1 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:08,027 [heavy breathing] 2 00:00:13,824 --> 00:00:15,450 [man] Oh, fuck, fuck. 3 00:00:15,534 --> 00:00:16,660 [woman] What happened? 4 00:00:16,743 --> 00:00:18,078 [man] The condom broke. 5 00:00:18,161 --> 00:00:19,914 [woman] Okay. You have an extra one? 6 00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:21,665 Go ahead, put it on. Hurry. 7 00:00:21,748 --> 00:00:23,917 [man] Yeah, I do, but, like, I was all up in there. 8 00:00:24,001 --> 00:00:25,878 Are you on birth control and stuff? 9 00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:28,047 [woman] No, but you didn't finish, right? 10 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,214 It's fine. 11 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,757 Yeah, but, like, you know, 12 00:00:30,841 --> 00:00:32,425 there's those... There's those little guys 13 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:33,761 that come out before the big party. 14 00:00:33,844 --> 00:00:35,220 You know? 15 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:36,722 Should we maybe get a pill to be safe? 16 00:00:36,805 --> 00:00:40,059 Little guys? Do you mean pre-come? 17 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,476 No, no. 18 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:42,853 You can't get pregnant from pre-come. 19 00:00:42,936 --> 00:00:44,604 I got a buddy, this guy Donald... 20 00:00:44,688 --> 00:00:46,147 him and his girlfriend were having sex... same situation. 21 00:00:46,231 --> 00:00:47,691 She got pregnant. 22 00:00:47,774 --> 00:00:49,192 Now they got a kid. His name's Samson. 23 00:00:49,275 --> 00:00:50,485 Well, that seems anecdotal. 24 00:00:50,569 --> 00:00:51,486 No, no. I know this guy. 25 00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:52,654 He's a friend of mine. 26 00:00:52,738 --> 00:00:53,739 That's what anecdotal means. 27 00:00:53,822 --> 00:00:54,990 You take one example, 28 00:00:55,074 --> 00:00:56,575 and you apply it to everything else. 29 00:00:56,658 --> 00:00:58,827 - Oh, then that's anecdotal. - Yeah. 30 00:00:58,911 --> 00:01:00,704 I was confusing it with urban legend. 31 00:01:00,787 --> 00:01:01,914 Anyway, how about this? 32 00:01:01,997 --> 00:01:02,998 I got an idea. 33 00:01:03,082 --> 00:01:04,416 Let's just Google it now, 34 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:05,667 just for peace of mind. 35 00:01:05,751 --> 00:01:07,003 Okay, peace of mind. Okay. 36 00:01:07,086 --> 00:01:09,170 - Peace of mind. Yeah. - Great. Okay. 37 00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:19,430 All right. 38 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,808 Uh... 39 00:01:21,892 --> 00:01:23,309 Okay, right here. 40 00:01:23,393 --> 00:01:25,228 "Pre-come does not contain sperm." 41 00:01:25,311 --> 00:01:26,855 Okay. 42 00:01:26,939 --> 00:01:29,482 Um, I'm on this other site, 43 00:01:29,566 --> 00:01:31,317 and it says, 44 00:01:31,401 --> 00:01:34,029 "Yes, the pre-ejaculate fluid itself does not contain sperm. 45 00:01:34,113 --> 00:01:35,990 As the pre-ejaculate leaves the body, however, 46 00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:38,283 it may pick up sperm from a previous ejaculation 47 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,368 that remains in the urethra." 48 00:01:40,452 --> 00:01:42,079 So, like, these other guys are just hanging out, 49 00:01:42,162 --> 00:01:43,789 and they just hitch a ride. 50 00:01:43,872 --> 00:01:46,083 Well, but when's the last time you ejaculated? 51 00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:47,084 Mm... 52 00:01:47,167 --> 00:01:48,627 I mean, earlier tonight. 53 00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:49,962 Wait. At the bar? 54 00:01:50,045 --> 00:01:51,254 No, not at the bar, at my house. 55 00:01:51,337 --> 00:01:52,798 Like, here. 56 00:01:52,881 --> 00:01:54,967 Here... Like, you know, before you go out. 57 00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:56,843 If you're a dude, you do that so you're not... 58 00:01:56,927 --> 00:01:58,678 - I get it. I get it. - ...super excited when... 59 00:01:58,762 --> 00:02:01,098 I get it. I get it. Oh, damn it. 60 00:02:01,181 --> 00:02:03,933 The little guys, they might be in me. 61 00:02:04,017 --> 00:02:05,185 I want to get the pill. 62 00:02:05,268 --> 00:02:06,728 All right, um, 63 00:02:06,812 --> 00:02:10,149 well, should I call an Uber or something? 64 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,858 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 65 00:02:15,988 --> 00:02:20,450 Um, there's an uberX that's, like, three minutes away. 66 00:02:20,533 --> 00:02:22,535 There's an UberBLACK that's, like, 15 minutes away. 67 00:02:22,619 --> 00:02:24,038 Should I just uberX? 68 00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:25,497 - Yeah. - Okay. 69 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,790 I just didn't want you to think 70 00:02:26,873 --> 00:02:28,249 I was being stingy with the Ubers. 71 00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:30,002 Okay, that's fine. 72 00:02:30,085 --> 00:02:31,461 All right. 73 00:02:31,544 --> 00:02:34,047 So Kingston will be here in three minutes. 74 00:02:34,131 --> 00:02:37,050 [gentle music playing] 75 00:02:37,134 --> 00:02:39,178 ♪ ♪ 76 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,221 Hello, um... 77 00:02:41,304 --> 00:02:44,390 me and this young lady were... 78 00:02:46,018 --> 00:02:47,019 Yep. 79 00:02:47,102 --> 00:02:48,103 There it is. Thanks. 80 00:02:48,187 --> 00:02:49,980 Um, is that a good brand or... 81 00:02:50,063 --> 00:02:51,564 It's the best and only brand. 82 00:02:51,648 --> 00:02:53,108 Um, yeah, we'll get one of those, 83 00:02:53,192 --> 00:02:54,442 and anything else? 84 00:02:54,526 --> 00:02:56,402 You good on snacks and stuff or... 85 00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:57,696 - I'm fine. - Yeah? 86 00:02:57,779 --> 00:02:59,156 And you want something to drink? 87 00:02:59,239 --> 00:03:00,157 Martinelli's? 88 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,700 Martinelli's? 89 00:03:01,783 --> 00:03:04,203 You never had Martinelli's apple juice? 90 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,996 And two Martinelli's as well. 91 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:13,003 Oh, no, no. Please. I got it. 92 00:03:13,086 --> 00:03:14,545 My treat. 93 00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:17,799 [hip-hop music playing loudly] 94 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:22,762 Uh, sir, do you mind turning the radio off? 95 00:03:22,846 --> 00:03:24,305 - [music stops] - Thank you. 96 00:03:26,516 --> 00:03:29,186 [sighs] 97 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:37,569 Okay. 98 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,196 [grunts] 99 00:03:40,947 --> 00:03:43,242 Uh, okay, yeah. 100 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,994 Let's, uh, grab a drink or whatever sometime. 101 00:03:46,078 --> 00:03:47,704 Sure, yeah. 102 00:03:47,787 --> 00:03:48,997 Uh, yeah. It was nice meeting you. 103 00:03:49,081 --> 00:03:50,290 Yeah. 104 00:03:50,373 --> 00:03:52,458 Um, let's keep in touch. 105 00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:55,212 - All right, cool. - Okay. 106 00:03:55,295 --> 00:03:56,421 [car door clatters, beeps] 107 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:57,589 - I don't... - Oh, hold on. 108 00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,216 - Okay. - [car door beeping] 109 00:03:59,299 --> 00:04:00,967 - Sorry. - Whoa... Wha... I'll get... 110 00:04:01,051 --> 00:04:03,053 Okay. Is that good? 111 00:04:03,136 --> 00:04:04,221 There we go. 112 00:04:04,304 --> 00:04:05,638 - Good night. Bye. - Bye. 113 00:04:05,722 --> 00:04:06,890 [car door clicks shut] 114 00:04:06,973 --> 00:04:10,351 [whimsical acoustic guitar music] 115 00:04:10,435 --> 00:04:13,354 [man singing in French] 116 00:04:13,438 --> 00:04:19,278 ♪ ♪ 117 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Synced and corrected by sysrapmarvel www.addic7ed.com 118 00:04:44,677 --> 00:04:46,721 And then the condom broke. 119 00:04:46,805 --> 00:04:48,307 I hope she was on birth control. 120 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:51,017 Nope, but luckily, we got one of those Plan B things. 121 00:04:51,101 --> 00:04:53,270 So now two people that barely know each other 122 00:04:53,353 --> 00:04:55,105 won't be raising a human child together. 123 00:04:55,188 --> 00:04:57,857 That's dope. Shout-out to Plan B pills. 124 00:04:57,941 --> 00:04:59,193 Why do they call it Plan B? 125 00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:00,443 I mean, is Plan A having the kid? 126 00:05:00,526 --> 00:05:02,362 That's a terrible plan. 127 00:05:02,445 --> 00:05:04,489 I think Plan A is you don't drop a million of your sperm 128 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,866 into someone you don't know that well. 129 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:09,077 - You ever had a condom break? - Hell, no. 130 00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:10,996 But to be honest with you guys, 131 00:05:11,079 --> 00:05:13,706 I rarely wear them 'cause they feel weird against my guy. 132 00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:15,250 Plus, I have a pretty low count. 133 00:05:15,334 --> 00:05:16,751 Really? 134 00:05:16,835 --> 00:05:18,628 I spent a lot of time in spas and hot tubs 135 00:05:18,711 --> 00:05:21,464 and I think that high heat melted most of my boys. 136 00:05:21,547 --> 00:05:22,673 Oh. 137 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,176 So, Denise, for lesbians, 138 00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:25,885 is there, like, no protection? 139 00:05:25,969 --> 00:05:27,971 You kind of just go to town on the puss? 140 00:05:28,054 --> 00:05:29,222 Basically. 141 00:05:29,306 --> 00:05:31,224 If she's looking good and smelling good, I'm down. 142 00:05:31,308 --> 00:05:33,226 I mean, there's Saran wrap and dental dam, 143 00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:34,602 but don't nobody use that shit. 144 00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:36,021 You don't have, like, 145 00:05:36,104 --> 00:05:37,563 a drawer full of dental dams beside your bed? 146 00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:39,191 I got some coconut oil... rub her down with that. 147 00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:40,608 Ooh, that sounds nice. 148 00:05:40,692 --> 00:05:42,735 Look, it don't matter what you do. 149 00:05:42,819 --> 00:05:44,321 Nothing's 100% safe. 150 00:05:44,404 --> 00:05:45,738 Kyle Cooper and his girlfriend 151 00:05:45,822 --> 00:05:47,366 were using condoms and birth control. 152 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,491 Them jokers still had a baby. 153 00:05:48,574 --> 00:05:49,868 Dude, babies are boring, man. 154 00:05:49,951 --> 00:05:51,703 It just doesn't make sense. 155 00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,788 I mean, back in the olden days, you'd pop out those bitches, 156 00:05:53,872 --> 00:05:55,623 and they would tend to your farm, 157 00:05:55,707 --> 00:05:58,043 but we're not living that agrarian lifestyle anymore. 158 00:05:58,126 --> 00:05:59,585 They're obsolete. 159 00:05:59,669 --> 00:06:01,087 Dev, you want kids? 160 00:06:01,171 --> 00:06:02,505 Part of me is like, "Yeah." 161 00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:05,217 It could be an amazing human experience. 162 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,843 True, true. 163 00:06:06,926 --> 00:06:09,553 But then part of me's like, "All right, later tonight, 164 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,514 I want to get some pasta." 165 00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:13,099 Now, if I have a kid, I can't go. 166 00:06:13,183 --> 00:06:14,976 I got to scramble to find a sitter or something. 167 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,477 What if I don't find a sitter, huh? 168 00:06:16,561 --> 00:06:18,355 Then what? What, I'm not eating the pasta? 169 00:06:18,438 --> 00:06:20,148 That sounds horrible. 170 00:06:20,232 --> 00:06:22,775 That said, I do know some parents who still eat pasta. 171 00:06:22,859 --> 00:06:24,945 Yeah, they're eating their little kids' SpaghettiOs. 172 00:06:25,028 --> 00:06:26,405 They ain't housing that fresh gnocchi. 173 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,323 You know what the move is, though? 174 00:06:28,407 --> 00:06:30,283 You got to get one of those Trinidadian nannies in the mix. 175 00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:32,077 Then you're straight chilling. 176 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,953 You get the nanny to do all the grunt work, 177 00:06:34,037 --> 00:06:35,705 you get all the hugs and kisses. 178 00:06:35,788 --> 00:06:37,915 I will say, you know, Kyle used to be just like us, 179 00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:39,500 hanging out, drinking and stuff, 180 00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:41,378 but he seems happier 181 00:06:41,461 --> 00:06:43,087 now that he's settled down, in a way. 182 00:06:43,171 --> 00:06:46,383 No, dude, Kyle's done. 183 00:06:46,466 --> 00:06:47,884 He's not getting any sleep. 184 00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:50,011 That kid's shitting all over his house. 185 00:06:50,095 --> 00:06:51,471 He's not seeing his friends. 186 00:06:51,554 --> 00:06:53,514 He hasn't porked his wife in over a year. 187 00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:55,016 He's over. 188 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,810 Dark take on a good friend's life. 189 00:06:56,893 --> 00:06:59,396 He is having a little birthday party for his kids next weekend. 190 00:06:59,479 --> 00:07:01,522 You guys want to go? Could be fun. 191 00:07:01,606 --> 00:07:03,191 Hard pass. 192 00:07:03,275 --> 00:07:05,735 You really thinking about going to a baby party? 193 00:07:05,818 --> 00:07:07,195 There's gonna be a bounce house. 194 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,323 [both] Bounce house. 195 00:07:09,406 --> 00:07:11,199 Could you imagine being a kid 196 00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:12,658 and being entertained by this stuff? 197 00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:13,910 I mean, come on. Ooh, what's this? 198 00:07:13,993 --> 00:07:15,328 [toy frog croaks] 199 00:07:15,412 --> 00:07:17,456 [both laugh] 200 00:07:17,497 --> 00:07:20,375 - Let me see that. - No, I'm not done. 201 00:07:20,459 --> 00:07:22,419 Oh, my God, is that one of those pianos 202 00:07:22,502 --> 00:07:23,878 you play with your feet? 203 00:07:23,962 --> 00:07:25,297 I'll be right back. 204 00:07:26,423 --> 00:07:28,633 - [bells jingle] - Cool! 205 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:29,926 [toy frog croaks] 206 00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:32,011 [piano notes playing] 207 00:07:32,095 --> 00:07:33,679 [toy frog croaking] 208 00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:35,265 Dev? 209 00:07:35,348 --> 00:07:37,016 - Hey, Alex. - Hey. 210 00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:38,726 What are you doing here? 211 00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:40,896 I'm just getting some stuff for my baby. 212 00:07:40,979 --> 00:07:43,064 What? You have a baby? 213 00:07:43,148 --> 00:07:44,732 - Yeah. - It's, like, your baby? 214 00:07:44,816 --> 00:07:45,817 Yeah. 215 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,486 That's crazy. 216 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:51,323 Who's the guy that, um... did the... The dad... person? 217 00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:53,032 It's my husband, Dylan, yes. 218 00:07:53,116 --> 00:07:55,118 Dylan. 219 00:07:55,201 --> 00:07:56,661 Cool. 220 00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,704 When did... When did you guys meet? 221 00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:01,917 About a month after our thing. 222 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,418 Oh, that's cool. 223 00:08:03,502 --> 00:08:04,752 Yeah, he's great. He's a lawyer. 224 00:08:04,836 --> 00:08:06,129 He's from Connecticut. 225 00:08:06,212 --> 00:08:07,880 And we just bought a house in Montauk, 226 00:08:07,964 --> 00:08:09,215 which is really great, 227 00:08:09,299 --> 00:08:10,591 because we both like the outdoors, 228 00:08:10,675 --> 00:08:11,759 camping, hiking, all that. 229 00:08:11,843 --> 00:08:14,137 Cool. That's great. 230 00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:16,222 Sounds like a nice white family. 231 00:08:16,306 --> 00:08:17,265 He's black. 232 00:08:17,349 --> 00:08:18,766 Ah. 233 00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:20,643 Well, that's nice, too. 234 00:08:20,726 --> 00:08:24,063 You know, good for you, dating more minorities. 235 00:08:24,856 --> 00:08:27,775 [harsh piano notes playing] 236 00:08:27,859 --> 00:08:29,944 ♪ ♪ 237 00:08:30,028 --> 00:08:31,530 Dev. 238 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,365 Did you hear me banging out that Chopin for you? 239 00:08:33,448 --> 00:08:35,450 Yeah. Hey, Arnold, this is Alex. 240 00:08:35,534 --> 00:08:36,659 Alex, this is Arnold. 241 00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:38,453 - Hi. - DiGiorno. 242 00:08:38,537 --> 00:08:40,663 Uh, Alex is here buying some gifts for her baby. 243 00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:42,457 Oh, really? What's the name of that cutie? 244 00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:44,000 Lucien. 245 00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:46,085 Lucien? 246 00:08:46,169 --> 00:08:47,546 You named your baby Lucien? 247 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,047 I did. Yes. 248 00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:51,341 That's my lizard's name. 249 00:08:51,424 --> 00:08:53,843 What a small world. 250 00:08:53,926 --> 00:08:55,387 He passed away recently. 251 00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,305 He was run over by an ice cream truck. 252 00:08:57,389 --> 00:08:58,973 Sad story. 253 00:08:59,057 --> 00:09:01,393 Wow, that's... I'm sorry. That's terrible. 254 00:09:01,476 --> 00:09:03,353 - Thank you. - Um... 255 00:09:03,436 --> 00:09:06,481 So what brings you in here? Do you have a kid? 256 00:09:06,565 --> 00:09:09,025 No, um, we're going to a friend's baby party, 257 00:09:09,108 --> 00:09:10,569 so we're just grabbing a gift. 258 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:11,694 Bounce house. 259 00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:13,446 Oh, cool. Okay. 260 00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:15,990 Well, it was really good to see you guys. 261 00:09:16,074 --> 00:09:19,495 And sorry about your lizard. 262 00:09:19,578 --> 00:09:20,954 - 'Preesh. - Bye. 263 00:09:21,037 --> 00:09:23,582 Bye. 264 00:09:23,623 --> 00:09:26,585 [toy dinosaur roaring] 265 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,849 [upbeat hip-hop music playing] 266 00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,893 ♪ ♪ 267 00:09:43,976 --> 00:09:45,769 I can't believe Alex has a kid now. 268 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,688 I've had sex with that person. 269 00:09:47,772 --> 00:09:49,690 And now a baby's come out of that same vagina. 270 00:09:49,774 --> 00:09:51,610 Yeah, it's crazy to think that that baby 271 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,654 has been in the same spot as my little bud's hardware. 272 00:09:54,737 --> 00:09:56,281 - It's crazy, bro. - [Kyle] Welcome, guys. 273 00:09:56,364 --> 00:09:57,449 - Hey. - Hey. 274 00:09:57,532 --> 00:09:58,699 Hi. Thanks for coming. 275 00:09:58,783 --> 00:10:00,701 What's up, birthday boy? 276 00:10:00,785 --> 00:10:02,745 Wow, are all those presents for Zach? 277 00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:06,082 Man, my last birthday, all I got was a wine opener from Arnold. 278 00:10:06,165 --> 00:10:07,542 I've been meaning to talk to you about that. 279 00:10:07,626 --> 00:10:09,168 I borrowed it, and I broke it 280 00:10:09,252 --> 00:10:10,795 on this big beautiful bottle of Chablis. 281 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,672 - I'm sorry. - [laughs] 282 00:10:12,755 --> 00:10:14,675 My dude's one, he's already got more friends than you. 283 00:10:14,757 --> 00:10:15,967 Yeah, you got to step up your game, man. 284 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:16,968 [chuckles] 285 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,052 Oh, hey, Hilary. 286 00:10:18,136 --> 00:10:19,429 Hey, we'll talk soon, okay? 287 00:10:19,512 --> 00:10:20,513 All right. Good to see you guys. 288 00:10:20,597 --> 00:10:22,848 Thanks for having us. 289 00:10:22,932 --> 00:10:24,976 You're that guy from the Go-Gurt commercial, right? 290 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,060 Uh, yeah. 291 00:10:26,144 --> 00:10:27,646 I knew it! 292 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:28,938 Yo, so you do a spot like that, 293 00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:30,398 you get a hookup on Go-Gurt, right? 294 00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:31,983 Uh, not really. 295 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,776 Dude, you got to talk to your agent about that. 296 00:10:33,859 --> 00:10:37,321 My boy did a Combos spot... Combos for life. 297 00:10:37,405 --> 00:10:38,573 Wow. Cool. 298 00:10:38,657 --> 00:10:41,451 Yeah, but he changed, man. 299 00:10:43,662 --> 00:10:44,912 All right, y'all have a good one. 300 00:10:45,037 --> 00:10:46,372 See you. 301 00:10:46,456 --> 00:10:47,624 They're still airing that spot? 302 00:10:47,707 --> 00:10:49,041 Yeah, dude. 303 00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:50,126 It's covered my rent for years now. 304 00:10:50,209 --> 00:10:51,670 Dude, that's some easy money. 305 00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,838 "Hey, when you're on the go, grab a Go-Gurt." 306 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,047 I could have done that. 307 00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,508 No, no, no. It's like this. 308 00:10:56,591 --> 00:10:58,426 "If you're on the go, grab a Go-Gurt." 309 00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:00,178 Damn, that's pretty good. 310 00:11:00,261 --> 00:11:02,681 It's actually making me crave a 'Gurt right now. 311 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,432 Listen, that bounce house is calling my name. 312 00:11:04,516 --> 00:11:05,600 I'll see you later, dude. 313 00:11:05,684 --> 00:11:07,310 Excuse me. 314 00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:08,520 Excuse me! 315 00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:10,689 Coming through, excuse me! 316 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,692 [kids giggling] 317 00:11:15,694 --> 00:11:17,903 Yeah! Yeah! 318 00:11:20,615 --> 00:11:22,575 Dude, you're a dad now. 319 00:11:22,659 --> 00:11:23,909 That's crazy. 320 00:11:23,993 --> 00:11:24,994 How's fatherhood? 321 00:11:25,077 --> 00:11:26,663 Oh, it's great. 322 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,748 I feel like I'm part of something bigger now, you know? 323 00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:31,167 Like I've got this deeper sense of purpose. 324 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,711 Mm-hmm. 325 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,296 But it's got to be so much work, right? 326 00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:37,674 I mean, don't you miss going out and all that stuff? 327 00:11:37,757 --> 00:11:39,300 Uh... 328 00:11:40,926 --> 00:11:42,220 Okay, so the other night, 329 00:11:42,303 --> 00:11:44,972 Zach starts crying at 4:00 a.m. 330 00:11:45,056 --> 00:11:46,182 I'm so tired. 331 00:11:46,265 --> 00:11:47,475 I'm pissed. 332 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:48,727 But I get up. 333 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,311 I go over, I turn the light on, 334 00:11:50,395 --> 00:11:51,854 pick him up... 335 00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:55,191 and at one point, 336 00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:57,735 he looks up at me, and he just smiles 337 00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:59,404 and starts laughing at me. 338 00:11:59,487 --> 00:12:01,822 And then we both just start laughing. 339 00:12:01,906 --> 00:12:05,118 I'm laughing with this person I created, 340 00:12:05,201 --> 00:12:07,245 right, with my kid, 341 00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:09,247 this person I'm gonna watch grow up 342 00:12:09,330 --> 00:12:11,624 and do great things one day... hopefully. 343 00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:13,376 I don't know, man. 344 00:12:13,459 --> 00:12:15,628 I just can't think of one night of partying or drinking 345 00:12:15,712 --> 00:12:19,257 that made me feel even one millionth of that feeling. 346 00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:20,633 Fuck. 347 00:12:20,717 --> 00:12:22,343 Highlight of my year was when I crashed 348 00:12:22,427 --> 00:12:25,472 Zachary Quinto's Halloween party. 349 00:12:25,555 --> 00:12:27,014 [dreamy orchestral music] 350 00:12:27,098 --> 00:12:32,186 ♪ ♪ 351 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:45,491 Remember, your education is the key to a prosperous future. 352 00:12:45,575 --> 00:12:48,369 I'm really proud of both of you. 353 00:12:48,453 --> 00:12:51,122 Good day, milady. Fancy a cocktail this evening? 354 00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,248 Get away from me. 355 00:12:52,331 --> 00:12:53,833 I don't have any spare change. 356 00:12:53,916 --> 00:12:55,334 No, no. I'm not homeless. 357 00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:56,544 I'm just an older single man 358 00:12:56,628 --> 00:12:58,129 that's never settled down. 359 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:03,509 ♪ ♪ 360 00:13:05,804 --> 00:13:08,139 Hey. I just talked to Kyle. 361 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,557 You could not have been more wrong. 362 00:13:09,641 --> 00:13:11,058 He seems so happy. 363 00:13:11,142 --> 00:13:12,893 I can't talk right now, man. 364 00:13:12,977 --> 00:13:14,604 You're distracting me from my bounce. 365 00:13:14,687 --> 00:13:16,147 Excuse me, sir! 366 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,107 Can you please get out of the bounce house? 367 00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:20,234 You just bounced out my son Tristan. 368 00:13:20,318 --> 00:13:21,820 With all due respect, ma'am, 369 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,279 your son's 20 pounds 370 00:13:23,362 --> 00:13:25,740 and he encroached on my bounce space. 371 00:13:25,824 --> 00:13:28,534 That's not on me. That's on Tristan. 372 00:13:28,618 --> 00:13:29,952 Ah! 373 00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:34,749 Hey, Amanda. What's up? 374 00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,334 Hey, Dev. Hi. 375 00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:37,877 Hey, what's up, guys? 376 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,587 Lila, what's going on? How are you? 377 00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:41,130 I heard you got married recently. 378 00:13:41,213 --> 00:13:42,340 How come I didn't get invited to the wedding? 379 00:13:42,423 --> 00:13:44,174 I didn't get married. 380 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,218 That's not what I heard. I heard you have a husband. 381 00:13:46,302 --> 00:13:48,220 It was a small ceremony, just family and friends. 382 00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:49,347 Fine, whatever. I get it. 383 00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:51,724 I'm not married! 384 00:13:51,808 --> 00:13:52,933 Okay, well, I guess I'll just keep 385 00:13:53,017 --> 00:13:54,435 that blender for myself, then. 386 00:13:54,519 --> 00:13:56,103 Grant, what's up, man? 387 00:13:56,187 --> 00:13:57,146 Farts! 388 00:13:57,229 --> 00:13:58,314 [laughs] 389 00:13:58,397 --> 00:13:59,565 All right, well, that's cool. 390 00:13:59,649 --> 00:14:00,983 Um, you want to arm wrestle? 391 00:14:01,066 --> 00:14:02,025 - Sure. - All right. 392 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:03,486 - Oh, God. - [laughs] 393 00:14:03,569 --> 00:14:05,154 - Oh, my arm! - [laughing] 394 00:14:05,237 --> 00:14:06,656 - Ohh! - [laughing] 395 00:14:06,739 --> 00:14:08,407 You're so weak! 396 00:14:08,491 --> 00:14:10,576 All right, you guys. Why don't you get some snacks? 397 00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:11,786 - Yeah. - Ooh, look at the spread. 398 00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:13,037 That's crazy. 399 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,997 Grant is, like, a little dude now. 400 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,709 Yeah, he is, but he can still be a real dick sometimes. 401 00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,752 Come on. He's always nice to me. 402 00:14:19,836 --> 00:14:21,420 That's 'cause you see him for, like, five minutes a month. 403 00:14:21,504 --> 00:14:22,547 If you saw him all the time, 404 00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:24,632 he would, like, take a shit in your shoe or something. 405 00:14:24,716 --> 00:14:26,008 - What? - Yeah. 406 00:14:26,091 --> 00:14:27,635 Grant took a shit in my shoe last week. 407 00:14:27,719 --> 00:14:28,887 It's his new thing. He calls it "poop shoes." 408 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,513 I wasn't on board initially, 409 00:14:30,596 --> 00:14:32,223 but "poop shoes," that's just good branding. 410 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,099 Yeah, right now, James is out of town. 411 00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:35,768 I got them solo. Ugh. 412 00:14:35,852 --> 00:14:37,395 It is a real bear. 413 00:14:37,478 --> 00:14:38,979 Hey, do you want to come by for dinner? 414 00:14:39,063 --> 00:14:40,105 Nathan's coming over. 415 00:14:40,189 --> 00:14:41,942 He's gonna bring some sandwiches from Parm. 416 00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:43,234 I'm into that, yeah, for sure. 417 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:44,235 - All right, cool. - Hey, Grant. 418 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,528 You want some cake? 419 00:14:45,611 --> 00:14:46,738 - Sure! - Ooh, cake. 420 00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:47,822 There you go. 421 00:14:47,906 --> 00:14:49,657 Say thank... Grant! 422 00:14:49,741 --> 00:14:52,201 - [laughs] - Good arm. 423 00:14:53,202 --> 00:14:54,871 What else has been going on with you, man? 424 00:14:54,954 --> 00:14:56,288 Not much. 425 00:14:56,372 --> 00:14:58,416 Ooh, did you see that new Denzel Washington movie yet? 426 00:14:58,499 --> 00:15:00,000 Nope. 427 00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:01,544 You know what I have seen? The Kentucky Penguin. 428 00:15:01,627 --> 00:15:02,545 What's that about? 429 00:15:02,628 --> 00:15:03,880 What is it about? 430 00:15:03,963 --> 00:15:05,548 It's an animated kids' movie. 431 00:15:05,631 --> 00:15:08,175 It's, like, bright garbage for an hour and a half. 432 00:15:08,259 --> 00:15:09,719 [cell phone beeps] 433 00:15:09,802 --> 00:15:11,095 Oh, damn it. I forgot. 434 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:12,346 I am supposed to go to a meeting. 435 00:15:12,430 --> 00:15:13,806 I'm gonna have to cancel 436 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:15,266 or... I don't know... take these guys with me. 437 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,434 Oh, hey, why don't I watch them 438 00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:18,060 while you go to the meeting 439 00:15:18,143 --> 00:15:19,437 and we'll just meet up later at your place? 440 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,272 Are you sure that you can watch them? 441 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,274 Yeah, I'll just take them to the park or something. 442 00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:24,692 Hey, don't you guys want to hang out 443 00:15:24,776 --> 00:15:26,277 with me for a little bit instead of your mom? 444 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,528 - Yeah! - Yeah! You're awesome! 445 00:15:27,612 --> 00:15:29,029 Oh, all right. You win. 446 00:15:29,113 --> 00:15:31,073 So you guys hang with Uncle Dev for a while, 447 00:15:31,156 --> 00:15:32,157 and then I'll see you later. 448 00:15:32,241 --> 00:15:33,158 Okay? Yeah. 449 00:15:33,242 --> 00:15:34,577 All right, cool. 450 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,412 I'll text you if anything comes up. 451 00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:38,205 Okay, just text if one goes missing or there's blood... 452 00:15:38,289 --> 00:15:39,206 Like, a lot of blood. 453 00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:40,583 - Got it. Cool. - Okay. 454 00:15:40,666 --> 00:15:42,042 - Bye, Mommy! - All right, behave. 455 00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:43,920 All right, who wants to go play in the park 456 00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:45,087 for a little bit? 457 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:46,631 [both] Yeah! 458 00:15:46,714 --> 00:15:48,215 - You're the man! - Yeah, you're the man! 459 00:15:48,299 --> 00:15:50,342 Oh, thanks. Cool. All right, let's go. 460 00:15:50,426 --> 00:15:53,345 [playful music] 461 00:15:53,429 --> 00:15:54,639 ♪ ♪ 462 00:15:54,722 --> 00:15:55,640 Wait for me! 463 00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:59,894 ♪ ♪ 464 00:15:59,978 --> 00:16:03,731 [man singing in French] 465 00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,107 Awesome! 466 00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:07,401 ♪ ♪ 467 00:16:07,485 --> 00:16:09,153 We're gonna get you, Dev! 468 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:10,822 - Yeah! - Aah! 469 00:16:10,905 --> 00:16:16,285 ♪ ♪ 470 00:16:16,368 --> 00:16:17,286 I did it! 471 00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:18,203 All right, guys. 472 00:16:18,287 --> 00:16:20,205 It looks like it's gonna start raining again. 473 00:16:20,289 --> 00:16:21,749 We can go back to the apartment, 474 00:16:21,833 --> 00:16:24,084 or we can get some ice cream. 475 00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:25,336 [both] Yeah! 476 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:26,963 Awesome. 477 00:16:27,046 --> 00:16:28,923 I heard about this new place... This gelato spot. 478 00:16:29,007 --> 00:16:30,675 It's supposed to be really good. You want to go there? 479 00:16:30,758 --> 00:16:32,802 - 16 Handles! - 16 Handles? Frozen yogurt? 480 00:16:32,885 --> 00:16:34,637 No, that's ice cream for losers. Let's go to my spot. 481 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:35,638 It's supposed to be the creamiest. 482 00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:37,473 [both] No! 483 00:16:37,556 --> 00:16:39,684 All right, fine. We'll go there. Let's go. 484 00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,856 Black lady! Chinese man! 485 00:16:44,939 --> 00:16:48,484 Hey, hey, hey, don't yell out people's ethnicities. 486 00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:50,695 Sorry. 487 00:16:50,778 --> 00:16:53,280 All right, frozen yogurt. We made it. 488 00:16:53,364 --> 00:16:55,825 - What flavor do you want? - What do they have? 489 00:16:55,908 --> 00:16:57,451 They're all written up there on the board. 490 00:16:57,535 --> 00:16:58,953 I can't read. 491 00:16:59,037 --> 00:17:00,329 Ooh, I didn't think about that. 492 00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:01,998 Well, how about I read them off? 493 00:17:02,081 --> 00:17:03,582 When you hear what you want, you stop me, okay? 494 00:17:03,666 --> 00:17:04,959 Okay. 495 00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:08,128 They have vanilla, chocolate, 496 00:17:08,212 --> 00:17:10,006 strawberry, cookies and cream, 497 00:17:10,089 --> 00:17:11,966 bubble gum, butter pecan, 498 00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:13,384 mint chocolate chip, 499 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,095 rainbow sherbet... 500 00:17:16,178 --> 00:17:17,096 Nothing? 501 00:17:17,179 --> 00:17:19,598 Chocolate chip, coffee, 502 00:17:19,682 --> 00:17:21,726 peanut butter cup, 503 00:17:21,809 --> 00:17:22,727 strawberry cheesecake. 504 00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:23,936 That's it. 505 00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,771 - I want vanilla. - Yeah, me, too. 506 00:17:25,855 --> 00:17:27,523 That was the first one. Why didn't you stop me? 507 00:17:27,606 --> 00:17:28,983 I like vanilla. 508 00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:29,942 Fine. You guys get vanilla. 509 00:17:30,026 --> 00:17:31,694 I'm gonna try the strawberry cheesecake. 510 00:17:31,777 --> 00:17:32,904 No, you have to get vanilla. 511 00:17:32,987 --> 00:17:33,905 We all get vanilla. 512 00:17:33,988 --> 00:17:35,155 Vanilla. 513 00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:36,448 But I want to try the cheesecake. 514 00:17:36,532 --> 00:17:38,283 [both] No! Vanilla! 515 00:17:38,367 --> 00:17:41,079 Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! 516 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,915 Another reason I want to be a spy is, 517 00:17:43,998 --> 00:17:45,583 I'll get a laser gun. 518 00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,209 [makes pinging and whooshing noises] 519 00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:48,502 Whoa. 520 00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:50,629 Dev, I have to use the bathroom. 521 00:17:50,713 --> 00:17:52,381 All right, well, can we go at your house? 522 00:17:52,464 --> 00:17:53,632 We're almost there. 523 00:17:53,716 --> 00:17:55,217 Now! 524 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,886 All right. 525 00:17:56,969 --> 00:17:57,887 Come on. 526 00:17:59,263 --> 00:18:00,222 All right, that's you. 527 00:18:00,305 --> 00:18:01,306 Go for it. 528 00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:02,767 No, I want you to come. 529 00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:04,435 In the bathroom? No, I can't do that. 530 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,020 That's frowned upon in the adult world. 531 00:18:06,104 --> 00:18:07,146 But I want you to come. 532 00:18:07,229 --> 00:18:09,148 I can't go in there by myself. 533 00:18:09,231 --> 00:18:10,983 I'll be right here. It'll be fine. 534 00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:13,027 But it's scary when the door closes. 535 00:18:13,111 --> 00:18:14,862 I get scared. 536 00:18:14,946 --> 00:18:19,033 All right, let me see if one of these ladies will go, okay? 537 00:18:19,117 --> 00:18:21,786 Um, excuse me, madam, 538 00:18:21,869 --> 00:18:24,580 would you mind accompanying this young lady I'm babysitting 539 00:18:24,663 --> 00:18:25,664 into the bathroom? 540 00:18:25,748 --> 00:18:26,916 She's a little scared. 541 00:18:26,999 --> 00:18:28,084 Why didn't you ask me? 542 00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:30,502 Am I not enough of a madam? 543 00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:32,546 Uh, no, I just thought she looked like 544 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,214 more of a mom-type person. 545 00:18:34,298 --> 00:18:35,758 Oh, so you think I'm old? 546 00:18:35,841 --> 00:18:37,135 Aw, come on. I didn't say old. 547 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,385 I said mom-type. 548 00:18:38,469 --> 00:18:39,720 I didn't mean anything by that. 549 00:18:39,804 --> 00:18:41,931 I mean, come on. Just... Do you mind? 550 00:18:42,014 --> 00:18:43,849 It would really... I just don't want... 551 00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:46,268 I need to go now. 552 00:18:46,351 --> 00:18:47,645 [sighs] 553 00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:49,939 All right, well, guess I'm doing this. 554 00:18:50,022 --> 00:18:51,149 Thanks. 555 00:18:54,485 --> 00:18:56,236 You know, 556 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,447 I understand why you're not helping me. 557 00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:00,116 But I just want you to know in my heart, 558 00:19:00,199 --> 00:19:02,994 I meant no offense to either of you. 559 00:19:03,077 --> 00:19:04,328 Please watch Grant. 560 00:19:07,289 --> 00:19:08,707 So... 561 00:19:08,791 --> 00:19:10,375 what exactly do you need me to do here? 562 00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:12,628 Just keep me company. 563 00:19:12,711 --> 00:19:13,879 So don't clean up or anything? 564 00:19:13,963 --> 00:19:14,880 No. 565 00:19:14,964 --> 00:19:15,881 I'm a big girl. 566 00:19:15,965 --> 00:19:17,508 Great. I got that. 567 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,051 All right, so I'll just stand in the corner, 568 00:19:19,135 --> 00:19:20,260 and you do your thing, okay? 569 00:19:20,344 --> 00:19:21,553 Mm-hmm. 570 00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:22,888 And, you know, don't tell anyone 571 00:19:22,972 --> 00:19:23,889 I took you to the bathroom. 572 00:19:23,973 --> 00:19:25,224 It's a little weird. 573 00:19:25,307 --> 00:19:27,351 - I know it's weird. - All right. 574 00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:28,811 Go for it. 575 00:19:30,354 --> 00:19:31,897 Uh, you know, I'm gonna make a noise 576 00:19:31,981 --> 00:19:33,357 so I don't hear what's happening, all right? 577 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,234 - Okay. - Don't get scared, okay? 578 00:19:35,317 --> 00:19:38,696 - All right. I'm not scared. - [makes buzzing noise] 579 00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:49,373 [toilet flushes] 580 00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:52,417 - Done? - Yeah. 581 00:19:52,501 --> 00:19:54,378 Cool. Wash your hands. 582 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:55,713 Let's get the fuck out of here. 583 00:19:55,796 --> 00:19:57,923 - Yeah! - I hate melons! 584 00:19:58,007 --> 00:19:59,925 [both screaming] 585 00:20:00,009 --> 00:20:01,593 Guys, we're two minutes from your house. 586 00:20:01,677 --> 00:20:02,803 Do you really need to do this? 587 00:20:02,887 --> 00:20:04,513 - Yes, let's go! - Yeah, fun! 588 00:20:04,596 --> 00:20:07,766 [both yelling] 589 00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:09,185 Ah, shit, okay. 590 00:20:09,268 --> 00:20:10,644 We got to go get some beer for your mom. 591 00:20:10,728 --> 00:20:12,897 Come on, let's go. 592 00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:15,233 Hmm, summer ale. 593 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,026 Hey, where's Grant? 594 00:20:17,109 --> 00:20:18,069 I don't know. 595 00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:19,653 Grant? 596 00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:20,779 Grant. 597 00:20:20,863 --> 00:20:22,198 Grant! 598 00:20:22,281 --> 00:20:23,199 Hey, Grant! 599 00:20:23,282 --> 00:20:24,449 Where are you? 600 00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:26,077 Excuse me. Is he with you, sir? 601 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,453 Uh, yeah, he's my friend's kid. 602 00:20:28,537 --> 00:20:29,454 Everything okay? 603 00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:31,165 He's taking his penis 604 00:20:31,249 --> 00:20:32,875 and rubbing it on all the packages of frozen waffles. 605 00:20:32,958 --> 00:20:34,375 Wha... Grant! 606 00:20:34,459 --> 00:20:35,878 You can't do that! Why are you doing that? 607 00:20:35,961 --> 00:20:37,213 It's cold, and when I put 608 00:20:37,296 --> 00:20:39,006 my wiener against it, it feels good. 609 00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:40,883 [sighs] 610 00:20:40,966 --> 00:20:42,593 I'm gonna need you to pay for the waffles, sir. 611 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,344 All right, fine. Just give it to me. I'll buy it. 612 00:20:44,428 --> 00:20:45,596 No, I'm gonna need you to pay for all 30 packages 613 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:46,764 in the display case. 614 00:20:46,847 --> 00:20:47,848 30 packages? Come on, man. 615 00:20:47,932 --> 00:20:49,433 He was gone for a minute. 616 00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,018 He didn't put his thing on all those packages. 617 00:20:51,102 --> 00:20:52,352 We can't sell waffles that have made contact 618 00:20:52,436 --> 00:20:53,938 with a young boy's genitals. 619 00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:55,564 Just pay for the waffles. 620 00:20:55,647 --> 00:20:57,608 All right, fine. I'll pay for it. 621 00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:59,693 I can pay for it. I have a wallet. 622 00:20:59,777 --> 00:21:00,986 Whose wallet is this? 623 00:21:01,070 --> 00:21:02,154 I took it from the party. 624 00:21:02,238 --> 00:21:03,864 This is Kyle's wallet. 625 00:21:03,948 --> 00:21:05,866 He went to the bathroom with me 626 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:07,701 and said not to tell anybody. 627 00:21:10,955 --> 00:21:13,457 Goddamn. 628 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,499 Oof. 629 00:21:16,627 --> 00:21:18,170 Hey, man. 630 00:21:18,254 --> 00:21:21,924 Sorry, I guess Grant stole your wallet earlier. 631 00:21:22,007 --> 00:21:24,718 Oh, thanks. Just put it anywhere. 632 00:21:24,802 --> 00:21:26,220 All right. 633 00:21:26,304 --> 00:21:28,889 You mind if I use your restroom real quick? 634 00:21:28,973 --> 00:21:30,766 Yeah, it's upstairs. 635 00:21:30,849 --> 00:21:32,476 I'll show you. 636 00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:34,478 Thanks. 637 00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:37,606 Hey, you guys, you sit here. 638 00:21:37,689 --> 00:21:40,067 You don't touch anything. You don't steal anything. 639 00:21:40,151 --> 00:21:42,694 Okay, and Grant, you stay away from the freezer. 640 00:21:48,033 --> 00:21:51,120 Man, I was just watching those guys for, like, an hour, 641 00:21:51,203 --> 00:21:52,246 and I'm destroyed. 642 00:21:52,330 --> 00:21:53,789 You had a kid for a year. 643 00:21:53,872 --> 00:21:55,457 How do you do it? What's your secret? 644 00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:58,127 My secret is, I'm getting a divorce. 645 00:21:59,753 --> 00:22:02,298 What? Are you serious? 646 00:22:02,381 --> 00:22:04,342 We've just been dealing with some issues lately. 647 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:07,011 We tried to figure it out. I don't think it's gonna work. 648 00:22:07,094 --> 00:22:08,720 I thought everything was going really well. 649 00:22:08,804 --> 00:22:10,430 What about all that stuff you said earlier? 650 00:22:10,514 --> 00:22:11,473 Oh, come on, man. 651 00:22:11,556 --> 00:22:12,891 That's bullshit you say at a party. 652 00:22:12,975 --> 00:22:14,518 What am I supposed to say? 653 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,312 I don't sleep. I haven't fucked in a year. 654 00:22:16,395 --> 00:22:19,315 I never see my friends. I hate my wife. 655 00:22:19,398 --> 00:22:21,066 God. 656 00:22:21,150 --> 00:22:25,112 Yeah, I guess that's not really good party... 657 00:22:25,196 --> 00:22:27,739 What's the word? 658 00:22:27,823 --> 00:22:29,783 Party... 659 00:22:29,867 --> 00:22:30,784 fodder. 660 00:22:30,868 --> 00:22:32,328 Fodder, yeah. 661 00:22:32,411 --> 00:22:33,745 It's tough, man. 662 00:22:33,829 --> 00:22:35,373 We'd only been dating six months. 663 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:36,874 Brenda got pregnant, 664 00:22:36,957 --> 00:22:38,750 and we really thought we could pull it off. 665 00:22:38,834 --> 00:22:40,002 It started off okay, 666 00:22:40,085 --> 00:22:41,837 but then things got a little rocky. 667 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,964 It was just too soon. 668 00:22:44,048 --> 00:22:45,465 And then you throw a kid in the mix... 669 00:22:45,549 --> 00:22:46,591 And Zach's awesome. 670 00:22:46,675 --> 00:22:48,219 We couldn't love him any more, 671 00:22:48,302 --> 00:22:51,722 but it just wasn't enough to keep us together. 672 00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:53,098 Anyway, here's the bathroom. 673 00:22:53,182 --> 00:22:55,434 - All right. - [sighs] 674 00:22:55,517 --> 00:22:57,978 Man, it smells really nice in there. 675 00:22:58,062 --> 00:23:00,189 You got to hit me with the deets on that candle. 676 00:23:00,272 --> 00:23:02,566 Sorry. 677 00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:04,360 It is a great candle. 678 00:23:04,443 --> 00:23:06,195 [dark electronic rock music] 679 00:23:06,278 --> 00:23:10,157 ♪ ♪ 680 00:23:17,122 --> 00:23:18,707 Daddy's home! Daddy's home! 681 00:23:18,790 --> 00:23:19,917 We found the flour! 682 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,460 You can't hide it from us! 683 00:23:21,543 --> 00:23:23,795 [screams] 684 00:23:23,879 --> 00:23:27,507 ♪ ♪ 685 00:23:39,061 --> 00:23:41,688 - Put your seat belts on! - [screams] 686 00:23:41,772 --> 00:23:45,025 - [kids screaming] - What are you doing? 687 00:23:45,109 --> 00:23:46,277 [laughs] 688 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,569 Cute kids, idiot. 689 00:23:47,652 --> 00:23:48,862 [horn honks] 690 00:23:51,907 --> 00:23:53,158 [Amanda] Guess who's home. 691 00:23:53,242 --> 00:23:54,285 [both] Mommy! 692 00:23:54,368 --> 00:23:55,911 Hey! 693 00:23:55,994 --> 00:23:57,579 Hey, Nathan's coming with the sandwiches. 694 00:23:57,662 --> 00:23:59,623 - Oh, great. - Hey, penguin. 695 00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:00,540 How did it go? 696 00:24:00,624 --> 00:24:01,625 Oh, my God. 697 00:24:01,708 --> 00:24:03,294 It felt like ten years. 698 00:24:03,377 --> 00:24:05,379 Anytime I turned around, they were just causing mayhem. 699 00:24:05,463 --> 00:24:06,797 I'm sure you did fine. 700 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,632 I didn't see any blood, so that's good. 701 00:24:08,715 --> 00:24:10,426 Hey, I got sandwiches. 702 00:24:10,509 --> 00:24:11,760 [both] Nathan! 703 00:24:11,843 --> 00:24:13,095 - Hi, how's it going? - Yay. 704 00:24:13,178 --> 00:24:14,554 You guys hungry? 705 00:24:14,638 --> 00:24:16,515 Yeah. Here, give me those. 706 00:24:16,598 --> 00:24:17,891 There you go. 707 00:24:17,975 --> 00:24:19,518 - And I'll go get the beer. - Okay. 708 00:24:19,601 --> 00:24:20,811 You guys, come with me. 709 00:24:20,894 --> 00:24:22,438 Hey, what's happening? You okay? 710 00:24:22,521 --> 00:24:25,441 I just watched Grant and Lila for a couple hours. 711 00:24:25,524 --> 00:24:26,525 Jesus. 712 00:24:26,608 --> 00:24:27,901 It was so crazy. 713 00:24:27,985 --> 00:24:29,153 They're just, like, running around 714 00:24:29,236 --> 00:24:30,321 and screaming and yelling, 715 00:24:30,404 --> 00:24:31,322 causing a ruckus. 716 00:24:31,405 --> 00:24:32,323 That's rough, man. 717 00:24:32,406 --> 00:24:34,325 That's why I enjoy being the uncle, you know? 718 00:24:34,408 --> 00:24:35,742 Like, 'cause you just show up. 719 00:24:35,826 --> 00:24:37,119 You hug 'em. You kiss 'em. 720 00:24:37,202 --> 00:24:38,745 You play with 'em. You make a mess. 721 00:24:38,829 --> 00:24:40,998 And then when they start getting gross and being dicks, 722 00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:43,000 you're like, "I'm getting the fuck out of here." 723 00:24:43,083 --> 00:24:44,626 - And you do. You leave. - Yeah. 724 00:24:44,709 --> 00:24:47,421 Yeah, I get why you and Kate don't have kids. 725 00:24:47,505 --> 00:24:49,465 Yeah, it can definitely be very nice. 726 00:24:49,548 --> 00:24:51,883 You know, we have a lot of time to ourselves. 727 00:24:51,967 --> 00:24:53,593 Are you guys doing anything fun for the summer? 728 00:24:53,677 --> 00:24:56,263 Yeah, we are going to Italy. 729 00:24:56,347 --> 00:24:57,931 We rented a villa in the Amalfi Coast. 730 00:24:58,015 --> 00:24:59,724 That sounds amazing. 731 00:24:59,808 --> 00:25:02,144 You know what Amanda and James are doing this summer? 732 00:25:02,227 --> 00:25:04,062 They're taking a trip to Costco... 733 00:25:04,146 --> 00:25:05,772 Yeah, to buy a bunch of grape juice 734 00:25:05,856 --> 00:25:08,817 and diapers or whatever fucking kid shit they have to buy. 735 00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:10,235 I love Costco. 736 00:25:10,319 --> 00:25:12,154 They're nice to me over there. 737 00:25:12,237 --> 00:25:13,905 Like, they act like they know me, 738 00:25:13,989 --> 00:25:16,783 even though, like, thousands of people go in there every day. 739 00:25:16,867 --> 00:25:18,369 You know, they always are like, 740 00:25:18,452 --> 00:25:19,661 "Hey, that's that guy." 741 00:25:19,786 --> 00:25:20,954 - [chuckles] - I'm there a lot. 742 00:25:21,038 --> 00:25:22,414 Hey, guys. Get ready. 743 00:25:22,498 --> 00:25:23,583 These Parm sandwiches are delicious. 744 00:25:23,707 --> 00:25:25,125 Oh, my God. 745 00:25:25,209 --> 00:25:26,960 Thanks so much for grabbing these, Nathan. 746 00:25:27,044 --> 00:25:28,546 Dude, I'm so hungry. 747 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:31,298 Mommy, we finished our sandwiches. 748 00:25:31,382 --> 00:25:33,509 Oh, you made that for me. 749 00:25:33,592 --> 00:25:35,469 Mm-hmm. 750 00:25:35,553 --> 00:25:38,096 It's our first sandwich ever. We want you to have it. 751 00:25:38,180 --> 00:25:40,432 It has peanut butter and lettuce. 752 00:25:40,516 --> 00:25:41,933 I added the ketchup. 753 00:25:42,017 --> 00:25:45,396 Oh, wow. This looks delicious. 754 00:25:45,479 --> 00:25:47,356 You know, the sandwiches look pretty good, 755 00:25:47,439 --> 00:25:51,193 but I think I'm gonna have to go with Grant and Lila's instead. 756 00:25:54,946 --> 00:25:56,240 We made one for Dev, too. 757 00:25:56,323 --> 00:25:58,867 Whoa. You made one for me? 758 00:25:58,950 --> 00:26:00,536 - Yes. - Aw, thanks. 759 00:26:00,619 --> 00:26:02,871 And we drew you a picture to go with it. 760 00:26:02,954 --> 00:26:04,540 Whoa. 761 00:26:04,623 --> 00:26:06,250 Grant, Lila, and Dev. 762 00:26:06,333 --> 00:26:07,876 Aw, it's a little racist, 763 00:26:07,959 --> 00:26:10,128 but thanks. 764 00:26:10,212 --> 00:26:11,380 You're welcome. 765 00:26:14,258 --> 00:26:17,719 [playful music] 766 00:26:17,886 --> 00:26:23,642 ♪ ♪ 767 00:26:23,725 --> 00:26:25,685 I got to be honest. That looks pretty disgusting. 768 00:26:25,769 --> 00:26:27,354 I'm gonna eat this one. I'm sorry. 769 00:26:29,856 --> 00:26:31,942 Mmm. 770 00:26:32,025 --> 00:26:34,819 You guys, that is so good. 771 00:26:34,903 --> 00:26:36,655 It's really good. 772 00:26:36,738 --> 00:26:38,865 Amanda, can I have yours since you're eating their thing? 773 00:26:38,949 --> 00:26:39,866 No, you may not. 774 00:26:39,950 --> 00:26:41,452 Just a little bite? 775 00:26:41,535 --> 00:26:42,536 A little bite. 776 00:26:47,082 --> 00:26:48,125 Mmm! 777 00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:49,627 This one's good, too! 778 00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:50,940 [upbeat R&B music] 779 00:26:50,964 --> 00:26:53,964 Synced and corrected by sysrapmarvel www.addic7ed.com 780 00:26:54,152 --> 00:26:58,615 ♪ ♪