1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,001 Sheldon, you’re wrong. 2 00:00:03,005 --> 00:00:06,008 Wolverine was not born with bone claws. 3 00:00:06,017 --> 00:00:07,519 Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. 4 00:00:07,524 --> 00:00:11,528 Don’t you think if I were wrong, I’d know it? 5 00:00:11,539 --> 00:00:13,541 Okay, first of all... Give it up, dude. 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,049 You’re arguing with a crazy person. 7 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,559 I’m not crazy. 8 00:00:17,563 --> 00:00:19,064 My mother had me tested. 9 00:00:20,575 --> 00:00:22,577 Hey, guys. What are you doing here? 10 00:00:22,583 --> 00:00:24,585 What do you mean? It’s new comic book night. 11 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,593 Yeah, but since you and Penny finally hooked up, we thought 12 00:00:26,598 --> 00:00:30,101 you two would be having bouncy naked yum-yum night. 13 00:00:30,112 --> 00:00:33,115 There’s more to life than sex, Raj. 14 00:00:33,124 --> 00:00:35,126 Okay, who had "Leonard flames out with Penny 15 00:00:35,131 --> 00:00:37,133 - in less than 24 hours"? - I did. 16 00:00:37,642 --> 00:00:39,143 Nothing flamed out. 17 00:00:39,147 --> 00:00:41,149 We don’t have to have sex every night, you know. 18 00:00:41,155 --> 00:00:45,159 You don’t have to, but it’s highly recommended. 19 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,173 Yeah, take advantage of that window of opportunity 20 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,684 before it slams shut on your little dinky. 21 00:00:50,693 --> 00:00:52,695 It’s not a matter of opportunity. 22 00:00:52,701 --> 00:00:53,702 We’re getting to know each other. 23 00:00:54,206 --> 00:00:55,708 There’s a learning curve. 24 00:00:55,713 --> 00:00:56,714 What’s there to learn? 25 00:00:56,717 --> 00:00:58,218 You get naked, do nasty things to each other, 26 00:00:58,222 --> 00:01:00,224 then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami. 27 00:01:00,230 --> 00:01:01,231 Easy peasy. 28 00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,736 Perhaps what Leonard 29 00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:04,241 is obliquely referring to 30 00:01:04,246 --> 00:01:06,749 is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction. 31 00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:10,259 Okay, who had "Leonard gets a floppy disk"? 32 00:01:10,269 --> 00:01:12,772 Oh, a clever-- albeit obsolete, euphemism 33 00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:15,282 for insufficient blood flow to the male sex organ. 34 00:01:15,289 --> 00:01:17,792 (chuckles) 35 00:01:17,799 --> 00:01:19,801 Nothing like that happened, all right? 36 00:01:19,807 --> 00:01:21,809 The sex was... just fine. 37 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,817 Just fine? 38 00:01:23,823 --> 00:01:27,827 Oh, dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was "just fine." 39 00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:29,842 I’m not saying it was bad. 40 00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:32,850 I’m just saying it... wasn’t great. 41 00:01:32,858 --> 00:01:33,859 Okay, when you say "it wasn’t great," 42 00:01:33,862 --> 00:01:34,863 do you mean for both of you? 43 00:01:35,368 --> 00:01:36,870 Because we can totally see it not being great for her. 44 00:01:37,376 --> 00:01:38,878 Am I right? Oh, yeah. 45 00:01:38,882 --> 00:01:41,384 To tell you the truth, I think we were both a little-- 46 00:01:41,391 --> 00:01:42,392 I don’t know... 47 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:43,897 Disappointed? Let down? 48 00:01:43,902 --> 00:01:45,904 Ashamed? Horrified? Repulsed? 49 00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:49,413 All I know is, it wasn’t the wa y I dreamed it would be. 50 00:01:49,423 --> 00:01:53,928 (scoffs) Sex is never the way Idream it’s gonna be. 51 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,953 Because in your dreams you’re a horse from the waist down. 52 00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:02,467 Excuse me, Wolverine: Origin. 53 00:02:02,976 --> 00:02:05,979 Miniseries issue two, page 22. 54 00:02:05,988 --> 00:02:07,489 Retractable bone claws. 55 00:02:07,996 --> 00:02:09,998 If you people spent less time thinking about sex 56 00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:12,006 and more time concentrating on comic books, 57 00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:14,014 we’d have far fewer of these embarrassing moments. 