1
00:00:00,850 --> 00:00:03,080
Okay, Raj.
2
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:06,110
Hand me the #6 Torx screwdriver.
3
00:00:07,370 --> 00:00:09,200
Stop.
4
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,040
We can't do this. It's not right.
5
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,020
Sheldon, you have two choices.
6
00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:14,910
ther you let him put a
bigger hard drive in the TiVo,
7
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,980
or you delete stuff
before we go out of town.
8
00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:20,550
But once you open the box,
you've voided the warranty.
9
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:24,540
The warranty is a sacred covenant we've
entered into with the manufacturer.
10
00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:27,510
He offers to stand by his
equipment, and we in return
11
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,130
agree not to violate the
integrity of the internal hardware.
12
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:35,290
This little orange sticker is all
that stands between us and anarchy.
13
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,470
Okay, then we won't
touch the hard drive.
14
00:00:38,510 --> 00:00:40,640
We'll just erase the
first season of Battlestar.
15
00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:45,400
There. We're outlaws.
16
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:48,480
Here you go, Leonard. Is
this going to be big enough?
17
00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:50,310
It's perfect.
18
00:00:52,900 --> 00:00:56,660
For taking daffodils to your unicorn.
19
00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:59,540
It's just for my
notebooks. Thanks, Penny.
20
00:00:59,550 --> 00:01:02,310
I love San Francisco. I
wish I was going with you.
21
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,860
I understand your envy.
Thiss a can't-miss symposium.
22
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:09,760
There are going to be discussions on
bioorganic cellular computer devices,
23
00:01:09,790 --> 00:01:12,380
the advancements in
multi-threaded task completion,
24
00:01:12,430 --> 00:01:15,940
plus a roundtable on the
nonequilibrium Green's function approach
25
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:18,750
to the photoionization process in atoms.
26
00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:23,020
When I go, I usually just get
hammered and ride the cable cars.
27
00:01:23,570 --> 00:01:25,310
This conference is kind of a big thing.
28
00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:28,110
The keynote address is being
delivered by George Smoot.
29
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,410
Oh, my God, the George Smoot?
30
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:33,020
- You've heard of him?
- Of course I haven't.
31
00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:39,260
George Smoot is a Nobel Prize-winning
physicist, one of the great minds of our time.
32
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:43,850
His work in black body form and anisotropy
of the cosmic microwave background radiation
33
00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:47,340
cemented our understanding
of the origin of the universe.
34
00:01:47,370 --> 00:01:51,000
It's kind of a funny
name, though-- "Smoot."
35
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,980
It's like talking to a chimp.
36
00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:00,540
Okay, now that I've been completely
insulted, have a good flight.
37
00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:01,420
Yeah, I wish.
38
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:03,840
We're not flying.
We're taking the train.
39
00:02:03,850 --> 00:02:05,180
Oh, cool.
40
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:10,480
Yeah, cool. Seven times as long as
flying, and costs almost twice as much.
41
00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:12,670
Well, then why are you doing it?
42
00:02:12,710 --> 00:02:15,270
Well, we had a vote. Three
of us voted for airplane.
43
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,990
Sheldon voted for train.
So we're taking the trn.
44
00:02:20,030 --> 00:02:21,280
Don't say it like that, Leonard.
45
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,360
Say it like: We're taking the train!
46
00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:33,510
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
proudly presents
47
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:42,040
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
48
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:46,790
The Big Bang
Theory Season02 Episode17
49
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:53,860
Hey, we're all going over to the Apple store
to make fun of the guys at the Genius Bar.
50
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:55,610
You want to come?
51
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:59,260
Oh, I always enjoy that,
but I'm a little busy.
52
00:02:59,290 --> 00:02:59,980
What are you doing?
53
00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:02,880
I'm simplifying the task
of packing for our trip.
54
00:03:02,910 --> 00:03:06,840
See, by attaching RFID tags to my
clothing, it will able my laptop
55
00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:09,500
to read and identify
the items with this wand.
56
00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:13,170
I will then cross-reference them against
destination, anticipated activity spectrum,
57
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,010
weather conditions,
duration of trip, et cetera.
58
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,290
Well, that does sound much simpler.
59
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,710
How long is this going to take?
60
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,510
Assuming I can keep up this
pace, three hours, 11 minutes,
61
00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:31,410
and plus however long tak to conclude
this fairly pointless conversation.
62
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,380
Teasing the guys at the Apple
store seems a little redundant now.
63
00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:40,430
- I don't follow.
- I wouldn't expect you to. I'll see you later.
64
00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:49,330
Socks:one pair, cotton, argyle, blue.
65
00:03:53,470 --> 00:03:58,420
Socks: one pair, cotton, argyle, blue.
66
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,550
What on earth are you doing?
67
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,530
Whatever it is, I'm guessing
we're doing it wrong.
68
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:12,240
Gentlemen, this is the Coast Starlight,
69
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:17,140
one of the great American trains operating
on one of the classic American routes.
70
00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:22,760
On this side, you'll see panoramic ocean vistas
inaccessible to any other form of transportation,
71
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:27,250
while on your side, you'll be
treated to 350 miles of CostCos,
72
00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:30,790
Jiffy Lubes, and cinderblock
homes with above-ground pools.
73
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,350
Come on, Raj.
74
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,270
What's wrong with Jiffy Lubes?
75
00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:38,910
No.
76
00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:41,900
- Why not?
- That's over the wheelbase.
77
00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:45,170
Are you completely unfamiliar
with the suspension characteristics
78
00:04:45,180 --> 00:04:48,990
of a pre-1980 Pullman-built
Superliner Deluxe passenger coach?
79
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,520
Sheldon, we've been on
this train 90 seconds,
80
00:04:51,570 --> 00:04:54,080
and you've already
said a thousand words.
81
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,000
Just tell us where to sit and shut up.
82
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,510
Here.
83
00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:06,600
I'm hoping once you reap the endorphic rewards of the
steady clickety-clack of steel wheels on polished rails,
84
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,840
your sour disposition will abate.
85
00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:09,970
Yeah, maybe.
86
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,220
Meanwhil back in the 21st century,
people are raising their tray tables
87
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:17,880
and putting their seat-backs in an upright
position 'cause it's time to land in San Francisco.
88
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,130
It's not so bad, really.
89
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,910
At least these trains
have modern plumbing.
90
00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:25,610
In India, you squat over a hole in the
train and expose your naked buttocks
91
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:28,250
to the chilly air of Rajasthan.
92
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:33,410
He is referring, of course, to third class on
Indian Railways' magnificent Ranakpur Express
93
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:37,950
and its 1,200-kilometer journey from
Maharashtra to the Bikaner Junction.
94
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:41,300
Oh, look, now he's boring
on an international scale.
95
00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:44,900
Holy crap! Look!
96
00:05:46,810 --> 00:05:48,310
Is that who I think it is?
97
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:51,610
It can't be. What would Summer
Glau be doing riding the train?
98
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:55,640
Maybe John Connor's aboard and she's
protecting him from an evil Terminator.
99
00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:59,340
Unlikely. That's a
television show, Leonard.
100
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,300
Thank you.
101
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:03,670
Of course, if SkyNet actually
did exist in the future,
102
00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:08,140
a perfect way to infiltrate and destroy
mankind would be to send Terminators back posing
103
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:11,660
as actors who have played Terminators
in popular films and television series,
104
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,290
lulling us into a false
sense of security, i.e.,
105
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:16,700
"That's Summer Glau "from
The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
106
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:20,800
No, Summer, don't kill
me!" I'm pro-robot! Ahh!"
107
00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:25,370
At least he's off the train crap.
108
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:28,820
Whee!
109
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,830
Sheldon, I owe you an apology.
