1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,737
Okay, we've got
power to the laser.
2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,839
I should've brought
an umbrella.
3
00:00:07,211 --> 00:00:08,511
What for?
It's not going to rain.
4
00:00:08,512 --> 00:00:11,047
I know that, but with
skin as fair as mine,
5
00:00:11,048 --> 00:00:14,450
moon burn is a
real possibility.
6
00:00:14,451 --> 00:00:16,151
That's a "bazinga," right?
7
00:00:16,152 --> 00:00:18,820
One of my best,
don't you think?
8
00:00:18,821 --> 00:00:20,354
(forced giggle)
9
00:00:21,796 --> 00:00:23,202
Howard, do you want
to double-check
10
00:00:23,203 --> 00:00:24,500
the equatorial mount
on the laser?
11
00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:26,488
We need it locked onto
the Sea of Tranquility.
12
00:00:26,489 --> 00:00:27,914
You got it.
13
00:00:27,915 --> 00:00:30,061
Oh, Raj, no.
14
00:00:30,062 --> 00:00:33,158
Billions of dollars have gone
into inventing the Internet
15
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,164
and filling it
with pictures of naked women,
16
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:37,951
so we don't have
to peep through windows.
17
00:00:37,952 --> 00:00:39,301
It's not like that.
18
00:00:39,302 --> 00:00:40,417
I'm watching someone's TV.
19
00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:42,013
The Good Wife is on.
20
00:00:43,776 --> 00:00:48,195
I tell you, this is
my new Grey's Anatomy.
21
00:00:48,196 --> 00:00:49,140
Leonard, Leonard.
22
00:00:49,141 --> 00:00:50,285
What is that?
What is that?
23
00:00:50,286 --> 00:00:53,586
Relax, it's just a dirty sock.
24
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,817
How on earth
can you say
25
00:00:55,818 --> 00:00:58,473
"dirty sock" and "relax"
in the same sentence?
26
00:00:58,474 --> 00:01:02,951
Sheldon, the world is filled
with dirty discarded socks.
27
00:01:02,952 --> 00:01:05,163
Not my world.
28
00:01:06,832 --> 00:01:10,035
Hey, you know who'd really dig
seeing this experiment? Penny.
29
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:13,591
I wasn't aware that
lunar ranging was her thing.
30
00:01:13,592 --> 00:01:16,580
Although, I suppose the
retro-reflector left on the moon
31
00:01:16,581 --> 00:01:20,307
by Neil Armstrong
does qualify as a shiny object.
32
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,860
Why don't you
ask her to come up?
33
00:01:22,861 --> 00:01:23,761
I don't know, it's still
34
00:01:23,762 --> 00:01:25,140
a little weird
since, you know...
35
00:01:25,141 --> 00:01:26,780
She dumped you?
She didn't dump me.
36
00:01:26,781 --> 00:01:29,798
We were just in different places
in the relationship.
37
00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:31,544
I fail to see how a relationship
38
00:01:31,545 --> 00:01:35,000
can have the qualities
of a geographic location.
39
00:01:35,001 --> 00:01:35,939
Oh, it's very simple.
40
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,512
Leonard was living
in a little town
41
00:01:37,513 --> 00:01:39,156
called "Please don't leave me"
42
00:01:39,157 --> 00:01:43,311
while Penny had just moved
to the island of "Buh-bye."
43
00:01:45,790 --> 00:01:46,966
Screw you guys.
44
00:01:46,967 --> 00:01:48,472
I'm gonna go see if she's home.
45
00:01:48,473 --> 00:01:50,183
If it's not
too much trouble,
46
00:01:50,184 --> 00:01:52,158
I'd like to point this
at the moon now.
47
00:01:52,159 --> 00:01:53,195
Wait a second.
48
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,072
The good wife is crying.
49
00:01:56,111 --> 00:01:57,849
Something's very wrong.
