1
00:00:04,887 --> 00:00:06,687
_

2
00:00:07,142 --> 00:00:08,708
(laughing): No, it's...

3
00:00:08,710 --> 00:00:10,376
what are you...

4
00:00:10,649 --> 00:00:12,078
this is nice, isn't it?

5
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,546
You know, walking home from dinner?

6
00:00:13,548 --> 00:00:14,947
We should do this more often.

7
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:16,249
Yeah.

8
00:00:16,251 --> 00:00:17,550
Or we could just drink less.

9
00:00:17,552 --> 00:00:19,085
Then we can drive home.

10
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,553
True. Hey, look at this.

11
00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:22,422
Tyler's school.

12
00:00:22,424 --> 00:00:24,190
- Oh...
- It's a nice place to just

13
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,707
sit and do nothing, huh?

14
00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:26,910
- God knows that's all Tyler
- Yeah.

15
00:00:26,929 --> 00:00:28,248
- ever does, come on!
- (laughing)

16
00:00:29,274 --> 00:00:30,897
Hey, I'm, uh,

17
00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:33,000
I'm pretty funny when I'm buzzed.

18
00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:34,066
You are.

19
00:00:34,272 --> 00:00:35,845
(sighs) And tired.

20
00:00:35,965 --> 00:00:37,837
We've only walked two blocks.

21
00:00:37,957 --> 00:00:38,375
Well...

22
00:00:40,122 --> 00:00:41,941
(laughs) You know, when
I was in high school,

23
00:00:41,943 --> 00:00:44,644
we used to rearrange the letters
on these signs all the time.

24
00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:45,878
It was a classic prank.

25
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,546
Oh, we did that, too!

26
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,219
BOTH: Yeah.

27
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:54,954
Yeah!

28
00:00:56,698 --> 00:00:58,162
(door closes)

29
00:00:59,055 --> 00:00:59,629
HEATHER: Hey!

30
00:00:59,749 --> 00:01:00,285
Hey.

31
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,761
Hey, buddy. How was school today?

32
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,864
Anything, uh, classic happen?

33
00:01:04,866 --> 00:01:06,165
No.

34
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,067
But someone messed with our marquee.

35
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,336
- Oh...
- They changed "Freshman Elections"

36
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:12,037
to "Fleshman Erections."

37
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,205
(both laughing)

38
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,373
What's so funny?

39
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,975
The school canceled our senior trip.

40
00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:17,176
Wait, wait, wait... what?

41
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,028
Yeah, they have

42
00:01:18,052 --> 00:01:19,712
a zero tolerance policy on vandalism.

43
00:01:19,714 --> 00:01:20,946
The cops are looking into it.

44
00:01:21,066 --> 00:01:21,522
Ooh.

45
00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:22,954
For switching around a couple letters?

46
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,577
What...? What are they arresting

47
00:01:24,579 --> 00:01:26,967
people for doing crossword
puzzles over there now... what?

48
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,561
Because of the nature of the message,

49
00:01:28,605 --> 00:01:30,433
they're actually
considering it a sex crime.

50
00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:32,005
- Ooh!
- Ah! Wow!

51
00:01:32,007 --> 00:01:33,573
Wow, that is...

52
00:01:33,575 --> 00:01:35,342
I mean, that, that is

53
00:01:35,870 --> 00:01:37,310
right out of left field.

54
00:01:37,312 --> 00:01:39,362
Yeah, well, until someone confesses,

55
00:01:39,409 --> 00:01:40,847
the senior trip is off.

56
00:01:40,849 --> 00:01:43,071
And Clementine was saying
there was a chance we'd s...

57
00:01:43,994 --> 00:01:45,081
ski together.

58
00:01:45,576 --> 00:01:46,648
I thought you were going to Hoover Dam.

59
00:01:50,366 --> 00:01:52,292
Do you think they've
skied together before?

60
00:01:53,103 --> 00:01:53,593
I don't know.

61
00:01:53,595 --> 00:01:54,961
I bet she's a great skier, though.

62
00:01:54,963 --> 00:01:56,529
Oh, God, please don't say that.

63
00:01:56,531 --> 00:01:58,665
WOMAN: <i>You're Tyler's
parents, right?</i>

64
00:01:58,667 --> 00:01:59,478
How can I help you?

65
00:01:59,598 --> 00:02:00,967
Uh... well, we wanted

66
00:02:00,969 --> 00:02:03,118
to come down here and talk to you

67
00:02:03,142 --> 00:02:04,871
about the vandalized sign.

68
00:02:04,873 --> 00:02:07,607
Ah, yes, we've received many complaints.

69
00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:09,653
And some compliments, too, right?

70
00:02:09,689 --> 00:02:11,744
I mean, you have to admit
it was pretty classic.

71
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,615
- I found it vulgar.
- And vulgar.

72
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,310
And due to its sophomoric nature,

73
00:02:15,328 --> 00:02:16,983
we're certain it's a junior or senior.

74
00:02:17,668 --> 00:02:18,818
Okay, well, uh,

75
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,720
actually it-it was us.

76
00:02:21,091 --> 00:02:22,589
We did it and we are

77
00:02:22,849 --> 00:02:24,123
really sorry.

78
00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:26,636
We thought we should
come down here and confess

79
00:02:26,661 --> 00:02:29,061
so that the senior trip
can go ahead as planned.

80
00:02:29,063 --> 00:02:31,898
You're saying that you
rearranged the sign?

