1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,216 On the other hand, some physicists are concerned 2 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,310 that if this supercollider actually works, 3 00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:06,523 it'll create a black hole and swallow up the Earth, 4 00:00:06,643 --> 00:00:08,336 ending life as we know it. 5 00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:10,237 What a bunch of crybabies. 6 00:00:10,732 --> 00:00:12,432 No guts, no glory, man. 7 00:00:13,498 --> 00:00:14,863 Hey, check it out. 8 00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:18,143 The School of Pharmacology is looking for volunteers. 9 00:00:18,263 --> 00:00:20,732 "We are testing a new medication for social anxiety, 10 00:00:20,892 --> 00:00:24,776 "panic attacks, agoraphobia and obsessive compulsive disorder." 11 00:00:26,545 --> 00:00:28,782 Why would they be looking for test subjects here? 12 00:00:30,134 --> 00:00:31,461 I don't know, Raj. 13 00:00:31,581 --> 00:00:34,335 Maybe the comic book store doesn't have a bulletin board. 14 00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,375 - What's going on? - Hot girl in Sheldon's office. 15 00:00:41,538 --> 00:00:42,629 Sheldon's office? 16 00:00:44,889 --> 00:00:46,048 Is she lost? 17 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:48,365 I don't think so. 18 00:00:48,485 --> 00:00:50,595 I followed her here from the parking lot. 19 00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:54,123 Maybe she's his lawyer. 20 00:00:54,431 --> 00:00:56,618 Well, she's free to examine my briefs. 21 00:00:57,310 --> 00:01:00,188 I know, I'm disgusting. I should be punished... by her. 22 00:01:00,349 --> 00:01:01,727 Look, I did it again. 23 00:01:02,717 --> 00:01:03,932 That should do it. 24 00:01:04,052 --> 00:01:05,599 Thank you for coming by. 25 00:01:12,187 --> 00:01:13,085 Hello. 26 00:01:14,691 --> 00:01:16,056 Hey, buddy... 27 00:01:18,315 --> 00:01:19,679 "Buddy..."? 28 00:01:20,577 --> 00:01:23,336 Sorry I'm late. I'm working on a project 29 00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:26,072 that may take me up on the next space shuttle. 30 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:29,342 How can you be late? I wasn't expecting you at all. 31 00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:32,929 Nobody ever expects me. Sometimes you just look and... 32 00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:34,607 Bam! Howard Wolowitz. 33 00:01:36,801 --> 00:01:38,184 Are you gonna introduce us? 34 00:01:38,737 --> 00:01:40,353 All right. This is Missy. 35 00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:44,190 Missy, this is Leonard and Rajesh, and you've already met Howard. 36 00:01:44,351 --> 00:01:47,176 - It's nice to meet you. - You, too, as well, also. 37 00:01:50,046 --> 00:01:51,698 So, how do you two know each other? 38 00:01:52,543 --> 00:01:55,926 He once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head. 39 00:01:59,437 --> 00:02:00,427 Excuse me? 40 00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:03,996 She's my twin sister. She thinks she's funny, 41 00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:06,284 but frankly, I've never been able to see it. 42 00:02:06,404 --> 00:02:09,090 That's because you have no measurable sense of humor, Shelly. 43 00:02:09,417 --> 00:02:12,015 How exactly would one measure a sense of humor? 44 00:02:12,342 --> 00:02:13,800 A humormometer? 45 00:02:16,841 --> 00:02:18,961 I think you're delightfully droll. 46 00:02:19,081 --> 00:02:21,559 Or, as the French say, très drôle. 47 00:02:22,232 --> 00:02:23,730 So let me see if I got this. 48 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,733 Leonard, Howard and... 49 00:02:26,894 --> 00:02:28,935 I'm sorry, what was your name again? 50 00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:56,729 Rajesh. 51 00:02:58,168 --> 00:03:00,635 Episode 115: The Shiksa Indeterminacy 52 00:03:01,302 --> 00:03:04,542 Transcript: swsub.com Synch: sub-way.fr | italiansubs.net 53 00:03:20,843 --> 00:03:23,030 So Missy, what brings you all the way from Texas? 54 00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:25,393 Was it perhaps destiny? I think it was destiny. 55 00:03:25,812 --> 00:03:28,128 My friend's getting married at Disneyland tomorrow night. 56 00:03:28,289 --> 00:03:30,563 Destiny, thy name is Anaheim. 57 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:36,428 And I had to drop off some papers for Shelly to sign for my Dad's estate. 58 00:03:36,589 --> 00:03:40,098 The papers could've been mailed. Mom sent you to spy on me, didn't she? 59 00:03:40,259 --> 00:03:42,559 I guess that's why they call you a genius. 60 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,112 They call me a genius because I'm a genius. 