110
00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:33,710
Taking the train was
a stroke of brilliance!
111
00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:35,900
I've actually got a
shot at a Terminator.
112
00:06:35,940 --> 00:06:37,910
Oh, please.When it comes to Terminators,
113
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,320
you've got a better shot of
scoring with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
114
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,300
You're overlooking something.
115
00:06:44,340 --> 00:06:48,760
I have 11 hours with
her in a confined space.
116
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:53,570
Unless she's willing to jump off a moving
train, tuck and roll down the side of a hill,
117
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:59,950
she will eventually succumb to the
acquired taste that is ward Wolowitz.
118
00:07:02,730 --> 00:07:04,970
My money's on tuck and roll.
119
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:06,960
I'm confused.
120
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,150
I thought you were involved in some sort of
socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle.
121
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,610
- Sheldon, let me explain to you how this works.
- All right.
122
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:19,030
- That's Summer Glau.
- Yes.
123
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,890
That's it.
124
00:07:21,570 --> 00:07:24,190
Hang on a sec. Why do you
get first crack at her?
125
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,910
Um, well, let's see, couple
reasons. One, I saw her first.
126
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,880
No, you didn't. I did.
127
00:07:29,890 --> 00:07:32,800
Fair enough. But... then,
let me move on to #2.
128
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:36,440
Unlike you, I can actually
talk to women when I'm sober.
129
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:40,920
You fail to take into account that
even mute, I am foreign and exotic,
130
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:44,530
while you, on the other
hand, are frail and pasty.
131
00:07:45,890 --> 00:07:51,090
Well, you know the old saying,
Pasty and frail never fail.
132
00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,870
Excuse me, but what about me?
133
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,510
Why don't I get a shot?
134
00:07:57,550 --> 00:08:00,630
Fine, go ahead. Take a shot.
135
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,100
You know, I've already got a gorgeous
blonde back home at I can't score with.
136
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:07,530
I think I'll let you two take this one.
137
00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:09,700
Sheldon, is there a place
on this train to get alcohol?
138
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,240
Interesting that you ask.
139
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:14,930
The Coast Starlight recently added
the refurbished Pacific Parlour Car.
140
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:18,400
Built in 1956 and originally
known as the Santa Fe Lounge Car,
141
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,530
- the lower level is a theater and
the upper level - Yeah-yeah, which way?
142
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:24,070
is a bar that offers wine tastings
if you're going as far as Portland.
143
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:27,200
So aren't you going to go talk to her?
144
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,910
I will, I'm just working
on my opening line.
145
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:32,070
She's probably heard every
possible line, Howard.
146
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,530
Why don't you just try "hello"?
147
00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:36,180
No, no, no, that
always creeps girls out.
148
00:08:36,790 --> 00:08:41,630
I need to come up with something that's
funny, smart and delicately suggests
149
00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:45,800
that my sexual endowment is
disproportionate to my physical stature.
150
00:08:46,450 --> 00:08:49,020
You're going to need more than 11 hours.
151
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,180
Oh, no.
152
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:52,320
What's the matter?
153
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,020
I forgot my flash drive.
154
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:56,670
- So?
- So we have to go back.
155
00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:02,720
Okay, Sheldon, I'm going to say "why" and your
answer cannot be because I forgot my flash drive.
156
00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:04,470
You don't understand.
157
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:09,220
My flash drive has my paper on astrophysical
probes of M-theory effects in the early universe
158
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:11,910
that I was going to give to
George Smoot at the conference.
159
00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:15,170
Why do you have to give
your paper to George Smoot?
160
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,170
It's brilliant. He needs to read it.
161
00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:21,020
So you'll send him an
e-mail when we get back.
162
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,420
Then I won't get to see his
face light up as he reads it.
163
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,420
Right. Of course.
164
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:27,570
Oh, this is an unmitigated disaster.