58 00:02:16,529 --> 00:02:20,033 # Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state # 59 00:02:20,043 --> 00:02:23,546 # Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! # 60 00:02:23,557 --> 00:02:25,059 # The Earth began to cool # 61 00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:28,066 # The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools # 62 00:02:28,075 --> 00:02:30,077 # We built the Wall # # We built the pyramids # 63 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,087 # Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery # 64 00:02:33,095 --> 00:02:34,596 # That all started with a big bang # 65 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,602 # Bang! # 66 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,002 BBT S03E02 "Jiminy Conjecture" by Mikhel 67 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,101 Sheldon, dinner’s here. 68 00:02:42,104 --> 00:02:44,106 SHELDON: Tandoori Palace? 69 00:02:44,109 --> 00:02:45,611 No, we went somewhere new. 70 00:02:49,122 --> 00:02:51,625 You’re good-naturedly ribbing me, aren’t you? 71 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,132 No, look, Mumbai Palace. 72 00:02:54,136 --> 00:02:55,137 Why? 73 00:02:55,138 --> 00:02:57,140 Why would we change? 74 00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:58,646 We had a perfectly good palace. 75 00:02:58,648 --> 00:03:01,651 Tandoori Palace is our palace. 76 00:03:01,656 --> 00:03:03,157 Trust me, this will be just fine. 77 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,161 (scoffs) 78 00:03:04,162 --> 00:03:05,163 You are the authority 79 00:03:05,165 --> 00:03:08,168 on "just fine." (snickering) 80 00:03:08,173 --> 00:03:10,175 What’s that supposed to mean? 81 00:03:10,178 --> 00:03:12,180 Yeah, exactly. 82 00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,186 "Not bad, but not great." 83 00:03:14,189 --> 00:03:15,190 (stifled chuckles) 84 00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,197 What are they talking about? 85 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,702 I don’t know I know. 86 00:03:19,704 --> 00:03:20,705 As I’m sure you’re aware... Duh-duh-duh-duh 87 00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:22,710 duh-duh. 88 00:03:22,712 --> 00:03:25,214 If that’s Morse code, that’s terrible. 89 00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:28,224 As I was saying, you and Leonard had 90 00:03:28,226 --> 00:03:29,728 sexual encounter. a disap pointing 91 00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:30,732 Earlier this evening, 92 00:03:30,733 --> 00:03:32,735 Leonard characterized it as "just fine." 93 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,241 So what you’re seeing here is a continuation 94 00:03:34,242 --> 00:03:36,745 of the mocking that followed. 95 00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:40,257 Okay, yeah, well, 96 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,261 I’m just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhere. 97 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,266 Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside. 98 00:03:45,773 --> 00:03:47,274 Penny, wait. 99 00:03:47,277 --> 00:03:48,779 Aah! 100 00:03:48,781 --> 00:03:51,283 What is wrong with you? 101 00:03:51,288 --> 00:03:52,289 (door slams) 102 00:03:54,797 --> 00:03:58,300 I sense I may have crossed some sort of line. 103 00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,809 Yeah, you... No, don’t tell him . 104 00:04:00,813 --> 00:04:03,816 Let’s see if he can figure it out. 105 00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,335 Ugh, I am so embarrassed! 106 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:11,841 Please don’t be mad. 107 00:04:11,843 --> 00:04:12,844 What did you tell them? 108 00:04:12,845 --> 00:04:15,848 Nothing bad, just that last night was fine. 109 00:04:15,853 --> 00:04:18,355 Fine? You said it was fine? 110 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,362 Yeah, it’s a perfectly good word. 111 00:04:20,365 --> 00:04:22,367 You put it in front of "wine" or "dining," 112 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,873 and you’ve really got something . 113 00:04:27,885 --> 00:04:30,888 Okay, well, let me ask you this: 114 00:04:30,893 --> 00:04:32,895 How was last night for you? 115 00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:36,402 It was... okay. 116 00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:38,410 Okay? 117 00:04:38,413 --> 00:04:40,916 Yeah, it’s a perfectly good word. 118 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,922 I mean, you put it in front of "dokay" 119 00:04:42,925 --> 00:04:44,927 and you really got something. 