81
00:02:32,144 --> 00:02:34,501
We were a little tipsy
coming home from dinner, so...

82
00:02:34,577 --> 00:02:37,370
No, he was tipsy. I only had four.

83
00:02:37,932 --> 00:02:38,709
I see.

84
00:02:39,895 --> 00:02:41,954
Well, thank you for bringing
this to my attention.

85
00:02:41,988 --> 00:02:43,893
I mean, we also, we
just thought we wanted

86
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,722
to come down and model good behavior.

87
00:02:45,942 --> 00:02:47,413
- Right.
- I mean, to-today!

88
00:02:47,415 --> 00:02:48,848
We weren't before, but we...

89
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,816
Okay, well, I have other
things to get to, so...

90
00:02:50,818 --> 00:02:51,537
Right. Yeah.

91
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:53,219
Thank you for having us.

92
00:02:53,221 --> 00:02:54,687
(door closes)

93
00:02:56,526 --> 00:02:57,823
They think I did it.

94
00:02:58,529 --> 00:02:59,425
- What?
- Yeah.

95
00:02:59,427 --> 00:03:01,727
Everyone can go on the
senior trip now, but me.

96
00:03:02,186 --> 00:03:02,962
Principal Bundy said

97
00:03:02,964 --> 00:03:04,574
that you two came in to confess,

98
00:03:04,694 --> 00:03:05,865
which means that I did it,

99
00:03:05,867 --> 00:03:08,534
because no adult would
do something so stupid.

100
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:09,702
- It wasn't stupid.
- Hey.

101
00:03:09,704 --> 00:03:12,071
- It was classic.
- Thank you.

102
00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:13,937
Oh, my God.

103
00:03:14,371 --> 00:03:14,940
You did do it.

104
00:03:14,942 --> 00:03:16,375
What were you guys thinking?

105
00:03:17,383 --> 00:03:18,110
I don't know.

106
00:03:18,112 --> 00:03:19,311
(mumbles): "I don't know."

107
00:03:19,313 --> 00:03:20,279
That-that's really your answer?

108
00:03:20,281 --> 00:03:21,729
Are-are-are you mad at us?

109
00:03:22,164 --> 00:03:23,582
I'm not mad.

110
00:03:24,016 --> 00:03:25,050
I'm just disappointed.

111
00:03:25,052 --> 00:03:26,418
- Oh.
- Hmm.

112
00:03:26,676 --> 00:03:27,519
- Tyler?
- Mm-mm.

113
00:03:27,521 --> 00:03:28,620
Hey, come on!

114
00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:29,500
Hey, hey, hey! You know what?

115
00:03:29,512 --> 00:03:31,926
We will go in there tomorrow
and we will fix this whole thing.

116
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,759
For once, I'd like to come home,

117
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,527
have a nice dinner with my family,

118
00:03:36,144 --> 00:03:38,259
do some homework and then go to sleep

119
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:39,898
without all this drama.

120
00:03:40,593 --> 00:03:41,540
Okay?

121
00:03:43,706 --> 00:03:45,309
- He's totally disappointed in you.
- No, I told you... you did it!

122
00:03:45,337 --> 00:03:46,695
You're the one he's disappointed in.

123
00:03:46,739 --> 00:03:48,189
No, I told you that
maybe we should go back...

124
00:03:48,225 --> 00:03:49,003
If you had just...

125
00:03:49,022 --> 00:03:50,128
and told her, and told
her her sweater looked nice,

126
00:03:50,156 --> 00:03:51,506
we could've left this
whole thing behind.

127
00:03:51,544 --> 00:03:51,975
Oh...

128
00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:54,679
(indistinct chatter)

129
00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:55,690
No, honey, look.

130
00:03:55,747 --> 00:03:58,432
This photo of your dad mooning the sign?

131
00:03:58,927 --> 00:04:00,582
That proves that you're innocent.

132
00:04:00,702 --> 00:04:01,486
GIRL: There he is.

133
00:04:01,606 --> 00:04:04,222
Tyler, heard you're the
one who did the sign!

134
00:04:04,224 --> 00:04:05,690
No, no, I...

135
00:04:05,692 --> 00:04:06,791
That was hilarious.

136
00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:08,393
Thank you, finally.

137
00:04:08,395 --> 00:04:11,229
Are you here to make
more excuses for your son?

138
00:04:11,231 --> 00:04:14,299
(kids clamoring in admiration)

139
00:04:16,532 --> 00:04:17,703
No.

140
00:04:17,704 --> 00:04:18,837
No, no, no, no.

141
00:04:18,957 --> 00:04:20,338
No, uh, we-we are here

142
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,673
to let him know once and for all

143
00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,107
that we are very disappointed

144
00:04:23,109 --> 00:04:25,677
in this inappropriate prank.

145
00:04:27,282 --> 00:04:27,861
Yeah.

146
00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:29,347
Even though it was a classic.

147
00:04:29,349 --> 00:04:31,783
Mm-hmm, that's right.

148
00:04:31,785 --> 00:04:33,017
(school bell rings)

149
00:04:33,387 --> 00:04:34,686
Who knew it was such a big deal?

150
00:04:34,688 --> 00:04:36,154
I mean, when we were in high school,

151
00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:37,922
pranks were just harmless fun.

152
00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:39,524
People are so sensitive now.

153
00:04:39,526 --> 00:04:41,527
I guess we'll just have to adapt.

154
00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:47,067
Aw, man, it's like they're begging us.

155
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,000
No, no, no, no, no!
We-we got to walk away.

156
00:04:49,002 --> 00:04:49,857
We got to, we...

157
00:04:49,887 --> 00:04:52,003
- I don't know that I can!
- Yeah, you can, you can.

158
00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:53,305
Walk away, walk away.

159
00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:55,229
_

160
00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:57,253
_

161
00:04:57,476 --> 00:04:59,143
- (knocking)
- Come in.

162
00:04:59,145 --> 00:05:01,345
- Hi.
- Hi, Jake.

163
00:05:01,347 --> 00:05:02,980
Sorry to interrupt.

164
00:05:02,982 --> 00:05:04,248
Oh, what is that?

165
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,317
That is dinner for your family.

166
00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:07,223
What?

167
00:05:07,276 --> 00:05:08,326
I didn't want to let any

168
00:05:08,371 --> 00:05:09,511
of my cooking lessons go to waste.

169
00:05:09,556 --> 00:05:10,591
There's a blowtorch inside,

170
00:05:10,606 --> 00:05:12,189
so you can really scorch the duck.

171
00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:13,457
But tableside.

172
00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:15,310
Well, you know I like a scorched duck.

173
00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:17,365
Now, please, go home
to that baby already.

174
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,762
Oh, her name's Lark.

175
00:05:18,764 --> 00:05:20,130
I know. I'm actually writing

176
00:05:20,132 --> 00:05:21,565
a lullaby for her birthday.

177
00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:22,349
Have a nice evening.

178
00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:24,702
I like what you're throwing down.

179
00:05:24,704 --> 00:05:26,370
All right, bye-bye.

180
00:05:26,372 --> 00:05:27,404
(hammer banging)

181
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:28,672
JEN: Hi, honey!

182
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,607
You're home early.

183
00:05:31,152 --> 00:05:33,377
And with dinner.

184
00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:35,446
Hi, beautiful.

185
00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:37,181
I got so much work done today,

186
00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:39,967
my to-do list is now a to-done list.

187
00:05:40,004 --> 00:05:41,285
Ah!

188
00:05:41,287 --> 00:05:42,553
Well, that's impressive.

189
00:05:42,555 --> 00:05:43,854
Well, I had help.

190
00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:45,718
Oh, yeah, uh, is it chapped-lips Amber?

191
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,623
I thought she was a horrible assistant.

192
00:05:47,653 --> 00:05:49,059
Oh, no, Amber, no.

193
00:05:49,061 --> 00:05:51,328
Yeah, she went to rehab for something.

194
00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,978
Sex or meth or elaborate nail art.

195
00:05:54,008 --> 00:05:55,864
Anyway, she and her whore nails are out.

196
00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:57,934
And things are running real smooth.

197
00:05:57,936 --> 00:05:59,102
- Ah, great.
- Yeah.

198
00:05:59,104 --> 00:06:00,337
So, who's the new girl?

199
00:06:00,339 --> 00:06:02,305
Hmm? Oh, just, um...

200
00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:05,308
(stammers) I want to
know about your day.

201
00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:06,385
Oh, well. (scoffs)

202
00:06:06,619 --> 00:06:08,879
Uh, it's always the same
at a crowd funding Web site.

203
00:06:08,881 --> 00:06:11,348
You know, just making
stupid dreams come true.

204
00:06:11,892 --> 00:06:12,949
Uh, today, someone got 50 grand

205
00:06:12,951 --> 00:06:14,751
to fund a hammer that says, "Nailed it"

206
00:06:14,753 --> 00:06:17,529
- (laughs)
- Yeah, so I invested in it.

207
00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:18,862
(doorbell rings)

208
00:06:18,982 --> 00:06:19,856
Who is that?

209
00:06:19,858 --> 00:06:21,084
I don't know.

210
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:23,709
(clears his throat)

211
00:06:24,295 --> 00:06:26,278
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

212
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:27,939
Oh, Jake.

213
00:06:28,059 --> 00:06:29,766
Sorry to bother you, Jen,

214
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:32,102
But you left the Dufresne
brief in the office.

215
00:06:32,438 --> 00:06:34,262
Um... okay, I'll take that.

216
00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:35,021
JAKE: No, it's heavy. I'll just put it

217
00:06:35,049 --> 00:06:36,439
right here on the table.

218
00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:37,507
Oh, no. No, no, no.

219
00:06:37,509 --> 00:06:38,775
Um, hey, you know,

220
00:06:38,777 --> 00:06:39,577
you didn't, you didn't have

221
00:06:39,595 --> 00:06:41,461
to run that all the way over here.

222
00:06:41,499 --> 00:06:42,545
It's just a little warm-up

223
00:06:42,547 --> 00:06:43,852
before my work out. It's no big deal.

224
00:06:43,889 --> 00:06:45,381
- Oh.
- Hi!

225
00:06:45,383 --> 00:06:46,783
You must be Mr. Short.

226
00:06:46,785 --> 00:06:49,085
Oh, oh, have you never met?

227
00:06:49,087 --> 00:06:51,654
Uh, no, no, no, we haven't.

228
00:06:51,656 --> 00:06:53,824
Jake, your wife's secretary.

229
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:56,626
Gregory.

230
00:06:57,002 --> 00:06:58,061
Greg for short.

231
00:06:58,181 --> 00:06:58,915
Uh...

232
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,211
my wife's husband.

233
00:07:01,239 --> 00:07:03,688
Well, we've had a lot of
laughs here tonight together,

234
00:07:03,808 --> 00:07:06,536
and I think, uh, let's just call it.

235
00:07:06,538 --> 00:07:07,970
So... okay.

236
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:09,604
(clattering)

237
00:07:12,472 --> 00:07:14,046
It's... dumb hammer!

238
00:07:14,079 --> 00:07:15,178
(chuckles weakly)

239
00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:21,189
Hey, so, uh, Jake seems, uh, terrific.

240
00:07:21,443 --> 00:07:22,283
Really?

241
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,621
- You're fine with him being my assistant?
- Uh-huh.

242
00:07:24,622 --> 00:07:26,850
Gosh, I thought for sure
as soon as you saw him,

243
00:07:26,908 --> 00:07:27,748
that pull-up bar

244
00:07:27,759 --> 00:07:29,193
would be back in the door jamb.

245
00:07:31,595 --> 00:07:33,963
(clattering) No. No. Not at all.

246
00:07:33,965 --> 00:07:35,364
What was that? Did something just fall?

247
00:07:35,366 --> 00:07:36,866
Huh? What?

248
00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:38,667
Um...

249
00:07:38,669 --> 00:07:40,369
(sniffs)

250
00:07:40,371 --> 00:07:42,571
You smell like cookies.

251
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,277
Jakey!

252
00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:50,279
My man! What's happening?

253
00:07:50,399 --> 00:07:51,895
JAKE: Mr. Short! Hi, how are you?

254
00:07:52,015 --> 00:07:53,052
- GREG: Found it.
- JAKE: Yep.

255
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:53,531
Oh, no.

256
00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:54,730
Nice jacket.

257
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:56,118
Oh, this old thing? (scoffs)

258
00:07:56,594 --> 00:07:57,833
I've had it for ages.

259
00:07:57,953 --> 00:07:59,021
It's one of Jen's favorites.

260
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,824
Oh, you've, uh... you've
still got the tag on it.

261
00:08:06,523 --> 00:08:07,162
JEN: Uh...

262
00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:08,697
- Hi.
- Oh...

263
00:08:08,699 --> 00:08:11,013
Hi, honey. There's my queen.

264
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,438
- Come here, give me some sugar.
- What? Oh...

265
00:08:19,753 --> 00:08:20,576
(clears throat)

266
00:08:20,696 --> 00:08:23,143
Wow, that-that-that was a week's worth.

267
00:08:23,188 --> 00:08:24,546
- Mm-hmm.
- So thanks.

268
00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:27,814
What exactly are you doing here?

269
00:08:27,934 --> 00:08:29,051
Well, I just happen
to have a sixth sense

270
00:08:29,053 --> 00:08:30,819
when it comes to what my woman needs,

271
00:08:30,821 --> 00:08:33,756
and I saw this and I thought
I'd just run it on over.

272
00:08:34,012 --> 00:08:35,390
No big "D."

273
00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:37,626
This is my Filofax from 2003.

274
00:08:37,628 --> 00:08:39,361
Anytime you see a red
heart in the calendar,

275
00:08:39,363 --> 00:08:41,096
- it means that we banged. Okay?
- Oh, my God.

276
00:08:41,904 --> 00:08:42,999
(phone ringing)

277
00:08:44,162 --> 00:08:45,100
Excuse me.

278
00:08:45,782 --> 00:08:46,849
Jen Short's office.

279
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:47,913
(chair squeaks loudly)

280
00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:49,406
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

281
00:08:49,691 --> 00:08:51,673
Jakey boy, what was that I heard?

282
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,019
A squeak? Yeah, your chair's
a squeaker, all right?

283
00:08:54,062 --> 00:08:55,310
Nine out of ten times,

284
00:08:55,312 --> 00:08:56,717
it's because of the hydraulics.

285
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,633
So let me take a look under the hood.

286
00:08:58,753 --> 00:08:59,414
Come on. Let me see.

287
00:08:59,416 --> 00:09:00,394
Just...

288
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,271
Throw your back out again?

289
00:09:06,391 --> 00:09:07,589
- Yeah.
- Okay.

290
00:09:08,753 --> 00:09:09,924
Come here, baby.

291
00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:11,426
All right.

292
00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:14,329
It's okay.

293
00:09:14,331 --> 00:09:15,997
Just give him a minute.

294
00:09:18,497 --> 00:09:19,100
You okay?

295
00:09:20,278 --> 00:09:21,197
I'm fine.

296
00:09:22,153 --> 00:09:24,539
Did you thank Jake for
carrying me in here?

297
00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:27,279
Yeah. He just ran to his car
to grab his massage table.

298
00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:29,377
He's also a certified
physical therapist.

299
00:09:29,575 --> 00:09:31,202
I'm just gonna assume
that he is everything

300
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,380
until you tell me otherwise.

301
00:09:32,382 --> 00:09:34,382
Look, honey, you don't have
to be threatened by him.

302
00:09:34,384 --> 00:09:37,385
Okay? You're my husband, and I love you.

303
00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:39,909
But if-if this really upsets you,

304
00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:43,189
I will fire a perfectly
innocent, hard-working guy

305
00:09:43,217 --> 00:09:45,214
who helps your wife be
at the top of her game.

306
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,128
Is that, is that what you want?

307
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:48,453
Well...

308
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:51,209
if you put it like that...

309
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:53,834
yeah, that's exactly what I want.

310
00:09:54,603 --> 00:09:56,373
Okay, well, legally I can't fire him,

311
00:09:56,373 --> 00:09:58,505
but I do appreciate you
finally being honest with me.

312
00:09:58,507 --> 00:09:59,542
(door opens)

313
00:09:59,546 --> 00:10:00,877
Okay, Mr. Short.

314
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,449
I am not taking no for an answer.

315
00:10:03,366 --> 00:10:04,157
It was my fault

316
00:10:04,191 --> 00:10:05,625
for letting that chair get so squeaky.

317
00:10:05,659 --> 00:10:07,541
I should've fixed it
when I built that desk.

318
00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:10,351
Wow. He really is good.

319
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:11,245
Isn't he?

320
00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:12,512
I wish I could find

321
00:10:12,535 --> 00:10:13,749
an assistant like you.

322
00:10:14,942 --> 00:10:16,290
Actually, my sister

323
00:10:16,292 --> 00:10:18,363
just graduated from Oxford University

324
00:10:18,389 --> 00:10:19,894
and she would love to work for you.

325
00:10:19,932 --> 00:10:22,066
If the Miss Universe
circuit taught her anything,

326
00:10:22,114 --> 00:10:23,497
it was the value of hard work.

327
00:10:24,886 --> 00:10:25,833
She sounds good!

328
00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:27,701
Yeah, okay, you're fired.

329
00:10:31,072 --> 00:10:32,306
Oh, it's really in there.

330
00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:34,040
Just... uh, stay calm.

331
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,517
- I am calm.
- I'm talking to myself.

332
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,666
_

333
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,290
- HEATHER: <i>Hi, Mom.</i>
- JOAN:<i> Hi, honey.</i>

334
00:10:40,328 --> 00:10:41,983
Hey, you guys, look.
Mom-Mom's making dinner,

335
00:10:42,002 --> 00:10:44,316
so you eat whatever it
is that she makes you.

336
00:10:44,318 --> 00:10:47,119
Keep an eye on this one, because
she has become very creative

337
00:10:47,121 --> 00:10:48,794
about not eating her vegetables.

338
00:10:48,808 --> 00:10:50,322
Oh, I remember all your old tricks.

339
00:10:50,324 --> 00:10:52,291
You used to stuff
your bra with broccoli.

340
00:10:52,293 --> 00:10:53,559
HEATHER: And this one over here

341
00:10:53,561 --> 00:10:54,736
just got her period,

342
00:10:54,765 --> 00:10:56,444
- so she's not a lot of fun right now.
- Mom!

343
00:10:56,493 --> 00:10:57,729
What? She gets it.

344
00:10:57,731 --> 00:10:59,498
Well, she used to. She remembers.

345
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,266
It's okay, sweetie,
we'll still have some fun.

346
00:11:01,268 --> 00:11:02,281
Listen to Mom-Mom.

347
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,937
- Have fun, dear.
- Bye, Mom.

348
00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:06,537
(whispering): Shh,
we gotta play it cool.

349
00:11:07,123 --> 00:11:07,549
(door closes)

350
00:11:07,561 --> 00:11:10,609
We're not safe until that
car leaves the driveway.

351
00:11:10,611 --> 00:11:12,077
(giggling)

352
00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:14,112
It's always so fun over here.

353
00:11:14,114 --> 00:11:15,438
I wish we lived closer.

354
00:11:15,492 --> 00:11:17,784
We live across the
street, you stupid imp.

355
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:20,585
I know you're still in
there, my sweet Samantha.

356
00:11:21,591 --> 00:11:22,687
Come back to me.

357
00:11:22,689 --> 00:11:25,994
Let's focus on... bubbles.

358
00:11:26,822 --> 00:11:27,408
One...

359
00:11:28,202 --> 00:11:28,832
two...

360
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:30,746
hmm.

361
00:11:33,087 --> 00:11:33,431
Oh.

362
00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:34,909
(laughter)

363
00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:37,461
Can I have another piece,
Mom-Mom? I lost mine.

364
00:11:37,581 --> 00:11:39,737
Oh. I think I found it.

365
00:11:40,206 --> 00:11:42,507
Oh, no! Oh, oh...

366
00:11:42,509 --> 00:11:43,742
Oh, don't move, honey.

367
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,601
It'll just go in worse.

368
00:11:46,996 --> 00:11:47,412
Okay.

369
00:11:47,664 --> 00:11:49,147
Oh, it's really in there.

370
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:51,939
Just... stay calm.

371
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:52,851
I am calm.

372
00:11:52,853 --> 00:11:54,495
No, I'm talking to myself, honey.

373
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:56,901
It... just... your mom
is going to be so furious.

374
00:11:56,941 --> 00:12:00,358
She has no idea what we do over here.

375
00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:02,026
Can I have another piece of gum?

376
00:12:02,028 --> 00:12:03,342
No, no, no more gum.

377
00:12:03,381 --> 00:12:05,219
But it helps me when I'm stressed.

378
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,157
Oh, of course you can, honey.

379
00:12:07,451 --> 00:12:10,368
Just let me get this piece out
and then you get another piece.

380
00:12:10,644 --> 00:12:11,232
Okay.

381
00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:12,954
Boop.

382
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,508
This might be a stupid question,

383
00:12:16,532 --> 00:12:18,302
but can we chew the gum out?

384
00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:20,829
No, honey, I-I think we're gonna

385
00:12:21,729 --> 00:12:23,347
try the peanut butter next.

386
00:12:23,589 --> 00:12:24,449
I ate it all.

387
00:12:24,729 --> 00:12:25,413
Damn it!

388
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,518
Oh, I'm so sorry, honey.

389
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,554
I-I wasn't, I wasn't cursing at you,

390
00:12:29,556 --> 00:12:32,125
I was, uh, cursing w-with you.

391
00:12:32,659 --> 00:12:33,540
I can curse?

392
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:34,957
No.

393
00:12:35,495 --> 00:12:36,770
Well, maybe a couple.

394
00:12:36,830 --> 00:12:39,692
Hey, Mom-Mom, I got
the Vaseline you wanted.

395
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:40,898
JOAN: Thanks, honey.

396
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,440
Oh. This has the look of Mom blowing up.

397
00:12:44,818 --> 00:12:45,436
I'm out.

398
00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:47,905
Me, too. Good luck, people.

399
00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:49,673
Hey. Hey, guys...

400
00:12:49,675 --> 00:12:51,791
who-who bought you
thong panties last week

401
00:12:51,829 --> 00:12:52,744
when your mom wouldn't?

402
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,068
And, Tyler,

403
00:12:54,098 --> 00:12:56,015
who's got your back
when you tell your mom

404
00:12:56,218 --> 00:12:58,154
you're sleeping over here and you don't?

405
00:12:58,519 --> 00:12:58,916
You know,

406
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,089
horses of a feather,

407
00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:01,785
they don't abandon the ship.

408
00:13:04,179 --> 00:13:04,755
Oh!

409
00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,041
Problem solved.

410
00:13:06,701 --> 00:13:07,458
JOAN: Oh, no...

411
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:08,753
You're welcome.

412
00:13:10,236 --> 00:13:12,062
HEATHER: <i>Look at
all this junk food.</i>

413
00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:14,400
Mom! Where did this come from?

414
00:13:14,982 --> 00:13:17,034
I mean, when we were
kids, the most sugary thing

415
00:13:17,036 --> 00:13:18,873
you would let us have was cough syrup.

416
00:13:18,921 --> 00:13:20,704
Things change, honey.

417
00:13:20,706 --> 00:13:22,606
It's the natural flow of life.

418
00:13:22,608 --> 00:13:24,909
Stop talking about my period!

419
00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:26,357
I just, I don't understand it.

420
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,981
You were always so strict.

421
00:13:28,031 --> 00:13:29,033
Yeah, I was too strict,

422
00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,625
and it was a constant,
exhausting battle.

423
00:13:32,097 --> 00:13:33,726
And I had to sit there and listen to you

424
00:13:33,744 --> 00:13:36,187
tell me how much more
fun it was over at GiGi's.

425
00:13:36,307 --> 00:13:37,843
Yeah, because GiGi would let me eat

426
00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:39,811
an entire tube of cookie dough.

427
00:13:40,411 --> 00:13:41,836
Don't look at me.

428
00:13:42,451 --> 00:13:42,946
Oh...

429
00:13:43,066 --> 00:13:45,286
Honey, I was always saying no.

430
00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:48,070
- Now it's my time to say yes.
- Okay, I just...

431
00:13:48,112 --> 00:13:50,113
I don't know how comfortable
I am having the kids over here

432
00:13:50,141 --> 00:13:51,614
if I know you don't respect my rules.

433
00:13:51,637 --> 00:13:52,536
But, Mom...

434
00:13:52,572 --> 00:13:55,111
you let Pop-Pop smoke
cigars in our backyard

435
00:13:55,147 --> 00:13:56,461
even though he's not supposed to.

436
00:13:56,581 --> 00:13:57,409
Shh!

437
00:13:57,451 --> 00:13:59,076
- Ooh, boy.
- You do what?

438
00:13:59,136 --> 00:14:00,480
It's not my job to tell him no.

439
00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:01,746
John.

440
00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:04,867
Well, Tyler's smoking a lot
more than cigars out in my shed.

441
00:14:04,987 --> 00:14:07,123
- Why don't you ride his ass?
- Pop-Pop?

442
00:14:07,243 --> 00:14:09,590
I just came in here
for some cookie dough.

443
00:14:09,866 --> 00:14:11,636
- Damn it, Samantha.
- Damn it to you.

444
00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:14,421
Oh, now, now, we're all very frustrated,

445
00:14:14,474 --> 00:14:17,535
but at least there's no
more secrets between us.

446
00:14:17,655 --> 00:14:18,471
TIM: Hey, John!

447
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:20,897
The neighbors are shooting
porn in their yard again.

448
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:23,905
Uh...

449
00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:26,849
I found your binoculars.

450
00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,705
(clears throat) Yeah.

451
00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:32,423
Tank is not ridiculous.

452
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,610
(Tank yips)

453
00:14:33,612 --> 00:14:36,031
She is the mayor of Doggie Pack City.

454
00:14:37,269 --> 00:14:39,069
_

455
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:41,811
It's great to see you.

456
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,537
Been missing you around the house.

457
00:14:43,574 --> 00:14:47,202
Oh. You specifically or other people?

458
00:14:47,412 --> 00:14:48,953
I don't know, I'm just being nice.

459
00:14:50,675 --> 00:14:52,724
Well, I think Princess
really misses Matt.

460
00:14:53,050 --> 00:14:55,093
JOHN: What does it mean when
they sniff around like that?

461
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,928
Sometimes when a dog's
head goes one way,

462
00:14:57,048 --> 00:14:58,730
it's butt goes the other.
Doesn't mean anything.

463
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,908
Wow, you know so much about dogs.

464
00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:03,835
- Lots. (chuckles)
- Cool.

465
00:15:05,253 --> 00:15:06,612
You know, we should do this again.

466
00:15:07,122 --> 00:15:08,239
It's nice to catch up.

467
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,594
About dogs and parks and... Matt.

468
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:12,306
Sure.

469
00:15:13,364 --> 00:15:14,746
But maybe don't mention
that we're hanging out,

470
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,142
in case he's feeling
raw about the breakup.

471
00:15:17,395 --> 00:15:18,810
Like, sneaking around?

472
00:15:18,839 --> 00:15:19,625
That sounds fun.

473
00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:23,018
Uh, what do you call an affair

474
00:15:23,228 --> 00:15:25,690
when there's no sex
with the other person?

475
00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:27,425
A friendship.

476
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,594
(chuckles)

477
00:15:32,654 --> 00:15:33,864
(door closes)

478
00:15:37,049 --> 00:15:37,896
Hey, Dad. Where you been?

479
00:15:38,744 --> 00:15:40,457
Uh, at the store,

480
00:15:40,487 --> 00:15:42,199
because we're out of cheese.

481
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:43,753
I mean, bread. Did I say cheese?

482
00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:45,427
I don't know why I would say cheese.

483
00:15:46,093 --> 00:15:48,318
Uh, I was at the post office.

484
00:15:48,342 --> 00:15:49,458
Uh, did you get stamps?

485
00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:51,192
Why would I get stamps

486
00:15:51,402 --> 00:15:52,644
at the dog park?

487
00:15:53,013 --> 00:15:53,365
Hm?

488
00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,335
Oh, damn it. Uh, geez.

489
00:15:55,347 --> 00:15:57,219
I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

490
00:15:57,261 --> 00:15:59,055
I had to find out, uh... what?

491
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,861
I just told you, I was with Colleen.

492
00:16:00,981 --> 00:16:02,073
No, you didn't just tell me that.

493
00:16:02,313 --> 00:16:04,075
Oh, well, then forget I said anything.

494
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,729
- Whoa, whoa!
- Hmm?

495
00:16:06,457 --> 00:16:07,435
You were with Colleen?

496
00:16:07,885 --> 00:16:09,580
Yeah, she's helping me with Tank?

497
00:16:10,756 --> 00:16:11,201
Okay.

498
00:16:11,494 --> 00:16:13,904
- Uh, you're not mad at me?
- No, of course not.

499
00:16:14,117 --> 00:16:15,502
You're an adult with a ridiculous dog,

500
00:16:15,513 --> 00:16:16,906
she's an adult with a ridiculous dog,

501
00:16:16,927 --> 00:16:18,208
I just don't need to hear about it.

502
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:19,632
Tank is not ridiculous.

503
00:16:19,698 --> 00:16:19,982
(Tank yips)

504
00:16:20,864 --> 00:16:23,374
She is the mayor of Doggie Pack City.

505
00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:27,885
JOHN: Eh?

506
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,385
(chuckling): Wow.

507
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,841
Look at Tank and Princess.

508
00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,739
You had professional portraits made.

509
00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:33,984
Yeah, imagine the wedding night, huh?

510
00:16:34,017 --> 00:16:35,130
- (chuckles)
- Yeah.

511
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:35,652
No, thanks.

512
00:16:35,718 --> 00:16:38,642
You owe me 23 bucks, but
you can pay me anytime.

513
00:16:42,275 --> 00:16:43,487
(chiming)

514
00:16:48,092 --> 00:16:49,459
(grunts)

515
00:16:49,461 --> 00:16:50,460
Ugh.

516
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:51,659
John. Hi.

517
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:52,829
- Hey.
- Hi.

518
00:16:52,831 --> 00:16:54,481
It's really late. Is everything okay?

519
00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:56,224
Yeah, I know. No, I know it's late,

520
00:16:56,269 --> 00:16:57,565
but there's someone here that can't wait

521
00:16:57,587 --> 00:16:58,688
till morning to talk to you.

522
00:16:58,726 --> 00:16:59,574
Oh.

523
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,400
(cartoonish): Hi, I got a new collar.

524
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:05,775
Do you like it?

525
00:17:06,052 --> 00:17:06,977
It's really cute.

526
00:17:07,283 --> 00:17:08,279
I'm going to bed.

527
00:17:11,466 --> 00:17:12,916
Oh, what's this?

528
00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:16,019
I entered Princess and
Tank in a big dog show.

529
00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:17,587
First prize is a Geo Storm,

530
00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:19,326
so we should drive there together

531
00:17:19,351 --> 00:17:20,723
in case one of us wins.

532
00:17:20,725 --> 00:17:22,659
John, I don't think I can do this.

533
00:17:22,661 --> 00:17:25,094
No, no, I-I know Princess is a mutt,

534
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,597
but I lied to them about
the pedigree, so it's fine.

535
00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:30,153
No. No, I've been meaning
to talk to you about this.

536
00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:34,170
- I love the time that we spend together.
- Mmm.

537
00:17:34,461 --> 00:17:36,239
- But it's too much.
- Hmm?

538
00:17:36,241 --> 00:17:37,976
And it's too complicated.

539
00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:43,646
I think we should
start seeing other dogs.

540
00:17:44,177 --> 00:17:45,785
Oh, I see.

