1 00:00:13,199 --> 00:00:16,999 Tonight - Richard spins off the track. Twice! 2 00:00:16,999 --> 00:00:18,599 Agh! 3 00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:20,399 Jay Kay tries to get to number one. 4 00:00:20,399 --> 00:00:22,719 And Germany or Britain - which is best? 5 00:00:31,639 --> 00:00:33,239 Thank you, hello. 6 00:00:33,239 --> 00:00:34,760 Hello and welcome. 7 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:36,560 Thanks very much. 8 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,759 Now... 9 00:00:38,759 --> 00:00:41,240 now, after our... 10 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:45,880 our recent trip to Japan, where I raced the Bullet Train, 11 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:51,080 I stayed on for an extra day to drive the Nissan GT-R around the track. 12 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,479 James, on the other hand, decided to stay on for a little while 13 00:00:54,479 --> 00:01:00,280 as he wanted to drive a car that he claimed would be more relevant to the average British motorist 14 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,799 than a jumped up £50,000 Datsun. 15 00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:12,640 Now, I'm fairly confident you won't have seen one of these before. 16 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,400 Are you ready? 17 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,840 It's called the Orochi. 18 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,640 It's looks are based on a fish, a snake and Pamela Anderson's mouth. 19 00:01:30,399 --> 00:01:32,599 I rather like it. 20 00:01:32,599 --> 00:01:37,240 It costs £44,000. It's made by a company called Mitsuoka. 21 00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:44,039 You've probably never heard of them either, but they are a proper Japanese car maker. 22 00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:47,080 In fact, they're the tenth biggest car maker in the country, 23 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:52,040 after Toyota, Nissan, Honda and six others. 24 00:01:57,239 --> 00:02:02,800 Mitsuoka makes the chassis, the body and the interior all by itself, 25 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,280 but the engine, a 3.3 litre V6, comes from Toyota. 26 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,400 So, it looks like a sports car, but is it any good as one? 27 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:23,639 Well, it isn't very fast, it doesn't make much noise and the ride is surprisingly comfortable. 28 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:27,599 By which I mean the ride is rather excellent for a supercar, 29 00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:30,280 so, obviously, I think it suits me rather well. 30 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:34,840 Although, Hammond and Clarkson might like to continue to shop around. 31 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,159 But Mitsuoka makes another car, which, on paper, is even more up my street. 32 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:49,199 Here it is, and it's called the Galue. 33 00:02:49,199 --> 00:02:52,160 That foremost social commentator, Alan Partridge, 34 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,799 once said that the Lexus is Japan's Mercedes Benz. 35 00:02:55,799 --> 00:03:00,839 In which case, the Mitsuoka Galue could be - but this is only a hunch - 36 00:03:00,839 --> 00:03:03,119 Japan's Rolls Royce. 37 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:11,800 But at a nice, un-Rolls-Royce-ish price, because it cost an agreeable £32,000. 38 00:03:13,439 --> 00:03:19,119 But looking like a Rolls-Royce is one thing - feeling like a Rolls-Royce is completely different. 39 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:27,119 So, to find out whether it does or not, the producers have arranged for me to do a spot of VIP chauffeuring. 40 00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:29,400 Not him. 41 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,319 Them. 42 00:03:32,319 --> 00:03:37,520 Yes, the local sumo wrestler and his manager need taking to a tournament. 43 00:03:39,239 --> 00:03:40,400 Konichiwa. 44 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,199 That's exhausted my Japanese. 45 00:03:45,199 --> 00:03:49,559 Right, back to the Japanese Rolls-Royce. 46 00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:57,039 Inside the Galue, Mitsuoka has recreated the ambience of a proper, old school, British luxury car. 47 00:03:57,039 --> 00:04:01,119 There's some wood. Ish. Plush leather seats. 48 00:04:01,119 --> 00:04:07,879 But look at this - this clock is exactly, roughly like the one on the new Rolls-Royce Phantom. 49 00:04:07,879 --> 00:04:12,880 It's like one of those fake expensive watches you get in Thailand. 50 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,999 Only a real expert can tell the difference. 51 00:04:14,999 --> 00:04:20,000 I am a Rolls-Royce expert, and I was completely taken in. 52 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,800 Actually, I didn't mean that. What I meant to say was, it's an utterly shameless rip-off, 53 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,400 and I can't believe they're getting away with it. 54 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,760 So, what about the performance from the 3.5 litre V6? 55 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,760 Is that the genuine article? 56 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,120 A Rolls-Royce must be able to whoosh away from a stand still. 57 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:43,040 It can go quite quickly, but it must never feel urgent, it must swell very gently, 58 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,839 it must be an orchestral performance. 59 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,040 Which that isn't. Sorry. 60 00:04:51,119 --> 00:04:53,399 Next, handling. 61 00:04:53,399 --> 00:04:59,240 A Rolls-Royce should never allow its driver to corner too vigorously because that would be bad form. 62 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,799 It must encourage you to rein things back. 63 00:05:03,959 --> 00:05:08,960 Clearly, it's not quite right in that respect. Very sorry. Very sorry. 64 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:14,520 I cracked on with the job of delivering my VIPs. 65 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:15,519 Happy? 66 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,840 Very close to the destination. 67 00:05:25,319 --> 00:05:28,599 THEY SPEAK IN JAPANESE 68 00:05:28,599 --> 00:05:31,640 What? Is that it? 69 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,320 Oh. 70 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,559 MAN ON PA SPEAKS IN JAPANESE 71 00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:49,840 I think they were completely fooled. 72 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,199 As some of you may have found out last week, I have got an old Rolls, 73 00:05:59,199 --> 00:06:02,879 and let me tell you, the Galue isn't even on the same planet. 74 00:06:02,879 --> 00:06:06,919 But you know what, this car does make me smile. 75 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,720 It's not taking itself too seriously. 76 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:16,520 It's just a bit of fun. It's a bit like one of those tribute bands. 77 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:20,879 Bjorn Again, Let's Zep, the Strolling Bones. 78 00:06:20,879 --> 00:06:25,199 Like those bands, it knows it's not the real thing, 79 00:06:25,199 --> 00:06:30,320 but, more importantly, it knows you know it's not the real thing. 80 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,319 evening you're still just as drunk, 81 00:06:34,319 --> 00:06:37,199 and you've still had a great time, but it only cost you a fiver. 82 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,919 Is that car going to be sold in the UK? 83 00:06:49,919 --> 00:06:52,199 No. Good. Richard? 84 00:06:52,199 --> 00:06:57,879 Yes. KTM are an Austrian bike manufacturer, and they make things like this, the Duke, and it's great. 85 00:06:57,879 --> 00:07:00,759 But now they've decided to have a go at a car, and here it is. 86 00:07:00,759 --> 00:07:02,720 It's called the Crossbow. 87 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,719 The body's made of plastic panels, just like it is on the bike. 88 00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:09,239 You can see the innards, like you can on the bike. 89 00:07:09,239 --> 00:07:12,600 And you have to wear a crash helmet to drive it, like you do on the bike. 90 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,720 It really is a stripped out track car. 91 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,920 All you get is a seat, a steering wheel 92 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:22,160 and a two-litre turbo-charged Audi engine that's enough to take it to 60 miles an hour in four seconds. 93 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,000 Apparently, KTM say it is quite a handful, 94 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,959 and as a result they won't sell it to drivers under 24 years old. 95 00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:31,520 Just one thing - Lewis Hamilton. 96 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,359 He's 23! 97 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:42,199 The thing about that is it costs £43,000, which seems like a lot for a motorcycle with two extra wheels. 98 00:07:42,199 --> 00:07:46,360 No, it isn't. Well, it is. You could drive that thing through - what's it's called? 99 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:51,999 Oxbow? - you could drive that through a light shower and you could come out on the other side 100 00:07:51,999 --> 00:07:55,519 without your internal organs being transplanted into someone else. 101 00:07:55,519 --> 00:08:02,320 You don't get bikes. You two live in fear that you'll go through the pearly gates with your leathers on, 102 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:07,839 knowing full well that I'm back on Earth, as a car driver, 103 00:08:07,839 --> 00:08:09,680 with your liver. 104 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:15,080 And don't think I'm going to do anything useful with it because I'm just going to make it into a hat. 105 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,719 I actually carry a card that says, 106 00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:23,480 "I do not wish to help Jeremy Clarkson be amusing in the event of my death." 107 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:30,520 Fair enough. Every year, the Scouts make a series of awards, which are relevant to them. 108 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,239 I've got the list here. They've just announced this year's winners. 