120 00:04:46,936 --> 00:04:47,937 All right, look, let’s not overreact, you know? 121 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,440 For a lot of couples, it takes time 122 00:04:49,442 --> 00:04:50,944 to get to know each other’s rhythms. 123 00:04:50,947 --> 00:04:52,949 Learn what the other person wants and likes. 124 00:04:52,952 --> 00:04:54,954 So, you’ve been through this before? 125 00:04:54,957 --> 00:04:56,458 No. 126 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,967 Okay-dokay. 127 00:05:01,474 --> 00:05:03,977 You know, I think this is one of those things where 128 00:05:03,981 --> 00:05:05,482 talking about it is not going to make it better. 129 00:05:05,485 --> 00:05:06,486 Want a glass of wine? 130 00:05:06,989 --> 00:05:08,991 So much. Okay. 131 00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:10,997 See, we should’ve done this last night. 132 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,003 You know, have a little wine, take the edge off. 133 00:05:14,008 --> 00:05:16,510 Actually, ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction 134 00:05:16,514 --> 00:05:19,517 in the nerve cells and stimulates reuptake receptors 135 00:05:19,522 --> 00:05:24,527 of inhibitory neurotransmitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid. 136 00:05:27,043 --> 00:05:29,545 Don’t talk, just drink. 137 00:05:32,056 --> 00:05:33,557 No, you’re misunderstanding 138 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,064 A shiksa goddess isn’t an actual goddess 139 00:05:37,069 --> 00:05:39,571 And we don’t pray to them. 140 00:05:40,077 --> 00:05:42,579 We prey on them. 141 00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:44,086 Whatever, dude. 142 00:05:44,088 --> 00:05:46,590 The point is, Leonard’s got one and you don’t. 143 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,597 Is this it? 144 00:05:49,102 --> 00:05:51,604 It was inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny’s sex life 145 00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:53,111 in front of Leonard and Penny. 146 00:05:53,613 --> 00:05:56,616 Oh, good! 147 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,124 (sighs with relief) 148 00:05:58,126 --> 00:05:59,627 Now I can eat. 149 00:06:02,637 --> 00:06:05,640 (cricket chirping) 150 00:06:06,147 --> 00:06:07,648 What’s that? 151 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:10,153 Sounds like a cricket. Hang on. 152 00:06:10,158 --> 00:06:14,662 (cricket crping) 153 00:06:14,669 --> 00:06:16,171 Based on the number of chirps per minute 154 00:06:16,674 --> 00:06:17,675 and the ambient temperature in this room, 155 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:21,181 it is a snowy tree cricket. 156 00:06:21,187 --> 00:06:23,689 Oh, give me a freakin’ break. 157 00:06:23,693 --> 00:06:25,695 How could you possibly know that? 158 00:06:25,698 --> 00:06:27,200 In 1890, Emile Dolbear 159 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,704 determined that there was 160 00:06:28,706 --> 00:06:29,707 a fixed relationship between the number 161 00:06:29,709 --> 00:06:31,711 of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket 162 00:06:31,714 --> 00:06:33,216 and the ambient temperature. 163 00:06:33,219 --> 00:06:34,720 A precise relationship that is not present 164 00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:36,724 with ordinary field crickets. 165 00:06:36,728 --> 00:06:39,231 How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is? 166 00:06:39,235 --> 00:06:41,237 Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard, 167 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,741 I’ve had unilateral control of the thermostat 168 00:06:42,744 --> 00:06:45,747 ever since the sweaty night of ’06. 169 00:06:45,752 --> 00:06:49,756 Okay, you were right about wolverine and bone claws, 170 00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:52,765 but you’re wrong about the cricket. 171 00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:54,272 Howard, don’t embarrass yourself. 172 00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:56,277 The science chirps for itself. 173 00:06:56,280 --> 00:07:00,284 (chuckling): Humorous word play. 174 00:07:00,291 --> 00:07:01,792 No, no, not this time. 175 00:07:01,794 --> 00:07:03,296 I know insects, my friend. 176 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:04,800 I spent many 177 00:07:04,802 --> 00:07:06,304 childhood years capturing them with nets, 178 00:07:06,307 --> 00:07:08,309 putting them in glass jars, sticking pins through them, 179 00:07:08,312 --> 00:07:10,814 mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels 180 00:07:10,818 --> 00:07:14,322 underneath, identifying the genus and species. 181 00:07:14,328 --> 00:07:16,330 In Latin. 182 00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:21,842 Oh, dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess. 183 00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:24,852 (cricket chirping) 184 00:07:24,856 --> 00:07:26,858 Thatis a snowy tree cricket. 185 00:07:26,861 --> 00:07:28,363 Oecanthus fultoni. 186 00:07:28,366 --> 00:07:31,869 I was done with Latin by fifth grade. 187 00:07:31,874 --> 00:07:33,376 Okay, okay, tell you what. 188 00:07:33,379 --> 00:07:35,381 I am willing to bet anything 189 00:07:35,384 --> 00:07:36,385 that’s an ordinary field cricket. 190 00:07:36,888 --> 00:07:38,890 I can’t take your money. 191 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,395 What’s the matter, you chicken? 192 00:07:40,398 --> 00:07:43,401 I’ve always found that an inappropriate slur. 193 00:07:43,406 --> 00:07:44,907 Chickens are not, by nature, 194 00:07:44,909 --> 00:07:45,910 at all timid. 195 00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:47,414 In fact, when I was young, 196 00:07:47,416 --> 00:07:48,917 my neighbor’s chicken got loose 197 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,923 and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house. 198 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,434 . Chickens can’t climb trees 199 00:07:55,438 --> 00:07:56,439 Thank God. 200 00:07:58,946 --> 00:07:59,947 Okay, 201 00:07:59,949 --> 00:08:01,951 I believe a chicken made you his bitch. 202 00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:05,461 But the cricket thing, I don’t buy. 203 00:08:05,464 --> 00:08:06,465 Bet me. 204 00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:08,969 Fair enough. 205 00:08:08,973 --> 00:08:10,975 What stakedo you propose? 206 00:08:10,978 --> 00:08:14,982 I will put up my Fantastic Four number 48, 207 00:08:14,989 --> 00:08:16,491 first appearance of Silver Surfer 208 00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:18,996 against your Flash 123, 209 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,002 the classicFlash of two worlds issue. 210 00:08:21,005 --> 00:08:24,008 All right, you have a wager. 211 00:08:24,013 --> 00:08:26,516 Hmm. Great. 212 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,021 Now how are you going to settle it, hmm? 213 00:08:28,024 --> 00:08:30,026 There is no way to determine the species 214 00:08:30,029 --> 00:08:31,531 of the cricket without examining it. 215 00:08:31,534 --> 00:08:36,539 (cricket chirping) 216 00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:40,050 (chirping continues) 217 00:08:40,056 --> 00:08:44,060 I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight. 218 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,068 (cricket chirping) 219 00:08:56,098 --> 00:08:58,100 More wine? Hit me. 220 00:09:04,622 --> 00:09:05,623 I don’t see anything. 221 00:09:05,624 --> 00:09:08,126 Shh! 222 00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:12,135 (cricket chirping) 223 00:09:12,141 --> 00:09:13,643 Hallway. 224 00:09:17,656 --> 00:09:18,657 (groaning) 225 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,661 One at a time. 226 00:09:28,184 --> 00:09:30,186 (deep growling) 227 00:09:32,195 --> 00:09:33,697 What was that? 228 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:36,702 My stomach. 229 00:09:36,707 --> 00:09:38,709 Indian food doesn’t agree with me. 230 00:09:40,718 --> 00:09:43,220 Ironic, isn’t it? 231 00:09:43,224 --> 00:09:45,727 Shh! 232 00:09:45,731 --> 00:09:46,732 (chirping resumes) 233 00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:49,237 (whispering): Elevator shaft. 234 00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:53,246 (chirping) 235 00:09:53,251 --> 00:09:54,753 Help me open it. 236 00:09:54,755 --> 00:09:55,756 Are you crazy? 237 00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:58,260 We can’t go down an empty elevator shaft. 238 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,266 Fine, if you don’t want to proceed, 239 00:10:00,269 --> 00:10:01,270 then you forfeit the bet, 240 00:10:01,272 --> 00:10:03,274 and I’ll take possession of your Fantastic Four. 241 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,782 Let’s open her up. 242 00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:10,793 Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you? 243 00:10:10,798 --> 00:10:12,299 Don’t push me, Sheldon. 244 00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:15,805 I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was 13, 245 00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:18,313 and I remember a good deal of it. 246 00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:19,819 Oh, really? 247 00:10:19,822 --> 00:10:21,323 Well, I grew up with an older brother 248 00:10:21,325 --> 00:10:23,327 and a very contentious twin sister. 249 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,833 And I believe I could easily best you 250 00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:27,337 in any physical confrontation-- be it noogies, swirlies 251 00:10:27,843 --> 00:10:29,845 or the classic "Why are you hitting yourself?" 252 00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:36,358 Ooh, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken. 253 00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:41,877 (both chuckle) 254 00:10:45,389 --> 00:10:47,391 What are we drinking now? 255 00:10:47,395 --> 00:10:49,397 Peppermint schnapps. 256 00:10:50,403 --> 00:10:53,406 Why would you buy peppermint schnapps? 257 00:10:53,411 --> 00:10:55,413 Because I like peppermint, 258 00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:58,419 and it’s fun to say schnapps. 259 00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:01,427 (both laugh) 260 00:11:01,432 --> 00:11:03,434 Hey, Leonard? What? 261 00:11:03,437 --> 00:11:05,940 Schnapps. 262 00:11:05,944 --> 00:11:07,946 Schnapps. 263 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,952 You’re right , that is fun. 264 00:11:12,461 --> 00:11:14,964 Be careful. 265 00:11:14,968 --> 00:11:16,970 SHELDON: If I were not being careful, 266 00:11:16,974 --> 00:11:19,977 your telling me to be careful would not ke me careful. 267 00:11:21,485 --> 00:11:23,487 (cricket chirping) 268 00:11:24,493 --> 00:11:26,996 Stairwell. 269 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,002 SHELDON: Uh-oh, flashlight went out. 270 00:11:29,006 --> 00:11:31,508 I need some batteries. 271 00:11:31,512 --> 00:11:33,514 Fellas? 272 00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:37,525 Hello? 273 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,536 It’s really dark down here. 274 00:11:43,544 --> 00:11:45,546 (vomiting) 275 00:11:45,549 --> 00:11:48,552 Oh, sweetie. 276 00:11:48,557 --> 00:11:51,560 You really can’t hold your liquor, can you? 277 00:11:52,568 --> 00:11:54,070 I’m okay. 278 00:11:54,072 --> 00:11:55,573 Just a little mouthwash, 279 00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:59,080 and then I’m gonna rock your world. 280 00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:04,597 (vomiting) 281 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,102 Are you okay? 282 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,203 Ugh, Toby, what did you do in a past life 283 00:12:16,207 --> 00:12:19,210 to be so disgusting now? 284 00:12:19,214 --> 00:12:21,216 His name isn’t Toby 285 00:12:21,219 --> 00:12:23,721 Toby is an absurd name for a cricket. 286 00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:24,725 What would you name him? 287 00:12:24,727 --> 00:12:26,229 An appropriate cricket name. 288 00:12:26,231 --> 00:12:28,733 For example, Jiminy. 289 00:12:28,736 --> 00:12:30,238 All right, 290 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,741 Sheldon, here we go. 291 00:12:31,743 --> 00:12:34,246 Kleingast’s Field Guide to North American Insects. 292 00:12:34,249 --> 00:12:35,750 Hey, Toby. 293 00:12:35,752 --> 00:12:38,255 Right here. 294 00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:39,260 See it? 295 00:12:39,261 --> 00:12:40,262 The common field cricket, 296 00:12:40,264 --> 00:12:41,765 AKA Gryllus assimilis, 297 00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:44,270 which is Latin for "suck it, you lose." 298 00:12:44,273 --> 00:12:46,275 Hang on. 299 00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:47,779 Voil?. 300 00:12:47,781 --> 00:12:49,283 The snowy tree cricket. 301 00:12:49,285 --> 00:12:51,287 AKA Oecanthus fultoni, 302 00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,791 which is Latin for I’ll suck nothing. 303 00:12:53,795 --> 00:12:54,796 Of course I’m joking 304 00:12:54,797 --> 00:12:57,800 because the Latin for that isnihil exsorbibo. 305 00:12:57,804 --> 00:13:00,307 That is not Toby, 306 00:13:00,311 --> 00:13:01,312 this is Toby. 307 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:02,814 Raj, what do you think? 308 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,819 Oh, I really don’t care anymore 309 00:13:07,327 --> 00:13:09,829 God, I had the most horrible night. 310 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,335 What happened? 311 00:13:11,337 --> 00:13:14,340 Obviously another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess. 312 00:13:15,346 --> 00:13:16,847 Shiksa. Shik-sa. 313 00:13:17,351 --> 00:13:18,352 Forgive me. 314 00:13:18,353 --> 00:13:21,356 Yiddish was not spoken in east Texas. 315 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,363 And if it was, it wasn’t spoken for long. 316 00:13:24,868 --> 00:13:25,869 Yeah, fine, whatever. 317 00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:27,872 The point is, you’re wrong again. 318 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,378 We haven’t established that I’m wrong once. All right. 319 00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:31,382 Tell you what. Let’s go down 320 00:13:31,384 --> 00:13:32,885 to the Entomology Department 321 00:13:32,887 --> 00:13:34,389 and let Professor Crley tell us 322 00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:36,393 what kind of cricket Toby is. 323 00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:37,396 SHELDON: He’s a snow y tree cricket, 324 00:13:37,398 --> 00:13:39,400 and his name is Jiminy. 325 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,405 I bet I could throw a rock in this room 326 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:44,912 and come up with three better friends. 327 00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:54,434 Holy crap. 328 00:13:58,948 --> 00:14:01,951 It’s like Silence of the Lambs down here. 329 00:14:03,459 --> 00:14:04,460 (screams) 330 00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:08,468 Don’t do that! 331 00:14:08,471 --> 00:14:10,473 You’re such a girl. 332 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,476 They’re just bugs. 333 00:14:11,478 --> 00:14:12,979 Yeah, well, I don’t like bugs, okay? 334 00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:13,982 They freak me out. 335 00:14:14,485 --> 00:14:15,486 Interesting. 336 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,989 You’re afraid of insects and women. 337 00:14:17,993 --> 00:14:21,497 Ladybugs must render you catatonic. 338 00:14:23,004 --> 00:14:26,007 It was a joke. 339 00:14:26,011 --> 00:14:28,514 I made it to lessen your discomfort. 340 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,021 You’re welcome 341 00:14:31,023 --> 00:14:33,025 (footsteps) 342 00:14:36,537 --> 00:14:37,538 (chuckling): Don’t knock. 343 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,041 Just walk in. 344 00:14:39,042 --> 00:14:41,545 Why be polite to the world’s leading expert 345 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,550 on the dung beetle? 346 00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:45,556 Excuse me, 347 00:14:45,558 --> 00:14:47,059 are you Professor Crawley? 348 00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:49,063 Who wants to know? 349 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:52,570 I’m Dr. Cooper from the Physics Department. 350 00:14:52,574 --> 00:14:54,075 Couldn’t wait, huh? 351 00:14:54,579 --> 00:14:55,580 I’m sorry? 352 00:14:55,581 --> 00:14:57,082 I haven’t even packed yet, 353 00:14:57,084 --> 00:14:59,086 and you’re already measuring my lab 354 00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:02,092 for one of your godless laser machines. 355 00:15:03,099 --> 00:15:05,101 No, you don’t understand. 356 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,106 We just want to ask you a question. 357 00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:10,111 Let me ask you one first. 358 00:15:10,115 --> 00:15:12,117 What’s a world renowned entomologist 359 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,622 with a doctorate 360 00:15:13,624 --> 00:15:16,126 and 20 years of experience to do with his life 361 00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:19,633 when the university cuts off the funding for his lab, huh? 362 00:15:19,638 --> 00:15:21,640 Ask rhetorical questions 363 00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:24,646 that make people uncomfortable? 364 00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:26,652 (sarcastic laugh) 365 00:15:26,654 --> 00:15:29,156 What’s your deal? 366 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,664 Are they planning to outsource my job to Bangalore? 367 00:15:34,171 --> 00:15:36,674 I’m from New Delhi. 368 00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:38,681 Maybe you should find another entomologist. 369 00:15:39,183 --> 00:15:40,685 No, no. We’re here. Let’s settle this. 370 00:15:40,687 --> 00:15:43,690 Professor, can you identify our cricket? 371 00:15:43,694 --> 00:15:45,195 Of course I can. 372 00:15:45,197 --> 00:15:48,701 I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet. 373 00:15:48,706 --> 00:15:50,207 Not that that’s going 374 00:15:50,209 --> 00:15:53,212 to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard. 375 00:15:53,718 --> 00:15:54,719 And we’re not talking 376 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,223 Oxnard at the beach. No! 377 00:15:57,727 --> 00:15:58,728 We’re talking Oxnard 378 00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:01,733 in the onion fields. 379 00:16:04,744 --> 00:16:07,246 Well, could you look at Toby? 380 00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:08,751 Toby? 381 00:16:10,256 --> 00:16:12,759 What a stupid name for a cricket. 382 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,767 Told ya. 383 00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:17,271 It’s a field cricket. 384 00:16:17,273 --> 00:16:18,274 Yes! No, no, wait. 385 00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,278 Dr. Crawley, are you sure? 386 00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:22,783 Young man, I’ve been studying insects 387 00:16:22,786 --> 00:16:24,287 since I was eight years old. 388 00:16:24,289 --> 00:16:26,291 You know what they used to call me 389 00:16:26,294 --> 00:16:27,295 in school? 390 00:16:27,296 --> 00:16:29,298 Creepy Crawley. 391 00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:31,303 Cruel as that may be, 392 00:16:31,306 --> 00:16:33,308 that is not in itself a credential. 393 00:16:34,313 --> 00:16:36,315 Let me show you something. 394 00:16:36,317 --> 00:16:38,319 See that? 395 00:16:38,322 --> 00:16:40,324 That’s a Crawley’s dung beetle 396 00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:42,830 I discovered it after spending six months slogging 397 00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:44,835 through a Bornean rain forest, 398 00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,341 while my wife was back home 399 00:16:47,845 --> 00:16:50,347 shacking up with a two-bit ornithologist 400 00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,352 who lives on a sailboat 401 00:16:52,355 --> 00:16:54,858 and likes to wear boot-cut jeans! 402 00:16:54,861 --> 00:16:57,363 So, when I tell 403 00:16:57,367 --> 00:17:00,370 you that that’s a common field cricket, 404 00:17:00,876 --> 00:17:03,378 you can take that to the damn bank! 405 00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:04,883 Cause God knows I can’t 406 00:17:12,904 --> 00:17:15,907 Well, apparently, I was wrong. 407 00:17:15,911 --> 00:17:17,913 Congratulations. 408 00:17:24,430 --> 00:17:25,932 Enjoy Oxnard. 409 00:17:27,939 --> 00:17:30,441 I’m sure your daughter’s looking forward to having you. 410 00:17:37,461 --> 00:17:38,963 Oh, hey, Sheldon. 411 00:17:38,965 --> 00:17:40,967 What you got there? A new comic book? 412 00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:42,972 Old comic book. 413 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,977 I just retrieved it from my safe deposit box. 414 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,985 What do you have a safe deposit box for? 415 00:17:48,989 --> 00:17:51,992 Old comic books. 416 00:17:51,996 --> 00:17:53,998 I lost this to Wolowitz 417 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,003 in an ill-considered cricket wager. 418 00:17:57,007 --> 00:18:00,010 What, do they have Wii cricket now? 419 00:18:01,518 --> 00:18:03,520 That can’t be very popular. 420 00:18:03,522 --> 00:18:05,524 Penny, I’d rather not talk about it. 421 00:18:05,527 --> 00:18:07,029 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 422 00:18:07,532 --> 00:18:08,533 I’m not feeling so hot either. 423 00:18:10,038 --> 00:18:12,540 Why would that make me feel better? 424 00:18:12,543 --> 00:18:15,046 I don’t know, empathy? 425 00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:21,061 Anyway, I’m just saying, 426 00:18:21,064 --> 00:18:23,066 that you’re feeling upset about something with Howard, 427 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,071 and I’m upset about something with Leonard. Yes, 428 00:18:25,073 --> 00:18:27,075 yes, the disappointing sex. 429 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,581 That’s an inexac t parallel. 430 00:18:30,085 --> 00:18:32,587 You and Leonard can always return to being friends, 431 00:18:32,590 --> 00:18:34,092 whereas I can never return to a state 432 00:18:34,095 --> 00:18:36,097 in which Wolowitz has not bested me 433 00:18:36,099 --> 00:18:38,601 like Mrs. Riley’ s chicken. 434 00:18:38,605 --> 00:18:41,108 What’s Mrs. Riley’s chicken? 435 00:18:41,111 --> 00:18:44,114 A chicken that was owned by Mrs. Riley. 436 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,621 Okay, forget the chicken. 437 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:49,127 Well, I wish I could. 438 00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:51,132 No, no. 439 00:18:51,135 --> 00:18:52,636 You may be right about me and Leonard. 440 00:18:52,638 --> 00:18:54,140 Of course I’m right 441 00:18:54,142 --> 00:18:57,145 What are the odds I’d be wrong twice in one week? 442 00:18:57,149 --> 00:18:59,151 No, I mean, we can always go back to being friends. 443 00:18:59,153 --> 00:19:01,155 I just said that. 444 00:19:01,158 --> 00:19:02,659 This conversation has started to circle. 445 00:19:02,661 --> 00:19:05,164 Meeting adjourned. 446 00:19:08,175 --> 00:19:09,676 Hello. 447 00:19:09,678 --> 00:19:10,679 Hey. 448 00:19:11,182 --> 00:19:13,184 What’s going on? 449 00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:14,688 Oh, you’d like to catch up 450 00:19:15,191 --> 00:19:16,692 on the events of the day. All right. 451 00:19:16,694 --> 00:19:19,197 Well, there was a half-hour wait at the bank 452 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,701 to get into my safe deposit box, 453 00:19:20,703 --> 00:19:23,206 I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems, 454 00:19:23,711 --> 00:19:24,712 and, oh, yes, 455 00:19:24,713 --> 00:19:26,715 in a moment filled with biblical resonance, 456 00:19:26,718 --> 00:19:28,720 pride wenteth before my fall, 457 00:19:29,224 --> 00:19:32,727 causing my Flash 123 to goeth to Wolowitz. 458 00:19:32,732 --> 00:19:34,234 Wait a minute. 459 00:19:34,236 --> 00:19:36,738 You talked to Penny about our sex life? 460 00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:38,243 Leonard, it astonishes me 461 00:19:38,746 --> 00:19:40,248 how you continually fixate on the trivial. 462 00:19:40,751 --> 00:19:43,254 I lost a bet to Wolowitz. 463 00:19:43,257 --> 00:19:44,758 Right, right. 464 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,262 You’re saying you talked to Penny? 465 00:19:46,264 --> 00:19:47,765 Ye-Yes. 466 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:48,268 Interesting. 467 00:19:48,269 --> 00:19:50,271 Hardly. 468 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:51,274 Excuse me. 469 00:19:51,276 --> 00:19:53,778 Have I crossed some sort of line again? 470 00:19:53,781 --> 00:19:55,783 Little bit. 471 00:19:55,786 --> 00:19:58,789 Hmm. 472 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,802 Ah, who cares? 473 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,702 Oh, hey. Hey. 474 00:20:11,171 --> 00:20:12,673 Uh, what did Sheldon say to you? 475 00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:13,651 Not a lot. 476 00:20:13,635 --> 00:20:15,136 Just that we always have the option 477 00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:17,115 of going back to being friends. 478 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,085 Is that what you want? 479 00:20:19,054 --> 00:20:20,556 I don’t know. 480 00:20:20,533 --> 00:20:22,034 I mean, you have to admit 481 00:20:22,011 --> 00:20:25,014 things seemed simpler when we were just friends. 482 00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:26,469 I guess. 483 00:20:26,446 --> 00:20:28,448 It would take the pressure off. 484 00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:30,419 It would, wouldn’t it? 485 00:20:31,373 --> 00:20:33,875 So, we’ll just be friends. 486 00:20:33,836 --> 00:20:34,837 Good. 487 00:20:34,821 --> 00:20:36,323 Good. 488 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,302 Come here. Hmm. 489 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:52,302 Okay-dokey 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net