1
00:00:00,428 --> 00:00:03,298
Your argument is lacking
on all scientific merit.

2
00:00:03,423 --> 00:00:06,827
And it is well established,
Superman cleans his uniform

3
00:00:06,952 --> 00:00:10,703
by flying into Earth yellow Sun,
which incinerate any contaminate matter

4
00:00:10,828 --> 00:00:14,645
and leaves the unvulnerable Kryptonian
fabric unharmed and daisy fresh.

5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,469
What if he gets something
Kryptonian on it?

6
00:00:18,594 --> 00:00:21,730
- Like what?
- I don't know. Kryptonian mustard.

7
00:00:22,485 --> 00:00:25,123
I think we can safely assume
that all Kryptonian condiments

8
00:00:25,248 --> 00:00:28,100
were destroyed
when the planet Krypton exploded.

9
00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:30,549
Or it turned
into mustard Kryptonite,

10
00:00:30,674 --> 00:00:34,529
the only way to destroy a rogue
Kryptonian hotdog threatening Earth.

11
00:00:35,859 --> 00:00:38,058
Raj, please,
let's stay serious here.

12
00:00:38,727 --> 00:00:41,957
Superman's body is Kryptonian,
therefore his sweat is Kryptonian.

13
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,164
What about Kryptonian pit stains?

14
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:47,211
Superman doesn't sweat
on Earth.

15
00:00:47,765 --> 00:00:50,025
He's invited for dinner
in the Bottle City of Kandor.

16
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,953
He miniaturizes himself, enters the city
where he loses his superpowers.

17
00:00:53,078 --> 00:00:54,554
Before dinner, his host says,

18
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,829
"Who's up for a little
Kryptonian tetherball?"

19
00:00:56,954 --> 00:00:59,588
Superman says "Sure," works up a sweat,
comes back to Earth,

20
00:00:59,713 --> 00:01:02,728
his uniform now stained with
indestructible Kryptonian perspiration.

21
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,401
Boo ya.

22
00:01:09,666 --> 00:01:11,473
Superman would have
taken his uniform

23
00:01:11,598 --> 00:01:14,599
to a Kandorian dry cleaner
before he left the Bottle.

24
00:01:15,587 --> 00:01:17,158
"Kandorian dry cl..." I give up.

25
00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:20,278
You can't have a rational
argument with this man.

26
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,485
Isn't that the guy who won
the MacArthur genius grant last year?

27
00:01:25,898 --> 00:01:27,348
No, not all at once.

28
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:29,130
Then how?

29
00:01:29,471 --> 00:01:30,526
Leonard.

30
00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:33,461
Now, Raj.

31
00:01:35,723 --> 00:01:37,067
Now, Sheldon.

32
00:01:39,228 --> 00:01:41,389
I didn't get a good look.
Can I go again?

33
00:01:42,351 --> 00:01:45,187
- It's David Underhill. So what?
- So what?

34
00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:47,880
His observation of high-energy positrons
has provided

35
00:01:48,005 --> 00:01:51,152
the first conclusive evidence for
the existence of galactic dark matter.

36
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,852
I have two words for you.
The first is "big," the other's "whoop."

37
00:01:55,214 --> 00:01:56,549
It is a big whoop.

38
00:01:56,674 --> 00:01:59,118
It made almost all the work
you've done completely useless.

39
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,743
- Did not.
- Did, too.

40
00:02:01,593 --> 00:02:03,616
Okay, maybe some of it, but...

41
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:06,504
The guy was just in the right place,
at the right time

42
00:02:06,629 --> 00:02:09,290
with the right paradigm-shifting
reinterpretation of the universe.

43
00:02:09,415 --> 00:02:10,897
He got lucky.

44
00:02:11,739 --> 00:02:13,282
In more ways than one.

45
00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:15,378
He's a very handsome man.

46
00:02:16,265 --> 00:02:18,534
Doesn't do anything for me.
If I was gonna go that way,

47
00:02:18,659 --> 00:02:20,688
I'm more of a Zac Efron kinda guy.

48
00:02:23,828 --> 00:02:26,103
Yeah, like you have
a shot with Zac Efron.

49
00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:30,232
Excuse me...
Are you Leonard Hofstadter?

50
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,346
I'm David Underhill.