165
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,260
Well, there's nothing you
can do about it, so relax.
166
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:35,500
Sit back, enjoy the clickety-clack of
the steel wheels on the polished rails.
167
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:44,580
You forgot your flash drive
168
00:09:44,590 --> 00:09:46,810
You forgot your flash drive
169
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:50,060
Only ten hours, 55 minutes to go.
170
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,520
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
171
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:17,780
So... where you gals headed?
172
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,660
Okay, I've found the perfect solution.
173
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:23,070
We get off the train at
the next stop in Oxnard.
174
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:26,420
We then take the 1:13
train back to Union Station.
175
00:10:26,470 --> 00:10:31,230
We take a cab back to the apartment, get my
flash drive, and then race to San Luis Obispo,
176
00:10:31,290 --> 00:10:34,730
where, assuming the lights are with us
and minimal traffic, we'll meet the train.
177
00:10:34,740 --> 00:10:36,020
I've got a better idea.
178
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,410
Are you going to be sarcastic?
179
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,380
Boy, you take all the
fun out of it for me.
180
00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:44,600
Look, Penny's home. Why don't we just
call her, have her go in the apartment,
181
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,750
get your flash drive
and e-mail you the paper?
182
00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:50,020
- But the flash drive is in a locked drawer in my desk.
- So?
183
00:10:50,030 --> 00:10:52,210
- The key is hidden in my room.
- So?
184
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:54,140
- Penny would have to go into my room.
- So?
185
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:57,040
People don't go in my room!
186
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:02,590
I see. Well, it seems once again, you're
caught between a rock and a crazy place.
187
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,450
Oh, I te when that happens.
188
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:10,240
It's hot in here. It must be Summer.
189
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,660
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
190
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,720
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
191
00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:16,910
It's hot in here. Must be Summer.
192
00:11:17,830 --> 00:11:21,310
- That's cute.
- Really? I just made it up.
193
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,590
Have you seen Slumdog Millionaire?
194
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:26,830
Oh, yeah, I loved it.
195
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:29,310
It's loosely based on my life.
196
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:36,520
Yeah, we're putting the play on for one night
in this little 99-seat theater. Can you come?
197
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,870
Oh, great.
198
00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:40,890
Do you know 98 other people
that might want to come?
199
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:42,630
Oh, hang on.
200
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,480
- Hello?
- Listen carefully.
201
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:48,270
I'm about to give you a set of instructions,
which you must follow to the letter.
202
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,810
Just a sec.
203
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:52,420
The theater is above a bowling
alley, so it's a little noisy,
204
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:56,230
but it might be the only chance
I'll ever get to play Anne Frank.
205
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:58,780
And the director is brilliant.
206
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:02,230
He uses the bowling sounds
as, like, Nazi artillery.
207
00:12:02,540 --> 00:12:05,100
Okay, great, I'll see you then. Hello?
208
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:07,690
Okay, step four.
209
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,550
Do you see that small
plastic case on my dresser?
210
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:13,690
Your dresser? Who is this?
211
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,760
It's Sheldon.
212
00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:17,800
Oh, hey, Sheldon! How is San Francisco?
213
00:12:17,810 --> 00:12:21,570
I'm not in San Francisco. I'm on a
train. Were you even listening to me?
214
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:23,950
Uh, no, I was talking to
my friend, but what's up?
215
00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:25,860
What's up? I'll tell you what's up.
216
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,890
I'm in a crisis situation, and I need you
to marshal your powers of concentration,
217
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,770
- limited as they may be...
- Give me the phone.
218
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:35,910
Hi, Penny. It's Leonard.
219
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,090
Hey, Leonard. What's
going on with Dr. Wkadood?
220
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,930
He's calling to ask you a favor.
221
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:46,790
You might be confused because he didn't use the
words, Penny, "Sheldon," "please" or "favor."
222
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,720
Okay. Enough chitchat.
