1 00:00:03,685 --> 00:00:07,120 Top Gear 10x02 English Transcript: Evarin & SimonP @Transcript UK Manager 2 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:10,711 Completed and Synced by: Z102@Finalgear 3 00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:12,427 Tonight, 4 00:00:12,616 --> 00:00:14,553 James drives a Rolls-Royce, 5 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,476 Richard drives a Bugatti Veyron, 6 00:00:18,025 --> 00:00:19,206 and I drive something 7 00:00:19,258 --> 00:00:20,972 that isn't either of those things 8 00:00:28,301 --> 00:00:29,578 Hello. Good evening. 9 00:00:30,478 --> 00:00:32,081 Good evening and thank you very much. 10 00:00:33,142 --> 00:00:34,908 Thank you so much. Thanks. Now... 11 00:00:35,799 --> 00:00:36,880 We start tonight 12 00:00:36,957 --> 00:00:37,805 with a letter: 13 00:00:38,697 --> 00:00:39,760 "Dear Top Gear, 14 00:00:39,997 --> 00:00:41,051 why, oh, why 15 00:00:41,103 --> 00:00:42,852 don't you feature more cars 16 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:43,692 aimed at 17 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:44,703 ordinary people 18 00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:45,526 like me? 19 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:46,966 Yours sincerely, 20 00:00:47,009 --> 00:00:48,375 Mr. R. Abramovich 21 00:00:48,435 --> 00:00:49,086 of Chelsea." 22 00:00:50,269 --> 00:00:51,640 Well, Mr Abramovich, 23 00:00:52,191 --> 00:00:53,843 our man of the people, James May, 24 00:00:53,913 --> 00:00:55,578 was only too happy to oblige. 25 00:00:57,614 --> 00:00:59,231 Perhaps this is what he's on about. 26 00:00:59,899 --> 00:01:01,364 No, not the gin palace. 27 00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:06,564 This. 28 00:01:09,914 --> 00:01:10,819 The new 29 00:01:10,972 --> 00:01:12,088 Rolls-Royce 30 00:01:12,487 --> 00:01:13,592 Phantom 31 00:01:14,285 --> 00:01:15,237 Drophead. 32 00:01:23,585 --> 00:01:24,784 As I'm sure you know, 33 00:01:24,831 --> 00:01:26,430 on Top Gear, if a car spends 34 00:01:26,582 --> 00:01:28,780 too long sitting on the deck of an aircraft carrier, 35 00:01:29,109 --> 00:01:31,401 it eventually gets launched off the ramp thing 36 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:32,506 down at the end. 37 00:01:33,024 --> 00:01:34,470 And this definitely isn't going to fly 38 00:01:34,799 --> 00:01:36,397 because it weighs 2.6 tonnes. 39 00:01:36,550 --> 00:01:37,197 So, 40 00:01:37,244 --> 00:01:38,419 let's be on our way. 41 00:01:40,382 --> 00:01:43,061 This really isn't the sort of car you want to drop into the ocean 42 00:01:44,518 --> 00:01:45,776 Largely because it costs 43 00:01:45,964 --> 00:01:47,574 307,000 pounds. 44 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,587 That's 50,000 more 45 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:54,067 than the Rolls-Royce Phantom Saloon 46 00:01:54,126 --> 00:01:55,713 which we tested a few years ago, 47 00:01:55,936 --> 00:01:58,581 and which, I have to say, we liked rather a lot. 48 00:02:04,059 --> 00:02:05,693 So, what are you paying the extra for, 49 00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:07,266 aside from the drop-top? 50 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,500 Well, you certainly get a lot more metal-working 51 00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:12,179 because, to keep the Drophead's body rigid, 52 00:02:12,660 --> 00:02:15,359 Rolls gave it to their adoptive parents at BMW 53 00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:16,868 who added another 54 00:02:16,938 --> 00:02:18,678 460 feet 55 00:02:18,748 --> 00:02:19,877 of welding. 56 00:02:21,428 --> 00:02:23,285 And they did that at their Centre 57 00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:25,225 For Aluminium Competence. 58 00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:27,776 I'm not making that up, that is what it's called. 59 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,433 They're Germans. 60 00:02:33,146 --> 00:02:35,825 Otherwise, it has the same 6.75 litre engine 61 00:02:35,861 --> 00:02:36,636 as the Phantom, 62 00:02:36,836 --> 00:02:37,823 the same top speed 63 00:02:38,059 --> 00:02:39,539 and the same 0-60 time. 64 00:02:45,072 --> 00:02:45,565 So, 65 00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:47,175 the mechanicals are the same. 66 00:02:47,574 --> 00:02:48,479 But the image, 67 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:50,101 very different. 68 00:02:51,946 --> 00:02:53,016 The saloon 69 00:02:53,251 --> 00:02:55,096 is the sort of car that you could hide in. 70 00:02:55,155 --> 00:02:56,917 You can sit in the back behind the tinted glass 71 00:02:56,964 --> 00:02:58,398 and just pretend to be selling 72 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,125 Russian gas or whatever 73 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,677 on your laptop. 74 00:03:02,876 --> 00:03:03,933 But with the Drophead, 75 00:03:04,145 --> 00:03:05,708 it will be you who's doing the driving. 76 00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:08,827 You don't really want to ride in the back of this car, 77 00:03:08,885 --> 00:03:09,861 unless, perhaps, 78 00:03:10,014 --> 00:03:12,024 you're the Queen of England or Elton John. 79 00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:14,163 Which is the same thing, really. 80 00:03:20,706 --> 00:03:21,118 So, 81 00:03:21,318 --> 00:03:22,434 you'll be sitting up front, 82 00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:24,021 for all the world to see, 83 00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:25,925 in a car that's hardly discreet, 84 00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,205 and this is why I'm driving it around town 85 00:03:28,263 --> 00:03:29,250 at night: 86 00:03:29,344 --> 00:03:30,578 because the producer thought 87 00:03:30,649 --> 00:03:32,141 I'd be too embarrassed 88 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,223 in daylight. 89 00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:38,079 But why would I be embarrassed? 90 00:03:38,337 --> 00:03:39,830 If this was truly vulgar, 91 00:03:40,018 --> 00:03:40,700 maybe, 92 00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:41,863 but it isn't. 93 00:03:42,227 --> 00:03:43,403 It's exquisite. 94 00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:46,435 This lot 95 00:03:46,576 --> 00:03:48,702 don't do carbon fibre 96 00:03:48,867 --> 00:03:50,289 but they will let you have this 97 00:03:50,559 --> 00:03:52,146 teak decking at the back, 98 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,226 like you might find on a motor launch. 99 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,447 And they will also let you have the bonnet 100 00:03:56,894 --> 00:03:58,150 finished in 101 00:03:58,197 --> 00:03:59,631 brushed stainless steel. 102 00:04:00,477 --> 00:04:01,112 And 103 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,674 other car manufacturers are currently spending 104 00:04:03,791 --> 00:04:05,872 millions and millions of pounds on research 105 00:04:05,942 --> 00:04:07,376 into hydrogen fuel cells 106 00:04:07,541 --> 00:04:08,621 and hybrid drive 107 00:04:08,762 --> 00:04:09,738 but Rolls-Royce 108 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,172 spends the same money 109 00:04:12,147 --> 00:04:14,181 in its ashtray design department. 110 00:04:14,592 --> 00:04:15,415 Look at that! 111 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:27,985 Furthermore, 112 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,666 you won't be overwhelmed by all 113 00:04:29,805 --> 00:04:31,510 the flashing lights and gizmos and gadgets 114 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,837 that you'd find in a BMW 7 Series 115 00:04:33,989 --> 00:04:35,153 or a Maybach. 116 00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:37,703 I don't have 117 00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,440 ten different settings 118 00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:41,309 for the ride firmness, I don't have 119 00:04:41,826 --> 00:04:44,412 five different speeds at which the interior lights 120 00:04:44,682 --> 00:04:46,609 switch off when I close the door. 121 00:04:46,868 --> 00:04:48,725 It's more like a butler, this car. 122 00:04:48,937 --> 00:04:49,677 It just sort of 123 00:04:49,817 --> 00:04:51,710 takes care of everything for you 124 00:04:51,968 --> 00:04:53,296 and you don't even notice. 125 00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:04,471 Like the Phantom Saloon, 126 00:05:04,694 --> 00:05:06,610 the Drophead doesn't follow the herd. 127 00:05:07,092 --> 00:05:08,726 It has its own ideas about 128 00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:10,359 what a luxury car should be. 129 00:05:10,993 --> 00:05:11,816 You can't order 130 00:05:11,957 --> 00:05:12,827 a sports pack 131 00:05:12,874 --> 00:05:14,237 or a flappy-paddle gearbox 132 00:05:14,496 --> 00:05:14,966 but 133 00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:16,235 you CAN choose from 134 00:05:16,815 --> 00:05:18,872 44,000 shades of paint. 135 00:05:23,397 --> 00:05:24,737 You know that teak decking? 136 00:05:25,524 --> 00:05:26,946 When you take the car for a service 137 00:05:27,121 --> 00:05:28,144 a man in an apron 138 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,319 oils it for you, 139 00:05:29,742 --> 00:05:31,670 like you might your favourite cricket bat. 140 00:05:35,948 --> 00:05:36,901 And when it rains, 141 00:05:37,089 --> 00:05:39,745 yes, you call on an old-fashioned soft-top, 142 00:05:39,886 --> 00:05:41,285 instead of some trendy, 143 00:05:41,438 --> 00:05:43,036 folding, metal origami. 144 00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:44,987 But that soft-top 145 00:05:45,058 --> 00:05:46,703 is lined with cashmere. 146 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,282 And yet, 147 00:05:51,412 --> 00:05:53,069 for all its teak and stainless 148 00:05:53,116 --> 00:05:54,268 steel and cashmere, 149 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,407 the Drophead just doesn't come across as 150 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,333 brash, or in-your-face. 151 00:05:58,827 --> 00:06:00,484 I like to think you could leave it 152 00:06:00,602 --> 00:06:02,153 in the rougher parts of town 153 00:06:02,341 --> 00:06:03,763 and no-one would hurt it. 154 00:06:04,891 --> 00:06:05,737 Yo! 155 00:06:06,113 --> 00:06:07,171 I love you! 156 00:06:07,524 --> 00:06:08,922 Let's not try it out, though, eh? 157 00:06:16,065 --> 00:06:17,535 This is, without doubt, 158 00:06:17,629 --> 00:06:19,121 a proper Rolls-Royce. 159 00:06:19,415 --> 00:06:20,543 Wonderful to drive, 160 00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:21,930 beautifully made. 161 00:06:22,647 --> 00:06:23,952 But there's something else. 162 00:06:24,563 --> 00:06:26,232 Here's an amazing thing. 163 00:06:26,301 --> 00:06:27,817 Rolls-Royce is the most 164 00:06:27,876 --> 00:06:30,156 established marque in the history of motoring. 165 00:06:30,344 --> 00:06:31,108 It has 166 00:06:31,202 --> 00:06:32,965 the most pompous radiator grille. 167 00:06:33,141 --> 00:06:34,916 It has the most ridiculous mascot. 168 00:06:35,257 --> 00:06:36,174 And yet, 169 00:06:36,326 --> 00:06:37,524 this car's very, 170 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,204 very cool. 171 00:06:39,792 --> 00:06:42,295 I think this might be the coolest car in the world. 172 00:06:51,297 --> 00:06:53,459 You said it wasn't brash? 173 00:06:53,506 --> 00:06:54,987 Yeah, it's not like clock too tall... 174 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,820 I'd better say I'm with you, it's an exquisite car. 175 00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:02,560 Trouble is, though. 176 00:07:02,806 --> 00:07:04,229 When the roof comes back, 177 00:07:04,252 --> 00:07:05,768 You know, a cloche in a stupid restaurant, 178 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:06,920 when they go, "Ta-daaa!" 179 00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:09,093 Oh yeah, "any more convertible at all?" 180 00:07:09,223 --> 00:07:10,433 Yes, I know, and you sit... 181 00:07:10,516 --> 00:07:11,973 You sit in the damn thing 182 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,441 and it's like sitting in a convertible Range Rover, you sit high up. 183 00:07:14,629 --> 00:07:16,486 You feel so conspicuous! 184 00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:18,260 I didn't feel conspicuous in it. 185 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,258 The thing is, I believe, 186 00:07:20,328 --> 00:07:21,668 deep in my heart, that 187 00:07:21,797 --> 00:07:23,396 I looked good in it, and it suits me, 188 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,018 'Cos it's stylish and it's 189 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:26,163 contemporary. 190 00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:31,463 Every time I see you those are the words that pop into my head: 191 00:07:31,546 --> 00:07:33,332 Stylish and contemporary! 192 00:07:33,379 --> 00:07:35,189 After other words, like, for instance 193 00:07:35,460 --> 00:07:36,223 ... beige! 194 00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:38,244 Standard stairlift 195 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:39,619 The War, wanna hear any more? 196 00:07:40,231 --> 00:07:41,206 Homosexual! 197 00:07:42,993 --> 00:07:43,980 I object to the beige! 198 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,811 Now, the news. 199 00:07:47,892 --> 00:07:50,188 Imagine if you will that you bought a Bugatti Veyron,... 200 00:07:50,599 --> 00:07:51,777 It's a big investment... 201 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:54,031 You'd be very excited about the day it was gonna be arrived, 202 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,415 So you'd imagine such a thing would be delivered 203 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,786 You know, on like a golden carriage, 204 00:07:58,866 --> 00:08:01,076 on a bed of swan's feathers, it's a special moment. 205 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,148 I'd want mine... 206 00:08:02,326 --> 00:08:04,213 born aloft by sixteen... 207 00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,295 greased, naked eunuchs... 208 00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:08,170 That's what I'd want. 209 00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:09,787 Whatever, the point is 210 00:08:09,892 --> 00:08:11,649 that's the sort of thing you'd expect, 211 00:08:11,704 --> 00:08:13,080 it's a big moment... 212 00:08:13,532 --> 00:08:15,547 In Russia they do things a little bit differently... 213 00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:16,544 Here is one, it's 214 00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:17,809 being transported... 215 00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:19,762 That's a Bugatti! 216 00:08:20,606 --> 00:08:22,996 I brrought yourr Bugatti, sirr, it is herre... 217 00:08:23,207 --> 00:08:24,789 Why is it on a flatbed pickup? 218 00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:26,242 Your?????? 219 00:08:26,324 --> 00:08:27,813 That's a disappointment in your life. 220 00:08:28,047 --> 00:08:28,956 Now, anyone 221 00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:30,351 parked in London recently? 222 00:08:30,913 --> 00:08:31,253 No. 223 00:08:31,347 --> 00:08:33,925 You see, the problem is no more parking meters are pay'n'display. 224 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,796 What you do is you pull up and there's a sign, we've got a picture of one here... 225 00:08:37,073 --> 00:08:38,748 Ok? Where you pay by phone 226 00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:40,143 for your parking space. 227 00:08:40,295 --> 00:08:41,783 Would anybody like me to try that? 228 00:08:43,248 --> 00:08:44,713 Ok. I have brought with me 229 00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:46,412 all you need: got a phone, 230 00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:47,678 and a credit card 231 00:08:47,739 --> 00:08:48,876 These are what you need, ok? 232 00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:51,384 I've got a microphone so you can hear what I'm doing. 233 00:08:51,548 --> 00:08:53,809 - Just give me the number. 0-8... - 7-0... 234 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,614 - 7-0, yep... - 4-2-8 235 00:08:56,095 --> 00:08:56,985 4-2-8... 236 00:08:57,173 --> 00:08:58,263 4-00-9. 237 00:08:58,359 --> 00:08:59,390 4-00-9. 238 00:08:59,461 --> 00:09:00,973 This puts me through to... 239 00:09:01,219 --> 00:09:02,531 a laptop in India... 240 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,754 Here you go. Got the microphone ready, I'll put the speaker on. 241 00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,174 Brooke to Westminster... 242 00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:09,617 Option Service 243 00:09:09,909 --> 00:09:12,499 Please enter the FOUR-digit location number 244 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,171 or entry ???? to select your last location. 245 00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:17,264 Right. So it's 8... that's the location. 246 00:09:17,311 --> 00:09:18,682 8-7-44 247 00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:20,733 Your car's rotting at this point... 248 00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:21,776 Here we go, there we are... 249 00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:23,719 Insert your PIN number or the last 250 00:09:23,811 --> 00:09:26,025 four digits of the credit or debit card... 251 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,315 which you registered. 252 00:09:27,455 --> 00:09:28,897 My credit card! Last four... 253 00:09:30,052 --> 00:09:31,704 I can't read them, I need gla... 254 00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,091 You can't if you ain't got any glasses... 255 00:09:35,138 --> 00:09:37,235 - Give it to me, I'll read your number out loud... - Someone will have to read it for you... 256 00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:39,027 - All of them... - No, you won't do that... 257 00:09:40,773 --> 00:09:42,695 Someone's got some reading glasses? 258 00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:44,663 That's... Oh yes! 259 00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:50,216 They're not reading glasses! 260 00:09:50,368 --> 00:09:51,845 No, there we go... 7... 261 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,484 This is to park your car! 262 00:09:58,550 --> 00:09:59,921 Hey, I haven't finished yet! 263 00:10:00,413 --> 00:10:04,690 Please, press the key on which the first character of your numberplate resides... 264 00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:05,769 Ei? 265 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:08,307 Somebody give me a registration number of one of these cars... 266 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,405 That Ferrari, was it V12...? 267 00:10:10,452 --> 00:10:11,073 V... 268 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:12,280 V! 269 00:10:13,827 --> 00:10:15,522 For T press 1, 270 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,092 For U press 2... 271 00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,537 For V... 272 00:10:20,798 --> 00:10:21,701 Nooo!! 273 00:10:23,711 --> 00:10:25,797 You gotta go through the whole numberplate, 274 00:10:25,844 --> 00:10:27,895 pressing hundreds of thousands of numbers! 275 00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:30,743 I promise faithfully, the other day I was in London, 276 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,730 I used an entire charge... 277 00:10:32,824 --> 00:10:33,632 Numberplate retype... 278 00:10:33,738 --> 00:10:34,500 Shut up! 279 00:10:35,297 --> 00:10:36,974 I used an entire charge 280 00:10:37,038 --> 00:10:37,922 of battery 281 00:10:38,422 --> 00:10:41,422 Just to get halfway through the number and the battery died. 282 00:10:41,469 --> 00:10:43,590 Had to go into a shop, buy a car charger, 283 00:10:43,859 --> 00:10:45,992 come back, then finally you get through a man that goes: 284 00:10:46,027 --> 00:10:47,574 "It's all right, the system doesn't work." 285 00:10:48,472 --> 00:10:50,851 He actually admitted it doesn't work, no one can do it. 286 00:10:51,123 --> 00:10:53,752 We've got to do something about Ken Livingstone. 287 00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:55,931 It's his fault. 288 00:10:56,092 --> 00:10:57,594 - ... obviously - I have this plan... 289 00:10:57,959 --> 00:10:59,108 Bring him down here, all right? 290 00:10:59,247 --> 00:11:00,325 And set fire to him. 291 00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:01,302 Well, that's brilliant! 292 00:11:01,892 --> 00:11:03,491 That would do it! That would get rid of him... 293 00:11:07,236 --> 00:11:08,172 Well, look. 294 00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:11,048 Look! 295 00:11:12,765 --> 00:11:14,397 This is the problem we've got. 296 00:11:15,352 --> 00:11:17,294 This... You know we accidentally lit 297 00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:18,593 some pipes last week. 298 00:11:18,668 --> 00:11:19,398 A bit... 299 00:11:19,906 --> 00:11:20,904 A hysterical woman, 300 00:11:20,958 --> 00:11:22,686 who runs some hysterical organization, 301 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,918 thin lips, the sort that take their own lunch to work, 302 00:11:25,015 --> 00:11:26,120 You know the sort? 303 00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:29,221 She got in touch and she pointed out, 304 00:11:29,361 --> 00:11:32,454 after having "DEMANDED an apology from the BBC"... 305 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,034 She pointed out that, 306 00:11:34,109 --> 00:11:35,808 you can't smoke anything 307 00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:36,682 now 308 00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:38,627 in the studio. Anything. 309 00:11:38,668 --> 00:11:39,778 doesn't matter if it's herbal or tobacco, 310 00:11:39,834 --> 00:11:40,557 you're not allowed to. 311 00:11:40,754 --> 00:11:41,750 which means it is now 312 00:11:41,815 --> 00:11:43,130 illegal to inhale 313 00:11:43,168 --> 00:11:44,135 the Mayor of London 314 00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:45,243 if he's on fire. 315 00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:48,590 What if we turf him? 316 00:11:49,649 --> 00:11:50,607 Turf him? 317 00:11:50,983 --> 00:11:53,358 Is that some euphemism from those "special clubs" you go? 318 00:11:55,837 --> 00:11:57,415 You see a nice bloke in a leather hat, 319 00:11:57,462 --> 00:11:58,739 "I'd love to turf him." 320 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:01,419 - It's not? - No! 321 00:12:01,490 --> 00:12:02,138 All right. 322 00:12:02,203 --> 00:12:03,050 No, it isn't 323 00:12:03,116 --> 00:12:04,496 I'm thinking of that artist 324 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,684 I can't remember his name, who turfs buildings and statues... 325 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:07,811 Where do you live?! 326 00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:09,688 He does it in London, 327 00:12:09,735 --> 00:12:10,778 he did it in the South Bank, 328 00:12:10,825 --> 00:12:13,035 we turf Ken Livingstone, stick him on a plynth, job done. 329 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,791 Oh, now, word of warning, 330 00:12:14,856 --> 00:12:15,701 You know you... 331 00:12:15,748 --> 00:12:18,406 ... can now buy radar-guided cruise-control with your car. 332 00:12:18,445 --> 00:12:20,286 First to test it was Mercedes, and I liked it very much. 333 00:12:20,342 --> 00:12:21,403 The idea is you... 334 00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:22,577 You set the cruise control 335 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,394 Go along with the speed. If a car pulls out along in front of you 336 00:12:25,534 --> 00:12:26,926 Your car sees it, 337 00:12:27,395 --> 00:12:28,832 slows you down to speed it's going, 338 00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:29,930 when it pulls over, 339 00:12:30,099 --> 00:12:32,212 you accelerate back up to the speed you selected, ok? 340 00:12:32,259 --> 00:12:33,301 I thought it was great, 341 00:12:33,348 --> 00:12:34,522 but I tried a Volvo this week. 342 00:12:34,702 --> 00:12:36,035 What it does when it slows down 343 00:12:36,073 --> 00:12:37,979 when someone... is apply the brakes 344 00:12:38,045 --> 00:12:39,218 and the brake lights come on. 345 00:12:39,481 --> 00:12:42,054 Actually, putting the brakes to slow you down is very clever. 346 00:12:42,214 --> 00:12:44,148 Nononono, you should never apply the brakes 347 00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:44,864 on a motorway. 348 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,084 - Well, it's... - It's the brake lights what cause all the tailbacks, 349 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,681 People who can't maintain 350 00:12:49,746 --> 00:12:51,493 a constant speed. You know what I mean? 351 00:12:51,577 --> 00:12:52,986 Those people that drive... 352 00:12:54,427 --> 00:12:56,502 I'm braking, I've accelerated too close, 353 00:12:56,615 --> 00:12:59,394 I'd had police marksmen shoot them in the head for doing that... 354 00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:01,329 I have never braked 355 00:13:01,423 --> 00:13:02,108 on a motorway. 356 00:13:02,155 --> 00:13:03,096 What if something's in the way? 357 00:13:03,135 --> 00:13:05,028 What if somebody swerves and you're going... you... 358 00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:06,170 You see them coming. 359 00:13:06,373 --> 00:13:07,500 If it's an old Rover, 360 00:13:07,522 --> 00:13:10,598 you know it's being driven by a man with ears the size of a satellite dish, 361 00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:12,101 and you don't ever need to brake, you just... 362 00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:13,631 prepare yourself. 363 00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:17,190 Do you know the game, if you ever played the "I Have Never..." game... 364 00:13:17,312 --> 00:13:18,889 You think of things, you know, round the table, 365 00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:20,345 I've never... never braked 366 00:13:20,579 --> 00:13:22,429 never bought anything in Marks&Spencer, 367 00:13:22,824 --> 00:13:23,645 And then if you're losing 368 00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:25,636 you go for the "I've never used a tampon." 369 00:13:27,195 --> 00:13:28,209 That's a winner... 370 00:13:28,312 --> 00:13:29,476 I remember that, too. 371 00:13:29,711 --> 00:13:30,406 I have. 372 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:35,210 You've used a tampon... 373 00:13:35,257 --> 00:13:36,017 - Yeah. - Are you sure? 374 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:36,694 You know, 375 00:13:37,257 --> 00:13:37,980 spillage. 376 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,726 Oh, mate, what? 377 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,921 I had a bit of an accident on the cooker once... 378 00:13:43,052 --> 00:13:44,292 Sorry, this is getting worse! 379 00:13:45,052 --> 00:13:46,282 No, hear me out... 380 00:13:46,846 --> 00:13:48,029 When you're boiling something, 381 00:13:48,085 --> 00:13:49,259 something with milk in it, and it,... 382 00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:50,273 you know, it boiled over, 383 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,317 and it goes in that bit of the back 384 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,369 where you can't get your finger in, 385 00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:53,514 and if you don't clean it up... 386 00:13:54,857 --> 00:13:56,040 If you don't clean that out... 387 00:13:56,087 --> 00:13:57,862 it goes rancid and it smells forever. 388 00:13:57,946 --> 00:14:00,744 You used tampons to clean a cooker?! 389 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,338 'Cos I couldn't get my finger in it! 390 00:14:03,497 --> 00:14:05,300 He doesn't have OCD! 391 00:14:05,488 --> 00:14:06,173 Listen, no... 392 00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:07,450 You do have OCD! 393 00:14:07,478 --> 00:14:08,136 I don't! 394 00:14:08,183 --> 00:14:09,681 You know the bezel on the watch? 395 00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:11,230 You know the little arrow thing here? 396 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:12,056 If I have it 397 00:14:12,094 --> 00:14:12,873 here, 398 00:14:13,042 --> 00:14:14,028 it's fine. 399 00:14:14,113 --> 00:14:15,634 But if I put it round... Ready? 400 00:14:15,793 --> 00:14:16,798 There... 401 00:14:16,845 --> 00:14:17,962 It's like kryptonite. 402 00:14:22,009 --> 00:14:23,145 Go back in the wrong position. 403 00:14:23,202 --> 00:14:25,464 You can't... you can't bear it if I haven't got that arrow... 404 00:14:27,695 --> 00:14:28,483 Look! 405 00:14:32,382 --> 00:14:34,129 Do I say the other interesting thing about tampons? 406 00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:38,288 Seriously, if you've got... Has anybody got like an old... 407 00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:39,332 twin-cylinder motorcycle? 408 00:14:39,436 --> 00:14:40,637 Parallel twin. You'll know this. 409 00:14:40,675 --> 00:14:41,905 - You'll always get a little bit of oil... - I WILL NOT! 410 00:14:41,961 --> 00:14:42,600 You will... 411 00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:44,130 You'll get a little bit of oil that 412 00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:45,437 always leaks out through the seal, 413 00:14:45,475 --> 00:14:46,808 when you close it, and you can't 414 00:14:46,846 --> 00:14:48,010 get at it to mop it up. 415 00:14:48,048 --> 00:14:50,226 Allright, you put a lilac on the end of a screwdriver Phillips, 416 00:14:50,339 --> 00:14:53,102 - Shake it... gone. - You carry them with you on a bandolier round... 417 00:14:53,656 --> 00:14:56,181 like a Swcharzenegger arrangement, full of tampons 418 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,083 just in case. 419 00:14:57,186 --> 00:14:59,806 It's a new application for an existing technology. 420 00:14:59,853 --> 00:15:01,656 - I'm adapting to... - James, go away... 421 00:15:01,761 --> 00:15:03,122 Watch out... I can't stand that... 422 00:15:03,199 --> 00:15:04,861 - Somebody... - He can't bear it... 423 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,199 He honestly cannot bear it if I do that. 424 00:15:08,373 --> 00:15:10,195 Anyway, pray silence now, 425 00:15:10,251 --> 00:15:11,631 please, for the most 426 00:15:11,782 --> 00:15:13,741 breathtaking car we've ever had 427 00:15:14,032 --> 00:15:14,886 here in our studio. 428 00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:16,783 Here is the new Lamborghini Reventón. 429 00:15:16,825 --> 00:15:18,187 Rebentón. 430 00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:19,097 No, it's Reventón. 431 00:15:19,154 --> 00:15:20,556 No, no, Rebentón 432 00:15:20,592 --> 00:15:21,382 No, it's Reventón, I can prove it: 433 00:15:21,427 --> 00:15:22,434 It's got 434 00:15:22,540 --> 00:15:24,065 It's got a 'V': Reventón. 435 00:15:24,245 --> 00:15:25,643 No, I know it's spelt with a V, 436 00:15:25,665 --> 00:15:26,559 but it's pronounced 437 00:15:26,612 --> 00:15:27,393 with a B. 438 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:27,934 Why? 439 00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:29,286 Don't know, they told us. 440 00:15:29,459 --> 00:15:30,067 It's B: 441 00:15:30,102 --> 00:15:30,980 ReBentón. 442 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,910 Anyway, it has a 6.5 litre V12... 443 00:15:33,963 --> 00:15:34,766 B12. 444 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,847 Yeah, whatever... 445 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:37,576 It can do... 446 00:15:37,651 --> 00:15:38,364 Whateber... 447 00:15:38,577 --> 00:15:39,769 Please, stop... 448 00:15:40,126 --> 00:15:41,581 Stop, that's very annoying. 449 00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:42,992 It can do 212... 450 00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:44,382 - Bery annoying... - Leave it!! 451 00:15:45,451 --> 00:15:47,105 It is an awe-inspiring car. 452 00:15:47,143 --> 00:15:49,753 It is, and honestly, I'm with you. It's styled to look 453 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,397 like an F-22 Raptor, 454 00:15:51,443 --> 00:15:52,889 you know, the new stealth fighter. 455 00:15:53,115 --> 00:15:53,894 And it really does, it's... 456 00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:55,688 This is what Lamborghini should be doing: 457 00:15:55,727 --> 00:15:57,379 Making cars where you just go... 458 00:15:59,239 --> 00:16:00,581 Just fantastic! 459 00:16:00,619 --> 00:16:02,178 And it's not just on the outside, 460 00:16:02,236 --> 00:16:03,644 it's clever inside, too. 461 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:04,931 We've got some pictures here... 462 00:16:04,996 --> 00:16:06,039 The dashboard is a 463 00:16:06,117 --> 00:16:08,856 thin liquid film transistor like you get on aircraft. 464 00:16:09,053 --> 00:16:10,302 That's on car setting. 465 00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:12,528 If we switch it now to aircraft setting... 466 00:16:12,575 --> 00:16:13,467 Look at that! 467 00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:15,765 I want that in my life... 468 00:16:15,868 --> 00:16:17,558 It's just covered in things you want! 469 00:16:17,615 --> 00:16:18,882 Round here, the rear lights, 470 00:16:18,929 --> 00:16:20,647 LEDs in little arrow shapes. 471 00:16:20,835 --> 00:16:22,507 These enormous fans down here, 472 00:16:22,535 --> 00:16:23,596 behind these grilles. 473 00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:25,516 And round here, the wheels. 474 00:16:25,647 --> 00:16:27,441 They've got carbon fibre fins on them 475 00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:29,957 that act as a giant fan to suck in cold air 476 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,408 to cool the brakes. And just 477 00:16:31,464 --> 00:16:33,355 Just a fuel-filler cap, look at that! 478 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,313 Couple of problems: 479 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,566 One, they're only making 20, only one is coming to Britain. 480 00:16:36,623 --> 00:16:37,759 The other thing is: 481 00:16:37,834 --> 00:16:40,210 800,000 pounds. 482 00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:41,712 That is quite a lot. 483 00:16:42,426 --> 00:16:44,325 But with this you would get a lot of badge. 484 00:16:45,019 --> 00:16:45,864 Badge? 485 00:16:48,897 --> 00:16:50,184 Think we got away with that... 486 00:16:50,231 --> 00:16:52,268 So, let's move on to Ferrari. 487 00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:53,970 Now, in the olden days, 488 00:16:54,065 --> 00:16:56,733 they used to build their racing cars with a lot of passion. 489 00:16:56,993 --> 00:16:58,461 and enthusiasm, and then, 490 00:16:58,706 --> 00:16:59,741 on lap three, 491 00:16:59,782 --> 00:17:01,469 they would explode as often as not in a... 492 00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:03,725 passionate and enthusiastic fireball. 493 00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:05,341 But then, a few years ago, 494 00:17:05,396 --> 00:17:07,570 they started building their racing cars with science 495 00:17:07,638 --> 00:17:08,502 and Maths. 496 00:17:08,544 --> 00:17:10,045 And since then, as we know, they've been 497 00:17:10,414 --> 00:17:11,312 top of the tree. 498 00:17:11,717 --> 00:17:13,630 So now, Ferrari is putting 499 00:17:13,856 --> 00:17:15,152 science and Maths 500 00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:17,172 into its road cars as well... 501 00:17:25,215 --> 00:17:26,902 This is the 599. 502 00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:31,287 It has a six-litre V12 503 00:17:31,329 --> 00:17:32,878 with variable valve timing 504 00:17:32,913 --> 00:17:34,124 on each of its four cams 505 00:17:34,159 --> 00:17:37,285 and magneto-rheological shock absorbers. 506 00:17:38,019 --> 00:17:39,765 It has lights on the steering wheel 507 00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:41,356 telling you when to change gear 508 00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:43,859 and then there's the gearbox itself. 509 00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:46,189 When I pull this paddle here, 510 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,136 the clutch disengages, 511 00:17:48,198 --> 00:17:49,398 the cogs are swapped 512 00:17:49,439 --> 00:17:51,145 and the clutch re-engages, 513 00:17:51,494 --> 00:17:53,702 all in 100 milliseconds. 514 00:17:54,161 --> 00:17:54,929 Ready... 515 00:17:56,001 --> 00:17:57,523 Yeah, 100 milliseconds. 516 00:18:03,318 --> 00:18:04,998 See that diffuser at the back? 517 00:18:05,121 --> 00:18:06,143 That's generating 518 00:18:06,239 --> 00:18:08,589 165 kgs of downforce, 519 00:18:08,709 --> 00:18:09,740 That is... 520 00:18:09,811 --> 00:18:11,686 That's about that much... 521 00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:18,970 You can't even start this car in the normal way. 522 00:18:19,427 --> 00:18:21,085 To get it off the line, 523 00:18:21,331 --> 00:18:23,476 you pull that paddle to put it in... No! 524 00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:25,948 No. Wait. You turn... 525 00:18:26,593 --> 00:18:29,077 the traction control off, yeah, that's that done, 526 00:18:29,206 --> 00:18:30,988 then you pull this paddle, 527 00:18:31,053 --> 00:18:32,108 to put it in first. 528 00:18:32,248 --> 00:18:34,522 Then you press the launch control button, 529 00:18:34,604 --> 00:18:35,776 Now the L's flashing, 530 00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:37,779 and then you put your left foot on the brake, 531 00:18:38,506 --> 00:18:39,990 build up the revs... 532 00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:43,435 Then you take your foot off the brake... 533 00:18:52,655 --> 00:18:54,600 That was hugely impressive. 534 00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:57,338 But I'll let you into a little secret. 535 00:18:57,959 --> 00:18:59,213 Launch control 536 00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:01,076 is primarily designed 537 00:19:01,165 --> 00:19:04,235 for fat, useless drivers to impress their friends 538 00:19:04,387 --> 00:19:06,497 with all the tyre smoke and so on. 539 00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:09,801 There's another, quicker way 540 00:19:10,294 --> 00:19:11,946 of getting this car off the line. 541 00:19:12,071 --> 00:19:14,625 Ferrari won't thank me for this, but what you do is: 542 00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:16,149 put it in Race... 543 00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:19,981 OK? Then you hold this paddle down for two seconds. 544 00:19:20,719 --> 00:19:21,195 There it is... 545 00:19:21,242 --> 00:19:23,117 It says "Transmission Failure", but don't worry. 546 00:19:23,257 --> 00:19:24,183 Left foot on the brake, 547 00:19:24,242 --> 00:19:25,660 don't turn the launch control on, 548 00:19:25,941 --> 00:19:27,218 build up the revs. 549 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:35,760 That's phenomenal. 550 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,787 The onboard computer's just got me 551 00:19:37,846 --> 00:19:39,135 from 0 to 60 552 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,643 in 3.5 seconds. 553 00:19:42,308 --> 00:19:43,468 3.5! 554 00:19:43,585 --> 00:19:46,374 in a car that weighs nearly two tons! 555 00:19:48,284 --> 00:19:49,597 More amazing still, 556 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,730 in the time it takes a two-litre Mondeo 557 00:19:51,788 --> 00:19:53,171 to get from 0 to 60, 558 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:56,266 the 599 will get you from 0 559 00:19:56,348 --> 00:19:57,837 to 150! 560 00:20:02,466 --> 00:20:03,719 And then there's the way 561 00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:05,438 it goes round corners. 562 00:20:05,919 --> 00:20:06,856 What I do 563 00:20:06,927 --> 00:20:08,415 in a normal fast car 564 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,032 coming round here is brake... 565 00:20:10,337 --> 00:20:11,298 turn in, 566 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,079 you feel the grip, OK? 567 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:15,266 And then you balance the throttle 568 00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:18,008 to hold it on the limit of grip, and then 569 00:20:18,195 --> 00:20:20,562 you call the tow truck to pull you out of the field. 570 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:22,976 In this, however, 571 00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:24,894 things are a little bit different. 572 00:20:25,081 --> 00:20:27,355 I simply choose what sort of 573 00:20:27,589 --> 00:20:28,937 cornering I'd like to do 574 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,800 with this little switch. 575 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,825 So, if I put it here... 576 00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:34,702 I can make it do this. 577 00:20:40,627 --> 00:20:42,373 Or if I put it here, 578 00:20:42,619 --> 00:20:44,564 I can make it do this. 579 00:20:48,994 --> 00:20:50,834 Hold onto your spleen, everyone! 580 00:20:54,216 --> 00:20:56,485 Or if you're feeling brave 581 00:20:56,543 --> 00:20:57,551 and talented, 582 00:20:57,598 --> 00:20:59,801 you can turn the system off all together, 583 00:21:00,387 --> 00:21:01,805 in which case you'll corner 584 00:21:02,039 --> 00:21:03,012 like this. 585 00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:08,566 Oh, dear! 586 00:21:12,011 --> 00:21:13,218 Big cloud of smoke! 587 00:21:14,631 --> 00:21:15,897 And then it stalls. 588 00:21:19,049 --> 00:21:21,006 To be honest, I don't really like 589 00:21:21,112 --> 00:21:22,237 any of this 590 00:21:22,841 --> 00:21:24,165 electronic stuff. 591 00:21:24,212 --> 00:21:26,298 I'm not the sort of person who spends his evening 592 00:21:26,603 --> 00:21:27,669 on Bebo 593 00:21:27,951 --> 00:21:29,087 or Myface, 594 00:21:30,060 --> 00:21:31,302 but I will admit... 595 00:21:31,396 --> 00:21:32,708 when it all comes together, 596 00:21:32,826 --> 00:21:34,064 the effect is, um... 597 00:21:35,271 --> 00:21:36,455 ... profound. 598 00:21:40,931 --> 00:21:41,752 In short, 599 00:21:41,857 --> 00:21:43,439 this does for other cars 600 00:21:43,533 --> 00:21:44,517 what the laptop did 601 00:21:44,599 --> 00:21:46,286 for the typewriter. 602 00:21:46,509 --> 00:21:48,841 And because it's so high-tech, it's easy to drive. 603 00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:50,270 You might even imagine 604 00:21:50,329 --> 00:21:52,345 you could use a 599 605 00:21:52,567 --> 00:21:53,985 for trips to the shops. 606 00:21:56,502 --> 00:21:58,893 But not so fast on that one. 607 00:22:02,289 --> 00:22:03,156 In the past, 608 00:22:03,226 --> 00:22:06,004 this was the natural stomping ground of the Ferrari, 609 00:22:06,355 --> 00:22:07,245 under a cover, 610 00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:08,722 in a garage 611 00:22:09,682 --> 00:22:11,346 and with good reason. 612 00:22:11,826 --> 00:22:13,338 The 512 was 613 00:22:13,408 --> 00:22:15,389 too difficult and heavy to be used 614 00:22:15,483 --> 00:22:16,748 as an everyday car. 615 00:22:19,291 --> 00:22:20,001 The Enzo 616 00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,243 has problems too. 617 00:22:21,525 --> 00:22:23,493 It was only available with left-hand drive, 618 00:22:23,552 --> 00:22:26,505 so if you pulled up at a slightly oblique junction, 619 00:22:27,044 --> 00:22:28,532 you couldn't see what was coming. 620 00:22:31,531 --> 00:22:33,453 The 599, though, looks 621 00:22:33,570 --> 00:22:35,773 as though it gets round these problems. 622 00:22:36,804 --> 00:22:38,363 There's a parcel shelf in the back 623 00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:39,629 for your golf clubs. 624 00:22:40,086 --> 00:22:41,559 Service intervals are every 625 00:22:41,629 --> 00:22:43,023 12,500 miles 626 00:22:43,117 --> 00:22:44,945 and because the engine's in the front... 627 00:22:45,719 --> 00:22:47,172 it has a big boot. 628 00:22:47,852 --> 00:22:49,469 Don't, however, be fooled, 629 00:22:49,996 --> 00:22:52,149 because there are one or two little issues. 630 00:22:52,429 --> 00:22:55,452 I took one of these out on the roads near where I live the other day 631 00:22:55,523 --> 00:22:56,753 and it was so wide 632 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,097 I spent most of my time in the ditch 633 00:22:59,249 --> 00:23:00,861 or the hedge trying to avoid people 634 00:23:00,908 --> 00:23:01,916 coming the other way. 635 00:23:02,104 --> 00:23:04,834 The headlights were like candles in jam jars, 636 00:23:05,526 --> 00:23:08,045 the automatic wipers turned themselves on 637 00:23:08,197 --> 00:23:09,908 every time it stopped raining, 638 00:23:10,384 --> 00:23:12,224 The air-conditioning system had a mind of its own 639 00:23:12,376 --> 00:23:13,372 it kept steaming up. 640 00:23:13,501 --> 00:23:15,106 And the ambient lighting, 641 00:23:15,177 --> 00:23:18,095 designed to bathe the interior in a warm glow, 642 00:23:18,329 --> 00:23:20,580 lit the whole thing up like a battlefield. 643 00:23:20,768 --> 00:23:21,776 You really couldn't 644 00:23:21,823 --> 00:23:24,108 buy a 599 to use every day. 645 00:23:26,756 --> 00:23:28,080 More worryingly, though, 646 00:23:28,268 --> 00:23:29,733 I wouldn't buy one at all. 647 00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,599 You see, if it's a car you can only really use on 648 00:23:32,763 --> 00:23:35,048 special occasions, you want it to feel... 649 00:23:35,130 --> 00:23:35,939 special. 650 00:23:37,228 --> 00:23:39,068 ..and somehow it doesn't. 651 00:23:40,379 --> 00:23:42,207 Technically, it's brilliant. 652 00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:43,543 I respect it 653 00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:44,469 hugely, 654 00:23:44,563 --> 00:23:47,692 in the same way that I respect the technology in my iPod, 655 00:23:48,067 --> 00:23:49,344 but I don't love it. 656 00:23:49,715 --> 00:23:51,051 And that's why if I were gonna 657 00:23:51,122 --> 00:23:54,016 blow £185,000 on a Ferrari, 658 00:23:54,122 --> 00:23:56,465 I'd walk right past the 599 659 00:23:56,688 --> 00:23:58,340 and get one of these: 660 00:24:12,779 --> 00:24:14,818 It's a Ferrari 275 GTS. 661 00:24:16,002 --> 00:24:18,017 Even by the standards of the day, 662 00:24:18,380 --> 00:24:20,338 1964, it was... 663 00:24:20,666 --> 00:24:21,650 rubbish! 664 00:24:22,765 --> 00:24:24,301 The prop-shaft, for instance, 665 00:24:24,371 --> 00:24:26,574 that links the engine at the front to the gearbox at the back, 666 00:24:26,621 --> 00:24:28,789 was never aligned properly, so it'd wear out 667 00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:29,867 immediately. 668 00:24:30,425 --> 00:24:33,273 And that was a good thing, actually, because it meant owners 669 00:24:33,718 --> 00:24:35,815 didn't have a chance to find out that the brakes 670 00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:37,761 were actually milk bottle tops. 671 00:24:38,546 --> 00:24:39,507 They'd stop you... 672 00:24:40,386 --> 00:24:41,042 once. 673 00:24:42,882 --> 00:24:44,113 And, you know what? 674 00:24:45,379 --> 00:24:46,726 None of that matters, 675 00:24:46,879 --> 00:24:48,543 because, look at it... 676 00:24:49,234 --> 00:24:51,894 It's 14 feet of almost nothing but 677 00:24:51,988 --> 00:24:54,448 passion and flair and style. 678 00:24:54,624 --> 00:24:56,944 So when you drive it once a year, maybe, 679 00:24:57,812 --> 00:24:59,019 it makes you feel... 680 00:24:59,616 --> 00:25:00,554 special. 681 00:25:01,409 --> 00:25:02,581 The 599 682 00:25:03,272 --> 00:25:06,092 is just a bucket-load of science and maths, 683 00:25:06,795 --> 00:25:08,728 this 275 is... 684 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:10,744 is what matters. 685 00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:12,619 It's heart and soul. 686 00:25:20,537 --> 00:25:21,357 Look at this. 687 00:25:21,428 --> 00:25:22,728 It is amazing! 688 00:25:24,041 --> 00:25:25,951 As a technical exercise, 689 00:25:26,021 --> 00:25:28,412 As a technical exercise it's just... 690 00:25:28,517 --> 00:25:29,326 astonishing. 691 00:25:29,478 --> 00:25:31,044 The science and maths is phenomenal in it, 692 00:25:31,126 --> 00:25:31,969 it really is. 693 00:25:32,063 --> 00:25:33,868 And would you really rather have 694 00:25:34,173 --> 00:25:35,544 that old 275? 695 00:25:35,708 --> 00:25:36,926 Honest to God, I really would. 696 00:25:37,231 --> 00:25:38,684 Anyway, we must now find out 697 00:25:38,731 --> 00:25:39,868 how fast this car 698 00:25:39,992 --> 00:25:41,234 goes round our track. 699 00:25:41,281 --> 00:25:43,929 Of course, that means handing it over to our tame racing driver. 700 00:25:44,907 --> 00:25:45,951 Some say 701 00:25:46,679 --> 00:25:48,128 that he gets terrible eczema 702 00:25:48,325 --> 00:25:49,336 on his helmet... 703 00:25:51,496 --> 00:25:53,755 ... and that if he'd been the video ref 704 00:25:53,851 --> 00:25:55,522 in the World Cup rugby final 705 00:25:55,582 --> 00:25:59,157 he would have seen that of course it was a try, you blind Australian halfwit! 706 00:26:00,340 --> 00:26:01,420 All we know is, 707 00:26:01,463 --> 00:26:02,758 he's called the Stig! 708 00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:05,192 And he's off! 709 00:26:05,224 --> 00:26:06,295 Lots of smoke there, 710 00:26:06,347 --> 00:26:07,461 mostly from the tortured clutch 711 00:26:07,521 --> 00:26:09,107 as Stig gives it the beans 712 00:26:09,313 --> 00:26:10,718 in the secret Launch mode! 713 00:26:11,198 --> 00:26:12,030 First corner. 714 00:26:12,078 --> 00:26:13,286 He turns in hard. 715 00:26:14,023 --> 00:26:14,975 The tyres squeal... 716 00:26:15,035 --> 00:26:16,552 more roll than you might expect, actually... 717 00:26:16,629 --> 00:26:17,255 Well... that's... 718 00:26:17,801 --> 00:26:18,769 That is a lot! 719 00:26:19,267 --> 00:26:21,230 'A sixth-sensory person 720 00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:22,910 interacts with the world, 721 00:26:22,944 --> 00:26:24,530 witnessing energy 722 00:26:24,579 --> 00:26:26,027 in a detached mode. 723 00:26:27,047 --> 00:26:29,042 Magneto-rheological dampers 724 00:26:29,071 --> 00:26:30,688 sport traction control off, 725 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:32,342 stereo sadly on, though. 726 00:26:32,402 --> 00:26:34,825 Tail just flicking out there, coming into the Hammerhead... 727 00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:36,000 Very hard on the brakes. 728 00:26:36,394 --> 00:26:37,766 Almost beat the ABS there. 729 00:26:39,737 --> 00:26:41,370 That's a big drift! 730 00:26:41,816 --> 00:26:44,894 This may be a V12 Pentium Processor, but God, it can dance! 731 00:26:44,928 --> 00:26:46,522 Use that energy to be more giving, 732 00:26:46,574 --> 00:26:48,211 more supportive and more effective. 733 00:26:49,134 --> 00:26:52,083 Right, now the full fury of that Enzo engine. 734 00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:54,072 Here it goes. 735 00:26:54,124 --> 00:26:55,324 Powers through the Follow-through, 736 00:26:55,358 --> 00:26:56,427 through the tyres. 737 00:26:56,693 --> 00:26:57,470 That is quick, 738 00:26:57,513 --> 00:26:58,628 but is it supercar quick 739 00:26:58,679 --> 00:27:01,988 or will the 599 softer GT side slow it down? 740 00:27:02,749 --> 00:27:04,594 Coming up to Gambon now. 741 00:27:05,029 --> 00:27:06,632 Super tidy through there. 742 00:27:07,018 --> 00:27:08,389 And across the line! 743 00:27:12,599 --> 00:27:13,818 Got to remember 744 00:27:13,876 --> 00:27:16,513 that we're talking here about a car that weighs 745 00:27:16,794 --> 00:27:18,025 nearly two tons, 746 00:27:18,142 --> 00:27:19,138 leather seats, 747 00:27:19,208 --> 00:27:20,193 air conditioning, 748 00:27:20,286 --> 00:27:22,052 big boot... and it did it 749 00:27:22,134 --> 00:27:23,037 faster 750 00:27:23,271 --> 00:27:24,853 than a Ford GT. 751 00:27:25,755 --> 00:27:26,951 1 minute 22.2 752 00:27:27,044 --> 00:27:29,236 That is truly staggering. 753 00:27:30,033 --> 00:27:31,193 But now we must move on, 754 00:27:31,436 --> 00:27:32,233 because 755 00:27:32,303 --> 00:27:33,510 it's time to put a star 756 00:27:33,580 --> 00:27:35,104 in our reasonably priced car. 757 00:27:35,174 --> 00:27:36,276 My guest tonight holds 758 00:27:36,452 --> 00:27:37,998 an amazing record. 759 00:27:38,127 --> 00:27:39,768 He has been seen in the flesh 760 00:27:39,822 --> 00:27:41,216 by more people than 761 00:27:41,333 --> 00:27:44,157 anyone else in the history of humankind. 762 00:27:44,802 --> 00:27:47,029 And that is because he is a member of a band 763 00:27:47,146 --> 00:27:48,278 called the Rolling Stones. 764 00:27:48,348 --> 00:27:50,118 Ladies and gentlemen, Ronnie Wood! 765 00:27:54,237 --> 00:27:55,206 Can't believe this. 766 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,217 Hello, mate. 767 00:27:56,654 --> 00:27:57,606 Staggering! 768 00:27:57,655 --> 00:27:58,084 All right? 769 00:27:58,426 --> 00:27:59,541 I'm very well, how are you? 770 00:27:59,927 --> 00:28:00,655 Good. 771 00:28:01,938 --> 00:28:02,744 I guess, um... 772 00:28:05,427 --> 00:28:08,170 I guess you must be unnerved by a crowd as big as this. 773 00:28:08,373 --> 00:28:09,230 I know, I know... 774 00:28:09,265 --> 00:28:10,259 500 people here. 775 00:28:10,293 --> 00:28:11,434 It's nice to be intimate. 776 00:28:12,548 --> 00:28:14,254 It's not intimate, this is huge! 777 00:28:14,297 --> 00:28:15,308 Is this true...? 778 00:28:15,784 --> 00:28:17,010 Cos we were working out the other day... 779 00:28:17,045 --> 00:28:18,776 What do you get on an average tour these days? 780 00:28:18,819 --> 00:28:20,011 How many people come? 781 00:28:20,799 --> 00:28:22,025 Oh, God... Um... 782 00:28:22,428 --> 00:28:23,439 Many millions. 783 00:28:23,491 --> 00:28:24,670 I reckon... 784 00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:26,547 more people than the Pope. 785 00:28:28,964 --> 00:28:30,242 The Pope is nothing... 786 00:28:30,581 --> 00:28:32,776 Can't see the Pope singing Satisfaction, 787 00:28:32,819 --> 00:28:34,010 let's be honest. 788 00:28:34,122 --> 00:28:36,462 Now, I've got to get straight to business here. 789 00:28:37,573 --> 00:28:39,656 You look at the Stones, you've all got good hair. 790 00:28:40,076 --> 00:28:41,534 How can you have known that 791 00:28:41,705 --> 00:28:42,982 when you all got together? 792 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,803 Well, none of us wanted to be in Fleetwood Mac. 793 00:28:49,958 --> 00:28:51,878 Hair's an important thing... why is... you know... 794 00:28:52,101 --> 00:28:53,275 Must be the gypsy blood! 795 00:28:53,369 --> 00:28:55,122 I know you're the first member of your family 796 00:28:55,163 --> 00:28:56,432 to be born on dry land, is that right? 797 00:28:56,555 --> 00:28:57,769 Yeah, me and my two brothers, 798 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,825 all the rest of the family right back down to the 1700s 799 00:29:00,894 --> 00:29:03,733 that I traced so far were all born on the water. 800 00:29:04,103 --> 00:29:05,015 You all were on... 801 00:29:05,042 --> 00:29:06,695 - ... canals rather than...? - Yeah, on the canals. 802 00:29:06,818 --> 00:29:08,544 I didn't realise that gipsies were born... 803 00:29:08,578 --> 00:29:09,956 I thought they were born in caravans, not in... 804 00:29:11,081 --> 00:29:11,952 narrowboats. 805 00:29:11,993 --> 00:29:13,760 I've got a caravan for the dry land bit. 806 00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:15,296 You're kidding! You've still got a caravan? 807 00:29:15,481 --> 00:29:16,400 Yeah, I got a few... 808 00:29:16,516 --> 00:29:17,915 one in the front and one in the back garden. 809 00:29:17,947 --> 00:29:19,202 Would you like us to destroy them? 810 00:29:20,539 --> 00:29:21,732 No, I can do that myself. 811 00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:24,990 Honestly, we would be even better than you at destroying them. 812 00:29:25,490 --> 00:29:27,189 Now, you've got a book out. 813 00:29:27,353 --> 00:29:28,783 - Which is called... - Da-dah! 814 00:29:28,818 --> 00:29:29,943 You've brought one with you... 815 00:29:30,048 --> 00:29:31,103 It's called Ronnie. 816 00:29:31,291 --> 00:29:32,552 The one thing, having read it, 817 00:29:32,599 --> 00:29:35,259 that fascinates me is, how are you still alive? 818 00:29:37,099 --> 00:29:38,177 Good question. 819 00:29:38,294 --> 00:29:39,782 How did you do it? 820 00:29:39,876 --> 00:29:42,091 Every single thing that's ever happened in your life 821 00:29:42,262 --> 00:29:43,609 would have killed anybody else. 822 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:44,570 The drugs, 823 00:29:44,793 --> 00:29:46,785 the fights even in the early days, when you were with 824 00:29:47,031 --> 00:29:47,910 Jeff Beck... 825 00:29:47,957 --> 00:29:49,973 Yeah, the escapes, the escapes 826 00:29:50,043 --> 00:29:51,813 oh, my God, from some motorway café. 827 00:29:52,687 --> 00:29:54,632 - What, the Blue Boar days? - Yeah. 828 00:29:54,843 --> 00:29:56,810 Cos all the bands used to meet there after doing gigs, 829 00:29:56,930 --> 00:29:57,995 at the Blue Boar, on the M1. 830 00:29:58,101 --> 00:29:59,073 We would ahm... 831 00:29:59,261 --> 00:30:01,281 be sitting there at the shank of the evening 832 00:30:01,331 --> 00:30:03,768 and outside you could see the gangs gathering, you know, 833 00:30:03,827 --> 00:30:05,713 and they're going, "We'll have that lot, in the end" 834 00:30:05,772 --> 00:30:07,295 - The mods and rockers gangs? - Yeah! 835 00:30:07,372 --> 00:30:09,774 And we didn't know which one was gonna attack us, 836 00:30:10,637 --> 00:30:12,617 We had to pretend to be on both sides, 837 00:30:12,688 --> 00:30:15,524 and also get out of there and make our escape so... 838 00:30:15,957 --> 00:30:17,996 we had to jump into the car through the window, 839 00:30:18,265 --> 00:30:19,379 into the back... 840 00:30:19,472 --> 00:30:21,887 The full Dukes of Hazzard through the window? 841 00:30:22,015 --> 00:30:25,273 Yeah, just the window was luckily wound down because they'd come at you with... 842 00:30:27,101 --> 00:30:29,276 with baseball bats and whatever other sticks 843 00:30:29,335 --> 00:30:32,417 and nails and stuff they could get their hands on. 844 00:30:32,510 --> 00:30:35,311 And Jeff would get behind the driver's seat, and... 845 00:30:35,346 --> 00:30:37,955 one against the petrol pump, another one against the wall... 846 00:30:38,001 --> 00:30:39,337 Boom, boom, get out! 847 00:30:39,654 --> 00:30:41,869 So Jeff Beck's not only an amazing guitarist, 848 00:30:41,927 --> 00:30:43,392 but he's also a getaway driver? 849 00:30:43,458 --> 00:30:45,192 He is. Oh yeah. 850 00:30:45,275 --> 00:30:47,346 This is one of the things I noticed in your friend list, 851 00:30:47,455 --> 00:30:50,000 in your book, it's looking at your friends, 852 00:30:50,455 --> 00:30:53,121 you've met people like John Belushi, Hendrix... 853 00:30:53,456 --> 00:30:56,014 All those people... they're not exactly a Methodist Bible group. 854 00:30:57,675 --> 00:31:01,141 Which brings us round to our dearly departed friend, Keith Moon, 855 00:31:02,012 --> 00:31:03,258 God bless him. 856 00:31:03,847 --> 00:31:06,780 Driving up the steps, straight through the plate glass window and saying, 857 00:31:06,861 --> 00:31:08,816 "Could I have my room key, please?" 858 00:31:09,647 --> 00:31:10,919 You saw him do that? 859 00:31:11,039 --> 00:31:12,258 Yeah, and he pitched a tent 860 00:31:12,379 --> 00:31:15,486 in the lobby of the Beverley Wiltshire in Hollywood 861 00:31:15,633 --> 00:31:17,187 because they wouldn't let him in, 862 00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:19,384 so he said, "I'm staying anyway." 863 00:31:19,598 --> 00:31:20,857 Oh, look, that's proper... 864 00:31:20,925 --> 00:31:23,398 There's none of that... you wouldn't see Daniel Bedingfield 865 00:31:23,468 --> 00:31:24,478 doing that. 866 00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:27,186 What's your record for staying up? 867 00:31:28,064 --> 00:31:29,975 6 days, 6 nights 868 00:31:30,139 --> 00:31:31,744 With a concert after everyone. 869 00:31:32,084 --> 00:31:34,475 We would play Madison Square Garden, 870 00:31:34,803 --> 00:31:36,194 Keith and I would say, 871 00:31:36,569 --> 00:31:38,151 "Well, we might as well make a laugh of it..." 872 00:31:38,268 --> 00:31:40,834 Let's go down to the studio with Eric Clapton, 873 00:31:40,905 --> 00:31:43,131 Let's go down to Electric Lady", so we'd do that 874 00:31:43,471 --> 00:31:44,537 every night... 875 00:31:44,608 --> 00:31:46,795 We'd say, "There's no point in going to bed now, 876 00:31:47,310 --> 00:31:49,021 we'll be on in a few more hours". 877 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,142 So that went on second day, third day,... 878 00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:53,931 Fourth day I said, "Keith, I'm going to rest now..." 879 00:31:54,224 --> 00:31:56,154 "Nobody sleeps while I'm awake..." 880 00:31:56,611 --> 00:31:59,353 So we did the extra two days and, before we knew it... 881 00:32:00,126 --> 00:32:01,861 We had a nice two days' kip. 882 00:32:02,154 --> 00:32:04,368 That's just fantastic... 883 00:32:04,427 --> 00:32:06,872 And then there was also, not only the danger, obviously, 884 00:32:06,930 --> 00:32:08,231 of touring and staying up,... 885 00:32:08,278 --> 00:32:10,000 Keith Richards obviously was... 886 00:32:10,247 --> 00:32:12,262 armed a lot of the time as well... 887 00:32:12,579 --> 00:32:15,340 Yeah, before the good old days of the terrorists, 888 00:32:15,492 --> 00:32:18,563 at the airports, you used to be able to carry a piece on with you 889 00:32:18,633 --> 00:32:20,156 Did Keith ever shoot anybody 890 00:32:20,567 --> 00:32:21,199 or anything? 891 00:32:21,234 --> 00:32:22,156 He'd shoot 892 00:32:22,589 --> 00:32:24,968 between somebody's legs that he was mad at in his room once, 893 00:32:25,015 --> 00:32:26,105 And it went... 894 00:32:26,292 --> 00:32:28,073 through the ceiling and disturbed 895 00:32:28,179 --> 00:32:29,573 an old people's card game 896 00:32:29,679 --> 00:32:30,968 in the room below. 897 00:32:32,452 --> 00:32:34,092 Why do we all have the jobs we have? 898 00:32:34,151 --> 00:32:35,475 Why aren't we all in bands? 899 00:32:35,592 --> 00:32:37,397 Didn't he shoot somebody's guitar once? 900 00:32:37,889 --> 00:32:39,882 Yeah, which turned out to be his own guitar! 901 00:32:41,952 --> 00:32:43,686 He thought it was Mick's, and he was mad at Mick 902 00:32:43,733 --> 00:32:45,209 and said, I'll shoot his guitar... 903 00:32:45,350 --> 00:32:46,698 So he got a pillow, 904 00:32:47,694 --> 00:32:49,416 And I said to a roadie, 905 00:32:50,876 --> 00:32:52,517 "Oh, what we're gonna tell Mick?" 906 00:32:52,622 --> 00:32:54,556 He said, "Don't worry, he borrowed it from Keith anyway..." 907 00:32:58,001 --> 00:33:00,000 Reading the book I was thinking, OK, you lived through that, 908 00:33:00,071 --> 00:33:02,590 you lived through the fights, you lived through the 60s and the mods and the rockers, 909 00:33:02,637 --> 00:33:04,582 you lived through the drugs, you lived through all the drink. 910 00:33:04,981 --> 00:33:05,953 But when you... 911 00:33:06,024 --> 00:33:07,676 taped over your wedding video, 912 00:33:08,426 --> 00:33:09,935 Why did you have to bring that out for? 913 00:33:10,978 --> 00:33:12,220 Nearly an early divorce. 914 00:33:12,372 --> 00:33:14,364 Did you actually kill him for that? 915 00:33:15,384 --> 00:33:16,321 You nearly did. 916 00:33:16,403 --> 00:33:17,774 It's only the last bit of it, 917 00:33:17,821 --> 00:33:19,567 you know in the old days with videos, 918 00:33:19,633 --> 00:33:21,566 you'd hit STOP and it would go back about... 919 00:33:21,660 --> 00:33:22,467 Yeah... 920 00:33:22,587 --> 00:33:23,723 ... a foot, or something... 921 00:33:23,898 --> 00:33:24,695 So... 922 00:33:24,941 --> 00:33:26,863 We're getting into Joe singing... 923 00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:28,422 "And then he kissed me" at the... 924 00:33:28,488 --> 00:33:29,718 wedding reception. 925 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,968 and then suddenly, ??? 926 00:33:36,838 --> 00:33:38,415 Ok, now, there's one thing that... 927 00:33:39,019 --> 00:33:41,820 I think we all have in our heads, really about the Stones 928 00:33:41,940 --> 00:33:44,956 is that you have absolutely no idea about how the world works any more... 929 00:33:45,076 --> 00:33:46,995 You just live in this incredible... 930 00:33:47,581 --> 00:33:48,636 ... separate existance. 931 00:33:48,756 --> 00:33:51,085 Is that the case or are you in touch with how the world goes? 932 00:33:51,205 --> 00:33:52,198 Well, it is... 933 00:33:52,318 --> 00:33:54,111 difficult being on tour and... 934 00:33:54,580 --> 00:33:56,490 you know, going to the office with a... 935 00:33:56,610 --> 00:33:57,908 police escort and... 936 00:33:58,028 --> 00:33:59,619 private planes, and... 937 00:33:59,739 --> 00:34:01,236 It's pretty hard to adjust, 938 00:34:01,591 --> 00:34:02,305 coming off. 939 00:34:03,114 --> 00:34:05,094 I just find it so very difficult 940 00:34:05,214 --> 00:34:07,157 to imagine a Rolling Stone... Can't imagine Mick 941 00:34:07,277 --> 00:34:09,969 driving a car. I can't imagine him knowing what the levers where for. 942 00:34:10,895 --> 00:34:12,536 I can't see Charlie driving, either, 943 00:34:12,656 --> 00:34:13,731 Has he got a driving license? 944 00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:14,293 No. 945 00:34:14,516 --> 00:34:15,254 Oh, he hasn't. 946 00:34:15,477 --> 00:34:16,543 So he's got no cars. 947 00:34:16,663 --> 00:34:17,844 He owns... 948 00:34:17,964 --> 00:34:19,274 a wonderful... 949 00:34:19,394 --> 00:34:20,073 Lagonda. 950 00:34:20,193 --> 00:34:22,792 He's got a collection of rare old cars 951 00:34:23,109 --> 00:34:24,187 and he likes to 952 00:34:24,307 --> 00:34:25,628 hear the sound of the engine, 953 00:34:26,179 --> 00:34:27,526 but not rev it up. 954 00:34:27,646 --> 00:34:29,205 Don't like to rev it up. 955 00:34:29,325 --> 00:34:29,908 Or... 956 00:34:30,028 --> 00:34:31,103 go anywhere in it. 957 00:34:31,223 --> 00:34:33,095 He gets suits made 958 00:34:33,634 --> 00:34:34,548 of the same... 959 00:34:34,668 --> 00:34:36,822 design as the car, you know, it's sort of... 960 00:34:36,942 --> 00:34:38,604 maroon and grey, 961 00:34:38,724 --> 00:34:40,397 with stripes and something, and... 962 00:34:40,517 --> 00:34:41,276 sits in it, 963 00:34:42,225 --> 00:34:43,690 He's an eccentric. 964 00:34:44,522 --> 00:34:45,940 I love the idea of being him, 965 00:34:46,060 --> 00:34:47,699 You're just so... 966 00:34:47,819 --> 00:34:48,730 I do have, 967 00:34:48,850 --> 00:34:50,394 In Ireland I do have my 968 00:34:50,514 --> 00:34:51,718 old 6.3 Mercedes 969 00:34:51,838 --> 00:34:52,574 An old one? 970 00:34:52,694 --> 00:34:54,425 Yeah, 97, yeah. 971 00:34:54,545 --> 00:34:56,101 Huge, really good looking. 972 00:34:56,406 --> 00:34:56,956 beautiful? 973 00:34:57,076 --> 00:34:58,327 With hydraulic 974 00:34:58,447 --> 00:35:00,320 - seats and boot-lid and everything? - Yeah. 975 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,605 That's a lovely car, what else have you got? 976 00:35:03,613 --> 00:35:04,714 I've got an old 977 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:06,016 Chevrolet 978 00:35:06,136 --> 00:35:07,035 2-seater 979 00:35:07,155 --> 00:35:08,313 with dickie seats. 980 00:35:08,433 --> 00:35:10,539 and wooden spoke wheels. 981 00:35:10,785 --> 00:35:11,770 from the 1920s. 982 00:35:11,890 --> 00:35:13,737 Though it really didn't set you up in any way 983 00:35:13,857 --> 00:35:15,846 for the Chevrolet that we provided you with 984 00:35:15,858 --> 00:35:16,913 today to do the lap. 985 00:35:17,170 --> 00:35:18,213 Is that what it was? 986 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:19,983 Chevrolet Lacetti! 987 00:35:20,103 --> 00:35:20,967 Oh! 988 00:35:21,087 --> 00:35:22,397 How was it out on the... 989 00:35:22,517 --> 00:35:23,438 on the circuit? 990 00:35:23,558 --> 00:35:24,786 It was fantastic, by the 991 00:35:24,906 --> 00:35:26,684 time I did my last lap, I thought, 992 00:35:26,804 --> 00:35:27,927 "I could get into this!" 993 00:35:28,047 --> 00:35:29,016 Who'd like to see 994 00:35:29,136 --> 00:35:29,837 the lap? 995 00:35:30,425 --> 00:35:31,679 Play the tape, here we go! 996 00:35:34,072 --> 00:35:35,583 Hello, come on, let's go! 997 00:35:36,263 --> 00:35:37,892 Ronnie Wood in our Chevrolet. 998 00:35:38,012 --> 00:35:40,060 We gotta think lap times here. 999 00:35:40,295 --> 00:35:41,607 The slowest one ever! 1000 00:35:43,536 --> 00:35:44,989 Let's have a look. Is that slow? 1001 00:35:45,109 --> 00:35:46,290 No, it is not. 1002 00:35:46,410 --> 00:35:47,485 Better than Jools Holland. 1003 00:35:49,782 --> 00:35:50,556 That was nice. 1004 00:35:51,235 --> 00:35:51,950 Brake. 1005 00:35:52,958 --> 00:35:54,699 You need to for that corner. 1006 00:35:55,261 --> 00:35:56,726 That's looking good as well. 1007 00:35:57,558 --> 00:35:58,531 Come on! 1008 00:35:58,651 --> 00:36:00,054 You old crate! 1009 00:36:01,906 --> 00:36:03,594 You do need to brake again there. 1010 00:36:05,082 --> 00:36:06,980 Liking the braking while understeering, 1011 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:08,222 nice and tidy. 1012 00:36:08,551 --> 00:36:09,828 Go on, Ronnie, go on, 1013 00:36:09,948 --> 00:36:10,812 go on! 1014 00:36:10,932 --> 00:36:13,077 Going into this one nice and fast. 1015 00:36:15,362 --> 00:36:16,592 I'm loving this. 1016 00:36:18,256 --> 00:36:19,124 This one... 1017 00:36:19,244 --> 00:36:20,542 even faster. 1018 00:36:21,422 --> 00:36:23,297 Bloody hell, that is quick! 1019 00:36:24,106 --> 00:36:26,040 I'll hit this nice too. 1020 00:36:26,508 --> 00:36:28,793 I really didn't think you'd be able to do this. 1021 00:36:28,913 --> 00:36:30,926 I thought you'd just get lost and not know your name. 1022 00:36:31,316 --> 00:36:33,097 It's the last corner again... 1023 00:36:33,718 --> 00:36:36,191 and there he is across the line, everybody! 1024 00:36:38,792 --> 00:36:40,081 I didn't spin off! 1025 00:36:40,491 --> 00:36:41,581 I'm staggered! 1026 00:36:43,163 --> 00:36:44,769 I am genuinely amazed at that. 1027 00:36:44,889 --> 00:36:45,812 I'm still shaken. 1028 00:36:45,932 --> 00:36:47,066 But you liked it? 1029 00:36:47,186 --> 00:36:48,448 Yeah, adrenaline. 1030 00:36:48,568 --> 00:36:49,058 That's great. 1031 00:36:49,178 --> 00:36:51,228 So, where do you think 1032 00:36:51,556 --> 00:36:52,435 you've come 1033 00:36:52,763 --> 00:36:53,607 on our 1034 00:36:53,935 --> 00:36:55,130 lap times board? 1035 00:36:55,529 --> 00:36:56,664 Even if I came last, 1036 00:36:56,784 --> 00:36:58,552 I just enjoyed the hell out of it. 1037 00:36:59,112 --> 00:37:00,799 Sweet man, but you didn't come last. 1038 00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:01,807 Not even close. 1039 00:37:01,927 --> 00:37:02,744 You did it 1040 00:37:02,864 --> 00:37:04,033 in 1 minute... 1041 00:37:06,869 --> 00:37:08,920 49.4 seconds. 1042 00:37:09,347 --> 00:37:10,249 You, mate, 1043 00:37:11,222 --> 00:37:11,949 are right... 1044 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,027 Quicker than Jools. 1045 00:37:19,645 --> 00:37:21,180 Where's Helen Mirren's name on there? 1046 00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:22,539 Helen Mirren is there, 1047 00:37:22,879 --> 00:37:24,133 1.52.8. 1048 00:37:25,117 --> 00:37:27,262 Well, that has just been the best fun having you on, 1049 00:37:27,382 --> 00:37:28,750 honestly. Ladies and gentlemen, 1050 00:37:28,870 --> 00:37:30,227 Ronnie Wood! 1051 00:37:37,567 --> 00:37:38,563 Now, 1052 00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:40,086 over the years, 1053 00:37:40,206 --> 00:37:42,606 technology has done a great deal to help old people. 1054 00:37:42,726 --> 00:37:44,223 It's given them the Stannah Stairlift, 1055 00:37:44,343 --> 00:37:45,667 the electric tin opener 1056 00:37:45,787 --> 00:37:47,331 and the rubberised undersheet. 1057 00:37:47,753 --> 00:37:50,531 But there's never been anything to help old people park... 1058 00:37:50,777 --> 00:37:51,937 until now! 1059 00:37:52,057 --> 00:37:55,221 'Cause this Lexus LS600 can park itself. 1060 00:37:55,619 --> 00:37:57,448 Now, here's basically how it works. 1061 00:37:57,568 --> 00:37:59,229 At the back of the car, there are sensors 1062 00:37:59,349 --> 00:38:01,584 in the bumper that know where its extremes are. 1063 00:38:01,704 --> 00:38:03,134 There's a tiny little camera here 1064 00:38:03,254 --> 00:38:06,333 that looks behind and when Hammond presses a little button on the screen, 1065 00:38:06,453 --> 00:38:08,677 it will reverse and steer itself 1066 00:38:08,934 --> 00:38:10,118 into that spot. 1067 00:38:10,238 --> 00:38:11,747 Yup, it's that easy. 1068 00:38:11,867 --> 00:38:13,447 I just engage reverse gear, 1069 00:38:13,693 --> 00:38:15,040 I can see the cameras here, 1070 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:16,740 I press some buttons and stuff 1071 00:38:16,860 --> 00:38:17,958 and then it parks! 1072 00:38:18,078 --> 00:38:19,810 Here goes! This is gonna go well. 1073 00:38:20,243 --> 00:38:22,388 Hammond, I'm sorry to interrupt 1074 00:38:22,508 --> 00:38:23,970 but this is the instruction book 1075 00:38:24,090 --> 00:38:25,352 that I have here, ok? 1076 00:38:25,472 --> 00:38:26,829 for this command system. 1077 00:38:26,949 --> 00:38:28,165 All of that... 1078 00:38:28,598 --> 00:38:29,852 is for the park assist. 1079 00:38:29,972 --> 00:38:31,168 You think you can do it without reading it? 1080 00:38:32,036 --> 00:38:32,633 Well... 1081 00:38:33,395 --> 00:38:35,434 All right, go on, see if I care. 1082 00:38:35,554 --> 00:38:37,098 Go on then, go on then. 1083 00:38:37,452 --> 00:38:39,573 I don't do anything, I just take my foot off the brake, yeah? 1084 00:38:39,693 --> 00:38:42,081 Yeah, you take your foot off the brake, and then it goes. 1085 00:38:42,201 --> 00:38:45,421 I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything, I'm not doing anything! It's just the car! 1086 00:38:45,751 --> 00:38:46,675 I'm not! 1087 00:38:46,795 --> 00:38:47,801 Oh, bugger! 1088 00:38:48,809 --> 00:38:49,430 No! 1089 00:38:49,550 --> 00:38:50,075 Stop! 1090 00:38:50,848 --> 00:38:51,786 Stop! 1091 00:38:56,004 --> 00:38:57,785 You've hit the cool wall! 1092 00:38:57,905 --> 00:39:00,000 Well, it's new technology... 1093 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,027 Has anyone got any reading glasses? 1094 00:39:03,270 --> 00:39:04,594 I can't read this damn book. 1095 00:39:04,714 --> 00:39:06,129 Thanks, I promise I'll pay you back. 1096 00:39:08,368 --> 00:39:09,188 Right. 1097 00:39:09,645 --> 00:39:11,989 I've got a green light and I've hit OK. 1098 00:39:12,633 --> 00:39:14,093 And, er, right. 1099 00:39:14,504 --> 00:39:17,199 If I put my foot on the brake, it slows it down. 1100 00:39:20,797 --> 00:39:21,968 Yes, yes! 1101 00:39:22,707 --> 00:39:24,170 No! No! No, no, no, no, no! 1102 00:39:26,608 --> 00:39:28,084 The Cool Wall again! 1103 00:39:29,127 --> 00:39:31,049 I think we set the radar wrong. 1104 00:39:31,169 --> 00:39:32,983 We've got to read the book! 1105 00:39:34,146 --> 00:39:36,524 "A equals B, is less than C..." 1106 00:39:36,644 --> 00:39:39,255 "(A and B are equally far away)..." 1107 00:39:39,724 --> 00:39:41,962 How can old people understand this? 1108 00:39:42,994 --> 00:39:43,662 Jeremy? 1109 00:39:43,782 --> 00:39:44,283 What? 1110 00:39:44,403 --> 00:39:44,986 James? 1111 00:39:45,106 --> 00:39:45,536 Yes. 1112 00:39:45,656 --> 00:39:46,332 Both of you, 1113 00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:48,126 is the green square important? 1114 00:39:48,246 --> 00:39:49,017 BOTH: Yes! 1115 00:39:49,019 --> 00:39:50,907 - What does that green square mean? - It's where you go! 1116 00:39:51,027 --> 00:39:53,204 Oh, I put that in the cool wall! 1117 00:39:55,571 --> 00:39:56,895 Ah, I've moved it, I've moved it! 1118 00:39:57,015 --> 00:39:58,477 It's in the right place now. 1119 00:39:58,597 --> 00:39:59,509 So that's where I go. 1120 00:39:59,629 --> 00:40:00,540 - Here I go! - He's going, he's going... 1121 00:40:00,660 --> 00:40:01,407 I've got it, 1122 00:40:01,981 --> 00:40:03,434 I'm not touching anything. 1123 00:40:03,997 --> 00:40:05,228 Please, turn. Please, God, turn! 1124 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:06,236 Turn it the other way! 1125 00:40:06,259 --> 00:40:08,075 - No, I can't touch it! - Turn it the other way! 1126 00:40:08,195 --> 00:40:09,540 - The car has to do it. - It's doing it! 1127 00:40:09,660 --> 00:40:10,466 The car has to do it. 1128 00:40:14,124 --> 00:40:15,437 That's nearly in! 1129 00:40:15,557 --> 00:40:16,538 That's parked! 1130 00:40:18,155 --> 00:40:19,444 That is nearly there. 1131 00:40:19,564 --> 00:40:23,101 Ladies and gentlemen, give the car that nearly did it a round of applause. 1132 00:40:27,577 --> 00:40:29,850 And the really tremendous thing about this is: 1133 00:40:29,970 --> 00:40:32,452 this car is £83,000. 1134 00:40:32,572 --> 00:40:35,420 The old age pension at the moment is £87.30, 1135 00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:37,482 which means if you save all your money, 1136 00:40:37,763 --> 00:40:39,006 do without food and warmth, 1137 00:40:39,126 --> 00:40:40,493 you will be able to buy one of these 1138 00:40:40,494 --> 00:40:42,217 in just 18 years. 1139 00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:45,932 Who says we don't do sensible consumer advice on this show? 1140 00:40:47,947 --> 00:40:48,849 And there's more. 1141 00:40:48,969 --> 00:40:51,407 Because as the country becomes more and more crowded, 1142 00:40:51,527 --> 00:40:54,055 and the environmentalists become more and more noisy, 1143 00:40:54,313 --> 00:40:56,528 it makes more and more sense than ever 1144 00:40:56,648 --> 00:40:58,438 to have a small car. 1145 00:40:58,688 --> 00:41:00,106 There are lots to choose from. 1146 00:41:00,226 --> 00:41:01,149 I've got a selection here: 1147 00:41:01,173 --> 00:41:02,755 Volkswagen Polo, Suzuki Swift 1148 00:41:02,875 --> 00:41:03,950 quite nice, actually... 1149 00:41:04,454 --> 00:41:06,024 and the Citroen C1. 1150 00:41:06,144 --> 00:41:07,126 The trouble is 1151 00:41:07,454 --> 00:41:09,446 none of these cars are really small. 1152 00:41:09,566 --> 00:41:10,876 They are in fact... 1153 00:41:11,392 --> 00:41:12,505 MASSIVE. 1154 00:41:14,896 --> 00:41:16,056 40 years ago, 1155 00:41:16,176 --> 00:41:18,833 car makers could sell you something much smaller: 1156 00:41:19,408 --> 00:41:21,201 the original Mini, for example, 1157 00:41:21,321 --> 00:41:22,736 or the bubble car. 1158 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:24,763 But even these aren't small. 1159 00:41:25,113 --> 00:41:25,863 Not really. 1160 00:41:26,414 --> 00:41:27,727 Not compared... 1161 00:41:28,020 --> 00:41:29,285 to this: 1162 00:41:29,941 --> 00:41:32,109 the Peel P50. 1163 00:41:33,983 --> 00:41:34,621 That 1164 00:41:35,045 --> 00:41:36,732 is 54 inches long 1165 00:41:36,852 --> 00:41:38,195 and 41 inches wide. 1166 00:41:38,315 --> 00:41:41,171 It's listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the smallest 1167 00:41:41,291 --> 00:41:43,398 production car ever. 1168 00:41:43,518 --> 00:41:45,554 And what I'm sure you're expecting me to do now 1169 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:47,668 is introduce Richard Hammond. 1170 00:41:48,758 --> 00:41:50,786 But what I'm ACTUALLY going to do 1171 00:41:51,547 --> 00:41:52,649 is drive it to work. 1172 00:41:54,758 --> 00:41:56,575 All, erm, 6'5" of me. 1173 00:42:02,950 --> 00:42:04,989 No, that's not gonna work. I'll have to... Hang on. 1174 00:42:08,095 --> 00:42:11,540 Leg first and then... Yes! 1175 00:42:15,337 --> 00:42:17,763 Built on the Isle of Man in the early '60s, 1176 00:42:17,883 --> 00:42:19,133 the P50 was said to be 1177 00:42:19,253 --> 00:42:20,963 almost cheaper than walking. 1178 00:42:21,455 --> 00:42:23,177 It cost £198 1179 00:42:23,297 --> 00:42:25,369 and did 100 miles to the gallon. 1180 00:42:26,414 --> 00:42:27,949 It sounds perfect then, 1181 00:42:28,289 --> 00:42:29,649 for the roads of today. 1182 00:42:32,391 --> 00:42:34,700 Of course, there are one or two drawbacks. 1183 00:42:34,820 --> 00:42:37,301 I can't imagine, for instance, that it's terribly safe, 1184 00:42:37,559 --> 00:42:40,102 not when your knees are the crumple zones. 1185 00:42:41,673 --> 00:42:43,407 And nor is it very... 1186 00:42:43,689 --> 00:42:44,415 fast. 1187 00:42:45,130 --> 00:42:46,126 What I've got 1188 00:42:46,138 --> 00:42:47,907 down here by my right knee, 1189 00:42:48,027 --> 00:42:49,501 in the cabin, 1190 00:42:49,621 --> 00:42:51,434 making an awful lot of noise 1191 00:42:51,435 --> 00:42:53,427 and generating quite a bit of heat 1192 00:42:53,708 --> 00:42:56,273 is the 49cc engine 1193 00:42:56,393 --> 00:42:57,763 from a moped. 1194 00:42:58,501 --> 00:43:01,033 Top speed rather depends on how big you are 1195 00:43:01,279 --> 00:43:02,215 and, erm... 1196 00:43:03,306 --> 00:43:05,615 actually how much you had for breakfast. 1197 00:43:06,517 --> 00:43:08,709 Realistically, even the skinniest, 1198 00:43:08,943 --> 00:43:11,240 shortest chap with the whitest of teeth 1199 00:43:11,591 --> 00:43:13,959 will struggle to get past... 35? 1200 00:43:19,338 --> 00:43:21,576 There's something else I've just thought of as well. 1201 00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:24,728 I have to pay congestion charge in this 1202 00:43:24,848 --> 00:43:26,287 in this part of London, 1203 00:43:26,908 --> 00:43:28,607 but the camera crew in the 1204 00:43:28,727 --> 00:43:30,564 Lexus 4x4 don't, 1205 00:43:30,684 --> 00:43:31,888 because it's a "hybrid". 1206 00:43:32,008 --> 00:43:33,553 How fair is that? 1207 00:43:34,162 --> 00:43:36,541 It's not like I'm creating any pollution at all. 1208 00:43:38,732 --> 00:43:42,177 The Peel, then, is not only a handy way of getting TO work, 1209 00:43:42,851 --> 00:43:44,960 but it's also pretty practical 1210 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,507 when you get there. 1211 00:43:53,063 --> 00:43:55,981 Normally, the BBC make you 1212 00:43:57,445 --> 00:43:59,484 moor up in an underground car park, 1213 00:43:59,604 --> 00:44:01,082 but the bays are only big enough for 1214 00:44:01,202 --> 00:44:02,488 ethnic peace bicycles and 1215 00:44:02,608 --> 00:44:04,470 fairtrade G-Wizzes. 1216 00:44:05,548 --> 00:44:09,064 Because this is smaller than an ethnic peace bicycle, 1217 00:44:09,184 --> 00:44:11,349 I don't have to worry about parking 1218 00:44:12,161 --> 00:44:13,004 at all. 1219 00:44:18,934 --> 00:44:21,301 The great thing about a car this small 1220 00:44:21,421 --> 00:44:22,754 is that it's very light, 1221 00:44:23,211 --> 00:44:25,016 which means that when you get to work, 1222 00:44:25,136 --> 00:44:26,493 you just pick it up and 1223 00:44:26,727 --> 00:44:27,946 carry it inside. 1224 00:44:37,023 --> 00:44:37,702 Morning! 1225 00:44:37,822 --> 00:44:39,085 In the Top Gear office, 1226 00:44:39,205 --> 00:44:42,299 the team were keen to know more about the P50. 1227 00:44:42,419 --> 00:44:43,775 I give you the future, 1228 00:44:43,895 --> 00:44:45,439 young men and women! 1229 00:44:45,721 --> 00:44:46,693 The Peel P50. 1230 00:44:46,813 --> 00:44:48,662 I think it's 4.5 horsepower. 1231 00:44:48,942 --> 00:44:50,442 You know those Little Tykes cars 1232 00:44:51,181 --> 00:44:52,142 that all kids have got? 1233 00:44:52,262 --> 00:44:54,356 That's exactly the same - one door. 1234 00:44:55,212 --> 00:44:56,278 I have never seen 1235 00:44:56,398 --> 00:44:57,474 the Top Gear team 1236 00:44:57,594 --> 00:44:59,489 so enthusiastic about any car. 1237 00:44:59,609 --> 00:45:02,806 "Lads, I put a Koenigsegg down in the car park... Oh, right." 1238 00:45:02,926 --> 00:45:04,821 "I've got a new Ferrari there." 1239 00:45:04,941 --> 00:45:06,019 "Not interested." This... 1240 00:45:08,961 --> 00:45:11,492 Even John Humphrys dropped by for a look. 1241 00:45:12,195 --> 00:45:12,816 Hammond... 1242 00:45:13,074 --> 00:45:13,437 No... 1243 00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:15,359 Well, can't you just clean them? 1244 00:45:17,527 --> 00:45:19,180 Really, £4,000 to whiten them? 1245 00:45:19,766 --> 00:45:20,633 4,000 quid? 1246 00:45:21,582 --> 00:45:22,180 You've white...? 1247 00:45:23,668 --> 00:45:25,437 No, well, I'll stick with the yellow ones. OK. 1248 00:45:25,557 --> 00:45:26,059 Take care! 1249 00:45:26,434 --> 00:45:26,773 Bye. 1250 00:45:28,285 --> 00:45:29,609 Who's got the car? 1251 00:45:34,408 --> 00:45:36,049 That's fantastic! 1252 00:45:36,169 --> 00:45:37,514 Who's stolen the car? 1253 00:45:38,990 --> 00:45:41,088 God, the power under this bonnet! 1254 00:45:41,208 --> 00:45:43,080 It's impressive! 1255 00:45:47,347 --> 00:45:49,574 Ah, Clarkson, you've met your match here with me. 1256 00:45:52,562 --> 00:45:54,531 Please don't just steal our things. 1257 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:55,433 D'you mind? 1258 00:45:55,553 --> 00:45:57,144 Thanks very much. Jolly nice of you. 1259 00:46:01,268 --> 00:46:04,691 Soon, I was summoned to an important BBC meeting. 1260 00:46:04,914 --> 00:46:06,752 Most of the people going would be walking, 1261 00:46:06,872 --> 00:46:08,791 but I was running late, and decided 1262 00:46:08,911 --> 00:46:10,117 to use the car. 1263 00:46:19,277 --> 00:46:20,496 'Doors closing.' 1264 00:46:24,333 --> 00:46:25,739 'Fourth floor.' 1265 00:46:26,923 --> 00:46:29,560 Fiona Bruce is standing here, the newsreader. 1266 00:46:35,963 --> 00:46:37,135 'Ground floor.' 1267 00:46:37,255 --> 00:46:39,022 Sorry, Fiona, could you give me a push? 1268 00:46:39,549 --> 00:46:40,545 A push out? 1269 00:46:40,665 --> 00:46:43,076 Please, cos it's got no reverse gear, so... 1270 00:46:46,337 --> 00:46:47,099 Thank you! 1271 00:46:47,219 --> 00:46:48,400 Shall I leave you right there? 1272 00:46:48,657 --> 00:46:50,181 This is fine, thanks. 1273 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:52,945 She has got 1274 00:46:53,065 --> 00:46:54,353 quite a nice bottom. 1275 00:46:56,603 --> 00:46:57,950 I said that out loud, didn't I? 1276 00:47:01,091 --> 00:47:02,600 After a short drive, 1277 00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:05,368 I arrived at BBC Television Centre. 1278 00:47:09,540 --> 00:47:10,617 Unfortunately though, 1279 00:47:10,737 --> 00:47:14,251 this is the most complicated building in the world. 1280 00:47:29,510 --> 00:47:31,700 I've worked at the BBC for 20 years 1281 00:47:31,820 --> 00:47:33,799 and I still don't know where I'm going. 1282 00:47:34,138 --> 00:47:35,743 Tomorrow's World was cancelled, 1283 00:47:35,863 --> 00:47:38,861 not because the programme wasn't interesting any more, but simply because 1284 00:47:39,623 --> 00:47:41,662 Judith Hann was lost in here. 1285 00:47:41,932 --> 00:47:44,428 Remember John Noakes, Peter Purves from Blue Peter? 1286 00:47:44,548 --> 00:47:46,092 They're in here somewhere, lost... 1287 00:47:49,361 --> 00:47:51,051 Hello, can anyone help? 1288 00:47:53,090 --> 00:47:54,097 Thanks! 1289 00:47:54,777 --> 00:47:56,359 Which department's this? 1290 00:47:59,309 --> 00:48:00,927 I'm really lost now. 1291 00:48:03,434 --> 00:48:05,015 "...Talks with Government ministers about... 1292 00:48:05,135 --> 00:48:07,429 ... how to handle the number of claims that have resulted... 1293 00:48:07,549 --> 00:48:08,741 from last month's floods... 1294 00:48:08,861 --> 00:48:12,762 ... The total bill is estimated at about £1.5b... 1295 00:48:12,882 --> 00:48:14,299 ... Mark Simpson is here..." 1296 00:48:14,322 --> 00:48:15,060 Sorry! 1297 00:48:15,180 --> 00:48:16,522 Sorry, everyone! Sorry! 1298 00:48:17,237 --> 00:48:18,794 Eventually, though, I made it 1299 00:48:18,914 --> 00:48:21,186 to the top-level BBC seminar. 1300 00:48:23,049 --> 00:48:25,830 I believe we've already made significant inroads 1301 00:48:25,950 --> 00:48:28,397 into the implementation of an open and inclusive 1302 00:48:28,517 --> 00:48:29,337 policy 1303 00:48:29,457 --> 00:48:30,883 for the ethnocentrically 1304 00:48:31,003 --> 00:48:33,415 homogenous objectives of this department. 1305 00:48:33,652 --> 00:48:35,410 But I'd like to say that climate change 1306 00:48:35,530 --> 00:48:37,637 is the biggest threat EVER 1307 00:48:37,757 --> 00:48:39,547 to face the peoples of this world. 1308 00:48:39,887 --> 00:48:42,254 And minimising our carbon footprint 1309 00:48:42,605 --> 00:48:44,293 through the functional usage 1310 00:48:44,413 --> 00:48:46,414 is a key responsibility of 1311 00:48:46,534 --> 00:48:49,226 anyone who uses a photocopier. 1312 00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,390 I hope that in this session we can discuss 1313 00:48:52,510 --> 00:48:53,164 and address... 1314 00:48:53,284 --> 00:48:55,367 Sadly the meeting went on for so long, 1315 00:48:55,487 --> 00:48:57,195 that there was no time left in the day 1316 00:48:57,315 --> 00:48:59,281 for any programme-making. 1317 00:48:59,597 --> 00:49:01,250 ..for the ethnocentrically... 1318 00:49:01,370 --> 00:49:02,960 So I headed home. 1319 00:49:04,686 --> 00:49:06,255 I really do think that today 1320 00:49:06,375 --> 00:49:07,850 I have seen the future. 1321 00:49:07,970 --> 00:49:08,823 And it comes 1322 00:49:09,175 --> 00:49:10,921 from 1963. 1323 00:49:11,601 --> 00:49:13,345 This Peel P50 really is 1324 00:49:13,465 --> 00:49:14,894 absolutely brilliant. 1325 00:49:15,014 --> 00:49:17,155 If it had a reverse gear, 1326 00:49:17,601 --> 00:49:19,382 I would describe it as the absolute 1327 00:49:19,502 --> 00:49:21,347 ultimate, really, of... 1328 00:49:21,467 --> 00:49:22,906 personal mobility. 1329 00:49:25,226 --> 00:49:26,925 That's Dermot Murnaghan! Oi! 1330 00:49:27,535 --> 00:49:28,121 It is! 1331 00:49:28,449 --> 00:49:29,527 Murnaghan! 1332 00:49:29,647 --> 00:49:30,734 Murnaghan! 1333 00:49:30,854 --> 00:49:32,750 Oh! Thanks! 1334 00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:35,902 Thanks for that! Sorry... 1335 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:47,205 We really have a very big problem 1336 00:49:47,755 --> 00:49:49,654 at the BBC with newsreaders. 1337 00:49:49,774 --> 00:49:52,383 Just the other day we were in the canteen, Paxman came through 1338 00:49:52,503 --> 00:49:53,943 on a Harley Davidson. 1339 00:49:55,075 --> 00:49:56,094 They're out of control! 1340 00:49:56,214 --> 00:49:58,707 Is this the best car we've ever had on Top Gear? 1341 00:49:58,968 --> 00:49:59,542 Yes! 1342 00:49:59,776 --> 00:50:01,417 Honestly, I think it's... 1343 00:50:01,537 --> 00:50:02,952 genuinely astonishing! 1344 00:50:03,210 --> 00:50:04,780 But I think I can now go 1345 00:50:04,900 --> 00:50:05,776 one better! 1346 00:50:05,896 --> 00:50:07,544 Because, ladies and gentlemen, 1347 00:50:07,848 --> 00:50:09,055 I'm able to reveal 1348 00:50:09,175 --> 00:50:11,352 there is a sports version of this car! 1349 00:50:12,792 --> 00:50:14,106 Who'd like to see it? 1350 00:50:15,111 --> 00:50:16,022 Here we go! 1351 00:50:16,142 --> 00:50:17,571 Look at that! 1352 00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:19,383 It's just... 1353 00:50:19,503 --> 00:50:19,984 staggering! 1354 00:50:20,104 --> 00:50:21,386 It's "The Jetsons"... 1355 00:50:23,269 --> 00:50:25,226 I just want one of those. That is... 1356 00:50:25,346 --> 00:50:26,562 That would be my perfect 1357 00:50:26,682 --> 00:50:27,874 two-car garage. 1358 00:50:29,573 --> 00:50:30,698 Yeah... Now, 1359 00:50:30,818 --> 00:50:31,683 a year ago, 1360 00:50:31,803 --> 00:50:33,338 Jeremy raced James and me 1361 00:50:33,362 --> 00:50:34,170 from Italy 1362 00:50:34,290 --> 00:50:34,873 to London. 1363 00:50:35,166 --> 00:50:37,405 James and I in his ridiculous aeroplane, 1364 00:50:37,525 --> 00:50:39,303 and Jeremy in a Bugatti Veyron. 1365 00:50:39,725 --> 00:50:40,944 And, annoyingly, 1366 00:50:41,342 --> 00:50:41,987 he won. 1367 00:50:42,455 --> 00:50:45,654 Then we heard from a bunch of aeroplane enthusiasts 1368 00:50:45,947 --> 00:50:47,072 called the RAF. 1369 00:50:47,494 --> 00:50:49,381 They said, "Why don't you come up to our place 1370 00:50:49,501 --> 00:50:51,230 and we've got a plane "that'll give your car 1371 00:50:51,350 --> 00:50:52,603 a run for its money." 1372 00:50:52,723 --> 00:50:53,791 And, well... 1373 00:50:53,911 --> 00:50:56,451 since I'm the only one who hasn't yet driven the Bugatti Veyron, 1374 00:50:56,709 --> 00:50:57,822 I took up the challenge. 1375 00:51:12,919 --> 00:51:14,700 Yes, the 1,000 horsepower legend 1376 00:51:14,712 --> 00:51:15,778 is back 1377 00:51:15,898 --> 00:51:18,028 and, if I'm honest, I'm a bit nervous. 1378 00:51:19,247 --> 00:51:20,935 Not because of the car itself, 1379 00:51:21,055 --> 00:51:22,247 but because of the burden 1380 00:51:22,367 --> 00:51:24,664 that now rests on my shoulders. 1381 00:51:25,285 --> 00:51:26,938 When Jeremy drove the Veyron, 1382 00:51:27,594 --> 00:51:28,766 all he had to beat 1383 00:51:28,886 --> 00:51:31,884 was an incompetent James in a useless little aeroplane. 1384 00:51:33,759 --> 00:51:36,654 Then when James went to Germany and maxed it, 1385 00:51:36,774 --> 00:51:38,602 the car didn't even break sweat. 1386 00:51:39,762 --> 00:51:40,805 But this time, 1387 00:51:41,192 --> 00:51:43,911 the Veyron's honour really is at stake 1388 00:51:44,356 --> 00:51:45,598 because never before 1389 00:51:45,868 --> 00:51:48,347 has it gone up against something like this. 1390 00:51:52,073 --> 00:51:53,011 The most modern, 1391 00:51:53,362 --> 00:51:55,612 the most hi-tech strike fighter 1392 00:51:55,732 --> 00:51:56,718 on the planet. 1393 00:51:57,140 --> 00:51:58,875 The Eurofighter Typhoon. 1394 00:52:03,023 --> 00:52:03,912 And for once, 1395 00:52:04,032 --> 00:52:05,472 when it comes to figures, 1396 00:52:05,695 --> 00:52:09,633 the Bugatti really is well and truly top-trumped. 1397 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:14,636 Its twin engines develop 20,000lb of thrust each, 1398 00:52:15,117 --> 00:52:18,117 punching the Eurofighter up to 65,000ft 1399 00:52:18,375 --> 00:52:19,617 and a top speed 1400 00:52:19,737 --> 00:52:22,899 of over 1,500mph. 1401 00:52:24,727 --> 00:52:26,385 This machine is the cutting edge 1402 00:52:26,505 --> 00:52:27,839 of what a plane can do. 1403 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:34,522 It's actually designed to be 1404 00:52:34,642 --> 00:52:36,551 aerodynamically unstable 1405 00:52:36,671 --> 00:52:38,431 to make it as agile as possible 1406 00:52:38,551 --> 00:52:39,788 in a dogfight. 1407 00:52:42,753 --> 00:52:45,554 So it needs 70 computers to keep it in the air, 1408 00:52:45,823 --> 00:52:46,913 and if they fail, 1409 00:52:47,300 --> 00:52:49,597 it would simply fall out of the sky. 1410 00:52:51,976 --> 00:52:53,183 It's a kind of a mix 1411 00:52:53,303 --> 00:52:54,648 of science fiction 1412 00:52:54,768 --> 00:52:56,054 and brute strength. 1413 00:52:56,312 --> 00:52:59,581 These wings, for example, have to be able to take the stresses and strains 1414 00:52:59,921 --> 00:53:01,117 of all those extreme, 1415 00:53:01,237 --> 00:53:02,371 high-speed manoeuvres. 1416 00:53:02,842 --> 00:53:04,846 They might look slim and dainty, 1417 00:53:05,175 --> 00:53:06,745 but each one can take the weight 1418 00:53:06,865 --> 00:53:08,796 of 35 Volkswagen Golfs. 1419 00:53:09,874 --> 00:53:12,414 All in all, a handy bit of kit, 1420 00:53:12,660 --> 00:53:13,586 as you'd expect, 1421 00:53:13,706 --> 00:53:15,742 at £67m a pop. 1422 00:53:18,484 --> 00:53:21,250 Faced with the clear and present danger of the Eurofighter, 1423 00:53:21,472 --> 00:53:24,590 the Bugatti Veyron really is the car world's best shot 1424 00:53:24,710 --> 00:53:26,054 at clinging to some honour. 1425 00:53:28,281 --> 00:53:30,845 And no-one knows what the outcome will be. 1426 00:53:32,954 --> 00:53:35,239 In fact, Bugatti's so concerned, 1427 00:53:35,532 --> 00:53:37,102 they've sent over not one, 1428 00:53:37,829 --> 00:53:39,434 but two Veyrons. 1429 00:53:39,786 --> 00:53:41,661 Maybe they're gonna tie them together or something. 1430 00:53:46,009 --> 00:53:47,778 The shoot-out will take place here: 1431 00:53:47,898 --> 00:53:49,443 on the main runway 1432 00:53:49,563 --> 00:53:51,681 at RAF Coningsby in Lincolnshire. 1433 00:53:54,447 --> 00:53:55,349 And here's the challenge: 1434 00:53:55,469 --> 00:53:58,127 it's a horizontal versus vertical drag race 1435 00:53:58,247 --> 00:53:59,545 over two miles. 1436 00:53:59,897 --> 00:54:01,443 Here's the start-finish line 1437 00:54:01,563 --> 00:54:03,846 and the car and the plane. 1438 00:54:04,830 --> 00:54:07,139 Yeah, It's difficult to get hold of models of a Veyron and a 1439 00:54:07,162 --> 00:54:08,229 Eurofighter. 1440 00:54:08,349 --> 00:54:10,033 Both start from here, the car will race 1441 00:54:10,153 --> 00:54:11,463 down the runway for a mile, 1442 00:54:11,583 --> 00:54:13,139 when it reaches the mile marker, 1443 00:54:13,259 --> 00:54:14,709 turn, as quickly as possible, 1444 00:54:14,970 --> 00:54:16,400 and then race back down, 1445 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:17,677 over the same mile, 1446 00:54:17,797 --> 00:54:19,728 to cross the start-finish line here. 1447 00:54:20,044 --> 00:54:20,689 Meanwhile, 1448 00:54:20,911 --> 00:54:22,095 the plane will set off, 1449 00:54:22,215 --> 00:54:24,138 and take off as quickly as possible, 1450 00:54:24,258 --> 00:54:25,322 and cover a mile... 1451 00:54:25,650 --> 00:54:26,763 vertically. 1452 00:54:27,033 --> 00:54:27,853 When it's done the mile, 1453 00:54:27,973 --> 00:54:29,669 it turns and swoops 1454 00:54:29,916 --> 00:54:31,474 back down the same mile 1455 00:54:31,594 --> 00:54:33,364 to cross the start-finish line. 1456 00:54:33,867 --> 00:54:37,512 Or to crash into a £1m supercar it didn't expect to see 1457 00:54:37,805 --> 00:54:39,340 and YouTube has a field day. 1458 00:54:39,460 --> 00:54:41,672 Otherwise, last one to finish is a vegetarian. 1459 00:54:41,792 --> 00:54:42,902 Simple as that. 1460 00:54:45,152 --> 00:54:48,198 Now, you might think the plane is going to walk it. 1461 00:54:49,755 --> 00:54:51,536 But don't be so sure. 1462 00:54:52,766 --> 00:54:54,325 The car should have the edge 1463 00:54:54,445 --> 00:54:55,438 off the line. 1464 00:54:55,558 --> 00:54:59,017 It will do nought to 100 in 5.7 seconds, for God's sake. 1465 00:55:02,674 --> 00:55:04,642 And when it gets to these yellow dots, 1466 00:55:04,762 --> 00:55:07,537 which mark the mile point where it has to turn around, 1467 00:55:07,865 --> 00:55:09,858 the Veyron has another advantage. 1468 00:55:10,842 --> 00:55:11,486 Down here, 1469 00:55:11,606 --> 00:55:13,771 its awesome brakes should come into play. 1470 00:55:15,318 --> 00:55:17,005 And then there's the air brake as well, 1471 00:55:17,125 --> 00:55:19,478 which on its own generates the same stopping power 1472 00:55:19,598 --> 00:55:21,341 as you'd get in a normal hatchback. 1473 00:55:25,738 --> 00:55:27,461 A straight line is a straight line. 1474 00:55:27,707 --> 00:55:29,957 So the car does what it does there. 1475 00:55:31,329 --> 00:55:32,935 But up here, 1476 00:55:33,779 --> 00:55:34,915 I've got to brake 1477 00:55:35,220 --> 00:55:36,673 as late as possible, 1478 00:55:36,793 --> 00:55:39,289 and lose as little time as possible making the turn, 1479 00:55:39,781 --> 00:55:41,094 before the return mile. 1480 00:55:41,656 --> 00:55:42,734 so I reckon 1481 00:55:43,027 --> 00:55:44,094 it'll be won or lost 1482 00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:45,898 here at this end. 1483 00:56:20,307 --> 00:56:21,607 Traction control off, 1484 00:56:21,854 --> 00:56:23,072 gearbox to manual, 1485 00:56:23,192 --> 00:56:24,268 launch control, 1486 00:56:24,388 --> 00:56:25,674 left foot on brake, 1487 00:56:25,990 --> 00:56:28,018 give it the full beans on the throttle... 1488 00:56:29,318 --> 00:56:30,057 This is it. 1489 00:56:31,672 --> 00:56:33,336 'Stand by one, give me 20 seconds.' 1490 00:56:37,906 --> 00:56:39,640 As drag races go, you will agree, 1491 00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:41,868 this is quite a good one. 1492 00:57:01,776 --> 00:57:02,748 We are away! 1493 00:57:06,250 --> 00:57:07,363 We're neck and neck! 1494 00:57:08,336 --> 00:57:09,672 I'm getting away! 1495 00:57:12,206 --> 00:57:14,207 I can't believe I'm looking in... 1496 00:57:14,327 --> 00:57:15,180 Wow!! 1497 00:57:16,410 --> 00:57:18,074 I can feel the wash from the jet! 1498 00:57:19,260 --> 00:57:20,702 And there it goes! 1499 00:57:26,854 --> 00:57:30,019 So I'm fighting for the Germans in a battle against the RAF! 1500 00:57:34,367 --> 00:57:36,254 If you're watching thinking, "This is cool"... 1501 00:57:36,374 --> 00:57:37,390 It is. 1502 00:57:39,749 --> 00:57:43,007 After just 18 seconds I was doing 188mph 1503 00:57:43,127 --> 00:57:45,702 and getting ready to brake for the mile turn. 1504 00:57:48,951 --> 00:57:50,580 That's as late as I dare. 1505 00:57:55,289 --> 00:57:56,555 This is where it's won or lost. 1506 00:58:06,517 --> 00:58:07,607 I'm on the return mile now. 1507 00:58:09,927 --> 00:58:12,177 This is the best race in history! 1508 00:58:15,857 --> 00:58:18,704 If I mess this up, I may as well get a paper out. 1509 00:58:20,572 --> 00:58:23,760 I was doing 196mph but was it enough? 1510 00:58:26,244 --> 00:58:28,635 I must still be ahead, I can't see the plane. 1511 00:58:32,947 --> 00:58:34,412 NO-O-O-O-O!!! 1512 00:58:35,338 --> 00:58:36,205 Nooo! 1513 00:58:43,236 --> 00:58:45,486 I suspect I may get some abuse for this. 1514 00:59:09,003 --> 00:59:10,316 You failed! 1515 00:59:11,232 --> 00:59:13,716 You are a vegetarian and you failed 1516 00:59:13,836 --> 00:59:15,308 and you're useless. 1517 00:59:15,577 --> 00:59:16,152 Yes... 1518 00:59:16,432 --> 00:59:18,589 Gotta admit though, it IS quite a car. 1519 00:59:18,709 --> 00:59:20,182 Oh, it is staggering, but... 1520 00:59:20,302 --> 00:59:21,495 what a plane! 1521 00:59:21,615 --> 00:59:23,604 And here is the guy who flew it: 1522 00:59:23,944 --> 00:59:25,737 Squadron Leader Jim Walls. 1523 00:59:31,409 --> 00:59:32,780 Must have been terrifying. 1524 00:59:32,900 --> 00:59:33,799 Well, it was, because... 1525 00:59:33,919 --> 00:59:35,035 Not you, him! 1526 00:59:35,973 --> 00:59:37,496 Had to wake up that morning, "What am I doing today?" 1527 00:59:37,616 --> 00:59:41,469 "Oh, Richard Hammond's coming, he's driving a fast car in a straight line on a runway in the North!" 1528 00:59:43,078 --> 00:59:45,855 He's not gonna go, "Can I do nuclear war instead?" 1529 00:59:46,957 --> 00:59:48,140 So, well done, mate, fantastic. 1530 00:59:48,260 --> 00:59:50,147 Next week we are in Africa, 1531 00:59:50,267 --> 00:59:51,237 for a Top Gear special. 1532 00:59:51,357 --> 00:59:54,166 The three of us are trying to drive across the spine of the continent 1533 00:59:54,518 --> 00:59:57,928 in three ordinary, used, 2WD road cars. 1534 00:59:58,162 --> 00:59:59,826 It is worth watching, trust me. 1535 00:59:59,946 --> 01:00:00,603 See you then, 1536 01:00:00,723 --> 01:00:01,551 Good night!