51
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,503
Dr. Gablehauser said if I wanted
to set something up

52
00:02:38,628 --> 00:02:41,723
in the photomultiplier lab,
that you'd be able to give me a hand?

53
00:02:41,848 --> 00:02:44,163
- You want to work with me?
- If you have a little time.

54
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:46,665
Sure.

55
00:02:47,107 --> 00:02:48,484
Yeah, no problem.

56
00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:51,086
Here's my home number.
Here's my cell.

57
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,088
Here's my office.

58
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,951
Here's my parents' number
up in New Jersey.

59
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,223
They always know how to reach me.

60
00:02:58,348 --> 00:03:01,447
Congratulations on the MacArthur Grant,
by the way. Big fan.

61
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,265
Thanks. I'll call you.

62
00:03:05,297 --> 00:03:06,297
Bye-bye!

63
00:03:11,329 --> 00:03:14,624
What are you looking at?
You've never seen a hypocrite before?

64
00:03:33,134 --> 00:03:34,751
Subtitles: sub-way.fr

65
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,053
Trailing badly,
Wolowitz needs a strike

66
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,514
if he has any hopes of catching up
with Sheldon Cooper,

67
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:47,594
who is dominating in the ninth frame
with a career-best 68.

68
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,416
Hey, guys!

69
00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:02,116
That doesn't count.
Do over! Do over!

70
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,618
There are no do-overs
in Wii bowling.

71
00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:08,702
There are always do-overs
when my people play sports.

72
00:04:10,127 --> 00:04:12,630
Where were you that's more important
than Wii bowling night?

73
00:04:12,755 --> 00:04:14,391
- Actually...
- It's rhetorical.

74
00:04:14,516 --> 00:04:17,579
There is nothing more important
than Wii bowling night.

75
00:04:17,749 --> 00:04:20,885
Come on, it's just a video game.
And we suck at it.

76
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:24,680
Nice motivational speech
from the team captain.

77
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,309
- Where were you?
- I was working with Dave Underhill.

78
00:04:29,128 --> 00:04:32,190
"Dave." Sounds like
Leonard's got a new BFF.

79
00:04:33,629 --> 00:04:37,334
Actually, he's pretty cool.
Not only is he a brilliant scientist,

80
00:04:37,459 --> 00:04:39,612
but it turns out
he's a Black Diamond skier.

81
00:04:39,902 --> 00:04:42,865
He collects vintage motorcycles.
He plays in a rock band.

82
00:04:43,605 --> 00:04:45,530
So? We're in a rock band.

83
00:04:45,655 --> 00:04:46,655
No...

84
00:04:47,532 --> 00:04:49,582
We play Rock Band
on our X-Box.

85
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:54,047
Nice motivational speech
from our lead guitarist.

86
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:55,632
He's funny, too.

87
00:04:55,757 --> 00:04:59,676
He does this hysterical impersonation
of Stephen Hawking having phone sex.

88
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,160
What are you wearing?

89
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,854
That's not... He does it better.

90
00:05:07,424 --> 00:05:09,582
He said he was gonna
take me to the gym tomorrow,

91
00:05:09,707 --> 00:05:11,810
so I'm gonna go practice my situps.

92
00:05:13,841 --> 00:05:15,856
Humongous man crush,
dude.

93
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:18,813
Yeah.
It's officially a bro-mance.

94
00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:22,863
Are you and Leonard
putting up a Christmas tree?

95
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,651
No, because we don't celebrate

96
00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:27,117
the ancient pagan festival
of Saturnalia.

97
00:05:28,886 --> 00:05:31,347
- Saturnalia?
- Gather round, kids,

98
00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:34,316
it's time for Sheldon's
beloved Christmas special.

99
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,002
In the pre-Christian era,

100
00:05:38,127 --> 00:05:40,465
as the winter solstice
approached and the plants died,

101
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,046
pagans brought evergreen boughs
into their homes

102
00:05:43,171 --> 00:05:44,885
as an act of sympathetic magic,

103
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,805
intended to guard the life essences
of the plants until spring.

104
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:50,733
This custom was later appropriated
by Northern Europeans

105
00:05:50,858 --> 00:05:53,560
and eventually it becomes
the so-called Christmas tree.

106
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:59,027
And that, Charlie Brown,
is what boredom is all about.

107
00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:03,482
Thank you for that,
but I got you and Leonard

108
00:06:03,607 --> 00:06:06,198
a few silly neighbor gifts,
so I'll just put them under my tree.