109 00:08:33,239 --> 00:08:37,759 Previous winners have included Charlie Boorman and Ewan MacGregor. They won best navigation award. 110 00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:39,839 Jamie Oliver won the healthy eating award. 111 00:08:39,839 --> 00:08:46,000 Yeah. Now, Ray Mears has not won the award for services of wearing shorts when you're a grown man. 112 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:52,639 However, their award, this year, for services to instruction 113 00:08:52,639 --> 00:08:55,040 has gone...to the Stig. 114 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:08,279 However, there's a problem, a really big problem. They came down earlier to give him his badge, 115 00:09:08,279 --> 00:09:10,879 and he attacked them. 116 00:09:10,879 --> 00:09:14,000 We've got some footage of it here, seriously. 117 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,240 Look. 118 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,960 He's trying to stamp on his badge, he hates it. 119 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:24,160 And they took him down. They actually took the Stig down, two Scouts. 120 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:34,039 It's awkward, that. It turns out he's terrified of Scouts. 121 00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:40,079 Now, bad news - this week, James popped to see me at my local pub, 122 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:45,640 parked his motorcycle, outside, not illegally... 123 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:51,519 No, very considerately. That's right, it was illegally parked, but not inconsiderate. Exactly. 124 00:09:51,519 --> 00:09:55,480 Fined £120. 120 quid. 125 00:09:55,480 --> 00:10:01,559 Now, here's the thing, all right - both of us, in the not too distant past, have had televisions stolen. 126 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:06,679 So how come they've got the man power to find your slightly illegally parked motorcycle 127 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:09,080 when they say that can't find our televisions? 128 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:13,599 I don't understand it. I rang up the woman on the parking ticket hotline enquiry hotline 129 00:10:13,599 --> 00:10:18,480 and I said to her, "Have you found my television?" She had no idea what I was talking about. 130 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:23,039 I think that if you've had something stolen in your life... 131 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,640 How many people here have had something stolen? The lawnmower... 132 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,479 Nearly everybody. 133 00:10:27,479 --> 00:10:31,559 ..it should be illegal for the police to do you for a trivial motoring offence 134 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:34,679 until they've returned whatever it is you've had stolen! Yes! 135 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:36,639 Does anybody here think...? 136 00:10:36,639 --> 00:10:38,399 APPLAUSE 137 00:10:40,319 --> 00:10:42,399 Seriously... 138 00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:47,999 if you're watching this, Mr Brown, that's 100% of British people agree with me. 139 00:10:47,999 --> 00:10:53,279 Now, hey, TVR... You know it was bought by a Russian business boy, a few years ago? 140 00:10:53,279 --> 00:10:56,039 Actually it was bought by his father as a sort of play set for him, 141 00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:59,679 and he crashed it into a hillside and now TVR's gone. Very sad. 142 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:03,880 However, turns out he still owns the intellectual property rights, 143 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,360 and he still owns the moulds, and he says he's going to bring TVR back. 144 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:12,640 We've actually got a picture of him, testing these new models with his friends. 145 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,360 He said he was going to announce which model would come back first, 146 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:20,119 but then his mum said he had to come inside for his tea. 147 00:11:20,119 --> 00:11:22,280 Hey. Great news. What? 148 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:26,119 I've been sent more information on the Dacia Sandero. 149 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,880 Excellent! 150 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,040 Excellent. Now, you know the new Citroen Berlingo? 151 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,879 This is a car we like very much. 152 00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:38,240 It costs less than £11,000, and for that you get a big, spacious car, 153 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,480 with the best ride of any car under a Rolls-Royce. 154 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:45,839 I've been thinking, how do they do a car like that for less than 11 grand? 155 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,040 So I went on the internet and I found this. 156 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,839 Yep. 157 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,679 Afterwards, OK, I found this - it's the Citroen website. 158 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:09,839 You know how they list what a car comes with as standard? 159 00:12:09,839 --> 00:12:15,839 You can tell when a car firm is desperate when they've got "laminated front wind screen". 160 00:12:15,839 --> 00:12:19,120 Wow! As opposed to what? A sheet of glass nicked from a greenhouse? 161 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,120 It gets better. It's got a "single front passenger seat". 162 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:27,400 Huh? And "manually adjustable door mirrors". 163 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:32,080 As opposed to what? The only alternative is electrical, isn't it? 164 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:37,439 That's just saying it's something it hasn't got. It hasn't got electrical door mirrors, no alloy wheels... 165 00:12:37,439 --> 00:12:43,120 It's a very good car, so long as you want something that's equipped like a Romanian jail. 166 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:48,479 I've got a question. What? What if this turns out to be really good? Well, it won't. 167 00:12:48,479 --> 00:12:51,640 No, but what if it does? Well, it won't, will it? 168 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:55,679 It's the new Chevy Camaro. And they're really thought about it. It looks brilliant. 169 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:59,840 It's got a 6.2 litre V8, and they've given it independent suspension all round. 170 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,879 Wooooow! 171 00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:08,240 Independent?! So they've looked at a car and thought, "It's got four separate wheels. 172 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:14,200 "What if we treated them all sort of separate?" Like they've been doing in Europe for 100 years? 173 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,840 I still think what if that turns out to be good?! We don't know yet! 174 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:23,199 Richard, the Americans are good at herding bison. The end. 175 00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:28,199 I still maintain it might turn out to be good, then we'll all want one. What is this underneath? 176 00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:30,760 It's a Vauxhall VXR, 177 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,999 so what the Americans have done is they've gone, "We need some sophistication here - 178 00:13:34,999 --> 00:13:37,240 "we'll call the Australians." 179 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:43,240 That is like saying, "I want some style for my wedding, I'll get seven crates of lager." 180 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,879 You're the sort of person I could show you a picture of Paris Hilton 181 00:13:46,879 --> 00:13:50,159 and you'd say, "What if she turns out to be intelligent?" 182 00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:53,000 But what if she did?! What if she did?! 183 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,079 That's enough news. 184 00:13:55,079 --> 00:13:57,040 Now, Mazda. 185 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:01,880 Over the years, they've built up a fearsome reputation for making very sensible small cars 186 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:06,160 and the worst television commercials in all of human history. 187 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,760 This, however, is their latest creation. 188 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:14,720 Plainly, they wanted to give it a name which conjured up an image of aggression and anger, 189 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,999 but the job of naming it was given to somebody from Birmingham, 190 00:14:17,999 --> 00:14:21,640 so it's ended up being called the Furai. 191 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:28,479 The chassis is from an American Le Mans racer, which is the same as a European Le Mans racer, only fatter. 192 00:14:28,479 --> 00:14:33,959 Body - that was clearly designed by someone with a Batman fixation. 193 00:14:33,959 --> 00:14:38,559 I think it looks brilliant - although if you take it to a film premiere, 194 00:14:38,559 --> 00:14:41,800 it'll probably take a swing at its sister. 195 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,120 Allegedly, of course. 196 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:49,000 The engine, Wankel, 1.9 litre, 460 brake horsepower, 197 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,400 2.6 miles to the gallon. 198 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:58,200 And, annoyingly, broken. Which means we can't put it round our test track. 199 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:03,239 Instead, I'm going to answer a question that a viewer has asked. I have their letter here. 200 00:15:03,239 --> 00:15:05,600 It says, "Dear so called Top Gear, 201 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:11,120 " I'm aware that there are many elegant and dramatic supercars that I could buy..." 202 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:15,280 Things like these. "..but as I'm the victim of a botched eye operation, 203 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:19,079 "what I want is a supercar that is catastrophically ugly. 204 00:15:19,079 --> 00:15:22,559 "Can you help?" Yes, I think I can. 205 00:15:24,599 --> 00:15:26,999 This could be the answer to your problems. 206 00:15:26,999 --> 00:15:33,200 It's a new supercar from Germany - and, well, it's not exactly a looker. 