50
00:01:59,225 --> 00:02:02,540
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
51
00:02:02,541 --> 00:02:06,225
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
52
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,864
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
53
00:02:07,865 --> 00:02:10,409
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
54
00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:13,091
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
55
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:15,769
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
56
00:02:15,770 --> 00:02:17,680
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
57
00:02:17,681 --> 00:02:18,655
♪ Bang! ♪
58
00:02:18,665 --> 00:02:22,665
The Big Bang Theory 3x23
The Lunar Excitation
Original Air Date on May 24, 2010
59
00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:25,975
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
60
00:02:27,025 --> 00:02:28,325
Oh, hi.
What's going on?
61
00:02:28,392 --> 00:02:31,194
We're up on the roof bouncing
laser beams off the moon.
62
00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,296
I'm sorry, what?
63
00:02:33,297 --> 00:02:34,697
It's pretty cool.
64
00:02:34,698 --> 00:02:36,165
We've got a two-meter parabolic
reflector and everything.
65
00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:37,699
I thought you might
want to see it.
66
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:38,800
MAN:
That makes no sense.
67
00:02:38,801 --> 00:02:40,335
Um...
68
00:02:40,336 --> 00:02:42,269
How can you bounce
stuff off the moon?
69
00:02:42,270 --> 00:02:44,937
There's no gravity.
70
00:02:44,938 --> 00:02:46,205
PENNY:
Uh, Leonard,
71
00:02:46,206 --> 00:02:48,575
this is Zack.
Zack, Leonard.
Hey.
72
00:02:48,576 --> 00:02:50,807
Oh, sorry, I didn't know you
were busy. Maybe another time.
73
00:02:50,808 --> 00:02:51,805
Yeah, maybe.
74
00:02:51,806 --> 00:02:53,398
Hey, I want to see
this laser thing.
75
00:02:53,399 --> 00:02:55,118
Oh, but what about
the party?
76
00:02:55,119 --> 00:03:01,174
It's a surprise party-- doesn't
matter when we get there.
77
00:03:01,175 --> 00:03:02,886
Okay, well, yeah, come on up.
78
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:10,233
So, how'd you two guys meet?
79
00:03:10,836 --> 00:03:13,010
My company designs the menus doesn't
for the Cheesecake Factory.
80
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:15,840
Your company?
Well,, my dad, but...
81
00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:17,270
but me and my sister are VPs.
82
00:03:18,852 --> 00:03:20,957
So... menus.
83
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:24,687
I know it sounds easy but there's a lot
of science that goes in designing one.
84
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:33,623
Happy now? I'm moving the dirty sock.
85
00:03:36,009 --> 00:03:36,962
Thank you.
86
00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:40,886
Raj, keep an eye out
for other one.
87
00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:43,486
Hey, guys, this is
my friend Zack.
88
00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:44,340
Hey.
89
00:03:44,341 --> 00:03:45,827
Hello.
ZACK:
Whoa!
90
00:03:45,828 --> 00:03:46,947
Ist the laser?
91
00:03:46,948 --> 00:03:48,720
It's bitchin'.
92
00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:50,126
Yes.
93
00:03:50,127 --> 00:03:53,320
In 1917, when Albert Einstein
established
94
00:03:53,321 --> 00:03:55,812
the theoretic foundation
for the laser in his paper
95
00:03:55,813 --> 00:03:58,706
"Zur Quantentheorie der
Strahlung," his fondest hope
96
00:03:58,707 --> 00:04:01,899
was that the resultant device
be bitchin'.
97
00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:04,792
Well, mission
accomplished.
98
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,733
Let me explain
what we're doing here.
99
00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:10,653
Um, in 1969,
100
00:04:10,654 --> 00:04:12,393
the astronauts
on Apollo 11
101
00:04:12,394 --> 00:04:14,099
positioned reflectors
on the surface of the moon,
102
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,672
and we're going to
shoot a laser off
103
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,512
one of them
and let the light bounce back
104
00:04:17,513 --> 00:04:18,966
into this photomultiplier.
105
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,705
Oh! That's very cool.
106
00:04:20,706 --> 00:04:21,859
ZACK:
One question.
107
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:24,985
How can you be sure
it won't blow up?
108
00:04:24,986 --> 00:04:26,005
The laser?
109
00:04:26,006 --> 00:04:27,345
The moon.
110
00:04:31,039 --> 00:04:33,512
See, now this is
a man for Penny.
111
00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,958
That's a great
question, Zack.