109
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,076
Wait!
You bought me a present?

110
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,287
Why would you do such a thing?

111
00:06:13,435 --> 00:06:14,957
'Cause it's Christmas?

112
00:06:15,964 --> 00:06:17,907
I know you think
you're being generous,

113
00:06:18,032 --> 00:06:20,645
but the foundation
of gift-giving is reciprocity.

114
00:06:20,770 --> 00:06:24,270
You haven't given me a gift.
You've given me an obligation.

115
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,903
Don't feel bad, Penny,
it's a classic rookie mistake.

116
00:06:29,028 --> 00:06:31,932
My first Hanukah with Sheldon,
he yelled at me for eight nights.

117
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,437
You don't have
to get me anything in return.

118
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,041
Of course I do.
The essence of the custom

119
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,276
is that I now have to go out and
purchase a gift of commensurate value

120
00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,777
and representing the same
perceived level of friendship

121
00:06:44,902 --> 00:06:47,406
as that represented
by the gift you've given me.

122
00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:51,035
It's no wonder suicide rates
skyrocket this time of year.

123
00:06:52,175 --> 00:06:54,038
Forget it.
I'm not giving you a present.

124
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:57,930
It's too late. I see it.
That elf sticker says, "To Sheldon."

125
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,753
The die has been cast.
The moving finger has writ,

126
00:07:01,878 --> 00:07:03,873
Hannibal has crossed the Alps.

127
00:07:05,428 --> 00:07:08,137
I know. It's funny
when it's not happening to us.

128
00:07:10,684 --> 00:07:13,265
Sheldon, I am very, very sorry.

129
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,266
No, I brought this on myself

130
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:18,437
by being such an endearing
and important part of your life.

131
00:07:19,953 --> 00:07:21,982
I'm going to need
a ride to the mall.

132
00:07:23,315 --> 00:07:24,994
It's happening to us.

133
00:07:30,318 --> 00:07:32,702
- Are you gonna make it?
- Yeah, I guess.

134
00:07:34,568 --> 00:07:37,698
Thanks for letting me try out
your motorcycle.

135
00:07:38,118 --> 00:07:39,208
No problem.

136
00:07:39,532 --> 00:07:41,646
I had no idea it was so heavy.

137
00:07:42,519 --> 00:07:45,292
The thing just fell right
over on me, didn't it?

138
00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:47,767
Yeah.
Lucky for you it wasn't moving.

139
00:07:49,106 --> 00:07:50,844
Hey, Leonard. Are you okay?

140
00:07:51,298 --> 00:07:53,347
It's just a little
motorcycle accident.

141
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,224
My God, how fast were you going?

142
00:07:55,585 --> 00:07:57,737
I don't know. It's all such a blur.

143
00:07:59,621 --> 00:08:01,355
Good one.
He couldn't even get it started.

144
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,857
- Hi. Dave.
- Hi.

145
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:06,068
Penny.
So it's your motorcycle?

146
00:08:07,257 --> 00:08:08,821
- Is it okay?
- It's fine.

147
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:12,653
Lucky for the bike
it landed on my leg.

148
00:08:13,902 --> 00:08:16,203
You mind giving me a hand
with Speed Racer here?

149
00:08:17,858 --> 00:08:20,657
- How do you know Leonard?
- I'm a physicist.

150
00:08:20,782 --> 00:08:22,092
No, you're not.

151
00:08:23,765 --> 00:08:25,351
Why is that so surprising?

152
00:08:25,476 --> 00:08:28,370
Well, it's just that
the physicists I know

153
00:08:28,495 --> 00:08:30,383
are indoorsy and pale.

154
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:34,547
I'm not indoorsy.
I just wear the appropriate sun block

155
00:08:34,672 --> 00:08:37,167
because I don't take
melanoma lightly.

156
00:08:37,292 --> 00:08:39,924
So, are you and Leonard
working on an experiment together?

157
00:08:40,049 --> 00:08:42,597
- Actually we are.
- We're examining the radiation levels

158
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:45,385
of photomultiplier tubes
for a new dark matter detector.

159
00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:47,721
Sweetie, sweetie, Dave was talking.

160
00:08:48,847 --> 00:08:50,749
You know, I love science.

161
00:08:50,874 --> 00:08:52,686
- Since when?
- Since always.

162
00:08:53,526 --> 00:08:55,399
Call me a geek, but I am just nuts

163
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:58,119
for the whole subatomic
particle thing.

164
00:08:58,443 --> 00:09:00,725
The last thing I would
ever call you is a geek.

165
00:09:01,214 --> 00:09:03,753
Well, that's what I am...
queen of the nerds.

166
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,892
If you like, I could show you
the lab we're working in.

167
00:09:08,017 --> 00:09:10,466
We've got some cool toys,
you know, lasers and stuff.

168
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:14,043
You know, I have always wanted
to see a big science lab.

169
00:09:14,168 --> 00:09:15,986
- Since when?
- Since always.

170
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:18,140
Leonard, are you okay here?

171
00:09:18,464 --> 00:09:20,392
- I guess.
- How about we go see it now?

172
00:09:20,819 --> 00:09:23,729
Maybe afterwards we take the bike,
we grab a little bite to eat...

173
00:09:24,575 --> 00:09:27,142
Yeah, that sounds great.
Let me just get my jacket.

174
00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:32,991
Boy, she'll do, huh?

175
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,522
Yeah, if you like that type.

176
00:09:37,362 --> 00:09:38,812
So, you and her...?

177
00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:41,455
- No, just neighbors.
- Really?

178
00:09:42,028 --> 00:09:43,790
I don't know how you live
next door to that

179
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:45,537
without doing something about it.

180
00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:48,121
Actually...

181
00:09:49,126 --> 00:09:50,576
science is my lady.

182
00:09:53,438 --> 00:09:55,334
- Okay. Let's go.
- All right.

183
00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:57,534
- See you tomorrow, Leonard.
- See ya.

184
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,015
Have fun.

185
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,362
Did you forget your key?

186
00:10:25,573 --> 00:10:28,663
I don't see anything in here
a woman would want.

187
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:30,837
You're kidding.

188
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,648
You've got lotions
and bath oils and soaps.

189
00:10:34,419 --> 00:10:36,449
That's the estrogen hat trick.

190
00:10:38,616 --> 00:10:40,633
What it is is a cacophonous assault

191
00:10:40,758 --> 00:10:43,653
of eucalyptus, bayberry,
cinnamon and vanilla.

192
00:10:44,857 --> 00:10:47,896
It's as if my head were trapped
in the pajamas of a sultan.

193
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:52,648
If you don't like this stuff,
let's go next door and build her a bear.

194
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,652
I told you before,
bears are terrifying.

195
00:10:58,008 --> 00:10:58,781
Come on,

196
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,755
bath stuff. It's perfect!

197
00:11:01,006 --> 00:11:03,620
You got a scented candle,
a cleansing buff,

198
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:06,331
spearmint and green tea scented
bath oil, promotes relaxation.

199
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:08,248
That presupposes Penny is tense.

200
00:11:08,373 --> 00:11:11,443
She knows you. She's tense.
We all are. Buy a basket!

201
00:11:11,568 --> 00:11:14,125
- Excuse me, we're ready.
- No, we're not.

202
00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:18,096
Let's say for a moment that I accept
the bath item gift hypothesis,

203
00:11:18,221 --> 00:11:20,595
I now lay the following
conundrum at your feet:

204
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:21,780
Which size?

205
00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:24,150
This one. Let's go.

206
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,895
- You put no thought into that.
- I'm sorry.

207
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,074
This one. Let's go!

208
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,746
I have insufficient data to proceed.

209
00:11:33,871 --> 00:11:35,110
Excuse me, miss?

210
00:11:36,659 --> 00:11:38,655
If I were to give you
this gift basket,

211
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:41,195
based on that action alone
and no other data,

212
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,054
infer and describe
the hypothetical relationship

213
00:11:44,179 --> 00:11:45,829
that exists between us.

214
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,785
Excuse me?

215
00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:50,968
Here.

216
00:11:51,863 --> 00:11:53,205
Now, are we friends?

217
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:55,027
Colleagues? Lovers?

218
00:11:56,605 --> 00:11:58,133
Are you my grandmother?

219
00:12:00,317 --> 00:12:02,293
I don't understand
what you're talking about

220
00:12:02,418 --> 00:12:04,555
and you're making me
a little uncomfortable.

221
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,976
See? Sounds just like you and Penny.
We'll take it.

222
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,859
- Leonard. Come, join us.
- Hey, Dave.

223
00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:18,193
And Penny, what a surprise.

224
00:12:19,727 --> 00:12:21,632
Dave was just showing me
around the university.

225
00:12:21,757 --> 00:12:23,241
This place is unbelievable!

226
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,549
I know, I've been offering to show
you around for a year and a half.

227
00:12:27,449 --> 00:12:28,914
You always said you had yoga.

228
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,607
- I never said that.
- Maybe I heard you wrong.

229
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,767
A lot of words sound like "yoga."

230
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,591
This is an amazing woman.
She has a curious and agile mind,

231
00:12:39,924 --> 00:12:42,677
not to mention being curious and agile
in other respects.

232
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,515
Shut up!

233
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,591
Yes, please shut up.

234
00:12:48,873 --> 00:12:49,893
So... Dave,

235
00:12:50,245 --> 00:12:52,504
don't you think you and I
should get back to the lab?

236
00:12:52,629 --> 00:12:55,655
You know, that dark matter
isn't going to detect itself.

237
00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:01,172
Actually, I was thinking about
taking the afternoon off

238
00:13:01,297 --> 00:13:03,346
so I could work on another
experiment with Penny.

239
00:13:03,471 --> 00:13:05,305
Really? We're going
to do an experiment?

240
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,936
We're going to explore
the effects of tequila shots

241
00:13:08,061 --> 00:13:10,080
on a gorgeous 22-year-old woman.

242
00:13:10,442 --> 00:13:13,417
It's not an experiment!
You saw what happened last night.

243
00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:16,756
- You ready to go?
- Yeah.

244
00:13:16,881 --> 00:13:19,270
- Can I drive the motorcycle?
- Yeah, why not?

245
00:13:19,395 --> 00:13:21,270
You can't do any worse than Leonard.

246
00:13:22,528 --> 00:13:23,844
That's funny.

247
00:13:26,668 --> 00:13:29,537
By the way, my leg is killing me.
Thanks for asking.

248
00:13:53,273 --> 00:13:54,566
Great news, Leonard.

249
00:13:54,691 --> 00:13:56,788
I've solved my Penny gift dilemma.

250
00:13:57,262 --> 00:13:58,262
Yippee.

251
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:02,346
You see, the danger was
that I might under or over-reciprocate,

252
00:14:02,471 --> 00:14:04,217
but I have devised a foolproof plan.

253
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:07,137
See, I will open
her gift to me first

254
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:10,288
and then excuse myself,
feigning digestive distress.

255
00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:11,432
Then...

256
00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:13,525
I'll look up the price
of her gift online,

257
00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:15,479
choose the basket
closest to that value,

258
00:14:15,919 --> 00:14:17,105
give it to her

259
00:14:17,549 --> 00:14:20,291
and then I'll return the others
for a full refund.

260
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:22,994
Brilliant.

261
00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:24,930
It is, isn't it?

262
00:14:26,253 --> 00:14:28,249
Is it okay if I hide them
in your room?

263
00:14:28,374 --> 00:14:30,555
The smell makes me nauseated.

264
00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:34,742
- Do whatever you want.
- Thank you, that's very gracious.

265
00:14:37,097 --> 00:14:38,178
Gentlemen.

266
00:14:42,079 --> 00:14:44,178
Why couldn't you have just done
what Leonard did

267
00:14:44,303 --> 00:14:46,299
and get Penny a new boyfriend?

268
00:14:50,643 --> 00:14:53,357
My leg is killing me.
Thanks for asking.

269
00:15:04,856 --> 00:15:06,934
I have just one question for you.

270
00:15:07,652 --> 00:15:10,217
While I am perfectly happy with the way
things are between us,

271
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:12,094
you said you didn't want
to go out with me

272
00:15:12,219 --> 00:15:13,887
because I was too smart for you!

273
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,716
News flash, lady:

274
00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:18,291
David Underhill is
ten times smarter than me!

275
00:15:18,416 --> 00:15:20,637
You'd have to drive
a railroad spike into his brain

276
00:15:20,762 --> 00:15:22,665
for me to beat him at checkers!

277
00:15:23,611 --> 00:15:26,185
Next to him, I'm like one
of those sign-language gorillas

278
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,385
who knows how to ask for grapes!