207 00:15:34,799 --> 00:15:36,639 Let me put it this way. 208 00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:38,320 When Jeremy did the Alfa 8C... 209 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:45,520 ..the camera crew found there wasn't a single angle that didn't make the car look brilliant. 210 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,560 This is the exact opposite. 211 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,400 No. No. 212 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,240 Really, no. 213 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,399 And then there's the problem of the name. 214 00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:06,879 Does it have one of those sexy ones, like all the sexiest cars have - Vanquish, Viper, Raptor? 215 00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:10,640 No. It's called a Gumpert. 216 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:16,040 So, it's got looks only a mother could love and a name like a Northern comedian. 217 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:22,600 And for the privilege of driving it, you'll need £250,000. 218 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,600 This does beg the question, what do you get for your money? 219 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:30,800 Certainly, you're not buying a wondrous Zonda-esque interior. 220 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:38,960 It's just a random collection of bits from Audi. 221 00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:46,040 Well, yes, but don't go looking for night-vision or a bathroom. 222 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:50,759 And this, the rear-view camera, doesn't count. 223 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,200 That's a necessity. There's no back window. 224 00:16:55,359 --> 00:17:00,359 Options on the Gumpert are things like this - the traction control. 225 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:07,599 Now, lots of cars have traction control, but the Gumpert's is really quite anorakey. 226 00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:12,759 It's not a button, it's a knob. You can adjust it so you can be precise. So, Hammerhead coming up. 227 00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:14,319 I know this corner. 228 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:16,760 17%, I think. 229 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,720 Yeah, that... 230 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,280 But worry not. 231 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,960 If that doesn't work out, there are whole load of other things you can adjust. 232 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:36,600 You can change the camber, the ride height, the spring tension, 233 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,359 the damper, bump and rebound and the anti-roll bar. 234 00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:43,120 Oh, yeah! 235 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:48,400 There you are, Monte Carlo, Claudia Schiffer, in your supercar - "Please can we go to the party now?" 236 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,920 "No, hold on. A lot of corners. I'm gonna dial in some extra camber." 237 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,599 With the camber adjusted, I went for... 238 00:17:57,599 --> 00:17:59,039 Oh, bugger. 239 00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:06,320 I think some of those settings are not an option. Just leave them alone! 240 00:18:08,639 --> 00:18:13,799 I've had this experience with one of my bikes. All you ever do is make things worse. 241 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:20,519 There is one option this car doesn't have, and it's one I quite like. 242 00:18:20,519 --> 00:18:23,440 The option to move your seat backwards and forwards. 243 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:29,039 That's because the Gumpert people got fed up with drivers moving their seats around 244 00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:31,679 and messing up their perfect weight distribution. 245 00:18:34,719 --> 00:18:40,760 So, minging looks, seats you can't move and gizmos only Lewis Hamilton can make sense of. 246 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:45,599 I think you're getting the picture by now that this is no Riviera cruiser. 247 00:18:45,599 --> 00:18:52,120 Their fastest version, the Apollo Race, has 800 brake horsepower, but if you've passed your driving test, 248 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:58,960 they do do what they call an entry-level version, 650 brake horsepower. This is the mid-range. 249 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:04,079 I suppose they'd call it the Popular Plus - 700 brake horsepower. 250 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,879 And this is where it all starts to come good 251 00:19:08,879 --> 00:19:12,599 because whichever Gumpert you choose, it's going to be fast. 252 00:19:20,479 --> 00:19:21,680 Ye gods! 253 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,719 This is just something else! 254 00:19:28,799 --> 00:19:34,159 The engine is Audi's 4.2 litre V8, but with added twin turbos, 255 00:19:34,159 --> 00:19:37,400 all wrapped up in featherweight carbon fibre. 256 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,720 0-60 - three seconds. 257 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,399 Top speed - 224mph. 258 00:19:44,399 --> 00:19:48,680 So, let's see how much of that we can get on our modest runway. 259 00:19:53,079 --> 00:19:56,039 That's 200 kilometres per hour. That's 120 mph. 260 00:19:59,159 --> 00:20:02,559 That's 280 kilometres an hour, which is very fast. 261 00:20:05,879 --> 00:20:07,960 300 kilometres an hour. 262 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,600 I'm gonna start breaking, I think. 263 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,119 That's 186 miles an hour 264 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,479 in 1.7 miles. 265 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:23,279 And when you get to a corner, just as long as you've not been fiddling with anything, it is brilliant. 266 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:30,599 The grip! 267 00:20:30,599 --> 00:20:34,280 My eyes are a foot that side of my head! 268 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:42,519 Suddenly you realise why this thing looks like a boil on the buttock of a baboon. 269 00:20:42,519 --> 00:20:46,519 It's got downforce, that's what all those holes, fins and grills are for. 270 00:20:56,519 --> 00:21:03,599 If you want a supercar you can park with pride in Monte Carlo's Casino Square, this probably isn't for you. 271 00:21:04,719 --> 00:21:08,920 There are many other cars that will do that job much better. 272 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:13,879 But the Gumpert guys in their little German factory have gone down another path. 273 00:21:13,879 --> 00:21:15,160 Hardcore Street. 274 00:21:17,999 --> 00:21:23,600 I do believe that on this track old Quasimodo here could destroy every supercar alive. 275 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:45,839 Are you really suggesting this is gonna be quicker round the track that lots of the really fast cars? 276 00:21:45,839 --> 00:21:49,160 It is unbelievably quick, but I tell you the amazing thing about this car. 277 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,880 You know I said it generates downforce to stick it to the road? 278 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:59,120 Well, Gumpert say it generates so much that it could drive upside down and still stick to the roof... 279 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:03,679 Don't fall for that old chestnut! Every Formula One team says you could drive our cars upside down. 280 00:22:03,679 --> 00:22:07,480 The only reason they say that is because we can't prove them wrong. 281 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,599 Yeah, but Gumpert are going to prove it. 282 00:22:09,599 --> 00:22:12,439 They've built an engine that will work upside down. 283 00:22:12,439 --> 00:22:15,280 And the tunnel? And they found a tunnel they can do it in. 284 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:20,920 So how fast do you have to drive to generate enough downforce or upforce to stick it? 285 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:26,120 190 miles an hour. So they're gonna get someone to drive at 190mph down the roof of a tunnel, 286 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:29,159 swerving between all the signposts, fans and lights! 287 00:22:29,159 --> 00:22:32,279 That's the thing, they found the tunnel to do it in, 288 00:22:32,279 --> 00:22:36,639 but they've not yet found anyone stupid enough to drive it. 289 00:22:36,639 --> 00:22:38,920 Well, this is the last show. 290 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,200 No, I can't. 291 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,359 I can't. I'm busy. 292 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,199 I'm painting...my horse. 293 00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:50,559 I can't do it. Anyway, we must now find out how fast it goes round our track, 294 00:22:50,559 --> 00:22:53,720 which means we must put it in the hands of our tame racing driver. 295 00:22:53,720 --> 00:23:00,359 Some say it's impossible for him to wear socks. 296 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:04,600 And he can open a beer bottle with his testes. 297 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,839 All we know is he's called the Stig. 298 00:23:07,839 --> 00:23:10,280 And he's off, not a scorching start. 299 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:14,560 Stig just carefully metering out the power, of which there is a lot. 300 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:19,679 First corner now, hopefully he will be going faster to get that downforce working. 301 00:23:19,679 --> 00:23:21,959 That is neat, I've got high hopes for this. 302 00:23:23,279 --> 00:23:26,079 MUSIC: "Daniel" by Elton John 303 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:33,759 Yeah, Stig is apparently still touched by Elton John. 304 00:23:33,759 --> 00:23:36,200 That is fantastically controlled through Chicago. 305 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,159 Hammerhead now, slower corner. 306 00:23:38,159 --> 00:23:41,680 Could be in trouble if the fancy aerodynamics can't do their stuff. 307 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:45,520 It's so undramatic and I expect that could be this car's secret. 308 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:52,240 The follow-through - really pin it open now, will he have to lift? 309 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,320 Not likely! 310 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:59,120 You can almost see it being pressed into the tarmac, it's so flat through the corners like a racing car. 311 00:24:00,239 --> 00:24:03,440 Finally biting back, and across the line. 312 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,640 Hang on, hang on. Wait! 313 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:16,240 If you're right, it's gonna be up with the Zonda, the Ascari... 314 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,519 Yep, Ascari did it in 1.17.3. 315 00:24:19,519 --> 00:24:25,279 The Gumbert did it in it 1.17.1! 316 00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:27,239 It is the fastest! 317 00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:33,880 Fastest ever around our track. 318 00:24:35,399 --> 00:24:42,760 That really is incredible because that is the first car Hammond has driven round our circuit this year. 319 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:47,440 And it's gone to the top of the leaderboard...which he can't reach. 320 00:24:49,599 --> 00:24:52,640 I can, I can! I just need a run up. 321 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,599 This is going to be undignified. 322 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,880 It's not worked. 323 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:05,360 It's on! 324 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,840 OK, that's one... 325 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:13,040 that's one lap record smashed, quite literally. 326 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,760 Now, let's see if we can't deal with another one. 327 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,919 This is a list of the stars who've driven our reasonably priced car 328 00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:26,960 and Simon Cowell has now been at the top for the last two series, which we think is long enough. 329 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:32,720 So what we've done is we went back and looked at all the people who drove our old reasonably priced car, 330 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:37,000 found the biggest petrol head and invited him back. 331 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,400 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jay Kay! 332 00:25:44,999 --> 00:25:47,359 How are you? Have a seat. 333 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,119 Thank you. 334 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:50,480 Wa-hay! 335 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,320 Wa-hay! 336 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:58,880 You have been nagging to be here. Honestly, there hasn't been a week go by... 337 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,040 How long is it since you were here? 338 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:05,879 I was here on the first series, I think I was the second guy. 339 00:26:05,879 --> 00:26:12,439 You were the second guest ever. There hasn't been a week really gone by since then 340 00:26:12,439 --> 00:26:15,640 when you haven't been on the phone going can I come back? 341 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:22,199 I have to say I felt left out, lonely, sat in my kitchen watching it thinking, 342 00:26:22,199 --> 00:26:23,920 "When will I come back? 343 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:29,120 "When will I beat the man with the codpiece?" Oh, Simon? 344 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:30,920 Codpiece Cowell! 345 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,999 I've just remembered something, what was it you said to the researcher? 346 00:26:34,999 --> 00:26:38,999 When we rang up and said can you come back... I said I'm down here for war. 347 00:26:38,999 --> 00:26:41,680 He did! I'm down here for war! 348 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:49,000 I'm not here to muck about, not here to be 13th, not here to beat James Blunt, I'm here to be on the top. 349 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,679 So first or nothing else will do? 350 00:26:51,679 --> 00:26:55,120 I'm not here to beat James Blunt's album sales either. 351 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:58,519 How many have you sold in total? 25 million or something. 352 00:26:58,519 --> 00:27:02,519 25 million and you can't read music. Thank you, everybody. 353 00:27:02,519 --> 00:27:06,199 Thank you. APPLAUSE 354 00:27:07,799 --> 00:27:10,399 That is a lot of albums. 355 00:27:10,399 --> 00:27:14,279 I won't bother going through the list of everything you've got 356 00:27:14,279 --> 00:27:16,959 because the programme is only an hour long. 357 00:27:16,959 --> 00:27:19,319 But how many cars have you got these days? 358 00:27:19,319 --> 00:27:23,359 There are 37 vehicles, that's including motorbikes, 359 00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,439 and staff cars. 360 00:27:25,439 --> 00:27:28,319 Staff cars! 361 00:27:28,319 --> 00:27:33,440 They don't have little flags and swastikas on! 362 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:37,240 Or two wheels at the front and a half track at the back. 363 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,119 Since you were last here, what have been the main changes? 364 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:46,799 The main stuff is that I've got into Porsches, for some unknown reason. 365 00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:54,359 About three or four years ago, I bought an RS Touring, which is the factory sunroof, rear-seat 911, 366 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:58,039 Carrera down the side, wide arches, 2.7 engine. 367 00:27:58,039 --> 00:28:04,799 Then I got a 911 3T GRS, the reason being because I thought this car is gonna be a future classic... 368 00:28:04,799 --> 00:28:08,440 Present at 997? A 997 GT 3RS, yeah. 369 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:14,239 I've then subsequently gone and got myself a 911 RS light weight. 370 00:28:14,239 --> 00:28:19,839 I still genuinely don't get the appeal of 911s. Right. 371 00:28:19,839 --> 00:28:22,799 Have you driven a modern-day Turbo? 372 00:28:22,799 --> 00:28:25,560 Not for a while. 373 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,400 Or even a GT3 RS. 374 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,639 I drive that and think, "Actually, this is a nice car," 375 00:28:31,639 --> 00:28:37,360 then I got into a GT2 the other day, the new GT2. The Turbo, yeah. 376 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:41,080 It's absolutely, hideously horrid. 377 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:45,200 What don't you like about it? It does everything you expect a 911 to do. 378 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:50,600 Do you know what I mean by that front end bounce and that understeer? 379 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:56,159 If you do anything about the understeer, they switch immediately to death-dealing oversteer. 380 00:28:56,159 --> 00:28:59,359 Could it be you're not driving it properly? 381 00:28:59,359 --> 00:29:01,160 I turned the steering wheel! 382 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:08,680 That light weight you've got... Air-cooled. Yeah, the air-cooled one is one day going to kill you. 383 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:14,559 It's sitting in your garage now plotting how it's going to do it. Has anyone here got a 911? 384 00:29:14,559 --> 00:29:16,759 See, they've all been killed. 385 00:29:16,759 --> 00:29:21,200 They were on their way and they're all now in a tree like that. 386 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,720 I just don't get them. Brilliant. 387 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,599 There are a number of other things. Yeah. 388 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:30,479 He's got a Mercedes Grosser. 389 00:29:30,479 --> 00:29:34,399 Mine was owned by Coco Chanel. It was actually owned by Coco Chanel? 390 00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:38,279 Mine was owned by the Egyptian ambassador. 391 00:29:38,279 --> 00:29:42,640 When I get in it, I just cover myself in No.5. 392 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:48,200 And you've got a CSL BMW now. Tell us about the GQ awards. 393 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,880 Yes, another thing we've got in common, we've both won awards... 394 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,560 You got Worst Dressed Man, I got Style Man of the Year. 395 00:29:55,839 --> 00:29:57,719 Mind you... 396 00:29:57,719 --> 00:30:00,119 Look, dear, I like them. 397 00:30:00,119 --> 00:30:04,640 Get off! Show the people at the back. There's nothing wrong with them! 398 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,760 Style of the year? LAUGHTER 399 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,759 They're nice! It's not nice. 400 00:30:09,759 --> 00:30:13,559 It's hideous. Just because Alpinestars don't make you shoes. 401 00:30:13,559 --> 00:30:16,959 No, cos I go to a shoe shop and say, "Have you got a pair of shoes?" 402 00:30:16,959 --> 00:30:20,000 "Have you got a pair of shoes for a hippo?" 403 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:28,559 We have talked about cars enough. It's great talking to you. We do genuinely share the same passions. 404 00:30:28,559 --> 00:30:31,359 We do like the same motors. 405 00:30:31,359 --> 00:30:35,039 We do have the same sort of cars. Yeah. Right, the lap. 406 00:30:35,039 --> 00:30:41,079 Yeah. When you came the last time, it was old Stig. What is new Stig like now he's regenerated? 407 00:30:41,079 --> 00:30:45,759 I have been out with the new Stig. He's in the master class, isn't he? 408 00:30:45,759 --> 00:30:49,919 I've just been out in that C63. He is an extremely good driver. 409 00:30:49,919 --> 00:30:53,399 He is quicker than Lewis Hamilton, Nigel Mansell and Mark Webber. 410 00:30:53,399 --> 00:30:59,120 The funny thing is, when you're talking to him.... We'd just had dinner, chatting away, 411 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,559 I asked what he was going to have. "You gonna have ribs and coleslaw?" 412 00:31:01,559 --> 00:31:05,360 You suddenly find you are talking to this guy with this screen. 413 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:10,360 What happens, he lifts it up for a bit of air, you start doing that, 414 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:16,959 then he goes...and shuts it again. He is filtering out the carbon dioxide. He runs on pure nitrogen. 415 00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:20,760 Anyway, he coached you? He did. 416 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:25,880 You had your nine laps. Obviously, there's no point saying this week, where do you think you've come? 417 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,799 You want to be here, don't you? 418 00:31:28,799 --> 00:31:33,040 What can I say, but yes, yes, yes! 419 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,359 More than the next Grammy? Yes! 420 00:31:36,359 --> 00:31:41,880 I mean, do you know, people stop me in the street and go, "When are you back on Top Gear? 421 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,920 "When are you going to beat Simon Cowell." They don't give a BLEEP about the music! 422 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:53,560 Get on with it then! No, no. Simon Cowell is... Agh! 423 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,960 That is what Simon Cowell is doing at home now! No! 424 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,680 Who wants to see his lap? AUDIENCE: Yes! OK. 425 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,920 SCREECHING 426 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:06,920 Nice start. This is the one, I must beat Mr Codpiece. 427 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:14,039 Let's have a look at that corner. Scrubbing! 428 00:32:15,599 --> 00:32:17,999 Agh! 429 00:32:17,999 --> 00:32:24,520 Why are we angry? Because it is a gutless piece of American BLEEP and I hate it! 430 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:30,719 Let's start shaping tiny bits of Gordon Ramsay parmesan cheese off this BLEEP. 431 00:32:30,719 --> 00:32:35,240 Gordon Ramsay... Go on, turn in, you pillock! 432 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:39,999 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! I'd have done that tighter. 433 00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:45,479 Come on! You really are a gutless bit of Yankee BLEEP! Honestly. 434 00:32:46,799 --> 00:32:50,680 You're cutting that corner, we allow that because it's slippery there. 435 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:51,760 Agh! 436 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:56,720 There is a man determined. Go on, get in there! 437 00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:01,160 That is about as good as I've ever seen anyone do the second to last turn. 438 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,559 Get in there! Come on! 439 00:33:08,279 --> 00:33:10,519 Oh, no! 440 00:33:10,519 --> 00:33:12,520 I can't take it! 441 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:19,519 Do you know, I was sitting there yesterday, I thought, "Top Gear tomorrow." 442 00:33:19,519 --> 00:33:26,399 I'm watching The Right Stuff, which I really enjoy, "Sod it, get to bed and make sure you are fresh as a daisy." 443 00:33:26,399 --> 00:33:28,759 You had an early night? I had an early night, yeah. 444 00:33:28,759 --> 00:33:31,960 So you'd be capable of doing this? So I would be capable of doing this. 445 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:37,960 What I've got here is a bit of paper given to me by the producer with all your nine laps. 446 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,279 It isn't important, this, is it? 447 00:33:40,279 --> 00:33:46,360 There's more important things going on in the world! This is not important. Right. 448 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,679 You fastest lap of the nine. Christ, what is it there? 449 00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:53,680 What was he? 145.9. 145.9. 450 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,479 Come on, surely? Your fastest lap. 451 00:33:57,479 --> 00:33:58,919 One... 452 00:33:58,919 --> 00:34:04,400 I hate this. I watch other people... I'm not supposed to be doing this. 453 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:05,879 forty... Oh! 454 00:34:05,879 --> 00:34:08,720 six point two... 455 00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:10,000 Agh! 456 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:12,919 BLEEP! 457 00:34:12,919 --> 00:34:16,799 was your second... was your second fastest lap. 458 00:34:16,799 --> 00:34:20,000 EXCITED ROARS BLEEP! 459 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,159 You BLEEP! 460 00:34:23,159 --> 00:34:25,119 BLEEP! 461 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,439 Look, all I want to do... 146.2 was your second fastest. 462 00:34:33,439 --> 00:34:36,479 Please let me... You did another 146.2. 463 00:34:36,479 --> 00:34:40,360 148.2. 149?! 464 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,959 That was when I got the wrong gear. 465 00:34:42,959 --> 00:34:46,239 147, 148. Then on lap eight... 466 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:51,880 That'll be your quickest. You have 145.9 to beat. 467 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:52,959 One... 468 00:34:52,959 --> 00:34:55,000 forty... 469 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,560 five... 470 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,079 point... 471 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,400 ..eight. 472 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,800 WILD APPLAUSE 473 00:35:14,519 --> 00:35:16,959 Come on! Come on! 474 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,639 Come on! 475 00:35:20,639 --> 00:35:23,320 Well, done, mate. 476 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,880 Ladies and gentlemen, Jay Kay. The new number one. 477 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,439 Thank you. 478 00:35:36,439 --> 00:35:38,240 It was a 145.81. 479 00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:40,160 You can take that home and frame it. 480 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,640 Who's the daddy now?! Not Simon Cowell. 481 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:52,880 So we are back in the autumn and the first guest, I am guessing will be...Simon Cowell. 482 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:58,160 Brilliant. Ladies and gentlemen, the new number one, Jay Kay! 483 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,280 Thank you very much. CHEERING 484 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,479 Now, there's a new TV show in Germany. 485 00:36:09,479 --> 00:36:13,360 It's all about cars, it is hosted by three people. 486 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,359 I can't imagine where they got that idea from, no idea. 487 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:24,959 They got in touch with us and invited us to take them on in a series of races and challenges. 488 00:36:24,959 --> 00:36:27,320 Obviously, we needed somewhere to stage this. 489 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,480 I suggested in the skies over southern England. 490 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:35,679 In fact, we settled on Belgium, a country invented so that Britain 491 00:36:35,679 --> 00:36:38,800 and Germany would have somewhere to sort out their differences. 492 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:44,360 On that point the producers told us, "You are representing the BBC, 493 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,320 "you can't just turn up and go on about the war." 494 00:36:51,519 --> 00:36:57,959 The meet was set for 9:00am for Belgium's second best-known race track, Zolder. 495 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:09,320 And at precisely 9.00am, our Germans arrived in their impressive German cars. 496 00:37:18,359 --> 00:37:21,559 In fact, we were not late, we were simply arriving in style. 497 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,399 Come on, Biggles! 498 00:38:08,999 --> 00:38:11,039 We are on our own, we're... 499 00:38:11,039 --> 00:38:13,199 playing for time and it is running out! 500 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,479 I think we might have overdone this. 501 00:38:28,479 --> 00:38:32,599 It could be worse, we could have come in the back of Bobby Charlton! 502 00:38:32,599 --> 00:38:36,040 Jeremy. Hi. Good to see you. How are you? 503 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:41,999 Our small talk was friendly, but, to be honest, we were a bit nervous. 504 00:38:41,999 --> 00:38:44,480 Sure, they had a jolly man in a suit. 505 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:50,399 He is called Carston von Ryssen, he has no racing experience at all, 506 00:38:50,399 --> 00:38:53,919 but then they also have Tim Schrick, the touring driver 507 00:38:53,919 --> 00:38:58,280 and Sabine Schmitz, the Nuerburgring specialist. 508 00:39:00,479 --> 00:39:03,880 They were up against us lot. 509 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:08,200 The first challenge was dreamed up by the Germans. 510 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,479 It is called double decker racing and the idea is simple. 511 00:39:11,479 --> 00:39:16,880 The car on the bottom has a throttle, brakes and gears but no steering wheel. 512 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,479 because that is fitted to the car on top. 513 00:39:20,479 --> 00:39:26,519 Because there are only three presenters on each side and you need eight people to operate 514 00:39:26,519 --> 00:39:32,119 the four cars, each team is allowed to get someone from their film crew to help out. 515 00:39:32,119 --> 00:39:34,680 That is a problem for the Germans, because, whilst they have 516 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:39,239 a sound recordist, a cameraman and a director, he is the same man. 517 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:44,879 So their coverage of this race is going to look like this... 518 00:39:44,879 --> 00:39:50,520 But it is not that brilliant for us, because, although we have a very large film crew, there was 519 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:57,320 only one volunteer to sit above me and, if I am honest, it is not the one I would have picked. 520 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,279 Still, he is very brave. 521 00:39:59,279 --> 00:40:01,559 He once fought a shark. 522 00:40:01,559 --> 00:40:03,640 He lost, but anyway! 523 00:40:05,359 --> 00:40:09,279 We do six laps and have six white stripes. 524 00:40:09,279 --> 00:40:13,439 If you finish the first one you take one off. 525 00:40:13,439 --> 00:40:18,840 James, will you promise to use the throttle and not just the brake? 526 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,839 It's a bit odd not having a steering wheel. 527 00:40:21,839 --> 00:40:25,840 These Metros have quite good steering, so this is a good way round to do it. 528 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,199 It doesn't make a difference, you idiot. 529 00:40:28,199 --> 00:40:31,159 The steering is done by the Metro. You're steering the Jag. 530 00:40:31,159 --> 00:40:33,640 The good thing is that they have Golfs on the roof. 531 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,359 Now, Golfs are heavy. 532 00:40:35,359 --> 00:40:37,960 Metros are made out of snake skin. 533 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,040 Right. 534 00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,240 Here we go. 535 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,600 Yes! 536 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,159 Hang on, Jeremy. 537 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,880 We have got an early lead! 538 00:40:57,759 --> 00:40:59,440 We're already at the back! 539 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,600 Jesus, that is going to roll over if we are not careful. 540 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,720 the German system was working well. 541 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,719 Whereas in the Metro squadron... 542 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:21,759 Look at what you are doing, left, left. 543 00:41:21,759 --> 00:41:24,599 Left! 544 00:41:24,599 --> 00:41:25,599 Smooth! 545 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,480 Right! 546 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,080 Then there was a complete communication breakdown. 547 00:41:39,639 --> 00:41:41,080 Whoa! Left, left, left! 548 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:44,159 The Germans were now first and second. 549 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,639 This is a disaster! 550 00:41:48,639 --> 00:41:52,360 Then there was another one. My wing men went mad. 551 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,400 On the inside. 552 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:59,279 No. No. No! What the hell have you done that for? 553 00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:08,000 That was your fault. You're on the bloody steering! 554 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,280 James and Richard think it's all over, and they're right! 555 00:42:12,839 --> 00:42:16,119 Rubbish, you steered into the gravel it is designed to stop Formula One cars. 556 00:42:16,119 --> 00:42:20,680 How the hell do you think a Jaguar with a Metro on its roof... 557 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,560 This was our darkest hour. 558 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,200 We are being annihilated. 559 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:31,839 With us out, we could only hope that Jeremy and Kipp the sound man would race on cleanly and fairly. 560 00:42:31,839 --> 00:42:34,000 Ram him. Ram! 561 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,000 Go, Kipp. 562 00:42:37,919 --> 00:42:40,240 Yes, they've gone wrong. We got them. 563 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:45,079 just off, he was out. 564 00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:50,240 Now it was just us versus Sabine and a man in a suit. 565 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,360 Come on! There's no fighter escort. 566 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,599 Up the inside, baff, yes! 567 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,320 Go, Kipp. They've gone down! 568 00:43:14,159 --> 00:43:19,159 Keen to defend his country and his job on Top Gear, Kipp made a bold move. 569 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,959 That is giving them something to think about. 570 00:43:24,959 --> 00:43:27,640 It also gave us something to think about. 571 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:31,400 Jeremy, my arm's come off! 572 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,359 My arm's come off! 573 00:43:33,359 --> 00:43:37,040 Nobody has ever said that in a car race before! 574 00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:41,800 We were now on the last lap. 575 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,120 On the inside. 576 00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:55,839 It is quite difficult now, Jeremy. 577 00:44:00,159 --> 00:44:03,239 Oh, no, it is the finish. No, No! 578 00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:04,479 No! 579 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,360 I've let Britain down, oh, no! 580 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:15,680 Hopefully, we could redeem ourselves in the next challenge. 581 00:44:19,199 --> 00:44:21,160 Who makes the fastest cars? 582 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:24,760 The axis powers or the allies? You came up with this one, didn't you? 583 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,239 Yes. You haven't thought it through, have you? 584 00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,519 I did. It is brilliantly simple. A drag race. 585 00:44:29,519 --> 00:44:31,280 Let's meet the contenders. 586 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:35,560 On their side from Germany, the highly modified Porsche 9FF. 587 00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,440 From Italy, the Lamborghini. 588 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,240 That's the LP640 version. 589 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:45,359 From Japan, the Mitsubishi Evo 10, that's the FD360. 590 00:44:45,359 --> 00:44:47,199 Yes, that's there's, now ours. 591 00:44:47,199 --> 00:44:50,240 From England and driven by Wing Commander Bunny Hammond, 592 00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:52,920 is the Ariel Atom, the supercharged version. 593 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:58,559 Then from America, I was thinking of you here, corporal, is the Callaway Corvette, also supercharged. 594 00:44:58,559 --> 00:45:01,840 And like I was saying, you haven't thought it through, have you? 595 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:08,560 Let me guess, James, New Zealand makes a V16 rocket car that somehow we don't know about. They don't. 596 00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:14,000 However, India was on our side, whilst I waited for one of their cars 597 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:19,320 to turn up I sent the others off to neuter the 250mph Porsche. 598 00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:30,239 And they decided it would have trouble putting its 1000 horsepower down off the line. 599 00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:34,040 If the race is quarter of a mile this is still gonna be sitting here spinning its wheels. Yeah. 600 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:35,720 Right, you're gonna love this. 601 00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:38,800 There are rules and regulations - you like that sort of thing - 602 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,280 concerning a drag race, and they are always a quarter of a mile. 603 00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:47,720 No, no. We drive kilometres. At least one kilometre. 604 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:52,040 If you say a quarter of a mile everybody knows what that is because it's the standard measure. 605 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,919 Half kilometre burger, please, no. 606 00:45:53,919 --> 00:45:57,720 It's a quarter pounder, you have a quarter-mile drag race. 607 00:45:57,720 --> 00:45:59,879 It's the British way. Let's do it. 608 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:05,680 With the 9FF hopefully out of it my attention turned to the Lamborghini. 609 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:13,079 What I'm hoping, praying is that being Italian it changes sides halfway down. 610 00:46:14,519 --> 00:46:18,400 As we got ready, James's Indian car finally turned up. 611 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,160 Supercharged. Supercharged. 612 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:22,919 Charged. 613 00:46:34,919 --> 00:46:38,360 James, don't forget to turn your traction control off, mate. 614 00:46:40,759 --> 00:46:45,239 Cock. I've just remembered the Australians. They do that VXR thing. 615 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,280 Lofty Hammond got a lightning start. 616 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:52,520 Lofty Hammond got a lightning start. 617 00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:59,000 This is unbelievable acceleration! 618 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:05,279 The atom in the Atom would clearly win but who would come second? 619 00:47:05,279 --> 00:47:07,160 Come on! Come on! 620 00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:14,879 The Lambo's got me. But could I hold off that monstrous Porsche? 621 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:18,800 Yes! 622 00:47:22,079 --> 00:47:25,520 Yeah, that is ours! That is ours! 623 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:33,479 So...how do you feel now? 624 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:42,239 So we were first. Let's just say that again, make it clear - first. 625 00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:45,880 First. Third. First. And last. 626 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:50,480 Well, you say last. There's a symmetry to that - we had first 627 00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:56,039 and last, the two most significant places in the drag race are owned by us. We own the whole territory. 628 00:47:56,039 --> 00:48:01,640 You won the double deckers, we've got some points back. 629 00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,199 The drag race marks the end of the team challenges. 630 00:48:04,199 --> 00:48:07,079 From now on, it would be one-on-one. 631 00:48:10,399 --> 00:48:15,359 For this event Germany will be represented by ring mistress, racing driver, Sabine Schmitz. 632 00:48:15,359 --> 00:48:18,520 We will be represented by that. 633 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:25,840 Anyway, the cars - each team must bring something small, reasonably priced and from their own country. 634 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:29,200 So we've come up with this - it's a Mini Cooper S. 635 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,679 Sabine, what have you got? 636 00:48:31,679 --> 00:48:33,880 I've got that car. What, the Golf? 637 00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,639 No, the Mini Cooper, of course! 638 00:48:36,639 --> 00:48:39,160 Weren't you listening? It's German. We said it's from your own country. 639 00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,759 It's a Mini. 640 00:48:41,759 --> 00:48:45,880 You can't get more British than a Mini! 641 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:50,559 Alec Issigonis, how much more of a British name is there than Issigonis? 642 00:48:50,559 --> 00:48:53,960 Apart from Patel? British, British, British! 643 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,879 OK, so we're in the same cars. Just let them do it. 644 00:48:56,879 --> 00:49:03,119 So the International Small Car Challenge, and it goes like this... 645 00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:09,959 Slalom through the Ming vases. Steering is so easy. 646 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,999 Reverse into the garage of priceless crockery. 647 00:49:14,999 --> 00:49:20,920 Then take a J turn penalty which, amazingly, the German missed. 648 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,679 Next, drive a figure of eight while a member of 649 00:49:25,679 --> 00:49:28,679 the other team shoots at you 650 00:49:28,679 --> 00:49:31,919 from a paintball tank. One point off for each hit, escape the arena 651 00:49:31,919 --> 00:49:35,080 through a tunnel we shall call Dick. 652 00:49:38,279 --> 00:49:41,999 But then it was Jeremy's turn. Gut luck. 653 00:49:41,999 --> 00:49:44,319 Here we go! 654 00:49:47,199 --> 00:49:50,360 So far not one hit! 655 00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,599 That's the ticket. 656 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,360 Still, things could only get better. 657 00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:03,680 Oh! I've scored. 658 00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:07,079 I only had the figure of eight to redeem myself. 659 00:50:07,079 --> 00:50:08,600 Come on, handbrake. 660 00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:09,719 Fire! 661 00:50:11,919 --> 00:50:12,959 Fire! 662 00:50:12,959 --> 00:50:17,680 An awful lot of bullets hitting me here. And no wonder. 663 00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:20,999 James! What are you doing? Shooting at Jeremy. 664 00:50:20,999 --> 00:50:24,639 Well, he's on our side! Yeah, but why wouldn't you? You're right! You would! Fire! 665 00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:30,960 Come on, through Dick! 666 00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:36,479 Yes. Even that went wrong. 667 00:50:38,959 --> 00:50:41,879 So, I was trailing on points. 668 00:50:41,879 --> 00:50:46,319 But I could win some back in the final part of the challenge, the head to head one 669 00:50:46,319 --> 00:50:53,000 lap race around the Zolder circuit, the winner would be the first one to get their towel on the sunbed. 670 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,360 A date with destiny. 671 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,960 She's ahead by what she'd call a metre. 672 00:51:04,559 --> 00:51:05,840 Woo! 673 00:51:11,879 --> 00:51:14,999 She's breaking early there, I'm not 674 00:51:14,999 --> 00:51:17,800 going to do that. I dive down inside. 675 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,199 I'm in the lead! 676 00:51:20,199 --> 00:51:22,120 I'm not in the lead! 677 00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:35,079 The TV idiot was trying everything to get past. 678 00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:50,440 Come on! Jeremy! This really was a proper race. 679 00:51:51,599 --> 00:51:53,600 I'm not talking, this matters. 680 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,800 Jeremy, let him get something right. 681 00:52:08,879 --> 00:52:10,919 No! No! No! 682 00:52:10,919 --> 00:52:14,079 They've got to get up to the bridge. 683 00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:23,679 There's no possibility, in this environment, of beating a German. 684 00:52:23,679 --> 00:52:25,439 That was feeble. And then you didn't... 685 00:52:25,439 --> 00:52:29,439 Sorry. Were you shooting at me? In that tank? He was, yes, he did that. 686 00:52:31,039 --> 00:52:35,440 After that debacle, we were trailing by nine points. 687 00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:44,080 But I was handling the next challenge. And it was to be a shoot-out in my kind of car. 688 00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,719 The incredible Bowler Nemesis. 689 00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:51,039 4.4 litre V8, 300 brake horse power, 0 to 60 in six seconds. 690 00:52:51,039 --> 00:52:53,639 Top speed 130 miles an hour. 691 00:52:53,639 --> 00:52:57,640 But, as always, with a Bowler, it can do that anywhere on anything. 692 00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:01,640 And better still, my opponent would be the accountant. 693 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,240 Driven a Bowler before? No. Good. 694 00:53:04,240 --> 00:53:07,319 Good. Well, they're terrifying. 695 00:53:07,319 --> 00:53:11,080 Does he not do any racing? No, never, he hasn't got a car. 696 00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,319 No. He has a licence, that's it. 697 00:53:13,319 --> 00:53:18,399 One driver dislodged his lung when he went too fast. 698 00:53:18,399 --> 00:53:20,720 But you'll be fine, you'll enjoy this. Good luck. 699 00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:28,079 It would be a five lap race over a track that was 60% Tarmac and, thanks to James, 60% gravel. 700 00:53:40,079 --> 00:53:42,119 We are off. Come on, mighty Bowler. 701 00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:54,040 On Tarmac, the accountant kept up, but once we hit the dirt, he wouldn't see me for dust. 702 00:53:55,799 --> 00:53:58,760 Yes! More like it! 703 00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:01,080 Meanwhile, back at base... 704 00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,560 Sit down. 705 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,479 You're not interested in these, are you? 706 00:54:06,479 --> 00:54:12,560 Do you know what? Your mind cannot comprehend of how uninterested I am in things like this. 707 00:54:16,599 --> 00:54:19,640 Back on track, Hammond couldn't shake the man in the suit off his tail. 708 00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,840 He was clearly a worthy adversary. 709 00:54:24,159 --> 00:54:26,000 Keep your foot in Hammond, be brave. 710 00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:35,999 A point Hammond proved, moments later. 711 00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:44,959 HE LAUGHS 712 00:54:46,799 --> 00:54:51,800 If you don't get that going, Hammond, for us, ze competition is over! 713 00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,360 That didn't go well, then. 714 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:56,080 This was a race we had to win. 715 00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:59,199 But the VAT man had a big lead. 716 00:54:59,199 --> 00:55:01,760 I'm going to get grief for this, now, this is not good. 717 00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,440 Cooler! Eight weeks! 718 00:55:08,119 --> 00:55:09,759 Where's the track gone? 719 00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:14,560 Is he gaining? He is gaining. 720 00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:35,600 On the last corner, I decided to take him on the outside. 721 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,079 I can have him here! 722 00:55:42,599 --> 00:55:44,319 Yes! 723 00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:46,999 Yeah! 724 00:55:46,999 --> 00:55:49,239 Well done, then. Thank you! 725 00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:54,320 You know what a bad loser is? Well, Hammond is what's called a bad winner. 726 00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,039 YES! 727 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,599 What do you think of that? 728 00:56:02,759 --> 00:56:05,600 Congratulate me, then, I've won. Did you notice, I was first? 729 00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:11,359 After Hammond's modest win, we were trailing by just four points 730 00:56:11,359 --> 00:56:14,200 as we went into the last event. 731 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:17,600 It's a two-lap race of the Zolder circuit. 732 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:22,400 It's between a Porsche 911, a racing Porsche 911, which will be driven by 733 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,880 professional racing driver, Tim Schrick. 734 00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:32,360 And he will be against an Aston Martin DBRS9, which will be driven by James May. 735 00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:35,360 Do we have to use James? 736 00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:37,599 Well, no, you did the Bowler thing, I did the Mini thing, it's his turn. 737 00:56:37,599 --> 00:56:39,880 But, he's going to lose, badly. 738 00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:44,600 Happily, though, I'd come up with a plan. 739 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:48,200 You know what I mean? Clever. Very clever. 740 00:56:52,240 --> 00:56:56,159 It's James. It's James, yeah, he's come in for the race. He always...always dresses like this. 741 00:56:56,159 --> 00:56:59,399 But what is this? 742 00:56:59,399 --> 00:57:02,160 He always dresses like this when he drives a racing car. Good luck. 743 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:04,760 Who cut his hair? 744 00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:06,479 He's lost it. 745 00:57:06,479 --> 00:57:09,719 Don't disturb him when he's focused and in his zone, ready for a race. 746 00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:13,319 He's ice-cool. Well, this could work. 747 00:57:13,319 --> 00:57:15,999 Could do. There's every chance. 748 00:57:15,999 --> 00:57:18,239 It would be a rolling start. 749 00:57:18,239 --> 00:57:22,399 Because we were four points behind, James, who's warming his tyres up, 750 00:57:22,399 --> 00:57:26,440 had to set off four seconds after the Porsche. 751 00:57:31,959 --> 00:57:33,919 The race was on. 752 00:57:35,519 --> 00:57:38,440 Go, James! Go! 753 00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:48,520 The simple fact of the matter is this, our young man had to shoot 754 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:54,440 down their young man at the rate of two seconds a lap. 755 00:58:06,359 --> 00:58:09,559 If he does full throttle on the straight, it's not kept slow. 756 00:58:09,559 --> 00:58:15,000 I know... That's his nickname, you know? 757 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:16,880 We call him Lofty. It's the opposite. 758 00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:24,719 Towards the end of the first lap, James had closed the gap to just one second. 759 00:58:36,959 --> 00:58:41,200 James was driving brilliantly but then disaster. 760 00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:46,879 He locked up, he lost ground, he had the work to do all over again. 761 00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,119 Happily, James is no quitter. 762 00:58:53,119 --> 00:58:57,560 With half a lap to go, he was right back under the Porsche's wing. 763 00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:07,960 With just two corners to go, he made his move. 764 00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:13,199 I don't want to see! I can hear them, I can hear them both! 765 00:59:13,199 --> 00:59:15,959 Which car would appear first? 766 00:59:15,959 --> 00:59:19,280 Which one? 767 00:59:20,759 --> 00:59:22,559 It's there! 768 00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,040 Stig! James! 769 00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:27,000 CHEERING 770 00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:35,000 James. 771 00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:38,559 James. 772 00:59:38,559 --> 00:59:41,520 Some say, you saved our bacon. 773 00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:44,319 Others say I was bound and gagged in the locker room. 774 00:59:44,319 --> 00:59:45,919 LAUGHTER 775 00:59:45,919 --> 00:59:49,679 And on that bouncing bomb shell, it's now time to end. 776 00:59:49,679 --> 00:59:56,319 If you are a German and you have any complaints about the film you've seen, do feel free to write to us. 777 00:59:56,319 --> 01:00:00,119 Our address is, 1966 778 01:00:00,119 --> 01:00:04,919 El Alamein Square, 1939 to 1945 Jutland Street, London, 779 01:00:04,919 --> 01:00:07,480 WE1! 780 01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,480 CHEERING 781 01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:13,120 See you in the autumn. Thanks for watching. Take care. Good night! 782 01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:16,560 CHEERING 783 01:00:37,119 --> 01:00:39,159 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 784 01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:36,719 This 785 01:01:36,719 --> 01:01:36,920 This programme 786 01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:37,160 This programme contains 787 01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:37,400 This programme contains some 788 01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:37,679 This programme contains some strong 789 01:01:37,679 --> 01:01:58,120 This programme contains some strong language. 790 01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:02,120 888 791 01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:06,119 888 792 01:02:06,119 --> 01:02:10,120 888 793 01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:11,080 888 794 01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:11,640 language. Hello, 795 01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:12,080 Hello, and 796 01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:12,319 Hello, and welcome 797 01:02:12,319 --> 01:02:12,560 Hello, and welcome to 798 01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:13,040 Hello, and welcome to Mock 799 01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:13,240 Hello, and welcome to Mock the 800 01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:13,480 Hello, and welcome to Mock the Week. 801 01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:13,960 Hello, and welcome to Mock the Week. I'm 802 01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:14,279 I'm Dara 803 01:02:14,279 --> 01:02:15,640 I'm Dara O'Briain. 804 01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:16,079 I'm Dara O'Briain. Joining 805 01:02:16,079 --> 01:02:16,559 Joining me 806 01:02:16,559 --> 01:02:16,679 Joining me this 807 01:02:16,679 --> 01:02:17,840 Joining me this week 808 01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:18,559 Joining me this week are 809 01:02:18,559 --> 01:02:18,839 Joining me this week are Andy 810 01:02:18,839 --> 01:02:19,639 Joining me this week are Andy Parsons, 811 01:02:19,639 --> 01:02:19,839 Parsons, Mark 812 01:02:19,839 --> 01:02:26,680 Parsons, Mark watszon 813 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:27,640 Parsons, Mark watszon and 814 01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:27,880 Parsons, Mark watszon and Frankie 815 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:29,560 Parsons, Mark watszon and Frankie Boyle, 816 01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:29,759 Boyle, Hugh 817 01:02:29,759 --> 01:02:30,359 Boyle, Hugh Dennis 818 01:02:30,959 --> 01:02:31,240 Boyle, Hugh Dennis and Michael 819 01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:31,799 Boyle, Hugh Dennis and Michael McIntyre. 820 01:02:31,799 --> 01:02:32,240 McIntyre. We 821 01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:32,720 McIntyre. We start 822 01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:32,959 McIntyre. We start with 823 01:02:32,959 --> 01:02:33,200 McIntyre. We start with a 824 01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:34,280 McIntyre. We start with a round 825 01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:34,480 McIntyre. We start with a round called 826 01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,520 called headliners. 827 01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:36,760 called headliners. This 828 01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:37,000 called headliners. This is 829 01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:37,119 called headliners. This is a 830 01:02:37,119 --> 01:02:37,319 called headliners. This is a picture 831 01:02:37,319 --> 01:02:37,560 picture of 832 01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:38,239 picture of Gordon 833 01:02:38,239 --> 01:02:38,480 picture of Gordon Brown 834 01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:38,719 picture of Gordon Brown meeting 835 01:02:38,719 --> 01:02:39,800 picture of Gordon Brown meeting Barack 836 01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:40,039 Barack Obama 837 01:02:40,039 --> 01:02:40,240 Barack Obama this 838 01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:40,360 Barack Obama this week. 839 01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:41,200 Barack Obama this week. But 840 01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:41,480 Barack Obama this week. But what 841 01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:41,519 Barack Obama this week. But what does 842 01:02:41,519 --> 01:02:42,839 does this 843 01:02:42,839 --> 01:02:43,079 does this zand 844 01:02:43,079 --> 01:02:43,919 does this zand for? 845 01:02:43,919 --> 01:02:44,240 does this zand for? Is 846 01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:44,639 does this zand for? Is it 847 01:02:44,639 --> 01:02:45,079 does this zand for? Is it Brown 848 01:02:45,079 --> 01:02:46,039 does this zand for? Is it Brown overdoes 849 01:02:46,039 --> 01:02:46,280 overdoes the 850 01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:47,240 overdoes the Ecstasy. 851 01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:48,159 overdoes the Ecstasy. Is 852 01:02:48,159 --> 01:02:48,520 overdoes the Ecstasy. Is it 853 01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:48,680 overdoes the Ecstasy. Is it brown 854 01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:51,400 overdoes the Ecstasy. Is it brown orders 855 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:51,640 orders tango 856 01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:52,319 orders tango enema. 857 01:02:52,319 --> 01:02:52,799 orders tango enema. You 858 01:02:52,799 --> 01:02:53,039 orders tango enema. You know 859 01:02:53,039 --> 01:02:53,759 orders tango enema. You know when 860 01:02:53,759 --> 01:02:54,079 orders tango enema. You know when you've 861 01:02:54,079 --> 01:02:54,440 you've had 862 01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:55,999 you've had a 863 01:02:55,999 --> 01:02:56,080 you've had a tango 864 01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:56,680 you've had a tango enema. 865 01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:56,920 you've had a tango enema. I 866 01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:57,279 you've had a tango enema. I think 867 01:02:57,279 --> 01:02:58,079 you've had a tango enema. I think it 868 01:02:58,079 --> 01:02:58,840 it is 869 01:02:58,840 --> 01:02:59,759 it is "Britain's 870 01:02:59,759 --> 01:03:01,799 it is "Britain's oddest 871 01:03:01,799 --> 01:03:02,079 it is "Britain's oddest twins 872 01:03:02,079 --> 01:03:02,240 it is "Britain's oddest twins exposed." 873 01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:02,480 exposed." Is 874 01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,599 exposed." Is it 875 01:03:05,599 --> 01:03:05,719 exposed." Is it Brown 876 01:03:05,719 --> 01:03:06,559 exposed." Is it Brown impersonsates 877 01:03:06,559 --> 01:03:06,760 exposed." Is it Brown impersonsates cricket 878 01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:07,000 cricket umpire. 879 01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:07,240 cricket umpire. Take 880 01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:08,039 cricket umpire. Take the 881 01:03:08,039 --> 01:03:08,320 cricket umpire. Take the game 882 01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:08,519 cricket umpire. Take the game seriously. 883 01:03:08,519 --> 01:03:08,759 seriously. It's 884 01:03:08,759 --> 01:03:09,239 seriously. It's very 885 01:03:09,239 --> 01:03:09,320 seriously. It's very difficult 886 01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:09,599 seriously. It's very difficult to 887 01:03:09,599 --> 01:03:09,800 seriously. It's very difficult to get 888 01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:10,640 get all 889 01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:11,680 get all the 890 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:11,920 get all the letters 891 01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:12,160 get all the letters right. 892 01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:12,880 get all the letters right. You're 893 01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:13,080 get all the letters right. You're not 894 01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:13,439 not looking 895 01:03:13,439 --> 01:03:14,279 not looking at 896 01:03:14,279 --> 01:03:14,519 not looking at the 897 01:03:14,519 --> 01:03:14,719 not looking at the rules. 898 01:03:14,719 --> 01:03:14,960 not looking at the rules. It's 899 01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:15,319 not looking at the rules. It's hard 900 01:03:15,319 --> 01:03:15,560 not looking at the rules. It's hard to 901 01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:15,760 to get 902 01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:16,479 to get all 903 01:03:16,479 --> 01:03:16,720 to get all the 904 01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:17,439 to get all the letters. 905 01:03:17,439 --> 01:03:17,680 to get all the letters. That's 906 01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:17,919 to get all the letters. That's why 907 01:03:17,919 --> 01:03:18,239 to get all the letters. That's why it 908 01:03:18,239 --> 01:03:19,799 it is 909 01:03:19,799 --> 01:03:20,039 it is a 910 01:03:20,039 --> 01:03:21,839 it is a quiz. 911 01:03:21,839 --> 01:03:22,039 it is a quiz. Is 912 01:03:22,039 --> 01:03:22,280 it is a quiz. Is it, 913 01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:22,520 it is a quiz. Is it, Bill 914 01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:24,319 it is a quiz. Is it, Bill Oddie 915 01:03:24,319 --> 01:03:25,160 it is a quiz. Is it, Bill Oddie is 916 01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:25,640 it is a quiz. Is it, Bill Oddie is in 917 01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:25,840 in tit 918 01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:25,919 in tit extravaganza. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:10,00 www.opensubtitles.org