1
00:00:06,669 --> 00:00:09,072
Having a little trouble
catching your breath there?
2
00:00:10,705 --> 00:00:13,207
No, no, I'm good.
3
00:00:13,208 --> 00:00:15,043
If my P.E. teachers had told me
this is what I was training for,
4
00:00:15,236 --> 00:00:16,737
I would have tried
a lot harder.
5
00:00:16,738 --> 00:00:18,605
(laughing)
6
00:00:18,606 --> 00:00:22,843
"Do or do not.
There is no try."
7
00:00:25,113 --> 00:00:27,614
Did you just quote Star Wars?
8
00:00:27,615 --> 00:00:32,686
I believe I quoted
Empire Strikes Back.
9
00:00:34,889 --> 00:00:37,057
Oh, my God.
10
00:00:37,058 --> 00:00:39,293
I'm lying in bed
with a beautiful woman
11
00:00:39,294 --> 00:00:40,694
who can quote Yoda.
12
00:00:43,932 --> 00:00:45,632
(chuckles)
13
00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:49,036
I love you, Penny.
14
00:00:52,907 --> 00:00:54,942
Oh...
15
00:00:57,679 --> 00:01:00,380
Thank you.
16
00:01:02,283 --> 00:01:04,084
You're welcome.
17
00:01:04,919 --> 00:01:07,688
I just wanted
to put that out there.
18
00:01:07,689 --> 00:01:09,323
Oh, yeah, no,
I-I'm-I'm glad.
19
00:01:09,324 --> 00:01:10,591
Good.
20
00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,125
Glad is good.
Yeah.
21
00:01:12,126 --> 00:01:13,927
Yeah...
22
00:01:13,928 --> 00:01:14,928
(clearing throat)
23
00:01:14,929 --> 00:01:15,929
No, no...
24
00:01:15,930 --> 00:01:18,565
Um...
25
00:01:18,566 --> 00:01:21,768
So, it's getting
pretty late.
26
00:01:21,769 --> 00:01:23,670
We should probably
go to sleep.
Yeah.
27
00:01:23,671 --> 00:01:26,373
Okay.
(nervous chuckle)
Yeah, probably.
28
00:01:26,374 --> 00:01:27,975
Okay, good night, sweetie.
Good night.
29
00:01:32,313 --> 00:01:35,916
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
30
00:01:35,917 --> 00:01:39,253
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
31
00:01:39,254 --> 00:01:40,921
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
32
00:01:40,922 --> 00:01:43,423
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
33
00:01:43,424 --> 00:01:46,093
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
34
00:01:46,094 --> 00:01:48,762
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
35
00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:50,664
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
36
00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:51,933
♪ Bang! ♪
37
00:01:51,943 --> 00:01:56,843
The Big Bang Theory 3x19
The Wheaton Recurrence
Original Air Date on April 12, 2010
38
00:01:56,853 --> 00:02:00,253
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
39
00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:03,297
(gunfire and suspenseful music
playing on TV)
40
00:02:03,846 --> 00:02:06,949
Hey, Leonard, where
do you come down on giant ants?
41
00:02:09,079 --> 00:02:10,746
Sheldon says impossible.
42
00:02:10,747 --> 00:02:12,481
Howard and I say
not only possible,
43
00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:16,051
but as a mode of transportation,
way cooler than a Batmobile.
44
00:02:17,254 --> 00:02:19,221
You are ignoring
the square-cube law.
45
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,689
The giant ant would be crushed
46
00:02:20,690 --> 00:02:22,424
under the weight
of its own exoskeleton.
47
00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:23,893
And for the record,
48
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,529
the appropriate ranking of cool
modes of transportation is:
49
00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,831
jet pack, hoverboard,
transporter, Batmobile,
50
00:02:28,832 --> 00:02:30,966
and then giant ant.
51
00:02:32,169 --> 00:02:33,569
Seriously?
52
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,937
You have nothing better to do
53
00:02:34,938 --> 00:02:38,941
than sit around and discuss
the possibility of giant ants?
54
00:02:38,942 --> 00:02:40,442
What's with him?
55
00:02:40,443 --> 00:02:44,146
Perhaps he's at a sensitive
point in his monthly cycle.
56
00:02:45,048 --> 00:02:49,185
Are you saying
he's man-strating?
57
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,055
Not literally.
58
00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:55,558
But as far back
as the 17th century,
59
00:02:55,559 --> 00:02:57,526
scientists observed
a 33-day fluctuation
60
00:02:57,527 --> 00:02:58,928
in men's hormone levels.
61
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,696
Interesting.
62
00:03:00,697 --> 00:03:04,433
That might explain my weepy days
in the middle of the month.
63
00:03:05,468 --> 00:03:08,170
You know what I'm talking about.
64
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,311
Okay, forget
giant ants.
65
00:03:15,312 --> 00:03:17,580
How about giant rabbits?
66
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,549
Big or small,
I don't like rabbits.
67
00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:22,451
They always look like they're
about to say something,
68
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,320
but they never do.
69
00:03:24,321 --> 00:03:26,455
Rabbits do have
a respiratory system
70
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,157
that would support great size.
71
00:03:28,158 --> 00:03:30,726
And on a side note, they
are one of the few mammals
72
00:03:30,727 --> 00:03:33,963
whose scrotum is in front
of the penis.
73
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,668
Maybe that's what
they want to talk about.
74
00:03:39,669 --> 00:03:42,004
Leonard, where do you
stand on giant rabbits
75
00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:43,739
and scrotal position?
76
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:46,008
I honestly don't care.
77
00:03:46,009 --> 00:03:47,710
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Really?
78
00:03:47,711 --> 00:03:50,212
Because every time we've talked
about unusual animal genitals,
79
00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:51,914
you've always had
some pretty strong
80
00:03:51,915 --> 00:03:53,215
and controversial opinions.
81
00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:55,651
What do you want from me?
82
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,620
I just don't give a rat's ass.
83
00:03:57,621 --> 00:04:01,924
Would that be a giant rat's ass?
84
00:04:01,925 --> 00:04:04,927
For the record,
giant rats are possible.
85
00:04:04,928 --> 00:04:06,729
Can we please talk
about something else?
86
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:07,730
Maybe something vaguely related
87
00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:09,832
to life as we know it
on this planet?
88
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,834
Okay, how about this
for a topic:
89
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:16,472
Why is Leonard being
a giant douche?
90
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:19,875
Assuming giant douches
are possible.
91
00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,410
Of course they are.
92
00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:23,479
Leonard's being one.
93
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,448
Maybe he's having
a lover's spat with Penny.
94
00:04:26,449 --> 00:04:28,083
No, there was no spat.
95
00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:30,486
Oh, but something happened.
96
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:31,887
I don't want to talk about it.
97
00:04:31,888 --> 00:04:34,857
But I sense you're going to and
I don't want to hear about it.
98
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,558
Excuse me.
99
00:04:36,559 --> 00:04:38,327
What'd you do, Romeo?
100
00:04:38,328 --> 00:04:40,329
You pour maple syrup
all over your body
101
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:43,532
and ask her if she was in
the mood for a short stack?
102
00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:50,139
Did you think it would be funny
to put on a pair of her panties
103
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:53,375
and jump around, but it wound up
just creeping her out?
104
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,878
What? No.
105
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,780
I'm just asking, dude.
106
00:04:57,781 --> 00:05:00,282
It happens.
107
00:05:01,818 --> 00:05:04,253
You guys still on
for bowling tonight?
108
00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:05,654
Oh, yes.
109
00:05:05,655 --> 00:05:08,924
In fact, I've prepared some
trash talk for the occasion.
110
00:05:08,925 --> 00:05:11,226
You bowl like your mama.
111
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,696
Unless, of course,
she bowls well.
112
00:05:13,697 --> 00:05:15,497
In which case,
you bowl nothing like her.
113
00:05:15,498 --> 00:05:18,867
Oh. Ouch.
114
00:05:18,868 --> 00:05:22,805
That is what is referred
to as a burn on you.
115
00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:26,875
Did you ask her
to start waxing?
116
00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:27,843
No.
117
00:05:27,844 --> 00:05:29,812
Did you start waxing?
118
00:05:29,813 --> 00:05:30,946
No.
119
00:05:30,947 --> 00:05:32,614
While making love,
120
00:05:32,615 --> 00:05:34,516
did you accidentally
spank your own ass
121
00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:36,819
and cry out, "Mommy"?
122
00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:45,794
I'm walking away from you now.
123
00:05:45,795 --> 00:05:48,163
That wasn't a no.
124
00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:51,000
Yeah, I think
we're getting close.
125
00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:55,804
Did you take a Benadryl and fall
asleep while pleasuring her?
126
00:05:55,805 --> 00:05:58,640
Because you can die that way.
127
00:05:58,641 --> 00:06:01,510
Oh, that would be
a good way to go.
128
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:05,080
Hi.
129
00:06:05,081 --> 00:06:06,015
Oh, hey.
130
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:07,149
Good, Penny.
131
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:08,951
Reminder: bowling tonight
at 7:00.
132
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,953
Oh, right, bowling.
133
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:13,188
You don't have to come
if you don't want to.
134
00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,690
No, no, it's okay.
135
00:06:14,691 --> 00:06:17,326
I mean, let's face it, you guys
would get creamed without me.
136
00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:18,694
We would indeed.
137
00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:20,095
In this particular case,
138
00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:22,965
your lack of femininity
works to our advantage.
139
00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:27,669
It's always nice
chatting with you, Sheldon.
140
00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:29,605
Sarcasm?
141
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,508
Thinly veiled contempt.
142
00:06:32,509 --> 00:06:35,644
Remember: 7:00.
Got it.
143
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,113
Pacific Daylight time!
Bite me!
144
00:06:38,114 --> 00:06:41,884
Please reserve that butch spirit
for the lanes.
145
00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:49,191
(coughs)
146
00:06:49,192 --> 00:06:51,627
I thought you were bringing
your own bowling shoes.
147
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:55,097
These are my own bowling shoes.
148
00:06:55,098 --> 00:06:57,066
Then what's with
the disinfectant?
149
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:59,435
I know where my feet have been.
150
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:04,873
Hey, Penny!
151
00:07:05,442 --> 00:07:07,009
And you guys.
152
00:07:08,445 --> 00:07:11,747
Albino Bob couldn't make it,
so I brought a substitute.
153
00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:13,882
I believe some of you know
154
00:07:13,883 --> 00:07:16,351
Wil Wheaton.
155
00:07:18,421 --> 00:07:20,222
Hi, Sheldon. How's it going?
156
00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:22,858
Well, well, well.
157
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,793
If it isn't Wil Wheaton,
158
00:07:24,794 --> 00:07:27,429
the Green Goblin
to my Spider-Man.
159
00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:29,731
the Pope Paul V
to my Galileo,
160
00:07:29,732 --> 00:07:32,668
the Internet Explorer
to my Firefox.
161
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,403
You're not still
carrying a grudge
162
00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:37,439
because I beat you at
that card tournament, are you?
163
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,874
I'm the proud owner
164
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,076
of WilWheatonstinks.com, .net,
and .org.
165
00:07:41,077 --> 00:07:42,444
What does that tell you?
166
00:07:42,445 --> 00:07:46,248
It tells me that I am
living rent-free right here.
167
00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:48,617
You ready to bowl?
168
00:07:48,618 --> 00:07:50,285
Oh, I'm ready.
169
00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:53,122
I don't know if Stuart told you
what you're up against tonight,
170
00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:55,657
but before you stands
the co-captain of the
171
00:07:55,658 --> 00:08:00,028
East Texas Christian Youth
Holy Roller Bowling League
championship team.
172
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,365
Seven- to 12-year-old division.
173
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:05,767
Also, Penny's
pretty good.
174
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,839
Great. Then it's on.
175
00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:17,579
Oh, foolish Wil Wheaton,
it was never off.
176
00:08:19,883 --> 00:08:21,316
Yes!
177
00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:23,652
A common spare.
178
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:26,889
The Miss Congeniality
of the bowling pageant.
179
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:28,090
Before you jump
on Twitter
180
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,425
to tout your modest
accomplishment,
181
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,895
watch how it's really done.
182
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:36,131
I am the ball.
183
00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:39,234
My thoughts are its thoughts.
184
00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:41,770
Its holes are my holes.
185
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,381
Yes.
186
00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:53,715
Tweet that,
Tweety Bird.
187
00:08:53,716 --> 00:08:57,152
Hey, I just wanted
to tell you
188
00:08:57,153 --> 00:08:58,487
I'm a big fan.
189
00:08:58,488 --> 00:08:59,922
Oh, thanks.
190
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:02,457
I'm sure you're probably sick
of Star Trek questions,
191
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,826
but Whoopi Goldberg--
you ever hit that?
192
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,099
Ah, beer.
193
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:15,003
The magic elixir that can turn
this poor, shy Indian boy
194
00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,272
into the life of the party.
195
00:09:21,911 --> 00:09:23,845
Oh, yeah.
196
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,748
Chili cheese fry?
197
00:09:26,749 --> 00:09:29,351
Yes. I love
chili cheese fries.
198
00:09:29,352 --> 00:09:30,919
Really? You love them?
199
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,054
Yeah, why?
200
00:09:32,055 --> 00:09:34,156
No reason.
I'm just glad to hear
201
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,826
you're comfortable saying
you love something.
202
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,295
Do you really want to get
into this right now?
203
00:09:40,296 --> 00:09:41,964
Get into what?
204
00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:44,066
Why wouldn't you love
the chili cheese fries?
205
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,201
They've been in your
life a long time.
206
00:09:46,202 --> 00:09:47,502
They make you happy.
207
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,204
They deserve to know.
208
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:52,140
Look, you just caught me
by surprise last night.
209
00:09:52,141 --> 00:09:53,775
I didn't know what to say.
210
00:09:53,776 --> 00:09:55,711
Okay, well, now you've had
some time to think about it.
211
00:09:55,712 --> 00:09:56,979
So, what do you want to say?
212
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,313
I'm not sure.
213
00:09:58,314 --> 00:10:00,182
How can you not be sure?
214
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,150
Okay, this isn't the place
to have this conversation.
215
00:10:02,151 --> 00:10:04,486
No, the place to have
the conversation was in bed
216
00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:06,121
after I said, "I love yo""
217
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:08,023
and you said, "Thank you.
Good night""
218
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,192
Don't push it, Leonard.
219
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,094
I am not pushing anything.
You are.
220
00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:14,997
You don't get to decide when
I'm ready to say "I love you!"
221
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:23,405
Ah, the premature
"I love you."
222
00:10:23,406 --> 00:10:27,709
I guessed "premature."
Does that count?
223
00:10:34,095 --> 00:10:35,296
Penny.
224
00:10:36,124 --> 00:10:37,324
Penny.
225
00:10:38,756 --> 00:10:40,957
Penny.
226
00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:43,760
What?
227
00:10:43,761 --> 00:10:45,395
This is for you.
228
00:10:46,831 --> 00:10:48,365
Ice cream?
229
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:51,935
I've been familiarizing myself
with female emotional crises
230
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:55,205
by studying the
comic strip Cathy.
231
00:10:57,108 --> 00:11:01,411
When she's upset, she says,
"Ack!" and eats ice cream.
232
00:11:03,948 --> 00:11:06,049
Um...
233
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,684
Ack!
234
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,856
If you were a cat, I would have
brought you a lasagna.
235
00:11:14,392 --> 00:11:16,359
Did Leonard send you over here?
236
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,061
No, we haven't spoken
237
00:11:18,062 --> 00:11:19,963
since your abrupt departure
last night
238
00:11:19,964 --> 00:11:21,498
caused us to forfeit to Stuart
239
00:11:21,499 --> 00:11:23,767
and his dastardly ringer
Wil Wheaton.
240
00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:25,835
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
241
00:11:25,836 --> 00:11:29,406
I'm not too proud to admit
that I cried myself to sleep.
242
00:11:29,407 --> 00:11:30,574
Again, I'm sorry.
243
00:11:30,575 --> 00:11:32,776
And let me tell you,
sleep did not
244
00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:34,844
come easily with Leonard
in the next room
245
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:37,814
singing along
with Alanis Morrisette.
246
00:11:39,584 --> 00:11:40,850
You're kidding.
247
00:11:40,851 --> 00:11:43,653
No. Clearly another woman
in dire need of ice cream.
248
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,356
All right, Sheldon,
what part of this
249
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:47,824
is supposed to make me
feel better?
250
00:11:47,825 --> 00:11:49,459
The part where
I tell you
251
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:50,860
I've engineered a rematch
252
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:53,163
with Stuart's team
for tonight.
253
00:11:53,164 --> 00:11:55,065
Oh, honey, I don't know.
254
00:11:55,066 --> 00:11:57,000
Things are a little weird
with Leonard right now.
255
00:11:57,001 --> 00:11:59,169
You want me to remove
him from the team?
256
00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:00,971
I'm the captain.
I can do that.
257
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:03,607
No, no, that's okay.
258
00:12:03,608 --> 00:12:06,176
Just let me talk to him,
and I'll get back to you.
259
00:12:06,177 --> 00:12:08,912
When are you going
to talk to him?
260
00:12:08,913 --> 00:12:11,181
I don't know.
261
00:12:11,182 --> 00:12:13,483
He's in the laundry room now.
Now woulbe a good time.
262
00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:16,720
You're not gonna leave me alone
until I do it, are you?
263
00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:20,056
Oh, I think we both know
the answer to that question.
264
00:12:25,963 --> 00:12:27,764
I think we should
talk now.
265
00:12:27,765 --> 00:12:30,467
Wha...? No, it's okay.
266
00:12:30,468 --> 00:12:33,069
We don't have to talk 'cause
there's nothing to talk about.
267
00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:34,104
Everything's good.
268
00:12:34,105 --> 00:12:35,672
Really?
269
00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,173
So, you didn't get all snarky
270
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:40,510
'cause I said somethingice
to a bowl of chili fries?
271
00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:43,613
All right, maybe I overreacted.
272
00:12:43,614 --> 00:12:47,050
So we're in two different places
emotionally. So what?
273
00:12:47,051 --> 00:12:50,020
And maybe I'm a little ahead
of you. That's fine.
274
00:12:50,021 --> 00:12:52,822
In fact, it makes sense,
'cause let's face it,
275
00:12:52,823 --> 00:12:55,792
I've been in this relationship
two years longer than you.
276
00:12:57,762 --> 00:13:01,031
Look, Leonard, you have
how much I care about you.
277
00:13:01,032 --> 00:13:02,932
It's just that I've
said the "L" word
278
00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:06,202
too soon before, and it
didn't work out very well.
279
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:07,837
Really?
280
00:13:07,838 --> 00:13:09,406
I wouldn't know
what that's like.
281
00:13:09,407 --> 00:13:10,740
I'm sorry.
282
00:13:10,741 --> 00:13:12,709
You know what I'm
talking about, though.
283
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:13,677
Yeah, I do.
284
00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:16,112
So, we're good?
285
00:13:16,113 --> 00:13:18,715
Yes, that's what
I'm telling you.
286
00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:20,950
We are good. We are great.
287
00:13:20,951 --> 00:13:23,053
All right! Fence mended,
problem swept under the rug.
288
00:13:23,054 --> 00:13:25,188
Time to bowl!
289
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,590
Yes, I was eavesdropping.
290
00:13:27,591 --> 00:13:29,426
There's a lot at stake here.
291
00:13:32,196 --> 00:13:33,963
Attention, all bowlers:
292
00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:37,467
I've taken the liberty of having
these made for our rematch.
293
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:41,338
"The Wesley Crushers"?
294
00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:42,739
No, not The Wesley Crushers.
295
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,974
The Wesley Crushers.
296
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:46,109
I don't get it.
297
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,344
Wesley Crusher was
298
00:13:47,345 --> 00:13:50,213
Wil Wheaton's character
on Star Trek.
299
00:13:50,214 --> 00:13:51,448
Still don't get it.
300
00:13:51,449 --> 00:13:53,817
It's a blindingly clever play
on words.
301
00:13:53,818 --> 00:13:56,453
By appropriating his character's
name and adding the S,
302
00:13:56,454 --> 00:14:01,124
we imply that we we'll be
the crushers of Wesley.
303
00:14:02,059 --> 00:14:03,326
Okay, I'm sorry, honey,
304
00:14:03,327 --> 00:14:05,562
but The Wesley Crushers sounds
like a bunch of people
305
00:14:05,563 --> 00:14:06,730
who like Wesley Crusher.
306
00:14:06,731 --> 00:14:08,932
No! Again,
it's not the Wesley Crushers.
307
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:11,501
It's the Wesley Crushers.
308
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:16,239
No, if you want it to mean
you're crushing Wesley,
309
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,341
it'd be the Wesley Crushers.
310
00:14:18,342 --> 00:14:20,276
Do you people even hear
yourselves?
311
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,945
It's not The Wesley Crushers.
312
00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:23,279
It's not The Wesley Crushers.
313
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,815
It's The Wesley Crushers.
314
00:14:25,816 --> 00:14:26,916
Hey, look.
315
00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:28,785
They named their team after me.
316
00:14:29,854 --> 00:14:31,321
No, it's not the...
317
00:14:31,322 --> 00:14:32,989
Never mind.
318
00:14:35,259 --> 00:14:39,162
So, we're all clear on the bet
and the stakes?
319
00:14:39,163 --> 00:14:41,931
Oh, yes. The losers will be
publicly humiliated
320
00:14:41,932 --> 00:14:44,200
in a fashion to be chosen
by the victor.
321
00:14:44,201 --> 00:14:48,071
FYI: I plan on having you
publish a scientific paper
322
00:14:48,072 --> 00:14:51,674
expounding the discredited
Velikovsky hypothesis.
323
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:55,011
Ouch again.
324
00:14:56,247 --> 00:14:57,981
Hey, Sheldon,
325
00:14:58,983 --> 00:15:00,450
I just wanted you to know
326
00:15:00,451 --> 00:15:02,485
that I'm really looking forward
to wiping the floor with you.
327
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:03,753
Oh, yes?
328
00:15:03,754 --> 00:15:07,424
Well, before I respond,
let me ask you a question.
329
00:15:07,425 --> 00:15:10,427
Is your mother
a good or poor bowler?
330
00:15:16,867 --> 00:15:17,934
After you.
331
00:15:17,935 --> 00:15:19,969
No, after you... as we are
332
00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:23,773
currently crushing you, Wesley.
333
00:15:25,176 --> 00:15:26,810
It's customary
334
00:15:26,811 --> 00:15:30,180
for the player on the right-hand
lane to bowl first.
335
00:15:31,449 --> 00:15:33,483
All right.
336
00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:43,460
It's a custom, not a rule.
337
00:15:43,461 --> 00:15:46,796
I so loathe you.
338
00:15:46,797 --> 00:15:48,865
That's right, Sheldon.
339
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:51,201
Embrace the dark side.
340
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,172
That's not even
from your franchise!
341
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:59,042
I, um, I want you
to know that
342
00:15:59,043 --> 00:16:02,479
even though we're
on opposite sides,
343
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,714
I, I bear you no ill will.
344
00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:07,183
Thank you, Stuart.
It's nice to know.
345
00:16:07,184 --> 00:16:08,485
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
346
00:16:08,486 --> 00:16:10,019
People from
opposite sides
347
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:11,654
often have good
relationships.
348
00:16:11,655 --> 00:16:13,356
You know,
Romeo and Juliet...
349
00:16:13,357 --> 00:16:16,092
Tony and Maria
from West Side Story,
350
00:16:16,093 --> 00:16:21,164
what's-his-name and the
big blue chick in Avatar.
351
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:24,400
I'm gonna bowl now.
352
00:16:27,338 --> 00:16:29,172
Be the ball, Howard.
353
00:16:29,173 --> 00:16:31,741
Leave me alone, Sheldon.
354
00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:41,784
You weren't the ball.
355
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:45,722
PENNY:
Hey, thanks.
356
00:16:45,723 --> 00:16:47,023
This is fun, huh?
357
00:16:47,024 --> 00:16:48,324
Yeah.
358
00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:50,393
It's good that we got out
and did something physical.
359
00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:52,862
Mm-hmm.
Gets us out of our heads.
360
00:16:52,863 --> 00:16:54,364
You get in your head,
361
00:16:54,365 --> 00:16:56,065
you start to overthink,
overanalyze,
362
00:16:56,066 --> 00:16:57,367
obsess, you worry.
363
00:16:57,368 --> 00:16:58,868
That's not what
we're doing tonight.
364
00:16:58,869 --> 00:17:00,870
Tonight we're just throwing
a ball at some pins.
365
00:17:00,871 --> 00:17:02,305
Yeah, that's right.
366
00:17:02,306 --> 00:17:04,007
Mm-hmm, and someday--
we don't know when--
367
00:17:04,008 --> 00:17:05,708
maybe you'll love me back.
368
00:17:08,078 --> 00:17:09,279
Ooh, I'm up.
369
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:15,151
ALL (chanting):
Shel-don! Shel-don!
Shel-don! Shel-don!
370
00:17:15,152 --> 00:17:16,753
Excuse me.
371
00:17:16,754 --> 00:17:21,124
I don't know who you're chanting
for as I am currently the ball.
372
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,894
The ball! The ball!
373
00:17:24,895 --> 00:17:30,400
The ball! The ball!
The ball! The ball!
374
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:33,303
Thank you, Jesus!
375
00:17:35,506 --> 00:17:37,407
As my mother would say.
376
00:17:42,212 --> 00:17:43,680
I'm glad you
patched things up
377
00:17:43,681 --> 00:17:45,014
with your boyfriend.
378
00:17:45,015 --> 00:17:47,083
Oh, yeah, me, too.
379
00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:49,118
It's always tough when
the "L" bomb gets dropped
380
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:50,753
and you're not
ready for it.
381
00:17:50,754 --> 00:17:52,221
Tell me about it.
382
00:17:52,222 --> 00:17:54,023
I dated this one girl,
383
00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:56,926
and I told her
that I loved her,
384
00:17:56,927 --> 00:17:59,262
and she said
she wasn't sure.
385
00:17:59,263 --> 00:18:02,198
And she strung me along
for almost two years.
386
00:18:02,199 --> 00:18:03,466
It was brutal.
387
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:05,468
Oh, I'm sorry.
388
00:18:05,469 --> 00:18:06,669
Thanks.
389
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:09,539
I wish she had just broken up
with me right there,
390
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,008
and put me out
of my misery.
391
00:18:12,009 --> 00:18:13,009
Really?
392
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:14,410
Yeah, would have
been kinder.
393
00:18:14,411 --> 00:18:15,712
Wil, you're up.
394
00:18:15,713 --> 00:18:17,347
Oh, that's me.
395
00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:24,587
Did you let Wil Wheaton
get in your head?
396
00:18:24,588 --> 00:18:25,855
What are you talking about?
397
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,658
He's evil.
He plays evil mind games.
398
00:18:28,659 --> 00:18:30,526
Did he tell you
his grandmother died?
399
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,594
No!
400
00:18:31,595 --> 00:18:33,396
Well, if he does,
don't believe it.
401
00:18:33,397 --> 00:18:36,032
He's not above playing
the dead meemaw card.
402
00:18:39,370 --> 00:18:41,437
Yes!
(grunts)
403
00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:43,940
Enjoy the accolades now,
Wil Wheaton,
404
00:18:43,941 --> 00:18:46,075
but like your time
on Star Trek: Next Generation,
405
00:18:46,076 --> 00:18:49,545
your smug self-satisfaction
will be short-lived.
406
00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:52,215
Penny, you're up.
407
00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:54,283
All right, remember,
his meemaw's alive
408
00:18:54,284 --> 00:18:55,451
and be the ball.
409
00:18:55,452 --> 00:18:57,353
Yeah, I got it.
410
00:18:57,354 --> 00:18:58,888
We really need
a strike here.
411
00:18:58,889 --> 00:18:59,856
I know.
412
00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:01,724
So just take your time
and concentrate.
413
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:02,692
Leonard, stop pressuring me.
414
00:19:02,693 --> 00:19:03,760
I'm not pressuring you.
415
00:19:03,761 --> 00:19:05,628
Yeah, you are!
Just back off!
416
00:19:05,629 --> 00:19:07,397
Okay, I'm sorry.
417
00:19:07,398 --> 00:19:08,431
I'll shut up.
418
00:19:08,432 --> 00:19:09,799
(sighs)
419
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,101
I didn't mean "shut up."
420
00:19:12,102 --> 00:19:16,072
Fine. Just tell me what to do,
and I'll do it.
421
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:18,908
(sighs):
No...
422
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:20,076
this isn't fair
423
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:21,778
to you, Leonard. I'm sorry.
424
00:19:23,113 --> 00:19:24,447
Wait! Where are you going?
425
00:19:24,448 --> 00:19:25,782
Penny, come back!
426
00:19:25,783 --> 00:19:27,150
I'll get you ice cream!
427
00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:29,452
No, let her go.
428
00:19:29,453 --> 00:19:30,586
Are you insane?
429
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,789
If she leaves, it's over!
430
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:36,125
I'm pretty sure
it's already over.
431
00:19:36,126 --> 00:19:38,861
Tough luck, Sheldon.
432
00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:42,765
You did this, didn't you?
433
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,934
Do you think I would
really break up a couple
434
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:46,335
just to win
a bowling match?
435
00:19:46,336 --> 00:19:48,705
No, I suppose not.
436
00:19:48,706 --> 00:19:50,773
Good. Keep thinking that.
437
00:19:54,378 --> 00:19:56,946
Whea-ton!
438
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:03,621
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah,
I'm telling you,
439
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:08,124
the Match.com chicks are much
looser than on eHarmony.
440
00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:12,428
You know,
I-I gotta call you back.
441
00:20:12,429 --> 00:20:15,064
I won a bet,
and it's time to collect.
442
00:20:28,545 --> 00:20:31,781
I don't know about you,
but I feel empowered.
443
00:20:31,782 --> 00:20:34,150
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