279
00:15:29,354 --> 00:15:31,004
So, my question is...

280
00:15:32,043 --> 00:15:33,510
What's up with that?!

281
00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:37,894
Why are you yelling at me?

282
00:15:38,547 --> 00:15:40,431
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

283
00:15:40,556 --> 00:15:42,206
Never mind, we're cool.

284
00:15:43,091 --> 00:15:45,402
Dave is not smarter than you.
He's an idiot.

285
00:15:46,749 --> 00:15:48,623
Really? Why would you say that?

286
00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:52,271
Because a smart guy takes
the nude photos of his wife

287
00:15:52,396 --> 00:15:54,698
off his cell phone
before he tries to take nude photos

288
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,165
of his girlfriend.

289
00:15:58,638 --> 00:16:00,988
He tried to take nude photos of you?

290
00:16:01,372 --> 00:16:03,437
That's what you took from that?!

291
00:16:06,073 --> 00:16:07,786
The guy is married!

292
00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:12,347
I'm so... Oh, that's terrible.

293
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,820
And you, if you are so okay
with the way things are between us,

294
00:16:15,945 --> 00:16:17,267
why are you so jealous?

295
00:16:20,382 --> 00:16:23,417
The important thing is
he's married and that's terrible!

296
00:16:26,164 --> 00:16:27,705
Nice save, genius.

297
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,283
Eggnog?

298
00:16:30,408 --> 00:16:31,408
Lactose.

299
00:16:33,481 --> 00:16:36,453
It's just rum. It stopped being eggnog
like half an hour ago.

300
00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:43,333
Smooth.

301
00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:47,036
Smoother than you.

302
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:51,067
Come on, it's Christmas,
just give me this one.

303
00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:56,073
Merry Christmas.

304
00:17:01,641 --> 00:17:04,307
By the way, my leg is killing me.
Thanks for asking.

305
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:15,075
Merry Christmas.
How's your leg?

306
00:17:15,471 --> 00:17:17,610
Very good, thanks for asking.
Come on in.

307
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,457
Good, Penny,
you're here to exchange gifts.

308
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:29,618
You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared
for whatever you have to offer.

309
00:17:30,862 --> 00:17:31,966
Okay, here.

310
00:17:35,969 --> 00:17:39,127
I should note I'm having
some digestive distress,

311
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,951
so, if I excuse myself abruptly,
don't be alarmed.

312
00:17:54,970 --> 00:17:56,050
A napkin.

313
00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,369
Turn it over.

314
00:18:06,445 --> 00:18:07,419
"To Sheldon,

315
00:18:08,099 --> 00:18:09,925
"live long and prosper.

316
00:18:11,744 --> 00:18:13,215
"Leonard Nimoy."

317
00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:18,338
He came into the restaurant.

318
00:18:18,463 --> 00:18:21,008
Sorry the napkin's dirty.
He wiped his mouth with it.

319
00:18:26,197 --> 00:18:29,599
I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy?!

320
00:18:38,514 --> 00:18:40,994
Yeah, I guess.
But look, he signed it.

321
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,530
Do you realize what this means?!

322
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:48,003
All I need is a healthy ovum

323
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,478
and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!

324
00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:58,978
All I'm giving you
is the napkin, Sheldon.

325
00:19:01,953 --> 00:19:03,103
Be right back.

326
00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:07,332
Here. Open it.

327
00:19:12,262 --> 00:19:15,278
A gift cerficate
for motorcycle lessons.

328
00:19:17,869 --> 00:19:20,020
- Very thoughtful.
- Yeah, and I checked.

329
00:19:20,145 --> 00:19:22,427
Not letting the bike fall on you
while standing still

330
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:23,796
is lesson one.

331
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,212
Then, I think you'll appreciate
what I got you.

332
00:19:33,176 --> 00:19:36,741
"101 Totally Cool Science
Experiments for Kids."

333
00:19:41,859 --> 00:19:44,202
You know,
'cause you're so into science.

334
00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:57,654
Sheldon! What did you do?!

335
00:19:58,638 --> 00:19:59,638
I know!

336
00:20:01,196 --> 00:20:02,700
It's not enough, is it?

337
00:20:05,749 --> 00:20:06,749
Here.

338
00:20:20,028 --> 00:20:22,289
Leonard, look!
Sheldon's hugging me.

339
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,612
It's a Saturnalia miracle.