1 00:00:19,058 --> 00:00:21,805 Jeez, Chavo, you look like a giant baby on film. 2 00:00:21,912 --> 00:00:23,646 Make sure that little red light's blinking. 3 00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:26,215 Thank you for that amazing advice. 4 00:00:26,283 --> 00:00:27,917 Thank you for being so sarcastic. 5 00:00:27,985 --> 00:00:29,218 Take it easy. 6 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,673 Ready? 7 00:00:39,741 --> 00:00:42,509 I am currently standing less than 200 meters 8 00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:45,812 from where Chavo here cowered like a bitch in a bush, 9 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,248 but somehow managed to get a picture 10 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,450 of this thing's right calf and buttock 11 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:51,818 before it disappeared into the bush. 12 00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,487 And here's a fact: If I go down, 13 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,921 you're like a dog without a bone, chica. 14 00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:57,257 Dude, I would pick up that camera and forge ahead 15 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:58,892 like Denzel picked up the flag in Glory. 16 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,861 There have been a spate of recent sightings 17 00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,663 of what has locally gained traction 18 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,432 as a Bigfoot-type creature. But wait, there's more. 19 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,301 Yeah, show them the transmitter. 20 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:11,605 We have planted a number of these motivational devices 21 00:01:11,673 --> 00:01:14,408 in order to entice our favorite squatch 22 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,343 into giving us a little encore. 23 00:01:16,411 --> 00:01:17,878 Calm down, Chavo. 24 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,713 I know how much you love dark meat and technology. 25 00:01:19,781 --> 00:01:22,616 Careful, that's a $200 tracking device in there. 26 00:01:22,684 --> 00:01:24,818 [Raspy grunting, wheezing] 27 00:01:24,886 --> 00:01:26,620 What the hell is that? 28 00:01:26,688 --> 00:01:28,568 Would you stop it? That is a ridiculous sound. 29 00:01:28,623 --> 00:01:29,923 Forget you, Shawn. 30 00:01:29,991 --> 00:01:31,491 You know I'm allergic to pine needles 31 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,827 and most types of dirt. Plus, it's raining now. 32 00:01:33,895 --> 00:01:35,962 If I don't start smelling slow-roasting brisket 33 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,464 in the next two minutes, we're turning around. 34 00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,766 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Shawn frigging Spencer? 35 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:42,202 You really came. This is the boobs. 36 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,338 Uh, Kate, favor. 37 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,373 Wow, you look just like your picture on the blog spot. 38 00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:47,741 I thought it was a screen cap 39 00:01:47,809 --> 00:01:49,476 of Angelina Jolie in Original Sin. 40 00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:52,346 Shawn, who are these people, and why do they know your name? 41 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,480 We know your name too, Pootie Tang. 42 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:54,848 Wa da ta. 43 00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:57,317 Oh, Gus, we're just joking with you 44 00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,746 because you're sweet enough to melt 45 00:01:58,786 --> 00:01:59,786 and drizzle on two scoops of me. 46 00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:02,656 This is Chi-Chi--uh, Chavo. 47 00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:03,990 He hid in a bush when he heard you guys coming 48 00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:05,525 because he thought you guys were Bigfoot 49 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,461 and he forgot to take his Midol this morning. 50 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,596 Okay, I was going for a low, ominous angle, 51 00:02:09,664 --> 00:02:12,332 - and also, I don't have ovaries. - That's debatable. 52 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,268 - Uh, Bigfoot? - Yeah, Bigfoot. 53 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,371 Uh, did Shawn not tell you the deal, or-- 54 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,840 What deal? We're on our way to the Sassy Quatch. 55 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:22,108 It's a secret barbecue hut built into the side of a cave 56 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,810 that almost nobody knows about. 57 00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:27,347 It has the best tasting corn pudding in all of-- 58 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,883 Shawn, you son of a bitch. Why do you have a camera? 59 00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:32,486 Uh, well, buddy, if I'd told you the truth, 60 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:33,954 you wouldn't have come. 61 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,789 Here's the thing. I, uh--I stumbled 62 00:02:35,857 --> 00:02:38,525 upon Kate and Chavo's blog when I was messing around 63 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,527 on the Harry and the Hendersons fan site. 64 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:41,828 - Turns out-- - Shawn... 65 00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:43,563 John Lithgow is never writing you back. 66 00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:44,865 He's never even heard of that site. 67 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,767 - Okay, that is your opinion. - Look. 68 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,468 If Shawn can help us find the beast 69 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,737 by using his gift, and we can catch it all on camera, 70 00:02:50,805 --> 00:02:53,540 we will win the Student Academy Award. 71 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,075 Dude, the Student Academy Award. 72 00:02:55,143 --> 00:02:57,644 Oh, no. No, no, no. 73 00:02:57,712 --> 00:02:59,479 I will not get eaten by a bear 74 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,915 to prove that Bigfoot does not exist. Nope. 75 00:03:01,983 --> 00:03:04,518 No bears eating me. Not today, not ever. 76 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,952 - Not even in your dreams. - Okay. 77 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,454 - You just jinxed yourself. - Suck it, Shawn. 78 00:03:07,522 --> 00:03:08,989 At least stick around and let us show you 79 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,924 the Bigfoot blind we built. It's totally rad. 80 00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:13,627 And we have a mondo stash of beef jerky there. 81 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,630 - Dude, they have meat here. - Lots of meat. 82 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,665 Fine. I will stay only long enough 83 00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:20,667 to refuel and put something in my stomach. 84 00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:22,035 I'm famished, and I'm starting 85 00:03:22,103 --> 00:03:23,670 to see floating protozoa and whatnot. 86 00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:25,105 I know exactly what you're talking about. 87 00:03:25,173 --> 00:03:27,007 Okay, great. Chi-Chi, why don't you, uh, 88 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,576 grab some wood for the fire and I'll show the boys the blind. 89 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,378 Almost there, boys. 90 00:03:31,446 --> 00:03:33,914 What do you think? 91 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,649 You think that's her natural gait? 92 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,417 All right, look. 93 00:03:37,485 --> 00:03:39,052 I'm sorry I lied, okay? But let's be honest. 94 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,620 Shame on you for believing 95 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,155 there was a place called the Sassy Quatch 96 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,690 built into the side of a cave in the first place. 97 00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:45,125 Man, you know all I heard 98 00:03:45,193 --> 00:03:47,494 were the key words "dry rub" and "pone." 99 00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:48,929 What are we doing out here, Shawn? 100 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,464 We're not gonna be able to help these fools. 101 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,732 You can say that again. Hold up. 102 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:53,967 We should both be on camera for this. 103 00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:55,368 It's important for story drive. 104 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,737 - What? - Come on, dudes. 105 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:58,939 What is more interesting than a documentary 106 00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,574 about finding Bigfoot? 107 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:01,942 Anything but Capturing the Friedmans. 108 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,010 A documentary about a documentary 109 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,446 about finding Bigfoot that fails. 110 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,181 I will slap you in the teat, Shawn. 111 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:11,151 Oh, think about it, Gus. They're making Don Quixote. 112 00:04:11,219 --> 00:04:12,719 We're making Lost in la Mancha. 113 00:04:12,787 --> 00:04:14,554 - Oh, my God. - We have never won anything. 114 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,956 Especially you. 115 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,023 Now who do you think's gonna win 116 00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,525 that Student Academy Award now? 117 00:04:18,593 --> 00:04:22,028 Here's a hint: us. 118 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,964 Now pull out your phone and start shooting some b-roll. 119 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:27,200 Come on, guys, chop-chop. Gus to the world. 120 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:29,903 Here's a news flash, Shawn: We are not students. 121 00:04:29,971 --> 00:04:31,805 Here's another one: This is the worst idea 122 00:04:31,873 --> 00:04:35,408 you've come up with since Odwallapalooza. 123 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:39,045 Okay, first of all, organic juices and weird elixirs 124 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,814 that are alive are the future, Gus. 125 00:04:40,882 --> 00:04:42,983 Just like milk was the future back in the '50s. 126 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,851 And "B," yesterday, I enrolled you 127 00:04:44,919 --> 00:04:46,820 in something called hermeneutics at UCSB. 128 00:04:46,888 --> 00:04:48,088 I think it's the study of the Munsters, 129 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,122 - so we should be fine. - You did not. 130 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:50,757 I sure did. 131 00:04:50,825 --> 00:04:52,659 Shawn, hermeneutics is the study of theory. 132 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,728 - Well, that feels redundant. - Oh, my gosh. 133 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,464 I could have an exam on Friday. I need to find a syllabus. 134 00:04:57,532 --> 00:04:59,165 Pretty dope little setup, huh? 135 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,868 Chavo did it in, like, 15 minutes. 136 00:05:01,936 --> 00:05:04,571 You just helped yourself, huh? 137 00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:07,440 So, Kate, what's the story with you and Chavo? 138 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:10,043 It's just a business relationship, 139 00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:12,145 or are you guys lovers in the nighttime? 140 00:05:12,213 --> 00:05:14,514 Man, I think we should all be lovers in the nighttime. 141 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:17,183 The human libido is way too powerful to be governed 142 00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:21,855 by a set of rudimentary laws or a button fly. 143 00:05:21,923 --> 00:05:24,257 Life's not The Notebook, you know? 144 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:28,428 It's Wild Orchid. It's Last Tango in Paris. 145 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:31,965 It's Jungle Fever. 146 00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:34,834 [Creature growls, approaches] Holy hell! 147 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:38,104 He's real. 148 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,707 Oh, my God, are you seeing this? 149 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,643 Dude, dude, dude! 150 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:46,813 Shawn, if we get out of here alive, I will kill you. 151 00:05:46,881 --> 00:05:48,014 So what's my incentive to live? 152 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,068 [Battery warning beeps] 153 00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:56,189 [The Friendly Indians' I Know You Know] 154 00:05:56,257 --> 00:06:00,293 ♪ 155 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:04,064 ♪ In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity ♪ 156 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,567 ♪ I'm not inclined to resign to maturity ♪ 157 00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,069 ♪ if it's all right 158 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,770 ♪ then you're all wrong 159 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:15,642 ♪ but why bounce around to the same damn song? ♪ 160 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:19,245 ♪ you'd rather run when you can't crawl ♪ 161 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:21,848 ♪ 162 00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:24,985 ♪ I know you know that I'm not telling the truth ♪ 163 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,188 ♪ I know you know they just don't have any proof ♪ 164 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,023 ♪ embrace the deception 165 00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:31,124 ♪ learn how to bend 166 00:06:31,192 --> 00:06:33,126 ♪ your worst inhibitions 167 00:06:33,194 --> 00:06:35,762 ♪ tend to psych you out in the end ♪ 168 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:44,961 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 169 00:06:45,342 --> 00:06:46,876 She's gonna get eaten, Shawn. 170 00:06:46,943 --> 00:06:49,512 She's gonna get eaten and then we're gonna get eaten. 171 00:06:49,579 --> 00:06:52,448 Would you--where-- would you relax? 172 00:06:52,516 --> 00:06:54,216 Breathe. 173 00:06:54,284 --> 00:06:55,284 Think about what's happening. 174 00:06:55,352 --> 00:06:56,619 Where's Chavo? 175 00:06:56,687 --> 00:06:58,688 - He's gathering timber. - Wrong. 176 00:06:58,755 --> 00:07:00,489 He just changed into a giant dog suit 177 00:07:00,557 --> 00:07:01,824 and came around that corner 178 00:07:01,892 --> 00:07:03,526 with a big fake emu over his shoulder. 179 00:07:03,593 --> 00:07:05,661 - It wasn't an emu. - This is brilliant, Gus. 180 00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:07,830 We're no longer making a documentary about a failure. 181 00:07:07,898 --> 00:07:09,899 We're making a documentary about a hoax. 182 00:07:09,966 --> 00:07:11,726 They're circulating the rumors on their blog, 183 00:07:11,768 --> 00:07:13,202 doctoring that photo, 184 00:07:13,270 --> 00:07:15,071 and spreading it all over the Internet. 185 00:07:15,138 --> 00:07:19,108 Okay, fine, fine. 186 00:07:19,176 --> 00:07:20,776 You're probably right. 187 00:07:20,844 --> 00:07:22,812 But there are still bears out here, Shawn. 188 00:07:22,879 --> 00:07:25,481 Black bears that feel no kinship to black men. 189 00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:27,216 - Hey. Both: Aah! 190 00:07:27,284 --> 00:07:29,652 Sorry, uh, I don't have a long enough lens. 191 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:30,920 Plus, Bigfoot won't come out of the cave. 192 00:07:30,987 --> 00:07:32,488 I-I think we need to get closer. 193 00:07:32,556 --> 00:07:34,824 Actually, Kate, I am-- I am sensing 194 00:07:34,891 --> 00:07:37,760 that our best bet is to head back to the camp, 195 00:07:37,828 --> 00:07:39,361 get some more supplies, 196 00:07:39,429 --> 00:07:41,263 and come back with Chavo. 197 00:07:41,331 --> 00:07:42,665 - Power in numbers. - All right. 198 00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:44,413 Yeah, it's hard not to get a little excited 199 00:07:44,434 --> 00:07:45,674 about all this. [Both chuckling] 200 00:07:45,736 --> 00:07:47,603 We understand. But let's be smart. 201 00:07:47,671 --> 00:07:49,939 Plus, Chavo will be able to speak the creature's language. 202 00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:51,474 How do you know Squatch is Latino? 203 00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:52,942 How do you know he isn't? 204 00:07:53,009 --> 00:07:57,413 Well, gee, I wonder where Chavo could be. 205 00:07:57,481 --> 00:07:58,848 I'm here, I'm here. 206 00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:00,716 Where's the firewood, Chavo? 207 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,685 Mira, I heard something, like a muffled scream 208 00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:03,853 coming from the other direction. 209 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,488 Yeah? 210 00:08:05,555 --> 00:08:06,989 Well, guess what we motherfrigging saw. It! 211 00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:09,325 Dude, it trudged towards that cave, 212 00:08:09,392 --> 00:08:10,860 and you can totally see it from the blind. 213 00:08:10,927 --> 00:08:13,829 But we didn't want you to miss anything, Chavo, 214 00:08:13,897 --> 00:08:16,332 so we figured we'd all go back together 215 00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:18,567 as a group so we can see each other. 216 00:08:18,635 --> 00:08:20,536 Oh, I got it. And thank you. 217 00:08:20,604 --> 00:08:22,938 Oh, wait till you see it, baby, oh, my God. 218 00:08:23,006 --> 00:08:24,406 I am so turned on right now. 219 00:08:24,474 --> 00:08:25,508 - Yeah? - Yeah, we'll be right back. 220 00:08:25,575 --> 00:08:27,376 - We will? - Yes. 221 00:08:27,444 --> 00:08:30,780 Are they going off to do what I think they're gonna do? 222 00:08:30,847 --> 00:08:31,881 Make a new plan because we're on to them? 223 00:08:31,948 --> 00:08:33,649 They better. 224 00:08:33,717 --> 00:08:36,619 I don't think that's what they--oh, my gosh. 225 00:08:36,686 --> 00:08:39,355 Shawn, I think she's going to-- she is. 226 00:08:39,422 --> 00:08:43,259 Gus, I need to snoop around this tent, okay? 227 00:08:43,326 --> 00:08:45,594 - Be my lookout. - Okay. 228 00:08:45,662 --> 00:08:49,298 Viva Mexico, Chavo. 229 00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:52,802 What do we got here? 230 00:08:52,869 --> 00:08:54,303 Huh, that's clever. 231 00:08:54,371 --> 00:08:56,272 [Distant moans, laughter] 232 00:08:58,341 --> 00:09:01,844 What the-- 233 00:09:01,912 --> 00:09:05,247 This girl is not messing around. 234 00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:07,316 What is-- 235 00:09:07,384 --> 00:09:09,985 [grunting] 236 00:09:10,053 --> 00:09:11,854 Wait a minute, who's the big dot? 237 00:09:11,922 --> 00:09:14,356 I'm the big dot? Then what the hell is that? 238 00:09:14,424 --> 00:09:16,892 [Branches rustling] 239 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,494 Whoa, whoa! 240 00:09:18,562 --> 00:09:21,964 Um, Gus, what's going on out there, man? 241 00:09:22,032 --> 00:09:25,167 Talk to me, Gus. Gus? 242 00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:26,969 Dude, what the heck? 243 00:09:27,037 --> 00:09:28,904 In a tree. Crazy, right? 244 00:09:28,972 --> 00:09:31,040 It's still warm. 245 00:09:31,107 --> 00:09:33,676 I think that turkey leg was meant for Bigfoot, Gus. 246 00:09:33,743 --> 00:09:35,244 So they went to the trouble of setting food traps 247 00:09:35,278 --> 00:09:36,745 with tracking devices. 248 00:09:36,813 --> 00:09:38,314 Man, they're really committing to this hoax. 249 00:09:38,381 --> 00:09:40,950 Wait, I swallowed a transmitter, Shawn. 250 00:09:41,017 --> 00:09:43,519 What if my body rejects the alloys in the composite? 251 00:09:43,587 --> 00:09:45,387 - You'll poop it out, it's fine. - What? 252 00:09:45,455 --> 00:09:47,923 All right, you guys ready to make some cinematic history? 253 00:09:47,991 --> 00:09:51,694 Get rid of that thing! 254 00:09:51,761 --> 00:09:53,629 I rarely order flan. 255 00:09:53,697 --> 00:09:55,577 If it's there for the table, sure, I'll partake, 256 00:09:55,632 --> 00:09:57,766 but chances are, something else on the menu's gonna grab me. 257 00:09:57,834 --> 00:09:59,554 Well, then you just haven't had good flan. 258 00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:01,570 Uh, good flan, bad flan. 259 00:10:01,638 --> 00:10:03,873 Bottom line: It's eggy. Period. 260 00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:05,507 - Ugh. - It can be eggy. 261 00:10:05,575 --> 00:10:07,343 Oh, man, I should've peed back at camp. 262 00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:08,644 My molars are floating. 263 00:10:08,712 --> 00:10:09,945 All right, well, just make it quick. 264 00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:12,681 Give me the camera. [Grunting] 265 00:10:12,749 --> 00:10:15,284 You know, he's got the bladder of a six-year-old girl, 266 00:10:15,352 --> 00:10:16,652 but he can hold most of the tantric positions 267 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:17,820 for, like, 45 frigging minutes. 268 00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:19,355 - Wow, that's something. - Yes. 269 00:10:19,422 --> 00:10:20,856 - We have to go too. - Yeah, we got to pee. 270 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,924 We are gonna catch him putting on the costume, Gus. 271 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,994 We're gonna hide, we're gonna get the whole thing on camera, 272 00:10:25,061 --> 00:10:26,829 and then we're gonna keep playing along. 273 00:10:26,897 --> 00:10:28,464 Now pull out your phone and start shooting. 274 00:10:28,531 --> 00:10:30,566 We want as many choices as possible in the editing room. 275 00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:32,195 You bet. This is actually kind of fun. 276 00:10:37,307 --> 00:10:39,174 Try and get some geography. 277 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:46,348 Shawn? He looks like he's peeing. 278 00:10:46,416 --> 00:10:48,017 Where is the big furry dog suit? 279 00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:49,952 I'm filming a man who's peeing, Shawn. 280 00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,555 This isn't right. 281 00:10:53,623 --> 00:10:55,491 Who's there? 282 00:10:55,558 --> 00:10:58,060 I've got pepper spray and Chinese throwing stars. 283 00:10:58,128 --> 00:11:00,262 I mean... I'm--I'm a ninja. 284 00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:07,403 - What are you guys doing here? - We had to go too. 285 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:09,672 What--so you just left Kate alone at the blind? 286 00:11:09,739 --> 00:11:10,940 It's not like anybody can see her. 287 00:11:11,007 --> 00:11:12,241 I mean, isn't that the concept? 288 00:11:12,309 --> 00:11:13,676 It's a blind. 289 00:11:13,743 --> 00:11:15,277 Gus, you shouldn't hold it like that. 290 00:11:15,345 --> 00:11:16,779 You're gonna get black bars on both sides. 291 00:11:16,846 --> 00:11:18,781 Oh, oh, right. [Kate screams] 292 00:11:18,848 --> 00:11:24,753 Katie? 293 00:11:24,821 --> 00:11:26,989 Oh, he saw me, and I saw him! 294 00:11:27,057 --> 00:11:28,857 - We made eye--eye contact. - Who saw you? 295 00:11:28,925 --> 00:11:30,826 - Who you think, Chavo? - What the-- 296 00:11:30,894 --> 00:11:33,128 [creature growling] 297 00:11:33,196 --> 00:11:39,234 [All screaming] 298 00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:40,803 Aah! Oh, my God! 299 00:11:40,870 --> 00:11:42,738 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 300 00:11:42,806 --> 00:11:44,273 Oh, my God! Oh, crap! 301 00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:45,541 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 302 00:11:45,608 --> 00:11:47,810 - Oh, my God! - Aah! 303 00:11:47,877 --> 00:11:51,246 [Grunting] 304 00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:57,319 Gus, you okay? 305 00:11:57,387 --> 00:11:59,288 I'm okay. I'm okay! 306 00:11:59,356 --> 00:12:01,623 Aah! 307 00:12:01,691 --> 00:12:03,392 Gus! 308 00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,461 [Panting] 309 00:12:05,528 --> 00:12:06,862 Great move. Great juke, Gus. 310 00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:09,465 I-I can't say I feel 100% right now, Shawn. 311 00:12:09,532 --> 00:12:10,366 We lost the monster and everyone lived. 312 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:11,734 Even Chavo. 313 00:12:11,801 --> 00:12:13,302 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 314 00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:14,269 Hey, I've got some rope in my backpack. 315 00:12:14,337 --> 00:12:15,704 I got a flashlight. 316 00:12:15,772 --> 00:12:17,773 So what, am I fodder here? I'm expendable? 317 00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:20,042 - Hang on, Nutella. - Don't worry, Gus. 318 00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:21,610 It's not like you're in the catacombs. 319 00:12:21,678 --> 00:12:24,246 [Chuckling] Catch the flashlight, Gus. 320 00:12:24,314 --> 00:12:29,184 [Panting] 321 00:12:29,252 --> 00:12:32,321 [Flies buzzing] 322 00:12:32,389 --> 00:12:37,192 - Whoa. - Ew. 323 00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,560 Aah! 324 00:12:38,628 --> 00:12:40,529 I take that back, Gus. 325 00:12:40,597 --> 00:12:42,431 You're in, like, a miniature version 326 00:12:42,499 --> 00:12:44,366 of the catacombs. 327 00:12:47,577 --> 00:12:50,346 - Ah! It stings. - Tell you what. 328 00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:52,248 Later on, you can put one on me, 329 00:12:52,315 --> 00:12:54,116 and then rip it off super hard. 330 00:12:54,184 --> 00:12:55,785 Kate... 331 00:12:55,852 --> 00:12:58,754 You're very open and sensual and European-seeming. 332 00:12:58,822 --> 00:13:00,823 - I grew up on a commune-- - That's awesome. 333 00:13:00,891 --> 00:13:03,092 But I'm in a fully committed relationship, 334 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,194 and my lady and her illegitimate son, 335 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,163 they count on me to make responsible decisions 336 00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:08,697 in the clutch. 337 00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:11,801 That makes me sad. And also really hot. 338 00:13:11,868 --> 00:13:14,370 Hey, uh, I don't mean to set off any alarms here, 339 00:13:14,438 --> 00:13:16,105 but am I the only one who's troubled 340 00:13:16,173 --> 00:13:17,807 by the three corpses in the hole? 341 00:13:17,874 --> 00:13:19,274 It seems pretty cut and dry to me. 342 00:13:19,309 --> 00:13:20,843 We found Bigfoot's private pantry. 343 00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:23,245 Now we've just got to go back and wait for snack time. 344 00:13:23,313 --> 00:13:24,547 Or we could be snack time. 345 00:13:24,614 --> 00:13:26,582 Uh-uh, nope, not today. 346 00:13:26,650 --> 00:13:28,384 Shawn and I will be leaving now. 347 00:13:28,452 --> 00:13:30,386 Thank you all very much. It's been real. 348 00:13:30,454 --> 00:13:33,222 Wait, Shawn, I thought this is what you wanted, man. 349 00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,623 The stuff we're getting is epic. We're gonna make history. 350 00:13:34,691 --> 00:13:36,358 Nope. [Rustling in bushes] 351 00:13:36,426 --> 00:13:38,127 He'll want me first. I'm the sweetest. 352 00:13:38,195 --> 00:13:39,795 What are you saying, he's gonna start with dessert? 353 00:13:39,863 --> 00:13:43,432 Ooh, good point, maybe not. Chavo's toast though. 354 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:46,769 - Son of a bitch. - Lassie? Jules? 355 00:13:46,837 --> 00:13:48,671 I've never been so excited to see you ever. 356 00:13:48,738 --> 00:13:50,673 Come on, hug it out. Hug it out. 357 00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:53,309 I would rather spend all day at the mall with McNab. 358 00:13:53,376 --> 00:13:54,610 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 359 00:13:54,678 --> 00:13:56,245 What are we doing here? 360 00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,313 We got a call from a couple of hikers 361 00:13:57,380 --> 00:13:58,881 about an abandoned blue echo 362 00:13:58,949 --> 00:14:01,217 on the side of the road with Gus's license plate. 363 00:14:01,284 --> 00:14:03,252 You didn't mention anything about a day trip. 364 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,321 - You two are po-po? - That's right, Los Lobos. 365 00:14:05,388 --> 00:14:06,622 So get that camera out of my face. 366 00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:08,257 This had better be good, Spencer. 367 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:09,859 I just shined these shoes. That and the fact 368 00:14:09,926 --> 00:14:11,827 that you and Guster aren't dead, I am borderline furious. 369 00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:14,430 Okay, listen, listen. This is Kate and Chavo. 370 00:14:14,498 --> 00:14:16,232 They are film students making a documentary 371 00:14:16,299 --> 00:14:19,568 about finding Bigfoot right here in these woods. 372 00:14:19,636 --> 00:14:23,172 They hired me to help them track the beast psychically. 373 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,140 Hired? No, you volunteered. 374 00:14:24,207 --> 00:14:25,541 We're not paying you caca. 375 00:14:25,609 --> 00:14:28,144 Needless to say, we tracked the beast 376 00:14:28,211 --> 00:14:29,545 to its domicile. 377 00:14:29,613 --> 00:14:31,147 It was startled, it gave chase. 378 00:14:31,214 --> 00:14:32,815 We barely made it out with our lives. 379 00:14:32,883 --> 00:14:34,350 But we did unearth a catacomb 380 00:14:34,417 --> 00:14:36,318 filled with the corpses of his victims, 381 00:14:36,386 --> 00:14:38,220 which he will presumably be eating later 382 00:14:38,288 --> 00:14:39,655 - along with Gus for dessert. - What? 383 00:14:39,723 --> 00:14:41,123 And we got the whole thing on camera. 384 00:14:41,191 --> 00:14:42,424 That is 0% funny, Shawn. 385 00:14:42,492 --> 00:14:43,932 Please let me shoot your boyfriend. 386 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,761 Just a flesh wound, something he can walk away from. 387 00:14:45,829 --> 00:14:47,296 - Please. - Boyfriend? 388 00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,365 This monogamy is really starting to bum me out. 389 00:14:49,432 --> 00:14:50,432 You say you got all this on camera? 390 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:51,767 Yes, we did. 391 00:14:51,835 --> 00:14:54,837 No, way. Come on, Lassie. 392 00:14:54,905 --> 00:14:57,273 - You saw the footage. - Impossible. 393 00:14:57,340 --> 00:14:59,475 I know. It's shocking, really. 394 00:14:59,543 --> 00:15:01,510 But no corpses can only mean one thing: 395 00:15:01,578 --> 00:15:03,279 It's the zombie apocalypse. 396 00:15:03,346 --> 00:15:04,780 Well, perhaps it's for the best right here in the woods 397 00:15:04,848 --> 00:15:06,615 - away from the populous. - That can't be. 398 00:15:06,683 --> 00:15:09,485 They were cold and ashy and pale and dead. 399 00:15:09,553 --> 00:15:12,755 I think it is painfully clear what is going on here. 400 00:15:12,822 --> 00:15:15,891 You two Nimrods have orchestrated a little hoax 401 00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:17,960 so that your film's not a total waste of time, 402 00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:19,562 and you found the perfect two chowderheads to fall for it. 403 00:15:19,629 --> 00:15:21,297 That's not true. 404 00:15:21,364 --> 00:15:23,004 Lassie, that's what we thought at first. 405 00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:25,634 - But it doesn't add up anymore. - Think about it, Spencer. 406 00:15:25,702 --> 00:15:28,871 Put your finger to your head and use your brain. 407 00:15:28,939 --> 00:15:30,472 They got a couple of their bong buddies 408 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:31,740 to crawl in the hole and play dead. 409 00:15:31,808 --> 00:15:33,609 You got hosed. 410 00:15:33,677 --> 00:15:37,746 But now they have gone too far, because my time is money. 411 00:15:37,814 --> 00:15:39,915 Wait a minute. How come we're ruling out the theory 412 00:15:39,983 --> 00:15:41,684 that the yeti moved his food stash 413 00:15:41,751 --> 00:15:44,019 - because we found it? - Yeti is incorrect. 414 00:15:44,087 --> 00:15:46,488 They live in much snowier climates like Hoth. 415 00:15:46,556 --> 00:15:47,823 You're right. My bad. 416 00:15:47,891 --> 00:15:50,259 Plus, I found it by accident, Lassie. 417 00:15:50,327 --> 00:15:52,561 I had to tumble all the way down a ridge to find it. 418 00:15:52,629 --> 00:15:54,964 Gus has a point. I mean, the hole was covered. 419 00:15:55,031 --> 00:15:56,732 I don't think those bodies were meant to be found. 420 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,369 O'Hara, I forbid you to buy into this load of crap. 421 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,638 We should arrest them and go back to the city. 422 00:16:02,706 --> 00:16:04,807 Uh, I am sensing these bodies did not get up 423 00:16:04,874 --> 00:16:06,609 and walk away on their own. 424 00:16:06,676 --> 00:16:09,612 Which also puts the kibosh on Lassie's zombie theory. 425 00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:11,847 You see... they were dragged. 426 00:16:11,915 --> 00:16:14,450 Ha! Chupalo! 427 00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:15,818 What does that mean? 428 00:16:15,885 --> 00:16:18,454 You tell me what that means right now. 429 00:16:18,521 --> 00:16:20,656 Well, this is quite a haul. 430 00:16:20,724 --> 00:16:22,524 Well, this can't be right. 431 00:16:22,592 --> 00:16:23,959 According to the tracking device, 432 00:16:24,027 --> 00:16:26,362 Bigfoot is... one of us. 433 00:16:26,429 --> 00:16:27,696 Stop saying Bigfoot like he's real. 434 00:16:27,764 --> 00:16:28,998 Gus ate a giant turkey leg 435 00:16:29,065 --> 00:16:30,633 - with a transmitter in it. - Aw, come on. 436 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,234 It wasn't weird to you that it was just sitting 437 00:16:32,302 --> 00:16:33,369 in a freaking tree? 438 00:16:33,436 --> 00:16:35,337 Someone would have us believe 439 00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:37,339 that these bodies went into the drink, 440 00:16:37,407 --> 00:16:39,441 which means we've got to dredge this creek 441 00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:42,811 and bring in some serious SBPD manpower. 442 00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:44,580 Now you two film geeks... 443 00:16:44,648 --> 00:16:46,782 Think long and hard about what you say next. 444 00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:49,351 Playtime is over. I will not be toyed with. 445 00:16:49,419 --> 00:16:51,587 [Metallic clang] 446 00:16:51,655 --> 00:16:53,956 [Screams] 447 00:16:54,024 --> 00:16:56,625 Son of a-- God! 448 00:16:56,693 --> 00:16:59,361 [Yelps] Oh, my-- 449 00:16:59,429 --> 00:17:00,863 Aah! Aah! 450 00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:02,364 Aah! 451 00:17:02,432 --> 00:17:07,436 [Screaming] 452 00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,438 Oh, God! 453 00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:11,507 Don't fight the current! 454 00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:15,377 Try to grab onto something! I'm coming! 455 00:17:15,445 --> 00:17:16,779 Where-- where you going? 456 00:17:16,846 --> 00:17:18,647 Don't worry about it, Shawn. You do you. 457 00:17:18,715 --> 00:17:20,449 There he is! Come on, we can go down here. 458 00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:21,550 - Come on. - Oh. 459 00:17:21,618 --> 00:17:24,486 [Screaming] 460 00:17:24,554 --> 00:17:25,988 That's what you get for calling me Los Lobos. 461 00:17:26,056 --> 00:17:30,025 Dude, this is a total bonus. 462 00:17:30,093 --> 00:17:32,394 - Aah! - What can I do to help? 463 00:17:32,462 --> 00:17:36,699 - Stay back, Chavo! - I was hoping you'd say that. 464 00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:42,671 [Grunting] 465 00:17:42,739 --> 00:17:44,340 Lassie, grab the branch! 466 00:17:44,407 --> 00:17:46,575 It's right in front of you. 467 00:17:46,643 --> 00:17:48,977 - Thank you, O'Hara! - Yes! Good work! 468 00:17:49,045 --> 00:17:51,980 Jules, you're amazing! 469 00:17:52,048 --> 00:17:53,615 Hang on, Lassie, we'll have you out of there 470 00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:56,485 in no time! [Bird screeches] 471 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:57,853 Hey! 472 00:17:57,921 --> 00:17:59,588 That lady hawk stole my camera! 473 00:17:59,656 --> 00:18:00,723 How do you know it's a female? 474 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,324 She's circling around. 475 00:18:02,392 --> 00:18:03,992 I think my whole leg just came off. 476 00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,628 Lassie, she's coming back this way. 477 00:18:06,696 --> 00:18:08,664 I think she's gonna drop it. 478 00:18:08,732 --> 00:18:09,932 Catch it! You have to catch it! 479 00:18:09,966 --> 00:18:11,500 Catch it! 480 00:18:15,405 --> 00:18:17,673 That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen. 481 00:18:17,741 --> 00:18:20,442 - Or at least top eight. - Wow. Wow. 482 00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:22,411 All right, that's the best 483 00:18:22,479 --> 00:18:23,746 we're gonna do for now, partner. 484 00:18:23,813 --> 00:18:25,447 Stepped in a bear trap. 485 00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:27,616 Oh, what is this? 486 00:18:27,684 --> 00:18:30,953 This is so humiliating. I can't tell Marlowe the truth. 487 00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:33,355 I've got to come up with a cover story. 488 00:18:33,423 --> 00:18:34,690 Do you mind? 489 00:18:34,758 --> 00:18:36,125 Does anybody know where we are? 490 00:18:36,192 --> 00:18:37,893 Because I certainly don't, and this sucks. 491 00:18:37,961 --> 00:18:39,395 Yeah, agreed. 492 00:18:39,462 --> 00:18:40,896 We can follow the river up a ways, 493 00:18:40,964 --> 00:18:42,865 but the tracks won't be good once the sun goes down. 494 00:18:42,932 --> 00:18:44,366 Didn't you guys bring a map? 495 00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:46,568 - I kicked it into the creek. - You did what? 496 00:18:46,636 --> 00:18:48,756 That's the stupidest thing you could've done, Chavo. 497 00:18:48,805 --> 00:18:50,739 [Chuckling] I was just kidding. 498 00:18:50,807 --> 00:18:53,509 We actually never had a map. 499 00:18:53,576 --> 00:18:55,644 Think you can move on that leg? 500 00:18:55,712 --> 00:18:57,413 Not very fast. 501 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,148 Damn it to hell! 502 00:18:59,215 --> 00:19:00,516 It's like we're in Bridge on the River Kwai 503 00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:02,017 but you get to be Bill Holden. 504 00:19:02,085 --> 00:19:03,585 We're gonna freeze our pinones off. 505 00:19:03,653 --> 00:19:05,521 Okay. 506 00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:06,989 We are gonna set up camp for the night. 507 00:19:07,056 --> 00:19:08,924 We're gonna back ourselves up to the water 508 00:19:08,992 --> 00:19:10,959 so that we don't have to worry about a 360-degree perimeter. 509 00:19:11,027 --> 00:19:12,528 We will build a fire. 510 00:19:12,595 --> 00:19:14,730 At first light, I will find my way out of here, 511 00:19:14,798 --> 00:19:15,831 and I will come back with the cavalry. 512 00:19:15,899 --> 00:19:17,733 Absolutely not. 513 00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:19,468 I'm not letting you go by yourself. 514 00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:21,770 Shawn, everyone has to stay here with Lassiter. 515 00:19:21,838 --> 00:19:24,440 - I'll be twice as fast on my own. - What about me, Juliet? 516 00:19:24,507 --> 00:19:25,607 I'm at least twice as fast as Shawn. 517 00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:27,075 - That is a lie. - Shh! 518 00:19:27,143 --> 00:19:28,863 I'm not trying to be here all night, Juliet. 519 00:19:28,878 --> 00:19:30,179 No, Detective O'Hara's right. 520 00:19:30,246 --> 00:19:32,381 Ow! No, I'm fine. 521 00:19:32,449 --> 00:19:33,949 Fine. 522 00:19:34,017 --> 00:19:35,617 I'm certainly no gonna sleep a wink tonight, 523 00:19:35,685 --> 00:19:38,387 so I'll set up a perimeter and take watch. 524 00:19:38,455 --> 00:19:40,422 O'Hara will set up camp and protect the herd. 525 00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:42,024 Wait. Please take one of the cameras with you. 526 00:19:42,091 --> 00:19:44,460 It would mean the world to us. 527 00:19:44,527 --> 00:19:47,963 If you, uh, see anything, just point and shoot. 528 00:19:48,031 --> 00:19:49,064 What do I look like to you? 529 00:19:49,132 --> 00:19:50,666 The love child 530 00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:54,369 of Matthew Perry and...Tony Randall. 531 00:19:54,437 --> 00:19:57,039 Here. 532 00:19:57,106 --> 00:20:02,144 It's gonna get balls-cold out tonight. 533 00:20:02,212 --> 00:20:05,481 - What kind of wool is this? - It's an angora blend, I think. 534 00:20:05,548 --> 00:20:09,885 - It's delightful. - I know, right? 535 00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:11,487 Just point and shoot. 536 00:20:11,554 --> 00:20:15,891 This fire is very, very impressive. 537 00:20:15,959 --> 00:20:19,695 I had no idea that you were so rugged and outdoorsy. 538 00:20:19,762 --> 00:20:21,830 Well, that is because you steadfastly refuse 539 00:20:21,898 --> 00:20:23,699 to go hiking, camping, 540 00:20:23,766 --> 00:20:26,134 or mountain biking with me, Shawn. 541 00:20:26,202 --> 00:20:29,071 Because look what happens, Jules. 542 00:20:29,138 --> 00:20:30,839 Mother nature was not meant for us. 543 00:20:30,907 --> 00:20:35,611 It was meant for the animals and Jeff Probst. 544 00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:37,118 And you know what? Not really Probst, 545 00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:39,581 because everyone knows that after wrap, 546 00:20:39,649 --> 00:20:41,950 - he goes to the Marriott. - Man... 547 00:20:42,018 --> 00:20:45,087 I love the outdoors more than anything. 548 00:20:45,154 --> 00:20:46,788 We're all animals. 549 00:20:46,856 --> 00:20:50,459 Hey, have you guys ever seen Cannibal Holocaust? 550 00:20:50,527 --> 00:20:52,561 Nothing's beeping on the Bigfoot tracker. 551 00:20:52,629 --> 00:20:56,365 Huh? 552 00:20:56,432 --> 00:20:58,467 Oh, my God. 553 00:20:58,535 --> 00:21:01,069 That's what you ran off to do? 554 00:21:01,137 --> 00:21:03,906 How--wait. What did you use-- 555 00:21:03,973 --> 00:21:08,043 We're not talking about this, Shawn, ever. 556 00:21:08,111 --> 00:21:10,746 You can all suck it. 557 00:21:10,813 --> 00:21:14,550 [Distant screech] 558 00:21:14,617 --> 00:21:17,786 Stay put. 559 00:21:17,854 --> 00:21:19,721 [Distant screech] 560 00:21:23,826 --> 00:21:27,796 So...cold. 561 00:21:27,864 --> 00:21:31,600 My ankle's a little worse off than I let on. 562 00:21:31,668 --> 00:21:36,505 I've lost quite a lot of blood. 563 00:21:36,573 --> 00:21:39,808 It's time to be honest. 564 00:21:39,876 --> 00:21:43,755 I'm no hero. Not tonight. 565 00:21:44,652 --> 00:21:47,883 ♪ Close your eyes 566 00:21:47,951 --> 00:21:51,954 ♪ give me your hand, darling ♪ 567 00:21:52,021 --> 00:21:55,123 ♪ do you feel my heart beating? ♪ 568 00:21:55,191 --> 00:21:57,626 ♪ do you understand? 569 00:21:57,694 --> 00:22:00,996 Both: ♪ Do you feel the same? ♪ 570 00:22:01,064 --> 00:22:05,267 ♪ am I only dreaming? 571 00:22:05,335 --> 00:22:08,136 ♪ Is this burning 572 00:22:08,204 --> 00:22:11,740 ♪ an eternal flame? 573 00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:15,677 ♪ I believe it's meant to be 574 00:22:15,745 --> 00:22:16,845 ♪ darling 575 00:22:16,913 --> 00:22:21,550 I would like to apologize. 576 00:22:21,618 --> 00:22:25,654 I'm sorry, Marlowe. 577 00:22:25,722 --> 00:22:28,690 Sorry I wasn't strong enough. 578 00:22:28,758 --> 00:22:32,594 Mom, Althea... 579 00:22:32,662 --> 00:22:34,329 I just want to say once and for all 580 00:22:34,397 --> 00:22:38,567 that your happiness is my happiness. 581 00:22:38,635 --> 00:22:40,902 I won't be making any more off-color LPGA jokes 582 00:22:40,970 --> 00:22:42,671 during the holidays. 583 00:22:42,739 --> 00:22:46,241 Both: ♪Watch you when you are sleeping ♪ 584 00:22:46,309 --> 00:22:48,744 ♪ you belong with me 585 00:22:48,811 --> 00:22:52,114 ♪ do you feel the same? ♪ 586 00:22:52,181 --> 00:22:56,051 ♪ am I only dreaming? 587 00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:59,755 - ♪ Or is this burning - ♪ Burning 588 00:22:59,822 --> 00:23:02,991 - ♪ an eternal flame? - ♪ Eternal flame 589 00:23:03,059 --> 00:23:05,127 ♪ Say my name 590 00:23:05,194 --> 00:23:07,329 ♪ sun shines through the rain ♪ 591 00:23:07,397 --> 00:23:09,598 - ♪ my whole life was so lonely - ♪ Flame 592 00:23:09,666 --> 00:23:11,333 Hey, guys. Hi. 593 00:23:11,401 --> 00:23:12,868 Yeah, how 'bout we don't attract attention 594 00:23:12,935 --> 00:23:14,703 to ourselves by singing a song? 595 00:23:16,517 --> 00:23:20,108 I'm going to die out here. 596 00:23:20,176 --> 00:23:22,277 [Sniffling] 597 00:23:22,345 --> 00:23:27,816 O'Hara, you are the best partner 598 00:23:27,884 --> 00:23:30,986 that I have ever, ever... 599 00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:58,912 That is not possible. 600 00:23:58,979 --> 00:24:00,880 Oh, my gosh. 601 00:24:00,948 --> 00:24:02,550 Bigfoot took Lassie. 602 00:24:02,845 --> 00:24:06,352 Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, this is really happening. 603 00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:08,955 What are we gonna do? 604 00:24:09,023 --> 00:24:13,560 I-I think there's only one thing to do here. 605 00:24:17,674 --> 00:24:20,910 Carlton Lassiter was a decent man. 606 00:24:20,978 --> 00:24:23,946 I'll, uh--I'll never forget the time he chased Gus 607 00:24:24,014 --> 00:24:25,515 with a samurai sword. 608 00:24:25,582 --> 00:24:28,551 He just about took his head off. 609 00:24:28,619 --> 00:24:30,553 Although we may have not always seen eye to eye, 610 00:24:30,621 --> 00:24:35,124 he did have a genuine interest in upholding the law. 611 00:24:35,192 --> 00:24:39,662 And of course he had the sweet, sweet stern bush. 612 00:24:39,730 --> 00:24:41,030 Gus, you want to add anything to that? 613 00:24:41,098 --> 00:24:42,999 - No. - Stop. 614 00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:45,034 Look, Carlton is not dead. 615 00:24:45,102 --> 00:24:47,537 He can't be, I won't let him. You understand? 616 00:24:47,604 --> 00:24:49,138 Okay, now we're going to find him, 617 00:24:49,206 --> 00:24:50,506 and then we're all going to get out of here. 618 00:24:50,574 --> 00:24:52,441 Chi-Chi, how are we doing on battery? 619 00:24:52,509 --> 00:24:54,110 Uh, half, and we still have auxiliary. 620 00:24:54,178 --> 00:24:56,245 Nice, we're ready when you are. 621 00:24:56,313 --> 00:24:57,580 Jules, you're upset. 622 00:24:57,648 --> 00:24:59,282 Why are you filming this, Shawn? 623 00:24:59,349 --> 00:25:01,317 You're emotional, and if this was me saying, 624 00:25:01,385 --> 00:25:04,353 "Hey, let's go poke the hornet's nest with one of Gus's shoes," 625 00:25:04,421 --> 00:25:06,989 you would say no, and you would force me to be reasonable. 626 00:25:07,057 --> 00:25:09,659 - Shawn, I smell barbecue. - No, you don't, buddy. 627 00:25:09,726 --> 00:25:11,260 You're just-- you're distressed, 628 00:25:11,328 --> 00:25:13,229 and you're projecting a delusion of grandeur. 629 00:25:13,297 --> 00:25:14,497 - No. - Grandeur. 630 00:25:14,565 --> 00:25:16,866 No, it's smoked meat, and it's fresh. 631 00:25:16,934 --> 00:25:20,136 It's freshly smoked meat. 632 00:25:20,204 --> 00:25:22,038 That's the direction Carlton was taken. 633 00:25:22,105 --> 00:25:23,606 Let's go! Everybody, now! 634 00:25:23,674 --> 00:25:25,508 He sure knows a lot about smoked meat. 635 00:25:25,576 --> 00:25:27,610 What are we doing? What--Chavo. 636 00:25:27,678 --> 00:25:29,879 - This is the boobs, man. - No. 637 00:25:29,947 --> 00:25:31,547 No, this is not the boobs. 638 00:25:31,615 --> 00:25:34,250 Shawn, I said stay behind me. 639 00:25:34,318 --> 00:25:36,485 Three, two... 640 00:25:36,553 --> 00:25:39,555 We are currently tracking the monster in an attempt 641 00:25:39,623 --> 00:25:41,691 to also find the remains of one of our own. 642 00:25:41,758 --> 00:25:43,993 - That is overstated. - Fix it in post. 643 00:25:44,061 --> 00:25:46,262 Needless to say, we have risked everything 644 00:25:46,330 --> 00:25:48,264 in order to bring the truth behind this legend 645 00:25:48,332 --> 00:25:50,233 to the rest of the free speaking world. 646 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:51,634 Boom, I don't care how long it's been 647 00:25:51,702 --> 00:25:53,336 since I busted out the super sniffer. 648 00:25:53,403 --> 00:25:56,205 It's like riding a bike with my nostrils and cilia. 649 00:25:56,273 --> 00:25:57,907 Look over there. That's the same cave 650 00:25:57,975 --> 00:26:00,009 we could see from the blind, which means... 651 00:26:00,077 --> 00:26:02,011 - We've gone in a big circle. - Shh! 652 00:26:02,079 --> 00:26:03,379 Stay with me, all of you. 653 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:13,055 Uh-oh. 654 00:26:13,123 --> 00:26:14,590 Oh, my God, those are Carlton's clothes. 655 00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:17,426 Homes got roasted rotisserie style. 656 00:26:17,494 --> 00:26:20,229 Okay, uh, in lieu of everything 657 00:26:20,297 --> 00:26:23,132 that we've been through with that man... 658 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,234 I can't believe I'm about to say this... 659 00:26:25,302 --> 00:26:28,638 Lassie does smell absolutely delicious. Gus? 660 00:26:28,705 --> 00:26:31,707 Amen. He's been dry-rubbed. Ow! 661 00:26:31,775 --> 00:26:33,542 What's the matter with you two? 662 00:26:33,610 --> 00:26:34,977 Look, I refuse to believe that there isn't 663 00:26:35,045 --> 00:26:36,579 a rational explanation for all of this, 664 00:26:36,647 --> 00:26:39,215 and I highly doubt that Bigfoot is dry-rubbing his dinner 665 00:26:39,283 --> 00:26:41,350 - with barbecue sauce. - Of course he isn't. 666 00:26:41,418 --> 00:26:43,619 It's apples and oranges. The operative word is "dry," 667 00:26:43,687 --> 00:26:45,421 - meaning "no sauce." - Look. 668 00:26:45,489 --> 00:26:47,823 The show must go on, right? We got to get inside that cave. 669 00:26:56,066 --> 00:26:58,034 All right, I'm sensing he's not in there. 670 00:26:58,101 --> 00:27:00,903 I'm also sensing that Bigfoot might have a green thumb. 671 00:27:00,971 --> 00:27:03,105 Which is weird, because he's Bigfoot. 672 00:27:05,409 --> 00:27:07,943 Huh, these seeds all took really well. 673 00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:20,489 Huh, well, this is surprisingly cozy. 674 00:27:20,557 --> 00:27:23,159 What is that? Is that a solar panel? 675 00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:26,329 - Carlton. - He's here! He's alive! 676 00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:29,332 Carlton, talk to me. Tell me you're okay. 677 00:27:29,745 --> 00:27:31,946 Ooh, I don't know. I may have jumped the gun. 678 00:27:32,014 --> 00:27:34,382 - Is that just his torso? - You are all heartless! 679 00:27:34,450 --> 00:27:37,758 - Oh, hey, guys. - Carlton. 680 00:27:38,073 --> 00:27:40,074 Oh, my God, we all thought that-- 681 00:27:40,142 --> 00:27:42,176 - They thought. - No, I'm fine. 682 00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:44,085 We were gonna come find you right after brunch. 683 00:27:44,124 --> 00:27:46,113 We? 684 00:27:46,181 --> 00:27:48,382 All: Aah! - Aah! 685 00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:51,606 All: Aah! - Don't shoot! I'm unarmed! 686 00:27:51,726 --> 00:27:53,254 Dear God, you can speak. 687 00:27:53,322 --> 00:27:55,423 Show me your hands! 688 00:27:55,490 --> 00:27:58,559 He's okay, O'Hara. 689 00:27:58,627 --> 00:27:59,627 Okay, I may have fibbed a little bit 690 00:27:59,695 --> 00:28:01,432 right out of the gates there. 691 00:28:01,552 --> 00:28:03,043 I'm armed, but I'm not dangerous. 692 00:28:03,111 --> 00:28:04,411 You look dangerous. 693 00:28:04,479 --> 00:28:05,713 I mean, I'm really dangerous. 694 00:28:05,780 --> 00:28:08,182 I'm just not vengeful or vindictive. 695 00:28:08,250 --> 00:28:09,530 It's okay, Ed. They're with me. 696 00:28:10,179 --> 00:28:12,152 Carlton, what is going on here? 697 00:28:12,220 --> 00:28:15,189 O'Hara, this here is Big Ed Dixon. 698 00:28:15,257 --> 00:28:17,291 He saved my life. Truth is... 699 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,593 my ankle was a lot worse off than I admitted. 700 00:28:19,661 --> 00:28:21,328 I bled profusely, and at some point in the night, 701 00:28:21,396 --> 00:28:22,396 I passed out. 702 00:28:22,464 --> 00:28:24,532 Hey, you found my shoe! 703 00:28:24,599 --> 00:28:26,634 I found the trap with blood on it, 704 00:28:26,701 --> 00:28:29,203 saw Carlton, put two and two together, 705 00:28:29,271 --> 00:28:31,405 and felt horrible. It was my trap. 706 00:28:31,473 --> 00:28:32,573 Big Ed picked me up like a baby fawn 707 00:28:32,641 --> 00:28:34,208 and brought me back here. 708 00:28:34,276 --> 00:28:36,477 He cleaned up my ankle, redressed my wound. 709 00:28:36,545 --> 00:28:37,678 What's with the furry costume? 710 00:28:37,746 --> 00:28:39,480 And what are you doing out here? 711 00:28:39,548 --> 00:28:41,782 I've been living in these woods for over a decade. 712 00:28:41,850 --> 00:28:44,685 Sad truth is, I just lost faith in the human race. 713 00:28:44,753 --> 00:28:47,454 Now, I was an army ranger back in the day, 714 00:28:47,522 --> 00:28:51,225 so I knew I could exist at one with nature. 715 00:28:51,293 --> 00:28:54,094 I don't have to open the paper every morning and get depressed. 716 00:28:54,162 --> 00:28:55,829 You lost faith in humanity. 717 00:28:55,897 --> 00:28:57,665 You know, Gus and I thought 718 00:28:57,732 --> 00:28:59,400 about doing the same thing after we saw The Village, 719 00:28:59,467 --> 00:29:01,467 but then we didn't because that movie was horrible. 720 00:29:01,503 --> 00:29:04,905 In any event, I created this pelt suit for camouflage. 721 00:29:04,973 --> 00:29:06,607 It allows me to hunt and move about 722 00:29:06,675 --> 00:29:09,577 without disturbing the natural order of things. 723 00:29:09,644 --> 00:29:12,413 - Plus, I burn easily. - God, you're like predator. 724 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,316 But totally doable. 725 00:29:15,383 --> 00:29:18,252 Well, I can't thank you enough for saving my partner, 726 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,744 and I really hate to be a buzzkill here, 727 00:29:20,864 --> 00:29:23,145 but there are still three bodies that are unaccounted for. 728 00:29:23,182 --> 00:29:24,513 I suppose you wouldn't know anything about that, 729 00:29:24,633 --> 00:29:25,634 would you, Mr. Dixon? 730 00:29:25,702 --> 00:29:28,370 No, ma'am, I wouldn't hurt a fly. 731 00:29:28,438 --> 00:29:30,005 Anybody hungry? 732 00:29:30,073 --> 00:29:31,773 - Oh, yeah. - Yes. 733 00:29:31,841 --> 00:29:34,176 I've been smoking some venison outside all morning. 734 00:29:34,244 --> 00:29:37,779 Trust me, my dry-rub is the best thing you'll ever taste. 735 00:29:37,847 --> 00:29:39,648 Affirmative. 736 00:29:39,716 --> 00:29:42,150 Uh, so it smells. 737 00:29:42,218 --> 00:29:46,021 Oh, my God. You're unbelievable. 738 00:29:46,089 --> 00:29:47,890 - What? - Don't you "what?" me. 739 00:29:47,957 --> 00:29:50,058 Show me your teeth. 740 00:29:50,126 --> 00:29:52,541 You sampled the meat. It's stuck in your teeth. 741 00:29:52,661 --> 00:29:55,497 You tasted the meat when we all thought it was Lassie? 742 00:29:55,565 --> 00:29:57,833 So what, Shawn? What difference does it make? 743 00:29:57,901 --> 00:29:59,601 You're the one who said, "He smells delicious." 744 00:29:59,669 --> 00:30:02,204 I was trying to put a positive spin on a horrific event. 745 00:30:02,272 --> 00:30:03,605 I certainly wasn't gonna partake. 746 00:30:03,673 --> 00:30:05,207 I can feel my ribs, Shawn. 747 00:30:05,275 --> 00:30:06,975 Gus, it hasn't even been 24 hours. 748 00:30:07,043 --> 00:30:09,745 Okay, okay, there's plenty of meat for everyone, 749 00:30:09,812 --> 00:30:11,847 and none of it's human, okay? 750 00:30:11,915 --> 00:30:13,615 I'm gonna hoof it up to the ranger station, 751 00:30:13,683 --> 00:30:15,617 get an ATV back in here for Carlton. 752 00:30:15,685 --> 00:30:18,186 I just need to get out of this suit. 753 00:30:18,254 --> 00:30:20,856 Speaking of suits, yours should be dry by now, Carlton. 754 00:30:20,924 --> 00:30:22,257 Thanks, Ed. 755 00:30:22,325 --> 00:30:24,726 Oh, this is like crack made out of deer. 756 00:30:24,794 --> 00:30:26,028 Where is Shawn? 757 00:30:26,095 --> 00:30:28,196 Probably in the back, snooping around. 758 00:30:28,264 --> 00:30:30,265 You guys aren't at all suspicious of Ed? 759 00:30:30,333 --> 00:30:31,900 You didn't seem to have any trouble eating his food. 760 00:30:31,968 --> 00:30:33,468 Ow! 761 00:30:33,536 --> 00:30:37,506 Spencer, you better not be snooping back there! 762 00:30:37,573 --> 00:30:40,642 Pretty bare bones, huh, Ed? 763 00:30:40,710 --> 00:30:42,744 Well, what do we have there? 764 00:30:49,619 --> 00:30:53,055 [Grunting] 765 00:30:53,122 --> 00:30:55,857 I'm just saying, dude's been living here for how long? 766 00:30:55,925 --> 00:30:58,026 And he's never seen or heard anything? 767 00:30:58,094 --> 00:31:00,162 - Come on, son. - Ed Dixon's an angel 768 00:31:00,229 --> 00:31:02,164 in wolf's, bear's, and elk's clothing. 769 00:31:02,231 --> 00:31:03,631 Why would he nurse me back to health 770 00:31:03,666 --> 00:31:05,033 if he was a cold-blooded killer, Guster? 771 00:31:05,101 --> 00:31:06,535 It doesn't make sense. He's a real man. 772 00:31:06,602 --> 00:31:07,970 He's two men. 773 00:31:08,037 --> 00:31:10,172 Seven feet and what? Like, 400 pounds? 774 00:31:10,239 --> 00:31:11,974 Did you get a load of those meat hooks? 775 00:31:12,041 --> 00:31:15,366 - Can you imagine? - Imagine what? 776 00:31:40,136 --> 00:31:41,703 Hey, you guys, you should get in here. 777 00:31:41,771 --> 00:31:44,441 Damn it, Spencer, I told you not to-- 778 00:31:46,342 --> 00:31:48,643 I found these buried in the bottom 779 00:31:48,711 --> 00:31:50,178 of Ed's foot locker, soaking wet. 780 00:31:50,562 --> 00:31:52,563 - It's Jimmy del Ray. - Titus Clackum. 781 00:31:52,631 --> 00:31:53,952 Both went missing two weeks ago. 782 00:31:54,071 --> 00:31:55,751 The trail went ice-cold. They're associated 783 00:31:55,758 --> 00:31:57,038 with the Serbian crime syndicate up north. 784 00:31:57,161 --> 00:31:58,695 These guys have taken contract killing 785 00:31:58,763 --> 00:32:00,664 - to a whole new level. - What did I tell you? 786 00:32:00,731 --> 00:32:02,699 Big Ed is taking out the trash for mobsters 787 00:32:02,767 --> 00:32:04,634 - who don't even speak English. - We don't know that for sure. 788 00:32:04,702 --> 00:32:06,036 I mean, they're bound to have accents. 789 00:32:06,104 --> 00:32:08,405 Wait, there were three bodies in that hole. 790 00:32:08,473 --> 00:32:10,207 - A woman? - Not necessarily. 791 00:32:13,111 --> 00:32:15,378 Aah! 792 00:32:15,446 --> 00:32:17,414 I am sensing it was a girl 793 00:32:17,482 --> 00:32:19,349 with a dragon tattoo on the calf. 794 00:32:19,417 --> 00:32:21,377 A dragon eating something bloody and heart-shaped. 795 00:32:21,385 --> 00:32:23,186 - Heart. - Eva Kirilenko. 796 00:32:23,254 --> 00:32:24,921 I've certainly booked her enough times. 797 00:32:24,989 --> 00:32:26,790 Hooker/stripper, and guess where she worked the pole. 798 00:32:26,858 --> 00:32:28,258 Clackum's. I'll be damned. 799 00:32:28,326 --> 00:32:29,759 She must've gotten mixed up in his business. 800 00:32:29,827 --> 00:32:31,128 She should've stuck to hooking. 801 00:32:31,195 --> 00:32:32,696 All right, there it is. 802 00:32:32,763 --> 00:32:34,197 We know who the dead people are, 803 00:32:34,265 --> 00:32:35,966 and we know who killed them, and we're in his house. 804 00:32:36,033 --> 00:32:37,300 Dixon, though? I mean it doesn't even 805 00:32:37,368 --> 00:32:38,702 sort of sound like Serbian name. 806 00:32:38,769 --> 00:32:40,904 Unless he changed it from Dixonovich. 807 00:32:40,972 --> 00:32:43,607 We need to get out of here. 808 00:32:46,611 --> 00:32:47,944 Oh! Aah! 809 00:32:50,648 --> 00:32:51,769 You care to explain these? 810 00:32:51,816 --> 00:32:53,817 I found those netting salmon. 811 00:32:53,885 --> 00:32:55,652 I'm afraid you're gonna have to come with us, Ed. 812 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:57,654 I'm afraid you're not gonna make it 813 00:32:57,722 --> 00:32:59,856 out of here alive, Carlton. 814 00:33:06,164 --> 00:33:07,947 Um, Ed? 815 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,568 I have a pulse. He's still alive. 816 00:33:11,688 --> 00:33:13,022 But I don't think he's gonna make it. 817 00:33:13,090 --> 00:33:14,524 - Damn it. - So does this mean 818 00:33:14,591 --> 00:33:16,902 - that Big Ed isn't a killer? - Yeah, probably, Kate. 819 00:33:17,022 --> 00:33:18,456 But I don't think now's the time to make your move. 820 00:33:18,523 --> 00:33:19,683 It's got to be the Serbians. 821 00:33:19,698 --> 00:33:21,667 Aw, come on, man. Don't tell me that. 822 00:33:21,702 --> 00:33:23,325 How do we know Ed wasn't already working for them? 823 00:33:23,470 --> 00:33:25,638 Because he saved my life, and he served our country, 824 00:33:25,705 --> 00:33:27,206 and he lost his wife, and he's got a garden, Guster. 825 00:33:27,274 --> 00:33:29,008 Why would the Serbs be out here? 826 00:33:29,075 --> 00:33:30,643 How would they have known Gus was gonna uncover those bodies? 827 00:33:30,710 --> 00:33:32,344 Right. I didn't do it on purpose. 828 00:33:32,412 --> 00:33:34,480 Wait. 829 00:33:34,548 --> 00:33:36,248 - The pictures on the blog. - What about them? 830 00:33:36,316 --> 00:33:38,350 You guys have been posting pictures on your blog 831 00:33:38,418 --> 00:33:40,119 all over these woods this week. 832 00:33:40,187 --> 00:33:42,655 The Serbs are bound to have people keeping tabs on the area. 833 00:33:42,722 --> 00:33:45,057 You basically advertised that you were out here. 834 00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:46,692 Which means they knew their dumping ground 835 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,394 has been compromised, so they sent out some mule 836 00:33:48,461 --> 00:33:49,995 to tie up the loose ends and move the bodies. 837 00:33:50,063 --> 00:33:52,331 - Including me? - No, Gus, you're probably okay. 838 00:33:52,399 --> 00:33:53,566 Of course including you. 839 00:33:53,633 --> 00:33:56,502 Everyone, all of us, and poor Big Ed. 840 00:33:56,570 --> 00:33:58,237 He made it all the way back here to warn us, 841 00:33:58,305 --> 00:33:59,638 that brave sumbitch. 842 00:33:59,706 --> 00:34:01,273 Or they let him go 843 00:34:01,341 --> 00:34:03,209 so they could track him and see where he goes. 844 00:34:03,276 --> 00:34:05,396 So some cold-blooded Serbians are coming to kill us? 845 00:34:05,412 --> 00:34:07,780 Has the Student Academy Award ever been won posthumously? 846 00:34:07,847 --> 00:34:10,349 - We need to get out of here. - Gus, no, it's too dangerous. 847 00:34:10,417 --> 00:34:11,650 That's like leading lambs to slaughter. 848 00:34:11,718 --> 00:34:13,419 O'Hara's right. 849 00:34:13,486 --> 00:34:15,087 If they want a fight, we'll give them a fight. 850 00:34:15,155 --> 00:34:17,223 - I'm really more of a lover. All: We know. 851 00:34:17,290 --> 00:34:18,524 So what the hell are we gonna do? 852 00:34:18,592 --> 00:34:21,293 Well, look around this place. 853 00:34:25,732 --> 00:34:27,499 Let's get ready. 854 00:34:27,567 --> 00:34:30,469 You do realize we're in grave danger, right, Chavo? 855 00:34:30,537 --> 00:34:33,138 - People need to know. - What does that even mean? 856 00:34:33,206 --> 00:34:35,107 I have no idea. It's just a default excuse 857 00:34:35,175 --> 00:34:36,542 people give in found-footage movies 858 00:34:36,610 --> 00:34:39,311 for why they keep shooting no matter what happens. 859 00:34:39,379 --> 00:34:42,481 You guys are using me like a chest of drawers, aren't you? 860 00:34:42,549 --> 00:34:45,718 - Try to relax, Ed. - Ow, that's wrong. 861 00:34:45,785 --> 00:34:48,320 Go pro or go home. 862 00:34:48,388 --> 00:34:52,157 [Glass shattering] 863 00:34:52,225 --> 00:34:54,526 All right. 864 00:34:54,594 --> 00:34:56,462 I think we've done all we can do for tonight. 865 00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:58,197 With any luck, sundown will come without incident. 866 00:34:58,265 --> 00:34:59,665 We can head out of here at first light. 867 00:34:59,733 --> 00:35:01,767 I'll be keeping watch out here, you guys stay 868 00:35:01,835 --> 00:35:04,103 in the back with Lassiter, and take your cues from him. 869 00:35:04,170 --> 00:35:07,106 We are light on firearms, but he's got a gun in the back, 870 00:35:07,173 --> 00:35:10,576 and God knows what he used to do with that morning star. 871 00:35:10,644 --> 00:35:12,444 I'm sorry it's come to this, 872 00:35:12,512 --> 00:35:14,813 but we will make it out of here if we work together. 873 00:35:14,881 --> 00:35:17,383 Yeah, you know what? We're sorry too. 874 00:35:17,450 --> 00:35:18,784 No, we're not. [Gunshot] 875 00:35:18,852 --> 00:35:21,553 - Chi-Chi! Chi-Chi! Dude! - Take cover! 876 00:35:21,621 --> 00:35:23,322 Get in the cabin now! 877 00:35:23,390 --> 00:35:24,890 - Chi-Chi! - Aah! Flip the table over! 878 00:35:24,958 --> 00:35:27,826 - Gus, flip the table! - Oh, my God! 879 00:35:27,894 --> 00:35:30,162 - What about the camera? - Kate, what are you doing? 880 00:35:30,230 --> 00:35:32,498 People need to know! [Gunshot] 881 00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,266 - Oh! - Katie! 882 00:35:34,334 --> 00:35:37,036 - [Groaning] - Oof! 883 00:35:37,103 --> 00:35:38,737 Dude, she tried the Denzel. 884 00:35:38,805 --> 00:35:40,306 - We're gonna get shot, Shawn! - Where did Jules go? 885 00:35:40,373 --> 00:35:41,613 I can't just leave her out here. 886 00:35:41,675 --> 00:35:43,309 At least she has a gun. [Gunshot] 887 00:35:43,376 --> 00:35:45,778 - [Shouting in Serbian] - [Squeals] It's the Serbs! 888 00:35:45,845 --> 00:35:48,347 [Squealing] [Shouting in Serbian] 889 00:35:48,415 --> 00:35:51,050 Ah! Ah! 890 00:35:51,117 --> 00:35:53,118 Holy living Mary. 891 00:35:53,186 --> 00:35:54,620 [Shouting in Serbian] 892 00:35:54,688 --> 00:35:56,221 What do you think that means? 893 00:35:56,289 --> 00:35:59,158 It means we need to get out of here, Shawn. 894 00:35:59,225 --> 00:36:01,160 Shawn! Gus! Where'd you guys go? 895 00:36:01,227 --> 00:36:02,328 - Shawn! - Lassie! 896 00:36:02,395 --> 00:36:04,296 Jules knows how to shoot a crossbow! 897 00:36:04,364 --> 00:36:07,733 [Both shouting in Serbian] 898 00:36:07,801 --> 00:36:10,069 Everybody get down! 899 00:36:10,136 --> 00:36:13,072 [Gunfire] 900 00:36:13,139 --> 00:36:15,774 [Gus screams] 901 00:36:15,842 --> 00:36:17,076 This is insane! 902 00:36:17,143 --> 00:36:18,911 [Shouting in Serbian] 903 00:36:18,978 --> 00:36:20,179 - Holy crap! - Uh, Kate. 904 00:36:20,246 --> 00:36:24,183 [Speaking Serbian] 905 00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:25,818 What are you doing, Lassie? Shoot that dude. 906 00:36:25,885 --> 00:36:28,420 - You stay down and shut up. - Uh...somebody help us. 907 00:36:28,488 --> 00:36:30,489 Come to papa, you son of a bitch. 908 00:36:30,557 --> 00:36:32,825 - [Groaning] - Katie? 909 00:36:32,892 --> 00:36:35,761 Um...help? Somebody help us! 910 00:36:35,829 --> 00:36:37,309 - Katie? - Somebody! Somebody help us! 911 00:36:37,330 --> 00:36:40,165 [Gunshots] 912 00:36:40,233 --> 00:36:42,668 Thank you! Thanks! Where's the other one? 913 00:36:42,736 --> 00:36:44,737 Lassie, you got him. You totally shot that dude. 914 00:36:44,804 --> 00:36:47,239 Of course I got him. Don't be an idiot. 915 00:36:47,307 --> 00:36:48,674 Where's O'Hara? 916 00:36:48,742 --> 00:36:51,744 I can't see anything to the west. 917 00:36:51,811 --> 00:36:55,114 This could be my last meal, Shawn. 918 00:36:55,181 --> 00:36:56,448 Whoa! 919 00:36:56,516 --> 00:36:59,218 Carlton, cover me! [Gunshots] 920 00:37:03,356 --> 00:37:04,656 Chavo, Kate, I need you guys 921 00:37:04,724 --> 00:37:06,225 to apply pressure to each other's wounds. 922 00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:07,826 - Can you do that? - Chavo, how you holding up? 923 00:37:07,894 --> 00:37:10,729 - I peed. I'm still peeing. - Oh, Chavo, God! My hair! 924 00:37:10,797 --> 00:37:12,831 [Gunfire] [Grunts] 925 00:37:12,899 --> 00:37:14,867 Carlton! Shawn! 926 00:37:14,934 --> 00:37:18,737 Oh, my God! He shot Lassie! 927 00:37:18,805 --> 00:37:20,539 This is gonna be so hard on my son. 928 00:37:20,607 --> 00:37:23,842 - You don't have a son. - You know what I mean, Shawn. 929 00:37:23,910 --> 00:37:25,511 [Squealing] 930 00:37:25,578 --> 00:37:27,346 [Speaking Serbian] 931 00:37:27,414 --> 00:37:30,149 [Both grunting] 932 00:37:30,216 --> 00:37:32,985 [Bones snap] 933 00:37:33,052 --> 00:37:36,622 Ed, you're alive. Thank you. 934 00:37:36,689 --> 00:37:38,190 No problem. 935 00:37:38,258 --> 00:37:41,160 I feel...woozy. 936 00:37:44,264 --> 00:37:46,498 - Jules, you're so badass. - What happened? 937 00:37:46,566 --> 00:37:49,201 That dead Serb shot Lassie. 938 00:37:49,269 --> 00:37:51,670 Carlton? Oh, come on. Talk to me, Carlton. 939 00:37:51,738 --> 00:37:54,206 [Groans] 940 00:37:54,274 --> 00:37:56,790 This really hasn't been my day, O'Hara. 941 00:38:01,687 --> 00:38:03,487 It's a damn shame. 942 00:38:03,555 --> 00:38:05,432 Here lies Big Ed Dixon. 943 00:38:05,552 --> 00:38:07,992 He was a gentle giant with a sensitive soul 944 00:38:08,060 --> 00:38:10,928 and an impressive armament of medieval weaponry. 945 00:38:10,996 --> 00:38:12,330 If it wasn't for him, 946 00:38:12,397 --> 00:38:14,031 - Gus would be dead. - So would you, Shawn. 947 00:38:14,099 --> 00:38:15,166 Now that remains open for debate. 948 00:38:15,233 --> 00:38:16,600 There is no debate. 949 00:38:16,668 --> 00:38:18,369 Bang, bang, I'm dead, you're dead. 950 00:38:18,437 --> 00:38:20,317 I would've thrown the camera at his face, Gus. 951 00:38:20,372 --> 00:38:22,406 Oh, please, there's no way you would've thrown--aah! 952 00:38:22,474 --> 00:38:26,310 - Ow! [Groans] - What? 953 00:38:26,378 --> 00:38:28,713 Doesn't anybody check for a pulse anymore? 954 00:38:28,780 --> 00:38:30,614 Oh, my gosh. You're still alive. 955 00:38:30,682 --> 00:38:32,183 I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't know, Ed. 956 00:38:32,250 --> 00:38:34,552 Hold on. I need an EMT over here right now! 957 00:38:34,619 --> 00:38:36,988 Ed Dixon is alive! Hang in there, Ed. 958 00:38:37,055 --> 00:38:38,356 We're gonna get you to the hospital stat. 959 00:38:38,423 --> 00:38:40,491 Um, I kind of turned my back 960 00:38:40,559 --> 00:38:42,093 on modern medicine ten years ago. 961 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,627 I'm fine. 962 00:38:43,695 --> 00:38:46,163 Can you just pull this axe out of my spine, please? 963 00:38:46,231 --> 00:38:48,299 Uh, I think you might want to make an exception for this one. 964 00:38:48,367 --> 00:38:50,201 You don't want to get a staph infection. 965 00:38:50,268 --> 00:38:52,470 Yeah, I suppose so. 966 00:38:52,537 --> 00:38:55,706 I'm getting woozy. 967 00:38:55,774 --> 00:38:59,076 Didn't anybody hear me? Ed Dixon is alive! 968 00:38:59,144 --> 00:39:02,146 [Pop music] 969 00:39:02,214 --> 00:39:09,987 ♪ 970 00:39:31,576 --> 00:39:37,581 [Cheers and applause] 971 00:39:37,649 --> 00:39:40,217 That's pretty much it, guys. That's--that's our film. 972 00:39:40,285 --> 00:39:43,154 - Did that just say "Seacrest"? - Yeah, you know what, Chavo? 973 00:39:43,221 --> 00:39:45,189 I realized, uh, while I was doing the credits 974 00:39:45,257 --> 00:39:47,058 that I don't know your last name. 975 00:39:47,125 --> 00:39:50,828 I mean, I assume it's something like "Cortez" or "Jinjosa," 976 00:39:50,896 --> 00:39:53,531 or "Ponce de Leon," but, uh, I wasn't positive, 977 00:39:53,598 --> 00:39:55,499 so I just, uh-- I went with something safe. 978 00:39:55,567 --> 00:39:57,468 - That is safe. - It's genius, Shawn. 979 00:39:57,536 --> 00:39:59,270 That is the best film I have seen 980 00:39:59,337 --> 00:40:01,038 since Love and Basketball. 981 00:40:01,106 --> 00:40:02,506 Wow, that's-- 982 00:40:02,574 --> 00:40:04,075 Oh, um, I really liked 983 00:40:04,142 --> 00:40:06,077 some of the nice editing choices you made. 984 00:40:06,144 --> 00:40:07,745 The dissolve was great. And, ooh! 985 00:40:07,813 --> 00:40:10,081 The--the flashback? Nice touch. 986 00:40:10,148 --> 00:40:13,784 Well, uh, that flashback is actually how it-- 987 00:40:13,852 --> 00:40:16,220 how it looks in my head, this psychic brain of mine. 988 00:40:16,288 --> 00:40:18,589 I thought it might be nice to give you guys a little peek 989 00:40:18,657 --> 00:40:20,458 into the process that I am a slave to. 990 00:40:20,525 --> 00:40:22,426 Interesting. 991 00:40:22,494 --> 00:40:24,662 Please remove your arm from around my shoulder this second. 992 00:40:24,729 --> 00:40:26,297 You got it, chief. 993 00:40:26,364 --> 00:40:28,365 Yes, well, you're all very lucky to be alive. 994 00:40:28,433 --> 00:40:30,301 The Serbians don't mess around. 995 00:40:30,368 --> 00:40:33,104 Especially when they're wearing masks and speaking Serbian. 996 00:40:33,171 --> 00:40:34,405 Well said, pop. 997 00:40:34,473 --> 00:40:36,307 I'm also happy to report 998 00:40:36,374 --> 00:40:38,776 that Big Ed will make a full recovery. 999 00:40:38,844 --> 00:40:40,478 - Mm-hmm. - God love him. 1000 00:40:40,545 --> 00:40:42,113 And if I may just add that, 1001 00:40:42,180 --> 00:40:43,447 while I'm not particularly pleased 1002 00:40:43,515 --> 00:40:45,716 with how I'm portrayed in this film, 1003 00:40:45,784 --> 00:40:49,120 Detective O'Hara's heroics cannot be overstated. 1004 00:40:49,187 --> 00:40:51,322 Yeah! [Applause] 1005 00:40:51,389 --> 00:40:52,890 Shawn, thanks for putting this all together. 1006 00:40:52,958 --> 00:40:55,292 It was the least we can do. I mean, after all, 1007 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,394 you are giving up your Student Academy Award 1008 00:40:57,462 --> 00:40:58,896 by offering up this footage as evidence. 1009 00:40:58,964 --> 00:41:00,764 Hopefully it will bring you some comfort to know 1010 00:41:00,832 --> 00:41:02,299 that the remaining killer will be prosecuted 1011 00:41:02,367 --> 00:41:03,834 to the full extent of the law. 1012 00:41:03,902 --> 00:41:05,803 Well, it all worked out about as well as it could 1013 00:41:05,871 --> 00:41:08,405 considering that most of you have gunshot wounds. 1014 00:41:08,473 --> 00:41:11,909 You ever been shot, papa bear? 1015 00:41:11,977 --> 00:41:15,045 Yeah. Yeah, as a matter of fact, I have. 1016 00:41:15,113 --> 00:41:17,448 Wow. That's super hot. 1017 00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:20,151 Okay, well, you know, some of us do have to get back 1018 00:41:20,218 --> 00:41:22,820 - to running a precinct, so-- - [Chuckling] 1019 00:41:22,888 --> 00:41:24,788 I appreciate that, Karen, but you're the one 1020 00:41:24,856 --> 00:41:27,791 that does the heavy lifting around here. 1021 00:41:27,859 --> 00:41:30,261 Drive safe, if you drove. 1022 00:41:34,599 --> 00:41:36,767 "Gopher"? You credited me as "Gopher"? 1023 00:41:36,835 --> 00:41:38,202 You must be out of your damn mind, Shawn. 1024 00:41:38,270 --> 00:41:39,370 I put my life on the line. 1025 00:41:39,437 --> 00:41:41,472 I was supposed to be C-camera operator 1026 00:41:41,540 --> 00:41:43,307 and co-producer. We had a deal. 1027 00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:44,808 Not to mention my points on the back end. 1028 00:41:44,876 --> 00:41:46,510 You're right. This is an outrage. 1029 00:41:46,578 --> 00:41:48,294 I'm gonna take this up with post. 1030 00:41:48,414 --> 00:41:49,446 Cool. 1031 00:41:49,514 --> 00:41:52,059 Wait a second, you are post. Get back here, Shawn! 1032 00:41:52,583 --> 00:42:02,729 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com