1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:03,157
Mmm...

2
00:00:05,767 --> 00:00:11,766
Gentlemen, I put it to you.
The worst tapioca pudding is better than
the best pudding of any other flavor.

3
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:16,992
First off, that is axiomatically wrong,
because the best pudding is chocolate.

4
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:23,045
Secondly, the organic structure of tapioca makes it
a jiggling bowl of potential death.

5
00:00:23,045 --> 00:00:24,332
It is extracted from the plant-

6
00:00:24,332 --> 00:00:26,400
Hey, I'm thinking of growing a mustache.

7
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,740
No kidding! Foo Man Choo! A handlebar pencil.

8
00:00:31,849 --> 00:00:35,605
Sheldon: It is extracted from the plant-
Howard: I'm not sure yet. You know, George Clooney has one now!

9
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,136
Really? I once saw him shopping at Ralph's.
He was buying tequila.

10
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:43,096
You think a guy like that would have some kind of booze lackey.

11
00:00:48,122 --> 00:00:51,300
Alright this is cruel,
we better let him finish before his head explodes.

12
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,250
Alright Sheldon, why is tapioca...

13
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,469
Tapioca is extracted from the root of the plant Manihot esculenta.

14
00:00:56,469 --> 00:01:00,500
Due to a high concentration of cyanide,
it is poisonous in its raw form
and lethal if prepared improperly.

15
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:05,756
Feel better now?

16
00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:09,819
It is also indigenous to Brazil, as is the Cocoa Bean,
from which we get chocolate, the best pudding.

17
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,361
And you promised you wouldn't do that anymore!

18
00:01:14,127 --> 00:01:15,717
Hey Hofstadter!

19
00:01:15,893 --> 00:01:16,893
Hey Kripke.

20
00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:19,120
Read about your latest proton decay experiment,

21
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,840
20 thousand data runs and
no statistically significant results.

22
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,768
Very impressive!

23
00:01:26,809 --> 00:01:27,950
What a jerk.

24
00:01:28,125 --> 00:01:30,744
Don't feel bad Leonard,
negative results are still results.

25
00:01:31,544 --> 00:01:33,397
Even 20 thousand of 'em.

26
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,361
Alright.

27
00:01:35,779 --> 00:01:37,498
Please don't cheer me up anymore.

28
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,831
C'mon, don't let him get to you.
It's Kripke.

29
00:01:39,950 --> 00:01:42,061
Yeah, he's a... ginormous knob.

30
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,289
That's why he eats by himself,
instead of sitting here at the cool table.

31
00:01:47,469 --> 00:01:48,591
Fo' shizzle.

32
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:56,640
Hey it's true, Kripke lacks the basic social skills that we take for granted.

33
00:01:58,069 --> 00:02:04,524
But he also controls the new open science grid computer
that I need to use to run some simulations of
structure formation in the early universe.

34
00:02:04,768 --> 00:02:08,249
Good luck getting time on it.
The only people he lets use it are his friends.

35
00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:10,456
Well then, the solution is simple.

36
00:02:10,678 --> 00:02:12,110
I shall befriend him.

37
00:02:12,817 --> 00:02:13,707
Kripke!

38
00:02:14,864 --> 00:02:15,833
Yeah?

39
00:02:17,050 --> 00:02:19,900
What'd you say of the idea of,
you and I becoming friends?

40
00:02:20,301 --> 00:02:23,690
I would say, I have no interest in becoming your friend.

41
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:31,267
Really? That seems rather short-sided,
coming from someone who is generally considered
altogther unlikable.

42
00:02:33,114 --> 00:02:35,259
Why don't you take some time to reconsider?

43
00:02:35,493 --> 00:02:36,679
Yeah, I'll do that.

44
00:02:39,765 --> 00:02:41,671
Well I think we're off to a terrific start.

45
00:02:43,136 --> 00:03:05,680
The Big Bang Theory S02E13
The Friendship Algorithm
Subtitled by blued888
www.eclecticelectronics.net

46
00:03:07,495 --> 00:03:07,982
There you go.

47
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:10,919
Now any e-mail from Wolowitz
will go right into your spam folder.

48
00:03:12,911 --> 00:03:13,357
Thanks!

49
00:03:13,357 --> 00:03:16,781
I mean the e-mail doesn't bother me as much as
the vacation pictures of him in a bathing suit.

50
00:03:18,259 --> 00:03:19,707
Yeah, I got the same one.

51
00:03:20,288 --> 00:03:22,855
And that's not a bathing suit, it's a tan line.

52
00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:34,466
Hello. This is Sheldon Cooper.
I'm leaving a message for Barry Kripke.

53
00:03:34,742 --> 00:03:38,984
Barry, It was pleasant seeing you today in the cafeteria.

54
00:03:39,664 --> 00:03:42,258
I saw that you purchased the chef's salad.

55
00:03:42,507 --> 00:03:47,645
Apparently, you did not know that the chef's salad
is kitchen trickery, to utilize scrap meat.

56
00:03:50,108 --> 00:03:52,250
Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it.

57
00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:58,634
I'm following up on our pending friendship,
and I look forward to hearing from you regarding its status.

58
00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:01,202
Sheldon Cooper.

59
00:04:04,361 --> 00:04:05,478
What's up with Ichabod?

60
00:04:07,424 --> 00:04:08,902
Oh he's trying to make a new friend.

61
00:04:08,902 --> 00:04:10,814
Oh really? Well, good for him.

62
00:04:11,046 --> 00:04:14,137
Well, unless he's makes one out of wood like Gepetto,
I don't think it's gonna happen.

63
00:04:17,095 --> 00:04:19,095
Well, how did you guys become friends?

64
00:04:19,056 --> 00:04:22,054
There was a fire on the bulletin board at the university.

65
00:04:21,992 --> 00:04:24,927
Roommate wanted. Whistlers need not apply.

66
00:04:26,154 --> 00:04:27,685
And you moved in anyway?

67
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,575
I assumed he was joking.

68
00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:32,833
You'd be surprised how many
particle physicists have a whimsical side.

69
00:04:34,382 --> 00:04:37,116
Oh what about Howard and Raj you mean?
How did you become friends with them?

70
00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:37,697
I don't know...

71
00:04:37,697 --> 00:04:40,127
How do carbon atoms form a benzene ring?

72
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,023
Proximity and valence electrons.

73
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,889
Well yeah, sure. When you put it that way.

74
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,406
But it all worked out, right?

75
00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:50,287
I suppose.

76
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,112
I do miss whistling though.

77
00:04:53,239 --> 00:04:54,328
Oh come on. Really?

78
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,352
(Whistles)

79
00:04:55,574 --> 00:04:56,926
1st warning.

80
00:05:00,723 --> 00:05:01,592
(Knocks) Penny.

81
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:02,920
(Knocks) Penny.

82
00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:04,181
(Knocks) Penny.

83
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:06,614
This is for you.

84
00:05:07,895 --> 00:05:08,997
Hello Sheldon.

85
00:05:09,791 --> 00:05:10,599
Hi.

86
00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:14,984
What is this?

87
00:05:15,157 --> 00:05:16,435
It's a questionnaire I devised.

88
00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:19,611
I'm having some difficulty bonding
with a colleague at work.

89
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:23,062
So I'm doing a little research to better understand
why my current friends like me.

90
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,484
Yes. Well, that is a good question.

91
00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:30,767
But is this really the best way to figure it out?

92
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,007
Yeah, I agree.
The social sciences are largely hokum.

93
00:05:34,387 --> 00:05:40,259
But, short of putting electrodes in your brain and monitoring
your response to my companionship, this is the best I can do.

94
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:46,704
Okay, question 1. Rank the following aspects of
Sheldon Cooper in order of appeal.

95
00:05:47,287 --> 00:05:48,141
Intelligence.

96
00:05:48,174 --> 00:05:49,903
Ruthless attention to hygiene.

97
00:05:50,094 --> 00:05:50,958
Playfulness.

98
00:05:50,845 --> 00:05:52,695
Java applet writing?

99
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:57,982
I know, I may have started off with a fairly obvious one.

100
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,166
You did an aspect of my most appealing trait, playfulness.

101
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,532
Why just go ahead and rank that number 1.

102
00:06:04,876 --> 00:06:06,199
I'm afraid you're on your own for the rest.

103
00:06:06,413 --> 00:06:08,221
It should take you no more than 3 hours.

104
00:06:09,122 --> 00:06:11,125
Wait! How many questions are on this thing?

105
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,444
Only 211.

106
00:06:14,189 --> 00:06:17,460
Don't worry, in deference to you,
I've kept them on a high school graduate reading level.

107
00:06:19,835 --> 00:06:21,249
Thanks pal.

108
00:06:21,118 --> 00:06:21,983
You got it...

109
00:06:22,444 --> 00:06:22,855
Buddy.

110
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:29,461
Sheldon honey, did you ever consider making friends
by being, I don't know, pleasant?

111
00:06:30,910 --> 00:06:33,539
Well that's certainly a thought-provoking hypothesis.

112
00:06:33,641 --> 00:06:36,673
May I suggest it as the topic for your... essay.

113
00:06:41,721 --> 00:06:42,472
(Tuts)

114
00:06:42,609 --> 00:06:45,060
Your questionnaire, very disappointing.

115
00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:50,745
I answered every question Sheldon.

116
00:06:50,708 --> 00:06:53,354
You answered the multiple choice questions in a pattern.

117
00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:57,970
A B B A C. A B B A C.

118
00:07:00,431 --> 00:07:01,643
Aw, you picked up on that huh?

119
00:07:03,487 --> 00:07:04,516
How could I not?

120
00:07:04,975 --> 00:07:07,365
Come on! There's over 200 questions.

121
00:07:07,365 --> 00:07:08,790
And look at some of these things.

122
00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:13,115
Sheldon is to camaraderie, as the space shuttle is to blank?

123
00:07:14,202 --> 00:07:16,173
There are a number of acceptable answers,

124
00:07:16,173 --> 00:07:21,035
for example, C: near earth's transport, but certainly not B: avocado rancher.

125
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:27,781
And your essay, suggesting that I'd have better luck
making friends if I wait 'til the Cylons take over?

126
00:07:29,626 --> 00:07:30,469
Please.

127
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,622
Hold on. I put some real work into that!

128
00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:35,980
Yes, well it's better than what Wolowitz did.

129
00:07:36,045 --> 00:07:39,591
He drew a raccoon with what appears to be, a distended scrotum.

130
00:07:42,722 --> 00:07:43,689
It's kinda cute.

131
00:07:45,407 --> 00:07:46,649
Until you get to the scrotum.

132
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:55,108
What hope do I have for establishing new relationships
given that my current friends apparently cannot take
a few hours out of their lives to help me?

133
00:07:55,255 --> 00:07:57,795
Sheldon, I'm not going to defend a big bald raccoon.

134
00:07:59,405 --> 00:08:00,627
I don't see how you could.

135
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:06,775
What I'm trying to say is that, maybe you can't approach this as a purely intellectual exercise.

136
00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:08,756
What do you mean!?

137
00:08:10,266 --> 00:08:13,853
Well, remember when you tried to learn how to swim using the internet?

138
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,516
I did learn how to swim.

139
00:08:18,293 --> 00:08:19,589
On the floor.

140
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:22,677
The skills are transferrable.

141
00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:25,207
I just have no interest in going in the water.

142
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,649
Then why learn how to swim?

143
00:08:27,649 --> 00:08:31,412
The ice caps are melting Leonard. In the future, swimming isn't going to be optional.

144
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,014
But you do bring up an interesting point.

145
00:08:35,370 --> 00:08:37,155
I don't have to break new ground here.

146
00:08:37,394 --> 00:08:39,669
I'm sure much of the research already exists.

147
00:08:39,817 --> 00:08:43,581
No... no, my point is, if you wanna learn how to make friends,

148
00:08:43,581 --> 00:08:45,362
then just go out to a coffee shop,

149
00:08:45,362 --> 00:08:49,913
or a museum. Meet people. Talk to them.
Take an interest in their lives.

150
00:08:50,818 --> 00:08:52,611
That's insane on the face of it.

151
00:08:54,296 --> 00:08:54,906
Come on.

152
00:08:55,093 --> 00:08:55,880
Where are we going?

153
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:56,991
You're driving me to the mall.

154
00:08:57,019 --> 00:09:00,824
I'm going to acquire a book that summarizes
the current theories in the field of friendmaking.

155
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,363
Why don't you just lie down on the floor and swim there?

156
00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:12,807
Coping with the death of a loved one.

157
00:09:14,696 --> 00:09:15,845
My condolences.

158
00:09:15,845 --> 00:09:16,465
Thank you.

159
00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:19,274
Family or friend?

160
00:09:19,504 --> 00:09:20,129
Family.

161
00:09:20,233 --> 00:09:20,902
Too bad.

162
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,392
If it'd been a friend, I'm available to fill the void.

163
00:09:30,261 --> 00:09:32,429
It's just as well, she smelled like moth balls.

164
00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:36,904
Okay, if you're gonna start sniffing people, I'm gonna go get a hot pretzel.

165
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,379
Excuse me.

166
00:09:40,564 --> 00:09:43,213
Do you have any books about making friends?

167
00:09:43,473 --> 00:09:45,931
Uhm, yeah but they're all for little kids.

168
00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:48,783
I assume the skills can be extrapolated and transferred.

169
00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:50,204
Uh, I guess.

170
00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:52,544
They're right over there by the wooden train set.

171
00:09:52,577 --> 00:09:55,004
Oh! I love trains!

172
00:09:57,342 --> 00:09:58,417
I bet you do.

173
00:10:01,722 --> 00:10:04,059
Oh my! That's awfully sticky.

174
00:10:07,198 --> 00:10:10,137
Alright... Let's see.

175
00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:16,469
Bernie Bunny has Two Daddies Now.

176
00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:18,898
It's probably about homosexual rabbits.

177
00:10:21,136 --> 00:10:23,852
Jerry the Gerbil and the Bullies on the Bus.

178
00:10:24,611 --> 00:10:25,930
Read it, not helpful.

179
00:10:27,584 --> 00:10:29,910
Oh! Here we go.

180
00:10:30,602 --> 00:10:33,346
Stu the Cockatoo is New at the Zoo.

181
00:10:35,148 --> 00:10:42,498
Author Sarah Carpenter lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana, with her
husband and bestfriend Mark.

182
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:44,265
And their cockatoos too.

183
00:10:46,024 --> 00:10:48,950
Hardly makes her an expert in making friends, wouldn't you agree?

184
00:10:49,453 --> 00:10:51,409
I don't like birds, they scare me.

185
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:53,622
Me too!

186
00:10:55,348 --> 00:10:57,174
Most people don't see it.

187
00:11:00,382 --> 00:11:01,476
What are you reading?

188
00:11:01,501 --> 00:11:02,602
Curious George.

189
00:11:02,817 --> 00:11:04,581
Oh I do like monkeys!

190
00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:06,396
Curious George is a monkey.

191
00:11:06,937 --> 00:11:09,417
Somewhat anthropomorphized but yes.

192
00:11:11,072 --> 00:11:16,726
Say, maybe sometime you and I can go see
monkeys together. Would you like that?

193
00:11:16,872 --> 00:11:17,668
Okay.

194
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,473
Sheldon, what are you doing?

195
00:11:20,675 --> 00:11:22,788
I'm making friends with this little girl.

196
00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:23,637
What's your name?

197
00:11:23,843 --> 00:11:24,585
Rebecca.

198
00:11:24,761 --> 00:11:27,227
Hi Rebecca, I'm your new friend, Sheldon.

199
00:11:27,227 --> 00:11:27,960
No you're not, let's go.

200
00:11:29,842 --> 00:11:31,025
We were really hitting it off.

201
00:11:31,025 --> 00:11:32,484
Don't look up, there's cameras.

202
00:11:37,394 --> 00:11:42,251
I'm curious. In the "How Well Do You Know Sheldon" section,
what do you put for his favorite amino acid?

203
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,279
(Leonard and Howard at the same time)
Lysine.

204
00:11:45,308 --> 00:11:47,181
Damn it. I had Lysine and changed it.

205
00:11:48,088 --> 00:11:49,899
Oh good! You're just in time.

206
00:11:49,899 --> 00:11:53,178
I believe I've isolated the algorithm for making friends.

207
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:57,239
Sheldon, there is no algorithm for making friends!

208
00:11:57,239 --> 00:12:01,862
Hear him out. If he's really on to something,
we can open a booth at Comic-Con, make a fortune.

209
00:12:03,471 --> 00:12:06,418
See, my initial approach to Kripke,
had the same deficiencies

210
00:12:06,418 --> 00:12:09,458
as those that plagued Stu the Cockatoo, when he was new at the zoo.

211
00:12:11,635 --> 00:12:13,003
Stu the cockatoo?

212
00:12:13,222 --> 00:12:14,928
Yes, he's new at the zoo.

213
00:12:16,076 --> 00:12:21,213
It's a terrific book. I've distilled its essence into a
simple flowchart that would guide me through the process.

214
00:12:22,449 --> 00:12:25,947
Have you thought about putting him in a crate
while you're out of the apartment?

215
00:12:27,584 --> 00:12:30,110
Hello, Kripke. Sheldon Cooper here.

216
00:12:30,523 --> 00:12:33,317
It occurred to me you hadn't returned any of my calls

217
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:36,952
because I hadn't offered any concrete
suggestions for pursuing our friendship.

218
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,904
Perhaps the two of us might share a meal together...

219
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:43,647
I see.

220
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:47,211
Well then perhaps you'd have time for a hot beverage.

221
00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:50,593
Popular choices include tea, coffee, cocoa...

222
00:12:51,921 --> 00:12:52,512
I see.

223
00:12:52,512 --> 00:12:53,915
No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up yet.

224
00:12:54,835 --> 00:12:57,027
What about a recreational activity?

225
00:12:57,162 --> 00:12:59,437
I bet we share some common interests.

226
00:12:59,607 --> 00:13:01,528
Tell me an interest of yours.

227
00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:04,934
Really? On actual horses?

228
00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:09,468
Tell me another interest of yours.

229
00:13:10,395 --> 00:13:13,935
Oh no, I'm sorry, I have no desire to get
in the water until I absolutely have to.

230
00:13:14,824 --> 00:13:16,759
Tell me another interest of yours.

231
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,643
Uh-oh, he's stuck in an infinite loop.

232
00:13:18,643 --> 00:13:19,846
I can fix it.

233
00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:25,708
Mmhmm. Mmhmm. It's interesting.
But isn't ventriloquism, by definition, a solo activity?

234
00:13:26,409 --> 00:13:28,868
Yeah? Tell me another interest of yours.

235
00:13:29,853 --> 00:13:30,611
Hmmm.

236
00:13:31,193 --> 00:13:33,030
Is there any chance you like monkeys?

237
00:13:34,529 --> 00:13:37,293
What is wrong with you?
Everybody likes monkeys.

238
00:13:38,893 --> 00:13:40,012
Hang on, Kripke.

239
00:13:42,515 --> 00:13:47,046
A loop counter? And an escape to
the least objectionable activity!

240
00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:50,259
Howard, that's brilliant! I'm surprised you saw that.

241
00:13:52,727 --> 00:13:55,625
Gee. Why can't Sheldon make friends?

242
00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,024
Alright Kripke, that last interest strikes me
as the least objectionable

243
00:14:00,024 --> 00:14:03,253
and I would like to propose that we do that together.

244
00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:04,778
Tomorrow.

245
00:14:06,131 --> 00:14:07,131
Yes, I'll pay.

246
00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:09,219
Alright, goodbye.

247
00:14:10,305 --> 00:14:11,445
Alright!

248
00:14:12,464 --> 00:14:14,299
Time to learn rock climbing.

249
00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:25,672
You know, I am a fan of ventriloquism.

250
00:14:26,613 --> 00:14:29,439
Maybe you, me and your dummy
could go get a hot beverage.

251
00:14:30,146 --> 00:14:31,838
He could talk while you drink.

252
00:14:33,429 --> 00:14:34,755
No, I wanna climb some rocks.

253
00:14:40,818 --> 00:14:45,291
This appears significantly more...
monolithic than it did on my laptop.

254
00:14:46,908 --> 00:14:50,126
No one expects to see Hominids
learning to use bones as weapeons.

255
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:52,834
You afraid of heights, Cooper?

256
00:14:52,981 --> 00:14:55,549
Hardly. Fear of heights is illogical.

257
00:14:56,346 --> 00:14:59,200
Fear of falling, on the other hand,
is prudent and evolutionary.

258
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:05,143
What would you say is the minimum altitude
I need to achieve to cement our new-found friendship?

259
00:15:05,792 --> 00:15:08,780
Come on, they have birthday parties here.
Little kids climb this.

260
00:15:10,916 --> 00:15:13,038
Little kid Hominids, perhaps.

261
00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:18,365
Is this your entire job?

262
00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:21,124
Your parents must be so proud.

263
00:15:23,237 --> 00:15:24,307
Let's go, Cooper.

264
00:15:24,307 --> 00:15:25,480
Coming, Kripke.

265
00:15:26,449 --> 00:15:29,070
Okay. Harness seems to be secure.

266
00:15:30,873 --> 00:15:34,156
Small amount of incontinence just now,
but the website said that's to be expected.

267
00:15:36,416 --> 00:15:40,037
Hey, this isn't so bad.

268
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:42,847
I feel like vertical swimming.

269
00:15:45,102 --> 00:15:47,311
Hey, look at you, Cooper.
You're almost halfway to the top.

270
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,168
I am?

271
00:15:51,004 --> 00:15:54,382
I was wrong.
It IS a fear of heights.

272
00:15:55,108 --> 00:15:56,189
You alright there, Cooper?

273
00:15:56,304 --> 00:15:57,182
Not really.

274
00:15:57,517 --> 00:16:00,760
I feel somewhat like an inverse tangent function
that's approaching an asymptote.

275
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:02,630
Are you saying you're stuck?

276
00:16:02,891 --> 00:16:06,286
What part of an inverse tangent function
approaching an asymptote did you not understand?

277
00:16:06,885 --> 00:16:08,855
Understood all that. I'm not a moron.

278
00:16:09,286 --> 00:16:10,307
Just keep going.

279
00:16:11,295 --> 00:16:12,621
Yeah, I don't think I can.

280
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,386
Well, then. Climb back down.

281
00:16:15,588 --> 00:16:17,176
No, that doesn't seem any more likely.

282
00:16:18,323 --> 00:16:19,740
So what's the plan, Cooper?

283
00:16:20,508 --> 00:16:24,255
Well, it's not exactly a plan
but I think I'm going to pass out.

284
00:16:34,955 --> 00:16:37,144
I'm sorry. Can we please just do it one more time?

285
00:16:37,316 --> 00:16:38,513
Okay.

286
00:16:38,513 --> 00:16:41,092
1, 2, 1, 2, 3 and...

287
00:16:41,092 --> 00:16:50,221
(Whistling altogether)

288
00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:57,427
It's a little thing but you really do miss it.

289
00:16:59,062 --> 00:17:00,062
Hello, everyone.

290
00:17:00,182 --> 00:17:03,677
I brought my new friend, Barry Kripke, home for dinner.

291
00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:05,234
Oh...

292
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,434
Hello to you, too.

293
00:17:08,351 --> 00:17:09,351
How was rock climbing?

294
00:17:09,601 --> 00:17:13,246
He passed out.
Just hung there like a big salami.

295
00:17:16,073 --> 00:17:17,204
That's where I sit.

296
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:20,177
Ooh, you have a special spot.
What kind of wacko are you?

297
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,560
How much time you got?

298
00:17:24,712 --> 00:17:26,196
Want some Chinese food?

299
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,282
Terrific. Got any dental floss?

300
00:17:29,401 --> 00:17:30,401
In the bathroom.

301
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:31,614
Be right back.

302
00:17:32,064 --> 00:17:35,516
I gotta floss the Indian food out of my teeth
if I'm gonna eat Chinese.

303
00:17:38,065 --> 00:17:39,296
Sheldon, are you okay?

304
00:17:39,439 --> 00:17:41,414
Oh yes, I pass out all the time.

305
00:17:41,566 --> 00:17:43,985
But, it was worth it.

306
00:17:43,985 --> 00:17:49,425
I've made substantial progress in bonding
with Kripke, which brings me to an awkward moment.

307
00:17:49,439 --> 00:17:50,029
What's that?

308
00:17:50,358 --> 00:17:54,882
Maintaining five friendships promises
to be a Herculean task. So...

309
00:17:55,917 --> 00:17:57,940
I'm going to have to let one of you go.

310
00:18:00,752 --> 00:18:02,523
Me, me. Let it be me.

311
00:18:04,713 --> 00:18:08,790
Leonard, you are my roommate, my source of transportation

312
00:18:08,790 --> 00:18:12,103
and you help me fold my sheets
when they come out of the dryer.

313
00:18:13,282 --> 00:18:14,403
You are safe.

314
00:18:16,287 --> 00:18:16,875
Can I whistle?

315
00:18:16,875 --> 00:18:17,801
Don't be silly.

316
00:18:19,144 --> 00:18:22,104
Howard, you do not have a PhD.

317
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:25,496
Your cologne is an assault on the senses

318
00:18:25,496 --> 00:18:29,694
and you're not available for video games
during the Jewish high holidays.

319
00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:32,059
Guilty as charged. I'm out.

320
00:18:32,381 --> 00:18:35,095
No. You, too, are safe.

321
00:18:35,492 --> 00:18:38,447
Oh come on. What do I have to do?

322
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:41,758
Okay. You know what? I see where this is going.

323
00:18:41,758 --> 00:18:44,264
I'm not one of you guys. I'm not a scientist.
So just-

324
00:18:44,264 --> 00:18:48,035
Penny, Penny, Penny. Everything you're saying is true,
but please allow me to continue.

325
00:18:48,339 --> 00:18:50,623
Raj, you're out.

326
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:56,850
The good question.

327
00:18:57,863 --> 00:19:01,724
While you do provide a certain cultural diversity
to an otherwise homogenous group,

328
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,886
your responses to the questionnaire were truly disturbing.

329
00:19:04,907 --> 00:19:08,543
How could you, for a moment,
think that my favorite amino acid is Glutamine?

330
00:19:11,201 --> 00:19:12,963
He had Lysine but changed it.

331
00:19:12,963 --> 00:19:14,942
Yeah. Shoulda, woulda coulda, Raj.

332
00:19:18,644 --> 00:19:22,676
I like to floss before I eat.
So my gum pockets are open for new food.

333
00:19:24,532 --> 00:19:25,396
Eww.

334
00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:30,223
Hello.

335
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,916
How did I walk past you?

336
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:34,189
I'm Barry.

337
00:19:34,927 --> 00:19:35,590
Penny.

338
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,510
Yeah, it's not a very hot name.

339
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,854
I'm gonna call your Roxanne.

340
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,350
Suddenly I'm looking pretty good, huh?

341
00:19:51,103 --> 00:19:54,282
So uh, Kripke, I was wondering if there's any chance

342
00:19:54,282 --> 00:19:57,686
you could get me some time on the open science grid computer.

343
00:19:57,752 --> 00:19:58,309
No.

344
00:19:59,539 --> 00:20:02,056
No? But we're friends!

345
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,919
I'm sorry.
No, my friend?

346
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:12,596
I'm confused. I was given an understanding that
you allow your friends time on the machine?

347
00:20:13,023 --> 00:20:16,588
No, that's wrong. There's an official schedule.
I have no control over it.

348
00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:24,226
Oh. This entire endeavor seems
to have been an exercise in futility.

349
00:20:25,949 --> 00:20:27,308
Raj, you're back in.

350
00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:32,063
He likes monkeys.

351
00:20:36,795 --> 00:20:39,194
You gotta give him credit for sticking with it.

352
00:20:40,426 --> 00:20:41,949
I didn't think he had it in him.

353
00:20:43,187 --> 00:20:45,303
He almost made it to the top this time.

354
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:53,712
The Big Bang Theory S02E13
The Friendship Algorithm
Subtitled by blued888
www.eclecticelectronics.net