29,183 --> 00:19:30,517
- Well...
- We do.

519
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,502
Yeah, well, so... this is what you do.

520
00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:35,765
You give him this, and it will stop.

521
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:39,835
- (snickers)
- Seriously?

522
00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:40,530
Trust me.

523
00:19:40,650 --> 00:19:43,066
I'm Jane Goodall and your father is my ape.

524
00:19:44,508 --> 00:19:45,264
All right.

525
00:19:45,266 --> 00:19:47,266
(clears throat)

526
00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:52,210
What... you got to be kidding.

527
00:19:56,115 --> 00:19:57,993
You really think I'm the
world's greatest dad?

528
00:19:57,995 --> 00:19:59,362
We really do.

529
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,530
- Yeah, man, you're the best.
- We love you.

530
00:20:02,186 --> 00:20:03,582
Well...

531
00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:06,085
I-I think you're the world's...

532
00:20:06,087 --> 00:20:07,753
greatest kids.

533
00:20:10,312 --> 00:20:12,198
How did you know that that would work?

534
00:20:17,076 --> 00:20:19,925
Joan: Life is complicated.
Your father's not.

535
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,752
- HEATHER: You're a genius.
- (Joan laughs)

536
00:20:22,769 --> 00:20:24,087
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -