1 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:15,320 Tonight, James goes racing in Finland. 2 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,480 Richard tries out the future of motoring in Japan. 3 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,360 And I cut up some wood near Godalming. 4 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,880 APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING 5 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,280 Good evening, hello. Hello, everybody. 6 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,240 And welcome to what's a great show for me. 7 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,360 Er, but first, OK, every year, Toyota, which, as we know, 8 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:47,120 makes everything from Formula One cars, to big desert bashing off-roaders for the United Nations, 9 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:53,080 says to its engineers, "Have a couple of weeks off, let your mind roam free, go mad. 10 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,840 "Let's see what you come up with." 11 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:59,800 And what they've come up with this year is, as I've been finding out, amazing. 12 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:09,240 To get to this new car, I had to go to Toyota City, which is a whole city owned by Toyota. 13 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,560 Imagine Birmingham, but full of Toyotas. 14 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:17,160 The car was held here, in their brand new fortress of excellence headquarters. 15 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,560 So things were looking good. 16 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,280 Right. Er, here it is. 17 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,480 There's no getting away from it. 18 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,720 What we have here... 19 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,240 is a chair. 20 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,800 It is quite a special chair, though. 21 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:51,160 They have said I can drive it today, here, in this room. 22 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,480 But they are quite nervous. 23 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:58,880 Put it this way, this is usually an office full of people, and desks. 24 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,560 It's called the iReal 25 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:10,160 and Toyota are hailing it as the future of personal transportation. 26 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,320 'Before I drove it, though, I was taken to meet its inventor.' 27 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,640 He explained the concept and the philosophy. 28 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,960 (HE SPEAKS IN JAPANESE) 29 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,480 And then he waited for me to ask a question. 30 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,800 The trouble is, it's a while since Top Gear has done a grown-up interview. 31 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,760 Will you make a big one for fat people? 32 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,920 Interview over. 33 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:43,360 I was briefed on how to use the toggles that control the throttle, the steering and the brakes. 34 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,960 LONG TONE 35 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,600 Wow! That's the horn? 36 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,360 'And then I was off.' 37 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,080 They are very polite people, so I'm saying this quietly. 38 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,600 We have had something similar in the UK for some time. 39 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,840 Called a wheelchair. 40 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:22,000 However, when no-one was looking, I left the room and discovered that it was so much more than a wheelchair. 41 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:28,160 In this mode, for example, the electric motors are trolleying me along at walking pace. 42 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,560 But if I want to go faster, I just press this button, 43 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:37,280 and then it drops down into sleek aerodynamic mode. 44 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,880 Top speed then - 20 mph. 45 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,600 Now, most creations like this are built just to get some coverage on motor shows. 46 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:55,320 But Toyota aims to put the iReal on sale in 2010, for around £2,000. 47 00:03:55,360 --> 00:04:00,280 The plan is that we'll be using them for short journeys around town. 48 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:04,000 And don't think OAP mobility scooter. 49 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:08,280 Hip young things will forsake walking entirely and cruise around in these 50 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:13,200 at night, downloading tunes to their iPod from their iReal. 51 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,320 And these machines can talk to each other, too. 52 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:21,360 Say I want a coffee. Well, I can tell the machine, coffee. 53 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,880 It will then find the nearest coffee shop. 54 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,640 Tap it again and it will tell other iReal users 55 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,720 in the area that I'm going for a coffee, ask them if they want to join me. 56 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:37,440 So I'm now sending the message out to other iReal users, I'm off for coffee. 57 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,000 Come with me. 58 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:43,280 So you'll have a whole community of futuristic wheelchairs, going around 59 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:50,360 talking to one another, communicating about one another, like a sort of Stephen Hawking Facebook. 60 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,480 So, there you are. 61 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,120 The future of motoring. 62 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,600 Unless you're fat. 63 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:00,960 APPLAUSE 64 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,480 Well done, you. 65 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,680 Unfortunately, that means you can't have one, I'm sorry. 66 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,440 What? Because I've got too much dignity? No, fatty, you couldn't fit in it! 67 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,440 I'm not interested. 68 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:20,280 I'm not bothered about that because Honda has made an even better car, right. Here it is. 69 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,440 Now check that out.What? 70 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,720 How does that work?Well, basically, the silver things kind of 71 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:32,560 move up and down, and operate your legs, so, for going upstairs, or even walking on level ground. 72 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,160 Now guess who this is aimed at? 73 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:39,360 Well, I'm guessing people with disabilities, with legs, that's a clever piece of technology. 74 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:43,120 No, wrong, wrong. It's aimed at the able bodied.But why? 75 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,880 It's the Rotherham Robot. 76 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,600 You don't even have to walk to the chip shop anymore. Now you just go on that. 77 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,120 Well, what's the point in that?No, hang on, no, how fast does it go? 78 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,920 Dunno.I was at school in Rotherham and I could have done with that in cross country. 79 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,560 If you had one of those, mate, I'd love to have the remote control for it. 80 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,400 Captain Blur, look at him go! 81 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:08,000 Ha ha ha. James, not in the scissor factory, you'll hurt yourself! 82 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,000 Can you kick yourself in the nuts? Yes! 83 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,320 Many times. Bang, bang, bang. 84 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:18,680 We're definitely going to get you one of those.With a remote control. Yeah. Now. 85 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:22,360 Geoff Hoon, OK, is the Transport Minister, yes? 86 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:28,280 And he announced this week he wants to have more average speed cameras on the roads, 87 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,640 because he says they're good for safety and they reduce fuel consumption. 88 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:37,680 Now this is the same Geoff Hoon who, when he was Defence Secretary, said, and I'm quoting, 89 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:42,640 "We know that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction." 90 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,560 So he must be right about the speed cameras as well, then. 91 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,880 Yes, absolutely. I tell you what he's done. 92 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,960 Because he claims he goes on the M1 a lot in those roadworks. 93 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:56,440 You know, around Junction 6, 8, they've been doing them since 1850. 94 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,720 Forever. Yeah. Average speed cameras on that. 95 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,480 And he says, there you are, there's hardly been any accidents. 96 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,320 That's because the roads are jammed up!Not moving. 97 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,560 You can't crash when you're stationary. 98 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,720 Soon, though, we'll have that Tory transport bloke. 99 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,320 Whose name is?Er... 100 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,880 AUDIENCE MEMBER: Theresa Villiers. Who? 101 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,920 Theresa Villiers.That's a funny name for a bloke.Theresa..? 102 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,840 Villiers.Villiers. Tory Transport Secretary. 103 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,240 How can you know that?! 104 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,520 LAUGHTER 105 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,120 He is Theresa whatever. 106 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,400 Because there's only a finite amount of space for information in your head. 107 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,840 So if he's got that in it, what's come out? 108 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,120 How to dress properly? 109 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,760 Well done. Theresa... So actually this man's a woman. 110 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,920 That's fascinating because she hasn't really got any policies across that we've ever seen. 111 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,240 Not that we've heard of.So we've had to come up with some of our own. 112 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:56,480 A better system than the average speed camera, OK? Look at this. 113 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,760 So, this is real, this is in Denmark. 114 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,200 Loo what they're doing there. 115 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,600 LAUGHTER 116 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:04,800 It's brilliant. 117 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:12,160 Give me one good reason why that won't work? 118 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,400 You'd slow down.I'd slow right down. 119 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:20,120 Once again, Top Gear rides to the rescue of the nation. 120 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:25,840 Er, what's next, guys?Yes, I want to talk about Aston Martin, brought out a new car, it's the One-77. 121 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:26,880 Here it is. 122 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,400 It's a striking looking thing, I know. And I think it goes to show 123 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,520 just how in tune with the times Aston Martin are. 124 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,480 It really is a car for the moment. 125 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,680 7.3 litre V12. 126 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,280 Oh, I'm glad about that. 127 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:44,960 I must get 100 calls a day from people saying, I've got to have at least 7.3 litres and 12 cylinders. 128 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,680 That's what I want right now. Very much of the moment, absolutely. 129 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,080 Price - £1.2 million. 130 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,880 Oh, good thinking(!) 131 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:59,760 Literally this morning, 30 people called up, "I'm not spending a penny more than 1.2 mill on my next car." 132 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,040 Aston have got it bang on, because as we know, the world 133 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,800 right now is full of stockbrokers desperate for something to blow their enormous bonus on, and there it is. 134 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:11,480 Pretty soon, Aston Martin are going to be selling more keyrings than they are cars. 135 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,640 Or making more money from them at least. 136 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:18,720 Actually, they say that 100 potential customers have written to them to express their interest. 137 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,280 A hundred? 138 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,480 Yeah. Written in crayon, I suspect! 139 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,440 Great news. 140 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,840 They've done an off-road version of the Dacia Sandero. 141 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,240 Don't be fooled by the Renault badge. That's the Dacia, that baby. 142 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,480 What the hell are you on about? 143 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,000 It's a Dacia. 144 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,840 It's a Dacia. I know it says Ren... I've just said that. 145 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,920 Have you got a beard in your ears as well? 146 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:52,080 Why do ginger people always grow more of it on their faces? They don't!They do. 147 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,040 Can I just ask? 148 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,480 You see the show last week, Will Young was the guest. 149 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:02,480 And I don't know if anybody else noticed, but when he first sat down, Jeremy was not really bothered, 150 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,680 he didn't know his name, didn't know what to talk about. 151 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,960 Next minute, he's going all doe-eyed looking at him, talking... 152 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,520 Talking about interior design. 153 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:15,640 "Oh, Will, I love cushions as well, I'm having my house done up. Really? 154 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:18,600 "You had a Mini? They're lovely, Will." 155 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,480 (HE HUMS THE TUNE TO LOVE STORY) 156 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,240 Jeremy's in love! 157 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,120 Are you suggesting Will Young is gay? 158 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,000 Yeah, yeah, he is. 159 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,880 You're kidding!Yes.Is he? 160 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,640 To be honest, it was beautiful to watch. 161 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:38,160 It's just my gaydar doesn't work as well as yours, obviously. 162 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:43,000 That jacket. How big was the bet? Pretty big.OK. 163 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:48,160 I want you to look at this. This is a field of unsold Range Rovers. 164 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,520 Do you know why they're unsold? Nobody's got any money. 165 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:53,480 No, look at the colours. 166 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,680 That the range of colour that Land Rover does. 167 00:10:55,720 --> 00:11:03,680 Now if you go down to Homebase to paint your walls, you can have any colour you like for a fiver. 168 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:07,320 Actually you can go in with that jacket, well, maybe not, you could go in with this shirt and 169 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:12,440 you could say, I want that colour, but a bit more orange, and they'd scan it with a thing.Exactly. 170 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,200 It's just not good enough. Look at this. 171 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:21,440 What I've got here, is the Audi brochure for the A8, a £70,000 car. 172 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,640 Range of colours available. 173 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:27,920 There you go.They've printed it in black and white!That's it, OK. 174 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:35,200 For an extra £2,400, they will paint it in any colour you like, from that chart. 175 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,160 That's just a spectrum. 176 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,960 Yes."Oh, sir wants it in visible light, does he?" 177 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,760 If you want your car in colour, £2,400. 178 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,200 If you want it in black and white. It's just ridiculous. 179 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:52,200 Well, what you need to do is buy a BMW X5. Because they understand this problem. 180 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,600 They have a special range which they call "BMW Individual, 181 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,360 "the higher your standards, the less room there is for compromise." 182 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,280 As an upshot of that, they offer it in... 183 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:05,200 Black, silver, silver, and black! 184 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,520 Gentlemen, you're getting all hot under your tweed collars about this. 185 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:14,400 Can I just say, I know a little bit about this, and the reason that car manufacturers... 186 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:19,680 They have to plan their paint colours years in advance because they have to test that each colour works 187 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:25,120 on the plastic of, say, the bumpers, and on the metal of the body, on those two materials... 188 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,000 Rubbish.They do.You say it has to be the same colour whether it's on plastic or metal?Yes. 189 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,480 No, because I was painting my sitting room the other day, and the 190 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:36,120 paint was exactly the same colour on the wall as it was on the wooden skirting board and on my hand, 191 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:40,360 and on the sole of my shoe, and subsequently on the stair carpet, all exactly the same colour. 192 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,200 I really want to show you this. 193 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:48,560 This is the Mercedes CLK. Can you see down here? These are soft-top fabric, OK? 194 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,800 Do you want to know what it says underneath? Cabriolet only.Ah! 195 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,280 I want to have it on my hard top! 196 00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:01,360 Now, in a couple of weeks, James is doing his first ever supercar test out on our track. OK? 197 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,120 AUDIENCE: Whoo! 198 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,840 Now, shall we be honest? 199 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:10,680 James is not the fastest driver in the world and nor does he have the best sense of direction. 200 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:14,520 So, before letting him loose on our track in a very fast car, 201 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,200 we thought he should get some training. 202 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:20,720 So we said to him, "James, go anywhere you like for your training, just not Finland." 203 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,480 Finland. 204 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:29,920 According to a study by Leicester University, the sixth happiest country in the world. 205 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,240 Finns also top the world league table for coffee drinking, 206 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:38,760 and they borrow more library books per head than any nation on Earth. 207 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,320 Which is all very interesting. 208 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,920 But it doesn't explain this. 209 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:51,960 There's a popular saying in motor sport - "If you want to win, employed a Finn." 210 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,840 This sparsely-populated country has produced more rally champions, seven in total, 211 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:05,360 than any other nation. It has also produced more F1 world champions than anywhere else. 212 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,360 So, what's going on up there? 213 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:16,680 One of the reasons for Finnish driving prowess must be 214 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,480 quite simply they take driving very, very seriously. 215 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,640 Right from day one. 216 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,480 This is Petkr. 217 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:30,160 He's not a hoodie in a stolen a car, he's having a driving lesson. 218 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:35,640 And, like everyone else in Finland, he has to spend six of them on a skid pan. 219 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:43,680 He will also have lessons driving in the dark, and it will be three years before he gets a full licence. 220 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,360 It's all very strict. 221 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:53,280 And it needs to be, to be honest, because this is a typical Finnish back road. 222 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,720 It's full of sudden crests and hidden dips. 223 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,120 So as you drive along, you need to know about power on, power off, 224 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,240 feeling the car go light and the grip disappear. 225 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,440 You're going to become a racing driver. 226 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,400 So, to find out how the Finns wrap all this up into one big 227 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,400 bundle of skill, I went for a drive with one of the locals. 228 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:17,640 Unfortunately, the only person I could find was a retired bloke. 229 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:21,120 Mind you, he's still quite sprightly. 230 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,760 COMMENTATOR: It's Hakkinen. He's going through the left-hander. 231 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,440 Mika Hakkinen won the F1 World Championship twice, 232 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:40,880 on both occasions, beating the most successful driver of all time. 233 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:45,360 Michael Schumacher said you were the only driver he really feared. 234 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,600 (HE LAUGHS) 235 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,480 So where did you learn car control? Because they say the Finns 236 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:56,240 have an instinct for it that other nations on Earth don't have. You can just do it. 237 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,440 We start doing this sport very, very young. 238 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,160 So automatically we learn car control. 239 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,480 I give you an example. If you put a British person 240 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:12,760 learning to play cricket when he's 25 years old, it's too late to understand the name of the game. 241 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,080 Are you thinking through these corners or do you just feel it and you know? 242 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,880 No, honestly, what's going on now, we are going really slowly. 243 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,080 Are we?Yeah. 244 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:34,520 Sitting next to Mika, you get a fantastic demonstration of Finnish car control. 245 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,760 But, if I was to learn more, I couldn't just be a passenger. 246 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,960 Tomorrow, in the interests of science, though probably more 247 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:50,680 for your entertainment I suspect, the office has entered me in an amateur race on a rally circuit. 248 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:55,040 Thankfully, though, Mika has offered to train me up. 249 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,880 There's something else about Mika. He's not just helpful. 250 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,280 He's quite modest. 251 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,560 Last year, I went out with Jackie Stewart and he won the 252 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:20,440 World Championship three times only, instead of just two! Wow! 253 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:25,640 He taught me to be quite smooth and fast on a Tarmac circuit. 254 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:29,600 But can you teach me to be Finnish fast on a loose surface, do you think? 255 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,480 I can indeed. 256 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,600 The first and most important thing Mika would teach me 257 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,720 was a cornering move known as the Scandinavian flick. 258 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,080 And because he didn't want his mate's rally car 259 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:51,880 wrapped around a tree, we started off with some cones. 260 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:58,720 When we come with the car, how to trace the back end to touching all of these cones to find a perfect slide. 261 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,200 OK, this is how we get the back end around. 262 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,760 Then it was my turn. 263 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:12,440 A little left, a little right, on the gas, get the back end loose. 264 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,520 That's not enough, is it? 265 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,960 Action! 266 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,000 Better than the first run. 267 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,560 And then, finally... 268 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,880 You did it! You did it! 269 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,880 That's the Finnish way. 270 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:41,320 After we demolished all his cones, I took Mika out on the proper course. 271 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,280 Which he found relaxing. 272 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,800 A second turn in. A bit of a flick. 273 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:49,880 That wasn't bad. 274 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,920 Whoa! 275 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,920 Sorry, I forgot which way to go there. OK, third. 276 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,000 And then, with Yoda's guidance... 277 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,160 Now, back end out nicely here. Stay on the gas. Yeah, good. 278 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,600 Beautiful. 279 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:11,600 ..it all came together. Oh-ho, good, excellent. 280 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,840 Lesson over, we stopped for a cup of hot reindeer blood 281 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:23,120 and talked about why the Finns are so suited to motor sport. 282 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,800 Tell me a bit about Sisu. What's Sisu? 283 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,960 Sisu in English means "courage". 284 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,080 What is to Finns is courage. 285 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:38,240 Let me give you an example. OK, climbing a tree and jump down from there, so that doesn't mean Sisu. 286 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,800 That is not courage. 287 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,040 That's stupidity.Exactly. 288 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,200 Sisu we can relate very much in motor racing. 289 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,600 For example, you drive a rally car in a forest, extremely really fast, 290 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:55,800 and you need courage to be able to brake late, to go throttle really early. 291 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,240 Go very close to the apex of the corners. 292 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:03,400 And also, they're quite reserved, the Finns. 293 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:07,200 I mean, you, famously, when you were Formula One driving, they'd ask you 294 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:12,400 a really complicated question, and you'd just say, "yes".Yes. That's right.Yes. 295 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,640 The reason I'm asking you is because I wondered if I might be 296 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,520 in some way a bit Finnish myself. 297 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:23,800 I don't like noisy people, so does that make me Finnish, do you think? 298 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,880 Yes. At home I quite like to have the 299 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:33,480 spanners in my tool box in order of size, so that I can always find the right one. Is that quite Finnish? 300 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,520 Yes, it is, very much. Personally, that's what I do. 301 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:40,240 If you're talking about the tool box, everything has to be very organised. 302 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:47,040 I quite like to have the air vents on my car all pointing the same way exactly. Is that Finnish? 303 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,840 Er... 304 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,600 No. 305 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:57,040 The next day it was time for me to mix it with the Finns. 306 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,000 I'd been entered in one of their folk races, which are run on part 307 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:06,560 Tarmac, part gravel, and take place every weekend, all over Finland. 308 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:12,160 The Finns had kindly sorted me out with a typical folk racing car. 309 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:17,320 A 1967 Volvo Amazon. 310 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:23,640 In actual fact it has 200 hp, but in every other respect, it's scrap. 311 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,320 But there's a very good reason for this. 312 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,240 There's a clever rule in folk racing. 313 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:32,520 All the cars in the race are given a nominal and equal value, let's say it's 1,000 euros. 314 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,520 Then at the end of the race, you can go to any other competitor and say, 315 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,720 I want to buy your car, and he or she has to sell it to you. 316 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:45,080 It stops people spending too much money, getting sponsorship and generally taking it too seriously. 317 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:52,680 It also means that the cars stay equal and the racing stays close, which in turn sharpens the skills. 318 00:21:52,720 --> 00:22:00,320 But frankly, when the other drivers arrived, I stopped worrying about their skills. 319 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,440 The bloke over there is about 85. 320 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:07,240 And alongside him, the grid featured some housewives... 321 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,120 a child, a teenager... 322 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,640 and Bill Oddie. 323 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,280 Surely this can't be that difficult? 324 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,360 That girl next to me should be doing her maths homework. 325 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,280 Here we go. 326 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,680 By the time we hit the first corner, it was obvious these were 327 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:41,360 no ordinary pensioners, children, housewives and Bill Oddies. 328 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,080 Ow! 329 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,360 After you, Granddad. 330 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,960 Have a Scandinavian flick, Finnish person! 331 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,560 Damn, damn, I've lost it. 332 00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:04,440 'I'd forgotten what Mika had said, these guys start doing this as soon as they can see over the wheel.' 333 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:05,960 I'm getting burned. 334 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,200 'I started to fight back.' 335 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:19,240 I've passed the BMW! That was an overtake on a Finnish person. 336 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,360 She's only 12 but that's not the point. 337 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:26,520 'But the 12-year-old wasn't having it.' 338 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,120 Oi! 339 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,680 Now normally I'd have been happy to stay there in the nice comfy ditch. 340 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,760 But that's not what Mike would have wanted. 341 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,000 It was time to summon up some Sisu. 342 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:51,800 I'm going to have the Volvo. 343 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,760 Opportunity for overtaking. 344 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,960 'Using Mika's training, I overtook a housewife.' 345 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,120 Chance for glory. 346 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,960 'And then Granddad.' 347 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,600 'But Bill Oddie was too much for me.' 348 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,360 'And in the end I finished somewhere near the middle.' 349 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:30,040 I think all my top level Finnish motor sport training has made me exactly average. 350 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,160 But that was average in Finland. 351 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,400 Anywhere else and I'd have been brilliant. 352 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,320 APPLAUSE 353 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:43,760 Are you ready then for your power time?Yeah. 354 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:49,800 Let me get this right. To pass your driving test in Finland, you have to be able to powerslide a car? 355 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:55,400 Absolutely.That's brilliant. But not as brilliant as something I've just thought of.Oh, God. 356 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,840 No, no. We know that nobody is buying V8 cars anymore, OK? 357 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:04,920 And I find that very sad. I don't want V8s to disappear into the pages of history. 358 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,640 So, how's this for an idea? 359 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:13,440 If you're not going to use V8s to power cars, how about using them to power something else? 360 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,280 Like, for instance, a food blender? 361 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,440 This is what I've got here in essence. 362 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:23,320 This is the 6.2 litre engine that you would normally put in a Corvette. 363 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:26,000 I see no reason why you couldn't put it in a kitchen. 364 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:31,440 So, here it is. There's the drive shaft going under the petrol tank into the kitchen cabinet. 365 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,760 You'll have to take out the wedding presents, the fondue sets you don't want. 366 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:41,600 Because, in here, you've got the diff, which then sends the drive shaft up here, and into the blender. 367 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,600 Very good. So what can you blend with it? I could blend you if I wanted to. 368 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:52,600 What I'm actually going to do, under this high visibility shield here, is blend some beef. 369 00:25:52,640 --> 00:26:00,000 Beef?Beef, yes, beef. This is going to be a man's V8 smoothie that I'm going to make now. 370 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,240 So I'm going to plonk that in there like that. 371 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,800 Does that still have bones in it? 372 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,000 Yes. And then... 373 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,800 I'm going to put some chillies in. 374 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:13,080 This is Bovril. Because that's a V8 man's drink. 375 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,800 That's a collection of manly ingredients. 376 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,160 Yeah, haven't finished yet. Tabasco. Nice touch. 377 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,840 That wasn't...Just a dash 378 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:31,240 of that in there. And I think, for added bite, a brick. 379 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,800 It is actually a brick. 380 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,120 Oh, it's broken, but there we are. Pop that in there. Now we pop the lid on. 381 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:40,120 Perhaps you could give me a hand with this, Hammond. Because it's quite complicated. 382 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,480 Yes, I'm the practical man. 383 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,680 Those go on here like that. So we do it up. 384 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:49,240 Is this going to work, or is the top going to come off and we'll have a really hard time explaining 385 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,800 to the ambulance people how he's got beef bone antlers stuck in his head? 386 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,640 Just worried.Relax. 387 00:26:54,680 --> 00:27:00,320 Yeah, relax when you've got the keys to a V8 blender.Right. 388 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:05,440 This is the controls.Oh, God, tell me that's not an accelerator pedal! Yes. 389 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,200 Safety precautions. 390 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,480 Is it loud? 391 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,840 Is it loud, James? Of course it's loud. Are we ready? 392 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:21,240 Here we go! This is in the kitchen at home, yeah? 393 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,520 MOTOR REVS EXTREMELY LOUDLY 394 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,040 It does make a bit of a racket. 395 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,040 CHEERING AND WHISTLES 396 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:47,800 Some of it came out. 397 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,560 Yeah, some of it did. 398 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,520 Actually, on the noise, we're used to vacuum cleaners and things at home, 399 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,720 so I think you'd grow accustomed to that after a while. 400 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,560 The thing is, what I'd like to do is, 401 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:02,320 whenever my wife puts the Archers on, which she does roundabout 7pm, I'd fire up my food blender. 402 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:05,560 Nice.Can you get the thing off? I'll prepare the glasses. 403 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,760 So this is like a manly smoothie cocktail? 404 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,600 Exactly. 405 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,760 This is the moment.Yes, yes! 406 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,320 Look at that! 407 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:18,960 That just is the business!Fantastic. 408 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,520 And delicious. Right, are we ready? 409 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,560 What a creation.Hmm. Here we go. 410 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,160 Get some of the bits. It needs a name. 411 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:30,360 We should give it a name. We should call it, um, Desperate Shag In A Skip. 412 00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:36,120 Try some of that.A Quick One Round The Back Of The Dustcart. 413 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,640 AUDIENCE GASP AND THEN LAUGH 414 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,520 I think he likes it. 415 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,400 I've got the name for it.What? 416 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,080 The Bloody Awful. 417 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,680 Have you tried it?Yeah. 418 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,960 You haven't. Have you?Yes. 419 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,320 Show me. Put it in your mouth. Because that will put... 420 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,080 AUDIENCE GROAN 421 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,320 That will put testes on your chest, that will. 422 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,000 It's put hairs on my eyeballs. 423 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,960 I'm not sure this works. 424 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,720 Look. 425 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:23,880 I'm not giving up with this V8 idea, OK? Next week, old people. 426 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,200 You can't blend old people.No, you know the Stannah stairlift? 427 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,880 Very slow. How about a V8 Stannah stairlift? 428 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,920 The old lady, she'll be on the bog in half a second.Yeah, that's it. 429 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,280 So I'll get working on that. But that's then. 430 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:41,560 This is now, and it's time to put a star in our reasonably priced car. 431 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,520 Now my guest tonight has had an extraordinary life. 432 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,200 He's nicked a load of gold from the Iraqis. 433 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:49,960 He's nicked gold from the Italians. 434 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,840 He's shot Matt Damon in the face. 435 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:55,000 He's died when his trawler sank in a storm. 436 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,800 And he's had a very enormous penis. 437 00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:58,840 LAUGHTER 438 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,760 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mark Wahlberg! 439 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 440 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,200 How are you? 441 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:09,920 How are you?Good.Have a seat. 442 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:24,120 Mark, don't drink that. Don't...! Don't put it in your mouth! 443 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,160 It's brick and beef. It's not gone well! 444 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,960 I've got a couple of questions. It's very rare we get big American actors. 445 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,400 It's because Ross isn't around at the moment, so you're here. 446 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,600 LAUGHTER 447 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,720 I was on that show with Andrew Lloyd Webber. 448 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:46,560 His face is on inside-out, have you noticed?It's so weird. It's my second encounter with him. 449 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:51,240 The first time I saw him, I was at a heliport, going to Birmingham with George Clooney, 450 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,800 and George Clooney goes up and tells him, "Mark Wahlberg's over there, he's a huge fan." 451 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,360 He comes over, talking to me for half an hour. I didn't know who he was! 452 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:00,560 LAUGHTER 453 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,720 I was like, you know, "Phantom of the Opera? What is that?" 454 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,360 He's never done any rap songs. No hip hop. 455 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,200 He's not really from the hood! 456 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:15,320 The new film. I want to talk to you about that, if I may, Max Payne. 457 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:16,360 What's it about? 458 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:21,240 I play a homicide cop, the title character, whose wife and child are brutally murdered. 459 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:26,200 And I basically get to go and destroy everyone else that's responsible, even remotely. 460 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,840 It's an edge-of-the-seat proper action movie. 461 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,600 A Sunday-afternoon, relaxing, fighty film, which is what you need. 462 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,400 We've got a clip of it. 463 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:38,280 This is Jim Bravura. What unit is responding to the exit call? 464 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:41,800 You mean nobody's called anything in yet?! 465 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,160 'Would you like to report something?'Yes! 466 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,000 We need to come in, now! 467 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,760 Not a chance!Clear! 468 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,040 He's gone! 469 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,200 Great job, boys(!) 470 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:22,840 You see what you did? You let him get away. Everybody's going to get a medal for this - great(!) 471 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,120 APPLAUSE 472 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:31,600 It's not an adaptation of a Jane Austen book, is it?No, this is not. 473 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:37,880 This is the real deal, working with John, who is definitely one of the best action directors out there. 474 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,320 He really pushed the envelope. He's here. John Moore. 475 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,880 He's The Stig.He is not The Stig. 476 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,960 He is The Stig! 477 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,200 Not unless he can pump himself up! 478 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:51,880 Next question I've got, and this is an important one, OK? 479 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,960 There's a girl in this Max Payne movie who's called Olga Kurylenko. 480 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,880 Yes, the new Bond girl. 481 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:04,920 She's in that Bond film, and James Bond doesn't do having sex with her. 482 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:12,720 In Max Payne, she's lying in your bed, wearing, let's be honest, not much, and you go, "Oh, no." 483 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,920 Why? Have we got a picture of her? I want you to see what these guys... This is her. 484 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,600 Has she got a beard or something? LAUGHTER 485 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:27,600 Another John Moore question, because we could have easily shot the sex scene and not put it in the movie! 486 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,320 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 487 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,280 There's many other scenes 488 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,400 that ended up on the editing room floor! 489 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:42,720 Are you the first action hero ever to have a side parting, here? 490 00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:19,220 Obviously, you know, Michael Caine. So it was a big deal coming over here. 491 00:34:19,260 --> 00:34:22,460 We wanted to make sure we could make a really cool movie. 492 00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:24,700 To be honest, I thought it was a very cool movie. 493 00:34:24,740 --> 00:34:27,340 I've heard there'll be a sequel to The Italian Job? 494 00:34:27,380 --> 00:34:30,220 They've been trying to make a sequel for quite some time. 495 00:34:30,260 --> 00:34:34,580 I don't want to do it for the sake of it. If we can't make it better, I don't want to do it. 496 00:34:34,620 --> 00:34:37,100 They haven't been able to get the script in shape. 497 00:34:37,140 --> 00:34:38,660 The worrying thing is the title. 498 00:34:38,700 --> 00:34:40,540 The Brazilian Job?You see... 499 00:34:40,580 --> 00:34:42,460 LAUGHTER 500 00:34:44,020 --> 00:34:45,540 Does that translate? 501 00:34:45,580 --> 00:34:49,820 That's a you know what...Yes. Have you got one?No. 502 00:34:49,860 --> 00:34:53,500 You've got one?!Oh, I thought you were asking me! 503 00:34:53,540 --> 00:34:55,140 Come on up here! 504 00:34:55,180 --> 00:34:58,860 What's the most enjoyable film you've worked on, excluding Max Payne? 505 00:34:58,900 --> 00:35:01,900 Probably The Departed. 506 00:35:01,940 --> 00:35:06,660 The talent in that one. There's you, DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon... 507 00:35:06,700 --> 00:35:10,180 ..Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen. What made it so much fun? 508 00:35:10,220 --> 00:35:12,540 Because it was my neck of the woods. 509 00:35:12,580 --> 00:35:16,580 I've had a lot of experience with the Boston Police Department! 510 00:35:16,620 --> 00:35:17,860 LAUGHTER 511 00:35:17,900 --> 00:35:21,060 And finally being able to put all that to good use, you know, 512 00:35:21,100 --> 00:35:26,100 playing a cop instead of being arrested by them, was fun. 513 00:35:26,140 --> 00:35:29,860 You did have... How can I phrase this? A wild... 514 00:35:29,900 --> 00:35:32,740 A wild upbringing, shall we say? Is that fair enough?Yes. 515 00:35:32,780 --> 00:35:36,940 Yes.Let's put it like this. Your first cars, you didn't buy them. 516 00:35:36,980 --> 00:35:39,020 Not all of them. 517 00:35:39,060 --> 00:35:42,740 Actually, the first one that I kind of owned, I bought from a friend. 518 00:35:42,780 --> 00:35:46,460 I was 13 years old, I didn't have a licence. I wasn't registered insured. 519 00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:48,900 But I stole quite a few cars in my day. 520 00:35:48,940 --> 00:35:52,260 Did you steal the same guy's car a few...?I did. He was... 521 00:35:52,300 --> 00:35:54,220 How many times did you steal his car? 522 00:35:54,260 --> 00:35:57,020 Probably, like, 10 or 15. 523 00:35:57,060 --> 00:35:59,980 I'd drive around, he'd find it or the cops would find it, 524 00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:02,820 bring it back, I'd walk down the street, jump in the car, 525 00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:05,540 pinch the window, unlock it and jump back in and start it. 526 00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:10,460 He'd come running outside, chasing me. I'd be like, "Hey,BLEEPyou! See you later!" 527 00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:13,060 I want to apologise. I probably cost him heartache. 528 00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:16,300 He probably missed work because I went joyriding in his car. 529 00:36:50,340 --> 00:36:55,660 You're what we call a petrolhead. I don't know what you call them over there? Rivetheads? 530 00:36:55,700 --> 00:36:58,380 Gearhead.Gearhead. That's what I was looking for. 531 00:36:58,420 --> 00:37:00,420 Your cars have been good, 532 00:37:00,460 --> 00:37:04,420 looking back through the history. What was the first one? SL Mercedes? 533 00:37:04,460 --> 00:37:08,220 Yeah, a brand-new car, that was the first one I bought. 534 00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:09,940 And now you have...?A Maybach. 535 00:37:09,980 --> 00:37:11,700 The big one, 62 inch. 536 00:37:11,740 --> 00:37:13,740 LAUGHTER 537 00:37:13,780 --> 00:37:16,500 On purpose, or was it in a cereal packet or something? 538 00:37:16,540 --> 00:37:18,220 LAUGHTER 539 00:37:18,260 --> 00:37:21,740 And then I have a Brabus Mercedes 550. 540 00:37:21,780 --> 00:37:23,060 Tom Cruise is a Brabus fan. 541 00:37:23,100 --> 00:37:25,140 I don't know.Do you not know him? 542 00:37:25,180 --> 00:37:27,260 We attend different churches, so I don't. 543 00:37:27,300 --> 00:37:28,900 LAUGHTER 544 00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:32,380 APPLAUSE 545 00:37:35,580 --> 00:37:38,220 I'm at the one with Jesus, baby! 546 00:37:38,260 --> 00:37:44,380 You came down here, presumably, utterly bewildered that there's a bleak airstrip in the middle 547 00:37:44,420 --> 00:37:47,540 of England with a man who won't take his helmet off called Stig, 548 00:37:47,580 --> 00:37:51,340 who takes you out in a not-very-exciting car with the steering wheel 549 00:37:51,380 --> 00:37:54,820 on the wrong side and a lever sticking up out of the floor. 550 00:37:54,860 --> 00:37:57,900 Did that baffle you, by the way, the lever?It did. What was that? 551 00:37:57,940 --> 00:37:59,580 LAUGHTER 552 00:37:59,620 --> 00:38:06,620 Is that why you didn't treat our car quite as well as, let's say, other people treated it?I'm sorry. 553 00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:10,460 Did you break our car? Ibroke a couple of them, I think. 554 00:38:10,500 --> 00:38:12,620 I heard! There's a cameraman over there, 555 00:38:12,660 --> 00:38:14,340 and some poo came out of him. 556 00:38:14,380 --> 00:38:15,780 LAUGHTER 557 00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:18,100 The crazy thing is, I went so far off the track, 558 00:38:18,140 --> 00:38:20,980 and then next time around, he was in that same exact spot. 559 00:38:21,020 --> 00:38:22,460 I thought, "He's got balls!" 560 00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:23,740 LAUGHTER 561 00:38:23,780 --> 00:38:26,060 I'd just like to see... Go on, sorry. 562 00:38:26,100 --> 00:38:29,620 I'm just glad this isn't how I make my living, because I would be broke! 563 00:38:29,660 --> 00:38:31,940 We don't know. Shall we have a look at the lap? 564 00:38:31,980 --> 00:38:33,740 AUDIENCE:Yeah! Let's play the tape. 565 00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:35,660 'Here we go! 566 00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:37,500 'That's an aggressive start!' 567 00:38:37,540 --> 00:38:38,700 LAUGHTER 568 00:38:38,740 --> 00:38:44,500 'Bloody hell! That's aggressively turned there! And there!' 569 00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:51,260 This is a hunk of crap. 'That's... You've gone mad!' 570 00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:55,260 You've got balls, standing there! 571 00:38:58,700 --> 00:39:01,380 'That's cutting the corner, and that's cutting... 572 00:39:01,420 --> 00:39:02,860 'Is he going to kill this one? 573 00:39:02,900 --> 00:39:05,060 'Were you just aiming for the cameraman?' 574 00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:09,980 ENGLISH ACCENT: Here we are on a race track in the UK, Mark Wahlberg. 575 00:39:10,020 --> 00:39:13,500 'That's Jason Statham, who it actually is! 576 00:39:13,540 --> 00:39:17,300 'That was quick. Close to the tyres, yes! Move those! 577 00:39:17,340 --> 00:39:20,740 'Not quite so quick there, but that's a good line. 578 00:39:20,780 --> 00:39:22,220 'That's not bad. 579 00:39:22,260 --> 00:39:27,380 'Coming up to Michael Gambon corner, and we are across the line!' 580 00:39:27,420 --> 00:39:29,340 APPLAUSE 581 00:39:32,820 --> 00:39:35,260 This is the board. 582 00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:40,500 Since we've had that car, these are the people, most of whom you won't have a clue who they are. 583 00:39:40,540 --> 00:39:43,940 I don't know any of them, really. 584 00:39:43,980 --> 00:39:46,660 Well, you know him, Simon Cowell? 585 00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:50,580 Ray Winstone, I worked with him.Ray Winstone, obviously, The Departed. 586 00:39:50,620 --> 00:39:52,700 Brian Cox. 587 00:39:52,740 --> 00:39:56,460 Yes, he was really dreadful. You want to beat Brian Cox?Yeah. 588 00:39:56,500 --> 00:39:58,660 I've got the time here. 589 00:40:00,340 --> 00:40:02,940 You did it. It was a mad lap, got to be honest. 590 00:40:02,980 --> 00:40:05,380 Super aggressive. You did it... 591 00:40:06,820 --> 00:40:07,820 ..in 1... 592 00:40:07,860 --> 00:40:10,700 So you're better than Brian Cox! 593 00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:13,740 ..48.7. 594 00:40:13,780 --> 00:40:17,660 So he's under the 1:50, give him a round of applause. 595 00:40:17,700 --> 00:40:19,420 APPLAUSE 596 00:40:22,380 --> 00:40:25,780 That's not bad. Somewhere in the middle.That's very good. 597 00:40:25,820 --> 00:40:28,220 The steering wheel was on the correct side... 598 00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:31,660 That's really good, and it's been an absolute joy to have you here. 599 00:40:31,700 --> 00:40:34,100 Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Wahlberg! 600 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:37,220 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 601 00:40:40,060 --> 00:40:46,700 Now, in these dark and difficult times, very few people can afford a Mitsubishi Evo. 602 00:40:46,740 --> 00:40:50,100 Even the base model, the 300, is the best part of 30 grand. 603 00:40:50,140 --> 00:40:53,540 However, the other evening, we decided...In the pub... 604 00:40:53,580 --> 00:40:57,060 Some beer helped us to realise that whatever car you've got, you can 605 00:40:57,100 --> 00:41:01,620 make it as fast as an Evo X, and at a fraction of the cost. 606 00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:04,900 The producers said that sounded like a challenge for us, 607 00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:09,180 so they said they would provide some sort of car, then we'd have two days to modify it 608 00:41:09,220 --> 00:41:14,500 and try and make it faster round our track than a Mitsubishi Evo X. We were very excited about this, 609 00:41:14,540 --> 00:41:19,780 as you can see from the way Jeremy arrives in someone else's Aston Martin. 610 00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:30,100 'The three of us turned up on day one, not knowing what car the producers had bought.' 611 00:41:32,860 --> 00:41:36,740 I reckon it'll be something like a Focus, but a really small-engine one. 612 00:41:44,870 --> 00:41:49,030 We can't start with something like that and get it that fast - it'll be... 613 00:41:49,070 --> 00:41:50,750 Have you met our producers?!Yes. 614 00:41:50,790 --> 00:41:55,110 When was the last time they said, "Here's a job for you, and we've made it easy"?Never. 615 00:41:55,150 --> 00:41:56,390 They're not going to now. 616 00:41:56,430 --> 00:41:58,670 It'll be something... 617 00:42:04,350 --> 00:42:08,110 It's not a Ferrari F430.It's not. 618 00:42:14,390 --> 00:42:15,430 Here we go. 619 00:42:18,590 --> 00:42:19,590 It is... 620 00:42:19,630 --> 00:42:22,510 What that is is a Renault Avantime. 621 00:42:22,550 --> 00:42:24,870 I wasn't expecting that. 622 00:42:26,910 --> 00:42:30,790 Introduced in 2002, the Avantime was a monumental failure. 623 00:42:30,830 --> 00:42:37,710 Only 435 were sold in Britain before it was dropped from the price list after just 18 months. 624 00:42:40,310 --> 00:42:44,230 Weirdly, it's one of the few cars ever made that us three all like. 625 00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,470 Right, so cars that we all like. 626 00:42:46,510 --> 00:42:48,030 This.Yes. 627 00:42:48,070 --> 00:42:50,750 Ford Mondeo.Good one. 628 00:42:50,790 --> 00:42:53,230 This.Subaru Legacy.Yes. 629 00:42:53,270 --> 00:42:58,070 Yes.It's not a big list!That's it! 630 00:43:01,990 --> 00:43:07,910 The most impressive thing in the whole car is just, there's more air in here than there is in Montana. 631 00:43:07,950 --> 00:43:09,550 It's very spacious! 632 00:43:09,590 --> 00:43:13,270 Let's just have a systems check on everything. Heated rear window works. 633 00:43:13,310 --> 00:43:17,230 Heated seats works. All lights working in the back? 634 00:43:17,270 --> 00:43:20,710 I have a selection of lights working. 635 00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:24,950 This is six years old and everything works, which is odd, because most Renaults... 636 00:43:24,990 --> 00:43:26,630 Six minutes. 637 00:43:28,230 --> 00:43:31,790 Then there's the Avantime's party piece. Give it a whirl. 638 00:43:31,830 --> 00:43:34,310 Oh, yeah! 639 00:43:34,350 --> 00:43:36,430 I'm outside! 640 00:43:36,470 --> 00:43:38,310 Look at this! 641 00:43:38,350 --> 00:43:43,110 This is what it's like being a dog. And there's more cleverness. Look at this. 642 00:43:43,150 --> 00:43:48,350 To make getting into the back easier, the doors were very, very long. 643 00:43:48,390 --> 00:43:52,430 You'd imagine that'd make it useless in car parks, but no, they fitted it with 644 00:43:52,470 --> 00:43:59,750 clever double hinges that they called kinematic, and look, in a gap that big, wide open. Very clever. 645 00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:06,390 This was a very intelligent, very unusual and very comfortable car. 646 00:44:06,430 --> 00:44:10,590 However, while it can turn heads, it struggles to turn corners... 647 00:44:10,630 --> 00:44:13,310 Ease it round here. Check it out! 648 00:44:13,350 --> 00:44:15,790 ..as The Stig will now demonstrate. 649 00:44:18,910 --> 00:44:21,030 Three, two, one, hit it! 650 00:44:25,430 --> 00:44:29,150 Even though that's the top-of-the-range model, the Privilege, had a 651 00:44:29,190 --> 00:44:34,590 three-litre V6, know what the nought to 60 was? Nine seconds. What's an Evo? 4.5? 652 00:44:34,630 --> 00:44:36,430 It's about twice as long. 653 00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:43,550 Andthe suspension is for ironing out bumps, not smashing them down with a steel fist. 654 00:44:43,590 --> 00:44:46,190 Not designed to corner level and flat. 655 00:44:46,230 --> 00:44:50,430 Of course, we knew this front-wheel-drive box would be nowhere 656 00:44:50,470 --> 00:44:53,070 near as fast as an Evo round our track. 657 00:44:53,110 --> 00:44:56,870 But we didn't realise how nowhere near. 658 00:44:58,510 --> 00:45:00,430 Go on. 659 00:45:00,470 --> 00:45:02,190 This is the size of the challenge. 660 00:45:02,230 --> 00:45:06,790 What was the Evo?1:28.2. 661 00:45:06,830 --> 00:45:09,830 1:42.5. 662 00:45:09,870 --> 00:45:14,950 The Avantime was more than 14 seconds slower. 663 00:45:14,990 --> 00:45:17,350 Then, things got worse. 664 00:45:17,390 --> 00:45:22,670 "You know you have two days to make your modifications, so now you need to know the budget. 665 00:45:22,710 --> 00:45:26,590 "A Mitsubishi Evo X costs £30,000. 666 00:45:26,630 --> 00:45:31,270 "You can spend half of that to make the Avantime as fast." 667 00:45:31,310 --> 00:45:33,150 That's not bad, actually.15,000? 668 00:45:33,190 --> 00:45:35,590 We could do loads with that. There's more. 669 00:45:35,630 --> 00:45:42,630 "£5,200 was spent on buying the car itself, so you have £9,800 left." 670 00:45:42,670 --> 00:45:44,790 How much do they spend in Formula One? 671 00:45:44,830 --> 00:45:49,910 They say that, to cut a second a lap, it's £10 million. 672 00:45:49,950 --> 00:45:51,910 So we need £140 million. 673 00:45:51,950 --> 00:45:53,670 Is there anything behind it? 674 00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,470 Just James, don't worry. 675 00:45:55,510 --> 00:46:03,390 With a lot less than that, we backed the car into a borrowed workshop, and immediately ran into a problem. 676 00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:06,990 There's a... How do you make it do it? 677 00:46:07,030 --> 00:46:09,430 Where's the thing? 678 00:46:09,470 --> 00:46:11,390 Shall I get a hammer? No, there it is. 679 00:46:11,430 --> 00:46:13,830 No, it isn't. That's where the spring is. 680 00:46:13,870 --> 00:46:15,150 It is it. 681 00:46:15,190 --> 00:46:22,910 'Eventually, we got the bonnet up, and then immediately decided to have an argument.' 682 00:46:20,950 --> 00:46:23,950 Look, guys, power. 683 00:46:23,990 --> 00:46:25,870 Power is everything. 684 00:46:25,910 --> 00:46:28,830 There's other stuff to deal with before we get to power. 685 00:46:28,870 --> 00:46:30,630 The way it handles, the way it drives. 686 00:46:30,670 --> 00:46:32,350 Why don't we just put nitrous on it? 687 00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:34,510 Remember what happened to the first Stig? 688 00:46:34,550 --> 00:46:38,510 He fell off an aircraft carrier. Yeah, we used nitrous. 689 00:46:38,550 --> 00:46:42,590 Right, cornering is where it matters. We know from the track. 690 00:46:42,630 --> 00:46:43,790 Look at the lap board. 691 00:46:43,830 --> 00:46:48,150 The Lotus Exige, not a particularly powerful car, goes quickly because it goes 692 00:46:48,190 --> 00:46:53,470 round corners quickly. GT Mustang, loads of power, slow, because they won't go round corners quickly. 693 00:46:53,510 --> 00:46:57,870 That's more important than power. Where do we start?Brakes. 694 00:46:57,910 --> 00:47:01,230 James insisted on buying new ones. 695 00:47:02,270 --> 00:47:06,230 This is the standard front disc of the Avantime. 696 00:47:06,270 --> 00:47:09,110 This is the one we're proposing to put on. 697 00:47:09,150 --> 00:47:12,870 Bigger area, vented, keep it cool, make it more efficient. 698 00:47:12,910 --> 00:47:20,430 'For sure, all this would mean The Stig could break later into the corners, but there was a downside.' 699 00:47:20,470 --> 00:47:23,470 How much do these brakes cost? 700 00:47:23,510 --> 00:47:27,150 £3,000.£3,000? 701 00:47:27,190 --> 00:47:31,190 We've used nearly a third of our budget on the brakes? 702 00:47:31,230 --> 00:47:33,910 It'll make a difference. Most important thing to do. 703 00:47:33,950 --> 00:47:37,470 'While I wasn't helping, something began to worry me.' 704 00:47:37,510 --> 00:47:40,950 Any minute now, Monkey and Wrench over there 705 00:47:40,990 --> 00:47:45,550 are going to realise they've made a catastrophic mistake. 706 00:47:45,590 --> 00:47:47,470 Hang on. 707 00:47:49,150 --> 00:47:52,310 The callipers are too big for the wheels. 708 00:47:52,350 --> 00:47:53,630 Ugh! 709 00:47:54,110 --> 00:47:59,190 'So we had to blow more of our budget on bigger wheels and tyres.' 710 00:47:59,230 --> 00:48:01,870 How much were they?A lot. 711 00:48:01,910 --> 00:48:03,590 £600. 712 00:48:06,830 --> 00:48:09,670 'As The Stig was inserted in for another lap, 713 00:48:09,710 --> 00:48:13,830 'James and Richard were convinced it was money well spent. 714 00:48:21,950 --> 00:48:25,310 We have learned from our racing experience, which we all share, and 715 00:48:25,350 --> 00:48:27,790 we have applied it to this, and we have improved. 716 00:48:29,350 --> 00:48:32,470 41, 42... 717 00:48:34,710 --> 00:48:35,950 What? 718 00:48:35,990 --> 00:48:39,430 What was it?1:42.5. 719 00:48:41,670 --> 00:48:46,670 Is it broken or something? He's gone 2.1 seconds slower. 720 00:48:48,510 --> 00:48:52,910 'This was baffling. We decided we had bought the wrong tyres. 721 00:48:52,950 --> 00:48:56,630 'So we spent another 600quid on better ones.' 722 00:48:56,670 --> 00:49:01,750 We've got some road-legal but very sticky track tyres. 723 00:49:01,790 --> 00:49:05,790 Which could be worth several seconds. 724 00:49:12,710 --> 00:49:13,710 BLEEP! 725 00:49:18,430 --> 00:49:21,510 'The new rubber was sure to get us going in the right direction.' 726 00:49:21,550 --> 00:49:25,470 If he can brake later and has more grip in the corners, he can get power sooner. 727 00:49:25,510 --> 00:49:27,670 Better tyres will enable the brakes to work. 728 00:49:27,710 --> 00:49:31,950 15 seconds, this'll be. The one thing I know about is tyres. 729 00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:40,790 1:42.7. 730 00:49:40,830 --> 00:49:44,190 So, with better brakes and better tyres we are travelling... 731 00:49:44,230 --> 00:49:46,990 0.2 of a second slower than we were originally. 732 00:49:47,030 --> 00:49:48,590 This doesn't make sense! 733 00:49:48,630 --> 00:49:50,750 How does motor racing work? 734 00:49:50,790 --> 00:49:52,390 We could try another driver. 735 00:49:55,150 --> 00:49:59,870 'Having blown half our money and got nowhere, we decided we should 736 00:49:59,910 --> 00:50:04,310 'spend a massive £2,000 on some new suspension.' 737 00:50:05,350 --> 00:50:07,710 Hang on, Stig's still in it! 738 00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:09,870 We haven't got time to get him out! 739 00:50:09,910 --> 00:50:12,310 'Fitting the new suspension was a job for James and 740 00:50:12,350 --> 00:50:15,470 'the boffins from the Top Gear technology centre, 741 00:50:15,510 --> 00:50:18,430 'which left Jeremy and me looking for something to do.' 742 00:50:18,470 --> 00:50:20,430 HE MUMBLES 743 00:50:20,470 --> 00:50:21,710 What? 744 00:50:21,750 --> 00:50:23,230 Shouldn't we lighten it? 745 00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:26,310 What do you want to take out? 746 00:50:26,350 --> 00:50:28,110 Seats. Take out just the back seats. 747 00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:30,430 No, cos then it's a two-seater. 748 00:50:31,630 --> 00:50:33,230 'Hammond, though, was right.' 749 00:50:33,270 --> 00:50:37,590 Just feel this. That's how much we've lost.You bugger! 750 00:50:37,630 --> 00:50:39,830 Yeah, that's...heavier! 751 00:50:41,510 --> 00:50:47,310 The amount of fuel needed just to move an electric heated seat... 752 00:50:47,350 --> 00:50:50,230 That would cost you a noticeable number of quid a month. 753 00:50:51,350 --> 00:50:54,670 'In order to keep the Avantime as a family car, we borrowed two race 754 00:50:54,710 --> 00:51:00,430 'seats from our 24-hour BMW racer and two from Hammond's stretched MG. 755 00:51:00,470 --> 00:51:03,070 'Then we set about replacing the heavy glass roof.' 756 00:51:03,110 --> 00:51:06,550 It's four and a half hammers across. 757 00:51:09,110 --> 00:51:13,990 'With our weight-shedding completed, I went to ask James about his suspension. 758 00:51:14,030 --> 00:51:15,790 'Which was a mistake.' 759 00:51:15,830 --> 00:51:20,430 The springs are stiffer and the dampers can be adjusted so the compression rebound changes. 760 00:51:20,470 --> 00:51:25,670 If you alter that very finely, you can keep the tyre in contact with the road more of the time. 761 00:51:25,710 --> 00:51:29,230 If the weight goes off or tyre bounces up, you lose grip, which lowers 762 00:51:29,270 --> 00:51:32,630 your cornering speed and you know that cars are faster... You asked! 763 00:51:32,670 --> 00:51:36,070 'With the car now lighter, lower, firmer, grippier 764 00:51:36,110 --> 00:51:40,110 'and fitted with better brakes, it was time for another lap.' 765 00:51:40,150 --> 00:51:41,750 Go! 766 00:51:41,790 --> 00:51:45,270 'It was now almost the end of our first day, 767 00:51:45,310 --> 00:51:49,230 'and we had to have something to show for all our effort.' 768 00:51:49,270 --> 00:51:50,390 Come on, Stiggy. 769 00:51:52,030 --> 00:51:53,430 Cornering flat. 770 00:51:55,110 --> 00:51:57,870 He's better. This is faster. 771 00:52:00,190 --> 00:52:02,510 Come on, come on! 772 00:52:02,550 --> 00:52:06,350 Ooh!1:38.2. 773 00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:09,430 Which means we're exactly 10 seconds away from our target. 774 00:52:11,430 --> 00:52:15,470 I suppose at this point you two will kill me if I say power. 775 00:52:15,510 --> 00:52:17,630 I dunno, what are you saying? Let's see. 776 00:52:17,670 --> 00:52:19,030 No, look... 777 00:52:19,070 --> 00:52:22,150 James, just old-fashioned tuning. 778 00:52:22,190 --> 00:52:28,070 Cylinder heads, camshafts, inlet manifolds. You can get filthy dirty. 779 00:52:28,110 --> 00:52:30,430 Think of that! An all-nighter in the workshop! 780 00:52:30,470 --> 00:52:34,550 All those bolts you could name and line up. We won't interfere. 781 00:52:34,590 --> 00:52:38,390 Put spanners back in order!And I promise, we wouldn't cock about. 782 00:52:38,430 --> 00:52:40,990 We would do everything you asked us to do. I promise. 783 00:52:41,030 --> 00:52:43,110 Anything?Anything. 784 00:52:43,150 --> 00:52:47,430 Including leaving the workshop and not coming back until I finished? 785 00:52:47,470 --> 00:52:50,990 Just leaving you alone all through the night. Can I have a bag of chips? 786 00:52:51,030 --> 00:52:52,790 Yes, I'll buy you a bag of chips. 787 00:52:55,110 --> 00:52:57,030 All right.Yes! 788 00:52:58,950 --> 00:53:02,390 'Before James set about his all-nighter, 789 00:53:02,430 --> 00:53:07,070 'we put the Avantime on a rolling road to see how much power it was 790 00:53:07,110 --> 00:53:12,510 'producing after six years of hard graft.'That's astonishing. 791 00:53:12,550 --> 00:53:14,230 That is astonishing, actually. 792 00:53:14,270 --> 00:53:15,990 Are you sure that's right?Yep. 793 00:53:16,030 --> 00:53:21,790 It started with 210. It's now got 157, as it turns out. 794 00:53:21,830 --> 00:53:25,470 All our figures so far have been gained with about 150 horsepower. 795 00:53:25,510 --> 00:53:29,310 We should be able to get it up to 210 with just, effectively, a good service. 796 00:53:31,270 --> 00:53:37,150 'So, we filled James up with chips and left him to it.' 797 00:53:43,590 --> 00:53:49,510 'Come the dawn, the engine had a new air filter, new injectors and a new inlet manifold. 798 00:53:55,510 --> 00:53:59,350 'Once more, the Avantime went on a rolling road.' 799 00:53:59,390 --> 00:54:01,150 Is that the HP?Woah! 800 00:54:01,190 --> 00:54:04,630 That is 206, is it?206?! 801 00:54:08,430 --> 00:54:13,870 'Hopefully, with all this shiny new power, our Avantime would fly.' 802 00:54:13,910 --> 00:54:15,870 Listen to that power! 803 00:54:17,270 --> 00:54:20,110 Some of your heart and soul's in that car. 804 00:54:20,150 --> 00:54:25,030 We really are a bit stumped after this, because how much money have we got left?Only 300 quid. 805 00:54:28,670 --> 00:54:30,230 Here he comes. 806 00:54:34,150 --> 00:54:35,670 1:36.20. 807 00:54:35,710 --> 00:54:37,710 Wow, all night! 808 00:54:37,750 --> 00:54:40,030 And your face and... 809 00:54:40,070 --> 00:54:42,710 Is there anything more to come out of that engine? 810 00:54:42,750 --> 00:54:45,310 No, because I think the gearbox will just break. 811 00:54:45,350 --> 00:54:47,110 Aerodynamics. 812 00:54:47,150 --> 00:54:49,190 Did you say you bought a spoiler? 813 00:54:49,230 --> 00:54:51,910 At a charity auction, yes. What sort of spoiler? 814 00:54:51,950 --> 00:54:55,990 A Formula One one.Well, it is a spoiler. He has a point. It's a spoiler. 815 00:54:56,030 --> 00:54:59,270 Fetch the spoiler!Let's see. 816 00:55:00,950 --> 00:55:05,350 'Once it was on, though, James and I had our doubts.' 817 00:55:06,390 --> 00:55:08,630 Look, spoilers make things go faster. 818 00:55:08,670 --> 00:55:12,550 Fact. F1 Cars have spoilers on, they go like the clappers, ergo, success. 819 00:55:12,590 --> 00:55:17,630 Among your friends with their baseball caps in Cheltenham, that is 820 00:55:17,670 --> 00:55:20,590 a generally-held belief. If you think it's going to 821 00:55:20,630 --> 00:55:26,830 push down onto the rear wheels, and this is a front-wheel drive car... 822 00:55:31,190 --> 00:55:35,990 I think the word is...optimistic. I think the word is...ridiculous. 823 00:55:37,190 --> 00:55:41,110 'Nonsense! This would be the final piece in the jigsaw.' 824 00:55:44,030 --> 00:55:47,590 Yeah! 1:35...An hour of your life. 825 00:55:47,630 --> 00:55:52,110 1:37.03. 826 00:55:52,150 --> 00:55:55,710 Nearly a second added by the spoiler. 827 00:55:55,750 --> 00:56:02,150 'However, while Hammond's spoiler was a dead loss, it did give me an idea.' 828 00:56:02,190 --> 00:56:07,230 Remember when we did the brick car race and we had that splitter on the front? 829 00:56:07,270 --> 00:56:10,350 When it fell off, we were two seconds a lap slower. 830 00:56:10,390 --> 00:56:13,070 It made a big difference. 831 00:56:13,110 --> 00:56:14,630 Why don't we put a splitter on? 832 00:56:15,390 --> 00:56:20,590 'In theory, a well-designed splitter erases understeer, but ours wouldn't be well designed 833 00:56:20,630 --> 00:56:24,190 'because Jeremy insisted he'd make it out of wood. 834 00:56:31,070 --> 00:56:32,870 'So, it had come to this. 835 00:56:33,870 --> 00:56:39,150 'All our hopes now rested on Jeremy's carpentry.' 836 00:56:39,190 --> 00:56:44,150 That plywood has, in essence, on this lap, got to take off 837 00:56:44,190 --> 00:56:46,270 eight and a bit seconds. 838 00:56:46,310 --> 00:56:47,590 'But then...' 839 00:56:47,630 --> 00:56:50,910 There's smoke. There's smoke. 840 00:56:50,950 --> 00:56:55,110 It's on fire.Stig! Out! Out of the car! 841 00:56:55,150 --> 00:56:57,830 Turn the engine off. 842 00:56:57,870 --> 00:57:01,510 Your stupid plywood splitter has caught fire! 843 00:57:01,550 --> 00:57:03,470 It's still on fire. 844 00:57:03,510 --> 00:57:05,910 It is the splitter.It's on fire. 845 00:57:05,950 --> 00:57:07,710 Wait a minute. 846 00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:09,670 This is something I've wanted to do. 847 00:57:09,710 --> 00:57:13,750 I have worked in television for 20 years and never had the chance yet, OK? 848 00:57:13,790 --> 00:57:15,470 Back to the studio.That's my line! 849 00:57:15,510 --> 00:57:17,990 That's what I wanted to say! 850 00:57:18,030 --> 00:57:19,910 May, youBLEEP! 851 00:57:27,990 --> 00:57:32,430 What I thought I'd do is put the fire out and then say... 852 00:57:32,470 --> 00:57:35,510 Back to the studio. Ha ha! 853 00:57:37,310 --> 00:57:39,430 APPLAUSE 854 00:57:42,070 --> 00:57:45,110 Anyway, we failed. 855 00:57:45,150 --> 00:57:51,470 But we decided not to give up, and in our spare time we kept working on the Avantime. 856 00:57:51,510 --> 00:57:56,590 Little details, to see how fast we could actually make it go. 857 00:57:56,630 --> 00:58:01,670 We didn't have any money left, obviously, so we spent our time fine-tuning adjustments, getting 858 00:58:01,710 --> 00:58:06,070 the suspension, the brakes right, the camber on the wheels exactly lined up. 859 00:58:06,110 --> 00:58:13,110 We even gave The Stig a plate of his favourite raw pork, for some heroics in our last do-or-die lap. 860 00:58:13,150 --> 00:58:15,590 And here comes that lap now. 861 00:58:17,150 --> 00:58:18,830 'And he's off! So, this is it. 862 00:58:18,870 --> 00:58:20,750 'Come on, Stig. 863 00:58:21,790 --> 00:58:24,710 'Look at that. It looks like a touring car! 864 00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:27,750 'A French plastic one, but a touring car nevertheless. 865 00:58:27,790 --> 00:58:31,310 'Look at that, look at the brakes, it shows they're working well. 866 00:58:31,350 --> 00:58:33,670 'Brilliant-looking thing. 867 00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:35,310 'Now, coming up to Chicago. 868 00:58:35,350 --> 00:58:39,150 'Here he is. More brilliant braking. 869 00:58:39,190 --> 00:58:43,350 'Taking that quite wide. Probably a Formula One line, that. 870 00:58:43,390 --> 00:58:46,390 'Going down to the hammerhead, this is the real test. 871 00:58:46,430 --> 00:58:49,630 'Look at it squirming under braking, very effective. 872 00:58:49,670 --> 00:58:53,390 'Gets the tail out nicely one way, back the other. 873 00:58:53,430 --> 00:58:59,230 'Understeer a bit, but the MDF aerodynamics keeping it on the tarmac beautifully. 874 00:58:59,270 --> 00:59:02,230 'Now, come on, this is James's engine tuning here, 875 00:59:02,270 --> 00:59:05,470 'coupled with my exhaust, obviously. Look at the power. 876 00:59:07,310 --> 00:59:11,590 'Stig would be looking impressed if you could see his face - assuming he has one. 877 00:59:11,630 --> 00:59:13,630 'Two corners left. 878 00:59:13,670 --> 00:59:15,430 'He's lost it! 879 00:59:15,470 --> 00:59:20,030 'No, wait, that's not out of control, it's drifting like an Evo X. 880 00:59:20,070 --> 00:59:23,590 'It's impressive. Here he comes through Gambon, and across the line.' 881 00:59:23,630 --> 00:59:27,310 APPLAUSE 882 00:59:30,150 --> 00:59:31,750 This is what we're waiting for. 883 00:59:34,190 --> 00:59:36,230 This is 1:28.2. 884 00:59:36,270 --> 00:59:39,550 We did it in...1... 885 00:59:39,590 --> 00:59:43,750 It's down here, it's a disaster. That is completely baffling, because 886 00:59:43,790 --> 00:59:49,350 every year in this country we spend £906 million modifying cars. 887 00:59:49,390 --> 00:59:53,030 As far as we can tell, it's money down the drain.All wasted! 888 00:59:53,070 --> 00:59:55,070 And on that bombshell, it's time to end. 889 00:59:55,110 --> 00:59:58,390 Thank you very much for watching. See you next week. Goodnight.