112
00:04:36,959 --> 00:04:37,811
No, it's not.
113
00:04:37,812 --> 00:04:38,798
PENNY:
Sheldon!
114
00:04:38,799 --> 00:04:40,118
Play nice.
115
00:04:40,119 --> 00:04:41,372
It's not a great question.
116
00:04:41,373 --> 00:04:42,778
How could somebody
possibly think
117
00:04:42,779 --> 00:04:44,517
we're going to
blow up the moon?
118
00:04:45,538 --> 00:04:48,531
That's a great question.
119
00:04:49,351 --> 00:04:50,437
Don't worry about the moon.
120
00:04:50,438 --> 00:04:52,777
We-We set our laser to stun.
121
00:04:52,778 --> 00:04:54,818
Smart.
122
00:04:56,033 --> 00:04:57,971
Now, we'll be able to see
the beam when it leaves,
123
00:04:57,972 --> 00:04:59,711
but it won't be strong enough
when it comes back
124
00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:00,850
to be seen by the naked eye.
125
00:05:00,851 --> 00:05:02,823
Naked.
(laughs)
126
00:05:06,971 --> 00:05:09,177
Right. Uh... funny.
127
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:11,837
Uh, that device,
there, will measure
the photons that return
128
00:05:11,838 --> 00:05:14,077
and let us see it
on this computer.
129
00:05:14,078 --> 00:05:15,950
Raj, get them
some glasses.
130
00:05:15,951 --> 00:05:18,309
Cool, it's gonna
be in 3-D?
131
00:05:24,951 --> 00:05:27,910
Preparing to fire laser
at the moon.
132
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,430
Make it so.
133
00:05:29,431 --> 00:05:31,537
(metallic thumping)
134
00:05:31,538 --> 00:05:33,630
(thumping stops)
135
00:05:33,631 --> 00:05:35,117
There it is.
There's the spike!
136
00:05:35,118 --> 00:05:37,090
2.5 seconds for the
light to return.
137
00:05:37,091 --> 00:05:38,630
That's the moon!
We hit the moon!
138
00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:40,736
(laughter, shouting)
139
00:05:43,245 --> 00:05:44,664
That's your big experiment?
140
00:05:44,665 --> 00:05:47,091
All that for
a line on the screen?
141
00:05:47,092 --> 00:05:48,511
LEONARD:
Yeah, but, uh,
142
00:05:48,512 --> 00:05:49,917
think about
what this represents.
143
00:05:49,918 --> 00:05:50,937
The fact that
144
00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:53,177
we can do this
is the only way
145
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:55,050
of definitively proving
that there are man-made objects
146
00:05:55,051 --> 00:05:57,643
on the moon, put there
by a member of a species
147
00:05:57,644 --> 00:06:00,803
that only 60 years before
had just invented the airplane.
148
00:06:00,804 --> 00:06:02,829
What species is that?
149
00:06:05,504 --> 00:06:06,656
I was wrong.
150
00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,682
Penny can do better.
151
00:06:08,683 --> 00:06:11,089
Okay, guys, thank you,
it's been fun.
Yeah, thanks.
152
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:14,301
Should we invite
them to the party?
No, just keep walking.
153
00:06:16,651 --> 00:06:19,644
He must be very
skilled at coitus.
154
00:06:22,119 --> 00:06:24,277
I'm telling you, dude,
the only way
155
00:06:24,278 --> 00:06:26,984
to feel better about Penny
going out with other guys
156
00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:30,530
is for you to get back
on the whores.
157
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,690
Horse.
158
00:06:33,691 --> 00:06:34,743
What?
159
00:06:34,744 --> 00:06:36,517
The phrase is "get
back on the horse,"
160
00:06:36,518 --> 00:06:38,843
not "whores."
161
00:06:39,429 --> 00:06:41,668
That's disgusting, dude.
162
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,294
No, it's not...
(stammering)
163
00:06:44,295 --> 00:06:46,434
Never mind.
164
00:06:46,435 --> 00:06:47,521
He is right, though.
165
00:06:47,522 --> 00:06:50,147
If you want, I can turn
you on to this great new
166
00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:52,187
dating site I found.
No, thanks.
167
00:06:52,188 --> 00:06:54,327
You sure? They say they can
find a match for anybody.
168
00:06:54,970 --> 00:06:56,542
Have they found
a match for you?
169
00:06:56,543 --> 00:06:59,435
Tons. I've had, like, eight
dates in the last month.
170
00:06:59,436 --> 00:07:03,370
And 12 if you count the ones
who showed up and left.
171
00:07:03,371 --> 00:07:05,072
I can't bring
the nitrogen tank down.
172
00:07:05,073 --> 00:07:07,216
Why not?
All right, let me restate that.
173
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:09,245
It's very heavy,
and I don't want to.
174
00:07:10,943 --> 00:07:11,885
I'll help you.
175
00:07:11,886 --> 00:07:13,136
Thank you.
176
00:07:13,606 --> 00:07:16,496
Lift with your knees,
not your back.
177
00:07:16,497 --> 00:07:18,496
Good night.
178
00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:22,528
You know what
would be fun?
179
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,842
Signing Sheldon up
for online dating.
(chuckles)
180
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:26,848
Yeah, right.
181
00:07:26,849 --> 00:07:27,826
No, think about it.
182
00:07:27,827 --> 00:07:29,137
We make it an
experiment.
183
00:07:29,138 --> 00:07:30,549
Like when
Frankenstein's monster
184
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,448
was lonely and
he found a wife.
185
00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:35,568
He didn't find a wife.
186
00:07:35,569 --> 00:07:39,208
They built him a wife
out of dead body parts.
187
00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:42,307
Okay, we'll call
that plan B.
188
00:07:44,762 --> 00:07:46,673
(knocking)
189
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,877
(knocking continues)
190
00:07:48,878 --> 00:07:50,846
Coming!
191
00:07:53,382 --> 00:07:56,317
Damn you, you rat bastard.
192
00:07:56,318 --> 00:07:58,018
Are you drunk?
193
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:01,488
Zack was a perfectly nice guy,
and then you ruined him!
194
00:08:01,589 --> 00:08:03,256
How did I ruin him?
195
00:08:03,384 --> 00:08:04,684
'Cause in the olden days,
196
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:08,221
I never would've known
he was so stupid.
197
00:08:10,602 --> 00:08:13,136
Come on, he wasn't
that stupid.
198
00:08:13,137 --> 00:08:14,237
Yes, he was!
199
00:08:14,238 --> 00:08:16,072
He thought you were
gonna blow up the moon!
200
00:08:15,864 --> 00:08:18,831
(chuckling):
Okay, yeah, he's stupid.
201
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:22,178
He spent the entire
night bragging
202
00:08:22,179 --> 00:08:25,847
about how he invented
the word "appe-tease."
203
00:08:27,316 --> 00:08:28,750
(chuckling quietly)
204
00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:31,118
How is that my fault?
205
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:34,121
You have destroyed my ability
to tolerate idiots.
206
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,522
Now, come with me.
207
00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:36,757
Wh-Where are we going?
208
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:38,124
We're gonna have sex.
209
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:40,326
Why? I mean, okay.
210
00:08:41,762 --> 00:08:43,729
What's going on?
211
00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,664
Put on your noise-
canceling headphones,
212
00:08:45,665 --> 00:08:47,832
'cause it's
gonna get loud.
213
00:08:49,401 --> 00:08:52,670
Oh! Not this again.
214
00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:10,691
In what universe
is this low-pulp?
215
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,395
Good morning, Penny.
216
00:09:14,396 --> 00:09:17,130
What, do you have eyes
in the back of your head?
217
00:09:17,131 --> 00:09:19,900
When one gets beaten up
every other day in school,
218
00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:23,003
one of necessity develops
a keen sense of hearing.
219
00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:26,240
Incidentally, one can
get beaten up in school
220
00:09:26,241 --> 00:09:29,376
simply by referring
to oneself as "one."
221
00:09:29,377 --> 00:09:30,678
I'm making
English muffins.
222
00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,214
Would you like
an English muffin?
223
00:09:33,215 --> 00:09:35,750
Oh, thanks, I'm not hungry.
FYI,
224
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:39,649
my noise-canceling headphones
proved ineffective last night.
225
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:42,681
Yeah, sorry about that.
As a native Texan,
226
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,350
I must say I've never heard
the phrase "yee-haw"
227
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,418
used in quite that context.
228
00:09:47,419 --> 00:09:49,386
Oh, God.
229
00:09:50,488 --> 00:09:52,522
"Oh, God."
230
00:09:52,523 --> 00:09:55,824
That I've heard
on multiple occasions.
231
00:09:59,695 --> 00:10:03,333
In what universe
is that lightly toasted?
232
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:05,971
(scoffs)
233
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:08,640
This has to be
the worst day of my life.
234
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:11,542
Good morning, Leonard.
235
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:14,745
How many times have
I asked you not to do that?
236
00:10:14,746 --> 00:10:18,614
Counting this instance? 317.
237
00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:21,049
Where's Penny?
238
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:23,051
She returned
to her apartment.
239
00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:25,253
I presume to shower and vomit.
240
00:10:25,254 --> 00:10:28,054
Not necessarily in that order.
241
00:10:28,055 --> 00:10:29,823
I wonder why
she didn't say good-bye.
242
00:10:29,824 --> 00:10:34,827
Are you expecting me to offer an
explanation of human behavior?
243
00:10:34,828 --> 00:10:36,796
I know. I just
thought as an outsider,
244
00:10:36,797 --> 00:10:39,465
you might be able to provide
a fresh perspective.
245
00:10:43,236 --> 00:10:47,906
I have no difficulty
believing you're not butter.
246
00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:52,110
Oh, hey.
Oh, hi.
247
00:10:52,111 --> 00:10:54,045
Um, I gotta run.
Early shift.
248
00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:55,814
Okay, I'll walk
down with you.
249
00:10:55,815 --> 00:10:57,716
So, last night was
fun, huh?
250
00:10:57,717 --> 00:10:59,117
Yeah, it must have been.
251
00:10:59,118 --> 00:11:02,552
I just threw up
in my closet.
252
00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:03,586
Bummer.
253
00:11:03,587 --> 00:11:05,321
Anyway, I was thinking
tonight maybe
254
00:11:05,322 --> 00:11:06,688
we could catch a movie.
255
00:11:06,689 --> 00:11:08,589
Oh, yeah, tonight's
not great for me.
256
00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:10,057
Doesn't have
to be tonight.
257
00:11:10,058 --> 00:11:12,392
I'm free
pretty much always.
258
00:11:12,393 --> 00:11:15,261
Leonard, last night
was a mistake.
259
00:11:15,262 --> 00:11:18,230
When you say "mistake,"
do you mean a fortunate mistake,
260
00:11:18,231 --> 00:11:21,332
like the discovery
of penicillin?
261
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:22,933
Look, I'm sorry.
262
00:11:22,934 --> 00:11:25,503
I was drunk, I was lonely,
I hated Zack.
263
00:11:25,504 --> 00:11:27,338
Can we just forget
it ever happened?
264
00:11:27,339 --> 00:11:30,540
No, it's pretty well imprinted
on my brain.
265
00:11:30,541 --> 00:11:33,009
Especially
the whole rodeo thing.
266
00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:34,677
Oh, God!
267
00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:35,978
So, that's it?
268
00:11:35,979 --> 00:11:37,579
Wham, bam, thank you, Leonard?
269
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:40,148
Look, I said I'm sorry.
Can't u please let it go?
270
00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:41,748
How am I supposed to let it go?
271
00:11:41,749 --> 00:11:43,617
You used me for sex!
272
00:11:46,822 --> 00:11:49,157
Morning, Mrs. Gunderson.
273
00:11:49,158 --> 00:11:50,725
Good morning, Leonard.
274
00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:53,895
Or should I say "yee-haw"?
275
00:12:00,935 --> 00:12:03,503
Holy crap.
What?
276
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:07,707
We finally have proof
that aliens walk among us.
277
00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:08,841
Excuse me?
278
00:12:08,842 --> 00:12:11,710
The dating site matched a woman
with Sheldon.
279
00:12:11,711 --> 00:12:13,211
You're kidding.
280
00:12:13,212 --> 00:12:14,412
An actual woman?
281
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:17,713
Yeah, look.
Breasts and everything.
282
00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:20,982
Trust me, breasts doesn'
necessarily mean woman.
283
00:12:20,983 --> 00:12:23,350
Since when?
I'll show you a picture
284
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:26,386
Trust of my Uncle Louie in a
bathing suit sometime.
285
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,723
Leonard,
you gotta see this.
286
00:12:29,724 --> 00:12:31,425
We found a match
for Sheldon.
287
00:12:31,426 --> 00:12:32,726
LEONARD:
Great.
288
00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:35,328
Maybe she can have sex with him,
and then walk out on him
289
00:12:35,329 --> 00:12:38,364
the next morning without so much
as a "How do you do?"
290
00:12:38,365 --> 00:12:39,798
Do you know what
he's talking about?
291
00:12:39,799 --> 00:12:40,999
Nope.
Why don't you ask him?
292
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,167
Leonard, what are you talking
about?
293
00:12:42,168 --> 00:12:43,369
I don't want
to talk about it.
294
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:45,705
That was
a lousy suggestion.
295
00:12:45,706 --> 00:12:47,573
Whatever.
Right now,
296
00:12:47,574 --> 00:12:50,108
Dr. Sheldon Cooper has
to send an e-mail
297
00:12:50,109 --> 00:12:51,842
to his perfect match.
298
00:12:51,843 --> 00:12:55,111
"Greetings,
fellow life-form..."
299
00:12:55,112 --> 00:12:56,612
(giggles)
300
00:12:57,848 --> 00:13:01,684
If she can do it, I can do it.
If she can do it, I can do it.
301
00:13:01,685 --> 00:13:03,787
If she can do it, I can do it.
302
00:13:03,788 --> 00:13:05,690
I can't do it.
303
00:13:07,059 --> 00:13:09,294
Hello?
(stammering)
Oh, hi. Hey.
304
00:13:09,295 --> 00:13:10,629
Hi, Leslie.
305
00:13:12,398 --> 00:13:14,432
Leonard Hofstadter.
What're you doing here?
306
00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:16,765
Uh, I know!
It's been a while!
307
00:13:16,766 --> 00:13:18,132
Yeah, 18 months.
308
00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:20,500
Right. Right.
309
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:23,402
So how you doing?
310
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,436
Fine. You?
311
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:26,837
Uh, not bad.
312
00:13:26,838 --> 00:13:29,406
You remember when
we used to have sex
313
00:13:29,407 --> 00:13:32,640
and you said that it didn't mean
anything, it was just for fun?
314
00:13:32,641 --> 00:13:33,641
Yeah.
315
00:13:33,642 --> 00:13:37,078
You, uh, want
to do that again?
316
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:40,621
What happened?
Blondie dumped you?
317
00:13:40,622 --> 00:13:41,788
She didn't dump me.
318
00:13:41,789 --> 00:13:44,157
We were just in different places
in the relationship.
319
00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:45,591
Right.
320
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,960
Um... anyway,
apparently,
321
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,529
it's okay to go back to people
you're no longer seeing
322
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,664
and have recreational sex
with them.
323
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,598
Uh-huh.
324
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:56,334
So, what do you say?
325
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,469
Let me think about it.
326
00:13:59,304 --> 00:14:00,471
(slams)
327
00:14:05,408 --> 00:14:08,577
She's not coming back.
328
00:14:09,779 --> 00:14:11,980
Uh-oh.
329
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:13,948
She wants to meet us.
330
00:14:13,949 --> 00:14:15,483
Not us. Him.
331
00:14:15,484 --> 00:14:17,885
Yes, but him doesn't
even know about her.
332
00:14:17,886 --> 00:14:20,987
Well, him about to
find out about her.
333
00:14:20,988 --> 00:14:23,256
Really? Us gonna tell him?
334
00:14:23,257 --> 00:14:25,291
Who's going to tell
whom about what?
335
00:14:25,292 --> 00:14:26,459
Sheldon.
336
00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:28,027
Hey. Hi.
337
00:14:28,028 --> 00:14:30,028
Your surprise confuses me.
338
00:14:30,029 --> 00:14:32,097
I live here.
339
00:14:32,932 --> 00:14:34,365
Right.
340
00:14:34,366 --> 00:14:38,169
So, listen, what are you doing
tomorrow afternoon?
341
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:39,603
Be more specific.
342
00:14:39,604 --> 00:14:40,804
4:30.
343
00:14:40,805 --> 00:14:42,039
That's not afternoon.
344
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,507
That's preevning.
345
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,509
What?
346
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,177
It's a time of day I invented.
347
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,713
It better defines
the ambiguous period
348
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:53,283
between afternoon and evening:
preevning.
349
00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:56,886
I'm fairly certain it will catch
on as it fills a desperate need.
350
00:14:56,887 --> 00:14:58,354
Right, okay.
351
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,757
What are you doing
tomorrow preevning?
352
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:02,292
Well, tomorrow's Saturday.
353
00:15:02,293 --> 00:15:04,059
Saturday night is laundry night.
354
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:07,126
So I'll be spending
the preevning pre-sorting
355
00:15:07,127 --> 00:15:08,658
and pre-soaking.
356
00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:12,360
Okay, what if I
were to tell you,
tomorrow, at 4:30,
357
00:15:12,361 --> 00:15:14,962
you could meet a woman who has
been scientifically chosen
358
00:15:14,963 --> 00:15:16,930
to be your perfect mate?
359
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:20,266
I would snort in derision
and throw my arms in the air,
360
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:24,069
exhausted
by your constant tomfoolery.
361
00:15:24,070 --> 00:15:25,571
But it's true.
362
00:15:25,572 --> 00:15:27,339
(snorts)
363
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:30,175
But we-we put all
your vital information
364
00:15:30,176 --> 00:15:31,376
into this dating site,
365
00:15:31,377 --> 00:15:33,477
answered all their questions
just like you would,
366
00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:35,312
and they found
a match for you.
367
00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:37,547
Her name is
Amy Farrah Fowler.
368
00:15:37,548 --> 00:15:38,949
Please.
369
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:40,750
Even assuming
you could answer any question
370
00:15:40,751 --> 00:15:42,551
the way I would,
the algorithms used
371
00:15:42,552 --> 00:15:44,987
by matchmaking sites
are complete hokum.
372
00:15:44,988 --> 00:15:47,222
And that's exactly the answer
we gave to the question:
373
00:15:47,223 --> 00:15:48,890
"What is your attitude
towards online dating?"
374
00:15:48,891 --> 00:15:52,827
Howard wanted to write
"mumbo jumbo," but I said no.
375
00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:56,563
Our Sheldon would
say "hokum."
376
00:15:58,466 --> 00:16:00,933
Come on, where's your
scientific curiosity?
377
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:02,367
Well, most of it
is being applied
378
00:16:02,368 --> 00:16:03,902
to unraveling the secrets
of the universe
379
00:16:03,903 --> 00:16:05,437
while the rest of it's
wondering why
380
00:16:05,438 --> 00:16:07,372
I'm having this conversation
with you.
381
00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:09,341
Okay, how about this.
382
00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:13,078
Even Spock had a date
once every seven years.
383
00:16:13,079 --> 00:16:14,246
He didn't date.
384
00:16:14,247 --> 00:16:15,514
It was pon farr.
385
00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:17,882
His blood boiled
with mating lust.
386
00:16:17,883 --> 00:16:20,652
Well, why-why don't you
start with a cup of coffee,
387
00:16:20,653 --> 00:16:24,622
and you can pon farr
Amy Farrah Fowler later.
388
00:16:24,623 --> 00:16:26,157
I don't drink coffee.
389
00:16:26,158 --> 00:16:28,124
All right, you can
have a hot chocolate.
390
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:30,290
As I will not be engaging
in this nonsense,
391
00:16:30,291 --> 00:16:31,689
my choice of beverage is moot.
392
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:32,757
But for the record,
393
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,125
I only drink hot chocolate
394
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,260
in months with an "R" in them.
395
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,895
Why?
396
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:40,064
What's life without whimsy?
397
00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:44,534
Okay, I'm out.
398
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:49,770
(sighs)
399
00:16:49,771 --> 00:16:53,406
Sheldon, I've hidden
the dirty sock
400
00:16:53,407 --> 00:16:55,808
from the roof somewhere
in your apartment.
401
00:16:57,910 --> 00:17:00,611
Unless you are willing to come
with us to meet this girl,
402
00:17:00,612 --> 00:17:02,780
it will remain there forever.
403
00:17:04,282 --> 00:17:06,149
You're bluffing.
404
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,317
Are you willing to risk it?
405
00:17:09,219 --> 00:17:11,620
Curse you.
406
00:17:30,941 --> 00:17:33,409
(bottle shattering)
407
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:36,312
30 feet.
408
00:17:41,717 --> 00:17:43,251
(sighs)
409
00:17:43,252 --> 00:17:45,553
Oh. Hey, Leonard.
410
00:17:45,554 --> 00:17:49,155
I was a perfectly happy,
geeky, little lonely guy,
411
00:17:49,156 --> 00:17:52,123
and you ruined me!
412
00:17:52,124 --> 00:17:54,024
Are you drunk?
413
00:17:54,025 --> 00:17:56,760
Come on. We're gonna have sex,
and it's not gonna mean a thing!
414
00:17:56,761 --> 00:18:00,229
Are you out
of your mind?!
415
00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:02,298
(door slams)
416
00:18:02,299 --> 00:18:05,868
I'm really starting to think
there's a double standard here.
417
00:18:11,471 --> 00:18:12,772
In a few minutes,
418
00:18:12,806 --> 00:18:15,574
when I gloat over the
failure of this enterprise,
419
00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:17,442
how would you
prefer I do it?
420
00:18:17,443 --> 00:18:18,777
The standard
"I told you so"?
421
00:18:18,778 --> 00:18:20,412
The classic
"neener-neener"?
422
00:18:20,413 --> 00:18:23,181
Or just my normal look
of haughty derision?
423
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:26,984
You don't know
we're wrong yet.
424
00:18:26,985 --> 00:18:29,920
Haughty derision it is.
425
00:18:29,921 --> 00:18:31,254
WOMAN:
Excuse me.
426
00:18:31,255 --> 00:18:32,455
I'm Amy Farrah Fowler.
427
00:18:32,456 --> 00:18:33,689
You're Sheldon Cooper.
428
00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:35,690
Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler.
429
00:18:35,691 --> 00:18:38,658
I'm sorry to inform you
that you have been taken in
430
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,993
by unsupportable mathematics
431
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:42,961
designed to prey
on the gullible and the lonely.
432
00:18:42,962 --> 00:18:45,063
Additionally,
I'm being blackmailed
433
00:18:45,064 --> 00:18:46,998
with a hidden dirty sock.
434
00:18:46,999 --> 00:18:51,201
If that was slang,
I'm unfamiliar with it.
435
00:18:51,202 --> 00:18:54,871
If it was literal, I share your
aversion to soiled hosiery.
436
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,372
In any case,
437
00:18:56,373 --> 00:18:58,440
I'm here because my
mother and I have agreed
438
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,675
that I will date at
least once a year.
439
00:19:00,676 --> 00:19:01,976
Interesting.
440
00:19:01,977 --> 00:19:05,280
My mother and I have
the same agreement about church.
441
00:19:05,281 --> 00:19:07,584
I don't object to the
concept of a deity,
442
00:19:07,585 --> 00:19:10,786
but I'm baffled by the notion
of one that takes attendance.
443
00:19:10,787 --> 00:19:14,556
Well, then you might want
to avoid East Texas.
444
00:19:14,557 --> 00:19:15,757
Noted.
445
00:19:15,758 --> 00:19:17,358
Now, before this
goes any further,
446
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,794
you should know that all
forms of physical contact
447
00:19:19,795 --> 00:19:23,096
up to and including
coitus are off the table.
448
00:19:24,699 --> 00:19:26,866
May I buy you a beverage?
449
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,435
Tepid water, please.
450
00:19:38,275 --> 00:19:40,676
Good God, what
have we done?
451
00:19:41,277 --> 00:19:44,878
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --