1
00:00:01,257 --> 00:00:03,393
Are you from the Star Wars universe?
2
00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:06,589
- Were you in the original trilogy?
- Yes.
3
00:00:07,168 --> 00:00:10,818
{\pos(192,220)}Is there a picture of you
in my wallet wearing a metal bikini?
4
00:00:12,375 --> 00:00:13,675
God, I hope not.
5
00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:16,724
And no, I'm not Princess Leia.
6
00:00:16,893 --> 00:00:18,093
Okay. My turn.
7
00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:20,645
Are you in all six Star Wars movies?
8
00:00:20,813 --> 00:00:22,229
- Yes.
- Interesting.
9
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,630
Are you a droid?
10
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:27,459
Do you kind of look like
a shiny Sheldon?
11
00:00:31,384 --> 00:00:33,034
- C-3PO.
- You got it.
12
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,958
{\pos(192,200)}That's preposterous.
13
00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:37,981
{\pos(192,200)}I do not resemble C-3PO.
14
00:00:38,531 --> 00:00:41,831
Don't get me wrong.
I'm flattered. I just don't see it.
15
00:00:47,153 --> 00:00:48,377
Leslie Winkle.
16
00:00:49,073 --> 00:00:51,573
{\pos(192,220)}You've reached
"Friends with Benefits."
17
00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:54,533
For a booty call, press one now.
18
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,684
{\pos(192,220)}What exactly does
that expression mean,
19
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,350
{\pos(192,220)}"friends with benefits"?
20
00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:04,125
{\pos(192,220)}Does he provide her
with health insurance?
21
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:10,349
Imagine you maintained a friendship
with someone you had sex with,
22
00:01:10,474 --> 00:01:13,197
but you were free to date
whoever you wanted.
23
00:01:14,398 --> 00:01:16,701
I'm sorry.
I can't imagine any of that.
24
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,955
- All right. Back to the game.
- I believe it's my turn.
25
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,374
You may begin your questions
whenever you're ready.
26
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,734
Are you Spock?
27
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,106
I don't like this game.
28
00:01:32,902 --> 00:01:34,468
So, where were we?
29
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,482
Aren't you leaving
for your booty call?
30
00:01:36,607 --> 00:01:38,045
No, it was something else.
31
00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:40,953
Why does everything have to be
about sex with you? Come on.
32
00:01:41,078 --> 00:01:42,142
Whose turn is it?
33
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,689
- We were up to you.
- Great. Just start.
34
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:48,649
Let's see. Are you from a TV series?
35
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,017
She dumped me!
36
00:01:53,649 --> 00:01:57,032
I bet he's someone from Babylon 5.
We're never going to get it.
37
00:02:17,982 --> 00:02:19,632
Subtitles: The FWT Team
38
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,600
What happened?
Why did she dump you?
39
00:02:23,149 --> 00:02:26,799
{\pos(192,220)}I don't know. She just said,
"Howard, Mama's a rolling stone."
40
00:02:29,986 --> 00:02:32,836
{\pos(192,220)}Then her call waiting beeped
and she was gone.
41
00:02:35,116 --> 00:02:36,554
I don't understand.
42
00:02:36,679 --> 00:02:39,329
If you were
in a non-emotional relationship,
43
00:02:39,454 --> 00:02:43,158
then why are you having what appears
to be an emotional response?
44
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,581
He obviously had feelings for her.
45
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:49,850
{\pos(192,200)}Of course I had feelings for her.
I saw her naked, for God's sake.
46
00:02:51,528 --> 00:02:53,506
{\pos(192,200)}Okay, you just need
to get your mind off it.
47
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,576
{\pos(192,200)}Do you want to go
to the comic book store?
48
00:02:55,701 --> 00:02:58,636
{\pos(192,200)}- Maybe go see a movie?
- I don't want to go anywhere.
49
00:02:59,202 --> 00:03:00,202
{\pos(192,200)}You know,
50
00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:04,151
{\pos(192,200)}I'm given to understand
that there's an entire city in Nevada
51
00:03:04,276 --> 00:03:08,212
{\pos(192,200)}designed specifically to help people
like Howard forget their problems.
52
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,566
They can replace them
with new problems,
53
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:16,112
{\pos(192,200)}such as alcoholism, gambling addiction,
and sexually transmitted diseases.