541
00:17:45,801 --> 00:17:46,703
Yeah.

542
00:17:48,871 --> 00:17:49,552
Here, Tank.

543
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:51,220
- Here.
- (Tank yips)

544
00:17:54,195 --> 00:17:54,590
John.

545
00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:55,858
I'm sorry.

546
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:57,827
By the way, this whole time,

547
00:17:57,829 --> 00:18:00,896
Tank has been sharing the
water bowl at Boston Market

548
00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:03,132
with a really good-looking pug.

549
00:18:05,737 --> 00:18:08,604
(video game guns firing)

550
00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:11,859
I think Tank misses Princess.

551
00:18:11,896 --> 00:18:14,310
Dad, we agreed that we are
not gonna discuss Colleen.

552
00:18:14,312 --> 00:18:16,645
No, this is not about Colleen.

553
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,681
I was just thinking that maybe you had

554
00:18:18,683 --> 00:18:20,843
some visitation rights with Princess

555
00:18:20,879 --> 00:18:22,318
that you could take advantage of.

556
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,087
Damn it, Dad, I'm trying
really hard to move on from her.

557
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:26,791
Don't do it for me, son.

558
00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:29,239
Do it for your little sister here.

559
00:18:29,659 --> 00:18:30,459
(cartoonish): Help me.

560
00:18:30,461 --> 00:18:33,122
Don't punish me for
things our father did.

561
00:18:33,148 --> 00:18:34,976
Okay, first of all, don't refer
to her as my little sister.

562
00:18:34,991 --> 00:18:36,741
And second of all, don't use that voice.

563
00:18:36,861 --> 00:18:38,599
Do it or get out of my house, eh?

564
00:18:38,762 --> 00:18:40,363
You already used that this morning

565
00:18:40,377 --> 00:18:41,870
when you told me to kill the spider.

566
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,306
There's no limit to how
many times I can use it.

567
00:18:47,047 --> 00:18:48,300
- (door closes)
- Oh, God.

568
00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:51,614
Good job. Get the ball. Good going.

569
00:18:52,486 --> 00:18:54,619
So excited, so excited, I know.

570
00:18:57,989 --> 00:18:58,599
Hey.

571
00:18:59,525 --> 00:19:01,005
- Hi.
- Hi.

572
00:19:02,894 --> 00:19:03,279
BOTH: How are...

573
00:19:03,297 --> 00:19:05,162
How are you? (both laugh)

574
00:19:05,164 --> 00:19:06,237
Good. How are you?

575
00:19:06,591 --> 00:19:07,115
I'm good.

576
00:19:07,235 --> 00:19:10,829
Um, I hear my dad got a little needy.

577
00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:12,005
You heard right.

578
00:19:12,191 --> 00:19:13,835
Don't know how you
didn't see that coming.

579
00:19:13,865 --> 00:19:15,105
(both laugh)

580
00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:16,337
Um...

581
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,373
I should call up Greg,
get him down here.

582
00:19:18,397 --> 00:19:20,058
You can break up with
all the men in my family.

583
00:19:20,802 --> 00:19:22,314
- Well...
- Oh!

584
00:19:22,352 --> 00:19:24,214
Okay. Come on. Jokes.

585
00:19:24,216 --> 00:19:25,482
(chuckles)

586
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:27,149
You look good.

587
00:19:27,886 --> 00:19:28,653
You, too.

588
00:19:28,705 --> 00:19:29,793
- Change your hair?
- No.

589
00:19:30,693 --> 00:19:31,945
- You lost weight?
- No.

590
00:19:31,975 --> 00:19:32,906
Did something with your eyebrows?

591
00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:34,038
Sure.

592
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,223
- Knew it.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

593
00:19:35,268 --> 00:19:36,333
Very perceptive.

594
00:19:36,363 --> 00:19:37,038
Thank you.

595
00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:41,138
I-I know that Tank needs a friend,

596
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,968
and so, um, since my
dad is too much for you,

597
00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:45,526
maybe I could... bring her by.

598
00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:47,858
Once in a while.

599
00:19:48,848 --> 00:19:49,538
I'd like that.

600
00:19:52,201 --> 00:19:52,793
All right.

601
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:54,196
Okay.

602
00:19:58,592 --> 00:19:59,769
All right, you want to say good-bye?

603
00:19:59,889 --> 00:20:00,827
- Bye, Tank.
- Bye, say good-bye.

604
00:20:00,849 --> 00:20:02,312
- See you soon. See you very soon.
- Good-bye. Bye.

605
00:20:03,009 --> 00:20:03,857
- "Very soon."
- Yeah.

606
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:04,511
Yeah.

607
00:20:05,827 --> 00:20:06,808
- Very soon sounds good. Okay.
- Okay.

608
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:07,936
All right.

609
00:20:08,302 --> 00:20:09,826
- Okay.
- Okay.

610
00:20:13,631 --> 00:20:14,894
Hi.

611
00:20:30,118 --> 00:20:31,181
How's Princess?

612
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,165
He's-he's good.

613
00:20:32,285 --> 00:20:34,606
- And how are you?
- I'm okay.

614
00:20:34,726 --> 00:20:35,713
It's nice how fate...

615
00:20:35,748 --> 00:20:37,775
- brought you two together.
- Yeah.

616
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:40,532
Now let's get out of here
and go get a cheeseburger.

617
00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:42,342
Fate is getting hungry.

618
00:20:42,344 --> 00:20:44,010
(engine starting)

619
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,534
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -