1
00:00:03,884 --> 00:00:05,671
I don't see anything at all.
2
00:00:07,323 --> 00:00:10,550
You're the doctor, but I am constantly
hearing this annoying sound.
3
00:00:11,954 --> 00:00:12,954
Me, too.
4
00:00:14,573 --> 00:00:16,056
Is it a high-frequency whistle?
5
00:00:16,269 --> 00:00:19,535
No, it's more of a relentless,
narcissistic drone.
6
00:00:21,651 --> 00:00:23,550
{\pos(270,270)}There's no inflammation
at all.
7
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,623
Then it must be a tumor.
8
00:00:27,844 --> 00:00:29,285
{\pos(230,270)}Seriously doubt it.
9
00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:31,509
Maybe it's a lingering
bacterial infection
10
00:00:31,634 --> 00:00:33,740
from all those childhood
toilet swirlies.
11
00:00:35,477 --> 00:00:38,527
{\pos(270,270)}Is that possible?
I used to get those all the time.
12
00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:40,230
Even in church.
13
00:00:41,859 --> 00:00:44,881
{\pos(270,270)}If it is from a swirly,
there something I can do.
14
00:00:46,429 --> 00:00:48,340
{\pos(270,270)}Circle, circle, dot, dot,
15
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,648
now you have a cootie shot!
16
00:00:52,997 --> 00:00:55,545
- I'm going to bed.
- Okay, I'll be right in.
17
00:00:57,008 --> 00:00:58,648
It's not enough that she mocks me,
18
00:00:58,773 --> 00:01:01,601
but that isn't even
the correct procedure for a cootie shot.
19
00:01:02,319 --> 00:01:04,362
Do you understand
that Stephanie's not here
20
00:01:04,487 --> 00:01:06,439
to treat your imaginary ailments?
21
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:10,135
How is it imaginary that I keep hearing
an octave above Middle C?
22
00:01:12,282 --> 00:01:13,628
Is that imaginary?
23
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:16,499
I don't think so.
24
00:01:20,898 --> 00:01:22,871
- Good night.
- One more thing.
25
00:01:23,142 --> 00:01:25,417
Under Article One, Section Three
of our Roommate Agreement,
26
00:01:25,587 --> 00:01:27,753
- I'm calling an emergency meeting.
- You're not.
27
00:01:27,878 --> 00:01:30,136
Leonard moves the meeting not occur.
Is there a second?
28
00:01:30,261 --> 00:01:31,798
None heard, the motion fails.
29
00:01:33,141 --> 00:01:35,630
I'd like to begin the meeting
by congratulating you
30
00:01:35,755 --> 00:01:38,471
on the progress in your relationship
with Dr. Stephanie.
31
00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:41,071
- Thank you.
- That being said,
32
00:01:41,196 --> 00:01:44,535
we have to discuss the implementation
of the agreed upon "cohabitation" rider
33
00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:47,314
which has been activated
now the two of you are living together.
34
00:01:47,661 --> 00:01:50,442
- We're not living together.
- I beg to disagree.
35
00:01:51,338 --> 00:01:54,792
"A girlfriend shall be deemed
quote living with un-quote Leonard
36
00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:57,232
when she has stayed over
for A: ten consecutive nights,
37
00:01:57,357 --> 00:01:59,679
or B: more than nine nights
in a three week period,
38
00:01:59,804 --> 00:02:03,122
or C: all the weekends of a given month
plus three weeknights.
39
00:02:06,929 --> 00:02:08,079
That's absurd.
40
00:02:08,994 --> 00:02:11,678
You initialed it.
See? L.H., L.H., L.H.
41
00:02:12,342 --> 00:02:16,051
Wait, I only initialed it
because I never thought it would happen!
42
00:02:17,347 --> 00:02:21,242
I initialed another clause naming you
my sidekick in case I get superpowers.
43
00:02:23,828 --> 00:02:25,018
Yes, you did.
44
00:02:26,408 --> 00:02:29,159
Now, to review, the following provisions
are hereby activated:
45
00:02:29,284 --> 00:02:31,276
In the refrigerator,
as opposed to us having
46
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,366
two separate shelves
and one communal shelf,
47
00:02:33,491 --> 00:02:35,302
the three of us now get
individual shelves
48
00:02:35,427 --> 00:02:36,906
and the door becomes communal.
49
00:02:37,201 --> 00:02:40,972
Next, apartment vacuuming shall be
increased from two to three times a week
50
00:02:41,097 --> 00:02:43,828
to accommodate the increased
accumulation of dead skin cells.
51
00:02:44,025 --> 00:02:46,372
Third, the bathroom schedule.
I'm given to understand
52
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:50,054
women have different needs,
so, we'll have to discuss that.
53
00:02:52,933 --> 00:02:54,172
I'm going to bed.
54
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,110
At least take this with you.
55
00:02:57,235 --> 00:03:00,685
And have Stephanie initial
here, here, here, here...
56
00:03:01,805 --> 00:03:03,830
and... here.
57
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,226
This states that she does not now
58
00:03:06,396 --> 00:03:09,562
nor does she intend to play
a percussive or brass instrument.
59
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:28,793
Sure sounds like a tumor
pressing on the auditory nerve.
60
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,477
Subtitles: sub-way.fr
61
00:03:53,008 --> 00:03:55,386
No, absolutely not.
62
00:03:55,511 --> 00:03:58,119
It's not a big deal.
We have latex gloves.
63
00:03:59,399 --> 00:04:01,082
I don't care what the symptoms are,
64
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:04,242
my girlfriend is not going
to give you a prostate exam.
65
00:04:06,443 --> 00:04:07,444
{\pos(192,220)}Hi, Sheldon.
66
00:04:07,569 --> 00:04:09,411
{\pos(192,220)}Good morning, Dr. Stephanie.
67
00:04:09,536 --> 00:04:12,486
{\pos(192,220)}I trust Leonard satisfied
you sexually last night.
68
00:04:15,229 --> 00:04:17,172
We don't ask questions like that.
69
00:04:17,342 --> 00:04:19,299
I heard you ask it over and over.
70
00:04:20,996 --> 00:04:23,469
How is it inappropriate for me
to ask it once?
71
00:04:24,106 --> 00:04:27,015
{\pos(240,270)}- He did very nicely.
- See? She's not offended.
72
00:04:27,237 --> 00:04:29,394
And now you finally have an answer.
73
00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:32,562
Out of coffee. Need coffee.
74
00:04:34,876 --> 00:04:37,025
Hi! Stephanie, right?
75
00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:39,397
{\pos(240,270)}And-And you are?
76
00:04:39,928 --> 00:04:41,654
Penny, I live across the hall.
77
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,949
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Really?
78
00:04:45,675 --> 00:04:47,750
{\pos(240,270)}I haven't heard
a thing about you.
79
00:04:57,799 --> 00:05:01,022
Why haven't I heard a thing about
this woman who lives across the hall
80
00:05:01,147 --> 00:05:03,497
and comes into your apartment
in the morning...
81
00:05:03,622 --> 00:05:05,013
in her underwear?
82
00:05:12,009 --> 00:05:14,113
{\pos(192,205)}She's heard about you because we're,
83
00:05:14,492 --> 00:05:18,066
{\pos(192,205)}you know, involved and you haven't
heard about her because...
84
00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:21,945
{\pos(260,270)}I never slept with her,
I swear!
85
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,223
In Leonard's defense,
it wasn't for lack of trying.
86
00:05:28,223 --> 00:05:30,411
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
87
00:05:31,778 --> 00:05:33,360
Look, I'm just saying...
88
00:05:34,247 --> 00:05:37,060
{\pos(250,225)}Penny is one
of our many neighbors,
89
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:40,441
{\pos(250,225)}and in our building,
neighbors come and go,
90
00:05:40,566 --> 00:05:42,591
{\pos(250,225)}it's very casual,
no dress code.
91
00:05:43,712 --> 00:05:46,437
{\pos(250,205)}In fact, some mornings
I'll just mosey down to the third floor
92
00:05:46,562 --> 00:05:49,222
{\pos(250,205)}in my pajamas and have cereal
with Mrs. Vartabedian.
93
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,207
Really?
94
00:05:50,332 --> 00:05:53,810
{\pos(240,225)}I have never once been invited
to have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
95
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:55,436
She doesn't like you.
96
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,207
You have a gall bladder to remove
97
00:05:59,332 --> 00:06:02,485
and I have to get in the shower
and Penny has clothes to put on, so...
98
00:06:04,002 --> 00:06:07,198
- It was very nice meeting you.
- Nice to finally meet you, too.
99
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:09,847
- And I'll see you tonight?
- Okay, bye-bye.
100
00:06:19,592 --> 00:06:22,765
What could I possibly have done
to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?
101
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,788
So, that's Stephanie, huh?
102
00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:32,211
Why do I feel like I'm the one
that just got the prostate exam?
103
00:06:37,811 --> 00:06:39,450
You know, she seems very nice.
104
00:06:39,575 --> 00:06:41,323
Oh, she is. She's terrific.
105
00:06:41,448 --> 00:06:44,009
And she's proving
to be a valuable roommate.
106
00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:46,150
Roommate?
You guys are living together?
107
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,474
Like hippies.
108
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,907
We're not living together.
109
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,598
Do I have to pull out
the paperwork again?
110
00:06:52,886 --> 00:06:55,329
- We're not living together.
- Are you sure?
111
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:57,248
How could I not be sure?
112
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:59,227
Well, let's find out.
113
00:06:59,933 --> 00:07:02,154
Don't you think if a woman
was living with me
114
00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,204
I'd be the first one
to know about it?
115
00:07:04,329 --> 00:07:06,924
Sweetie, you'd be the last one
to know about it.
116
00:07:11,742 --> 00:07:13,077
Cute dresses.
117
00:07:14,439 --> 00:07:16,247
I bet this looks great on you!
118
00:07:18,235 --> 00:07:19,874
We're not living together.
119
00:07:21,579 --> 00:07:23,552
Scented candles, fuzzy slippers,
120
00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:25,689
Floral bed sheets?
121
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:29,803
- We're not living together.
- Okay, moving on.
122
00:07:29,928 --> 00:07:32,228
Now, who are these guys
at Disney World?
123
00:07:34,095 --> 00:07:35,636
The big dog is Goofy,
124
00:07:37,062 --> 00:07:40,730
and the older couple
with the mouse ears, I have no idea.
125
00:07:42,832 --> 00:07:44,337
We're not living together!
126
00:07:45,527 --> 00:07:47,849
You're going
to go down swinging, huh?
127
00:07:48,157 --> 00:07:50,392
All right, well,
we got your body lotion,
128
00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:52,832
your InStyle Magazine,
your jewelry box.
129
00:07:52,957 --> 00:07:53,957
We're not...
130
00:07:54,527 --> 00:07:55,986
Where's my Bat Signal?
131
00:07:57,457 --> 00:07:58,937
You have a Bat Signal?
132
00:07:59,208 --> 00:08:00,226
I did.
133
00:08:01,364 --> 00:08:02,720
It was right here.
134
00:08:04,094 --> 00:08:05,281
She must've...
135
00:08:06,541 --> 00:08:08,720
Oh, my God, we're living together.
136
00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:12,573
Really? What was your first clue?
137
00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:28,549
New pants?
138
00:08:29,256 --> 00:08:31,523
Yeah, Stephanie got them for me.
139
00:08:32,819 --> 00:08:33,970
Nice. Cotton?
140
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:37,086
Actually, I think it's more
of a wool, fire ant blend.
141
00:08:38,882 --> 00:08:41,727
So, the girlfriend's buying
clothes for you. Sounds serious.
142
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,198
It is actually.
143
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:45,699
In fact, I gave it a lot of thought
144
00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:48,693
and I decided it was time
for us to live together.
145
00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:52,864
Leonard, huge mistake.
146
00:08:53,087 --> 00:08:55,537
There's a whole buffet
of women out there
147
00:08:55,662 --> 00:08:57,582
and you're just
standing in the corner
148
00:08:57,707 --> 00:09:00,329
eating the same deviled egg
over and over again.
149
00:09:01,926 --> 00:09:04,268
At least I have an egg.
What do you have?
150
00:09:04,964 --> 00:09:08,540
A veritable smorgasbord
of potential sexual partners.
151
00:09:09,426 --> 00:09:11,111
See the blonde over there?
152
00:09:12,762 --> 00:09:14,808
I can hit on her and you can't.
153
00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:18,102
So, go hit on her.
154
00:09:23,051 --> 00:09:24,466
She's not my type.
155
00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:27,870
Too bad, 'cause she was
checking you out before.
156
00:09:27,995 --> 00:09:30,276
- She was?
- Of course not. Look at her.
157
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,489
I don't care what you guys think.
158
00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:37,295
Stephanie and I
are very happy living together.
159
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:40,661
I will give either of you 20 dollars,
right now to trade pants with me.
160
00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:49,670
What are you doing here?
161
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:50,840
Hang on.
162
00:09:52,101 --> 00:09:54,058
130 over 80.
163
00:09:54,545 --> 00:09:55,866
It's a little high.
164
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:59,526
We can attribute that to the stress
of sneaking past the security desk.
165
00:10:00,415 --> 00:10:02,726
Where did you get the stethoscope
and the blood pressure cuff?
166
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,645
My aunt Marion gave them
to me for my 12th birthday.
167
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,094
She thought if I failed
at theoretical physics
168
00:10:09,219 --> 00:10:11,526
that I should have
a trade to fall back on.
169
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:16,183
And by the way, the blood pressure cuff
is called a sphygmomanometer.
170
00:10:17,018 --> 00:10:17,866
Thank you.
171
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,910
Didn't they teach you that
in medical school?
172
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,555
- I'm busy here, Sheldon.
- I understand.
173
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,301
All I need is for you
to authorize these tests.
174
00:10:27,345 --> 00:10:30,711
A cardiac stress test,
a full body MRI, an electromyogram,
175
00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:33,108
a CBC, baseline glucose.
Upper GI?
176
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,371
And an exploratory laparoscopy.
177
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:37,645
Last time I had hiccups,
it felt like my diaphragm
178
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,429
was just going through the motions.
179
00:10:40,394 --> 00:10:41,305
Go home.
180
00:10:42,407 --> 00:10:44,059
Can I at least have the upper GI?
181
00:10:44,987 --> 00:10:46,697
I already drank the barium!
182
00:10:51,246 --> 00:10:53,019
Good. Do you have
any fabric softener?
183
00:10:53,144 --> 00:10:54,144
Yeah, sure.
184
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,094
What are you washing?
A crocodile?
185
00:11:07,636 --> 00:11:09,585
No, the pants that Stephanie got me.
186
00:11:10,578 --> 00:11:13,254
Sweetie, you can't machine wash these.
They'll be ruined.
187
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,089
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
188
00:11:18,967 --> 00:11:20,596
I wish you'd told me that sooner.
189
00:11:24,487 --> 00:11:27,102
- Are you guys having problems?
- No, everything's fine.
190
00:11:27,824 --> 00:11:28,824
Really?
191
00:11:29,076 --> 00:11:30,354
Yeah, it's wonderful.
192
00:11:33,011 --> 00:11:35,579
Maybe this whole living together
193
00:11:35,704 --> 00:11:38,083
happened kind of suddenly,
but it's fine, it's great.
194
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,650
You know, if you're uncomfortable
with the way things are going,
195
00:11:41,775 --> 00:11:43,348
you're allowed to say something.
196
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,878
Are you sure?
That doesn't sound right.
197
00:11:46,847 --> 00:11:49,458
Believe me, your feelings
are just as important as hers.
198
00:11:50,659 --> 00:11:53,009
No, that doesn't sound right either.
199
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,807
Just tell her you need
the relationship to move at a pace
200
00:11:56,932 --> 00:11:58,759
that you both are comfortable with.
201
00:12:00,141 --> 00:12:02,525
Yeah, I could say
something like that to her.
202
00:12:03,607 --> 00:12:04,815
I'll go do that.
203
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:06,766
Thank you.
204
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:07,808
Sure.
205
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:15,348
You have a really
good grasp on this.
206
00:12:15,781 --> 00:12:17,365
Maybe you could talk to her?
207
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,279
You're kidding, right?
208
00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:22,830
No, but that's okay.
209
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,462
I'll go talk to her.
210
00:12:29,762 --> 00:12:30,790
Want to come with?
211
00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,683
Go!
212
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,505
What?
213
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,884
You were right.
Your larynx is terribly inflamed.
214
00:12:52,009 --> 00:12:53,727
I've never seen anything like it.
215
00:12:53,852 --> 00:12:55,075
I knew it!
216
00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:58,600
What do I do?!
217
00:13:00,328 --> 00:13:03,278
You're going to need
to stop talking immediately.
218
00:13:04,648 --> 00:13:05,716
For how long...
219
00:13:07,964 --> 00:13:09,014
Immediately.
220
00:13:22,611 --> 00:13:23,881
What's going on?
221
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:26,604
I just performed a "Sheldonectomy."
222
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:31,101
Careful, if you don't get it all,
it'll only come back worse.
223
00:13:32,643 --> 00:13:33,395
Gotcha.
224
00:13:34,071 --> 00:13:35,370
We need to talk.
225
00:13:37,321 --> 00:13:39,984
Do we need to talk
or "do we need to talk"?
226
00:13:40,691 --> 00:13:42,244
I don't know what that means.
227
00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:46,384
Why don't you just tell me
what it is you have to tell me?
228
00:13:49,443 --> 00:13:50,704
Look, it's just that...
229
00:13:50,948 --> 00:13:54,198
things between you and me
have been going pretty quick.
230
00:13:55,448 --> 00:13:56,209
And...?
231
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,377
It's just a little scary.
232
00:13:58,830 --> 00:14:01,080
Well, yeah, but scary good, right?
233
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:02,834
Sure...
234
00:14:04,901 --> 00:14:06,612
When is scary not good?
235
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:09,510
But...
236
00:14:11,566 --> 00:14:12,726
I have feelings, right?
237
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:16,395
Okay, and it's perfectly okay
to express those feelings, right?
238
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,290
Of course, honey, why don't you tell me
what it is you're feeling?
239
00:14:19,415 --> 00:14:21,605
Okay, well, I think
it's important to remember
240
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:24,280
that we move at a pace
241
00:14:24,691 --> 00:14:27,138
that is our speed and...
242
00:14:29,089 --> 00:14:30,485
Oh, shoot, I had it!
243
00:14:32,532 --> 00:14:35,504
How about this?
How about I tell you what I'm feeling?
244
00:14:35,936 --> 00:14:36,971
What's that?
245
00:14:40,461 --> 00:14:41,858
Really? Right now?
246
00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:43,840
Why not?
247
00:14:44,385 --> 00:14:46,714
I just ate, aren't you
supposed to wait an hour?
248
00:14:50,073 --> 00:14:51,598
I think that's for swimming.
249
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,553
I just hope I don't get cramps.
250
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,529
- I put your clothes in the dryer.
- Thank you.
251
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,504
- Your pants are ruined.
- Good.
252
00:15:08,969 --> 00:15:10,866
So, how did the talk
with Stephanie go?
253
00:15:12,076 --> 00:15:13,786
On one level, really...
254
00:15:14,319 --> 00:15:15,401
really well.
255
00:15:17,076 --> 00:15:19,376
So, you told her you wanted
to slow things down?
256
00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:20,883
Not specifically,
257
00:15:21,008 --> 00:15:23,769
but I did tell her
that I had feelings.
258
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,636
Good, good.
259
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,926
And then what?
260
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:30,296
And then...
261
00:15:30,939 --> 00:15:32,979
the subject got changed somehow.
262
00:15:34,381 --> 00:15:36,031
You had sex, didn't you?
263
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:39,475
Little bit.
264
00:15:42,954 --> 00:15:43,954
What?
265
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,080
Nothing.
266
00:15:49,684 --> 00:15:52,242
Okay, well, it sounds
like things are going to work out.
267
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,244
It's all good.
268
00:15:54,552 --> 00:15:57,329
Everything's going to work out.
One way or another.
269
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,498
God, come on, Leonard,
270
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,085
you are entitled to try and make
things go the way you want them to.
271
00:16:03,976 --> 00:16:05,265
- Really?
- Yes!
272
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,258
You don't always have to go along
with what the woman wants.
273
00:16:11,354 --> 00:16:12,094
What?
274
00:16:12,361 --> 00:16:15,011
Nothing. Just...
rethinking my whole life.
275
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,191
Here's the thing.
276
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,092
I'm afraid that if I ask her
to move out,
277
00:16:26,217 --> 00:16:27,410
she'll just dump me.
278
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,906
It's a chance you have to take.
279
00:16:30,191 --> 00:16:32,406
I mean, look,
if it's meant to be, it'll be.
280
00:16:33,874 --> 00:16:35,199
Very comforting.
281
00:16:39,092 --> 00:16:40,478
What do I say to her?
282
00:16:40,887 --> 00:16:42,754
I don't know.
What have women said to you
283
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:44,878
when they wanted to slow
a relationship down?
284
00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:48,796
I really like you, but I want
to see how things go with Mark?
285
00:16:52,338 --> 00:16:54,136
Yeah, that'll slow it down.
286
00:17:01,436 --> 00:17:04,496
I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you.
What were you saying?
287
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,839
Right, yeah...
288
00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:13,014
Here's the thing.
289
00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:15,282
I really like you.
290
00:17:16,039 --> 00:17:18,188
God, here comes the speech.
291
00:17:22,311 --> 00:17:23,361
What speech?
292
00:17:24,561 --> 00:17:26,011
"I really like you,
293
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,317
"but maybe we should spend
a little less time together
294
00:17:29,442 --> 00:17:30,772
"'cause I need my space
295
00:17:31,289 --> 00:17:32,999
"but I'll call you on Tuesday"
296
00:17:33,124 --> 00:17:35,219
and then you never call me,
so I call you,
297
00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:38,264
but you don't call me back
and then when I run into you
298
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,862
at the coffee shop, you pretend
like you've been having problems
299
00:17:40,987 --> 00:17:43,168
with your voice mail
and I know that you're lying,
300
00:17:43,293 --> 00:17:44,956
but I pretend like I don't care
301
00:17:45,307 --> 00:17:47,346
even though I'm dying inside!
302
00:17:57,289 --> 00:17:59,266
I wasn't going to say any of that.
303
00:17:59,391 --> 00:18:00,881
I was just going to say...
304
00:18:02,955 --> 00:18:04,391
I really like you.
305
00:18:06,584 --> 00:18:07,776
Oh, good!
306
00:18:08,923 --> 00:18:10,973
'Cause I really like you, too.
307
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:16,359
Terrific.
308
00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:28,593
Nice sweater.
309
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,110
Stephanie got it for me.
It's kind of fun.
310
00:18:33,648 --> 00:18:35,672
It's got a big bird on it, dude.
311
00:18:37,453 --> 00:18:39,603
Yeah, yeah, that's the fun part.
312
00:18:40,523 --> 00:18:42,583
We're also getting
new curtains for my bedroom,
313
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:46,150
and a dust ruffle, and a duvet,
and I don't even know what a duvet is,
314
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:48,402
but I'm pretty sure if I did
I wouldn't want one,
315
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,689
but every time I talk to her
about moving out,
316
00:18:50,814 --> 00:18:52,468
she cries and we have sex.
317
00:18:54,055 --> 00:18:56,894
You're lucky. With me,
it's usually the other way around.
318
00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:01,597
You know, if you can't talk to her,
why don't you just text her?
319
00:19:02,229 --> 00:19:05,434
- Isn't that kind of cowardly?
- Yeah, it's beyond contemptible.
320
00:19:06,303 --> 00:19:07,020
True,
321
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:09,915
but on the other hand
you are wearing a bird sweater.
322
00:19:14,430 --> 00:19:15,430
Sold.
323
00:19:18,394 --> 00:19:20,935
"I think it would be better
for our relationship
324
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,182
"if you moved back to your place."
325
00:19:26,184 --> 00:19:27,184
There.
326
00:19:28,845 --> 00:19:31,079
- It's done.
- Good for you.
327
00:19:32,366 --> 00:19:33,370
Good for me.
328
00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:35,965
I'll never have sex again.
329
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:43,423
I was wrong. See ya.
330
00:20:06,194 --> 00:20:09,221
I have an inflamed larynx.
331
00:20:16,369 --> 00:20:18,919
We are out of herbal tea.
332
00:20:19,171 --> 00:20:20,507
Do you have any?
333
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:26,056
Okay, let me check.
334
00:20:29,803 --> 00:20:33,286
Some hiney would be nice, too.
335
00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:36,017
Hiney?
336
00:20:39,581 --> 00:20:40,581
Honey.