1 00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:02,560 Fellow warriors, 2 00:00:02,630 --> 00:00:04,130 This is Sheldor the Conqueror. 3 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,300 We are about to enter Axidus' fortress. 4 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:10,830 Now, this is a long run, so let's do another bladder check. 5 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,800 All right, Barry, we'll wait for you again, 6 00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:16,800 But you really should see a doctor. 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,560 Sheldor is AFK. 8 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,430 Penny, are you experiencing some sort of difficulty? 9 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,630 Yes. I can't get my stupid door open. 10 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,230 You appear to have put your car key 11 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,100 In the door lock... are you aware of that? 12 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,160 Yeah. 13 00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:41,660 All right, then. 14 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:43,830 Damn it, 15 00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,660 Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! 16 00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:49,030 Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly? 17 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,130 I can't get the damn key out. 18 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,630 Well, it's not surprising... that baldwin lock on your door 19 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,260 Uses traditional edge-mounted cylinders, 20 00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:57,960 Whereas the key for your Volkswagen 21 00:00:58,030 --> 00:01:00,800 Uses a center cylinder system. 22 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,860 Thank you, Sheldon. 23 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,700 You're welcome. 24 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,800 Why did you put 25 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,600 Your car key in the door lock? 26 00:01:10,660 --> 00:01:12,630 Why? I'll tell you why... because today I had an audition, 27 00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,100 It took me two hours to get there, 28 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,400 I waited an hour for my turn, 29 00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:16,560 And before I could even start, 30 00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:18,160 They told me I looked too midwest 31 00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:19,660 For the part. 32 00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:21,660 Too midwest... what the hell does that even mean? 33 00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:23,630 Well, the american midwest was mostly settled 34 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:25,830 By Scandinavian and Germanic people. 35 00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:28,560 They have a characteristic facial bone structure... 36 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,800 I know what it means, Sheldon! 37 00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:33,700 God! you know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, 38 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,960 And I haven't gotten a single acting job. 39 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,660 I've accomplished nothing, haven't gotten 40 00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:40,130 A raise at work, haven't even had sex in six months, 41 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,500 And just now, when I was walking up those stairs, 42 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,130 A fly flew in my mouth and I ate it! 43 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,360 Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures. 44 00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:50,930 They're almost pure protein. 45 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,760 Oh, son of a bitch! 46 00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:57,100 I believe the condensation on your frozen foods 47 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,760 weakened the structural integrity of the bag. 48 00:02:04,130 --> 00:02:05,560 But returning to your key conundrum, 49 00:02:05,630 --> 00:02:07,100 perhaps you should call a locksmith 50 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,600 - and have him open the door for you. - I did. 51 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,860 He said he'll get here when he gets here. 52 00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:13,900 And you're frustrated because he phrased his reply 53 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,660 - in the form of a meaningless tautology? - No! 54 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,930 I am frustrated because I am a failure at everything 55 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,260 and my breath smells like fly. 56 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,400 There, there. 57 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,560 Would you prefer to wait in our apartment? 58 00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:40,730 No, Sheldon, I'd rather sit on this freezing-cold floor 59 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,200 Sobbing like a three-year-old. 60 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,100 All right, then. 61 00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:47,260 For heaven's sake. 62 00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:53,800 Just when I think I've gotten the hang of sarcasm. 63 00:03:19,630 --> 00:03:21,400 Make yourself comfortable. 64 00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:23,460 Not there. 65 00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:55,060 Sheldor is back online. 66 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,930 Sheldor? 67 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,260 The Conqueror. 68 00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,560 What are you doing? 69 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,230 AFK. 70 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,360 I'm playing 71 00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:09,230 Age of Conan, an online multiplayer game 72 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,400 Set in the universe of Robert E. Howard's 73 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,030 Conan the Barbarian. 74 00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:18,700 Sheldor back online. 75 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,030 What's "AFK"? 76 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,760 AFK. 77 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,500 Away from keyboard. 78 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,560 Oh, I see. 79 00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:32,260 What does that stand for? 80 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:38,560 Oh, I see. 81 00:04:38,630 --> 00:04:42,260 Yes, but what does it stand for? 82 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,460 Now, just click on the enchanted boots to put them on. 83 00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:02,030 Mm, I don't know... can I see them in another color? 84 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,100 Just click on them. 85 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,260 Yeah, congratulations. 86 00:05:06,330 --> 00:05:07,760 You are now a level-three warrior. 87 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:10,100 - What's going on? - Leonard, guess what? 88 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,130 I'm a level-three warrior. 89 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,960 Great. 90 00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:16,030 Do you know there are groceries outside of your apartment? 91 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,100 Yeah, yeah, yeah. shh. 92 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,560 I only bring it up because your ice cream's melting 93 00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:22,760 and it's starting to attract wildlife. 94 00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:24,100 Uh-huh, yeah. 95 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,930 Do I stay in the jungle or go towards the beach? 96 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,200 It doesn't matter... right now, you're looking for treasure. 97 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,460 Wait, wait, where are you going? 98 00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:34,200 No, no. You're okay. 99 00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:36,260 If you run into crocodiles, just kick them with your boots. 100 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,960 You want to catch me up? 101 00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,500 Well, let's see, uh, 102 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,330 she attempted to open her apartment with her car key 103 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,660 Because her face is overly midwestern, um... 104 00:05:49,730 --> 00:05:52,460 she hasn't had sex in six months... 105 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:55,230 and she ate a fly. 106 00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:00,560 Seriously? six months? 107 00:06:00,630 --> 00:06:01,900 Oh, my god! 108 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,500 A treasure chest! I'm rich! 109 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,360 Level three, and she thinks she's rich. 110 00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:12,560 What a newb. 111 00:06:13,930 --> 00:06:15,860 Okay... 112 00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:17,300 We're all set. 113 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,430 Let her rip. 114 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,930 Hi. 115 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,560 Check it out... it's just corn starch and water. 116 00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,460 They make up 117 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,600 A non-newtonian fluid, which is liquid, 118 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:46,030 But solid under the percussive action of the speaker. 119 00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:49,100 That's what makes it get all funky. 120 00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:52,530 Yeah, okay. 121 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,130 Uh, listen, I need to talk to Sheldon. 122 00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:02,100 No, that's what she said... Sheldon. 123 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,130 Okay, I'm in the game, 124 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,200 And I've been exploring the island of Tortage, 125 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,260 But I can't figure out how to get past the guard captain. 126 00:07:08,330 --> 00:07:09,600 Do you have the enchanted sword? 127 00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:11,160 No, no, I have a bronze dagger. 128 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,430 You can't slay the guard captain with a bronze dagger. 129 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,000 My lord, it's like the car key 130 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,560 In your apartment door all over again. 131 00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:17,960 All right, how do I get the sword? 132 00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:19,530 Well, have you been to the Temple of Mishra? 133 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,030 Is that the place on the hill with 134 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,960 - The weird priest in front of it? - No, no, no, it's... 135 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:24,300 Oh, for god's sakes, gimme. 136 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,630 Thank you, I really appreciate this. 137 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:27,000 You're gonna have to learn 138 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,230 To do these things for yourself, penny. 139 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,800 Don't patronize me, just get the sword! 140 00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:34,830 What the frack? 141 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,660 Beats me. 142 00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:38,830 They were playing all last night, too. 143 00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:42,000 It's like some kind of weird comic book crossover. 144 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:45,360 Like if Hulk were dating Peppermint Patty. 145 00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:48,000 I always thought Peppermint Patty was a lesbian. 146 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:50,000 No, that's Marcie. 147 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:53,260 Peppermint Patty's just athletic. 148 00:07:53,330 --> 00:07:54,930 There you go... one enchanted sword. 149 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,260 All right, gimme, gimme, gimme. 150 00:07:56,330 --> 00:07:59,160 I want to kill the guard captain. 151 00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:05,260 That girl needs to get a life. 152 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,800 Sheldon? 153 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:26,530 Sheldon... 154 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,160 Danger! Danger! 155 00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:30,760 No danger... it's just me, Penny. 156 00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:31,530 Listen, I got to level 25 157 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,360 And reached Purple Lotus Swamp, right? 158 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,630 You're in my bedroom. 159 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,060 Leonard gave me an emergency key. 160 00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:39,400 People can't be in my bedroom. 161 00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:41,500 Well, can we go talk in the living room? 162 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,730 I'm not wearing pajama bottoms. 163 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,660 Why not? 164 00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:47,500 I spilled grape juice. 165 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,430 Well, wear different pajamas. 166 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,500 I can't wear different pajamas... these are my monday pajamas. 167 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,330 Penny, people cannot be in my bedroom. 168 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,160 Okay, fine, just tell me, is it too soon 169 00:08:57,230 --> 00:09:00,160 To join a quest to the Black Castle? 170 00:09:00,230 --> 00:09:01,630 - You were invited on a quest to the Black Castle? - Yeah, yeah. 171 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,560 By some guys in budapest. 172 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,530 I'm just not sure it's the right move for my character. 173 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:07,500 Of course it's not... you're only 174 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,800 a level 25. 175 00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:10,160 These hungarians, 176 00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:13,600 They're just using you for dragon fodder. 177 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:15,260 Really? Boy, you'd think you could trust 178 00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:18,560 a horde of hungarian barbarians. 179 00:09:18,630 --> 00:09:20,360 Please, Penny, enough. 180 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,860 I have to sleep. 181 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,730 Okay, well, you were great, thanks. 182 00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:30,200 183 00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:31,330 Oh. Hey, Leonard. listen, don't go in Sheldon's room... 184 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:34,730 He's not wearing bottoms. 185 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:43,260 Sheldon, you want to catch me up again? 186 00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:48,000 People, I am very busy today. 187 00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:50,500 I realize that, Dr. Gablehauser, 188 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,460 But it is your job, as head of the department, 189 00:09:52,530 --> 00:09:53,860 To mediate all interdepartmental disputes. 190 00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:55,200 University policy manual, 191 00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:57,530 chapter four, subsection two: 192 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,030 "Mediation of Interdepartmental Disputes." 193 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,060 Fine. 194 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,230 Dr. Winkle, what colorful name 195 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,650 did you call Dr. Cooper this time? 196 00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:09,400 Dr. dumb-ass. 197 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,430 Dr. Cooper, Dr. Winkle apologizes. 198 00:10:12,430 --> 00:10:13,400 - No, I don't. - No, she doesn't. 199 00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:16,660 Here's the problem. 200 00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:18,530 I was clearly signed up 201 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,930 to use the mainframe in buckman 204, 202 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,630 and Dr. Winkle just want only 203 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,100 ripped the sign-up sheet off the wall. 204 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,200 It wasn't even an official sign-up sheet. 205 00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:26,900 He printed it himself, and he put his name down 206 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,430 on every slot for the next six months. 207 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,660 If it is a crime 208 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,760 to ensure that the university's resources 209 00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:35,460 are not being squandered chasing subatomic wild geese, 210 00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:38,630 then I plead guilty. 211 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,400 - Oh, Penny! - Do you need 212 00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:43,560 to get that, Dr. Cooper? 213 00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:45,800 - God, no. - Well, don't turn it off, 214 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,260 you might miss your call from the nobel committee 215 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:49,560 Letting you know you've been nominated 216 00:10:49,630 --> 00:10:51,860 As dumb-ass laureate of the year. 217 00:10:51,930 --> 00:10:54,160 Oh, yeah? well... 218 00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:56,900 You wouldn't even be nominated. 219 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,900 Dr. Gablehauser, I have a series 220 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,830 of important calculations and simulations to run. 221 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:06,430 All she's doing is reducing irrelevant data 222 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,700 and making a mock... 223 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,030 Excuse me. 224 00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:10,580 Gablehauser. 225 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:13,540 It's for you. 226 00:11:16,570 --> 00:11:17,960 Hello? 227 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,490 Penny, this is not a good time. 228 00:11:21,650 --> 00:11:22,560 No, I told you, 229 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,720 You're not prepared for the Sanctum of Burning Souls. 230 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,960 You need to be in a group of at least five for that quest 231 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,620 and one should be a level 35 healer. 232 00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:33,070 Penny, I can't log on and help you. 233 00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:35,810 We'll talk when I get home. 234 00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:44,300 I'm not getting the computing time, am I? 235 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,260 Dumb-ass. 236 00:11:50,490 --> 00:11:53,390 Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. 237 00:11:53,390 --> 00:11:54,850 She is interfering with my sleep, 238 00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:56,260 she's interfering with my work... 239 00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:59,030 and if I had another significant aspect of my life, 240 00:11:59,030 --> 00:12:00,690 I'm sure she'd be interfering with that, too. 241 00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:04,510 Why should I do something? 242 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,040 - You're the one who introduced her to online gaming. - Yes, 243 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,600 but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. 244 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,540 If you'd simply restrained yourself, 245 00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:13,760 none of this would be happening. 246 00:12:15,170 --> 00:12:16,690 Why don't you just tell her to leave you alone? 247 00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:18,420 I did, I told her, 248 00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:21,050 I texted her, I sent out a very emphatic twitter. 249 00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,070 I even changed my facebook status to 250 00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:25,330 "Sheldon cooper wishes Penny would leave him alone." 251 00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:26,430 I don't know what else to do. 252 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,730 Well, what am I supposed to do? 253 00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:31,690 I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, 254 00:12:31,690 --> 00:12:34,840 I warn you, I shall become very difficult to live with. 255 00:12:36,650 --> 00:12:39,260 You mean up until now we've been experiencing 256 00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:40,790 the happy, fun-time Sheldon? 257 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,710 - Yes. - I'll go talk to her. 258 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,540 No, fritz, I need you on my flank. 259 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,160 No, I don't know german. 260 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,530 Flankenzei, flankenzei. 261 00:12:55,030 --> 00:12:56,580 - Hey, Penny. - Busy. 262 00:12:57,670 --> 00:12:58,710 Yeah, I see that. 263 00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:00,130 Shouldn't you be at work? 264 00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,200 I don't work on mondays. 265 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,140 It's thursday. 266 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,150 Listen, Penny... 267 00:13:07,150 --> 00:13:08,260 Queen penelope, AFK. 268 00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:09,550 What...? 269 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:15,780 Here's the thing. 270 00:13:15,780 --> 00:13:18,980 Sometimes people, good people, 271 00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:20,420 yeah, they start playing these games 272 00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:21,100 and they find themselves... 273 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,910 through no fault of their own... 274 00:13:22,910 --> 00:13:25,020 you know, kind of... addicted. 275 00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:27,650 Yeah, get to the point. I'm about to level up here. 276 00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:29,550 It's just if a person doesn't have 277 00:13:29,550 --> 00:13:31,350 a sense of achievement in their real life, 278 00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:33,240 it's easy to lose themselves in a virtual world 279 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,380 Where they can get a false sense of accomplishment. 280 00:13:35,380 --> 00:13:36,820 Yeah, jabber, jabber, jabber. Okay, boys, 281 00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:38,110 Queen penelope's back online. 282 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,320 Penny, you've got... 283 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,620 cheetos in your hair. 284 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:47,030 Oh. thanks. 285 00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:01,980 Hey, Penny, it's me again, Leonard. 286 00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,810 Leonard, I said not now. 287 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,990 I know, I'm just a little concerned about you. 288 00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:08,270 I said not now! 289 00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:09,770 Okay, maybe later. 290 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,330 Hey, guys. 291 00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:15,650 Hey, what's with him? 292 00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,650 Penny's been keeping him up at night. 293 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:20,950 Me, too. 294 00:14:24,770 --> 00:14:27,230 But probably in a different way. 295 00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:29,840 She's gotten really hooked on Age of Conan. 296 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,070 She's playing nonstop. 297 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,100 Ah, yes, online gaming addiction. 298 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:34,310 There's nothing worse than having 299 00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:37,030 that multi-player monkey on your back. 300 00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,680 Sheldon, wake up! 301 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,140 Danger! Danger! 302 00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,290 Afternoon, men. 303 00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:45,800 Sheldon. 304 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:48,160 Oh, yeah? 305 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,700 Well, your attempt at juvenilizing me 306 00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:52,040 by excluding me from the set of adult males, just... 307 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,590 Ooh, I'm too tired to do this. 308 00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,550 Right, I heard you've been pulling all-nighters 309 00:14:57,550 --> 00:14:58,550 With Middle-Earth barbie. 310 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,550 She comes into my room. 311 00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,320 No one's supposed to be in my room. 312 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,430 I would postulate that she's escaping into the online world 313 00:15:07,430 --> 00:15:09,410 to compensate for her sexual frustration. 314 00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:10,490 I do that, too. 315 00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:15,280 But probably in a different way. 316 00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:18,940 That's not what she's doing, Leslie. 317 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:21,110 She's just trying to shore up her self-esteem. 318 00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:22,340 It has nothing to do with sex. 319 00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:23,830 Everything has to do with sex. 320 00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:26,120 Mm, testify. 321 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,290 I'm not touching that. 322 00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:34,230 Leslie, you are way off base here. 323 00:15:34,230 --> 00:15:35,190 Hang on, Leonard. 324 00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:37,660 While I have no respect for Leslie as a scientist 325 00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,340 or a human being,for that matter, 326 00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:41,899 we have to 327 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:45,430 concede her undeniable expertise in the interrelated fields 328 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,360 of promiscuity and general sluttiness. 329 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,300 Thank you. 330 00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:53,000 My point is that Tinkerbell just needs to get her some. 331 00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:54,200 Some what? 332 00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:56,060 Oh, yes, some sexual intercourse. 333 00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:00,800 I'll take the bullet. 334 00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:04,860 Excuse me, this whole idea is insane. 335 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:06,930 Enough debate, I'm going to take action. 336 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,400 Excuse me. 337 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:13,530 Are you currently involved in a sexual relationship? 338 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,900 No. 339 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:17,700 Would you like to be? 340 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:21,700 Uh... sure, why not? 341 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:22,760 - Sheldon... - Puh-puh-puh. 342 00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:25,730 - Sheldon... - Puh-puh-puh. 343 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:31,030 Can I have your phone number? 344 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:32,500 Uh... yeah. 345 00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:44,260 There. Problem solved. 346 00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:50,600 Dumb-ass. 347 00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,100 Okay, I'm at the gate to the treasury of the ancients. 348 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,230 I'm going in. 349 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:01,900 Stay close to the wall. 350 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,600 - Avoid the mummies. - Got it. 351 00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:07,530 I must say you're playing very well for a woman of 23. 352 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,630 Twenty-two. 353 00:17:08,730 --> 00:17:10,230 Right, 22. 355 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,930 Oh, here come the mummies. 356 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,300 Which spell do I use, the hateful strike 357 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,630 Or the frenzy stance? 358 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,460 What happened to the rest of your group? 359 00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:22,430 I dumped them, they're a bunch of wussies. 360 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,060 Frenzy stance. 361 00:17:25,123 --> 00:17:26,123 Frenzy, frenzy, frenzy, frenzy, frenzy. 362 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,900 So, listen, would you describe your ideal vacation 363 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,100 As a wild adventure to unknown lands 364 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,530 Or staying at home curled up with a good book? 365 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,200 What? 366 00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:40,960 These are market research questions. 367 00:17:41,030 --> 00:17:42,800 I'm filling out the online registration for your game. 368 00:17:42,860 --> 00:17:44,900 Oh, okay, wild adventure. 369 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,860 Oh, frenzy stance isn't working. 370 00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:48,130 Die, you undead mummy, die! 371 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,300 Drink a healing potion. 372 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,130 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 373 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,630 Anyhow, on a scale of one to five, 374 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,230 with one being always initiated by him 375 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:02,730 and five being always initiated by you, 376 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,700 how do you prefer your sexual encounters to begin? 377 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,500 That's on the registration? 378 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,260 Oh, yes, it's quite extensive. 379 00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:09,600 but if we complete it, 380 00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:11,460 you get a free expansion pack. 381 00:18:11,530 --> 00:18:13,260 75 additional quests. 382 00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:14,930 Ooh, awesome, okay, I totally like to initiate. 383 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,460 I'm a big ol' five. 384 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,900 Good to know. 385 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,159 Big ol' five. 386 00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:30,830 Hello. 387 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,110 Hi. 388 00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:34,200 Leonard, this is Tom. 389 00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:39,900 Hi, Tom. Sheldon... 390 00:18:43,460 --> 00:18:46,130 Didn't I explain to you 391 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,200 about your little mistake in the cafeteria? 392 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,260 Yes, 393 00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:50,060 You were very clear, 394 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,460 as was everyone else at the table. 395 00:18:53,530 --> 00:18:55,860 Tom, however, has been chosen by science 396 00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:57,400 as a suitable mate for Penny. 397 00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,000 Chosen by science? 398 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,030 Well, what passes for science on dating sites. 399 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,630 They claim to use heuristic algorithms, 400 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:08,260 but it may well be hokum. 401 00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,660 You got Penny to sign up for online dating? 402 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,830 No, of course not. 403 00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:15,760 See, I used trickery and deceit. 404 00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:18,100 This is bad. 405 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,630 Tom is a paramedic with the fire department, 406 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,400 but he's going to med school at night. 407 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:24,600 he likes the outdoors 408 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:28,060 and, uh, strong women who initiate sex. 409 00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:30,630 Really, really bad. 410 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,100 I'm surprised you struck out with Penny, 411 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,360 apparently, she's a big ol' five. 412 00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:37,400 Sheldon, what do you want? 413 00:19:37,460 --> 00:19:38,430 Oh, good, 414 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:39,900 You got my note. 415 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,230 Penny, I'd like you to meet Tom. 416 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,700 Penny, this is Tom. 417 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:43,860 Tom, may I present Penny. 418 00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:44,800 Hi, Penny. 419 00:19:44,860 --> 00:19:46,200 Yeah, hey. Listen... 420 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:47,430 As long as I'm here, 421 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:48,330 I'm on a quest with a bunch of newbs. 422 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,430 They don't know what they're doing. 423 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:50,530 We've got one assassin, 424 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,730 Three spell casters and no tank. 425 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:52,960 Can we talk about this later? 426 00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:55,300 No, no, no, no. I need you now. 427 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,360 Wouldn't you prefer to socialize with Tom, 428 00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:59,230 who is a sexually passive outdoorsman? 429 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,660 Whatever. I'll figure it out myself. 430 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:07,300 Bye, Penny. 431 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:11,700 I'm sorry, dude, she didn't look anything like her picture. 432 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,060 They never do. 433 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:21,020 hello, fair Penny. 434 00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:22,300 Who are you? 435 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:24,200 It is I, sir Howard of Wolowitz. 436 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:29,320 Can I interest you in an afternoon of spirited questing 437 00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:31,840 Followed by a flagon of ale at yon virtual tavern? 438 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,550 Yeah, sure, why not? 439 00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:38,990 Oh my God, I need help.