61 00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:48,940 {\pos(192,200)}Tell Mom that I currently weigh 165 pounds 62 00:03:49,101 --> 00:03:51,314 and that I'm having regular bowel movements. 63 00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:54,112 Enjoy the wedding. Good-bye. 64 00:03:57,249 --> 00:04:00,744 If the wedding's not until tomorrow, why don't you stay with us tonight? 65 00:04:00,905 --> 00:04:03,455 I don't think so. Shelly doesn't like company. 66 00:04:03,615 --> 00:04:06,039 Even as a little boy, he'd send his imaginary friends home 67 00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:07,417 at the end of the day. 68 00:04:07,891 --> 00:04:11,004 They were not friends. They were imaginary colleagues. 69 00:04:11,924 --> 00:04:14,393 Look, you're here. We have plenty of room. 70 00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:15,508 No, we don't. 71 00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:17,998 Come on, Shelly. She's family. 72 00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:21,290 So what, I don't issue invitations to your mother. 73 00:04:22,406 --> 00:04:25,143 It would be nice not to have to drive to Anaheim in rush hour. 74 00:04:25,304 --> 00:04:27,074 And don't ever call me Shelly. 75 00:04:27,972 --> 00:04:29,773 So it's settled: you'll stay with us. 76 00:04:29,934 --> 00:04:33,095 Yeah, I'll walk you to your car. You're in structure 3, level C, right? 77 00:04:37,247 --> 00:04:38,798 What just happened? 78 00:04:40,985 --> 00:04:42,854 So anyway, we're eight years old 79 00:04:42,974 --> 00:04:45,060 and Sheldon converts my Easy Bake Oven 80 00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:47,165 to some kind of high-powered furnace. 81 00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:49,312 Just classic. 82 00:04:50,844 --> 00:04:53,678 I needed a place to fire ceramic semiconductor substrates 83 00:04:53,798 --> 00:04:55,590 for homemade integrated circuits. 84 00:04:55,818 --> 00:04:57,893 He was trying to build some sort of armed robot 85 00:04:58,013 --> 00:04:59,426 to keep me out of his room. 86 00:04:59,743 --> 00:05:02,776 Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room. 87 00:05:03,466 --> 00:05:05,998 Anyway, I go to make those little corn muffins they give you. 88 00:05:06,118 --> 00:05:09,432 There's a big flash. Next thing you know my eyebrows are gone. 89 00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,292 Not your eyebrows! 90 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:16,016 Yep, I had to go through the entire second grade 91 00:05:16,136 --> 00:05:18,530 with crooked eyebrows my mom drew on. 92 00:05:18,894 --> 00:05:20,296 Is that what that was? 93 00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:24,411 I just assumed that the second grade curriculum had rendered you quizzical. 94 00:05:27,699 --> 00:05:30,497 You left your underwear in the dryer downstairs. 95 00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:38,049 Those are not mine. 96 00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:42,745 Really? They have your little name label in them. 97 00:05:43,941 --> 00:05:46,217 Yeah, no, I do... I use those... 98 00:05:46,594 --> 00:05:50,071 just to polish up my spearfishing equipment. 99 00:05:52,206 --> 00:05:53,383 I spearfish. 100 00:05:57,515 --> 00:06:00,071 When I'm not crossbow hunting, I spearfish. 101 00:06:03,369 --> 00:06:05,452 This is Sheldon's twin sister, Missy. 102 00:06:05,612 --> 00:06:07,162 This is our neighbor, Penny. 103 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:10,568 - You don't look that much alike. - Can I get a hallelujah? 104 00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:14,004 Fraternal twins come from two separate eggs. 105 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,211 They are no more alike than any other siblings. 106 00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:20,883 Hey, guess what. I've been accepted 107 00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:24,803 as a test subject for a new miracle drug to overcome pathological shyness. 108 00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:28,934 - Good for you, Raj. - Yes, I'm very hopeful. Hello, Missy. 109 00:06:39,554 --> 00:06:41,947 They mentioned there may be side effects. 110 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,148 So, Missy, 111 00:06:45,937 --> 00:06:49,379 have you ever met a man from the exotic subcontinent of India? 112 00:06:50,867 --> 00:06:53,208 Well, there's Dr. Patel at our church. 113 00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,126 Yes, Patel... good man. 114 00:06:55,579 --> 00:06:58,380 Do you like motorcycles? 'Cause I ride a hog. 115 00:06:59,221 --> 00:07:02,467 A hog? You have a two-cylinder scooter with a basket in the front. 116 00:07:04,309 --> 00:07:06,595 You still have to wear a helmet. 117 00:07:08,309 --> 00:07:10,445 Have you ever heard of the Kama Sutra? 118 00:07:10,565 --> 00:07:13,080 - The sex book. - The Indian sex book. 119 00:07:13,556 --> 00:07:15,382 In other words, if you "wonder, wonder 120 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,167 who wrote the book of love," it was us. 121 00:07:20,405 --> 00:07:23,608 - Sheldon's sister is pretty cute, huh? - I wasn't staring. 122 00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:28,423 I didn't say you were. I just said she was cute. 123 00:07:30,494 --> 00:07:31,455 Maybe, 124 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,207 if you like women who are tall... 125 00:07:35,426 --> 00:07:36,627 and perfect. 126 00:07:39,651 --> 00:07:41,785 Sheldon, why are you ignoring your sister? 127 00:07:41,905 --> 00:07:44,960 I'm not ignoring my sister. I'm ignoring all of you. 128 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,596 I brought snacks! 129 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,992 Oh, my, gherkins and... 130 00:07:51,873 --> 00:07:53,754 Onion dip. It's onion dip. 131 00:07:56,488 --> 00:07:58,059 We don't entertain much. 132 00:08:00,375 --> 00:08:02,669 Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas? 133 00:08:03,903 --> 00:08:06,307 - I guess. - We Indians invented them. 134 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,758 You're welcome. 135 00:08:10,393 --> 00:08:12,920 Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision. 136 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,202 You're welcome. 137 00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,547 Missy, I'm gonna go get my nails done. Do you want to come? 138 00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:25,917 God, yes. Thanks. 139 00:08:26,398 --> 00:08:27,589 You're welcome. 140 00:08:28,788 --> 00:08:31,272 - Bye, guys. - Bye, Missy, see you. 141 00:08:31,764 --> 00:08:34,431 - Goodbye, Leonard. - Oh, yeah, no, bye, Penny. 142 00:08:36,437 --> 00:08:37,958 You two have to back off. 143 00:08:38,078 --> 00:08:39,981 Why should I back off? You back off, dude. 144 00:08:40,141 --> 00:08:42,692 Excuse me, this is my apartment, and she's my roommate's sister. 145 00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:45,539 - So what? You've already got Penny! - How do I have Penny? 146 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,530 In what universe do I have Penny? 147 00:08:48,927 --> 00:08:50,980 - So I can have Penny? - Hell, no! 148 00:08:52,362 --> 00:08:54,571 Excuse me. Can I interject something? 149 00:08:56,215 --> 00:08:59,417 I'm ordering pizza online. Is everyone okay with pepperoni? 150 00:09:01,649 --> 00:09:04,706 - Sheldon, can I talk to you in private? - I guess. 151 00:09:05,347 --> 00:09:07,593 Don't worry. I was going to order you cheese-less. 152 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,059 - Thank you. - It's okay. 153 00:09:09,179 --> 00:09:12,185 Lactose intolerance is nothing to be embarrassed about. 154 00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:16,930 I'm a fancy Indian man. We invented pajamas. 155 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,232 Hey, look at me. I don't have a foreskin. 156 00:09:31,359 --> 00:09:34,619 Are you aware that your sister is an incredibly attractive woman? 157 00:09:37,418 --> 00:09:39,661 She certainly has the symmetry and low body fat 158 00:09:39,781 --> 00:09:41,996 that Western culture deems desirable. 159 00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:44,270 It's noteworthy, at other points in history, 160 00:09:44,390 --> 00:09:46,390 heavier women were the standard for beauty 161 00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:48,799 because their girth suggested affluence. 162 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,066 That's fascinating... 163 00:09:51,186 --> 00:09:53,924 I didn't say it was fascinating. I said it was noteworthy. 164 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,157 All right... noted. 165 00:09:57,209 --> 00:10:00,133 But my point is that Koothrappali and Wolowitz, 166 00:10:01,014 --> 00:10:02,999 they're hitting on your sister. 167 00:10:06,986 --> 00:10:07,819 Okay. 168 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,675 You know, I don't want to criticize your rhetorical style, 169 00:10:10,795 --> 00:10:13,041 but we'd be a lot further along in this conversation 170 00:10:13,161 --> 00:10:14,950 if you'd begun with that thought. 171 00:10:15,394 --> 00:10:16,702 - Great... - I'm saying 172 00:10:16,863 --> 00:10:19,956 we took quite an unnecessary detour from what I now understand to be your thesis. 173 00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:21,089 Whatever. 174 00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,501 You have to do something about it. 175 00:10:25,026 --> 00:10:27,464 - Why? - Because she's your sister. 176 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,088 I don't understand. 177 00:10:30,637 --> 00:10:33,031 Yes, we shared a uterus for nine months, 178 00:10:33,151 --> 00:10:36,285 but since then we've pretty much gone our own separate ways. 179 00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:39,516 Okay, consider this. 180 00:10:39,883 --> 00:10:41,462 With your father gone, 181 00:10:41,582 --> 00:10:43,270 it is your responsibility 182 00:10:43,612 --> 00:10:46,466 to make sure that Missy chooses a suitable mate. 183 00:10:48,612 --> 00:10:50,103 I hadn't considered that. 184 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,869 We do share DNA. 185 00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:55,617 So there is the possibility, however remote, 186 00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:57,424 that resting in her loins 187 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:01,021 is the potential for another individual as remarkable as myself. 188 00:11:01,854 --> 00:11:03,458 Exactly. 189 00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:07,028 And you owe it to yourself and to posterity 190 00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:10,882 to protect the genetic integrity of your sister's future offspring. 191 00:11:13,012 --> 00:11:14,258 You're right. 192 00:11:14,557 --> 00:11:16,810 If someone wants to get at Missy's Fallopian tubes, 193 00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:18,751 they'll have to go through me. 194 00:11:28,393 --> 00:11:30,266 I am Shiva the Destroyer! 195 00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:32,067 I will have the woman. 196 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:36,893 I'm warning you, I was judo champion at math camp. 197 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:40,157 All right, now that's enough juvenile squabbling. 198 00:11:40,277 --> 00:11:41,996 You stop it. Stop it, I say! 199 00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:45,331 I'm going to settle this right now. 200 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,953 Neither of you are good enough for my sister. 201 00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:49,754 Who are you to decide that? 202 00:11:49,915 --> 00:11:52,880 He's the man of his family. You have to respect his wishes. 203 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,098 - You're out, too, by the way. - Say what? 204 00:11:55,373 --> 00:11:57,112 It's nothing personal. I'd just prefer 205 00:11:57,232 --> 00:11:59,448 if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent 206 00:11:59,568 --> 00:12:01,617 every time they ate an eskimo pie. 207 00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:09,648 What are you so happy about? 208 00:12:09,966 --> 00:12:10,959 I'm not happy. 209 00:12:11,211 --> 00:12:13,633 It's the medication. I can't stop smiling. 210 00:12:19,729 --> 00:12:22,931 Now that Leonard's made me aware how high the genetic stakes are... 211 00:12:23,051 --> 00:12:26,291 we have to face the fact that none of you are suitable mates for my sister. 212 00:12:26,761 --> 00:12:29,271 Wait a minute. Leonard made you aware of that? 213 00:12:31,065 --> 00:12:33,119 We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 214 00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:36,396 Excuse me, I think you're missing a big opportunity here. 215 00:12:36,516 --> 00:12:37,302 How so? 216 00:12:37,463 --> 00:12:40,798 Everybody knows genetic diversity produces the strongest offspring. 217 00:12:41,148 --> 00:12:44,303 Why not put a little mocha in the family latte? 218 00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:48,975 In principle, you have a point. 219 00:12:49,149 --> 00:12:51,112 But as a practical matter, need I remind you 220 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,235 that it takes experimental pharmaceuticals 221 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,895 to simply enable you to speak to the opposite sex. 222 00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,020 I think you're focusing entirely too much on the drugs. 223 00:13:06,191 --> 00:13:07,576 Is it 'cause I'm Jewish? 224 00:13:07,696 --> 00:13:10,664 'Cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister. 225 00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:19,306 This has nothing to do with religion. 226 00:13:19,426 --> 00:13:21,963 This has to do with the fact that you're a tiny, tiny man 227 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,901 who still lives with his mother. 228 00:13:24,862 --> 00:13:27,059 Sheldon, you are really being unreasonable. 229 00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:28,186 Am I? 230 00:13:28,736 --> 00:13:32,318 Here, eat this cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister. 231 00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,256 Oh, really? 232 00:13:42,417 --> 00:13:44,434 Shelly, can I speak to you for a minute? 233 00:13:44,554 --> 00:13:45,389 Alone. 234 00:13:46,278 --> 00:13:48,852 Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone? 235 00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:51,068 Usually nobody wants to be alone with me. 236 00:13:57,581 --> 00:13:59,816 We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 237 00:14:03,305 --> 00:14:05,932 I'm not even going to ask why you're pimping me out for cheese. 238 00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:11,021 But since when do you care at all about who I sleep with? 239 00:14:11,528 --> 00:14:13,484 Truthfully, I've never given it any thought, 240 00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:17,068 but it has been pointed out to me that you carry DNA of great potential. 241 00:14:17,380 --> 00:14:20,092 - What on earth are you talking about? - Let me explain. 242 00:14:20,212 --> 00:14:23,303 You see, I'm a superior genetic mutation, 243 00:14:23,423 --> 00:14:26,578 an improvement on the existing mediocre stock. 244 00:14:28,454 --> 00:14:31,041 And what do you mean, "mediocre stock"? 245 00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:32,292 That would be you. 246 00:14:33,887 --> 00:14:37,098 But residing within you, is the potential for another me. 247 00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:41,075 Perhaps even taller, smarter, and less prone to freckling, 248 00:14:41,417 --> 00:14:43,305 a Sheldon 2.0, if you will. 249 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:46,214 "Sheldon 2.0"? 250 00:14:46,424 --> 00:14:47,463 Exactly. 251 00:14:47,707 --> 00:14:51,439 Now, I am not saying that I should be the sole decider of who you mate with. 252 00:14:51,559 --> 00:14:53,312 If you're not attracted to the suitor, 253 00:14:53,474 --> 00:14:55,564 the likelihood of conception will be reduced. 254 00:14:55,726 --> 00:14:57,809 - You have got to be kidding me. - Not at all. 255 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:01,146 Frequent coitus dramatically increases the odds of fertilization. 256 00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:04,422 Okay, Shelly, sit down. 257 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,362 Now I've lived my whole life dealing with the fact that my twin brother is, 258 00:15:11,615 --> 00:15:12,939 as mom puts it, 259 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,584 "one of God's special, little people". 260 00:15:16,497 --> 00:15:18,902 I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird. 261 00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:22,989 You know, a superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds. 262 00:15:23,269 --> 00:15:25,598 Of course, the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food, 263 00:15:25,718 --> 00:15:28,048 leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. 264 00:15:29,122 --> 00:15:31,718 Luckily for you, that's where the metaphor ended. 265 00:15:33,424 --> 00:15:35,383 I thought it ended at "cuckoo". 266 00:15:38,165 --> 00:15:39,465 You listen to me. 267 00:15:39,628 --> 00:15:42,025 If you want to start acting like a brother who cares about me, 268 00:15:42,145 --> 00:15:44,314 then terrific. Bring it on. 269 00:15:44,802 --> 00:15:47,591 But you try one time to tell me who I should be sleeping with, 270 00:15:47,711 --> 00:15:49,566 and you and I are going to go round and round 271 00:15:49,686 --> 00:15:52,126 the way we did when we were little. Remember? 272 00:15:56,144 --> 00:15:58,461 - I have an alternate proposal. - Go on. 273 00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,360 You donate eggs. 274 00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:02,393 We will place them in cryogenic storage. 275 00:16:02,534 --> 00:16:05,425 I will find an appropriate sperm donor for your eggs, 276 00:16:05,545 --> 00:16:07,929 have them fertilized and implanted in you. 277 00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:10,036 That way, everybody wins. 278 00:16:18,874 --> 00:16:20,025 Correction. 279 00:16:20,186 --> 00:16:22,489 Missy can date whoever she wants. 280 00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:25,918 Look, we have to settle this. 281 00:16:26,038 --> 00:16:27,058 I agree. 282 00:16:27,178 --> 00:16:30,169 Sheldon's sister is hiding at Penny's because we've all been hitting on her 283 00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,319 - at the same time. - She's not hiding. 284 00:16:32,455 --> 00:16:35,493 She needed privacy to call her grandmother who's apparently very sick. 285 00:16:35,613 --> 00:16:37,894 And then I believe she has to wash her hair. 286 00:16:38,975 --> 00:16:41,104 You poor, deluded bastard. 287 00:16:41,581 --> 00:16:43,955 - Don't start with me. - You want to go again? Let's go. 288 00:16:44,075 --> 00:16:45,021 Sit down. 289 00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:49,557 If we're going to fight over Missy, let's do it the right way. 290 00:16:49,764 --> 00:16:51,145 The honorable way. 291 00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:53,909 Take that! 292 00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,054 You want some more? 293 00:16:59,662 --> 00:17:00,829 And he's down! 294 00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:03,637 One, two, three... 295 00:17:04,408 --> 00:17:05,779 Come on! Get up! 296 00:17:06,003 --> 00:17:07,254 Stay down, bitch! 297 00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,291 Nine, ten. 298 00:17:13,311 --> 00:17:14,905 Natural selection at work. 299 00:17:15,213 --> 00:17:16,931 I weep for humanity. 300 00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:20,559 Excuse me while I go tell Missy the good news. 301 00:17:27,371 --> 00:17:29,225 - Leonard. - Hi, Penny. How's it going? 302 00:17:29,345 --> 00:17:31,804 That guy Mike that you were dating, is that still going on? 303 00:17:32,004 --> 00:17:33,217 Pretty much. Why? 304 00:17:33,337 --> 00:17:36,178 Nothing, just catching up. By the way, may I speak to Missy, please? 305 00:17:37,526 --> 00:17:38,871 Of course. 306 00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:43,040 - Hi, Leonard. What's up? - Since you're leaving tomorrow, 307 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,485 I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me. 308 00:17:46,221 --> 00:17:48,280 That's so sweet. But no thanks. 309 00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,649 - Do you have other plans or... - No. 310 00:17:57,778 --> 00:17:58,885 All right. 311 00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:03,858 - Enjoy the rest of your evening. - Thanks. See ya. 312 00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,740 Here's something we didn't anticipate. 313 00:18:19,661 --> 00:18:21,020 What do you want, Howard? 314 00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:23,758 I'm fine. Thanks for asking. 315 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,818 I've come to call on Missy. 316 00:18:31,207 --> 00:18:33,638 - Hi, Howard. - The Amazing Howard. 317 00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:37,995 - Do you like magic? - Not really. No. 318 00:18:39,357 --> 00:18:41,291 Then you are in for a treat. 319 00:18:43,451 --> 00:18:45,608 Behold, an ordinary cane. 320 00:19:18,655 --> 00:19:20,993 Thank you. I apprec... 321 00:19:22,872 --> 00:19:24,073 Apprec... 322 00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:26,675 Appree... 323 00:19:28,874 --> 00:19:31,549 Oh, honey. Is your medication wearing off? 324 00:19:35,265 --> 00:19:36,664 Well, hi, cutie pie. 325 00:19:36,946 --> 00:19:38,664 I was hoping you'd show up. 326 00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:09,175 We had a dog who made a noise like that. 327 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,400 Had to put him down. 328 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,482 Any news you want me to pass on to Mom? 329 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:20,452 Well, she might be interested to know that I have refocused my research 330 00:20:20,572 --> 00:20:23,560 from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory. 331 00:20:24,671 --> 00:20:26,503 I'll just tell her you say "hey". 332 00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:31,352 Well, it was pleasant seeing you, 333 00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:33,918 other than that business with my testicles. 334 00:20:35,952 --> 00:20:37,240 Come on, Shelly. 335 00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:45,289 I want you to know I'm very proud of you. 336 00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:46,539 Really? 337 00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:50,412 Yep, I'm always bragging to my friends about my brother, the rocket scientist. 338 00:20:51,779 --> 00:20:54,381 You tell people I'm a rocket scientist? 339 00:20:55,582 --> 00:20:56,508 Well, yeah. 340 00:20:56,669 --> 00:20:58,636 I'm a theoretical physicist. 341 00:20:58,969 --> 00:21:01,941 - What's the difference? - What's the difference? 342 00:21:03,177 --> 00:21:04,379 Good bye, Shelly. 343 00:21:04,642 --> 00:21:06,391 My God! 344 00:21:07,289 --> 00:21:11,182 Why don't you just tell them that I'm a toll-taker at the Golden Gate Bridge? 345 00:21:13,892 --> 00:21:16,323 Rocket scientist. How humiliating.