1 00:00:00,382 --> 00:00:05,727 Top Gear 10x01 English Transcript: Evarin & SimonP @Transcript UK Manager 2 00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:11,340 Completed and Synced by: Z102@Finalgear 3 00:00:19,554 --> 00:00:23,173 Hello and welcome to Top Gear! 4 00:00:24,151 --> 00:00:25,432 Now...thank you. 5 00:00:25,507 --> 00:00:26,871 Thank you very much. 6 00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:29,261 Now, in the current climate, 7 00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:29,261 Now, in the current climate, 8 00:00:29,336 --> 00:00:31,588 I think it's very important to reassure you all 9 00:00:31,710 --> 00:00:33,511 that everything you see on this show 10 00:00:33,556 --> 00:00:35,029 is FOR REAL. 11 00:00:35,190 --> 00:00:38,689 Yes, nothing on this show is faked 12 00:00:38,798 --> 00:00:40,480 in any way. 13 00:00:40,588 --> 00:00:44,196 Which makes it all the more amazing when you see what we've got lined up 14 00:00:44,358 --> 00:00:46,013 over the next ten weeks. 15 00:00:51,714 --> 00:00:54,020 Hold onto your spleen, everyone. 16 00:00:57,139 --> 00:00:58,197 Mayday! 17 00:01:00,835 --> 00:01:02,299 Unbelievable! 18 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,768 You look like a gay cowboy, 19 00:01:04,849 --> 00:01:06,856 and you look like a gay terrorist. 20 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,650 Oh, my eyes! 21 00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:13,492 Oh, dear! 22 00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:25,455 He is the Stig's African cousin. 23 00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:31,721 Mm! Ah! That's not gone well. 24 00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:38,561 Power! 25 00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:47,431 I am the Road Warrior! 26 00:01:54,929 --> 00:01:56,448 It's gonna be good. 27 00:01:56,529 --> 00:02:01,276 Right, right. On with tonight. 28 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,768 Yes, indeed. 29 00:02:03,945 --> 00:02:05,255 Now, every year, 30 00:02:05,368 --> 00:02:08,298 the world's Golf GTI enthusiasts congregate 31 00:02:08,637 --> 00:02:11,243 in a field in Austria and they talk about fuel injection 32 00:02:11,326 --> 00:02:13,637 and wear jumpers with "GTI" on them and, frankly, 33 00:02:13,736 --> 00:02:15,398 I'd rather blowtorch my nipples off, 34 00:02:15,449 --> 00:02:16,111 but... 35 00:02:16,619 --> 00:02:18,986 Volkswagen, every year, sends them a little present - 36 00:02:19,028 --> 00:02:20,606 a concept car of some kind, 37 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,088 to say, "Thank you for your loyalty." 38 00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:23,281 This year, though, 39 00:02:23,569 --> 00:02:24,413 disaster. 40 00:02:24,565 --> 00:02:26,041 Volkswagen forgot. 41 00:02:26,109 --> 00:02:27,518 Eight weeks to go. 42 00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:29,355 They had to build something, anything, 43 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,426 to keep the fans happy. 44 00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:36,517 Luckily, Volkswagen owns lots of other car companies - 45 00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:37,476 Bentley, 46 00:02:37,566 --> 00:02:38,456 Bugatti, 47 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:39,535 Lamborghini, 48 00:02:39,614 --> 00:02:40,595 Skoda, 49 00:02:40,663 --> 00:02:41,170 Audi 50 00:02:41,215 --> 00:02:42,173 and Seat 51 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,522 so they had a big bin 52 00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:45,416 to rummage around in for parts. 53 00:02:47,073 --> 00:02:47,918 What they did, then, 54 00:02:47,964 --> 00:02:49,069 with the clock ticking, 55 00:02:49,114 --> 00:02:51,075 was take the rear axle and brakes 56 00:02:51,132 --> 00:02:52,800 from a Lamborghini Gallardo, 57 00:02:53,024 --> 00:02:56,008 the twin turbo-charged W12 engine 58 00:02:56,078 --> 00:02:57,596 from a Bentley Continental, 59 00:02:57,642 --> 00:03:00,008 and the rear sub-frame and floor 60 00:03:00,065 --> 00:03:01,166 from an Audi R8. 61 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:04,029 And then, they put all these bits and pieces 62 00:03:04,108 --> 00:03:06,103 in the body of a Golf. 63 00:03:08,306 --> 00:03:09,726 And here it is. 64 00:03:11,755 --> 00:03:14,310 It's called the GTI W12, 65 00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:16,531 and unlike most concept cars, 66 00:03:16,813 --> 00:03:18,444 it actually works. 67 00:03:21,465 --> 00:03:22,265 Sort of. 68 00:03:24,485 --> 00:03:25,891 As you'd expect with a car 69 00:03:26,319 --> 00:03:27,581 made so quickly, 70 00:03:27,717 --> 00:03:29,430 there are one or two issues. 71 00:03:29,569 --> 00:03:30,997 The paddles here on the steering wheel 72 00:03:31,053 --> 00:03:32,699 for the gearbox don't work. 73 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,569 Er, these switches here, 74 00:03:34,935 --> 00:03:35,854 they don't work. 75 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:37,087 Sat-nav does work, 76 00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:38,614 but thinks it's in Germany. 77 00:03:38,996 --> 00:03:41,807 And these heating and ventilation knobs 78 00:03:42,062 --> 00:03:43,603 they're not connected to anything. 79 00:03:43,689 --> 00:03:44,922 So I'm very hot. 80 00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:47,490 The six-litre, 81 00:03:47,548 --> 00:03:49,106 640hp, 82 00:03:49,226 --> 00:03:50,495 12-cylinder engine, though... 83 00:03:51,215 --> 00:03:52,696 ..that works... 84 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:53,796 just fine. 85 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:58,123 As a result, 86 00:03:58,257 --> 00:04:00,164 this car will get from 0 - 60 87 00:04:00,222 --> 00:04:02,129 in 3.5 seconds! 88 00:04:04,094 --> 00:04:05,803 And it will keep on accelerating 89 00:04:05,937 --> 00:04:07,998 all the way to 202. 90 00:04:10,753 --> 00:04:13,237 To contain all the power and the fury, 91 00:04:13,315 --> 00:04:15,967 the W12 is 6 inches wider 92 00:04:16,102 --> 00:04:17,123 and 3 inches lower 93 00:04:17,239 --> 00:04:18,606 than a normal Golf. 94 00:04:21,952 --> 00:04:24,167 The roof is made from carbon fibre. 95 00:04:24,783 --> 00:04:27,865 The tyres sit like smears of paint on the wheels, 96 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:28,963 and the engine 97 00:04:29,059 --> 00:04:31,814 is where you'd expect to find the back seats. 98 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:33,531 To cool it, 99 00:04:33,627 --> 00:04:35,649 there are massive intake vents in the sills. 100 00:04:36,073 --> 00:04:38,192 That's why the bottom of the car is swollen 101 00:04:38,288 --> 00:04:39,945 like your granny's ankles. 102 00:04:40,099 --> 00:04:42,790 And they made all these changes in just eight weeks. 103 00:04:43,907 --> 00:04:45,679 However did they lose? 104 00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:48,890 The funny thing is, you sit here, 105 00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:50,238 looking at a Golf dashboard 106 00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:51,124 and a Golf bonnet, 107 00:04:51,201 --> 00:04:52,126 through a Golf windscreen, 108 00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:52,954 and you think, 109 00:04:53,301 --> 00:04:54,187 "It's a Golf." 110 00:04:55,285 --> 00:04:56,826 But it so isn't! 111 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,888 It's not a particularly savage car. 112 00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:04,917 It doesn't explode when you 113 00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:06,954 stamp on the accelerator, 114 00:05:07,994 --> 00:05:09,323 It's just this 115 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:12,001 surge of power that takes you up to 116 00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:14,312 5,500rpm. 117 00:05:14,505 --> 00:05:15,559 And then, 118 00:05:15,655 --> 00:05:18,217 the surge becomes a flood. 119 00:05:19,295 --> 00:05:20,798 I can't get away from it! 120 00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:34,155 It is an insane car, this. 121 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:38,367 Opening up a Golf to find it has 640hp is like 122 00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:40,428 opening up Gordon Brown's trousers 123 00:05:40,544 --> 00:05:42,855 and finding he's wearing stockings and suspenders. 124 00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:44,680 Mad. 125 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:47,280 Unfortunately, there is 126 00:05:47,357 --> 00:05:49,168 a small problem... 127 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,475 This car 128 00:05:52,591 --> 00:05:54,941 will not go round corners. 129 00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,896 The wheelbase is short, 130 00:06:05,973 --> 00:06:07,553 and it's rear-wheel drive 131 00:06:07,649 --> 00:06:08,978 so you have to be 132 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,750 extremely gentle. 133 00:06:10,885 --> 00:06:11,765 You have to 134 00:06:11,881 --> 00:06:13,768 treat all the controls like they're 135 00:06:14,192 --> 00:06:15,271 made of glass. 136 00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:20,221 Even if you're really gentle, 137 00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,604 you'll still... Yes, yes. 138 00:06:26,283 --> 00:06:28,941 You'll still end up coming out of the corner backwards, like that. 139 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,322 I meant that... 140 00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:37,083 Tame the under-steer, there's a lot of it... I've got it! 141 00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:38,528 No, I haven't! 142 00:06:41,413 --> 00:06:42,261 An hour later 143 00:06:42,338 --> 00:06:44,399 I reckoned I was getting somewhere. 144 00:06:44,457 --> 00:06:45,046 Come, 145 00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:45,990 come, 146 00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:47,011 come, 147 00:06:47,131 --> 00:06:48,323 COME! 148 00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:49,690 Yes... 149 00:07:00,247 --> 00:07:02,173 That doesn't work, either. 150 00:07:02,597 --> 00:07:06,039 I think the kindest thing I can say about 151 00:07:06,367 --> 00:07:09,082 the brakes and suspension is 152 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,220 they're...not finished yet. 153 00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:16,416 You're such a spanner! 154 00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:22,695 It just goes, "Eurgh!" and there's smoke everywhere. 155 00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:23,292 You were. 156 00:07:23,349 --> 00:07:23,792 I wasn't. 157 00:07:23,812 --> 00:07:24,268 You were. 158 00:07:24,299 --> 00:07:24,659 I wasn't. 159 00:07:24,858 --> 00:07:26,480 Let me get one thing clear. 160 00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:28,480 This isn't going to go on sale, is it? 161 00:07:28,563 --> 00:07:31,111 No. Volkswagen sent it to us cos they said, 162 00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:33,533 "If people like it, we'll put it into production." 163 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,492 They're not going to get any encouragement from me. 164 00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:37,661 To be honest, that is ghastly. 165 00:07:37,766 --> 00:07:39,346 My biggest problem with it 166 00:07:40,146 --> 00:07:41,620 I can't see the point to say, 167 00:07:41,599 --> 00:07:42,524 "I've got a supercar 168 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,356 and the great thing is, it looks like a Golf." 169 00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:47,052 That's like saying, "I'm married to a supermodel and the great thing is, 170 00:07:47,157 --> 00:07:48,653 she looks like a traffic warden!" 171 00:07:48,779 --> 00:07:50,443 It doesn't make any sense. 172 00:07:50,506 --> 00:07:52,254 Even so, we must now see 173 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:54,592 how quickly it can crash on our track. 174 00:07:55,055 --> 00:07:55,876 And for that, 175 00:07:55,982 --> 00:07:57,753 we need our tame racing driver. 176 00:07:57,881 --> 00:08:00,153 Yeah, some say that his scrotum 177 00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:02,022 has its own small gravity field. 178 00:08:03,781 --> 00:08:05,632 And that because our producer 179 00:08:05,724 --> 00:08:07,648 rigged a phone-vote, 180 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,609 he now has a new name. 181 00:08:10,221 --> 00:08:11,504 All we know is 182 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,879 he's called "Cuddles". 183 00:08:14,858 --> 00:08:15,408 And he's off. 184 00:08:15,481 --> 00:08:16,965 We know this car is frisky 185 00:08:17,002 --> 00:08:18,413 but if anyone can tame it, 186 00:08:18,468 --> 00:08:19,952 this is the man. 187 00:08:20,942 --> 00:08:21,986 First corner, 188 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:23,434 twitchy on the braking. 189 00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:24,918 Tyres howling in pain. 190 00:08:24,992 --> 00:08:27,062 Back on the power. Nicely done. 191 00:08:28,361 --> 00:08:30,230 No CD today, because 192 00:08:30,322 --> 00:08:31,916 predictably, the stereo doesn't work. 193 00:08:32,521 --> 00:08:33,913 OK, through Chicago. 194 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:35,984 Nursing it round there carefully. 195 00:08:36,094 --> 00:08:38,641 Another huge surge of power, coming up to Hammerhead. 196 00:08:39,209 --> 00:08:40,547 Wiggling its hips under the brakes. 197 00:08:40,639 --> 00:08:41,940 He's chucked it in. 198 00:08:42,325 --> 00:08:44,249 It's in... It's biting back! 199 00:08:44,902 --> 00:08:47,651 Ooh, he's having to fight it every inch of the way. 200 00:08:49,136 --> 00:08:49,997 Listen to that. 201 00:08:50,299 --> 00:08:53,182 In the Bentley, that engine is as quiet as a startled deer. 202 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,409 Here, it's like being chased by an imploding star! 203 00:08:56,393 --> 00:08:57,659 And about as scary. 204 00:08:59,018 --> 00:08:59,733 Winding it up, 205 00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:01,500 here he comes now, through the tyres. 206 00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:03,680 Oh, yeah. Looking good. 207 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:04,418 Ish. 208 00:09:05,192 --> 00:09:07,196 Just two accidents waiting to happen. 209 00:09:07,243 --> 00:09:09,340 Turns in, look at the over-steer! 210 00:09:09,399 --> 00:09:11,862 Cuddles is really having to wrestle it through there. 211 00:09:12,589 --> 00:09:13,561 Up to Gambon. 212 00:09:13,597 --> 00:09:14,962 He's taking it very gingerly 213 00:09:15,082 --> 00:09:15,971 and I'm not surprised. 214 00:09:16,042 --> 00:09:16,710 Here we are, 215 00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:18,526 and across the line. 216 00:09:20,424 --> 00:09:21,713 Got the time here. 217 00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:26,521 The time is... 218 00:09:26,744 --> 00:09:29,908 1.29.6 219 00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:32,400 Top Gear top tip: 220 00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,845 if you want a slow car that looks like a Golf, 221 00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:37,122 get a Golf. 222 00:09:38,781 --> 00:09:42,198 That's interesting, the Stig didn't spin that car once in that lap... 223 00:09:42,304 --> 00:09:44,015 Anyway, it's time now for the news... 224 00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:46,382 You may notice we've got some new furniture, 225 00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:47,905 And a new telly... 226 00:09:48,651 --> 00:09:50,022 Now, the problem is, you see, 227 00:09:50,069 --> 00:09:52,201 There was a fire at our storage depot 228 00:09:52,272 --> 00:09:53,549 you might have seen it in the papers. 229 00:09:53,631 --> 00:09:55,424 And nearly all of our props got... 230 00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:56,303 destroyed. 231 00:09:56,385 --> 00:09:58,494 Yeah, and the police are saying, 232 00:09:58,604 --> 00:10:00,702 you can see it here, that it was arson. 233 00:10:00,784 --> 00:10:01,557 Yeah, but... 234 00:10:01,604 --> 00:10:02,811 I mean, who'd do that? 235 00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:04,253 It's not like we've ever upset anyone... 236 00:10:04,311 --> 00:10:04,979 I know! 237 00:10:06,655 --> 00:10:07,487 Well, there was the vicar 238 00:10:07,534 --> 00:10:09,796 whose tree I rammed in a Toyota pickup truck... 239 00:10:09,861 --> 00:10:11,056 and everyone in Wales... 240 00:10:11,607 --> 00:10:14,009 and everyone in Birmingham, everyone in America... 241 00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:14,701 Yeah. 242 00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:16,724 And while we were making this series, actually 243 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:18,001 we managed to upset 244 00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:18,845 the Coast Guard, 245 00:10:18,915 --> 00:10:20,919 who said that we've ruined the English Channel. 246 00:10:21,224 --> 00:10:22,325 Hang on a minute! 247 00:10:22,431 --> 00:10:22,771 What? 248 00:10:22,853 --> 00:10:25,232 You're not seriously suggesting that the British Coast Guard 249 00:10:25,498 --> 00:10:27,970 drove all the way up to Watford and set fire to our... 250 00:10:28,029 --> 00:10:28,720 chairs, 251 00:10:28,908 --> 00:10:29,423 are you? 252 00:10:29,447 --> 00:10:30,490 No, I'm not! 253 00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:31,966 I know who did this... 254 00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:32,998 Who? 255 00:10:33,619 --> 00:10:34,474 Fifth Gear. 256 00:10:36,649 --> 00:10:37,645 Hang on, why? 257 00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:39,391 Can we just look at the evidence? 258 00:10:39,802 --> 00:10:41,677 Just last week ok? It was in the papers. 259 00:10:41,735 --> 00:10:42,802 They've rolled 260 00:10:42,884 --> 00:10:44,454 a Bedford Rascal van. 261 00:10:44,485 --> 00:10:45,400 There it is, ok? 262 00:10:45,540 --> 00:10:48,177 A year ago, if we look at a shot from Top Gear... 263 00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:50,989 WE rolled a Bedford Rascal van. 264 00:10:51,036 --> 00:10:53,802 They're now saying that one of their presenters has hurt his foot... 265 00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:56,040 That's not an accident! 266 00:10:57,363 --> 00:10:59,741 WE have proper accidents on this show! 267 00:11:00,441 --> 00:11:01,765 You think they're a bit... jelous? 268 00:11:04,065 --> 00:11:06,104 Tiff, Vicky, stop burning our things... 269 00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:06,561 Yes. 270 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,789 Can I just say? The seats we used to have 271 00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:11,383 were from a Vauxhall Senator. 272 00:11:11,565 --> 00:11:13,768 So if anybody out there's watching and they have a Vauxhall Senator... 273 00:11:13,862 --> 00:11:15,960 Hang on, you're gonna say: "If you got a Vauxhall Senator 274 00:11:16,007 --> 00:11:17,354 and you don't need the seats..." 275 00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,073 Write to us at: 276 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,874 I've got a Vauxhall Senator and I drive everywhere standing up. 277 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,595 BBC Television, London... wherever we are. 278 00:11:26,689 --> 00:11:27,732 Woodlane. 279 00:11:27,779 --> 00:11:29,747 I love the way James has got into that chair, 280 00:11:29,771 --> 00:11:31,025 as though he belongs... 281 00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:33,704 Did you notice that? 282 00:11:33,763 --> 00:11:36,036 He's just sitting there and going, "It's just me..." 283 00:11:36,165 --> 00:11:38,579 It looks as if you get one of these with one of these... 284 00:11:39,557 --> 00:11:41,536 They just ship them together as a pair... 285 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,632 It's exactly the same as my furniture at home, 286 00:11:43,716 --> 00:11:45,355 I'm very familiar with it, and comfortable. 287 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:46,311 Should we move on? 288 00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:46,847 Yes! 289 00:11:46,982 --> 00:11:49,765 And there's lots of supercars at the moment, new stuff, 290 00:11:49,849 --> 00:11:51,543 so I thought we could take a quick look at some of those 291 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:52,783 Here's that Roush... 292 00:11:52,867 --> 00:11:53,722 Ford GT, 293 00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:55,473 and they've turned the supercharger up on that, 294 00:11:55,593 --> 00:11:58,887 So it's now... 610 instead of 550 HP. 295 00:11:59,021 --> 00:12:02,258 It's gonna be 141000 pounds, they're only making 10 of those... 296 00:12:02,962 --> 00:12:04,404 That's as fast as it'll ever go. 297 00:12:05,270 --> 00:12:06,368 In the picture. 298 00:12:06,472 --> 00:12:08,199 And there's this: the Lamborghini 299 00:12:08,237 --> 00:12:08,969 Reventón. 300 00:12:09,054 --> 00:12:10,756 They're only making 20 of these, 301 00:12:11,291 --> 00:12:12,380 It is... costly: 302 00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:14,164 800000 pounds a piece... 303 00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:15,075 800 quid? 304 00:12:15,131 --> 00:12:17,103 Yes, but look at it! It looks like a stealth fighter, 305 00:12:17,159 --> 00:12:18,474 all angles, it's beautiful... 306 00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,117 800 thousand quid? 307 00:12:20,151 --> 00:12:20,502 Yeah. 308 00:12:20,151 --> 00:12:20,502 309 00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:21,823 This is the Bentley Brooklands, 310 00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:23,579 It's... it's a 2-door... erm... 311 00:12:24,602 --> 00:12:26,039 What's the other one called that they make? 312 00:12:28,059 --> 00:12:29,693 Continental, Azure, Arnage...? 313 00:12:30,012 --> 00:12:32,566 - My, we have been off for a while, haven't we? - Arnage, yes! 314 00:12:32,904 --> 00:12:33,458 The Arnage, 315 00:12:33,496 --> 00:12:34,735 This 2-door version that... 316 00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:36,810 530 horsepower, 230000 pounds... 317 00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:37,780 Proper Bentley, though. 318 00:12:37,864 --> 00:12:38,531 old school... 319 00:12:38,578 --> 00:12:40,240 Probably comfortable, good for your piles... 320 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,968 I have to say as well there's not all supecars, 321 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,846 there are some affordable cars out as well... 322 00:12:46,747 --> 00:12:47,348 There's one... 323 00:12:48,596 --> 00:12:50,080 - OK, now... - Enough of that... 324 00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,319 Another quick look at a new car: 325 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,413 Subaru Impreza STI 326 00:12:55,479 --> 00:12:57,366 hyper-nutter-rally-thing coming along... 327 00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,414 Haven't released many facts about it yet, 328 00:12:59,461 --> 00:13:01,527 probably gonna be 300 hp there or thereabouts, 329 00:13:01,574 --> 00:13:02,588 turbocharged engine... 330 00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:03,555 But. 331 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,903 We're pretty confident it's 332 00:13:06,064 --> 00:13:07,349 not gonna be a looker. 333 00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:08,327 No. 334 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:09,886 No, because, well... 335 00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:11,924 Here's the photograph they sent out of it... 336 00:13:13,691 --> 00:13:15,512 Just ahead of its release, 337 00:13:16,075 --> 00:13:17,305 Honestly, that is... 338 00:13:17,775 --> 00:13:19,362 That's the photograph they sent out. 339 00:13:19,427 --> 00:13:20,556 We haven't faked that in... 340 00:13:20,612 --> 00:13:21,729 No, we have not faked that, 341 00:13:21,814 --> 00:13:22,725 that's what they sent us. 342 00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:24,415 So, can you send us a picture of your new car? 343 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:25,898 Yes... here it is... 344 00:13:26,236 --> 00:13:28,077 Doesn't suggest confidence, does it? 345 00:13:28,114 --> 00:13:29,147 - No. - It's ???? we know it. 346 00:13:29,316 --> 00:13:30,313 Oh, now, listen. 347 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,218 you know in the olden days, when Britain was a sensible country, 348 00:13:32,283 --> 00:13:33,917 if you had a bump on the motorway, 349 00:13:33,983 --> 00:13:35,213 put your car on the hard shoulder, 350 00:13:35,373 --> 00:13:37,398 Exchanged names and addresses with the other guy, 351 00:13:37,445 --> 00:13:38,797 and then you went on your way. 352 00:13:38,975 --> 00:13:39,445 Not any more, 353 00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:40,656 have you noticed this, now? 354 00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:41,704 If you have a bump on the motorway now, 355 00:13:41,741 --> 00:13:42,971 you know those policemen 356 00:13:43,009 --> 00:13:44,821 who aren't really policemen? 357 00:13:45,122 --> 00:13:46,765 They come to the scene of the crash 358 00:13:46,802 --> 00:13:48,211 and close the motorway. 359 00:13:48,549 --> 00:13:51,300 Have you noticed? I was on the M40 on Wednesday, 360 00:13:51,544 --> 00:13:54,089 tiny crash, couple of broken indicator lenses, 361 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,924 they got there and they had shut all three lanes. 362 00:13:57,057 --> 00:14:00,081 HUGE queue, people missing meetings, people missing flights... 363 00:14:00,419 --> 00:14:02,297 just so they can run around picking things up. 364 00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:04,231 I've never seen... 365 00:14:04,382 --> 00:14:05,463 You know what? 366 00:14:05,692 --> 00:14:08,902 When I got to the office I just found out how many other motorways have been closed today 367 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,376 You know what it was? I got a list here: 368 00:14:10,539 --> 00:14:13,782 Just on that one day. The M40, the M1... 369 00:14:13,946 --> 00:14:18,040 The M25, the M26, the M66, and the M24 370 00:14:18,203 --> 00:14:19,579 all shut... 371 00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:20,955 by these wombles. 372 00:14:23,023 --> 00:14:25,709 We can manage without you, you day-glow... 373 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,770 - Oooh, that's... - ... Wombles. 374 00:14:29,966 --> 00:14:33,209 That's touching, ladies and gentlemen: his first rant of the series. 375 00:14:38,647 --> 00:14:40,402 - Do you have more news? - I have got more news... 376 00:14:40,449 --> 00:14:42,196 Bentley have recalled some cars... 377 00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:45,154 There's a problem with their wheelnuts, apparently. 378 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,121 They might not be 379 00:14:46,215 --> 00:14:47,285 fastened properly... 380 00:14:48,593 --> 00:14:50,452 Bentley say it's not a big deal. 381 00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:54,940 It's only one batch of nuts affected. 382 00:14:55,147 --> 00:14:56,658 It only affects... I got it written down here... 383 00:14:56,743 --> 00:14:58,668 It only concerns the Arnage R,... 384 00:14:58,884 --> 00:15:00,229 ... and the Arnage T... 385 00:15:00,304 --> 00:15:01,665 ... and the Arnage RL,... 386 00:15:01,703 --> 00:15:02,736 ... and the Azure. 387 00:15:02,792 --> 00:15:03,787 So, basically, 388 00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:05,759 pretty much all of the cars they make. 389 00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:07,550 And it's only those built 390 00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:09,196 between February'05... 391 00:15:09,695 --> 00:15:10,737 ... and August last year. 392 00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:13,253 That's a year and a half!! 393 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,634 Though my favourite is the government, ok? 394 00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:16,192 who actually run this recall. 395 00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:17,300 They say here: 396 00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:19,408 "If the bolts do become loose, 397 00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:23,182 This would in all probability be noticeable to the driver... 398 00:15:23,259 --> 00:15:23,963 Yes, it would. 399 00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:26,480 ...as there would be a considerable 400 00:15:26,564 --> 00:15:28,301 mechanical knocking noise. 401 00:15:28,359 --> 00:15:29,589 When a wheel comes out! 402 00:15:29,636 --> 00:15:30,425 Sparks! 403 00:15:30,586 --> 00:15:32,370 And sky, road,... 404 00:15:32,417 --> 00:15:34,032 ... sky, road,... ditch! 405 00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:36,680 Dear, I think there might be something wrong with the car... 406 00:15:38,089 --> 00:15:39,985 I think they were jealous of Rolls-Royce. 407 00:15:40,032 --> 00:15:42,757 'Cos they used to say that the loudest thing in a Rolls-Royce at 100mph 408 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:43,527 was the clock. 409 00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:43,885 Yeah. 410 00:15:43,979 --> 00:15:44,805 So now Bentley can say, 411 00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:47,678 The loudest thing in a Bentley at 100mph is the 412 00:15:47,754 --> 00:15:50,045 front near-side wheel falling off. 413 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,123 New Highway Code's come along 414 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,674 and it says now that they advise 415 00:15:55,684 --> 00:15:58,085 you don't smoke while behind the wheel. 416 00:15:58,932 --> 00:15:59,749 Why? 417 00:16:00,238 --> 00:16:02,012 I mean, us three all smoke, ok? 418 00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:04,134 Nothing to be proud of, the fact is that we all do. 419 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,094 We don't crash... 420 00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:06,287 Well, two of us don't, so... 421 00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:10,099 Actually, I've given up smoking as well, mate. 422 00:16:10,164 --> 00:16:12,071 There you are: you can't do two things at once... 423 00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:14,964 I can multitask. 424 00:16:15,481 --> 00:16:16,626 - You can multitask? - Yeah. 425 00:16:16,739 --> 00:16:18,176 Yeah, I've seen you putting your make-up on. 426 00:16:18,251 --> 00:16:18,542 Yeah. 427 00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:19,763 And driving. 428 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:20,532 And driving. 429 00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:22,476 I've seen you multitask when driving. 430 00:16:22,968 --> 00:16:25,156 No, you can't talk about that on the television. 431 00:16:26,715 --> 00:16:28,302 It isn't in the Highway Code... 432 00:16:29,381 --> 00:16:31,297 Yeah, the... the people who wrote the... 433 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:32,546 the Highway Code thing, 434 00:16:32,651 --> 00:16:34,247 you know, the ones who say if you feel tired 435 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:35,796 pull off at the motorway services... 436 00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:39,204 Before you weren't allowed to... 437 00:16:39,605 --> 00:16:42,066 - - You arrive to the services and pull off 438 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:45,022 So they say that, but on the other hand, they say you ca... 439 00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:49,760 440 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,306 Just because they can't drive and smoke at the same time 441 00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:58,690 doesn't mean the rest of us were spanners. 442 00:16:58,724 --> 00:16:59,499 This is ridiculous... 443 00:16:59,542 --> 00:17:00,792 No, it is a good point. 444 00:17:00,863 --> 00:17:02,408 Although it gives me an idea: 445 00:17:02,537 --> 00:17:03,567 'Cos we've got a track... 446 00:17:03,687 --> 00:17:05,103 Why don't we have like 447 00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:06,142 track days? 448 00:17:06,176 --> 00:17:08,596 But instead of getting caught up on how fast you go round and all that, 449 00:17:08,642 --> 00:17:09,586 we just let people... 450 00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:10,143 smoke... 451 00:17:10,192 --> 00:17:10,658 while they're driving... 452 00:17:10,699 --> 00:17:11,625 Or put their make-up on... 453 00:17:11,745 --> 00:17:12,634 Or use their mobile phone. 454 00:17:12,681 --> 00:17:14,652 - all the stuff you wanna do when... - Or eat a pie... 455 00:17:14,677 --> 00:17:16,303 Yeah, and at track speed... 456 00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:18,820 That's fantastic: 100 pounds you come here to... 457 00:17:18,869 --> 00:17:20,700 You're late for work, you say, I gotta make a call... 458 00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:22,649 I'll go around the Top Gear test track, 459 00:17:22,769 --> 00:17:24,296 You can make the call, have a pie... 460 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,723 A slice of freedom... 461 00:17:25,808 --> 00:17:27,294 And you don't have to pull off in the services... 462 00:17:30,787 --> 00:17:32,699 And the 100 pounds that you pay us 463 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,163 we can spend on new seats... 464 00:17:34,283 --> 00:17:35,891 And that's the end of the news. 465 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:36,615 Right. 466 00:17:36,733 --> 00:17:37,489 It's time 467 00:17:37,609 --> 00:17:38,697 for a question. 468 00:17:38,814 --> 00:17:39,646 And the question is 469 00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:40,582 Where is 470 00:17:40,702 --> 00:17:42,200 the best driving road 471 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:42,951 in the world? 472 00:17:43,052 --> 00:17:44,552 Something that has everything - 473 00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:45,970 the challenging bends, 474 00:17:46,076 --> 00:17:47,458 no traffic, the great views, 475 00:17:47,564 --> 00:17:48,912 the long, fast straights, 476 00:17:49,216 --> 00:17:49,919 the lot. 477 00:17:50,641 --> 00:17:52,633 Now, it's unlikely to be here, 478 00:17:52,879 --> 00:17:54,426 because everyone does five. 479 00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:55,504 It won't be here, 480 00:17:55,621 --> 00:17:56,990 because everyone's on drugs. 481 00:17:57,048 --> 00:17:58,572 That's all just full of ox. 482 00:17:58,818 --> 00:18:00,189 Al Gore says that's gone, 483 00:18:00,236 --> 00:18:01,208 so it's not gonna be down there. 484 00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:02,357 That's full of spiders. 485 00:18:02,439 --> 00:18:04,009 - Signposts here are all gibberish... - Right, Jeremy! 486 00:18:04,056 --> 00:18:05,216 these are all Communists... 487 00:18:05,263 --> 00:18:06,248 Can't go there - 488 00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:07,851 'Cos the Americans will shoot you. 489 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,314 Stop! Thank you! 490 00:18:09,396 --> 00:18:12,630 All right. Obviously, we did discuss this at length, 491 00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:14,060 and we eventually decided 492 00:18:14,107 --> 00:18:16,954 the best driving road in the world was probably somewhere 493 00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:18,417 in continental Europe. 494 00:18:18,499 --> 00:18:19,694 Specifically, 495 00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:20,760 around here. 496 00:18:21,358 --> 00:18:22,249 The Alps. 497 00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:25,127 Then we decided that the best thing for us to do was to go there 498 00:18:25,232 --> 00:18:26,463 and see if we could find it. 499 00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:36,304 This is where our quest began: 500 00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,847 in the mountains above Monte Carlo, 501 00:18:38,894 --> 00:18:40,324 in the south of France. 502 00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:47,046 Now, obviously, you can't go looking for the best driving road in the world 503 00:18:47,714 --> 00:18:49,917 in a Japanese hatch-back or a people carrier. 504 00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:52,252 So, what we thought we'd do is bring along a selection 505 00:18:52,303 --> 00:18:53,434 of the new generation 506 00:18:53,554 --> 00:18:55,127 of lightened supercars. 507 00:18:58,545 --> 00:19:00,115 I've chosen this: 508 00:19:00,251 --> 00:19:03,661 the new Porsche 911 GT3 RS. 509 00:19:06,165 --> 00:19:11,637 In essence, the GT3 is a lighter, tauter version of the normal 911, 510 00:19:11,766 --> 00:19:13,184 and this, the RS, 511 00:19:13,243 --> 00:19:15,115 is a lighter, tauter version 512 00:19:15,184 --> 00:19:16,320 of the GT3. 513 00:19:21,383 --> 00:19:23,457 So, this is, in fact, 514 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,052 the ultimate version, 515 00:19:25,111 --> 00:19:26,787 of the ultimate version 516 00:19:26,892 --> 00:19:28,322 of the ultimate version 517 00:19:28,697 --> 00:19:30,982 of the world's ultimate supercar. 518 00:19:31,263 --> 00:19:32,154 No, it isn't. 519 00:19:32,259 --> 00:19:35,620 The ultimate F-Plan supercar is what I've brought along. 520 00:19:37,049 --> 00:19:40,260 It's a Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera, 521 00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:42,576 and it's like a normal Gallardo, 522 00:19:42,669 --> 00:19:44,732 but it's 100kg lighter, 523 00:19:44,931 --> 00:19:47,814 and the V10 engine is a bit more powerful. 524 00:19:48,747 --> 00:19:50,762 That is quite a recipe. 525 00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:55,562 Well, yeah, I suppose it is, if you're a fat, middle-aged bloke 526 00:19:55,633 --> 00:19:58,058 who wants to bore everybody about the track-days you've been on. 527 00:19:58,304 --> 00:20:00,320 As you'd expect, I've done it properly 528 00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:01,961 and got myself a proper, 529 00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:03,491 gentleman's racer: 530 00:20:03,585 --> 00:20:07,030 the Aston Martin V8 Vantage N24. 531 00:20:13,721 --> 00:20:14,518 James, 532 00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:16,979 that is just a racing car! 533 00:20:17,237 --> 00:20:18,573 It hasn't got anything in it at all... 534 00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:20,260 It hasn't even got a passenger seat! 535 00:20:20,342 --> 00:20:23,290 This isn't just some road-car Porsche with a bit of scaffolding in the back. 536 00:20:23,349 --> 00:20:26,865 It's 250kg lighter than the standard car. 537 00:20:26,982 --> 00:20:29,162 That's the weight of a big motorcycle. 538 00:20:29,255 --> 00:20:30,996 So, you've got no radio? 539 00:20:31,114 --> 00:20:31,629 No. 540 00:20:31,711 --> 00:20:32,696 You got no carpets? 541 00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:33,059 No. 542 00:20:33,129 --> 00:20:34,149 No air-conditioning? 543 00:20:34,219 --> 00:20:34,676 No. 544 00:20:34,758 --> 00:20:35,180 James, 545 00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:37,606 you have got a car with no air conditioning, 546 00:20:37,664 --> 00:20:38,660 in the south of France, 547 00:20:38,719 --> 00:20:39,750 in the middle of summer! 548 00:20:39,809 --> 00:20:40,836 It's better than that: 549 00:20:40,941 --> 00:20:42,242 his windows don't open! 550 00:20:42,312 --> 00:20:43,437 Yes, they do, actually. 551 00:20:43,519 --> 00:20:44,679 That's a cat flap! 552 00:20:44,761 --> 00:20:46,144 You've both done the same thing: 553 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,171 You have got standard road cars 554 00:20:48,265 --> 00:20:50,932 dressed with the tinsel of fake high performance. 555 00:20:50,991 --> 00:20:51,999 Has it got air conditioning? 556 00:20:52,057 --> 00:20:53,346 Yes, it has got air conditioning. 557 00:20:53,373 --> 00:20:54,685 - You got air conditioning? - Oh, yeah. 558 00:20:54,747 --> 00:20:55,731 - Yes! - Shall we go? 559 00:20:55,813 --> 00:20:57,243 - That is soooo... - Yeah, shall we go? 560 00:20:57,325 --> 00:20:58,708 It's getting a bit muggy. 561 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,016 Right! 562 00:21:04,122 --> 00:21:06,439 Master switch... on. 563 00:21:09,906 --> 00:21:11,922 Ignition switch... on... 564 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,172 Faffing around. 565 00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:16,101 Fuel reset... 566 00:21:19,171 --> 00:21:21,034 Pumps are reset... 567 00:21:21,187 --> 00:21:22,159 Fan is off... 568 00:21:24,122 --> 00:21:25,012 Neutral... 569 00:21:25,657 --> 00:21:26,887 Engine start. 570 00:21:28,469 --> 00:21:29,184 Yes... 571 00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:30,813 Excellent, strapping in. 572 00:21:31,774 --> 00:21:33,204 That one must go in there... 573 00:21:39,786 --> 00:21:40,654 Oh, God! 574 00:21:48,126 --> 00:21:49,614 I've done three minutes 575 00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:51,946 and I already adore 576 00:21:52,028 --> 00:21:52,989 this car. 577 00:21:54,694 --> 00:21:56,241 This is so much fun. 578 00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:00,753 Eventually, 579 00:22:00,847 --> 00:22:01,901 James caught us up, 580 00:22:01,948 --> 00:22:04,093 so we turned off the motorway 581 00:22:04,210 --> 00:22:06,737 and began our search for driving heaven. 582 00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:09,080 It didn't take long. 583 00:22:13,305 --> 00:22:14,382 We found something 584 00:22:14,502 --> 00:22:16,071 called the Côl de Turini: 585 00:22:16,423 --> 00:22:18,028 a ribbon of tarmac 586 00:22:18,110 --> 00:22:19,727 that doesn't really go anywhere, 587 00:22:19,997 --> 00:22:21,244 so it was quiet. 588 00:22:22,651 --> 00:22:23,916 Till we arrived. 589 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,650 This looked like the ideal place 590 00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:36,479 to unleash our cars a little bit. 591 00:22:43,107 --> 00:22:45,497 Lamborghini have used their nous with this car. 592 00:22:45,544 --> 00:22:48,497 They haven't just lobbed away all the things that you might need. 593 00:22:50,084 --> 00:22:51,631 It's got a thinner prop-shaft, 594 00:22:51,690 --> 00:22:53,318 more delicate drive-shafts, 595 00:22:53,389 --> 00:22:55,475 the engine cover is made of plastic, 596 00:22:55,533 --> 00:22:56,623 Rather than glass. 597 00:22:58,846 --> 00:23:00,205 Even the wheel nuts 598 00:23:00,346 --> 00:23:01,902 are made from titanium. 599 00:23:05,559 --> 00:23:07,410 All of these little things add up 600 00:23:07,656 --> 00:23:09,320 to 100kg. 601 00:23:10,434 --> 00:23:11,519 They were going to ditch 602 00:23:11,566 --> 00:23:13,839 the four-wheel drive system to save another 603 00:23:13,898 --> 00:23:15,410 50kg, but 604 00:23:16,148 --> 00:23:18,562 today, here, now, on this road... 605 00:23:19,968 --> 00:23:21,234 ..I'm glad they didn't! 606 00:23:22,703 --> 00:23:25,398 I was loving my Lamborghini, 607 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:26,559 but if anything, 608 00:23:26,629 --> 00:23:28,422 Richard was loving his Beetle 609 00:23:28,527 --> 00:23:29,512 even more. 610 00:23:35,169 --> 00:23:36,142 There is something 611 00:23:36,212 --> 00:23:38,450 fantastically purposeful about this car. 612 00:23:38,579 --> 00:23:40,419 They haven't been flash and messed about 613 00:23:40,935 --> 00:23:42,290 to try and make it look pretty, 614 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:43,825 they've just taken off what they can take off, 615 00:23:44,317 --> 00:23:46,227 made lighter what they can make lighter... 616 00:23:47,282 --> 00:23:48,512 and away we go. 617 00:23:53,854 --> 00:23:56,338 This thing revs higher than the standard car as well, 618 00:23:57,334 --> 00:23:59,643 so you can just keep on coming! 619 00:24:10,076 --> 00:24:12,373 They're so smug about their 620 00:24:13,393 --> 00:24:15,689 fancy-boy versions of lightweight cars. 621 00:24:17,213 --> 00:24:18,607 When you drive a really, 622 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,225 really stripped-out car like this, 623 00:24:20,318 --> 00:24:22,064 you're put back in touch with what 624 00:24:22,134 --> 00:24:23,447 driving is about. 625 00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:25,427 You can hear all the machinery working, 626 00:24:25,474 --> 00:24:27,056 you can feel what it does. 627 00:24:28,368 --> 00:24:30,443 And I was glad I didn't have air conditioning. 628 00:24:31,442 --> 00:24:33,669 I don't know if you've ever picked up an air conditioning pump, 629 00:24:33,739 --> 00:24:35,954 but it is very heavy, 630 00:24:36,024 --> 00:24:38,907 and it saps some of the power of the engine. 631 00:24:40,977 --> 00:24:43,438 I suppose it would be a good idea at this junction 632 00:24:43,485 --> 00:24:45,782 to explain why a lightweight car is a good idea. 633 00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:46,895 You see, the problem is, 634 00:24:46,965 --> 00:24:48,875 modern cars are very heavy. 635 00:24:48,941 --> 00:24:51,824 They've got all sorts of safety equipment on them - airbags and so on. 636 00:24:51,894 --> 00:24:54,214 We demand luxuries like satellite navigation, 637 00:24:54,296 --> 00:24:55,808 and all this weight 638 00:24:55,867 --> 00:24:57,484 spoils the acceleration, 639 00:24:57,531 --> 00:24:58,925 ruins the fuel consumption, 640 00:24:58,984 --> 00:25:00,015 upsets the handling, 641 00:25:00,706 --> 00:25:01,831 and getting rid of it 642 00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:04,081 makes everything better. 643 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:17,647 Wow! Look at this now... Look at this bit! 644 00:25:19,962 --> 00:25:22,095 This road is used as a special stage 645 00:25:22,411 --> 00:25:23,895 on the Monte Carlo rally. 646 00:25:29,230 --> 00:25:30,422 It's busy, 647 00:25:30,548 --> 00:25:31,678 it's twisty, 648 00:25:31,804 --> 00:25:34,629 it's got low walls that you can go over, 649 00:25:34,727 --> 00:25:36,840 huge drops that can kill you with ease... 650 00:25:39,687 --> 00:25:40,649 Meanwhile, 651 00:25:40,733 --> 00:25:41,947 in the Aston... 652 00:25:49,251 --> 00:25:51,197 I didn't care about James, though. 653 00:25:51,323 --> 00:25:53,960 I just cared about this amazing road. 654 00:25:55,839 --> 00:25:57,220 There's something about 655 00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:59,731 stringing together a load of hair-pins. 656 00:26:04,085 --> 00:26:07,161 What a road! I mean, what a road! Honestly, it's.. 657 00:26:11,458 --> 00:26:12,609 This metallic rattle... 658 00:26:12,756 --> 00:26:15,602 I keep belting my elbow on something really, really hard. 659 00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:18,428 Ah, shut up! 660 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,314 Richard and I were now so far ahead of Captain Slow, 661 00:26:33,732 --> 00:26:35,218 we decided to pull over. 662 00:26:35,365 --> 00:26:36,997 How's your Beetle? 663 00:26:37,102 --> 00:26:38,086 Fine, thank you. 664 00:26:38,253 --> 00:26:39,237 How's your Audi? 665 00:26:39,341 --> 00:26:41,727 Very f... Very funny in there, yeah. 666 00:26:42,555 --> 00:26:44,418 The harder I drove to catch up, 667 00:26:44,522 --> 00:26:46,825 the more unbearable the noise became. 668 00:26:47,465 --> 00:26:48,988 Hot... 669 00:26:49,002 --> 00:26:50,481 Uncomfortable... 670 00:26:50,534 --> 00:26:51,934 Numb buttocks... 671 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:54,592 Crushed testicles... 672 00:26:54,606 --> 00:26:55,718 Sweaty shirt... 673 00:26:55,733 --> 00:26:56,784 smelly pits... 674 00:26:59,238 --> 00:27:00,700 Your Porsche, OK? 675 00:27:00,738 --> 00:27:03,520 is £15,000 more... 676 00:27:03,595 --> 00:27:04,292 Than a GT3... 677 00:27:04,352 --> 00:27:05,440 Than a normal GT3, 678 00:27:05,525 --> 00:27:06,814 cos it's got fewer parts. 679 00:27:06,884 --> 00:27:07,705 It's lighter. 680 00:27:07,740 --> 00:27:09,936 So it stands to reason, the fewer parts you have in your Porsche, 681 00:27:09,994 --> 00:27:11,600 the more expensive it becomes. 682 00:27:11,670 --> 00:27:14,072 Until you get tothe point where someone with no Porsche at all 683 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,240 walks past a showroom they're gonna get charged a million pounds! 684 00:27:16,357 --> 00:27:18,936 Oh, no, look... On price... how much is yours? 685 00:27:19,627 --> 00:27:21,209 150,000. 686 00:27:21,314 --> 00:27:23,095 How much more is it than an ordinary one? 687 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,158 That's a pretty flower! 688 00:27:25,263 --> 00:27:25,742 How much more is it? 689 00:27:25,862 --> 00:27:27,619 Come on, how much more is it than an ordinary one? 690 00:27:28,931 --> 00:27:30,326 26 grand! 691 00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:32,169 Well, there you go. For what? 692 00:27:33,090 --> 00:27:36,231 I'm now beginning to go slightly faint... 693 00:27:36,256 --> 00:27:39,206 ... as a result of my dehydration... 694 00:27:39,278 --> 00:27:41,550 My eardrums are bleeding... 695 00:27:41,670 --> 00:27:44,372 and my pelvis has been turned to dust... 696 00:27:45,809 --> 00:27:47,567 It's gonna kill me... 697 00:27:49,383 --> 00:27:50,121 Here he comes... 698 00:27:50,274 --> 00:27:50,801 Finally. 699 00:27:52,067 --> 00:27:53,649 Oh, my testicles! 700 00:28:00,860 --> 00:28:02,677 That is unbelievably good. 701 00:28:02,876 --> 00:28:05,184 - Oh, yeah - Right, what do we think about that road? 702 00:28:05,747 --> 00:28:07,781 You don't wanna talk about your car then, James? 703 00:28:08,086 --> 00:28:09,774 No, I thought we were here to find a good road. 704 00:28:10,043 --> 00:28:11,039 Don't like your car, do you? 705 00:28:11,203 --> 00:28:12,094 No, the car's excellent. 706 00:28:12,141 --> 00:28:13,336 You know you've made a mistake, don't you? 707 00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:14,356 No, it's fantastic. 708 00:28:14,438 --> 00:28:15,598 Well, I think 709 00:28:16,239 --> 00:28:17,680 that road's a benchmark. 710 00:28:18,592 --> 00:28:19,811 A good starting point. 711 00:28:19,846 --> 00:28:21,381 Now we should go and find another, better one. 712 00:28:21,451 --> 00:28:23,268 - Yeah, get stuff to compare it to. - Italy. 713 00:28:23,537 --> 00:28:24,967 - What? No, Switzerland. - Italy. 714 00:28:25,166 --> 00:28:26,537 What about Austria? 715 00:28:26,736 --> 00:28:28,084 He just wants to talk about the war. 716 00:28:28,143 --> 00:28:29,760 You'll get all maudlin and unbearable! 717 00:28:29,818 --> 00:28:30,451 Oh yes... 718 00:28:30,554 --> 00:28:32,593 Nonono. I think Austria is 719 00:28:32,722 --> 00:28:33,941 - under-rated. - It's got smooth roads. 720 00:28:34,011 --> 00:28:35,846 - We've never been there together. - It is the smooth roads! 721 00:28:35,975 --> 00:28:39,116 It is the smooth roads! It's because his suspension's so hard. 722 00:28:39,174 --> 00:28:40,932 Italy's got really bumpy roads. 723 00:28:41,143 --> 00:28:43,838 Italy'd be quite entertaining. We should probably look at Italy. 724 00:28:59,948 --> 00:29:03,229 A little beep there, telling me I've used a tank of fuel already... 725 00:29:04,483 --> 00:29:05,843 That's not good... 726 00:29:07,314 --> 00:29:09,470 I've got to do something to get the seat higher up. 727 00:29:09,517 --> 00:29:10,912 This is ridiculous! I've got... 728 00:29:10,959 --> 00:29:13,197 I'm like an 85-year-old man! 729 00:29:18,810 --> 00:29:20,181 I was out of juice. 730 00:29:23,238 --> 00:29:25,359 And although the camera crew had more, 731 00:29:25,476 --> 00:29:27,421 I couldn't get it from their cans 732 00:29:27,761 --> 00:29:29,015 into the car... 733 00:29:32,914 --> 00:29:34,426 You know what's happened here? 734 00:29:34,508 --> 00:29:36,804 Audi, who of course own Lamborghini, they've built 735 00:29:36,924 --> 00:29:38,153 all of the car, and then 736 00:29:38,621 --> 00:29:40,050 just let the Italians, 737 00:29:40,098 --> 00:29:41,692 to keep them happy, do one thing. 738 00:29:49,906 --> 00:29:50,469 Hi! 739 00:29:50,633 --> 00:29:51,711 Oh, dear. 740 00:29:51,765 --> 00:29:53,089 Nice view here... 741 00:29:53,171 --> 00:29:54,929 Just thought you'd stop and admire it? 742 00:29:55,152 --> 00:29:55,549 Yeah... 743 00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:57,179 I might need your help... 744 00:29:57,343 --> 00:29:57,882 Why? 745 00:29:59,441 --> 00:30:00,566 There might be a problem... 746 00:30:00,989 --> 00:30:01,646 What? 747 00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:03,122 Fuel filler-cap won't open... 748 00:30:04,259 --> 00:30:04,786 Never mind... 749 00:30:05,337 --> 00:30:06,380 - See you in Italy! - No! 750 00:30:09,122 --> 00:30:11,454 I broke out the instruction manual, which 751 00:30:11,585 --> 00:30:13,085 was all in Italian. 752 00:30:13,348 --> 00:30:15,328 Consola centrale con... 753 00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:17,274 interruttori... 754 00:30:17,719 --> 00:30:19,922 apperturi sportello... 755 00:30:20,462 --> 00:30:22,337 miformimento... 756 00:30:22,683 --> 00:30:24,324 We are useless Italians 757 00:30:24,394 --> 00:30:26,269 and we haven't built this properly... 758 00:30:33,296 --> 00:30:34,468 Yesss!! 759 00:30:36,999 --> 00:30:38,260 Once we'd regrouped, 760 00:30:38,307 --> 00:30:41,166 we joined the motorway along the Italian Riviera. 761 00:30:41,752 --> 00:30:44,506 By no means was this a great driving road, 762 00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:47,149 but there were some consolations... 763 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,740 It's a symphony, 764 00:31:04,126 --> 00:31:05,275 is what it is. 765 00:31:05,333 --> 00:31:06,845 The big V10 in this, 766 00:31:06,892 --> 00:31:09,107 The flat six of Hammond's Porsche 767 00:31:09,189 --> 00:31:10,790 and then that brutal V8 768 00:31:10,848 --> 00:31:12,173 in the racing car. 769 00:31:13,673 --> 00:31:15,266 The trouble with tunnel blasting 770 00:31:15,313 --> 00:31:17,774 in a car with atomic power like the Lambo 771 00:31:18,055 --> 00:31:20,406 is that the fuel economy does drop a bit. 772 00:31:20,851 --> 00:31:21,800 I was doing 773 00:31:21,906 --> 00:31:23,546 9 miles to the gallon. 774 00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:24,906 Oh, dear. 775 00:31:24,964 --> 00:31:26,253 Is this your second fillup? 776 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:27,613 Yes. 777 00:31:27,789 --> 00:31:30,808 Mine's got a 110 liter endurance fuel tank. 778 00:31:30,850 --> 00:31:33,557 If you two need to get in my slipstream when we're going up the hills 779 00:31:33,627 --> 00:31:34,706 'cos I know you don't have much power... 780 00:31:34,753 --> 00:31:37,155 At no point have I liked more power to keep up with this thing. 781 00:31:37,249 --> 00:31:38,420 How many horsepower? 782 00:31:38,608 --> 00:31:39,510 415. 783 00:31:39,698 --> 00:31:40,952 522. 784 00:31:40,994 --> 00:31:42,037 It's how it uses them, 785 00:31:42,097 --> 00:31:42,986 how it deploys them. 786 00:31:43,139 --> 00:31:44,855 Top speed? 787 00:31:45,336 --> 00:31:46,207 175. 788 00:31:46,267 --> 00:31:47,065 Top speed? 789 00:31:47,190 --> 00:31:48,279 185-ish. 790 00:31:48,341 --> 00:31:50,309 195. I'm just gonna say goodbye and leave... 791 00:31:50,392 --> 00:31:52,572 This is probably a good car, I'll grant you that, 792 00:31:52,692 --> 00:31:55,813 but it's half-hearted and limp-wristed, it's not a real 793 00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:58,638 It's not a real luxury supercar and neither is it a proper lightweight. 794 00:31:58,785 --> 00:32:01,799 James, a little compromise might be useful in your car, 795 00:32:01,924 --> 00:32:02,316 be honest... 796 00:32:02,436 --> 00:32:03,138 No. 797 00:32:03,452 --> 00:32:04,469 I love it! 798 00:32:05,076 --> 00:32:08,006 In fact, he loved it so much he bought it a present. 799 00:32:08,299 --> 00:32:09,869 - What's that? - I've bought a cushion. 800 00:32:10,078 --> 00:32:13,071 - Are you admitting that it's uncomfortable? - Nononono... 801 00:32:14,745 --> 00:32:16,841 He's admitting his car is uncomfortable. 802 00:32:16,961 --> 00:32:20,793 - No, it's been... - Let me guess, that's interior design, a scatter cushion to look pretty. 803 00:32:25,390 --> 00:32:27,713 So much nicer... 804 00:32:28,445 --> 00:32:30,203 ... my poor buttocks... 805 00:32:30,957 --> 00:32:33,824 Yeah, but would the weight of that cushion be a problem 806 00:32:33,908 --> 00:32:36,984 if Hammond and I suddenly decided that we were 8 years old? 807 00:32:37,374 --> 00:32:38,902 Paddle on the right... 808 00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:51,292 The Lambo and the Porsche are very, very close... 809 00:32:51,940 --> 00:32:55,456 The Aston Martin seems to be very, very slow! 810 00:32:55,749 --> 00:32:58,448 Didn't expect that in the "racing car". 811 00:32:59,369 --> 00:33:01,130 We were heading for the Italian lakes, 812 00:33:01,250 --> 00:33:03,282 but it was time to stop for the night. 813 00:33:03,617 --> 00:33:06,066 and since I'd insisted on coming to Italy, 814 00:33:06,254 --> 00:33:08,305 I'd booked the hotel. 815 00:33:10,838 --> 00:33:12,575 This doesn't look like a very good town. 816 00:33:13,056 --> 00:33:14,689 They're going to shout at me. 817 00:33:25,321 --> 00:33:26,954 Tell me we've stopped here 818 00:33:27,163 --> 00:33:28,628 to steal some wheels or something. 819 00:33:28,733 --> 00:33:29,863 It could be worse. 820 00:33:29,946 --> 00:33:33,274 How could this be worse...?! Is that the motorway? 821 00:33:34,148 --> 00:33:36,973 Oh, Jeremy, I always wanted to stay in the Italian lakes. 822 00:33:37,078 --> 00:33:38,480 We're staying here tonight. 823 00:33:38,731 --> 00:33:39,506 Well, yes. 824 00:33:39,673 --> 00:33:41,557 So we're carrying on by bicycle tomorrow? 825 00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:43,356 Because these will be stolen, obviously. 826 00:33:43,482 --> 00:33:46,056 They did say they had a secure car park 827 00:33:46,182 --> 00:33:47,856 that nobody could break into 828 00:33:47,961 --> 00:33:49,844 And I can see exactly what they mean: 829 00:33:49,970 --> 00:33:51,288 there's absolutely no way 830 00:33:51,393 --> 00:33:54,114 that anybody could possibly get into this car park 831 00:33:54,198 --> 00:33:56,143 in any way, shape or form. 832 00:33:56,289 --> 00:33:57,796 It's actually very simple. 833 00:33:57,963 --> 00:34:00,433 - What were you thinking? - Do you know my car doesn't have a key 834 00:34:00,513 --> 00:34:01,476 or a lock? 835 00:34:01,622 --> 00:34:04,252 Did they save weight by not fitting locks to it? 836 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,135 To be continued... 837 00:34:12,504 --> 00:34:13,383 I know. 838 00:34:13,613 --> 00:34:14,622 I'm sorry. 839 00:34:15,342 --> 00:34:16,196 Sorry. 840 00:34:16,949 --> 00:34:18,774 That hotel had 841 00:34:18,925 --> 00:34:19,946 no bar, 842 00:34:20,113 --> 00:34:21,185 no restaurant, 843 00:34:21,336 --> 00:34:22,608 no air conditioning in the rooms. 844 00:34:22,742 --> 00:34:24,404 No, it was like being in his car. 845 00:34:24,554 --> 00:34:25,693 Which is why 846 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,149 we left the crew behind 847 00:34:27,283 --> 00:34:29,008 and us three all went 848 00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:29,996 nearer to the lakes 849 00:34:30,063 --> 00:34:31,151 to find another hotel. 850 00:34:31,302 --> 00:34:32,792 And the lakes are to the North. 851 00:34:32,876 --> 00:34:33,294 Yes. 852 00:34:33,378 --> 00:34:34,617 And which way did you take us? 853 00:34:34,701 --> 00:34:35,253 North. 854 00:34:35,370 --> 00:34:35,973 - East. - East. 855 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,546 - Yes... - You made us drive 200km 856 00:34:38,613 --> 00:34:39,919 in the wrong direction. 857 00:34:40,002 --> 00:34:41,375 I did that. I did do that. 858 00:34:41,442 --> 00:34:43,820 But we found a hotel in the end, and all was well. 859 00:34:43,971 --> 00:34:45,561 You ruined our holiday! 860 00:34:45,628 --> 00:34:47,688 I did ruin your holiday, and I'm very sorry about that. 861 00:34:47,755 --> 00:34:50,601 We must now move on, because it's time to meet our guest. 862 00:34:50,701 --> 00:34:53,214 Now, the Star In A Reasonably Priced Car tonight 863 00:34:53,281 --> 00:34:54,637 once said that she and her husband 864 00:34:54,704 --> 00:34:58,036 set their alarm clock an hour early every morning so they had chance 865 00:34:58,136 --> 00:34:59,258 to make love 866 00:34:59,325 --> 00:35:00,664 before going to work. 867 00:35:00,832 --> 00:35:02,154 Much like James May, 868 00:35:02,255 --> 00:35:03,912 although of course he lives alone. 869 00:35:06,853 --> 00:35:09,716 Ladies and gentlemen, star of everything that matters: 870 00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,625 Dame Helen Mirren! 871 00:35:22,669 --> 00:35:23,875 I can rest now. 872 00:35:24,479 --> 00:35:25,428 Have a seat. 873 00:35:28,331 --> 00:35:30,440 I can't tell you how excited I am 874 00:35:30,534 --> 00:35:32,233 to have you here. 875 00:35:32,315 --> 00:35:33,956 No, I really, genuinely mean it. 876 00:35:34,225 --> 00:35:34,846 877 00:35:34,905 --> 00:35:36,381 talks to you about The Queen, obviously 878 00:35:36,557 --> 00:35:38,409 Prime Suspect as well... 879 00:35:38,643 --> 00:35:40,108 But you were in The Long Good Friday. 880 00:35:40,169 --> 00:35:40,872 Yes, I was. 881 00:35:40,931 --> 00:35:43,075 Now, this to me, I don't know if anybody would agree with this, 882 00:35:43,169 --> 00:35:44,601 is just the greatest film of all time... 883 00:35:44,657 --> 00:35:47,788 You know, three quarters have never heard of The Long Good Friday. 884 00:35:47,894 --> 00:35:50,062 - Have you heard...? Yes? - they're far too young. 885 00:35:50,155 --> 00:35:51,573 This audience you see, 886 00:35:51,661 --> 00:35:53,262 - Yeah? - Well edu... well... 887 00:35:53,332 --> 00:35:54,551 well educated. 888 00:35:55,535 --> 00:35:56,367 They have heard of it. 889 00:35:56,426 --> 00:35:57,504 But you live in LA,... 890 00:35:57,539 --> 00:35:58,852 ... I've been trying to clear this up, now? 891 00:35:58,910 --> 00:36:00,856 No, I live in Woping, actually. 892 00:36:00,938 --> 00:36:01,531 You live in Woping? 893 00:36:01,590 --> 00:36:03,008 You've got a house in Los Angeles... 894 00:36:03,066 --> 00:36:05,433 My husband's American so we obviously spend a lot of time there. 895 00:36:05,515 --> 00:36:08,011 - Is it normal over there? - In that car culture, you know. 896 00:36:09,242 --> 00:36:10,461 - Is it what, there? - Normal. 897 00:36:10,601 --> 00:36:11,686 In Los Angeles. 898 00:36:11,733 --> 00:36:12,471 No, it's weird. 899 00:36:12,553 --> 00:36:13,374 It's LA. 900 00:36:13,456 --> 00:36:15,893 I'd have thought you'd love it 'cos people live in their cars 901 00:36:15,940 --> 00:36:18,354 and they do everything in their cars. 902 00:36:22,403 --> 00:36:23,470 Now, your autobiography. 903 00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:25,216 I've actually read it and liked it. 904 00:36:25,263 --> 00:36:26,048 No! Really? 905 00:36:26,095 --> 00:36:27,618 Yeah, I have. And what's more I got to one chapter 906 00:36:27,665 --> 00:36:29,083 where I went a bit white when you say 907 00:36:29,165 --> 00:36:30,419 - that when you were living in Parsons Green, 908 00:36:30,489 --> 00:36:31,110 Yes, I did... 909 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,117 - and I think I know what you're going over... - this is in Fulham in South West London. 910 00:36:33,867 --> 00:36:35,660 You, what is it? you became 911 00:36:35,718 --> 00:36:37,300 disillusioned with British society 912 00:36:37,379 --> 00:36:39,980 because of all the young hoorays living round there, 913 00:36:40,027 --> 00:36:42,148 - throwing bread rolls. - Yes. 914 00:36:42,254 --> 00:36:43,367 I... That was me. 915 00:36:43,988 --> 00:36:45,441 I did live in Parsons Green. 916 00:36:45,488 --> 00:36:46,519 - You didn't? - And I may... 917 00:36:46,578 --> 00:36:48,004 - I did... - And did you throw food? 918 00:36:48,074 --> 00:36:48,496 Yes. 919 00:36:50,277 --> 00:36:52,703 I used to order it for its aerodynamic efficiency. 920 00:36:52,762 --> 00:36:55,820 You're one of those ghastly, ghastly guys... 921 00:36:55,879 --> 00:36:56,488 ohmygod! 922 00:36:56,558 --> 00:36:58,117 that drove me out of England. 923 00:37:00,069 --> 00:37:01,241 Didn't you also say 924 00:37:01,299 --> 00:37:03,221 somewhere just the other day that I was reading, 925 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,014 that I remind you of Paris Hilton? 926 00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:08,518 Yes, I said you were like her, certainly, yes, I did. 927 00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:10,946 I wake up every morning and go, "Paris...?" 928 00:37:11,076 --> 00:37:12,855 - "Oh, no, I'm not." - The thing is, 929 00:37:13,117 --> 00:37:14,844 Jeremy, you are uber-male. 930 00:37:15,001 --> 00:37:16,774 and Paris is uber-female. 931 00:37:16,983 --> 00:37:18,370 I think that you're both... 932 00:37:18,527 --> 00:37:20,829 you're the two sides of the same coin. 933 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,157 I don't put pictures of myself naked on the Internet. 934 00:37:23,210 --> 00:37:25,747 That's one thing I don't do 935 00:37:25,878 --> 00:37:27,134 Maybe I'll give it a whirl. 936 00:37:27,265 --> 00:37:30,770 Neither did she, to her credit, if someone else did it. 937 00:37:30,979 --> 00:37:32,837 Here's a tip, Paris, if you're watching: 938 00:37:32,994 --> 00:37:34,250 Have sex without a camera. 939 00:37:36,604 --> 00:37:38,802 Now, anyway, let's move on to motoring if we may. 940 00:37:39,577 --> 00:37:41,539 I don't think we're gonna agree on much here, actually, 941 00:37:41,696 --> 00:37:43,946 Because you're not really a big car fan. 942 00:37:44,459 --> 00:37:46,588 No, my first car was a disaster. 943 00:37:46,816 --> 00:37:49,391 It was an MG Midget. Those little white things. 944 00:37:49,636 --> 00:37:51,952 My brother sold it to me. 945 00:37:52,156 --> 00:37:54,650 The engine blew up within two days. 946 00:37:55,508 --> 00:37:57,143 Didn't you have a Golf GTI? 947 00:37:57,634 --> 00:38:01,190 Yes, I did. I did. That came to a sticky end, 948 00:38:01,435 --> 00:38:03,929 - my poor old Golf GTI. - Why? What happened to it? 949 00:38:04,133 --> 00:38:07,035 I was doing theatre in... 950 00:38:07,526 --> 00:38:11,205 at the Old... no, the Young Vic, excuse me, in Waterloo, 951 00:38:11,450 --> 00:38:14,066 and I'd just cleared out my closet and I had all this stuff 952 00:38:14,271 --> 00:38:16,315 to take to the charity shop. 953 00:38:16,519 --> 00:38:18,563 And then I thought, well... you know... 954 00:38:18,808 --> 00:38:20,688 there were no charity shops, I didn't have the time,... 955 00:38:20,852 --> 00:38:23,795 and I knew everyone said: keep your car locked 956 00:38:23,999 --> 00:38:26,575 around here because things get nicked out of the car. 957 00:38:26,724 --> 00:38:27,827 So I thought, "Perfect. 958 00:38:27,991 --> 00:38:29,340 I'll leave my stuff in the car, 959 00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:30,927 I'll leave the car open 960 00:38:31,031 --> 00:38:32,036 and it'll all get nicked." 961 00:38:32,140 --> 00:38:33,731 Well, instead of the stuff getting nicked, 962 00:38:33,836 --> 00:38:35,259 my car got torched. 963 00:38:36,577 --> 00:38:37,435 - No! - Yeah... 964 00:38:37,477 --> 00:38:40,010 I came out and it was like this hulk. 965 00:38:40,177 --> 00:38:41,349 So what have you got now? 966 00:38:41,475 --> 00:38:43,107 I don't have a car now. 967 00:38:44,070 --> 00:38:45,786 Have you got an Oyster Card, then? 968 00:38:46,142 --> 00:38:47,063 Yes, I do, yeah. 969 00:38:47,251 --> 00:38:48,109 What is one? 970 00:38:49,390 --> 00:38:50,582 It's a brilliant thing. 971 00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:51,796 It's this little thing 972 00:38:51,901 --> 00:38:53,973 and when you go on public transport... 973 00:38:54,224 --> 00:38:56,129 which are like buses 974 00:38:56,275 --> 00:38:58,598 and tubes and trains, 975 00:38:58,703 --> 00:38:59,896 you have this little card 976 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,277 and you swipe it and pop! 977 00:39:01,326 --> 00:39:01,654 you're on. 978 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,459 Why wouldn't you go in a car though? 979 00:39:03,553 --> 00:39:05,205 And there's a chauffeur driving the bus, 980 00:39:05,628 --> 00:39:07,035 you know, in a uniform. 981 00:39:07,128 --> 00:39:09,343 And the tramp sitting next to you, vomiting on you. 982 00:39:11,089 --> 00:39:12,882 Let's talk about supercars briefly. 983 00:39:13,105 --> 00:39:14,335 What's a supercar? 984 00:39:14,476 --> 00:39:16,364 Ferraris, Lamborghinis,... 985 00:39:16,452 --> 00:39:18,057 where are you on those? 986 00:39:18,421 --> 00:39:19,358 What do you think of a... 987 00:39:19,405 --> 00:39:20,014 you know, a... 988 00:39:20,530 --> 00:39:22,217 a middle-aged chap in a Lambo? 989 00:39:23,881 --> 00:39:24,655 Well, I think I... 990 00:39:25,810 --> 00:39:27,392 I just think most guys who... 991 00:39:27,486 --> 00:39:28,048 drive them... 992 00:39:28,095 --> 00:39:29,677 When I see them I go, 993 00:39:29,794 --> 00:39:30,673 "Dickhead...", you know. 994 00:39:37,329 --> 00:39:38,325 Oh... Sorry. 995 00:39:39,755 --> 00:39:41,466 Probably should have said "Pillock". 996 00:39:41,555 --> 00:39:42,914 Richard Hammond's got one. 997 00:39:44,063 --> 00:39:45,176 No, he hasn't, has he? 998 00:39:45,785 --> 00:39:46,477 He has. 999 00:39:46,512 --> 00:39:47,238 He's not a... 1000 00:39:47,356 --> 00:39:48,176 He's not a pillock, 1001 00:39:48,223 --> 00:39:49,313 he's a nice guy. 1002 00:39:49,383 --> 00:39:50,051 So I'm sorry, Richard. 1003 00:39:50,109 --> 00:39:50,625 Is he? 1004 00:39:50,859 --> 00:39:52,125 - Yes. - I thought he was a pillock. 1005 00:39:54,007 --> 00:39:54,909 So, OK, 1006 00:39:54,968 --> 00:39:56,022 the lap, obviously. 1007 00:39:56,093 --> 00:39:56,608 Was it fun? 1008 00:39:56,936 --> 00:40:00,639 I don't know if fun is the right word. It was... 1009 00:40:00,733 --> 00:40:01,707 terrifying, 1010 00:40:01,824 --> 00:40:03,008 it was nerve-wracking, 1011 00:40:03,066 --> 00:40:05,351 it was adrenaline-pumping... 1012 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,800 My hands were shaking like this at the end. 1013 00:40:07,929 --> 00:40:09,664 It was sweat-making. 1014 00:40:09,828 --> 00:40:10,765 It was... 1015 00:40:11,393 --> 00:40:12,488 It was fabulous. 1016 00:40:12,635 --> 00:40:13,854 - You did like it? - It was fabulous. 1017 00:40:13,913 --> 00:40:15,471 Oh, that, I was thinking... 1018 00:40:18,389 --> 00:40:19,573 Shall we have a look at it? 1019 00:40:19,768 --> 00:40:20,858 Yeah. 1020 00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:22,475 Right. Sorry about the television, 1021 00:40:22,534 --> 00:40:24,784 but here we go, it's like being in the '60s. 1022 00:40:26,982 --> 00:40:28,446 That's an aggressive start. 1023 00:40:29,103 --> 00:40:30,380 Later, hard, 1024 00:40:30,954 --> 00:40:31,482 hold... 1025 00:40:32,032 --> 00:40:32,642 Later... 1026 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:33,696 hard... 1027 00:40:34,290 --> 00:40:36,298 You doing the shipping forecasting, there? 1028 00:40:37,653 --> 00:40:38,590 Douglas, 1029 00:40:38,684 --> 00:40:39,692 Dogger, 1030 00:40:39,797 --> 00:40:40,618 Hurd. 1031 00:40:42,024 --> 00:40:42,727 Later... 1032 00:40:43,683 --> 00:40:44,421 Hard! 1033 00:40:44,539 --> 00:40:45,488 Faroe... 1034 00:40:45,523 --> 00:40:46,332 What is that? 1035 00:40:46,390 --> 00:40:48,499 - Is that what The Stig told you to do? - He did. 1036 00:40:48,582 --> 00:40:49,648 Did he tell you to do that? 1037 00:40:49,695 --> 00:40:51,019 Slower, harder... 1038 00:40:51,893 --> 00:40:53,281 Slow into the corners... 1039 00:40:53,335 --> 00:40:54,471 and then fast out! 1040 00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:55,854 It's slow... 1041 00:40:56,534 --> 00:40:57,343 - now go! - now go! 1042 00:40:57,507 --> 00:40:58,936 No! You, idiot! 1043 00:41:01,006 --> 00:41:03,115 My language was a lot bluer than that. 1044 00:41:03,186 --> 00:41:04,112 Oh, yes. 1045 00:41:04,721 --> 00:41:06,151 Here we go, now we're coming up to... 1046 00:41:06,268 --> 00:41:08,471 - the Follow... - It's such a silly-looking little car. 1047 00:41:09,495 --> 00:41:10,386 Did you like it? 1048 00:41:10,526 --> 00:41:11,065 No. 1049 00:41:11,124 --> 00:41:12,144 No. It's awful, isn't it? 1050 00:41:13,163 --> 00:41:14,429 Oh, yes! 1051 00:41:16,433 --> 00:41:17,424 I liked that bit there. 1052 00:41:17,495 --> 00:41:18,819 I liked cutting the corner there. 1053 00:41:18,936 --> 00:41:20,471 Now we're really picking up speed. 1054 00:41:22,791 --> 00:41:24,268 That's the wrong gear. 1055 00:41:24,373 --> 00:41:25,885 Oh, Was it? Is that fourth? 1056 00:41:26,002 --> 00:41:28,393 That was third, it was going ddd-rrr. 1057 00:41:29,993 --> 00:41:31,657 This is really picking up speed now. 1058 00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:33,240 This is Michael Gambon's Corner. 1059 00:41:33,310 --> 00:41:34,786 Where we nearly lost him. 1060 00:41:34,910 --> 00:41:35,824 And round there. 1061 00:41:35,895 --> 00:41:38,812 And there we are, ladies and gentlemen, across the line. 1062 00:41:45,429 --> 00:41:46,167 So... 1063 00:41:51,206 --> 00:41:53,902 Miraculously undamaged in the fire, 1064 00:41:54,506 --> 00:41:55,467 is our board. 1065 00:41:55,854 --> 00:41:56,686 You had a fire? 1066 00:41:56,744 --> 00:41:59,357 Channel Five set fire to everything we own. 1067 00:41:59,915 --> 00:42:01,028 Honestly, they did. 1068 00:42:01,145 --> 00:42:02,516 That's why we're on rubbish furniture, I apologise... 1069 00:42:02,563 --> 00:42:04,508 But anyway, this survived 1070 00:42:04,567 --> 00:42:06,653 and where do you think you've come there? 1071 00:42:07,661 --> 00:42:09,336 If this is the thespian zone... 1072 00:42:09,418 --> 00:42:09,864 Yes. 1073 00:42:09,958 --> 00:42:11,735 Am I in the thespian zone? 1074 00:42:11,793 --> 00:42:12,297 Yes. 1075 00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:15,473 Ray Winstone, Kristin Scott Thomas... 1076 00:42:15,543 --> 00:42:15,895 Yes... 1077 00:42:16,117 --> 00:42:17,371 Rick Wakeman is not a thesp... 1078 00:42:17,442 --> 00:42:18,449 - He is actually. - Yeah. 1079 00:42:18,672 --> 00:42:20,109 And then Brian Cox 1080 00:42:20,179 --> 00:42:22,218 - and Jimmy Carr, who's a comedian. - I have no idea. 1081 00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:22,722 Ready? 1082 00:42:22,769 --> 00:42:23,179 Yes. 1083 00:42:23,226 --> 00:42:24,140 One... 1084 00:42:24,855 --> 00:42:25,581 50... 1085 00:42:26,343 --> 00:42:27,011 No! 1086 00:42:27,105 --> 00:42:28,476 What do you mean "oh"? 1087 00:42:28,534 --> 00:42:30,041 1.52.8 1088 00:42:30,146 --> 00:42:31,482 - which puts you... - Not bad. 1089 00:42:41,775 --> 00:42:43,322 So, how many Oscars have you won? 1090 00:42:43,439 --> 00:42:43,837 One. 1091 00:42:43,872 --> 00:42:44,482 One Oscar. 1092 00:42:44,529 --> 00:42:45,501 Emmys? 1093 00:42:45,536 --> 00:42:46,157 Four. 1094 00:42:46,298 --> 00:42:47,236 Golden Globes? 1095 00:42:47,435 --> 00:42:48,501 - Three, I think. - Three... 1096 00:42:48,642 --> 00:42:50,196 And now it turns out you're faster 1097 00:42:50,266 --> 00:42:52,188 round our track than Rick Wakeman. 1098 00:42:52,469 --> 00:42:53,407 - Ladies and gentlemen, - What a triumph! 1099 00:42:53,477 --> 00:42:55,176 - Dame Helen Mirren. - Thank you. 1100 00:43:00,672 --> 00:43:01,648 Right! 1101 00:43:02,171 --> 00:43:03,152 Now... 1102 00:43:03,642 --> 00:43:05,670 Now it is time... 1103 00:43:06,030 --> 00:43:07,016 It is time to do... 1104 00:43:07,136 --> 00:43:08,482 the Cool Wall! 1105 00:43:14,107 --> 00:43:15,677 Unfortunately... 1106 00:43:16,036 --> 00:43:17,933 Unfortunately, the Cool Wall was... 1107 00:43:18,194 --> 00:43:20,186 one of the major casualties 1108 00:43:20,387 --> 00:43:21,492 in our fire 1109 00:43:21,593 --> 00:43:23,234 but we will persevere... 1110 00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:26,348 Yes we will, and we're gonna kick off with this: 1111 00:43:26,951 --> 00:43:27,922 Yes! 1112 00:43:28,056 --> 00:43:29,211 It's... 1113 00:43:29,562 --> 00:43:31,287 A... is it a Golf? 1114 00:43:31,454 --> 00:43:32,861 No, that's more an Alfa... 1115 00:43:33,196 --> 00:43:36,421 - I don't know, that headlamp... - I think it's an Alfa... 1116 00:43:36,522 --> 00:43:38,062 What do you think that is? 1117 00:43:39,636 --> 00:43:40,674 It's an Audi. 1118 00:43:42,449 --> 00:43:44,408 How empty is your life? 1119 00:43:45,651 --> 00:43:48,213 That you were able to determine that this is an Audi 1120 00:43:48,333 --> 00:43:49,686 from that photograph! 1121 00:43:49,898 --> 00:43:51,404 This isn't working! 1122 00:43:51,572 --> 00:43:54,150 This isn't... I mean, even if we put them up... 1123 00:43:54,435 --> 00:43:55,373 it won't be much of... 1124 00:43:55,473 --> 00:43:57,700 It's just ruined, the Cool Wall's ruined... 1125 00:43:57,784 --> 00:43:58,236 Sorry... 1126 00:43:59,207 --> 00:44:01,059 When Vicky Butler-Henderson burnt the... 1127 00:44:01,578 --> 00:44:03,320 burnt the Cool Wall, 1128 00:44:03,420 --> 00:44:05,295 she thought she'd flummoxed us. 1129 00:44:05,413 --> 00:44:07,606 But it doesn't matter, because we're gonna move on... 1130 00:44:07,706 --> 00:44:08,744 to something else that isn't... 1131 00:44:08,811 --> 00:44:10,804 James May hasn't been burnt... 1132 00:44:10,938 --> 00:44:11,859 Hooray for that! 1133 00:44:13,734 --> 00:44:14,783 No, actually I'm fine. 1134 00:44:14,934 --> 00:44:17,379 So, let's get back to tonight's big film, 1135 00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:18,685 in which the three of us 1136 00:44:18,785 --> 00:44:20,744 are attempting to find the best driving road 1137 00:44:20,794 --> 00:44:21,631 in the world 1138 00:44:21,765 --> 00:44:22,686 in these three 1139 00:44:22,787 --> 00:44:24,310 lightweight supercars. 1140 00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:27,391 Yes, now, we can't agree which one is the best, 1141 00:44:27,776 --> 00:44:29,484 only that his Aston is 1142 00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:30,594 just awful. 1143 00:44:31,297 --> 00:44:33,005 To be honest, we couldn't even agree on where we wanted to go. 1144 00:44:33,072 --> 00:44:34,361 I wanted to go to Austria, 1145 00:44:34,629 --> 00:44:35,918 he wanted Switzerland, 1146 00:44:36,136 --> 00:44:38,614 but when we left the action we were driving hundreds 1147 00:44:38,848 --> 00:44:40,305 and hundreds of 1148 00:44:40,456 --> 00:44:41,343 boring 1149 00:44:41,494 --> 00:44:43,503 motorway miles because Jeremy said 1150 00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:44,970 that the Italian Lakes 1151 00:44:45,087 --> 00:44:46,292 would be brilliant. 1152 00:44:50,595 --> 00:44:51,449 Look at it. 1153 00:44:51,801 --> 00:44:54,748 Lake Maggiore is just fantastic. 1154 00:44:55,149 --> 00:44:56,640 And as for the roads... 1155 00:45:04,293 --> 00:45:06,872 I sat for a day on a motorway, in an oven 1156 00:45:06,972 --> 00:45:08,663 essentially, for this. 1157 00:45:08,781 --> 00:45:11,024 This road is rubbish. 1158 00:45:11,393 --> 00:45:12,246 The traffic, 1159 00:45:12,330 --> 00:45:14,996 coupled with the hotel fiasco the night before, 1160 00:45:15,254 --> 00:45:17,598 had put the chaps in quite a bad mood. 1161 00:45:18,418 --> 00:45:19,775 We've come all the way here 1162 00:45:19,858 --> 00:45:21,131 in these cars and you BLEEP it up 1163 00:45:21,231 --> 00:45:22,386 because you're a BLEEP 1164 00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:24,396 feeble-minded BLEEP. 1165 00:45:24,982 --> 00:45:26,918 - Utter, utter BLEEP! - I think... 1166 00:45:28,358 --> 00:45:29,279 BLEEP! BLEEP useless. 1167 00:45:29,379 --> 00:45:31,037 Look at the colour of that water. 1168 00:45:31,087 --> 00:45:31,991 That's beautiful! 1169 00:45:32,209 --> 00:45:35,122 Why did you think this would be good, you big daft BLEEP? 1170 00:45:35,809 --> 00:45:36,629 Trust me. 1171 00:45:36,746 --> 00:45:37,768 Italy is the place. 1172 00:45:37,835 --> 00:45:38,984 - SHUT UP!! - It's the home of... 1173 00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:40,591 the fast car. 1174 00:45:40,692 --> 00:45:43,337 Why do we boter? We should have just come here on a BLEEP bus. 1175 00:45:45,497 --> 00:45:47,222 There is a speed bump on the road. 1176 00:45:47,322 --> 00:45:49,800 Oh, that's the final straw. 1177 00:45:50,738 --> 00:45:53,478 Oh, I'm exploring the limits of grip here... 1178 00:45:55,721 --> 00:45:58,283 Essentially, he's brought us up somebody's driveway. 1179 00:46:00,660 --> 00:46:02,134 Realising that I'd 1180 00:46:02,184 --> 00:46:03,557 mucked things up a bit, 1181 00:46:03,791 --> 00:46:06,169 I suggested we try the other side of the lake, 1182 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,365 which meant catching a ferry. 1183 00:46:16,368 --> 00:46:19,248 What we're experiencing is the world's greatest driving forest. 1184 00:46:19,432 --> 00:46:20,973 Where do you want to go? 1185 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:22,888 Switzerland, because it was built... 1186 00:46:22,955 --> 00:46:24,713 - Switzerland is rubbish. - Laws, laws... 1187 00:46:24,796 --> 00:46:26,772 Do you want to wash your car when you get to Switzerland? 1188 00:46:26,906 --> 00:46:28,446 Because you can't by law. 1189 00:46:31,192 --> 00:46:34,239 - You wanna up the brake horsepower of your car? Not allowed. - No, I'll leave it as it is. 1190 00:46:34,340 --> 00:46:35,512 Tiny, tiny bit of speeding? 1191 00:46:35,579 --> 00:46:36,165 Prison. 1192 00:46:36,277 --> 00:46:37,047 Trust me, 1193 00:46:37,148 --> 00:46:39,006 Switzerland is the wrong country. 1194 00:46:47,645 --> 00:46:48,499 Eventually, 1195 00:46:48,734 --> 00:46:50,341 we arrived at the other side. 1196 00:46:54,898 --> 00:46:56,388 So let's get the air conditioning on. 1197 00:46:57,041 --> 00:46:58,582 17 degrees? 1198 00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:00,206 I'm going to have it about that, yes. 1199 00:47:00,323 --> 00:47:02,373 Yeah, I'm going to have 17, it's getting... 1200 00:47:02,449 --> 00:47:04,425 It's half 12 and it's getting really getting hot. 1201 00:47:10,885 --> 00:47:12,442 In order for the ferry to unload, 1202 00:47:12,509 --> 00:47:14,686 James had to disembark first. 1203 00:47:23,736 --> 00:47:24,547 Hang on a minute, blokes, 1204 00:47:24,667 --> 00:47:25,762 something's not quite right. 1205 00:47:30,852 --> 00:47:31,555 What's the matter? 1206 00:47:31,683 --> 00:47:32,403 - It's broken? - Dunno. 1207 00:47:32,955 --> 00:47:34,027 Has it got fuel in it? 1208 00:47:34,161 --> 00:47:35,534 Yeah, it's got loads of fuel. 1209 00:47:38,832 --> 00:47:40,122 Despite the horns, 1210 00:47:40,255 --> 00:47:42,934 James wouldn't rush his pre-flight checks. 1211 00:47:43,621 --> 00:47:45,948 Master switch, ignition, pump, pump... 1212 00:47:46,729 --> 00:47:47,348 That's off... 1213 00:47:52,432 --> 00:47:53,437 Very, very fast. 1214 00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:54,726 At least it's light. 1215 00:47:56,752 --> 00:47:58,393 Jeremy, we're keeping everybody on the... 1216 00:47:58,510 --> 00:47:59,481 on the boat now. 1217 00:48:00,764 --> 00:48:02,187 The lady's shouting. 1218 00:48:04,598 --> 00:48:05,854 - Sorry. - Scusi. 1219 00:48:06,038 --> 00:48:07,294 Sorry. Sorry. 1220 00:48:12,602 --> 00:48:14,259 I can't get through there! 1221 00:48:14,527 --> 00:48:15,298 Back up! 1222 00:48:17,609 --> 00:48:19,149 Your country that makes supercars, 1223 00:48:19,233 --> 00:48:21,694 you can't honk when somebody actually goes and buys one. 1224 00:48:21,878 --> 00:48:23,117 That is the correct position, 1225 00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:24,691 because that's on, and the panel is on, 1226 00:48:24,775 --> 00:48:26,817 the ignition is down, I've got everything else off... 1227 00:48:27,102 --> 00:48:28,776 Do you wanna get... I don't know... 1228 00:48:34,935 --> 00:48:36,793 - That's the hottest thing in the world! - Bugger! 1229 00:48:38,819 --> 00:48:39,941 The fuel... 1230 00:48:44,674 --> 00:48:47,235 With the idiot's car now working, 1231 00:48:47,347 --> 00:48:49,574 we found the road on the other side of the lake 1232 00:48:49,707 --> 00:48:52,286 was a boring duel carriageway. 1233 00:48:53,625 --> 00:48:54,278 Still, 1234 00:48:54,513 --> 00:48:55,785 there was one good thing: 1235 00:48:55,902 --> 00:48:56,974 we were heading north 1236 00:48:57,074 --> 00:48:59,151 to where I'd wanted to go in the first place: 1237 00:48:59,368 --> 00:49:00,105 Switzerland. 1238 00:49:03,923 --> 00:49:05,062 Please let us find something good. 1239 00:49:06,066 --> 00:49:06,686 ..We did. 1240 00:49:13,594 --> 00:49:15,604 This is the San Bernardino Pass. 1241 00:49:23,211 --> 00:49:24,048 I think a boot-full 1242 00:49:24,125 --> 00:49:25,555 would be appropriate... 1243 00:49:25,974 --> 00:49:26,459 ...Yep. 1244 00:49:29,004 --> 00:49:30,176 The Swiss will look 1245 00:49:30,294 --> 00:49:31,466 on these three cars 1246 00:49:31,533 --> 00:49:33,324 as though the anti-Christ 1247 00:49:33,974 --> 00:49:35,509 has come to their little world. 1248 00:49:36,375 --> 00:49:37,793 But I didn't care. 1249 00:49:39,105 --> 00:49:40,582 The hills are alive 1250 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,855 to the sound of horsepower! 1251 00:49:45,668 --> 00:49:46,472 Meanwhile, 1252 00:49:46,566 --> 00:49:47,644 in the Aston... 1253 00:50:04,474 --> 00:50:06,138 The San Bernardino Pass 1254 00:50:06,824 --> 00:50:07,961 was something else. 1255 00:50:08,242 --> 00:50:09,297 The views, 1256 00:50:09,379 --> 00:50:11,394 the smoothness of the road surface, 1257 00:50:11,453 --> 00:50:12,262 the elegance 1258 00:50:12,344 --> 00:50:13,527 of the road itself. 1259 00:50:14,219 --> 00:50:14,957 But Richard 1260 00:50:15,121 --> 00:50:15,953 wasn't finished, 1261 00:50:16,047 --> 00:50:17,346 and insisted we kept 1262 00:50:17,451 --> 00:50:18,740 heading north. 1263 00:50:20,217 --> 00:50:22,303 I wonder where he's taking us. 1264 00:50:32,881 --> 00:50:33,924 Wow! Liechtenstein! 1265 00:50:34,165 --> 00:50:36,040 The only thing I know about Liechtenstein is 1266 00:50:36,099 --> 00:50:37,669 that they make more false teeth here 1267 00:50:37,751 --> 00:50:39,076 than anywhere else in the world... 1268 00:50:40,458 --> 00:50:42,387 which is probably why Hammond has brought us here. 1269 00:50:42,528 --> 00:50:45,141 What I do is hope it contains a brilliant road, 1270 00:50:45,199 --> 00:50:47,180 and I've a good feeling about this place. 1271 00:50:47,848 --> 00:50:48,633 And so, 1272 00:50:48,832 --> 00:50:49,817 outside the... 1273 00:50:50,707 --> 00:50:51,375 museum, 1274 00:50:51,633 --> 00:50:53,719 I pulled over to consult our map. 1275 00:50:54,621 --> 00:50:57,000 You see, we want bends. That stretch looks... 1276 00:50:57,082 --> 00:50:59,004 Liechtenstein was the last country in Europe 1277 00:50:59,074 --> 00:50:59,965 to give women the vote. 1278 00:51:00,023 --> 00:51:01,324 It was in 1984. 1279 00:51:01,394 --> 00:51:02,894 That is in Liechtenstein, isn't it? 1280 00:51:02,949 --> 00:51:04,792 If the entire population of Liechtenstein 1281 00:51:04,847 --> 00:51:06,324 went to the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, 1282 00:51:06,570 --> 00:51:08,949 there'd be 39,500 empty seats. 1283 00:51:09,148 --> 00:51:09,839 Yeah, but, 1284 00:51:09,921 --> 00:51:10,577 back to the road. 1285 00:51:10,636 --> 00:51:11,475 If we carry on up here, 1286 00:51:11,522 --> 00:51:12,284 this bit wiggles. 1287 00:51:12,354 --> 00:51:13,385 look at those turns. 1288 00:51:13,432 --> 00:51:15,389 You know this is a tax haven? 1289 00:51:16,139 --> 00:51:18,143 It's got more companies here than people. 1290 00:51:18,624 --> 00:51:20,182 That is a killer stretch of road. 1291 00:51:20,241 --> 00:51:20,979 That's a beauty... 1292 00:51:21,049 --> 00:51:22,723 Shall we try each other's cars for this bit? 1293 00:51:22,876 --> 00:51:23,227 What? 1294 00:51:23,344 --> 00:51:24,540 Why don't we try each other's cars...? 1295 00:51:24,598 --> 00:51:25,923 No, I really like this one, mate. 1296 00:51:26,169 --> 00:51:27,001 Do you want to go in this? 1297 00:51:27,352 --> 00:51:27,774 No. 1298 00:51:32,907 --> 00:51:33,235 Right, 1299 00:51:33,341 --> 00:51:34,712 so this, theoretically, 1300 00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:38,157 is the start of the greatest driving road in the world. 1301 00:51:42,515 --> 00:51:43,930 I fear I may have 1302 00:51:44,196 --> 00:51:45,747 made a slight mistake here. 1303 00:51:47,215 --> 00:51:47,790 He had. 1304 00:51:48,604 --> 00:51:50,053 There was a cycle race on 1305 00:51:50,121 --> 00:51:51,793 and his brilliant road 1306 00:51:51,870 --> 00:51:52,993 was closed. 1307 00:51:55,380 --> 00:51:57,035 Are we allowed to drive on it? 1308 00:51:57,138 --> 00:51:57,746 - No. - No. 1309 00:51:58,586 --> 00:51:59,915 It's shut!! 1310 00:52:00,078 --> 00:52:00,729 It is a bit, yeah... 1311 00:52:00,781 --> 00:52:03,024 You drag me all the way to Liechtenstein, 1312 00:52:03,153 --> 00:52:03,942 to go on a road... 1313 00:52:04,010 --> 00:52:05,133 that's shut! 1314 00:52:05,253 --> 00:52:05,716 A bit. 1315 00:52:06,193 --> 00:52:07,093 Completely... 1316 00:52:07,999 --> 00:52:08,951 Where do you wanna go now? 1317 00:52:09,105 --> 00:52:10,151 - Austria. - Oh, God. 1318 00:52:10,271 --> 00:52:11,034 You go to Austria, 1319 00:52:11,077 --> 00:52:12,191 we can't smell your pits from there. 1320 00:52:12,260 --> 00:52:13,460 I'm going back to Italy. 1321 00:52:17,439 --> 00:52:18,425 Reluctantly, 1322 00:52:18,506 --> 00:52:19,936 the others agreed to come with me. 1323 00:52:20,112 --> 00:52:22,080 So we headed back through Switzerland 1324 00:52:22,233 --> 00:52:25,048 stopping off for the night at the ski resort of Davos. 1325 00:52:25,984 --> 00:52:27,230 It had been a bad day. 1326 00:52:27,391 --> 00:52:29,105 We'd been through three countries 1327 00:52:29,236 --> 00:52:31,067 and only found one good bit of road. 1328 00:52:31,404 --> 00:52:34,481 So Richard and I decided to vandalise James's Aston. 1329 00:52:35,052 --> 00:52:36,291 Half of me wants him to see it, 1330 00:52:36,364 --> 00:52:37,947 half of me wants him to drive 1331 00:52:38,093 --> 00:52:39,470 all day with it on. 1332 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,111 He'll never notice. He's got Jones' eyes, 1333 00:52:41,198 --> 00:52:42,444 he doesn't notice anything. 1334 00:52:42,649 --> 00:52:44,172 He's not coming, is he? 1335 00:52:45,212 --> 00:52:46,853 K, that's Kevin. 1336 00:52:47,629 --> 00:52:49,309 That sounds like a racing driver's name. 1337 00:52:52,766 --> 00:52:54,084 I've just bought us a drink. 1338 00:53:08,953 --> 00:53:09,949 The next morning, 1339 00:53:10,081 --> 00:53:10,989 we headed south, 1340 00:53:11,209 --> 00:53:12,029 out of Davos. 1341 00:53:13,810 --> 00:53:15,363 And couldn't quite believe 1342 00:53:15,436 --> 00:53:16,769 what we'd stumbled on. 1343 00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:26,973 Mile after mile 1344 00:53:27,061 --> 00:53:28,511 of deserted perfection. 1345 00:53:39,434 --> 00:53:41,353 Even Jeremy had to concede 1346 00:53:41,836 --> 00:53:42,715 I was right 1347 00:53:42,817 --> 00:53:43,975 about Switzerland. 1348 00:53:45,894 --> 00:53:48,091 This is absolute heaven. 1349 00:53:52,333 --> 00:53:54,047 Aw, this is much more like it. 1350 00:53:59,803 --> 00:54:01,488 What was God thinking of 1351 00:54:01,605 --> 00:54:03,348 when he gave the Swiss this place? 1352 00:54:03,451 --> 00:54:04,946 Plainly it should be ours. 1353 00:54:08,696 --> 00:54:10,674 This road was a test of brakes, 1354 00:54:10,791 --> 00:54:11,861 steering, grip, 1355 00:54:12,051 --> 00:54:13,237 power and handling. 1356 00:54:13,457 --> 00:54:14,761 An ideal place, then, 1357 00:54:14,893 --> 00:54:16,153 to reflect on the cars 1358 00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:18,300 we'd brought on our motoring holiday. 1359 00:54:24,833 --> 00:54:26,957 Everything about this car now has come alive. 1360 00:54:27,259 --> 00:54:29,119 It's suddenly in its element. 1361 00:54:37,258 --> 00:54:38,957 This thing just tracks 1362 00:54:39,104 --> 00:54:40,129 so perfectly. 1363 00:54:41,528 --> 00:54:42,510 Meanwhile, 1364 00:54:42,590 --> 00:54:44,260 in the Aston... 1365 00:54:44,883 --> 00:54:47,036 I wonder how much of this I have to endure 1366 00:54:47,168 --> 00:54:49,277 before I can admit that this is a terrible car 1367 00:54:49,351 --> 00:54:51,065 and that I hate it and I want to go home? 1368 00:54:55,512 --> 00:54:57,020 It's actually a physically 1369 00:54:57,138 --> 00:54:59,804 pleasurable sensation that runs up your arm 1370 00:54:59,994 --> 00:55:01,605 when you turn the wheel. It's,... 1371 00:55:02,089 --> 00:55:03,524 ... it's uncanny. 1372 00:55:06,832 --> 00:55:09,161 Jeremy Clarkson today married a Lamborghini 1373 00:55:09,293 --> 00:55:11,051 and moved to Switzerland. 1374 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:17,013 And then it hit me... 1375 00:55:17,218 --> 00:55:18,375 I was in a Lamborghini, 1376 00:55:18,694 --> 00:55:19,720 in the Alps. 1377 00:55:20,789 --> 00:55:21,888 All I need 1378 00:55:22,005 --> 00:55:23,895 is a pair of sunglasses 1379 00:55:24,891 --> 00:55:26,614 and some Matt Monro. 1380 00:55:37,184 --> 00:55:38,063 Ooh, no, 1381 00:55:38,180 --> 00:55:39,338 hang on a minute. 1382 00:55:45,475 --> 00:55:46,120 We'd all 1383 00:55:46,231 --> 00:55:47,476 pretty much decided 1384 00:55:47,564 --> 00:55:49,102 that we'd found driving heaven... 1385 00:55:49,161 --> 00:55:50,801 well, two of us had. 1386 00:55:51,753 --> 00:55:52,310 But then, 1387 00:55:52,369 --> 00:55:54,815 after we popped over the border and back into Italy, 1388 00:55:54,903 --> 00:55:56,558 we found a cherry 1389 00:55:56,954 --> 00:55:58,330 for the top of our cake. 1390 00:56:05,414 --> 00:56:06,777 The Stelvio Pass. 1391 00:56:07,656 --> 00:56:08,974 15 miles 1392 00:56:09,047 --> 00:56:10,644 of asphalt spaghetti 1393 00:56:10,805 --> 00:56:12,161 draped on an Alp. 1394 00:56:14,491 --> 00:56:16,234 It was stunning. 1395 00:56:30,026 --> 00:56:30,700 Shall we do it? 1396 00:56:46,248 --> 00:56:47,420 Here we go. 1397 00:56:58,230 --> 00:56:59,416 The drops! 1398 00:56:59,943 --> 00:57:00,954 It's impossible. 1399 00:57:02,853 --> 00:57:05,328 If you went over the edge here you'd have time to phone the insurance! 1400 00:57:08,961 --> 00:57:10,323 There's no other way of saying it: 1401 00:57:10,411 --> 00:57:12,682 This is a magnificent piece of road building. 1402 00:57:22,454 --> 00:57:24,212 Not like PlayStation, this: 1403 00:57:24,285 --> 00:57:26,468 you can't just press the reset button when you get it wrong. 1404 00:57:26,951 --> 00:57:28,958 You just go through the Pearly Gates... 1405 00:57:29,172 --> 00:57:30,182 on fire! 1406 00:57:32,848 --> 00:57:33,716 I hate to admit this, 1407 00:57:33,774 --> 00:57:35,743 but this Aston is starting to make 1408 00:57:35,825 --> 00:57:37,524 a certain amount of good sense. 1409 00:57:38,551 --> 00:57:40,016 Even the brakes have stopped squeaking! 1410 00:57:40,648 --> 00:57:41,856 Climbing up now past 1411 00:57:41,938 --> 00:57:43,496 8,000 feet. 1412 00:57:44,129 --> 00:57:45,359 I think, at this altitude, 1413 00:57:46,180 --> 00:57:46,977 the Lambo 1414 00:57:47,082 --> 00:57:48,418 has all the advantage. 1415 00:57:48,643 --> 00:57:49,487 I'll solve that, though, 1416 00:57:49,593 --> 00:57:50,647 with some bravery. 1417 00:57:56,701 --> 00:57:57,732 This is hard work. 1418 00:57:57,791 --> 00:58:01,142 If I had no air conditioning, I'd look ridiculous now. 1419 00:58:07,700 --> 00:58:10,160 What an extraordinary road! 1420 00:58:12,211 --> 00:58:13,207 Thank you, Italy. 1421 00:58:13,653 --> 00:58:15,493 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1422 00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:20,804 We finished our run. 1423 00:58:21,296 --> 00:58:23,944 And, as the cars ticked themselves cool, 1424 00:58:24,530 --> 00:58:26,159 we knew their work was done. 1425 00:58:26,968 --> 00:58:28,093 Our quest 1426 00:58:28,362 --> 00:58:29,417 was at an end. 1427 00:58:31,371 --> 00:58:32,836 Davos to Stelvio: 1428 00:58:33,328 --> 00:58:35,016 the greatest driving road 1429 00:58:35,637 --> 00:58:36,621 in the world. 1430 00:59:15,655 --> 00:59:16,932 So, there you are. If... 1431 00:59:17,389 --> 00:59:19,170 if you're thinking of going on holiday next year, 1432 00:59:19,217 --> 00:59:20,846 forget the Center Parcs, just go there! 1433 00:59:20,905 --> 00:59:21,678 Yes! Now, 1434 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:22,557 the cars. 1435 00:59:22,651 --> 00:59:23,518 So... 1436 00:59:23,717 --> 00:59:24,385 James? 1437 00:59:25,146 --> 00:59:25,803 No! 1438 00:59:26,049 --> 00:59:27,959 Just no on every level. 1439 00:59:28,018 --> 00:59:28,498 Richard? 1440 00:59:28,627 --> 00:59:30,139 I thought the Porsche was fantastic. I loved it. 1441 00:59:30,256 --> 00:59:31,650 But the thing for me about that car, 1442 00:59:31,721 --> 00:59:33,627 the main problem is, I still don't see why 1443 00:59:34,001 --> 00:59:35,525 it's 15 grand more 1444 00:59:35,876 --> 00:59:37,904 for the RS version than the ordinary GT3. 1445 00:59:38,009 --> 00:59:39,392 I have to say the same on the Lambo: 1446 00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:41,326 I can't believe that I wouldn't have had as much fun 1447 00:59:41,419 --> 00:59:42,521 in a normal Gallardo. 1448 00:59:42,879 --> 00:59:43,700 the other thing is, well... 1449 00:59:44,110 --> 00:59:45,915 if you're going to do a special edition Lamborghini, 1450 00:59:45,973 --> 00:59:46,934 don't take stuff off, 1451 00:59:47,075 --> 00:59:47,790 put stuff on, 1452 00:59:47,860 --> 00:59:48,856 like space thrusters 1453 00:59:48,926 --> 00:59:50,872 and machine guns! That's what Lamborghinis 1454 00:59:51,012 --> 00:59:51,844 are about. 1455 00:59:51,961 --> 00:59:52,589 So, hang on, 1456 00:59:52,659 --> 00:59:53,831 we took three cars 1457 00:59:53,878 --> 00:59:54,792 on holiday 1458 00:59:55,179 --> 00:59:56,304 and they were all wrong. 1459 00:59:56,409 --> 00:59:58,062 Yes, we're back in business! 1460 00:59:58,167 --> 00:59:59,726 Yeah, Top Gear: ambitious, 1461 00:59:59,843 --> 01:00:01,191 - but rubbish! - That's us. 1462 01:00:01,301 --> 01:00:02,614 And there'll be more of that next week! 1463 01:00:02,696 --> 01:00:03,926 See you then, good night!