223
00:12:49,730 --> 00:12:53,220
Okay, step one. Locate your
emergency key to our apartment.
224
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:58,610
Step two: enter our
apartment. Step three:...
225
00:12:58,620 --> 00:13:01,490
Enter my broom.
226
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,610
- Oh, hang on, Sheldon, getting another call.
- No!
227
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:09,210
Leonard, let me tell you something.
Personal robots cannot get here soon enough.
228
00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:15,780
And that bright little star
peeking her head out early today...
229
00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:17,940
that's Venus.
230
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:20,050
That is so cool.
231
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,840
You really know a lot about space.
232
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:27,600
Come on. When you were on TV in
Firefly, you were actually in space.
233
00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:31,160
You're not one of those guys
who really believe that, are you?
234
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,520
You mean one of the hopeless geeks? No.
235
00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:37,250
Those are crazy people.
236
00:13:39,030 --> 00:13:42,890
Howard, be a dear and get
me another one of these.
237
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,640
Now, him, he's one of those geeks.
238
00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:54,630
All right, now, before you
enter my bedroom unescorted,
239
00:13:54,680 --> 00:14:00,740
I need you to understand that this onetime grant
of access does not create a permanent easement.
240
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:04,360
Easement.
241
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,140
It's a legal right
of access. Good grief.
242
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:12,480
What? No, don't put me on hold.
243
00:14:14,690 --> 00:14:16,330
Do you believe him?
244
00:14:16,370 --> 00:14:20,660
Normally around women, he has the
personality of a boiled potato.
245
00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:24,920
Put one beer in him, and
he's M. Night Charmalarmalon.
246
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:30,160
Is that what he's drinking?
It's not even real beer.
247
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:34,210
- What? - Look at it.
Non-alcoholic beer.
248
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:38,050
- What's going on?
- I don't know.
249
00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:41,230
Some sort of placebo effect, I guess.
250
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:45,600
Placebo, you say. Interesting.
251
00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:48,500
Yes, I'm still here. Where
am I going? I'm on a train.
252
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:54,250
Now, what you'll be looking for is a small
wooden box located between a Hoberman's sphere
253
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,680
and a sample of quartz
flecked with pyrite.
254
00:14:57,710 --> 00:14:59,460
Hoberman's Sphere.
255
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,580
It's collapsible icosidodecahedron.
256
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:07,290
No, the thing with the time
on it is my alarm clock.
257
00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:13,200
Actually, in India, the names
of constellations are different.
258
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:17,710
Where you have the Big Dipper,
we have the Big Curry Pot.
259
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,390
You're making that up.
260
00:15:20,410 --> 00:15:22,250
You got me.
261
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:24,780
Now what are you going to do with me?
262
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,060
- Raj.
- Yes?
263
00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:31,970
- Look.
- What am I looking at?
264
00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:33,500
You tell me.
265
00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:36,140
Non-alcoholic beer.
266
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,690
I'm the small package
good things come in.
267
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:53,330
Okay, I got a box, but
there's no key in here.
268
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,350
Just letters.
269
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,180
That's the wrg box. Put it back.
270
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:58,950
Oh, Sheldon, are these
letters from your grandmother?
271
00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,630
Don't read those letters!
272
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:03,900
Oh, look, she calls you
"Moon Pie." That is so cute.
273
00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:06,510
Put down the letters!
274
00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:10,730
Hey, Penny. It's Leonard.
275
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:12,390
Hey, Leonard. How's the train ride?
276
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,860
Delightful.
277
00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:16,300
Listen, I don't know what
you're doing right now,
278
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:19,730
but there are little bubbles forming
on the corners of Sheldon's mouth.
279
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:22,540
Okay, yeah, I kind of crossed
a line. Put him back on.
280
00:16:22,550 --> 00:16:24,360
Thank you.
281
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,860
- I'm back.
- What up, Moon Pie?
282
00:16:28,740 --> 00:16:31,960
Nobody calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw!
283
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,170
Hey, Penny. Leonard again.
284
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:41,370
So anyway, in the dream, you and I
were ice skating, just the two of us.
285
00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:45,760
And then, I picked you up by your
ankles and twirled you round and round
286
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:48,650
until your legs tore off.
287
00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:53,890
I tried to stick them back
on, but before I could,
288
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:58,350
you turned into a giant
loaf of pumpernickel bread.
289
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,560
What do you think that means?
290
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:04,400
I really don't know.
291
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:07,540
I'll give you a little
clue. My favorite sandwich?
292
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:10,240
Salami on pumpernickel.
293
00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:13,250
Is that so?
294
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:16,870
And did you know the word "pumpernickel" comes
from the German words "pumper" and "nickel,"
295
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:19,550
which loosely translates
to "fart goblin"?
296
00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:24,370
No. I didn't.
297
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,090
Okay, I found the box. Now what?
298
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:34,910
You're holding a Japanese puzzle box,
which takes ten precise moves to open.
299
00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:38,190
First, locate the panel
with the diamond pattern
300
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:42,190
and slide the center portion
one millimeter to the left.
301
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:47,620
Then, on the opposite end of the box,
slide the entire panel down two millimeters.
302
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:49,960
- You'll hear a slight click.
- Hang on.
303
00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:53,380
Sheldon, do you have any
emotional attachment to this box?
304
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:57,030
No, it's a velty I ordered off the
Internet. Did you hear the click?
305
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,630
Not yet.
306
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,390
There it is.
307
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,920
Okay, here's another one.
308
00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:14,880
If you married the famous rock guitarist
Johnny Winter, you'd be Summer Winter.
309
00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:19,530
Yep.
310
00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:23,830
Okay, I'm going to just go for
broke here and say I like you.
311
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:26,190
Yeah?
312
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:30,850
So here's my question: do you
realistically see any conversational path
313
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:33,000
that would take me from where
we are right now to a place
314
00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:35,700
where I could ask you
out and you'd say yes?
315
00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:39,000
No.
316
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:42,960
Fair enough. I'll leave you in peace.
317
00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:44,980
Thank you.
318
00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:50,040
But before I go,
319
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:54,820
would you mind if I just take one picture
of us together for my Facebook page?
320
00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:56,450
Sure.
321
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:09,460
Okay. Great. Now, can I take one
where it looks like we're making out?
322
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:17,320
Okay, now you're going to insert
the flash drive into the USB port...
323
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:26,030
She calls me Moon Pie because I'm
nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.
324
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:32,010
Now, please put the flash
drive in the USB port.
325
00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:37,210
The one that looks like
a little duck's mouth.
326
00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:40,260
Hey, how'd it go?
327
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:43,160
Terminator broke my phone.
328
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,270
Excuse me.
329
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:52,940
Okay, I'll be honest with you.
330
00:19:52,970 --> 00:19:56,410
I've just spent the last two hours
imagining various scenarios in my head,
331
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,810
trying to come up with some
clever line to say to you.
332
00:19:58,850 --> 00:20:02,680
But then I finally realized you're
a human being; I'm a human being.
333
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,920
- I could just say to you...
- Next stop: Santa Barbara.
334
00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:07,120
I'm sorry. This is me.
335
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,700
Hi, my name's Leonard.
336
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:18,330
So, I'm thinking, you won the
Nobel Prize what, three years ago?
337
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:22,040
So you must deal with a whole lot
of "What has Smoot done lately?"
338
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:26,520
My thought is we continue
my research as aeam--
339
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,760
you know, Cooper-Smoot,
alphabetical--
340
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:33,400
and when we win the Nobel
Prize, you'll be back on top.
341
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:37,190
With all due respect, Dr.
Cooper, are you on crack?
342
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,960
Fine! Smoot-Cooper.
343
00:20:42,970 --> 00:20:45,660
Wow, what a diva.