54
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:22,329
{\pos(192,200)}Is it me, or was that
Sheldon's way of saying, "Vegas, baby!"?
55
00:03:24,898 --> 00:03:27,498
{\pos(192,200)}- I've never been there. Have you?
- Me? No.
56
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:30,593
{\pos(192,200)}I just got "Vegas, baby!"
from Vince Vaughn in Swingers.
57
00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:35,990
{\pos(192,200)}It could be fun.
{\I know }My weekend's wide open, now that...
58
00:03:39,498 --> 00:03:42,269
Okay, let's do this.
Let's go to Las Vegas.
59
00:03:42,394 --> 00:03:43,836
Now? Right now?
60
00:03:43,961 --> 00:03:46,316
{\a6}Why not? People do things "right now,"
all the time.
61
00:03:46,441 --> 00:03:48,415
{\a6}Why can't we be
"right now" people, too?
62
00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:51,740
Go home, pack a bag,
and we'll be "right now" people.
63
00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:54,217
I have to stop at the drug store
to refill a prescription,
64
00:03:54,342 --> 00:03:56,515
but after that, we'll go right now.
65
00:03:57,392 --> 00:03:58,953
What do you say, Howard?
66
00:03:59,078 --> 00:04:00,078
{\pos(192,200)}I say...
67
00:04:00,328 --> 00:04:01,566
{\pos(192,200)}"Vegas, baby!"
68
00:04:02,564 --> 00:04:06,064
- What are you gonna tell your mother?
- "Sea World, baby!"
69
00:04:10,715 --> 00:04:13,880
- Are you coming?
- I'd rather have a blowfly lay eggs
70
00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:16,455
and hatch larvae
in my auditory canal.
71
00:04:19,172 --> 00:04:21,010
Great.
We'll bring you back a t-shirt.
72
00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:26,015
Thank you.
73
00:04:27,612 --> 00:04:28,912
Hello, neighbor.
74
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,352
Hello, Sheldon.
75
00:04:31,406 --> 00:04:33,606
And how are you this fine evening?
76
00:04:33,865 --> 00:04:36,121
- Great.
- Good. I'm glad.
77
00:04:36,947 --> 00:04:38,597
Really?
Are you drunk?
78
00:04:39,672 --> 00:04:41,313
I'm just in a good mood.
79
00:04:41,438 --> 00:04:43,691
While my compatriots
are in Las Vegas,
80
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:47,720
I will be enjoying a blissful evening
in my personal Fortress of Solitude.
81
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,968
That's Superman's
big ice thingy, right?
82
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,511
You know, I'm in such a good mood,
83
00:04:53,636 --> 00:04:56,273
I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp
of the English language
84
00:04:56,398 --> 00:04:58,181
folksy and charming today.
85
00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:02,357
What smells so good?
86
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:06,006
That is the intoxicating
aroma of Kadhai Paneer,
87
00:05:06,391 --> 00:05:09,679
a perfect culinary representation
of the freedom this evening holds.
88
00:05:09,804 --> 00:05:13,118
Not only is it Indian cuisine,
which Koothrappali loathes,
89
00:05:13,243 --> 00:05:15,181
it contains
a generous helping of peanuts,
90
00:05:15,306 --> 00:05:18,734
which would reduce Wolowitz
to a wheezing 97-pound blister.
91
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,554
And finally,
its main ingredient is paneer,
92
00:05:23,679 --> 00:05:25,068
a farmer's cheese
93
00:05:25,193 --> 00:05:28,980
that would cause Leonard to render
any room uninhabitable within minutes.
94
00:05:32,178 --> 00:05:33,231
Yum.
95
00:05:34,775 --> 00:05:36,725
Well, enjoy your big evening.
96
00:05:38,131 --> 00:05:40,460
I realize you're also
on your own tonight,
97
00:05:40,585 --> 00:05:43,401
so if, at some point, you find
yourself with nothing to do,
98
00:05:43,526 --> 00:05:45,260
please do not disturb me.
99
00:05:46,853 --> 00:05:48,097
Have fun, Sheldon.
100
00:05:48,386 --> 00:05:49,416
I shall.
101
00:06:05,109 --> 00:06:08,450
What's wrong, Superman?
Locked out of your big ice thingy?
102
00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:20,586
Look at this.
Mouthwash, lotion, body wash.
103
00:06:20,711 --> 00:06:24,310
Shampoo and conditioner
together in one tiny bottle.
104
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:26,760
I love Las Vegas.
105
00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:30,388
Howard, could I borrow
some aftershave?
106
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,141
Black case, top compartment.
107
00:06:38,393 --> 00:06:40,087
That's a lot of cologne.
108
00:06:40,212 --> 00:06:42,943
First row are your musks.
Second is woods,
109
00:06:43,276 --> 00:06:44,887
leathers and botanicals.
110
00:06:45,012 --> 00:06:47,727
Third is assorted pheromones.
Tread lightly.
111
00:06:54,990 --> 00:06:56,790
That's the spirit, Howard.
112
00:06:58,173 --> 00:06:59,444
Yes, we can.
113
00:07:03,219 --> 00:07:04,236
Let's go.
114
00:07:04,361 --> 00:07:07,561
You guys go ahead.
I just have to finish up an email.
115
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:11,072
That's not an email.
That's Leslie's Facebook page.
116
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,055
Okay, fine.
117
00:07:12,225 --> 00:07:14,665
I'm checking her Facebook page.
Look at her status update.
118
00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:17,394
She's saying she dumped me.
People need to know I dumped her.
119
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:19,938
But she did dump you.
120
00:07:21,286 --> 00:07:24,686
Grow up, Raj. There's no place
for truth on the Internet.
121
00:07:27,393 --> 00:07:29,402
Just go.
I'll catch up with you.
122
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:30,865
All right.
123
00:07:31,765 --> 00:07:34,328
We should have a plan
in case one of us gets lucky.
124
00:07:37,555 --> 00:07:39,725
Okay, if I get lucky,
125
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:43,212
I'll take her to my stately manor
outside Gotham City, and...
126
00:07:44,085 --> 00:07:46,685
if you get lucky,
I'll sleep on the moon.
127
00:07:48,297 --> 00:07:49,747
Sounds like a plan.
128
00:07:51,845 --> 00:07:54,723
Hang on. I think the emergency key
is around here somewhere.
129
00:07:55,294 --> 00:07:56,544
We have a bowl.
130
00:07:57,597 --> 00:07:59,197
Our keys go in a bowl.
131
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:01,862
You should get a bowl.
132
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,918
So, how did the beautiful mind
of Sheldon Cooper
133
00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:06,652
forget his key in the first place?
134
00:08:07,801 --> 00:08:09,571
I left them in the bowl.
135
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,117
I just remembered
where the emergency key is.
136
00:08:13,466 --> 00:08:15,244
Where?
In your apartment.
137
00:08:15,847 --> 00:08:18,341
- What's it doing in my apartment?
- I went in there a few weeks ago
138
00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:20,457
and you guys weren't
home and I forgot it there.
139
00:08:20,807 --> 00:08:23,907
You went in my... Why would...
What are you saying?
140
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:26,754
It's not a big deal. I was making coffee
and I ran out of milk.
141
00:08:27,011 --> 00:08:28,611
You're the milk thief!
142
00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:34,728
Leonard said I was crazy,
but I knew that carton felt lighter.
143
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,441
All right. Just calm down.
144
00:08:37,566 --> 00:08:40,203
I will call the building manager
and he'll come open your door.
145
00:08:40,328 --> 00:08:42,076
Eat your dinner here
while you're waiting.
146
00:08:42,201 --> 00:08:44,828
Eat? My dinner?
In your apartment?
147
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:46,395
Why not?
148
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,291
Sure. Why not?
149
00:08:48,483 --> 00:08:51,214
And after the sun's down,
we can all pile in my pickup
150
00:08:51,339 --> 00:08:53,449
and go skinny-dipping
down at the creek.
151
00:08:54,966 --> 00:08:57,160
'Cause today's the day
to stop making sense.
152
00:09:00,951 --> 00:09:01,727
Thanks.
153
00:09:01,852 --> 00:09:03,952
I'm telling you, Leonard...
video slots...
154
00:09:04,228 --> 00:09:07,116
{\pos(192,220)}free drinks brought to us
by a bosomy barmaid
155
00:09:07,644 --> 00:09:09,673
{\pos(192,220)}and all you can eat shrimp
for $3.95.
156
00:09:11,608 --> 00:09:13,258
{\pos(192,220)}Disneyland can suck it.
157
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:19,397
This is the real
happiest place on earth.
158
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,780
Dude, check it out!
That's laundry for a month!
159
00:09:28,522 --> 00:09:29,522
Hi.
160
00:09:36,383 --> 00:09:37,383
Hello.
161
00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:42,234
- What's your name?
- Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali.
162
00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:45,167
Hello, Rajesh Ra...
163
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,069
Hi, Rajesh.
164
00:09:48,646 --> 00:09:50,422
- I'm Michaela.
- Hello, Michaela.
165
00:09:51,088 --> 00:09:53,008
So, you interested
in a little party?
166
00:09:54,529 --> 00:09:56,329
Why, yes, I love to party.
167
00:09:57,283 --> 00:09:58,907
Party is my middle name.
168
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,482
Or, it would be
if it weren't Ramayan.
169
00:10:03,912 --> 00:10:06,326
- Can I talk to you for a moment?
- Not now.
170
00:10:06,451 --> 00:10:08,231
Michaela's inviting me to a party.
171
00:10:09,169 --> 00:10:12,027
You better call the moon
and make sure they have a bed for you.
172
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,157
Yeah. I really need to talk to you.
173
00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:20,762
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere. Don't move.
174
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:24,682
Just stay the beautiful, unspoiled
American flower that you are.
175
00:10:26,445 --> 00:10:29,795
What's wrong with you, dude?
That woman was all up in my jammy.
176
00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:34,325
Okay, I hate to break this to you
and whatever your "jammy" is, but...
177
00:10:35,215 --> 00:10:36,885
I'm pretty sure she's a prostitute.
178
00:10:37,856 --> 00:10:38,856
What?
179
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,848
Let me put it this way:
In your entire life,
180
00:10:44,973 --> 00:10:47,368
how many gorgeous women
have walked straight up to you in a bar
181
00:10:47,493 --> 00:10:49,457
and asked if you wanted to party?
182
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,318
Maybe I can save her.
183
00:10:56,014 --> 00:10:59,971
Maybe, but I'm guessing it'll cost you
about $500 an hour to try.
184
00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:08,785
It was lovely meeting you.
Best of luck in your future endeavors.
185
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:11,827
Whatever.
186
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:15,574
I miss her already.
187
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,660
Howard's losing it.
188
00:11:21,785 --> 00:11:23,662
Check out his latest Twitters.
189
00:11:24,032 --> 00:11:27,291
"I'm at the bottom of a black hole
staring into the abyss.
190
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:30,684
"My life is meaningless.
My future is without hope."
191
00:11:31,317 --> 00:11:33,984
Why don't we take him
to see the Blue Man Group?
192
00:11:34,835 --> 00:11:35,985
You think that'd help?
193
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:39,398
USA Today calls them
"exuberant fun for the whole family."
194
00:11:40,463 --> 00:11:43,744
I don't know, Howard isn't really
the family fun kind of guy.
195
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:46,830
It's too bad he wasn't here
for that hooker.
196
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,750
She's exactly his type; a hooker.
197
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,297
You know, I bet if we hired her,
that would cheer him up.
198
00:11:55,556 --> 00:11:57,996
We're not gonna get
Wolowitz a hooker.
199
00:12:02,443 --> 00:12:04,407
"I'm so lonely and horny,
200
00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:08,309
"I may open this $20 jar
of peanuts and end it all."
201
00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:16,356
I suppose it wouldn't hurt
to get an estimate.
202
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,762
So how was your day?
203
00:12:25,268 --> 00:12:27,415
Are you trying to make small talk?
204
00:12:27,818 --> 00:12:29,706
Sweetie, you really don't have to.
205
00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:32,208
No, it's the accepted convention.
206
00:12:35,365 --> 00:12:36,728
How was your day?
207
00:12:38,918 --> 00:12:41,344
They shifted my schedule around
at the restaurant,
208
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,387
- so my hours are gonna be{\ a little differe}...
- I'm sorry.
209
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,888
That's not going to interest me at all.
Just eat.
210
00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:56,310
Hello again.
211
00:12:58,362 --> 00:12:59,684
Hi. Listen...
212
00:13:00,221 --> 00:13:03,739
If you're not busy,
we were thinking maybe you could...
213
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,871
- We were wondering...
- If you're really a prostitute.
214
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,248
- You guys cops?
- No.
215
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,712
I'm a prostitute.
216
00:13:14,116 --> 00:13:15,574
Okay, great.
217
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,773
The thing is, we've got this friend,
and he's kind of down in the dumps.
218
00:13:28,898 --> 00:13:31,417
And we thought maybe you
could cheer him up.
219
00:13:31,712 --> 00:13:32,712
With sex.
220
00:13:35,342 --> 00:13:36,856
I think she knows what I meant.
221
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,749
How {\can she }when you beat around the bush?
She's from the mean streets
222
00:13:39,874 --> 00:13:42,270
where they shoot from the hip
and keep it real.
223
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:46,575
Don't worry.
I can take good care of your friend.
224
00:13:46,874 --> 00:13:48,524
Okay, terrific.
225
00:13:49,869 --> 00:13:52,447
Listen, is there
a way that we can do this
226
00:13:52,572 --> 00:13:55,985
where he doesn't know
that you're a, you know...
227
00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,185
Prostitute.
228
00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:00,464
You want the girlfriend experience.
229
00:14:00,981 --> 00:14:04,113
Yes. Yeah, exactly.
The girlfriend experience.
230
00:14:04,238 --> 00:14:06,001
Actually,
if it's not too much to ask,
231
00:14:06,126 --> 00:14:08,762
could we have the Jewish
girlfriend experience?
232
00:14:11,523 --> 00:14:14,144
Okay, that's question 20.
You have to guess.
233
00:14:16,391 --> 00:14:17,991
I don't know, Sheldon.
234
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:19,875
Are you Star Wars?
235
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,561
How can one person be a whole movie?
236
00:14:25,988 --> 00:14:27,783
I give up.
Can we just do something else?
237
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:29,776
Fine.
238
00:14:30,306 --> 00:14:31,386
I was Spock.
239
00:14:36,863 --> 00:14:39,377
Are you and Leonard
friends with benefits?
240
00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:41,226
What?
241
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,590
Are you and Leonard
friends with benefits?
242
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:46,217
Where did that even come from?
Did he say we were?
243
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,925
No, Leonard said nothing.
But who knows what goes on over here
244
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:51,359
when he pretends
your mail was misdelivered?
245
00:14:53,128 --> 00:14:54,935
Just mail, no benefits.
246
00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:56,697
I see.
247
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,708
Why are you asking?
248
00:14:59,037 --> 00:15:01,797
I'm curious about the
whole social construct.
249
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:06,060
On its face, the idea
of satisfying one's sexual appetite,
250
00:15:06,185 --> 00:15:07,864
assuming one is afflicted with such,
251
00:15:08,246 --> 00:15:11,078
without emotional entanglement,
252
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,739
that seems eminently practical.
253
00:15:12,864 --> 00:15:14,423
What I've observed, however,
254
00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:17,683
is Howard Wolowitz
crying like a little girl.
255
00:15:19,445 --> 00:15:22,211
Some people just can't handle
that kind of relationship.
256
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,222
Can you?
257
00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:28,090
Excuse me?
258
00:15:28,826 --> 00:15:30,336
Are you able to have sex with men
259
00:15:30,461 --> 00:15:32,305
without developing
an emotional attachment?
260
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:37,811
I really... don't want
to talk about this with you.
261
00:15:38,143 --> 00:15:40,008
Is this conversation making you
uncomfortable?
262
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,607
Of course it's making me uncomfortable.
Can't you tell?
263
00:15:42,939 --> 00:15:44,192
I really have no idea.
264
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,112
I don't particularly excel
at reading facial expressions{\body language}...
265
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,024
I'm uncomfortable, Sheldon!
266
00:15:51,304 --> 00:15:53,172
Thank you. That's very helpful.
267
00:15:56,215 --> 00:15:58,790
All right, where are
these amazing shrimp?
268
00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:00,666
Behold.
269
00:16:03,161 --> 00:16:06,370
Seriously, you think this is
the size of a baby's arm?
270
00:16:07,953 --> 00:16:09,086
A little baby.
271
00:16:10,787 --> 00:16:12,095
I'm going back to the room.
272
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:15,790
Boy, would it maybe kill them
to put out a nice brisket?
273
00:16:27,244 --> 00:16:29,261
Hi, there. Howard Wolowitz.
274
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,080
Esther Rosenblatt.
275
00:16:38,974 --> 00:16:42,018
I don't think the manager's
coming tonight, so here.
276
00:16:42,957 --> 00:16:45,314
Are you suggesting
I sleep on the couch?
277
00:16:46,336 --> 00:16:48,458
{\Well, }It wasn't the first suggestion
that came to mind,
278
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:50,592
but it's the one I'm going with.
279
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:54,095
I can't sleep on your couch.
I sleep in a bed.
280
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:57,681
And given its dimensions, I have
no intention of living out {\E. M.}Snickering's
281
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,810
beloved children's book,
The Tall Man From Cornwall.
282
00:17:02,251 --> 00:17:03,251
What?
283
00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:06,118
"There was a tall man from Cornwall
284
00:17:06,243 --> 00:17:07,930
"whose length exceed his bed.
285
00:17:08,055 --> 00:17:09,987
"My body fits on it,
but barely upon it,
286
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,567
"there's no room
for my big Cornish head."
287
00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:22,707
All right, I will give you my bed
on one condition:
288
00:17:23,093 --> 00:17:26,461
that you promise to zip your hole
for the next eight hours.
289
00:17:27,593 --> 00:17:29,129
May I say one last thing?
290
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,673
Only if it doesn't rhyme.
291
00:17:32,889 --> 00:17:33,983
All right.
292
00:17:38,628 --> 00:17:39,646
Good night.
293
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,599
Turn-ons? Let me see.
294
00:17:46,055 --> 00:17:48,358
Reading a good book
in front of the fire,
295
00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:50,415
long walks on the beach...
296
00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:54,417
and getting freaky on the Sabbath
with a bacon cheeseburger.
297
00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:00,053
Really? Me, too!
298
00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:04,680
Oy, gevalt, you're hot.
299
00:18:09,149 --> 00:18:10,856
Excuse me for a moment.
300
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:15,884
How's it going?
301
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,220
Cut the crap.
You set this up, didn't you?
302
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,808
She's a hooker, isn't she?
303
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,211
A prostitute, yes.
304
00:18:26,301 --> 00:18:28,026
You already gave her the money?
305
00:18:30,047 --> 00:18:31,047
Thank you!
306
00:18:42,467 --> 00:18:43,467
What?
307
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,867
I can't sleep.
308
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:49,847
Maybe that's because your hole
is still open.
309
00:18:52,203 --> 00:18:53,336
I'm homesick.
310
00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:57,887
Your home is 20 feet from here.
311
00:18:58,443 --> 00:19:00,916
20 feet, 20 light-years,
it doesn't matter.
312
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,906
It's in a galaxy far, far away.
313
00:19:06,238 --> 00:19:07,238
Damn it.
314
00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:12,814
What do you want me to do?
315
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:15,503
Sing Soft Kitty.
316
00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:20,492
That's only for when you're sick.
317
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:24,130
Homesick is a type of being sick.
318
00:19:28,099 --> 00:19:30,285
Come on, do I really have to?
319
00:19:31,343 --> 00:19:33,296
I suppose we can stay up and talk.
320
00:19:35,756 --> 00:19:37,356
Soft kitty
321
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,747
Warm kitty
322
00:19:39,872 --> 00:19:42,173
Little ball of fur
323
00:19:42,928 --> 00:19:44,730
Happy kitty
324
00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:49,916
- Sleepy kitty.
- Sleepy kit...
325
00:19:52,916 --> 00:19:53,916
Start over.
326
00:19:59,219 --> 00:20:01,073
Soft kitty
327
00:20:01,198 --> 00:20:02,587
Warm kitty
328
00:20:02,712 --> 00:20:05,061
Little ball of fur
329
00:20:05,973 --> 00:20:07,450
Happy kitty
330
00:20:07,575 --> 00:20:08,957
Sleepy kitty
331
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,609
Purr, purr, purr
332
00:20:17,348 --> 00:20:19,259
Thank you for letting me stay here.
333
00:20:20,597 --> 00:20:22,303
You're welcome, sweetie.
334
00:20:26,914 --> 00:20:28,799
Okay, I'm sleepy now.
Get out.
335
00:20:38,650 --> 00:20:40,855
Good. You're finally home.
336
00:20:41,151 --> 00:20:42,656
What were you doing at Penny's?
337
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,587
Well, we had dinner,
338
00:20:44,712 --> 00:20:46,786
played some games,
and then I spent the night.
339
00:20:48,577 --> 00:20:50,385
You'll be happy to know
that I now have
340
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:53,167
a much better understanding
of "friends with benefits."
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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